Chapter 51: Chapter 51 - Everything We Lose Will Be A Gift In Time
Rosalie's POV
I couldn't tell you how long I had been out on my porch staring out into the front yard, but when I saw a blur running towards me from the tree line I knew that it had to of been a few days.
Within a few moments Lexi stood before me with that dopey full of life smile of his. I could immediately feel some of the tension leave my body as his warm presence washed over me.
I couldn't help but rush into his waiting arms. I did regret the impromptu hug when I immediately became aware of the weird scent he was covered in and that my clothes were now slightly damp.
Immediately Lexi help his hands up in a surrendering and calm down motion. I couldn't hold off the small smile at what I know will be the most ridiculous excuse for Lexi's current state.
"I know I'm late, but I have a good excuse." I can only fold my arms across my chest and arch my eyebrow at Lexi's attempt at explaining himself.
When he realized that I wasn't going to utter a word he continued, "Remeber when the US Navy sank that German Submarine in Lake Michigan after they were done studying it? Well since I was passing by there anyway on my way I couldn't resist taking a detour to go scope it out."
At my stone faced look Lex panicked a little at my unwavering unamusment at his antics. After a few seconds of panic his face gives way to a thoughtful look as he obviously remembered something.
Lex exclaims an "Oh!" As he starts digging into his pockets. Relief flashes over his face as he pulled his hand out of his pocket.
A crooked grin adores his face and for a moment I can feel my heart crack as I remember another crooked smile.
"These are for you sweetheart." Lex says as he deposits a handful of gorgeous pearls into my hand.
He has such a confident air about him, like he knows that the offering will excuse his lateness. And he's absolutely right, he's immediately forgiven as I can't do anything but smile and softly say thank you as I give his cheek a kiss.
I can already feel myself breathing easier in Alexander's presence. A true smile finally lights up my face one that hasn't been seen on my face in weeks.
Having Lex here has already improved my downward spiral. Lexi's presence has already made breathing easier. His almost lovable power of just bringing people into ease is just the thing that I needed.
I just hope that a few months will be enough time to help me get over this soul crushing heartache.
Mary/Wendy's POV
Amber was leaving. She was leaving shortly after finding out that we had been stationed so close to each other.
Cody's death was hard for a lot of reasons, but I can still be thankful that at least something good came from it.
I wish that I was able to have more time to get to know the wonderful person that my brother has come to adopt as his sister.
Mario/Bob sadly is in Alaska at the moment and was unable to get a few days leave to come with me to see Amber off.
I was at least happy that I was given these last few months to get to know Amber more. She has this ability to draw people in and you just can't help but want to be around her, almost like a moth to a flame.
I didn't know what to make of Amber when I had gone to Mario's Airborne Graduation and he introduced us. At first I was thrown, because I had assumed that the 'Becole' that I had been hearing stories about for weeks was a guy. I mean no disrespect. Women just aren't very common in those types of career fields, so it was an honest assumption that Becole was a guy.
To say that being brought over to a tall and let's face it charmingly sexy specimen that Amber is had me weak in the knees. Then as I got to know her I became even more enthralled. I mean who can blame me when she has that effect on pretty much everyone. You would think that it would go to her head, but she literally is blind to the effect that she has on anyone, which oddly enough adds to her charm. Maybe it's because she isn't trying to be anything but herself with no expectation on the people around her.
As amazing as Amber is I've never felt anything remotely romantic towards her and Amber hasn't felt any chemistry on her end either, if he never trying ti make a kove is any indication. At least as far as I have dicerned.
We're both happy with the close friendship that we've established and I look forward to it growing closer over the coming years. I just know that with Amber around life will always be special.
Amber is like an extension of my Cousin Mario.
I know that they both bonded over the fact that they both lost their parents so young. I've always been thankful that my parents took Mario in after my Aunt and Uncle died.
Even though Mario is my cousin we had always felt like siblings long before he came to live with us. I just wish that Amber didn't have to go into the system and that she had had a loving family that would have taken her in.
Looking at Amber, Peter, and Mike being the wonderful goofy idiots that they are I can find comfort in the fact that as tragic as Amber's childhood had been, she has found a wonderful and loving family. I just hope that Amber adds Mario and myself into her small family.
Making eye contact with Charlotte I know that she is reading my thoughts loud and clear and I feel a warm loving glow grow in my heart when I see her smile and nod her head.
It has been a wonderful day. It makes my heart happy to see Amber surrounded by so much love. If anyone deserves to be showered in the same love and happiness that they bring into the world, it's Amber.
Amber's POV
It's been a little overwhelming to be honest, having so many people showering me with thanks or tokens of friendship. My going away has been wonderful, but to someone who's never really been told or shown that people want them around has been very emotional for me.
It's not like I don't know that people like me or want to be friends, but it's always been apparent that I'm never treated like how everyone else is.
Like how Charlotte, Peter, and Mike all have made sure that I'm okay especially since the break-up. And by extention Kat, and to a lesser but no less important degree Mary and Mario.
People just generally don't do that with me. People just assume, 'Oh, it's Amber. So Amber is Amber' therefore no one ever thinks to check on me. This outpouring of love and appreciation isn't normal for me to experience either.
I mean people want me around, and I mean why wouldn't they? I'm amazing and I'm fun, but no one really wants me to stick around.
Wendy seems to be making the effort to go beyond the almost casual friendship I guess you would call it that we have established over the years. If she keeps putting in the effort to keep me around I can definitely see her and Mario becoming apart of the small family that Mike, Peter, Charlotte, and Kat have created.
Though at the moment I am not amused with Wendy. Why might you ask? Well it just so happens that today, which is the last night that I'm here at Fairchild that the 'Tops In Blue' are here for a performance.
Well the Tops In Blue is a touring group made up of Air Force personnel that has special talents that can be used to entertain military members and their families. Think of the USO. But it's made up of military members for military members and their families.
Normally having a Tops In Blue show to end the night on my last day would be nice, but not when Wendy knows the sound engineer. And then when said sound engineer says that their lead guitarist ended up with food poisoning from some bad sushi from the night before and Wendy volunteers you to fill in, because apparently the show must go on.
Not only was I being goated by Wendy and her friend, but one of the vocalists happened to be a friend of mine from basic. I love Vincent, but I was not expecting to be put on the spot like that.
I mean I sure as hell should have seen it coming, because that was just like Vince to throw me under the bus like that. It's a good thing we're friends. I can't help but the small smirk and chuckle at the truth in that, because only a friend would do something like that with not an ounce of remorse.
Thankfully normally the show was nothing but 'Hits' and we all quickly were able to make a setlist that everyone knew how to sing and play. I was actually really excited to play even if I was nervous as hell. Thankfully Mike, Charlotte, Peter, and Wendy set up camp on the side of the stage to help ground me and give me some support and a boost of courage.
Everything was fine up until the finale. After we played the last song Vince decided to throw me a curveball.
I watch in horror as I registered his words. "Thank you so Much Fairchild! We want to thank you for an amazing night and for lending us one of your own to fill in for our missing band member. Amber, since tonight is your last night here, why don't you pick the last song that you want to play as a goodbye to all of your people."
I panicked. I panicked and I froze. I had to come up with something so I nervously look around as I rack my brain trying to think about trying to figure out what I should play.
When I make eye contact with my family off to the side of the stage then I glance out into the audience and as I recognize most of the faces I realize that there is a song that I think is perfect.
"Hey y'all. I guess I've been volun-told to do a solo song as a finale." I pause and strum my guitar a bit as I hear more than a few chuckles at the old military term for being told you will volunteer to do something.
"Since this is my last night here in Fairchild I think this next song is a perfect way to say goodbye. Goodbye to the people and the home that I was able to find here." I pause to try and gather my thoughts so that I'm able to accurately articulate exactly what I want to say.
I step away from the mic to try and compose myself as I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat at the truth behind my next words.
The truth that this was goodbye. Goodbye to this chapter of my life with all of the friendship and memories that we've made, but it also was a goodbye to Rosalie. A way to say goodbye to our love and what I thought was going to be my future.
I glance at Mike, Peter, and Charlotte and I know that they know the full truth behind my words. They know that this is my way of leaving behind Rosalie and putting myself on a new path. I can see tears gathering in Charlotte's eyes that I can see echo my pain.
Still looking at the 3 people that without a shadow of doubt are the center of my world I add, "Sometimes you fight it, but change is inevitable and relationships end to make room for wonderful new ones. I think that 'Wish You Well - By: Thousand Foot Krutch' is a perfect way to say goodbye." I pause as I give grim smile before turning back to the audience and continuing by saying, "To everyone that I've crossed paths with over the years here at Fairchild I wish you all well on the road to life ahead. I hope that you find yourself, find meaning and purpose, but most importantly I hope that you find peace and love even if our roads never cross again."
Charlotte's POV
I could feel the few tears that had gathered in my eyes fall down my cheeks as I can feel Amber's pain echoing in her words. With each word resonating in everyone's hearts. As i looked to Peter and Mike I can see them holding their emotions in as they realized that Amber isn't just saying goodbye to the home that she's created over the last few years she's saying goodbye to this chapter of her life. The one that involved Rosalie.
The three of us struggled with not being able to help Amber more with the break up and all of the pain that it caused in its domino effect.
It did bring us some comfort knowing that Amber is finally healing and that with time will be able to put this behind her.
As Amber strums the final chords and takes her guitar off and raises it one handed above her head as a goodbye it feels like a weight has been lifted from Amber's shoulders which in turn made the three of us breathe easier.
I couldn't hold myself back anymore and I rushed into Amber's arms before she fully made it off of the stage.
Rosalie's POV
It's only been a week but I can already feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I know that Lexi's presence is mostly to blame for my uptick in mood. It gives me hope that I'm finally moving on from the whole 'almost mate' ordeal.
I know that Lex has picked up on the fact that I'm more weighed down and into my grief than I ussually am, but thankfully he doesn't ask a lot of questions he just goes with it.
Well that only lasts the first week, after that Lex decides that whatever is going on with me, that I need to talk about it.
We had just gotten home from a magical 'date' night. Alexander decided to take me to a museum fund raising exhibit. There was a fancy dinner and then dancing, which we tore up the dance floor with all of the old style dancing that we grew up on in our human life. Well that I grew up on, since Lex is quite a lot older than I am.
After an enchanting evening they opened up the museum for us to explore, which among all of the wonderful exhibits they were premiering their newest exhibit, the history and invention of the automobile. They had some of the first engines that were ever made all the way to the newer models.
After countless hours of exploring to my hearts content while Lex held my hand with a smile on his face as he was just content to watch and experience my happiness. The drive home was a peaceful one filled with laughter. Time flew by and before we knew it we had made it back to our small home.
Shortly after arriving home I made my way outside to the porch as I leaned on the railing as I breathed in the cold crisp air while I watched the stars as I just let my brain and heart sort through all of my thoughts.
It was such a magical night. I truly felt seen and cherished with how much detail Lex had put into making me feel special.
With that thought I felt a small pang of hurt thinking of all the wonderful things that Amber had done for me throughout our time together. Thankfully the pang was smaller than it had ever been since everything blew up. That thought was both heartbreaking and a relief all in equal measures.
A relief that I was finally healing and moving on, but heartbreaking in the sense that that also means that Amber is becoming a part of my past, someone that in time will be barely a memory.
During my inner musing Lex had made his way outside and leaned onto the railing a few feet from me as he soaked in the night air.
Lexi takes a deep cleansing breath as he looks out at the stars as Lex softly asks, "So, are you going to tell me about whatever has you on an emotional rollercoaster?"
I didn't know what to say or how to say it, but like things with Lex I went with the simple, "I thought I found my mate."
Shock covered Alexander's face as he just says "Oh."
I give him a heartbroken smile as I say, "Yeah, oh."
He stays silent for a minute or so, before he takes another deep breath as he says, "Sometimes, we love people like we love the stars."
I fail to see where this is going as I exasperatedly and tiredly ask, "How?"
He simply replies, "We love them knowing we could never have them."
I'm shocked into a stunned silence at the profound analogy. In a way that was very true.
"I'm sorry Rosalie. I don't know how to help you since I've never been lucky enough to even come close to thinking I might have found my mate."
I snort as I very much don't feel 'lucky' to be this heartbroken.
Lex slowly turns to me as a pins me with a serious look. A look that held a deep hidden pain.
"Yes, you were lucky to experience a brief moment of love." A hard look comes over Lexi's face as he gathers his thoughts. "I've been alone for a long time. Too long. Several centuries to be exactly. You got to experience love and that is a gift, even if it was a fleeting love. To think that someone was your mate meant that you felt deep and true love even if they weren't your mate, because it was still a true love none the less. I would gladly accept some pain to even get a glimpse of that kind of love."
It took me a few moments to gather my thoughts, but in the end I knew that Lex was right, our lives maybe eternal, but we need to find meaning and feeling love along the way makes the pain worth it.
I make my way closer to Lex as I lean my head onto his shoulder. "I love you Alexander and thank you. You make my life brighter just by being in it. That light is what's going to help heal my broken heart."
Lex doesn't say anything back, just gives my head a soft kiss as we both gaze back out at the stars as we lose ourselves in our thoughts.
Amber's POV
I gave a carefree laugh as I caught Charlotte who flung herself into me. I'm thankful for her vampire durability and quick reflexes since as soon as my arms caught her there was a flash and and I would have landed on my ass if she wasn't able to hold my weight.
After I stopped seeing black spots I realized that the flash was Vincent taking a photo.
I could only smile and laugh at his unapologetic look of smugness. I knew without hesitation that that picture would be all over the internet by tomorrow morning.
- Time Skip -
Amber's POV
As i walk out of the SERE School for the last time I can't help but stop and take it all in for what will probably be the last time, for at least a long time.
Years worth of memories flash before my eyes.
Fun and memorable moments full of shenanigans and games of all kinds.
Like games of capture the flag with full snow fort encampments with medieval castle forts that turned into to full scale fights with fists and snowballs.
Playing tag with tasers that we definitely weren't 'allowed' to use, which means that they 'never happened'.
Cookouts and get together with people that became so important to me as we became a weird dysfunctional type of family in all of the best ways.
But most importantly meeting Mike and Clay.
Memory after memory of moments and experiences that shaped me into who I am today.
I'm broken out of my thoughts by Mike clasping his hand onto my shoulder as he too takes in our second home for the last time.
Shoulder to shoulder with my brother I know that the sadness that we feel over saying goodbye isn't going to be the end of anything, but the beginning of the next adventure.
I turn my head to the left to look Mike in the face as I try to formulate my words that I just don't seem to be able make come out of my mouth.
Mike turns to me and holds my gaze as he gives me a small smirk, because like always he knows exactly what I'm thinking. I give a smug smile back when I realize that we're saying everything that needs to be said with just a look.
Yesterday we were handed our envelopes with all of our paperwork. Mike opened his first and quickly scanned the top sheet that held his orders. He was estatic that he had gotten one of his top choices, Japan.
I opened my envelope hoping to see Japan written as my next duty assignment. Not because that was my first choice, but because that's what Mike's assignment was.
I didn't even register what my assignment was at first, because it didn't matter. I didn't care where it was. It didn't matter, because it didn't say Japan, which means that we would be seperated. It was like a punch in the gut when I was able to register that it said Italy not Japan.
At least we would be semi close. That was a least a bit of comfort for us.
I'm going to miss his constant calming presence the next few years.
I know we'll visit and keep in contact, but it won't be the same as having him right there with me.
I don't know how long we stood there staring at eachother, but we jump a little when we hear Peter honking his truck's horn at us to get us moving.
Peter only laughs at the glare on our faces at his scare.
The car ride to the airstrip is a silent one. Mike is drumming his fingers on on the dashboard in the passenger seat while Charlotte is cuddling into my side in the backseat.
Charlotte pulls her head off of my shoulder as she looks at me and asks me again, "Are you sure that you don't want us to come with you?"
I take a deep breath in and out before saying, "It's not that we don't want you to come, but this is our last time together at least for awhile. Then after that I think the solo traveling thing will do me a world of good.
Besides this is my first time seeing Europe and I want a chance to explore and backpack around. Plus I really do think that the time to myself will help me sort through stuff before I have to report to the base.
Charlotte sighs with resignation as she lays her head back onto my shoulder.
I know that Peter and Charlotte mean well, but I really do need some time to myself. I need time to process everything and to accept my new reality. The one that won't have Mike or my old life in it...one that doesn't have Rosalie in it. That's the big one.
I know that the three of them know full well that I need the next few weeks to myself and why, but they just don't want me to have to go through the pain of it alone at least.
It's one of those inevitable things though. So they're letting me go even if they want nothing more than to cocoon me in with their love.
In no time we're standing behind the the C-130 that will be taking Mike and I overseas.
Peter and Charlotte give us both bone crushing hugs. It breaks my heart just a little bit when I see the few tears flowing down Charlotte's face as she gives me a heartbreaking smile.
I cup her face as I promise to stay safe and to call and check in.
She nods and softly says, "I know, I'm just going to miss you. It seems like we just found you and now you're leaving."
And there it is. Another chip to my armor. The acknowledgement that anyone that loves me has to deal with the pain that comes along with loving a service member.
Before I can tumble into a tail spin of regret or self loathing, Peter and Charlotte each cup one of my cheeks as they reassure me, "No Amber, we know. We know that this is what the realities of your life hold, but those realities don't diminish the fact that we wish we all didn't have to go through them. Just because we are sad to see you go doesn't mean that we don't understand the reasons. We love you and nothing will ever change that. We will see you in a few weeks. Take care of yourself and have fun."
I grab both of them into a tight hug as the relief washes over me. This is a hard life, but it is survivable if both sides are willing to make the effort to make it work. Peter and Charlotte understand and accept me and the ups and downs with my job.
After a minute or so Mike joins in on the family bear hug. It seems like in no time that the crew chief is telling us its time to load up.
Mike and I give our last hugs and goodbyes to Peter and Charlotte before starting our IPods as we put in our earbuds for the long flight.
With one last look around I start to make my way up the ramp into the aircraft.
With a humor less laugh I realize that the random song could not have been a better choice.
As Zac Brown Band's 'Leaving Love Behind' starts playing the irony isn't lost on me as the truth behind those lyrics hit me full force.
I truly am leaving my love behind. My love for the friends and family from the SERE School, the price of my heart that Charlotte and Peter will forever hold, and most importantly the love that I had to let go for the family that I thought that I had found and the love that I will probably always hold for Rosalie.
The hardest part is always leaving love behind and with that acceptance I slowly make my way up the ramp as that realization weighs down my every step.
- Time Skip -
Amber's POV
The last few days have been beyond amazing. Mike and I parted ways when the plane landed in Germany. Mike had to wait for the next plane to Japan and I went to go and explore Germany.
I made a day trip to Paris and saw all of the staples. I was happy that I had only decided to spend a few hours in Paris, because I wasn't happy with the food. It wasn't that the food was bad, but the portions were so small! The look on the waiter's face when after eating my meal I ordered 3 more meals was pretty priceless.
Germany was phenomenal. I wish I could have spent more time there. The history alone had me fully captivated.
I had booked myself on a train headed from Germany to Italy making sure that I added stops in almost every country and city along the way for at least a day of sightseeing.
That was by far the best decision that I could have ever made. I let my curiosity and childlike wonder lead me around seeing and experiencing things I never thought that I would experience.
I started to get this weird feeling an hour or so before our Innsbruck, Austria pit stop.
I didn't plan on stopping for more than a few hours here since the main draw would be sking and hiking and I didn't have days to explore. I had added Austria to my countries to visit list when I get leave.
By the time that the train rolled into the station in Innsbruck I felt so antsy.
I was so happy when I stepped off the train and I hastily made my way outside, desperate for some some open space and fresh air away from the crowd of people.
The view of the mountains was breathtaking.
As I made my way down the street I had this weird feeling. Looking around my gaze was drawn to a group of 6 people standing off to the side down the road from me. As I evaluated the group I noticed a shifty man leaning on a wall about 50 yards away on the opposite side watching the group.
I wouldn't of paid much attention to this man's weird vibe except the fact that I had a feeling he had ill intentions. My protective instincts were being raised the longer the man seemed to be watching the group. The fact that the group was mainly women, well 4 women and 2 children to be exact, had me stopping where I was to make sure that they stayed safe.
I didn't have to wait long, because within seconds the man took off towards the women at a sprint. He grabbed one of the women's purses and kept on running. Within a split second of him grabbing the woman I took off like a shot.
Thank gosh for my ruck training and rucking experience, because even with my backpack I was on the idiot within a minute.
I managed to grab the back of his shirt and pull him onto his back. In a split second of his back hitting the sidewalk I had punched him in the face as I made sure to also grab the purse with my other hand.
The man realized that he was outmatched and while clutching his broken and bloody nose he lept up and ran off down the sidewalk and disappeared around the corner.
I really wanted to go after him and teach him a lesson in manners, but I took the high road and made my way back to the group of women.
I held out the purse to the group of women as I also tried to maintain a respectful distance knowing that they might be afraid. I kept my eyes down on the purse as I gave a smile and calmly said, "Here you go ma'am."
There was a long pause where no one said anything and none of the women made a grab for the purse. I look up from my gaze on the purse and into the eyes of the woman closest to me as I realize that there was probably a language barrier.
I start to ask, "Do any of you speak Engli..." I couldn't finish my sentance as I realize that I'm looking into the ruby red gaze of a vampire. I gulp as I quickly realize, not just one vampire, but 6 vampires.
Despite my manners and upbringing I couldn't hold back my shock as I exasperatedly whispered an "Oh Shit."