Sidon shoved himself between Jim and Silver and Jim could only gape up at him. And then the Zora snapped at him! Jim barely even registered what he'd said, he was so astounded at the behavior. He met Silver's own startled gaze before he backed up and slipped out of the galley to do as Sidon had ordered.
What the fuck was that for?
The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. Jim stormed across the deck and up to the bridge. He could only stand here and stare at the screens for so long before he'd literally die of boredom. What the Hell did Sidon expect him to do all day? Just stand here?!
First he kicks me out of his room and then he gets all…whatever the fuck that was! What the FUCK?!
He hadn't even done anything! Jim had thought Sidon would be mad about tying him to the mast and then literally fucking another guy right in front of him, though he hadn't planned on the second part of that situation happening. But the Captain had just immediately gotten possessive and taken Jim to his room and only afterward did he show any signs that he was even remotely mad at him .
It wasn't entirely his fault about what had happened. He hadn't expected Tuatoai to be in the area. And honestly, he'd completely forgotten about their…past encounters…it wasn't fair of Sidon to really even be mad. It wasn't as if they were exclusive or anything, they just more than occasionally fucked…
Jim felt the swell of anger in his chest dulling and a new, sharper sting of hurt went straight through his heart.
It was familiar, almost comforting. Why was he such a glutton for pain? He hated pain, but here he was, time and time again, chasing after something he couldn't have and shouldn't want. Not when- Jim shook his head and he leaned on the control panel with a sigh. Let the heaviness in his chest pull his eyelids closed.
"Jimmy."
Annoyance tinged the happiness he'd felt at hearing that voice. Jim turned away from his desk slowly, one eyebrow raised and a carefully applied scowl on his mouth, "You wanna try that again?"
Professor Caolan O'Haare came through the door of his stateroom the rest of the way and swung it closed. A smirk adorned his face, "You let that robot refer to you Jimmy, why can't I?"
"You know I hate it when B.E.N. calls me that. He only gets a pass because there is no amount of threatening or arguing that will get him to quit."
"Mmm, then what should I call you?" Caolan slid his coat off his shoulders and tossed it in the direction of the chair in the corner. It missed and made a muffled thunk - which it definitely shouldn't have - when it hit the floor, but he didn't bother to collect it and hang it up and instead made a step in Jim's direction.
Jim let his eyes wander. Caolan was a beautiful man and to say he wasn't savoring the view would be a blatant lie. Tall, taller than him at least, broad-shouldered, athletic but with a slight pudge at his belly, brown hair so dark it was nearly black. Stunning slate gray eyes. Jim leaned back against his desk and crossed his arms over his chest. He grinned a little when he noticed that Caolan was looking at him the way he'd been admiring the other man.
"What do you want to call me?"
"Brat."
"That's fitting!" Jim couldn't help but laugh. He pushed himself up onto the desk to sit and leaned back on his hands, still smiling wide, "Go on, what else?"
"Child."
"Now, that's just rude," He spoke in a mock-hurt voice, turning his head away and pouting.
Caolan moved closer still, chuckling, "You are a child."
"I'm twenty-seven, thank you very much."
"And I'm thirty-nine."
Jim looked over at him, eyebrow cocked again, "So?"
He could read the guilt on the man's face. He'd seen it countless times over the course of their friendship. Some part of him couldn't seem to get over the fact that Jim was an adult, and had technically been an adult, when they'd first met and started to get close. Their situation wasn't unheard of. A professor and student - FORMER student getting together wasn't that uncommon, even if it was still taboo.
It was the only reason they'd decided to see each other in secret. Caolan had tried to push Jim away at first after realizing their emotions toward each other, but Jim was a persistent bastard and he knew what he wanted. Three years of chasing after Caolan and he was finally able to break his resolve. Though it had taken Jim getting to the point of deep depression and a nasty wound after a bar fight before Caolan had finally seen that the distance was only killing both of them slowly…well…it would have killed Jim faster because of his stupid impulsive behavior.
"I shouldn't want you as much as I do. Shouldn't be allowed to love you."
Jim snorted, "Stop that and come here already."
Caolan obliged him, coming to stand right in front of Jim. He slid off his desk, bridged the distance between them. They reached for each other at the same time, took handfuls of the other almost desperately. Kissed as if they would die without the other.
They gasped for a moment with their noses still touching and eyes closed, so close Jim could feel the scratch of Caolan's well-manicured beard. He smiled softly.
"I missed you."
"Two years is too long to be apart," Caolan whined.
"Oh, so I'm the child, huh? Look at you whining and crying over here- mph!"
Caolan kissed him again, more forcefully than before. Guided him backward until he bumped against the desk. Kept going until they were both sprawled across it with Jim pinned under him. Jim barely held in a moan as Caolan kissed along his jaw and down his throat, "Too damn long-"
"Professor! I'll have to report you for using that language in front of a student!"
"Oh, shut it! Where's your coat? You know I like it when you wear it," Caolan mumbled against his neck.
Jim shivered, "If I'd known you were coming I would have worn it-"
"You arrived in port and thought I wouldn't come to see you immediately?!" The other man pushed up onto his hands and gazed down at Jim with an alarmed and unbelieving expression. Jim felt his cheeks starting to flush.
He brushed off his surge of joy with a scoff and a smirk, "Are you saying you missed me?"
Caolan answered by kissing him again. He melted into the affection. Two years WAS too long, but he hadn't been given much say in the matter. The Admiral had specifically requested he handle the last mission, and despite how big a brat Jim was, he couldn't say no. It had felt like an eternity, but now it was over and he was finally back where he wanted to be.
"Jim-" His lover mumbled around his lips.
Jim hummed back, trying to pull him closer so he couldn't talk. Caolan tangled his fingers into Jim's left hand and dragged it away from where it had been curled up in his shirt.
He felt something slip over his second to last finger and almost dismissed it before choking a little and yanking his hand up where he could see it. A plain gold band twinkled brightly back at him. Caolan looked at him with such a hopeful, terrified expression, "Jim…"
"Are you…?"
"Marry me."
His mouth fell open. He never in a million years would have ever thought those words would actually come out of Caolan's mouth. He'd dreamed about it more times than he could count, but with them being in a secret relationship-
"Captain James Hawkins, my love, my life, my everything…will you marry me?"
Jim sat up and shoved his mouth against Caolan's in a frantic, clumsy kiss. Wrapped his arms and legs around the man and they tumbled back onto the desk again. Tried to suppress the wild laugh that wanted to break free. He was already crying, if he laughed as well he'd look insane for sure.
He pulled back after a minute and allowed a tiny huff of a laugh out, "I will!"
His fingertips brushed the earring in his left ear. It took Jim a minute to build the courage to pull it out and hold it on his palm, and then longer still before he slid it down where it used to sit on his ring finger.
Jim pulled it off quickly. Reattached it to its new home in his earlobe.
Tried to shake the memory out of his head, but he couldn't keep the visions from dancing in front of his eyes no matter what he tried to think of instead.
"Mm!" Jim pushed at Caolan's bare chest, gently coaxing him off so he wasn't being crushed. He didn't mind for the most part, but he'd just thought of something and it wouldn't leave him alone now. His lover- FIANCE rolled off with a grumble and a pout.
"What's in your coat pocket?"
Caolan stared at him blankly for a moment, his long, dark hair loose and cascading all around his face and shoulders. But then his eyes lit up and he motioned with his head as a smile spread over his face, "Go check it out!"
Jim crawled out of the bed and scooped up the coat, fishing through one pocket and then through the other, and he let out a soft "oh!" when his fingers curled around the corners of something cold and metallic. The box was strange; four rows of identically sized squares, each with a marking he couldn't decipher on it. There were no seams he could see to open the box, and no purpose that he could guess at. Maybe it was a map?
A map…A MAP!
He looked back at Caolan excitedly, "Is this a Bonder Map?!"
The smile on Caolan's face was answer enough and he launched into his open arms and showered his cheeks and lips with kisses, "You brilliant, beautiful, amazing man! I knew you'd find one!"
"Stop it! I'm not all of that!" Caolan laughed softly, but he held Jim closer and pulled him up into his lap so they faced each other.
Jim hummed happily as he began to absently twist the sections, his urge to solve the puzzle driving his hands, "Yes you fucking are! You've searched for one of these for how long?! And spent how many countless grant drabloons on expeditions to find one?"
Caolan grimaced a little, "Don't remind me."
"Where was it?"
"Private collection. Part of some rich noble family's personal museum. I taught the youngest son last quarter and we got on the topic somehow and he took me to see it when he realized what I was talking about," Caolan's eyes tracked the motion of Jim's fingers as he twisted the swiveling parts around.
Jim hummed again, "Oh, I see how it is. Spending alone time with your students while I'm out of town…"
"There's nothing between myself and him. You're the only one who has my heart, Jim. Always and forever."
His cheeks flared red hot at Caolan's murmured confession. Jim muttered something incoherent even to himself back, words between 'shut up' and 'whatever' getting jumbled in his mouth until it was just a mess and he didn't know what he was saying anymore.
"The kid - Brian Igram the Fourth-" Caolan spoke again, interrupted by Jim's whispered "Ooh, the fourth! How fancy." which made him smile and nobody would be able to convince Jim otherwise.
"Anyway, he said he'd hire me and a crew to go where the map led if I could open it. He'd even pay me a cut of the treasure at the end."
"Lemme guess," Jim grinned as he continued to fiddle, "You didn't open it."
"I've been working on it for five months with no luck. I think Mr. Igram's getting impatient," Caolan sighed. He laid his cheek on Jim's shoulder, head turned to watch as Jim played with the map. He heaved another sigh, "I was going to take it back to him and apologize when I got the news you had made port."
"Thanks for taking time out of your busy day to come here," Jim chuckled.
Caolan snorted. He leaned in and kissed Jim's neck gently.
Jim could feel the map turning easier. It WANTED to be solved. A smile danced over his lips, "You ever heard of Treasure Planet?"
"Mmm, course I have. Who hasn't?"
"Did I ever tell you about how I was the only one able to open the map to Treasure Planet?"
Caolan went very still. He took a shaky breath and then pulled back slowly so he could look up at Jim. He hardly breathed the question, "What?"
Jim was having a hard time suppressing his grin, "M-hm, it's true."
He made one final turn and there was a soft click. Four of the inner squares on one side popped up like a button and boy, they were just BEGGING to get pressed. Jim started to reach for them, but Caolan shouted, "Wait! We have to take it to Mr. Igram!"
And just like that Jim found himself sprawled on his back in the blankets with the map clutched in his hands as Caolan shoved him off his lap and leapt out of the bed. He watched the man rush around frantically as he yanked his clothing back on. Jim rolled onto his side and held up the map, "What's the harm in opening it before we take it to him? I'll just open it again when we get there-"
"You don't understand! That's not how this map works!"
Jim sat up the rest of the way, "It's a map isn't it? It'll be fine-"
He reached again for the button and Caolan dove toward him, "WAIT!"
"After everything you've done, you still have the nerve to want to run away from your actions?" Jim whispered to himself.
He opened his eyes, sighed again, glanced over the controls, checked the navigation screens. If he stayed up here with nothing to do he would drown in more memories and it would drive him to throw himself over the side of the ship to escape them. Something tugged at him, curiosity at movement out of the corner of his eye, and he looked up. Sidon stood stiffly at the top of the stairs that lead to the galley. Their eyes met.
The Zora's face flushed as crimson as the rest of him, he nodded his head politely, and then he turned and practically sprinted away.
A rush of heat had flooded through Jim at the sight of Sidon and refused to go away. It clung to him just like the feeling of the man's hands moving over his skin. Longing, tingling, aching need shot right down in his very core. Played with his heart like a bouncy ball. If Sidon asked him to, he'd walk off the end of the bowsprit...
It felt just like-
"Oh fuck-"
Jim stumbled backward. He clutched at his chest as if it were on fire. Damn this heart! DAMN THIS HEART! This was not the time to…to fall in…
"Jim, are you ok?" Davey stepped away from the wheel and toward him, hand outstretched and expression anxious.
"I- ye-yeah…" Jim gasped. He hurried down from the bridge to find a dark corner to berate himself in peace.
This - of all times - was NOT the time to fall in fucking love!
Not when…not when it was all for nothing…