The Holy Land, August 2, 2018
"I've always heard that there was a harsh beauty in far and barren places," Jing Ke said, frowning. "Even in my day, there were enough odes to the empty wastes to fill a dozen volumes of terrible poetry and maybe a few pages of good ones. But this ," she grumbled, waving the bottle in her hand broadly at the blasted wasteland around them, "makes the whole genre seem like a terrible mistake."
Looking around, Ushiwakamaru agreed with her friend's assessment. The Pharaoh's dunes had been bad enough, but this new domain outside his was ruined beyond anything she could have imagined. The land looked dead, cracked and fissured where it wasn't dotted with enormous craters. The moon would have been more hospitable. Even in the middle of a cloudless night, the stars seemed muted, and nothing moved except the wind and the two Servants standing watch while their lord and companions slept. "Perhaps this is just a strikingly ugly example," she offered.
Jing Ke nodded in consideration. "It makes me glad I brought something to drink," she said, and a long pull from her bottle.
"You're always glad for that," Ushi pointed out.
"No words have ever been truer."
"And you're taking more than your share. I didn't get more than a couple of mouthfuls before you took it back," Ushi complained. Her friend wasn't usually so stingy.
"I brought it, my share's whatever I say it is." Jing Ke twirled the bottle on one fingertip, letting not a drop splash out. "Besides, I'm only drinking enough to keep up with you! It'd be uncompanionable for me to be sober while you're already tipsy. I can't help it if you're a lightweight."
Ushi felt her brow furrow in irritation. "I am not a lightweight."
The Assassin smiled indulgently. "Ushiwaka, my friend, you are the original easily-carried burden." She paused and took a quick drink. "Don't feel bad. My sisters could drink me under any table you could find."
"I'm surprised to hear that there's anyone who could keep up with you." Ushi made a grabbing motion at the bottle, and Jing Ke handed it over with a look of exaggerated loss, rolling the stopper back and forth across the back of her other hand like a charlatan's trick. She took a swallow, grateful for the bite and the sweetness of the plum wine that cleared her throat of the dry dust that seemed to be this land's only product.
Jing Ke held a hand out, but Ushi moved to raise the bottle to her lips again. "Hey, no more. Hey!" the Assassin said, and snatched at the bottle, but Ushi had anticipated it and leaned back out of the way, fending her friend off with one foot. Closing her eyes, she tilted the bottle over her mouth again, and waited.
And waited. Nothing reached her lips.
Opening her eyes, she found Jing Ke's sandal in front of her face, toeing the stopper into place in the bottle's mouth. Jing Ke shot a warning glare past her foot, poised as easily on one foot as Ushi was. "There is no way in any of the hundred thousand little hells that you are drinking the rest of that."
"Then it's a good thing we're not in one," Ushi retorted, refusing to bend.
Without losing her balance in the slightest, Jing Ke twisted to look this way and that at the gods-forsaken landscape. "Are you sure about that?"
When Ushi opened her mouth to reply, the Assassin flexed her leg and smoothly kicked the bottle up and out of Ushi's hands. Stopper and all, the bottle flipped end over end as it flew up and then back down. Both of them braced to catch it, eyeing each other as much as the bottle. Jing Ke moved first, leaping lightly up off the ground to grab it, but Ushi flickered forward with a shukuchi step, blurring past to snatching the bottle away just before Jing Ke touched down.
A flick of Ushi's fingertip sent the stopper spinning out of the bottle's mouth and off into the wastes with a whine like a bullet. Try and cork it now , she thought, only to find that Jing Ke had closed in while she was congratulating herself, smooth and silent, and gotten a hand on the bottle anyway. The Assassin pulled, and Ushi pulled back, starting a brief, superhuman tug-of-war. Before either of them could gain the upper hand, the bottle gave a faint cracking sound, and they froze. As one, they looked at it, and then glared at each other across it.
Ushi didn't quite dare to start pulling again. It was one thing to wrestle your friend for their booze, and another to be so greedy for it that neither of you got the chance to drink it. She decided to try words again, on the off chance they'd accomplish anything useful. "Just let me have this. I know you have another one."
Jing Ke shook her head. "I'm saving that one for later. Do you know how hard it'd be to find rice wine out here? I don't think they have rice. I don't even think they have crops."
"I know, and that's why I want some ," Ushi snapped, twisting at the bottle with a subtle motion she'd hoped would pop it free. She felt a moment of triumph when it slipped toward her, but Jing Ke moved like lightning, whipping the end of her sash around the bottle and pulling it taut to keep it suspended between them. Ushi locked eyes with her friend again, not backing down.
Begrudgingly, Jing Ke said, "Okay. One more swallow."
"As long as you give it back afterward."
"I meant one more for you , you brigand."
Brigand, was it? "A friend wouldn't try to leave me with so little," Ushi snapped, narrowing her eyes, "and an enemy wouldn't dare."
Jing Ke matched her look, letting a hint of violent intent show. "Is that how it is?"
Ushi didn't flinch. "It is." She really wanted this drink, and if you were going to steal from another predator you couldn't show weakness in front of them. Besides, if Jing Ke seemed the least bit threatening, it was on purpose, which meant this was for show. Probably. She hoped. Jing Ke was her friend, but getting on her bad side for real was a terrible idea.
A gust of wind swirled dust between them. Neither of them moved a muscle.
"Why do you want this so badly?"
Ushi let out a long, annoyed breath. She had been hoping to be more subtle about bringing it up, but…. "I want to talk to you about something."
"Wait, you need a drink to talk about it?" Jing Ke seemed dubious.
"No! It's just…" Ushi glared at the bottle as if it was the source of her trouble. "...Yes."
Jing Ke regarded her silently long enough to make her sweat before saying, "Half of what's left."
"Just let me -" Ushi started.
"Don't you think it's rude when a friend becomes an imposition?"
"...Very well. Half."
With a sigh, Jing Ke flicked her sash from around the jar. "Also, fair warning, if you start ranting about how you're going to fix Perseus's mistake and behead the other two Gorgons, like you did last time you got smashed, I'm going to stuff you in the trunk of da Vinci's silly buggy with all the bedding on top of you so no one hears you. Friends don't let friends telegraph their kills."
Ushi nodded gratefully. It was good to have reasonable people around. "I'd rather not think about them right now, anyway." She took another drink, less guarded this time, and sighed her satisfaction as she felt the alcohol kicking in. "Oh. Hey, this stuff is pretty strong, isn't it?"
Winding her sash back around her waist, Jing Ke shook her head and smiled. "No."
Ushi made a dismissive sound and took a longer drink.
Jing Ke found a suitable patch of bare rock, swept the dust away as best she could, and sat down. "So what's the trouble?"
Ushi sighed. "Give me a minute." She raised the bottle to her lips again.
"You're really going to hog the wine and make me wait?" Jing Ke gave a long-suffering look and said, "It's Master, isn't it?" Caught mid-drink, Ushi spluttered, her cheeks going redder as she covered her mouth. Jing Ke's look mixed irritation and amusement. "Thought so. Also, If you waste that wine after all the crap you gave me, I will end you."
"How did you know?"
"It's not hard to figure out when you keep looking at him that way.
"How do I look at him?"
"Like you didn't realize something was wrong until seeing him fixed it." Ushi did something between ducking her head and nodding. That was a bit how it felt, sometimes. Jing Ke eyed her and kept probing. "If you know what's going on, why come to me?"
That question had a simple answer, at least. "You're sensible, you can keep a secret, and you have a sufficient supply of alcohol. Excellent qualifications, if you ask me."
"I suppose that makes sense. Second question. What do you see in Master, anyway?"
That was a harder question to answer. Ushi wiped her mouth free of wine and blown grit - damn this place anyway - and shook her head. "From what I've -" she stopped herself from saying 'seen' before she could accidentally reveal that she'd dreamed Ritsuka's past, and went on, "- what I've heard, this modern age is kind. But he has a great deal of tenacity when things go wrong. He's the kind of person who's at his best when he's out of his depth, and that's when one needs to be at one's best, isn't it?"
"True," Jing Ke said, with clear approval. "If Master had been with me in Qin, I'd bet he wouldn't have panicked in the clutch like that pissant Wuyang. Maybe the end of the world's the right setting to show him off."
"But mostly he makes me feel -" Ushi stopped, unsure how to put it into words.
"Horny," Jing Ke supplied.
"No!" Ushi snapped, scandalized.
"Sure he does."Jing Ke scoffed.
"Why did I come to you with this?" This was not how she had imagined this conversation going. "That's not what I'm talking about! Do you really have to bring up such matters when I'm talking about his good qualities?"
Jing Ke laughed. "Making you horny is a good quality in a potential lover. Defining, even."
Grimacing, Ushi said, "That's not what he mostly makes me feel."
"But he does -"
"Gods and devils, yes, all right? Yes. I'm not about to sneak into his room at night and accost him like some snake , but sometimes I want to, I don't know, push him up against a wall and just… see what happens." Past the warmth of the wine, Ushi felt her cheeks heating up; she was perfectly aware those thoughts were inappropriate, even if it sometimes seemed they were shared among a significant portion of Chaldea's Servants. "Does that answer your question?"
Jing Ke's amused look said volumes. "At least you're not in denial about it. Carry on."
"Now I don't even remember where I was," Ushi complained, mostly for complaining's sake.
"Horny."
"Before that!"
"He mostly makes you feel…?" Jing Ke reminded her.
Ushi went with the first word that came to mind. "Safe."
Jing Ke squinted at her, still amused. "You've got all the self-preservation instincts of a wolverine. You'd fight the sun itself if it drew a sword on you. Where does 'safe' come into it?"
Ushi waved her hand dismissively, and the barren world tilted a little around her. "Look, when I said 'safe', I didn't mean safe ," she tried to explain. "Just bear with me."
"Oh, I'm trying."
"I mean…" Ushi caught her balance, forced the world to stop moving, and thought about it - or tried to, at least. The feelings were there, bubbling up to the surface with the headiness of the wine, but the right words were harder to grasp. "I don't think he's going to keep me safe… not safe from violence." She couldn't remember the last time she'd been worried about violence. Well before she'd arrived at Kurama Temple, certainly. "Ritsuka's not going to protect me from being stabbed, that would be ridiculous. But there's worse things than being stabbed, or, or falling off a cliff, not that that would be enough to kill me, ha."
Jing Ke cut off her rambling. "What's he going to save you from, then?"
"I… I don't know." She was already dead. What was there even to save her from , these days? And why did she still feel like she wanted it? And why from him , when it was practically her job to keep him safe these days?
"Well, if you figure it out, let me know. Hey, a quick question."
Distracted by her own thoughts, Ushi just grunted. "Hm?"
Jing Ke gave her a knowing look. "Do you always call Master by his familiar name, or just when you're drunk and talking about his quote 'good qualities' unquote?"
Ushi froze, all thoughts of what kind of safety she was looking for scattered in an instant. "Uh… damn it!" She had called him 'Ritsuka' out loud, hadn't she? She'd thought she could keep that inside her head where it belonged.
"Ahaha!" Jing Ke cackled, rocking back on her seat. "I was so very wrong, Ushiwaka. It was definitely worth letting you share the wine."
Ushi sputtered. "It - it doesn't matter! It would be inappropriate for me to say anything, and he's never acted like he thinks of me as more than a friend."
Jing Ke made a tch sound. "That boy could be crying out for you in his sleep, and he'd never say word one unless you made it clear you wanted him to. Have you seen how he overthinks thing? He probably thinks it'd be unfair to you. He knows if he told you to jump you'd feel bad that you had to come down eventually."
"He's your Master too." Ushi pointed aggressively with the hand holding the bottle, sloshing it around. "We all jump when he says to."
"Careful with the wine!" Jing Ke moved as if to catch it if it should slip out of her grasp - as if she'd be so sloppy. "Ushiwaka, most of us call him 'Master' because we know it's code for 'fragile, handle with care'. You, on the other hand, call him 'my lord'."
"It's the appropriate, what do you call it, mode of address for a samurai's lord!"
"If you say so. But Master isn't the sort who'd want affection he thought was obligatory. He'd want it to be… Hm, what's the right word? 'Honest', maybe?"
That… actually had not occurred to her. Ushi frowned, because it was plausible and troublesome, and also because she really didn't want to admit Jing Ke had a point. "Then what am I to do? I would simply like to know if he has any interest, that's all. Without engaging in some ridiculous competition for his affections." If what she was was not what he wanted, then she wouldn't demean herself scrambling to make up for it. A sword she could be, or a faithful hound, if that's what he needed, but she would not be a lapdog.
"Fawning over him doesn't seem to be winning anyone else points, that's for sure."
Ushi sat down next to her friend and looked out over the empty desert. The chill of the night seemed to seep a little into her. "I am not sure I should even be considering this."
"Why not? I know you weren't the least bit chaste the first time around."
She shook her head slowly. The wine was briefly bitter on her tongue. "When everyone around you comes to a bad end, one after another, it's easy to see what they had in common."
"Yeah. Your brother," Jing Ke said flatly.
"That… That's not…" Ushi stammered. It must have been the wine that prevented her from mustering a response to such a wrongheaded statement. That was the only possible explanation.
"Did I ever tell you about how I died?" Jing Ke asked abruptly.
Coming back to herself. Ushi gave Jing Ke an uncertain look. "I know you nearly killed Shi Huangdi, that's all."
"Hey, don't call him that propagandist horsecrap. Ying Zheng was a little king with big ideas, that's all." Jing Ke scowled as she badmouthed her old nemesis. She plucked the bottle of plum wine out of Ushi's hands and took a long drink. When she was done, she exhaled with satisfaction and turned to look Ushi dead in the eyes. ""Listen. The day I set out to kill that bastard, I swore that until the deed was done, I would exist only for that kill. I gave everything I was over to that oath, my life, my soul. And do you know what happened?"
She didn't give Ushi a second to respond. "I failed! I failed because some overblown court physician threw a satchel at me, can you believe it? Gave the king just enough time to get his sword out. So I bled out there in his throne room, cursing him with every foul name I knew because it was all I could do. That was the last thing I ever saw, and the first thing I remembered when Master summoned me."
The Assassin took another, shorter swig, then went on, biting off each word. "When I realized that the only reason I was remembered at all was because Zheng won , because he got everyone to actually call him Emperor , it nearly killed me all over again. So I swore to myself that my oath still held, that my soul was only for killing. I'd be Master's hidden blade, waiting to strike the head off of whatever serpent he needed brought down."
Jing Ke gave Ushi a dangerous-looking smirk. "If it comes to it, whatever lord or king or Emperor stands in Master's way, they'll be removed, as sure as the sun goes down. But you know…" Her shoulders relaxed. "I've done things here that have nothing to do with a well-placed knife. I've laughed with Master. I've watched him get embarrassed when I offer him a drink. Taught him a little about poetry. I've made friends here. Even if I never get another chance, I can be more than just someone who once came really close to killing a tyrant."
She pushed the bottle back into Ushi's hands with some finality. "And you can be more than just someone who won all your battles and lost everything else."
Ushi didn't respond. Whether it was the wine or her own tumultuous heart, she didn't know what to say. It couldn't be as simple as her friend made it out to be. Could it? "Do you think he's interested?"
Her friend pursed her lips and considered. "It's not impossible. You know that little storytelling session of his you told me about? Our Master could be the kind of person who would reveal something heartfelt and private as a substitute for just flirting like a regular person." She gave Ushi a supportive smile. "Or maybe he just wanted to get it off his chest! I don't know. But never sweat the small stuff, you know? This is only as big an issue as you think it is. You can just let it go if it's not worth it. So, is this important to you, or not?"
"It is. At least to find out." Ushi's response was quiet but immediate. She was a little surprised at how quickly she could answer that one, but she supposed she wouldn't be at such a loss if it weren't important.
The hand at her shoulder squeezed tight. "Well, we might be stuck in this desert for a long time. Maybe even long enough for you to spit it out, and for him to get a hint. You don't have to throw yourself at him, just talk to him. At least then you won't have to wonder anymore."
"...All right. All right, I will." She took a final gulp of wine and let out a sharp breath. Maybe it was just the liquor talking - she was sure hearing it - but right now, it felt like a gamble she was willing to take. A smile crept up over her face. "It might even be fun."
"Flirting is supposed to be fun!" A teasing smile flashed across Jing Ke's face. "If you need any pointers, just ask."
It was Ushi's turn to scoff. "I have managed to flirt before, and quite successfully at that."
Jing Ke chuckled. "That's why I asked. Not to brag, but I am something of a poet, and I heard about your previous efforts, so if you need a hand - "
Ushi gritted her teeth, and the bottle shattered in her clenched fist. "Benkei!"
"No! My wine!"
Author's Note:
I'm not super happy with this chapter - it doesn't flow like I wanted it to - but better to put out a chapter I think is a bit weak than not put one out at all and never get on to the parts I'm more confident in.
After a bit of thought, I adjusted the content ratings. There's at least one point in the future where things will get pretty bloody, but I don't _think_ the violence is going to go far enough to require a Mature rating. Your mileage may vary.
Shukuchi ('reduced earth') is basically a flash-step. Okita Souji's the most prominent user of it in Fate, but a bunch of Servants use it.
The theme for this chapter is 'Will I Find My Home', by Juniper Vale.
Are you worth getting lost over, love?
If I offer myself, will you lift me up?
Are you worth letting into my heart?
If I go and get caught, will I fall too far?