"James Hawkins, right?"

"Who's asking?" Jim snapped out of his thoughts and looked over at the Canid. The dog-like alien dipped his head and offered a hand to shake and Jim regarded it silently until he dropped it awkwardly at his side, "Askeladd Ellery, but everyone calls me Ash. I'm the boatswain."

"Jim."

Ash stood there a moment longer in silence, his pointed ears twitching and turning toward any noise that Jim presumed he heard. They stared at each other for a moment longer before the Canid cleared his throat, "So…what brought you to that planet?"

"Just stopped there between jobs."

Another strained moment stretched between them.

"I'll…I'll let you get back to work…"

Jim watched him hurriedly leave the bridge and part of him felt a little guilty for being so stand-offish, but it was for the better. It was always for the better not to build friendships when he'd be hopping onto another ship in a couple months. And especially this time…

He sighed. He had a plan. A goal. This whole ordeal had ruined everything.

The ringing of the watch bell drew his attention and he turned to watch the crew switch. It struck him now that it was evening. How did that happen? It had just been morning a few hours ago…Jim tried to figure out how he lost so much time and he was reminded how exhausted he was. Crazy how missing one night of sleep could completely drain a man…

Speaking of watches, Jim realized he had no idea which watch he was on, or even if he'd been assigned to one. Each ship was different; some made the officer crew members take a watch, while others didn't, and no one had thought to tell Jim which was which here.

"Who's the damn quartermaster?" he mumbled. It was their job to coordinate with the crew, they should be the one to tell him-

"That'd be Timetra," the helmsman piped up from the wheel.

Fuck me.

Not only had Jim been avoiding her all day, he was more than certain she was avoiding him as well. He didn't blame her. Not after he'd punched her. But she could at least have someone else tell him his duties. It was her job after all…

Jim tried to approach Timetra four times before he gave up. The first and second watch had completely gone by at that point and he stared out at the stars. His body was dragging and his thoughts were muddled, but the part of him that desperately wanted to please everyone was winning out and he found himself staying awake through the dawn and into the morning in case someone had mentioned to him off-handedly which watch was his. He didn't want to let anyone down…

What am I thinking? Why do I care? No one here cares…

The day dragged almost as heavily as his feet. Even so, somehow before he knew it, it was night again. There was a ringing and Jim wondered briefly what the hell it was.

Middle watch. Time to strap in until 4am…

"Screw this," Jim mumbled. He needed sleep. And if he could sneak anything to eat…the sudden realization that he hadn't eaten or slept in two full days…or had it been more? He honestly couldn't remember.

If anyone had tried to talk to him he knew they would have been faced with a dead-eyed expression. They would have gotten more engagement from a blank wall. He was so tired he saw double and his stomach ached in a way that made it seem as if food were a distant memory he'd left behind in another life.

Jim felt a weak sob catch in his chest.

The crew's quarters were packed. There wasn't even a spot to hang a hammock. And the thought of sleeping in there with the rest of the crew after he'd been so cold toward anyone who tried to talk to him…Jim turned around and went back up to the deck and looked for anywhere else to sleep.

His stomach growled and reminded him that food was a requirement to support life.

His feet took him down to the galley before he could even think that maybe it was a bad idea. The memory that Silver was mad at him didn't bubble back up to the surface until he'd made it down the stairs and he was standing in the walkway between the tables. There wasn't much in the way of food that was set out, and he couldn't exactly cook anything without more than likely waking Silver up.

Jim staggered when he started to turn around to leave again.

Silver won't be in here for a while…it won't hurt to take a nap…just for a minute…I'll find something to eat later…

He fell onto a bench and slumped over the table. He didn't even have the energy to argue with himself. He'd have to find someplace else to sleep in the long term, like maybe in a longboat or in the cargo hold, but for now...here would work…just for a short nap…

Jim jerked awake when a heavy, familiar hand clamped roughly on his shoulder and he yelped as he whipped around. He was still half-dazed from being asleep, but he knew who was glaring down at him by the distinctive red glow.

Suddenly Jim was a dumb fifteen year old again, gazing up at Silver as he stood imposingly over him and he felt as if his whole world might just shatter. He knew he couldn't hide his emotions from Silver, especially not when he wasn't fully awake, and he was certain his expression looked like that of a man resigned to his own death.

Silver had once said that he liked Jim, liked him a lot even, but liking someone wasn't the same as loving someone and Jim wasn't sure he fit that bill. In fact, he knew he wasn't one of those lucky few that Silver loved…he thought once that maybe he had been. But not now. Not anymore.

His heart sank. There would have to be some higher power out there looking out for him now for Silver to have the good grace to hear him out. And Jim hadn't had much luck with anyone looking out for him in a long time.

Sidon might be getting his map back whether he likes it or not…

Silver loved Jim. He really did. And he would always love Jim no matter what.

But he also loved his wife more than life itself and he wasn't sure what to do with the fact that Jim had actually put his hands on his wife. And it wasn't like he just pushed her or even slapped her; he had PUNCHED her. He'd killed men for doing less to women he cared far less for than his beloved Timetra…but this was Jim. So really all Silver could do was stew in his anger until he was able to 'have a chat' with Jim. He had no clue yet what the chat would actually entail.

So when Jim started avoiding him like a cowardly little shit, that only made it worse. If he was going to punch a man's wife, he could at least have the balls to let her husband confront him, right? Silver himself had been on the wrong side of an angry husband's fist in his younger days.

He decided he'd nab Jim after lunch to have their chat. So when Jim didn't come down to the galley it only made him angry again.

Damn kid!

Fine. He'd catch him at dinner. There were plenty of things he could do to try to keep his mind busy and off his frustration in the meantime. But Brigit wasn't being much help, because she just kept pestering him over and over if she could dip out of her own duties to go talk to Jim and he had to keep coming up with excuses for why she couldn't.

I might be able to forgive you for hitting Timetra if you have a good explanation. But Brigit…I'll be forced to kill you, Jimbo.

Not that he thought Jim would do THAT. Although, up until this morning he never in a million years would have thought Jim would punch a woman. Much less his lovely, sweet Safflina. Sure, she was as strong a woman as they come and she'd handled herself against men three times Jim's size…but it was the betrayal of it all. How could Jim punch, of all people, HIS wife?

Well, to be fair…he didn't know that at the time. And Safflina can be downright scary if she wants to be.

Surely he had a reason, right? But Safflina would also never attack anyone for no reason, even if they were a smartass like Jim. According to Timetra, it sounded like Jim swung at her unprovoked…but that couldn't be right, could it?

"Papa, I want to talk to him, pleeeeeeease!" Brigit pushed out her bottom lip and gave her best begging look. She had such big eyes and then she put a wobble in her lip-

"After dinner, eh? Does tha' work fer ye, me girl?" Silver relented. The pure joy that lit across her face was so precious, but it only deepened his worry that Jim might…no he would never hurt her, would he? Silver would just have to catch him before Brigit could and put the fear of God in him.

So it was a disappointment to both of them when Morph came down into the galley without Jim. Silver stroked his fingers through Brigit's hair and Morph nuzzled her cheek, "Ye'll g't plenty o' chances te talk te 'im, me girl. Jest ye wait."

It was more of a reminder to himself, but the relief across her face made him feel better. If just a little bit.

Where is he?

Jim hadn't eaten anything all day, and he was already skinny enough as it was. Silver's concern that had been growing all day increased every moment he didn't know where Jim was. He was unhappy with the boy to be sure, but that didn't mean he wanted him to starve! He wouldn't wish that fate on anyone.

"Is Mr. Jim ok, Papa? I haven't seen him since this morning and he hasn't been down here for ANY meals! Can't YOU find him? Where's that 'super sniffer' you brag about us Ursids having, huh?" Brigit smirked and elbowed her father in his left arm. True, Silver probably could find Jim if he took the time to…

He ruffled her hair lovingly, "Well tha' woul' jest be too easy, hm? Why don' ye give tha' nose o' yours a test, eh?"

Brigit's eyes widened with wonder. They'd done smell exercises before, namely to make sure their supplies were still fresh and nothing had turned, and occasionally for finding Timetra, but never for anyone else. She danced excitedly, "Ok!"

"Woah, there!" Timetra caught their daughter's arm as she tried to zip past her on the stairs. She gave Brigit a confused smile, "Where are you running off to so close to bedtime?"

"Papa set me on a smell test!"

Timetra raised an eyebrow and turned the smile toward him, "Is that so? What for?"

"Mr. Jim!"

The amusement left his wife's face in an instant and she pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing as she scrutinized Silver, "Did he now?"

He stiffened reflexively under her gaze. Surely she wasn't mad at him now was she? She'd understand why he was worried for the boy…right?

"He hasn't come down for any meals today and-"

"And it's bedtime. You can do a 'smell test' some other time," Timetra lifted Brigit easily and set her at the bottom of the stairs, raising her hand to stop any argument. "No complaints. Bed. Now."

"Ugh, Mama!" Brigit groaned but she knew better than to disobey her mother. The moment she was out of their line of sight, Timetra leveled a withering glare at Silver that made him shrink back a little.

"So…I tell you a man punches me and you decide to send our little girl to go find him? What, so he can hit her, too?! I don't…" She paused to visibly calm herself before continuing in a much more tender tone, "...I know he's important to you, Balaav'a. But…I don't trust him. And if you want to still be buddies with him after what he did, I will support you, but Brigit is my daughter, too. And I don't want her near him right now. Is that clear?"

It was only fair…wasn't it? Silver sighed, "I understan', Safflina. I jest…it don' make sense te me. 'E never woul'a-"

"The Jim you knew from how long ago?" She approached slowly and touched his hand. "It's been almost eighteen years, Balaav'a. People change."

Well, hell if that wasn't true. He'd surely been proof of that more than once, and Jim HAD lost his mother (which was heart-changing enough, as Silver knew) but also someone else. A friend or–more likely–a lover. That kind of loss surely could change a person. But it was just…unfathomable for Jim to do that.

Then again…some of the things that Silver had done right before meeting Jim would have been unfathomable to him when HE was 15, too. It was just hard to picture Jim as anyone other than that boy…but he was a grown man now…

"Come to bed Balaav'a," Timetra clasped his hand and led him from the galley.

Silver sighed again and relented. There was nothing he could do if Jim wouldn't show his face. What was the point of staying up and worrying?

Of course it was always easier said than done, and Silver stayed up far too late going around and around in his own head as he tried to make sense of it all. He finally found peace and closed his eyes after he came to the conclusion he would have to hear Jim's side of events.

But Jim didn't show up for breakfast, and Timetra left Silver to come up with some excuse to tell Brigit to keep the girl from running off first thing in the morning to complete her 'smell test' he'd assigned the night before.

"Ok, papa, let's go! I definitely think I can find him!" Brigit grabbed her father's arm excitedly, and he wanted nothing more than to oblige her and go find Jim. But Timetra was right; Brigit was her daughter, too.

"Brigit, darlin'...I don' t'ink Jimbo want te be foun' righ' now. 'Ow 'bout ye and me go fer a longboat ride in a bit, huh?" It was so hard not to melt at her disappointment, and he hoped the prospect of a longboat ride would lift her spirits a bit.

She brightened a little and they made their way to the longboat bay. The crew would be fine until dinner.

It was nice getting away from the ship too. Brigit was clearly enjoying the longboat ride as well, but she was a little more…pensive than usual. And distracted. She kept looking back toward the ship even when it was long out of sight until she eventually turned to him, "Why doesn't mama want me talking to Mr. Jim?"

Silver just looked at her, unsure of what to say. It was a fair question, and he knew his girl was no fool.

"She…she don' trust 'im, is all. T'ey didn' have a great…first meetin'..." He said, trying to tell her the truth without fully telling her the truth.

She pursed her lips and studied him for a moment. It was clear she still had questions, but she didn't press any further. A mischievous look went over her face and she grabbed the controls and sent the boat on a dizzying path.

They enjoyed the day despite his worry and her disappointment and it was relieving to get back to the ship and rest.

Well…not rest. They had dinner to worry about first. Silver saw how Brigit searched the faces of the crew members for Jim, and he'd be lying if he wasn't also looking for him. The human hadn't been to any meals yesterday. Hadn't been to breakfast today and now…he wasn't here again.

And yet again, Silver couldn't sleep.

Silver's feet moved on their own, bringing him down the hall as silently as he could go to not wake either Timetra or Brigit. And just like any other time he was upset he went to the galley. He almost didn't see the man sleeping at one of the tables and he started past before his nose told him that he needed to look around the room again.

It was Jim…and he looked like shit.

Before he could even think, Silver grabbed Jim's shoulder in a firm grasp. They were getting to the bottom of this NOW .

Jim reacted immediately, whipping around with a noise of terror, and he looked up. Silver froze. The look in Jim's eyes before he recognized who Silver was- it was gone in an instant, replaced by resignation and sadness. Jim's throat bobbed as he swallowed.

Silver looked him up and down quickly, and for a moment he really wanted to yell at Jim for disappearing like that. But the man looked so tired and so damn skinny.

"Don' ye dare move, Jimbo. Ye sit t'ere while I makes ye somethin' te eat," Silver said softly, patting Jim's shoulder.

He looked confused, but he relaxed the smallest amount, "You're…not going to hit me?"

"Oh, I oughtta," Silver chuckled at Jim's fearful expression, "Bu' I wanna give ye a chance te 'splain yerself, boy. An' besides…ain't fair kickin' yer ass when yer belly's empty, right?"

Jim let out a weak laugh, his face still twisted in worry, "Yeah…I guess…"

He stood, but Silver pushed him back down to sit at the table, "Didn' I tell ye not te move?"

"Sorry," Jim looked so much like a kid again when he made that sheepish expression. He tucked his legs under the table and sat quietly, head tucked down. Silver wondered if he'd be awake when he'd finished cooking something, since it really looked like Jim might fall asleep again if he closed his eyes for even a moment.

"So…wanna tell me wha' happened?" Silver asked quietly.

Jim flinched and avoided his gaze, "I…I hit her…"

Silver rolled his eyes, "I know tha' part already…wha' I don' know is why ye woul' put yer 'ands on me wife, Jimbo. Wanna 'splain tha' te me?"

"I didn't mean to!" Panic leached into Jim's voice. "I didn't know she was your wife and I wasn't aiming to hit her! She just got in the way…I…I just…as soon as I said I was Starboy she ordered the two guys with her and that Askeladd guy to 'escort' me to the ship-"

His eyes cut up toward Silver's face and desperation filled his features, "I-I'm sorry, I never meant to- I'd never hurt someone you love, not on purpose! But no one said their name and they were willing to pay a lot of money to find me and last time that happened-"

Jim's voice cut out, choked by emotion, his gaze became distant and terrified, and his hand went to the scar through his eyebrow.

Silver felt the anger and tension immediately rush out of him. So it was just a misunderstanding . Thank Heaven…he didn't want to have to hurt Jimbo.

"Well, tha' 'splains it te be sure. Why, if someone tried te nab me wit'out tellin' me where they was from I'd prolly do I mite more'n jest throwin' punches, if ye catch me drift, boyo," Silver smiled, his relief surely evident on his face, "Ye still migh' wanna make nice wit' Timetra, though. She cannot nor would not tell me not te see ye, but Brigit…she don' wan' Brigit near ye, an' the girl's sore 'bout it."

"I've tried to apologize…" Jim's shoulders drooped. And then they drooped further when he seemed to process what Silver had said, "I can't see Brigit at all?"

"No' without gettin' me put in the dog house, that's fer sure…" Silver whispered, but at the disappointed look on Jim's face he said, "Bu' if ye two 'appen te run into each other while she's, say, swabbin' the deck or any o' t'ose other t'ings cabingirls do…well, I ain't got no par' in tha'..."

Jim's face broke into a slow grin and he nodded, "I see…so do you make her work as hard as you made me work, or do you go easy on her cuz she's your kid?" The hint of a smirk toyed at his mouth and he nudged Silver's left arm.

"She a 'ard worker all on 'er own cuz she's me kid, Jimbo," Silver laughed, and then he admitted, "Bu' I were definitely tougher on ye, boy. Mos' days, at least…"

"Most days?" Jim's face broke into a wide smile and he raised an eyebrow. "What days didn't you go tough on me, huh? We must be remembering different things, you sure you're thinking of when we were on the Legacy, right?"

"Oh I weren't tha' bad, Jimbo! No' once I got te likin' ye after gettin' t'rough tha' rough exterior, at leas'," Silver grinned while ruffling Jim's hair.

The young man chuckled softly, "What? I don't know what you're talking about a 'rough exterior'..." He made a pained expression, "Ok, maybe I am a bit…prickly…It's a wonder I've ever made any friends…"

Silver smiled sympathetically, "E'en roses got thorns, Jimbo…an' I shoul' be proof 'nough tha' yer rough exterior ain't 'nough te keep people fr'm seein' the greatness underneath. 'Cause if anyone wanted te NOT be yer frien', Jimbo, it were me at the star' o' that voyage."

"You still think I've got that greatness in me?" Jim smiled sadly. He looked down at a small, old wound on his left palm and traced the scab with the thumb of his other hand. A look like he really wanted to talk about something came across his face briefly before he smiled again and looked a little hopeful, "So…you're saying there's a chance I might be able to sway Timetra into not hating me as much?"

"O' course! On both counts!" Silver winked at Jim and gave him an encouraging look.

Jim smiled, genuinely this time, and he sighed. He started as if he remembered something and looked a little sheepish, "Hey, could you…ask Timetra what watch I'm supposed to be on? She uh…she's been avoiding me and I…haven't really…I don't know what watch I have and I haven't…I didn't want to miss it you know…so I didn't…sleep…"

"Jimbo!" Silver exclaimed in fatherly concern, "I'll ask 'er but don't ye worry 'bout it tonight nor tomorrow nigh'! Go te bed, boyo! I can handle yer watch the next couple of nights."

"You don't have to-" he started to argue, but a raised eyebrow and a stern look stopped the words from coming out and he sighed. "Thanks. Could I…get something to eat first? I'm pretty sure I looked like a dead man most of today…it'd be lucky if anyone got a single coherent word from me." He laughed, but quickly stopped at Silver's unamused gaze.

"Tha' ain't funny, Jimbo. Ye gotta eat! Wha' if ye don' eat fer two days an' t'en the ship crashes on some desert planet or somethin' an' yer already weak from starving, huh? An' don' give me tha' look! I'se seen it 'appen 'afore!" Silver scolded and glared at Jim bemused expression.

"Well, then I'll have to be sure not to steer us toward any desert planets, huh?" Jim chuckled softly, clearly ignoring the very real threat that potentially could happen…maybe…"I'll stick to nice planets with lots of food and no deserts."

He pushed himself up from the bench and moved into the kitchen area and asked with a teasing tone, "Got anything good in here?"

Silver's glare deepened as he served Jim the stew he'd whipped up in the span of 15 minutes, "Yer not nearly as funny as ye t'ink ye are, boy."

"What are you talking about? I'm hilarious," Jim laughed softly. Silver watched him take his first bite and it was as if he hadn't tasted anything better in his life by the way his eyes closed and he savored the bite before swallowing.

"Tha' good 'nough fer ye?"

Jim cracked an eye and smirked, "It'll do."

Silver just rolled his eyes. His food was delicious.

He made sure Jim finished the bowl - and a second - before he sent him off to bed. Jim looked back over his shoulder and smiled once more before he disappeared up the stairs and Silver let out a sigh. It was late and while he wished to go to bed as well, he'd promised to take Jim's watch.