Greetings everyone.

My deepest apologies for such a long break in updates. To be honest, my life is a ruin. I struggle with many things right now, and there are even days when I'm not sure if I want to see another sunrise... Still, I persist in going forward, majorly thanks to my precious friends. I won't name them here, they know I'm talking about them. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, guys.

Since it's an update after a long break, I thought I should address your reviews:

Ian the Mechanic - Well done with the references! And, yes, Gary was phenomenal there.

MamaKanna - Yep, New Vegas it is. :)

InTheLionsDenOnDA - Are they overpowered? Maybe a liiitle bit? But they have quite a long history, and I also made sure that they have a solid background lore.

Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps - More drama, what else? ;P

Fox in the hen house - Weell... You're about 50% right. :P

A Fan - Why did he tell the truth? Because that's what honest men/mammals do. ;)

Guest - Nick vs Volkov? Do we really want to see a fox in a coffin?

Also, thank you so much for all your support and encouragement. I treasure every comment, also the negative ones, that's why I am deeply moved that you wish for me to continue writing.

What's more, since Mr. Pink Plushie has a big role in this chapter, I would like to direct your attention to a fantastic drawing of Volkov, made by talented Koraru-san. You can find her work on DA, along with the mentioned picture of the one-eyed wolf. Please give her your support and enjoy her art.

I also wanted to give my special thanks to TheoreticallyEva for looking over this chapter and pointing out things to fix. I'll be honest, I kind of rushed this publication, so she didn't have the time to help me edit it to the fullest extent of her amazing skills. So, should you find some atrocious grammar, it's not her fault, but mine. And, as I wish to ask everyone, please check out her profile to read her great work. You definitely won't be disappointed. :)

And this is all from me this time. I hope you'll enjoy the chapter.

EDIT: Sorry, I forfot to mention that the music played at the park is inspired by Batzorig Vaanchig and you can find it on YouTube by the name "Mongolian Throat Singing".

Chapter 42

The vixen slammed the door after Volkov.

Nick finally clambered up to his hindpaws and observed his mother's return to the living room. He could tell that she was in the middle of a heroic struggle to not break down with tears. It was heart-wrenching for the fox to watch her in such a state. To him, she was always a model of invincibility and strength of heart, but now she was put to what was quite possibly the most difficult test in her life.

"Mom..." He began with a weak voice, unsure what could he possibly tell her in this situation.

Without sparing him even a glance, Vivian raised a finger, giving him an order to stop talking. She used the other paw to cover her eyes and, due to his enhanced vision, Nick could tell that it was slightly trembling despite the distance between them. He obediently kept his mouth shut, going through possible scenarios in his mind, now that Mr. Pink Plushie forced him into this.

After a few moments of silence and shaky breathing, Vivian finally spoke.

"Why?"

It was just one word but carried enough emotional impact to make the fox weak at the knees. Then she added another blow by lifting her paw and piercing him with a look full of grief and, worse, disappointment.

"Why would you do this, Nicholas?" She demanded in a low voice that didn't leave the tiniest option to dodging the question. "Why would you do... work like that? Why, sweet Mother Nature, why haven't you told me?"

Nick's tongue already felt like it was made of lead, and no sly response managed to miraculously appear in his head. None of his conmammal's tricks could get him off the hook this time. It was just him, his mother, and something he considered one of the most terrifying things in the world.

The truth.

With ears and tail held low in shame, Nick mumbled the only response that came to his mind. "I'm sorry, mother." He looked away.

Vivian threw her arms up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She drew them back and made her paws into fists. "I don't want your apology, Nicholas! I want answers!" She closed the distance between them in a few fast strides and pointed a finger right at his face. "Why have you lied to me for the past fifteen years?" Her voice rose in volume, almost becoming a shout.

"Sixteen." His mouth corrected automatically.

"Shut up!" This time she screamed at her son. "Always excuses, always jokes and deflections, I've had it, Nick! All those years and you haven't bothered to tell me the truth. Bah! You haven't said one word for the past nine! If not for Judy, I would've withered away as an old lady without seeing her own son."

Nick kept his gaze away from the vixen, not confident enough to look her in the eye now. His jaw moved several times in an up-and-down motion before he got the words out. "I... I knew that you'd be disappointed with me if you learned the truth..."

Vivian placed her paws on her hips and kept glaring at him. "Well bravo, imagine how I feel now!"

"I'm sorr-"

Her arms shot forward and she grabbed both sides of his muzzle to force him to look at her. Caught by surprise, Nick could only stare at the hurt reflecting in his mother's eyes.

"For the last time, Nicholas. Stop apologizing, start talking." She spoke with a low voice that went along with the pain and anger in her gaze. "Because I swear, if you don't explain yourself right now..." She paused to bite her lip and shake her head a bit, unable to put the possible consequences into words.

"What would you want me to say?" The fox muttered. "Mother, I'm now a member of a group of assassins?" He reached to her wrists and slowly pulled her paws from his face. "At that time, it was better for you not to know."

"Excuse me?"

Nick stared at her for a moment, gathering the will power to explain himself. He had no choice, as he knew his mother enough to know that she wouldn't let him get away with any cheap excuses.

"I did what I had to do." Nick tried to make his voice strong, but he wasn't convinced about the result. It could have had something to do with the growing migraine. "To earn a living and make sure you're safe."

Vivian folded her arms on her chest. "Oh, so that was for my sake? Good to know that!" she exclaimed with heavy sarcasm.

Within the turmoil of emotions welling up in his heart, Nick started to sense a new one - irritation. His muscles began to tense as this feeling grew in him. It clouded his mind, which normally would warn him that his usually steady emotions were stirring up to dangerous levels.

In effect, Nick also raised his voice. "I had to make a decision, mother! And if I had to choose again, I'd do the same!"

Her eyes widened for a moment at his reaction and, afterwards, narrowed as she glared at him. "You would what?! Am I hearing this right? My own son wants to be a killer!"

Nick clicked his tongue and took a quick step forward, positioning himself mere inches from the vixen. Their slight difference in height allowed the fox to look down on her.

"Is that what you really want to hear?" he snarled right into her face. "That your son is a murderer?!"

This outburst shocked Vivian with both its contents and intensity, and she took half a step back. Nick took one forward, not aware that, with the rising tide of emotions, his eyes turned to savage slits. But he was already past his breaking point and now couldn't stop the flow of emotions that he has blocked for so many years.

"You want answers? I AM a killer! I have blood on my paws, and I've bloodied them to not lose my mother!" He grabbed both her arms, while staring at her with his green, savage eyes. "To not see you die!"

"Wha-" She muttered, the meaning of Nick's words dispersing her own anger, leaving the vixen stupefied. "They threatened to kill me?!" Vivian gasped.

"I may have had no concept of emotions back then, but I had one thought which I was certain of - the fact that you were very important to me." Nick released her and turned around to walk up to an armchair. The fox leaned on the armrest with both paws, hanging his head.

"Do you think I don't know what I did? Or maybe that I'm proud of it?" He strengthened his grip, making the claws sink into the material. The words felt like shattered glass in his throat, cutting him with every syllable, but he knew that it was too late to stop. It was a door that you couldn't leave half open. "I remember every day, every mammal, every time I-" He squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head away. "But the worst is that I remembered what I felt then." Nick slowly turned around and looked Vivian straight in the eye. "Nothing. There was no shred of emotions in me, mother. No guilt, no sorrow, no remorse... Even when I had fresh blood running down my paws." The fox raised his arms as if to demonstrate what he meant. He took a step and then another, towards his parent. "It meant nothing to me then," he kept talking with an increasingly strained voice, "and while I knew it was illegal and considered morally wrong, I've never lost a night's sleep because of it."

Vivian listened to Nick as if in a trance, and didn't move from her spot, even when he approached her with his mutated eyes.

"But… ever since Judy came along and influenced me so much that I started to think back, about what I did..." His paws went up to his head, and he held his fingers on his temples. "I keep waking up screaming, in the middle of the night, because I can't get those pictures out of my head."

Vivian slowly shook her head, as she gazed at her son. "Nicholas... What have they done to you?" she whispered.

Her words caused the fox to cringe with anger, and he took a step back. "Don't you get it?!" he raised his voice again. "I did this to myself!"

Vivian's eyes widened at his reaction.

Seeing her expression, Nick cursed himself in his thoughts. He was doing it again, and couldn't control himself. He already pushed his parent away in the past, and now he was starting to repeat that scenario. "I…" Nick struggled to find his voice again. "All the things that I did… The way I did them…" He was extra careful with his choice of words. "They were all my decisions. Now I know that I could have done them differently."

His mother took a slow step towards him, before placing both her paws on his cheeks. "Nicholas… What on earth are you talking about? Do what?!" She pleaded with him in a low voice.

However, this time his eyes showed determination and resilience. Seeing that, Vivian immediately understood that her son would not yield in this matter. It pierced her heart with numbing pain, both from Nick's reluctance to speak to her about it, and from the torturous images that her imagination conjured up. "Nicky…" Even her voice began to shake.

Nick gazed into her eyes. "Mom…"

This single word sliced her heart open. It contained such overflowing sadness and guilt. He may not have elaborated on the topic, but she already understood the excruciating weight of his thoughts.

The fox officer sighed, as he gently pulled her wrists down. "There are things I might never tell you. I am afraid of them myself." His fingers squeezed her smaller paws. "But I promise you that I am no longer part of that world. I have left it all behind all those years ago."

"My son..." Vivian could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "Please talk to me." She slid one of her paws out of his hold and placed it on his cheek. "I haven't seen you for years, what else your hiding from me?" The vixen's voice was all over the place, as she pleaded with the son she thought she knew.

She would have never anticipated what happened next.

Nick threw his arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry, mother. I am so sorry." He muttered that in voice that struggled with years of withholding emotions. "I love you." His fingers clenched tighter around her dress. "I never wanted you to be ashamed of me."

"Oh, Nicky…", the vixen cried into his shoulder, "I love you, too."

No other words followed, they were unnecessary. Just mother and son in a silent embrace.

.

.

"Thank you…" Vivian said in a calmer, but still weak, voice, when Nick passed her a tissue.

The fox felt a burning hole in his heart, yet it somehow felt better than before. As if a festering wound got cauterized by fire. The process was excruciating… but seemed to be working. Still, he didn't have the luxury to dawdle here for too long. There was a lamb they had to catch. "Mom…" He placed a paw on her shoulder.

She reached up to squeeze it. "I know, you have to go…"

The way she said it sent another painful jab at his heart. He opened his mouth to reply when his phone notified him of a text. The fox fished out the device from his pocket and saw a text.

If you feel like talking, Silent Heights Park, by the gazebo.

V

Nick blocked any response that his face could show in reaction to this message. Instead, he leaned down to rest his muzzle on top of his mother's head. He could feel her flinch slightly from the gesture.

"I do have to go, we got an investigation to finish."

Before she could reply, Nick went on. "However, if you won't decide to disinherit me by then, I hope that we could talk more. I mean, I am not looking forward to it, but I would rather do that than have you thinking that I'm keeping secrets from you." He made a shot pause, during which he bit his lip in thought. "I might not discuss… details, but I will talk."

Her reply didn't come in words but in a nod of her head.

After that, Nick reluctantly had to separate from his mother and head towards the door. Before he could reach them, however, Vivian's voice caught up to him. "Just…" There was a brief silence. "Don't go killing anyone…"

The fox could tell by the tone of her voice that was making a forced attempt at humor. Still, hearing it made him smile softly.

"I'll do my best."

*The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, eh?* He mused as he recognized the tactic of leaning towards humor, whenever things get bad. It was one he often used.

.

.

Nick, as usual, didn't need a map to get to the meeting point. His memory was far superior to any GPS service. Therefore, he quickly entered the park area, and he swiftly passed the entry gate, scanning the area for any trace of his master. It turned out to be easier than he assumed, as the one-eyed wolf was openly sitting on a bench next to one of the paths.

He chose a place close to the rectangular wooden gazebo. A band of musicians was giving a concert there, entertaining a small gathering of mammals. The band consisted of several yaks, performing what was known as throat singing. The actual song had a traditional vibe to it, without mixing it with modern themes, which seemed rather popular in the current music industry.

Volkov was sitting with his eye closed, relaxing to the sounds of morin khuur and the singers' voices. Or so it would seem to regular mammals. However, Nick knew him better than that. Volkov didn't reach such an age in his profession by being incautious. The fox was certain that the elderly wolf was perfectly aware of the tiniest detail in his personal space.

And that certainty was proved right, when Nick got within three meters distance from the wolf. "How's your mother?" Volkov posed the question without opening his eye.

Nick could only let out a sigh as he got closer. "She's angry, what else did you expect?"

At this point the canine predator lifted his eyelid to look at him. "I knew that she would feel hurt, it was inevitable. I simply hope that her suffering will subside as soon as possible."

"So that you could try to charm her again?" Nick inquired while folding his arms on his chest.

"No, Nicholas." This time the wolf sighed. "So that she would accept the truth and not be in pain."

"Should've thought of that before you took off your veil."

"I was talking about you." The wolf's calm reaction made Nick freeze. "Me? She will never forget that I have lied to her." He rested both paws on his cane. "But you? You are her only child, the apple of her eye."

The fox had an answer forming on his tongue, when he paused with his mouth half-open. A moment later Nick shook his head and refocused his gaze on the master of assassins. "Why?" He tried to sound as firm as possible, given the circumstances. "Why did you return? Why did you contact her?"

Volkov gazed at him in silence for a few moments. "I wasn't going to." His gaze swayed towards the singers, and he went quiet for another while. "It was a pure accident that I have met her." The wolf let out another sigh. "She was walking out of the building of the hospital, just when I was walking in, and… You know," he paused to look directly at Nick, "she didn't see me. Which means that I could have simply ignored the fact that I have noticed her, and go on with my life, never again interfering with hers."

Nick listened patiently, not taking his eyes off the wolf.

Volkov's lips twitched, with the corner of his mouth arching upwards, as he gazed somewhere into his memories. "But I couldn't… I simply had no control over myself when I called her name out loud. She has that effect on me. I felt this… this pull. It was something that I can't even explain, as if fate brought us together again. She feels like a piece of my soul that I've been missing all my life. This was out of my control, Nicholas. I simply love her so much."

His eyes returned to the fox's face. "Do you feel the same around Miss Hopps?"

The question hit Nick like stiletto - on point, deep and painful. "She…" To his own shock, he couldn't find air to utter anything more. The surge of his feelings towards Judy swallowed up his heart, embracing it in warmth and comfort. However, his cruel memory shoved one fact right into his face.

Overcoming his own lack of words, Nick refocused his gaze on the wolf. "You said that she's tracing the organization."

Volkov's face gained a more serious expression. "Indeed." And that was it. No details, elaborate explanations… The next move belonged to Nick.

The fox couldn't help clenching his paws, and when he spoke, his voice lost all of his usual charm and confidence. "She's not a threat, she's just one mammal, no-"

"You are aware of the rules, Nicholas." The wolf's voice cut in like sharpened steel.

The fox went pale under his fur, while his savage instincts stirred. Yes, he was very much aware of them. "Master, you can't-"

"Don't presume that you can tell me what I can or can't do, boy." Again, Volkov did not let him speak. "If I deem that there is a threat to my organization, I will remove it."

The way he said those words heated up Nick's blood, and his savage side could not be denied any longer. Ushered by the raging instinct to protect his beloved female, the fox jumped forward, ready to claw the dangerou-

The tip of Volkov's cane hit him on the throat.

Nick gurgled from the force of his own momentum pushing him onto the object, struggling for air. His opponent used that moment to push back enough to knock the vulpine off his feet. The effect was instantaneous. Nick landed on the path, on his back, with the cane pressing down on his throat.

"Your anger is blinding you." Volkov stated without a shred of agitation.

Nick stared at him with savage eyes, his hands reaching up to snap the pestering piece of wood. Fraction of a second later he let out a mixture of a gasp and whine, when the wolf pressed the cane harder. "We are in public, control yourself." The elderly predator reprimanded the fox.

That thought managed to break through the savage cloud shrouding Nick's mind. The earlier rage was replaced by fear of being recognized as a savage mammal. The fox turned his head frantically, or at least he tried, as Volkov's cane kept him pinned down. Nick looked up, locking gazes with the one-eyed predator.

The wolf returned the gaze, maintaining the patience and expression of a rock. Still, he nodded and released the fox. "Calm down, breathe. You are fine." As he was saying that, Nick's savage eyes were slowly shifting back to their neutral state. "Yes, very good, keep breathing."

The fox did as he was told, his memory welcoming back the instructive tone of voice he knew so well from the past he hoped to bury. Still, it did its job and helped him regain control of his body. It is said that old habits die hard, and his personal one, about obeying the wolf's voice, was deeply engraved into his mind. As the fox sat up, he did a quick assessment of the surroundings, part of him expecting patrol cars or an ambulance, reading to take him down as a dangerous savage. In spite of his dark assumptions, nothing seem out of ordinary. The music was still being played and there were no fingers pointing at them from the audience. Now that he thought about it, this part of the park rather lacked in visitors.

*Wait… He couldn't have-* Nick's eyes darted back to the wolf gentlemammal on the bench.

"Feel like talking now?" Volkov replied to his surprised gaze with an encouraging smile.

The fox gave up. He was played again.

Not only the master of assassins pick a spot that had very few mammals present, it was also a place close to a band that sufficiently distracted the little number of passersby.

Picking himself off the alley's dust, Nick massaged the sore spot on his throat with one paw. "You've proven your point," said the hurt mammal, "what's your goal, master?"

This time Volkov took his time with the answer, looking into Nick's eyes as the seconds passed by. "Your strength has made you weak." He finally spoke. "Savagery has consumed you."

"Uh…" The fox actually leaned away a bit from the wolf. Nick recoiled from that statement for two reasons. One was the undeniable fact that, even with his savage side awakened, he was beaten in no time. The other was the familiar feeling of getting scolded by Volkov.

"Do sit down, Nicholas." The one-eyed predator indicated the space next to him.

Hesitation was Nick's first reaction, but then he regained his composure and got close enough to sit next to the wolf.

"How are you doing, boy?"

From all the things that could happen, this question wasn't high on Nick's list of possible events. He even shot sideways gaze towards Volkov, as if making sure that the mammal wasn't joking.

"Don't give me that look. We haven't seen each other for so long, it's only natural to be curious."

"I never thought we would meet again." Suddenly, the dirt on the path became mighty interesting for Nick's eyes. "Not after that day…"

Volkov nodded. "I see."

*Of course… * It was an answer typical for his former master. "Just…" Nick began, searching for proper words to convey his galloping thoughts. "What do you want?"

The wolf raised a brow. "From you? Nothing." He leaned back on the bench, holding the cane in his paws. "What do you want from me?"

Nick's jaw dropped before he could prevent his muscles from allowing that. He immediately shut it back, trying to regain his dignity.

A million thoughts was rampaging in his mind, yet one instantly found the way to his tongue.

"Don't hurt Judy."

Volkov shook his head. "That's up to her."

Nick's fists clenched again. His blood began reaching a boiling point once more, but that's when the tip of the cane tapped him on the knee.

"Temper."

The fox grit his teeth, while his lip curled up, revealing his fangs. The serum altered muscles began flexing under the russet fur.

Volkov burst out with laughter. The grayish wolf held one paw on his chest, as he was trembling from the merry mood.

Nick's tension evaporated in an instant, replaced with confusion at the sudden turn of events.

"Really!" The wolf said, once he calmed down a bit. "Of all the things the Nicholas Wilde could ask, he pleads for the safety of his mate."

Nick immediately replied. "She's not my-"

"Why not?"

"...What?"

Volkov focused a serious gaze on the fox. "You know who I am, you know the rules, and yet", the wolf waved a paw, "you come before me to ask for sparing a certain female. Why is that?" Volkov leaned slightly towards Nick. "Who is she to you that you will risk so much for her, when she's not your mate?"

The fox kept his mouth tightly shut, eventually turning his head away. "She's my friend…"

"One can do a lot for friends, but you have launched yourself at a trained killer in your mother's home, and now came to ask for that rabbit's safety. Therefore, my question is, how far are you willing to go for her?"

*All the way.* The thought materialized in his mind almost instantly. He couldn't imagine not helping Judy or protecting her from harm.

Nick shot a brief glance at the wolf.

Even if said harm would come to him.

"She's my friend and partner," the fox's voice steadily gained in confidence, "I will do what I can to support her."

Volkov clicked his tongue with a shake of his head. "How stubborn you can be." He eyed the fox intensely for a moment. "Nicholas, when will you stop repeating such a cliché? 'We're just friends'." He mocked. "And here I thought that you have grown up." The wolf actually scolded Nick with a rather harsh voice.

In fact, the fox hung his head, laying his ears low, while his eyes studied the dirt on the ground. Then he felt a paw on his shoulder.

"Nicholas…" Volkov's voice became much softer. "I may have one eye, but even I can see that you love this girl."

The fox clenched a paw on his knee." She… she is special." He kept his eyes staring at the nothingness in the dirt below. "I've never met anyone like her, master…" Nick muttered.

Volkov's ears slightly flicked at the vulpine's voice, and he remained silent.

"She can see me. She can see right through me. And she's not afraid of it. On the contrary," he slowly shook his head, "the more she knows, the more she asks. And… And I don't mind. For the first time in my life I feel like truly opening to someone." Nick let out a short sigh. "It just feels… natural, to talk to her, to be around her. All the fears I had about talking to others, she's just leaping over them. She's just…" He searched for a word that could properly describe his feelings. "So soothing…"

His mind was somewhat on autopilot, trained to speak freely around Volkov. Maybe it was the commanding aura that the wolf always had around him, or the calm, analytical approach. The wolf never judged anyone for their words, until he would hear all the reasoning behind them. Nick never talked about this with anyone, or hasn't been caught admitting it, but all those years ago, Volkov's attitude was one that he has admired. He saw how calm, yet sharp the wolf could be, and secretly held an ambition to be like him.

Beside him, said wolf smiled warmly and patted him on the shoulder. "Nick, my boy, you have found yourself a very special soul mate."

Those words made Nick freeze. "Special…"

"See, for every mammal out there, regardless of their character, there is one, who understands them on a level unattainable for others." The wolf surrounded Nick's shoulders with his arm. "Someone, who will feel to you like a breeze of fresh air every time you talk to them, a short conversation will overturn any bad mood, and you will feel it in your heart that you wish to help them smile. That, Nicholas, is your natural soul mate."

"Natural…" Nick parroted, with a frown of someone sailing uncharted waters.

The wolf tapped the fox on the chest with his cane holding paw. "Take good care of her, Nicholas."

Amidst the confusion, the vulpine officer blinked, right before snapping his head to Volkov. "She already has a boyfri-"

"You can be friends." The wolf interjected, and shrugged right after. "Or something more. It is never set in stone, but you need to answer this question by yourself."

"I…" Nick sent the elderly predator a blank gaze. *What exactly do I want? Do I want Judy? Hell yes, but… There is something…*

He imagined the smiling face of his partner in the force. The fox had a brief thought that maybe she would miraculously tell him the right answer. But she was simply looking at him, with those merry, trusting eyes, and a smile that- Then it dawned on him, and when it did, he was actually embarrassed by how simple the answer actually was.

Volkov observed how focus returned to the fox's gaze, and how he visibly relaxed.

"I just want her to be happy." Nick declared in a clear voice.

His master's smile widened. "And there you have it, a great foundation."

"Really…" The fox lowered his brows, watching the elderly wolf, whom anyone could mistake for a good uncle, save for the scars on his face.. "You're the last person I would expect to hear love advice from." Nick even dared to sport a smirk.

"Ah, love… Both cruel and generous mistress." Volkov leaned back on the bench. "Nothing in this world can soothe, or hurt, as much as she can."

Those words actually made Nick's ears sink a bit. *Shoot...Wrong timing.* He returned his gaze to the dirt path. "I'm sorry…"

After a moment of silence, the fox felt a paw on his shoulder. "No need, my boy. It was inevitable, given who I am." The wolf let out the slightest suggestion of a sigh. "Dum spiro, spero."

Memory files fluttered in Nick's head."While I breathe, I hope?"

This made Volkov show a little smile. "Good, your memory is serving you well."

However, Nick didn't share his enthusiasm. "But, master… I don't mean to discourage you, still-"

The canine predator raised a paw. "I am well aware of the chances, Nicholas. But it has to be this way. I have done too much evil to your mother, to be simply forgiven. I can consider this my personal purgatory."

Evil.

That word stuck in Nick's head. It reverberated in his mind as images from his dreams of his past life.

The prison. Evil.

The precinct Seven. Evil.

Snowflake… Evil.

The fox shook his head in a hopeless attempt to rid his thoughts of those images. They would always be there, endlessly haunting him, clinging to his mind. Amongst the flickers of his past, Nick suddenly had a new thought, which made him look up at Volkov.

"How do you sleep, master?"

This clearly wasn't a question the wolf could have anticipated. He simply froze for an instant, before returning a slightly perplexed gaze. "I sleep quite soundly, but I am most intrigued where did this come from?"

Nick remained silent for a while, struggling to unveil his fears. Eventually, he took a deep breath.

Then, another one and, just to be sure, a couple more.

"I'm… having nightmares." He muttered, part of him hoping that Volkov didn't hear him.

"Nightmares…" The wolf crushed his hopes, with a thoughtful voice. Again, leaving silence for Nick to fill it.

The tormented fox squeezed his eyes shut. "I keep seeing them, from all those years ago… Their faces, the plans…" That was the best he could manage, while mentioned images popped up in his head.

"And you are rejecting them." The wolf said, forming a statement, and a question, with one sentence.

Nick mentally clicked his tongue. Talking to his master has always been like this. Start a topic, only to find yourself being drawn into filling in the silence.

"I'm not rejecting anything…" He mumbled a reply. "I know what I did."

"Have you faced it?"

Nick frowned. "What?"

This time Volkov let out a sigh. "Nicholas, have you ever accepted your own deeds?"

At first, the fox couldn't exactly believe what his master has said. But, after a few seconds, he could feel his fur the bristling. "Accepted?Accepted?! What I did was monstrous and unforgivable! How can I ever be at peace with that?!"

Volkov didn't even bat an eye at the vulpine's outburst. "What's done is done, my boy." He fixed Nick a patient gaze. "Accepting does not mean being proud of it. It's coming to terms with the fact that the past can't be changed."

"I know that 'what's done is done' ." Nick swung his paw in an agitated move. "But my past is destroying my present."

"Then stop running from it!" Volkov snapped in a commanding voice.

This actually made Nick recoil a little from the wolf.

"Your present is based upon your past. However, should you choose to ignore your own foundation, how can the rest of you hold on?"

The fox's only answer was a slightly agape muzzle.

The elderly predator shook his head. "Nicholas, if you wish to move on, you have to stop running from it."

Every part of the fox sagged, as if running out of batteries. Even his brain couldn't cough up any sparky remarks. At the same time, he could feel a deeply engraved desire, so well hidden behind the piles of guilt, to truly change. To be able to drop the curtain on that chapter of his life and walk forward.

"What… What can I do?" Nick muttered weakly.

His question was rewarded with an approving, even if subtle, smile from his master. "Face your fears, Nicholas. Look the consequences of your actions straight in the eye, and acknowledge that it was done by your paw. Do not dodge any guilt or pain." Volkov placed a reassuring paw on his pupil's shoulder. "It will hurt, but will also help you." The wolf patted him a few times, before he stood up from the bench.

"I wish we could talk more, but I have more arrangements for today."

Nick blinked, dragging his mind out of the gutter. "Y-Yes, of course." He got to his hindpaws as well. Originating more from a trained repertoire of gestures, rather than common sense, the fox raised his right paw to offer it to Volkov.

The wolf hesitated, even if just briefly, but accepted the offered paw, giving it a firm pawshake.

"Stay safe, Nicholas. And do take care of your precious partner and your mother."

"I'll try to remember." The fox allowed himself a little joke, showing a ghost of a smile. With that said, he nodded to the wolf, turning around to leave.

However, as he started walking away, Nick turned his head towards Volkov one more time. He opened his mouth to speak but changed his mind. Instead of his words, Nicholas looked at the wolf one more time. And looking into that calm, experienced eye, Nick decided to change what he wanted to say.

"Thank you, father."

His words made the elderly predator to raise his brows in a gesture of genuine surprise. After the initial shock dispersed, his features relaxed into an almost warm expression, and he replied with a soft voice. "My pleasure, my son."