The Perks of Being an Exorcist

by amukWrites

Tonight had all the markings of a usual Friday night—his drunk mother, their cold take out, a movie flickering in the background as he cleaned the dishes. The only difference was that this time, he'd brought him a friend. This time, Yuji had followed him home and though Junpei didn't know it, it had changed his entire life.

Title: The Perks of Being an Exorcist

A/N: For the Junpei Cut zine! While I love the tragedy of his arc, I also love what-ifs so…what if Yuji had followed him home? What if his mother had lived that night? It's fun tugging on a string and seeing how the story unravels and what new picture is formed. And yes, had to rework the trio's reunion because canon did not have nearly enough emotion there.

Summary: Tonight had all the markings of a usual Friday night—his drunk mother, their cold take out, a movie flickering in the background as he cleaned the dishes. The only difference was that this time, he'd brought him a friend.

This time, Yuji had followed him home and though Junpei didn't know it, it had changed his entire life.

…

…

…

…

Junpei's mother was drunk.

Not that it was an unusual state; Junpei was used to Friday night de-stressing, Nagi drinking beer can after beer can as she complained about her coworkers. They'd eat take out, mock a c-rated chick flick, and by the time the credits rolled he'd find her slumped over unconscious. Sometimes, he'd even prepare a blanket ahead of time to spread over her shoulders so she wouldn't catch a chill. More often than not, she'd still be in her work clothes and complain the next morning about the wrinkles in her dress shirt, the stains in her stocking, the make-up smeared on her face since she forgot to wash it off.

"Should we wake her?" Yuji asked, sitting backwards on a chair next to the kitchen table. He leaned closer, the chair angled so it was only on its back two legs as he scrutinized Nagi's face as she rested awkwardly on the flat surface. "Her neck's gonna hurt."

No, what was unusual was having someone else here to witness it. Junpei barely had any friends, let alone ones he'd call over, and here he was in his kitchen in the middle of the night with a kid he'd just met a few hours ago. It was strange. It was surreal.

It was oddly nice.

"Yeah, it always does," Junpei replied, crouching down next to his mother. Gently, he brushed her hair away from her face, combing it behind her ear. Every time Nagi woke up on the table, she'd complain about the cricks in her neck and back and how she was too old to do this anymore. How this time was the last and never again. How she had a headache, and she was starving and binge-drinking was for the kids in their twenties.

Junpei's only response was to leave a spare cushion next to the table.

"We could carry her," Yuji suggested, thumbing over his shoulder in the direction of the bedroom. The way he acted, it was like this was his tenth visit, not his first. "It's not that far."

"Well…" It was something Junpei had thought of before, but he'd never been confident of his strength. With how fast Yuji ran, he was probably strong. Maybe he went to the gym and lifted weights. Carrying his mother would be nothing.

"She's really knocked out," Yuji added, hopping off the chair. He gave a good-natured grin. "Bet she wouldn't even wake up."

Junpei couldn't refute that. Biting his lip, he nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Effortlessly, Yuji lifted Nagi off the chair, not needing even the slightest assistance as he headed to the bedroom. While they'd only known each other for a few hours, it wasn't that hard to peg Yuji's character. The boy next door, the nice idiot, the fun jock—Junpei could name trope after trope, identify all the archetypes that made it all too easy to trust this boy in a way he didn't trust the classmates he'd known his entire life.

Perhaps that's why Yuji's words still echoed in his head: Then killing would become an option.

Option.

How long had it been since he'd thought about it as a decision, as a choice? As something more than a matter of survival or even just delayed karma?

Alone in the bedroom now, Junpei tucked his mother in, brushing her hair back once more. She sighed, wiggling slightly as she shifted into a comfortable position. Would her smile disappear if she knew the things he'd witnessed? The thoughts he'd had? The blood he'd wanted on his hands?

What about Yuji? Would they ever talk about movies again?

It was an unsettling feeling. In the dark, Junpei couldn't see his reflection in his mother's dresser mirror. He wasn't sure if he could recognize it if he did.

Mahito's smiles had been full of teeth and malice, his words coiling around Junpei's heart like a snake. It was easy enough to follow Mahito, to like him, to want to be him. Power was seductive, especially the power to make his bullies crawl and beg. There had been no one Junpei could talk about these immoral thoughts. No one who would take him seriously and tell him, They're the wrong ones. You're right. It's not bad to feel like that.

But Mahito had always met him in the dark, in the shadows, the light so faint that it was hard to read his expression. Junpei had never been able to tell if Mahito saw him as anything more than those lumpy monsters he created, a fun pastime and nothing more. If one day Mahito would discard him, leaving Junpei alone once more.

When he returned to the living room, Yuji was on the phone. "Yeah, oh come on, I'm not a little kid—well, yeah, I'm dead, but like—fine."

It was a strange conversation but nothing weirder than everything Junpei had witnessed the past few days.

"Sorry," Yuji said after ending the call. He rubbed the back of his neck with a slight pout. "I know I said I'd leave, but the guy I'm with said he wanted to pick me up here. Something about how it was 'only proper to show appreciation'—he talks like such an old man." Yuji frowned, rubbing his chin. "I guess he is old though?"

"How old?" Junpei asked, curious. All he knew of exorcists was just what Mahito told him.

"Middle-aged? I dunno." Yuji crossed his arms, deliberating on it. "I guess he's younger than Gramps, but like your mom's age? Older?"

Junpei laughed. "So…not really that old."

"But like, he thinks like an old man. Who's this formal over hanging out?" Yuji rolled his eyes. There was a knock on the door, and he perked up. "Oh, there he is."

"What?" Junpei glanced at the time. It hadn't even been a minute. "That fast?"

"Yeah, he was already on his way," Yuji explained, ambling off toward the front door. "Anyways, he's kinda my boss? The guy I wanted you to meet earlier."

Boss. That word sounded heavy. Junpei swallowed as he followed Yuji. He couldn't be that bad, if Yuji talked about him like this, but…what was the punishment for knowing Mahito? For accepting his powers? For doing nothing when he killed people?

What should the punishment be?

Before he could think any further, Yuji swung open the door, revealing a middle-aged salaryman with blonde hair and glasses holding a small box of sweets.

Most importantly, he wore a shirt covered in blood.

-x-

Junpei was lucky. His mother was fast asleep, Nanami the salaryman/exorcist was surprisingly tidy, and the exorcist world had several secret miracles to get rid of blood stains.

(And though he would never know it, he was lucky on a fourth count: an exorcist staying overnight made it harder for any mishaps to occur.)

"Um," Junpei asked as the three of them sat in his living room like they were at the worst parent-teacher home visit. The only saving grace was that his parent wasn't awake. "You're a salaryman?"

"Yes," Nanami replied bluntly, his tone brusque as he towelled off his damp hair. He'd all but taken over the bathroom when he arrived, washing off the blood and grime and asking for a change of clothes. Junpei's biggest shirt didn't quite fit right on him, tight and constricting enough to show that despite the older man's placid manner, he was far stronger than any salaryman Junpei had met. Just how long did someone have to train to get those muscles? "And now I am in overtime."

"I see," Junpei replied blankly, not understanding it at all. He glanced at Yuji for an explanation. Were there set hours to being an exorcist? What did overtime even mean in this case? Did this guy have two jobs?

The other boy shrugged. Junpei wasn't sure if it was because Yuji was just as confused or if he just didn't care.

"I can sense that monster's energy here," Nanami continued, wiping water droplets off his neck. His sharp gaze met Junpei's. "Explain."

Junpei swallowed. There was nothing kind about how Nanami looked at him and perhaps that was the salaryman part, the way he acted as though he were getting a summary report, as though Junpei's tale was just another statistic.

Maybe it was. Maybe in the exorcist world, his story was as common as the monsters they fought.

Yuji sniffed the air, perplexed. "I don't smell anything."

"It's not a smell," Nanami replied softly. He adjusted his glasses, his expression softening. "Try focusing."

"Focusing…" Yuji furrowed his brow as he stared at Junpei. It wasn't long before he relaxed, his features smoothening once more. "Oh! I see it! That's a weird energy."

"It's weak, but there," Nanami replied. He turned his attention back to Junpei with a cold countenance. "How did you get it?"

"That…" Junpei swallowed. It would be easy to lie, so easy. Say he'd just bumped into Mahito and got lucky. Say he didn't know how he got this energy, he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. But Yuji was watching him, and Yuji was smiling encouragingly, and perhaps it wouldn't hurt to be honest, just this once.

"I went to a theatre last week…" he started, his hands clenched on his thighs. By the time he finished his tale, he couldn't look up, couldn't stand to see Yuji's expression change to disgust or horror. Eyes glued to his lap, he mumbled, "And that's it."

A heavy hand hit his back. "That's shitty."

"Huh?" He jerked his head up, surprised.

Yuji scratched his cheek. "Well, I mean, don't think that was right but like… I get it."

It was just like with that teacher earlier. No judgement, no questions, just pure understanding. Junpei's vision grew blurry, and he wiped his eyes, trying not to cry.

"I see." Nanami took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead. "I didn't anticipate babysitting two kids." His voice remained a neutral flat, tone devoid of praise and condemnation. "I'm neither your parents nor your teachers, so I will not waste both of our time talking about this. I'm sure you already know the problems with what you did."

Junpei swallowed and nodded. Despite Nanami's words, it still felt like a scolding.

"More importantly," Nanami continued sliding his glasses back in place. "We need to determine our next steps. That cursed energy within you can still cause damage."

"R-Really?" Junpei asked, his eyes darting to the bedroom door. What if he had hurt his mother?

"Fortunately, it isn't that strong, but there's no telling if that will change." Nanami sighed, pulling out his phone. "The most appropriate response would be for the school to take you in temporarily."

Had he heard correctly? Junpei stared at the older man, waiting for the but. There had to be a punishment, right? After all, he'd witnessed his classmates die, said nothing about it, and even hung out with the murderer. When Nanami just started talking on the phone, Junpei turned to Yuji for confirmation. "Wait, that's it?"

"We're going to be classmates!" Yuji bounced excitedly. "That's freakin' awesome!"

Perhaps Mahito wasn't the only strange being around him.

-x-

As she had done for the past few days, Nagi sat at the kitchen table, and studied the enrollment letter in her hands. Her fingers ran over the embossed words on the envelope. The crisp white paper crinkled as she moved it. "This isn't a scam, right?" she asked for the nth time.

Junpei tried hard not to roll his eyes or tease her. Ever since she'd woken up hungover and hungry only to find Nanami in her living room, his mother had been in a state of disbelief. A rich, prestigious, private school? All expenses scholarship, board included?

They would have been fools not to accept it.

"Yeah," Junpei repeated as he poured himself a glass of juice. "Yuji goes there."

"Somehow that makes it feel even less reliable." She scratched her head, finally setting down the letter. "I can't believe he's in an elite private school. He doesn't seem like a rich kid. I doubt he got in on scholarship too."

"Well…" He couldn't disagree; Yuji didn't scream of money or brains. "Sports scholarship?"

"Oh, they do those too?" Her work bag was at her feet, and she groped it blindly, grip fumbling until she pulled out a cigarette box. "Knowing that kid, he's probably the top of the pack there. What sport does he play?"

Exorcism wasn't an answer he could give. "Football?" Junpei suggested, coming over and taking the lighter out of his mother's hands. "You said you'd quit."

"Right, right. Just had a lot on my mind." She smiled apologetically, giving her cigarette a despairing glance before she set it into the ashtray. "Guess this'll be the last time you say that, since you're leaving tomorrow."

A caveat of going to the school was the requirement to live in the school dorms. It made sense, but all he could think about were his classmates, his cigarette burns, their mocking smiles. The indifferent teacher, looking away, always looking away.

Yuji would be there.

Perhaps it wouldn't be the same, for that alone.

As though hearing his thoughts, his mother ruffled Junpei's hair. "Well, Yuji's a good kid, so I guess I won't have to worry. I'm glad you'll be together."

"Me too." Junpei smiled. More than his mother could ever possibly know, he was too.

"Just make sure to keep safe." His mother stood up and stretched her arms behind her. She rubbed her neck, another crick developed from yet another drinking bout. "And call."

At the mention of safety, Junpei glanced at her house keys, dangling off a key hook. A charm had been attached, looking just like one that could be bought at any temple. "You'll remember to keep that with you, right?"

"Huh?" She followed his gaze and grimaced. "I thought you were too old to believe in those kinds of things."

He clenched his jaw. "Mom."

"I got it, I got it." She waved off his concern. "I'll keep it with me, don't worry. Maybe I should buy you one of these myself."

"It's…important, ok?" There was no way to explain to her the world he had dabbled in. Not that Junpei wanted to—she didn't need to know about the monsters in the dark. Nanami had promised the charm would keep Nagi safe from any curses that might chase her because of him and that was all Junpei needed. "You have to keep it close. You can't forget it at home or drop it or—

"I know, I know. I'll keep it with me," Nagi interrupted, hushing him as she wrapped an arm around him and drew him close. "I'll miss you, worrywarts and all. It'll be lonely when you're gone."

"Me too." He turned slightly, hunching slightly as he leaned on her shoulder. Junpei felt like a little kid again, his mother dropping him off for his first day of school.

"Guess it's good practice for college. When did you get so tall?" She rested her head on his. "Bet I'll be begging you to visit, you'll be so busy."

"Bet you'll be begging me to leave, I'll be home so much" he mumbled, gripping her tighter.

She laughed. "Never. Don't you know? All moms want their kids to stay forever."

-x-

There were many things Junpei associated with school—endless rows of desks, crowded halls, jeering students—and he found absolutely none of that when he arrived at the Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College. It was a sprawling place, more like a university than a high school. Which made sense, the word college was in the name after all. Still, it was massive, the buildings all either taller or wider than any he had ever called school.

However, that paled in comparison to the grizzly man who had greeted him in a dimly lit temple. A stuffed bear sat next to him, looking like it had been washed one too many times. It was more like a cult initiation than a school entrance ceremony. Just how many schools had a temple this big on the grounds?

The meeting had been short and to the point—a quick hello, a simple warning, and then Junpei had been hurried out into his first class.

Well, perhaps calling it class was stretching it.

The classroom he had been ushered into had been a basement living room, furnished simply with a leather couch, a low table, and a TV. A mountain of DVDs sat on the table, the cases neatly ordered alphabetically. Junpei sank into the couch and stared in a daze, not sure how to take all of this. Next to him, the stuffed bear sat calmly after having walked in with him.

A stuffed animal. Walked.

What a strange, strange week he had been having.

"Ohh, they picked new ones!" Yuji said, unphased as he eagerly dived into the DVD collection. His eyes were wide as he flipped through the cases, briefly checking the summary when he picked a particularly interesting movie. "I think I've only seen a few of these, lucky!"

"Uh…" Junpei swallowed, glancing at Yuji, and then scanning the small room once more in case someone was hiding in the shadows or under the floorboards. It was still just the two—three? Did the bear count as a person?—of them. "I thought you said you had classmates. And a teacher."

"Yeah! There's two of them, we didn't really talk much before I died but—" Yuji paused. He frowned, biting his lip as he contemplated something, and then he sat up ramrod straight. "They still think I'm dead!"

Junpei held up his hands. There was only so much he could take in one day. "Wait, you're dead?"

"Not anymore!" Yuji replied cheerily, sinking back into the couch. He crossed his arms, his lips twisting as he considered the problem. "I should tell them, shouldn't I? We're both here too. Maybe they won't be too mad if they see you?"

Junpei was still processing that first sentence. How exactly did one become 'not be dead anymore'? Yuji talked about it like he was talking about a meal he had last week or the weather. "Are you a zombie?"

"No—wait." Yuji tugged his shirt collar, peeking down at his chest. His eyes scrunched as he studied his skin. "I don't think so… I don't really see the stitches anymore." He turned to Junpei. "I don't want to eat brains."

All Junpei knew were a handful of zombie rules from movies and none of them applied in a world where curses were a thing. "I… I don't know."

"Don't smell bad either, and I think my heart's beating." Yuji shrugged as he let go of his shirt. "Guess I'm fine. You know what movie you want to watch?"

Still reeling over the conversation, Junpei could only stare at Yuji blankly before registering the question. "Oh. Uh. Not really." He picked up the bear beside him. It stared back at him with soulless eyes. "I don't really understand what I'm supposed to be doing here."

"It's not that hard, I did it too!" Yuji explained, wiggling over and leaning across Junpei to pat the bear on its head. "Well, actually, it was hard at first, but you get used to it."

"It?" Junpei repeated.

"Pouring your curse energy into the doll." Yuji's hand started to glow, a strange black gaseous substance enveloping him and the bear's head. As though a switch had been flipped, the bear turned its head and immediately punched Yuji. He blocked it with a laugh. "Whoops. Maybe not just like this."

While Junpei had expected the bear's movements by now, it was still shocking to see it behave like a robot. Nanami had pulled him aside before dropping him off in this room, going over the training session in broad strokes. The older man had been annoyed over it all, clicking his tongue over and over again about how 'inadequate' this training was and how 'the method should match the student'. While Junpei's output was nowhere near as large as Yuji's, this training was supposed to help him get used to using it until he was advanced enough to join the proper classes.

That had sounded simple before.

The bear was fast when it punched Yuji. It would probably be strong too.

Junpei swallowed. "As long as I give it energy, it won't punch me, right?"

"Yeah." Yuji let go of the bear and sat back. "Worst of it is really when you're at the best part of the movie, and you forget and wham, you're the one getting sucker punched instead of the bad guy. You know how hard it is to cry for Jack's death when your gut's broken?"

No and Junpei hoped he'd never have to know.

"Day of the Dead," Yuji read aloud as he picked up a DVD with a zombie on the cover. "Wanna watch? We can find out if I'm a zombie or not!"

That felt oddly inappropriate after everything, but then again, Junpei wasn't the one who might be one of the undead. Gingerly, he picked up the bear. "Sure."

-x-

(Yuji had not been joking.

Shawshank Redemption: wham.

The Green Mile: wham, wham.

Crazed Fruit, Grave of the fireflies, Seven Samurai: wham, wham, wham.)

-x-

The lights flipped on as they watched Akira, and Junpei blinked, blinded.

WHAM.

Blinded and gut punched. He gasped for breath, the bear jumping on his lamp in a boxer's victory dance.

Yuji twisted his torso, his hands gripping the back of the couch as he turned to the intruders. His grin grew wide as he recognized them and he waved cheerfully. "Hey!"

"We're here for our new classmate," a girl said, her words as sharp as a blade and cold as ice. "I don't see anyone else here. Do you, Megumi?"

A boy, presumably Megumi, grunted. "No one alive, at least."

Yuji laughed, not put off in the least. "Come on, don't be like that Nobara." He picked up the bear before it could gear up for round two. A button clicked and Akira continued to play soundlessly in the background.

Regaining his breath, Junpei stood up and turned around. Two teenagers his age stood behind the couch, glaring at Yuji. A boy with messy black hair and derisive scowl: Megumi. Beside him, a girl with short brown hair and a murderous expression: Nobara.

And now that Junpei could understand his powers a little better, he could see just how outclassed he was to them. There was a fluidity and strength to their movements as they walked, as Nobara whacked Yuji, as Megumi plucked the bear with a grimace. And while he still couldn't sense this energy properly, he could feel it rolling off them in waves, making the hairs on his arm stand up.

Though all of that paled in comparison to Yuji's power.

"Movies and a bear?" Megumi snorted as he dropped the bear back onto the couch. "Of course this is how Yuji learned."

Nobara smirked, unable to resist the easy jab. "Learned? You sure it's not all instinct?"

"Rude," Yuji bit back, but there was no venom.

It was easy to see that the three were friends. Junpei wasn't sure if he should be here, if he should witness their reunion. He was a third wheel with nowhere to go.

"Rude is not telling someone you're alive," Nobara snapped, bristling. Then just as quickly, she pivoted to Junpei, smiling and twirling her hair around a finger as though he hadn't seen her hit Yuji like a hammer hit a nail. "Sorry you got stuck with him."

Junpei didn't know how to react. Would she hit him if he said the wrong thing? His old classroom had been lonely. He didn't want to go through that again. "T-that's not a problem. At all."

"Oh, you seem a lot easier to work with than him." Nobara grinned.

"Easy to use," Megumi mumbled under his breath.

Nobara elbowed him automatically. The smile didn't leave her face. "I'm Nobara."

Junpei swallowed, wondering just what he'd gotten himself into. "I'm Junpei."

-x-

It was late, almost midnight, by the time Junpei found time to text his mother. All settled in.

You unpacked fast, she replied.

I had help. He attached a photo of his classmates unpacking his suitcase. None of the three, even Megumi who had seemed the most reserved, had any sense of personal space. They'd all dug through his boxes, asking him about his movie posters and t-shirts as they scattered the items on the floor. Junpei would have to wait till tomorrow to actually put his things away. They're nice. You'd like them.

Looks like you made new friends.

Junpei stared at the message. Friends. He hadn't thought of it that way. But the last hour had been like an episode in a TV series, a teenage school comedy that he would have lambasted as being too fake before this. They'd laughed, shared a pizza, made plans this weekend to buy a few key missing necessities.

This time, he hadn't been watching it on a screen or watching someone else.

Perhaps friendship was the word for this warmth spreading through him.

His phone beeped as his mother sent another text. Bring them over for dinner.

Junpei could picture her smile. If she were here, she'd probably ruffle his hair, telling him it was about time he invited people over.

Sure, he replied quickly. Remembering Nobara's punch earlier, he added, But no drinking.

He had a feeling his mother and Nobara meeting would be chaotic enough without adding alcohol in the mix.