Hello everyone.
A new chapter is here. It was actually done earlier, but I have spent quite some time on editing it. Still, I would say it's good news, as it means that I am capable of producing new chapters faster than before. Hopefully this trend will continue, as I am already working on the next chapter.
Logistics aside, just wanted to let you know that while the last chapter was quite heavy, and now we'll be dealing with the aftermath, there's some light in front of us. There will be lighter content in the upcoming chapters, plus the promised special chapter.
I hope to see you soon there and that you will enjoy it.
Best of wishes to everyone and let's dive into the story.
Chapter 51
A lot of things happened very quickly after Nick and Jackie arrived at precinct one with their prisoner.
For starters, William got locked up in one of the cells. Of course, first he received necessary medical care and sat quietly on a bench, wrapped in bandages. Since the time of their arrival was very late, it has been decided that the bunny will stay locked up until morning, when Bogo will give his judgement as to how best approach this case.
Nick was adamant about escorting him all the way until the metal bars slammed after the buck. Even after that, Jackie almost had to drag him back to the corridor.
With Will out of sight, Nick slowly slumped against the closest wall. He practically gave off an impression of a deflating car tire.
"Hey, hey," Jackie slapped him on the shoulder, "don't even think about sleeping here. Don't you have a bed?"
The fox somewhat straightened up. "I'm not sleeping. Just…" He went quiet. His eyes were staring somewhere beyond the precinct's walls.
The pause stretched long enough for the cheetah to give him a worrying gaze. She was about to reach out to him, when he turned his head towards her.
"What do I do now?" Nick asked from behind a clouded gaze.
"What?" Jackie blinked. "What do you mean?"
"He's locked up. He's caught and exposed," Nick muttered. "There's nothing more for me to do."
The cheetah looked at his confused form. It was saddening to see him so broken. A cheerful, smiling fox now brought down to a mere shell of his former self. Part of her wanted to just give him a hug and reassure that everything will be all right. But she knew that it wouldn't exactly work…
On the other paw, there was someone else who could do that for him. However, it also wasn't possible right now. But there was something else that could be done.
"Go home."
Nick frowned. "Huh?"
"Go home, Nick," Jackie repeated tapping him on the forehead. "Go see your mom and Judy. Nature knows that she needs it. She needs you." A few weeks ago, she wouldn't imagine saying this, but they've all been through a lot. And she could see, clear as day, just how deeply Nick cared for her. Heck, he kidnapped and tortured someone for her. If that didn't mean commitment, she had no idea what did.
Nick stared at her for a moment before casting his gaze down. "She hates me… I have no right to see her."
Jackie opened her mouth, but stopped herself from speaking at the last moment. Instead, she gave it a bit of a think. "Well, yeah. I'm sure she's still pissed at you. After all, you lied to her big time."
The fox deflated even further.
"But, so what? That's it? You're giving up just like that?" She slapped his arm, making him jolt. "Wake up, dammit!"
He raised his head in surprise.
Jackie leaned in towards him. "If you really love her, why don't you prove that, huh?! You've screwed up, big deal!" She stabbed him in the chest with a finger. "Make it up to her twice, no, ten times over. That's how relationships work, you dumb fox. You fight, you talk, you make up."
Nick stared at her, apparently processing her words. "But… How? What do I tell her?"
The cheetah ran a paw down her face. "Ugh… How can you be smart and dumb at the same- Whatever. I don't know." She shrugged. "Nobody knows. Just go." Jackie grabbed the fox by the shoulders and spun him towards the exit. "See her. Talk to her." She gave him a push.
He stumbled for a few steps before regaining his balance.
She was glad that he wasn't facing her, as with that push she winced from the pain that radiated from her shoulders. Her wounds were far from healed and all that banging on the metal bars definitely didn't do her any good.
Nick took an uncertain step forward and stopped. He slowly turned his head back to Jackie. "Uh… I'm going." With those words he headed for the main entrance.
She sighed, "Seriously, where did that smooth talker disappear?"
.
.
Vivian was doing her best to find a distraction. A book, internet, social media, crosswords… She was desperate to keep her brain occupied with anything, instead of sitting and counting every passing nanosecond. It was pure torture to simply sit and do nothing while her mind crafted scenarios of what could be happening to Nick. Her more rational side reasoned that she wasn't doing nothing.
Vivian looked up from her spot to the curled up form on the bed. The vixen was sitting on an armchair in her bedroom, watching over the sleeping bunny. She wanted to be here for her. If only to give her a feeling of security that someone she knew was beside her.
Vivian's phone vibrated.
The vixen practically jumped in her seat. Her paws scrambled to grab the device even sooner than immediately.
It was Volkov's number calling.
Her heart almost burst in her chest. She ran out of the room as quietly as possible and tapped the green icon.
"Hello?" Her voice was almost a whisper.
"He's fine. We found him."
She could feel the tension that's been gripping her insides evaporate in an instant. Her boy was safe. However, there was one more thing. Vivian leaned against the wall. "Where is he?"
"He went to the precinct together with Miss Jacqueline to tie some loose ends," Volkov replied smoothly. "If you wish to talk to him, he should be reachable via phone now."
Vivian let out a breath of relief. "Th-" She bit her tongue. Even a normal expression of gratitude just didn't sit well with her right now. At least not towards this wolf. "That's good to hear."
Even if the wolf noticed her stumble, he gave no sign of it. "I am glad we could be of service," he replied with warmth in his voice.
The vixen was at a loss. Part of her felt grateful to him for being successful. However, it did not change the fact who he was, or what he had done to her and Nicholas. "Never call me again," she muttered before ending the call and throwing her phone on the couch. Vivian covered her eyes with a paw, taking her time to take several deep breaths. Afterwards, she sat down to lean back on the armchair. Her heart was slowly regaining the normal rhythm.
.
.
Judy jumped up like a spring, the skin under her fur sticky with sweat. She was gasping for air. It took her several seconds to realize she was awake. Her paws scrambled to her chest and stomach. Instead of a cut shirt she felt soft material. She was wearing oversized pajamas, and someone rolled up its sleeves to compensate for the difference in arm length.
With droopy ears and panicked expression, the doe risked a glance around her. Her mind was drawing a blank regarding her whereabouts. She was in a bedroom. Judging from the size of the furniture it most likely belonged to a mammal larger than her.
At least not a bunny.
That sudden thought made her shiver. She decided to switch back to observing the room. Almost immediately her eyes fell upon an armchair that sat in the corner. There was a book on the seat. The doe squinted her eyes to try and make out the tile.
"Judy!" A yell yanked her away from that train of thought.
Vivian was standing in the door to the room and she immediately rushed to her side. The vixen sat down on the bed, reaching out to hold the doe's paw. "How are you feeling?"
Part of Judy's brain wanted to recoil from this sudden contact, but the majority of her actually felt relieved. Seeing the vixen reminded her how she got to her place. And the worried expression on the female's face made her feel a spark of warmth inside.
"I think I'm a little better, thank you," she replied, trying to muster at least a little smile.
Vivian noticed it right away. "Oh, sweetie…" She petted the doe's paw. "Please don't feel like you have to force anything with me. It's perfectly fine to do or say anything you need expressing."
Judy simply lowered her gaze. "Okay… Sorry."
Vivian squeezed her paw gently. Internally, the vixen was fuming with rage. To see the energetic, positive bunny brought down to this state… If she were to get her paws on the mammal who did this-
Her phone pinged a notification.
Vivian took it out from her pocket to spare it a brief glance. It was a message. Her face scrunched up a bit in thought after reading it. Eventually, she addressed the bunny again. "Judy… Please don't feel alarmed, but I just got a text from Nick."
The doe's ears flinched and she slowly raised her gaze. The amethyst eyes were filled with… Vivian couldn't be perfectly certain, but she definitely saw a mix of fear and hurt.
"He's…" Vivian hesitated. "He said he is coming here."
Judy froze.
She bolted for the door.
"Judy!" Vivian jumped to her feet, but she was no match for a bunny in speed.
In a blink of an eye the doe was already out the main door.
.
.
Marcus picked up almost immediately after hearing the ringtone. "Yeah?"
"Hey, sorry for not calling earlier," Jackie announced to the tiger. "We found Nick, and… stopped him from doing something stupid."
Marcus let out a breath of relief. "Mrs Wilde will be glad to hear that." He was sitting in the patrol car in front of Vivian's apartment block. "Though I can only imagine what happened."
"That's…",Jackie couldn't hide the hesitation in her voice. "Would you believe it if I were to say that I'd rather not remember this night?"
Marcus didn't have any trouble believing it. The things he experienced in his previous… career were enough for him to sympathize with his fellow officer. "I understand. Still, if you ever need to get it off your chest, like over a drink… Feel free to give me a call."
This caused the cheetah to smile a little. "Well, thanks. I'll keep that in mind."
"You're welcome." He looked in the side mirror to take a quick look of the street behind him. In that very moment, his eyes missed the little blur that bolted out of Vivian's apartment building.
.
.
Judy was running.
Her paws were slipping on the snow, the cold biting through the thin pajamas. She had no goal or target. Her body propelled her forward the moment she heard about Nick.
No.
She beelined towards a smaller alley to avoid the main streets.
I can't see him.
The doe barely registered new tears on her cheeks. She had to get away as far as possible.
I don't know what to do.
Judy slipped and barely stayed on her feet, helping herself by leaning on the alley's wall. The doe looked briefly around and headed towards a street. She felt a lot of things right now. Confusion was reigning supreme in her mind, but it did leave a spot for fear.
There were very few things that truly scared her. But now she was afraid of the uncertainty of her future. Where should she go? Could she go back to her job? Will Nick be angry at her for not believing him? Should she not forgive him for lying to her about his condition? How…
Panting, she stopped on a sidewalk.
How can she get her life back?
She simply stood there, ears drooping, and gradually getting covered with snow.
"You look awfully lost, Miss Hopps." A voice nearby made her blink, breaking the daze.
Judy turned her head to see a car that stopped next to her. The door was open and a familiar face was smiling at her from the back seat.
"It's rather cold, why don't you join me here?" Volkov pointed at the spare space next to him with his paw.
.
.
Nick stood in front of the door to his mother's apartment. He still felt a bit numb, though he estimated that he got most of his mind back. The mere thought of diving back into that state was sending a chill down his spine. After all these years, he sincerely hoped that The Scriptwriter was buried for good. How wrong he was…
Nick shook his head, desperate to convince himself that he won't let it happen again.
Yeah? And what if something else were to happen to Judy? Or mother?
The fox clenched his fists. *Never again. I will never again go back to being that mammal.* Additionally, the thought of the bunny reminded him what could await him on the other side of the door. His nose could feel Judy's scent in the air so clearly that it seemed like he could touch it. It was fresh. His bunny had to be here.
Taking a deep breath to calm himself a bit, Nick knocked on the door.
His ears almost immediately picked up the sound of footsteps inside the apartment. A moment later the door swung open, revealing a concerned, yet hopeful face.
Nick had no idea what to say. So he said the simplest thing that came to mind. "Mom. I'm home."
The vixen stood completely still for a second, before jumping to wrap her arms around his neck in a hug.
He staggered a little from the sudden assault, but he easily steadied himself. The fox was at a loss how to react at first, but after a few moments his own arms gently wrapped around his mother's back in a hug.
"I'm sorry," he muttered.
She squeezed her arms tighter. "Do you even realize how scared I was?"
It struck him how fragile her voice sounded. Almost like a porcelain vase that was on the verge of breaking. He also, very carefully, hugged her closer.
They stood like that for a few moments, before Vivian suddenly pulled away to look at him. "Have you seen Judy?" she asked with surprising urgency.
He raised his brows. "Judy? No, I just got here."
Her eyes widened. " Go!" The vixen grabbed his arms and forcefully turned him around, pushing him towards the stairs. "She just ran outside, go find her!"
"What?!"
"No time, just run after her!" Vivian pushed him.
It took only a moment for the fox's confusion to be overtaken by instincts. His beloved bunny was missing and he needed to find her. Paws finally got the message and he sped towards the stairs.
.
.
Judy simply stared at the scarred face.
"I assure you that I have no hidden agenda here. You can question me all you want inside the car where it's warm and dry." He indicated her bare feet on the snow covered pavement.
Part of her didn't believe him. Part of her was convinced that he was scheming something. Another part wanted to tell him off. However, all of her wanted to sit in the warm interior.
She cautiously entered the car, sitting as far from the wolf as possible. The doe considered for a moment if she shouldn't leave the door open.
He noticed the hesitation. "Please, you are not a prisoner, but a guest. You can leave whenever you wish."
Judy eyed him one more time. Eventually, her paw reached out and closed the door.
The wolf approved her actions with a small smile. "I am glad we seem to be reaching an understanding."
"What are you doing here?"
He shrugged, "Pure coincidence. We were passing by, on our way home from a meeting."
Her mind categorized that response as 'highly suspicious'.
"What do you want?" She muttered.
He eyed her for a moment before responding. "I simply wonder what happened, for you to stand in the snow in your pajamas. See, I am aware of what has transpired between you and a certain buck."
Upon hearing this, Judy's fingers clenched into fists on her knees. Her paw shot towards the door.
"Nicholas went missing."
Those words made her stop. She glanced at the wolf over her shoulder.
His gaze felt heavy on her. "When Vivian learned of your predicament, she wanted to get him home to reconcile with you. However, once that boy heard about what happened… I am afraid that he snapped."
Judy's ears perked up, though she remained silent. Her arm was still frozen in midair.
"He disappeared, and Vivian tasked me with locating him." Volkov shuffled his legs, so that one rested on another. "And we did find him. He's probably on his way to his mother's apartment."
Judy lowered her paw.
The wolf was observing her carefully. "I do not know any details, but I've been made to understand that you two had a fight."
Still no response.
"It is none of my business what was the cause or what exactly happened between you two, but… Can I convince you to talk with him?"
This made her look at him directly. "What?"
Volkov allowed himself a miniscule smile. "Miss Hopps, your partner cares a lot about you, as I'm sure you have noticed."
"You know nothing." This came practically as a growl. "Stop butting into other mammals' lives."
His demeanor remained calm. "It is not my intention to tell you what to do. I can merely give advice. Whether you decide to follow it," he shrugged, "that is up to you."
She glared at the wolf for several long moments before speaking. "What's your goal in this?"
Volkov stared directly in her eye. "I love Vivian," he said quietly. "And Nicholas is like a son to me. I do not need a reason to make them happy-"
"And I'm just a tool for that?" she snapped at him.
He shook his head in response. "When it comes to you, it is true that we are not friends or even business partners. However, I firmly believe that no female deserves to live with the weight of what you have experienced." He gave her a small nod. "I will say it again, please consider talking to Nicholas. I am certain that, in the long run, this could benefit you greatly."
Judy kept still through his speech. It surprised her how straightforward he's been with his answer. Also, she remembered the atmosphere in the air between him and Vivian from that evening. It was difficult to pass his words as a complete fabrication. Still…
"Nick lied to me." She turned her gaze to the window. "I have no way of believing him anymore, so talking is pointless."
Volkov simply put his head on the side a bit. "Is that so? I am sorry to hear that. All I can say is that it couldn't hurt to listen to what he would have to say about his reasons. After all-"
"I don't care about his reasons!" Judy exclaimed.
This caused him to pause for a moment. However, after a few seconds he continued. "Did you know that after I told him that you're investigating my organization that boy practically begged for me to spare you?" Volkov saw the doe turning her head to face him. "No need to give me that look. Nicholas knows that I will not stand for anything that might threaten my mammals, and he practically assaulted me in an attempt to protect you."
He observed how the bunny processed this information.
"It is his fault to lie to you. He must atone for that. But please keep in mind that he cares about you more than you think."
"And I'd say that this fella right there looks a lot like him," said a familiar voice from the driver's seat. An old coyote pointed to the front.
Right there, they could see a figure of a red fox rushing along the sidewalk, his head almost spinning in an attempt to cover as much ground as possible with his eyes.
Judy's heart pounded harder in her chest while her ears dropped.
"Well?" Volkov asked in a soft voice. "Should we give you a lift somewhere?" He leaned a little bit towards her. "Or is this your stop?"
Judy stared at the panicked figure through the windshield. His anxiety was clearly visible in his body language, on his face. She sat with eyes glued to the fox, and her paws grasping her knees.
"Miss Judy," Volkov said softly, "what would you like to do?"
Judy finally peeled her gaze off the slowly approaching fox and looked at Volkov.
.
.
Nick frantically relied on all of his senses to find even a trace of Judy. So far he followed the remains of her scent lingering in the air. Scrambling through the alleys, the fox dreaded the mere concept of what could have happened to her.
*Where is she? Where is she?!* He thought as his eyes tried to look in all directions at the same time.
Just as he was about to descend into another series of dark thoughts, a small figure came to his attention in front of him.
Judy Hoops was standing in the middle of the snow covered sidewalk. She was looking straight at him.
His heart pounded faster and he rushed forward in a surge of joy, only to slow down when he recalled the reason she ran away. This made him stop some distance away from her and he simply stared at her with guilt riddled eyes. His ears lay flat on his head as he cleared his throat to speak. "Hey…"
She did not reply.
He cursed himself internally, at the same time struggling to decipher her blank expression. The fox feared that one thing, just one wrong step or word might cause her to flee. Whatever he was going to do now, would most likely be his only shot at fixing the mess he has wrought. However, looking at those amethyst bunny eyes, he already knew that he would even rip his beating heart out if that's what it would take to mend their bond.
"Judy…" His jaw resisted what he was about to do, but he would be damned if he were to let it stop him. "You are angry, disappointed…and rightfully so."
Nick did all he could to steady his voice. "Yes, I've lied to you. Many times, in fact. You have all the right to hate me for it." He dared to take a step forward with his heart hammering in his chest. "I was thinking…" he swallowed dryly. "I was thinking what could I possibly say to you if we were to talk. What kind of explanation would be the right one?" Nick could feel his breath quickening, as he stared at the silent bunny. He grit his teeth. "But now I know… I know that there is none. Nothing I will say is going to take back what I have done."
The fox took another small step.
Judy did not move or respond.
"All I can say," his voice began to quiver a little, "is that I'm sorry. I'm so terribly sorry, Judy. I was a coward. I should've trusted you from the beginning and just- just say something, anything!" Nick slowly shook his head. He was so focused on the female before him that he didn't even notice tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "And…" His throat clenched, the last ditch effort of his body to prevent further conversation. "I will not question your decision, should you decide to…" he couldn't stop his voice from trembling a little at this point. "Decide to never see me again." Nick could feel how his body shivered at the thought.
There was still no response from the doe.
"Just…" Nick collapsed to his knees. "Please," his voice dropped to a pleading tune, "go back to my mother's house. She'll take care of you." Tiny droplets began forming in his eyes. "If, by any chance, you would… you would feel that you could talk to me…" The tears began flowing. "I would be overjoyed." His lips hopelessly tried to muster a smile. "But if not…" Nick could feel a blade prickling at his heart. "Then I promise to… to disappear from your life. I will not be a burden to you."
The doe observed him cautiously.
The fox's voice grew even weaker. "Only… Please, I'm begging you… My mother can help." He placed both paws on his chest. "I'll do whatever you wish, whatever you demand… Just… Please take care of yourself and let others help." At this point his voice broke and he simply stared at the female who owned his heart.
Judy only stared at him. At the weak, helpless predator who pleaded for her return. Her eyes watched his hunched figure, his face contorted with guilt and sadness. After a long internal deliberation, Judy Hopps made a decision.
Nick saw how the bunny made a step towards him, then another.
He blinked.
She was slowly walking in his direction.
His first, instinctive reaction was to jump forward and wrap her in a hug, but he knew that he couldn't do that. Instead, the fox forced his body to stay put and passively observe what the bunny would do.
In a couple more steps, Judy was right in front of him. Puffs of warm air were escaping from her half open mouth. "I can't forget what you did," she said in a bland voice. "I've given you too many chances to be honest with me."
Nick grit his teeth hearing this and hung his head.
"But… I am willing to learn how to forgive."
His ears twitched, and he slowly raised his eyes. "W-what?"
Judy grabbed her arm with one paw. "Look… My head understands that you might have had your… reasons to do it. But, emotionally… I'm still angry and disappointed with you." She gave him a look filled with judgment.
He quickly wiped his facial fur with his arm. "I know. I deserve it."
They stared at each other in silence, before Judy shivered, and she was forced to rub her arms. "Can we go back now? I'm really starting to feel cold."
Nick's ears shot up. "Yes!" He jumped to his feet as if his legs were made of springs. Then, he hesitated looking at the trembling bunny.
She noticed his pause. "What's wrong?"
"Um…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I rushed out without taking any coat or anything, sorry. All I could offer is my shirt…"
This actually made her smile a tiny bit. "Let's not make a commotion with a naked fox in the middle of a street."
He showed a little smile in return. "I'll take that as a compliment."
Judy looked at the fox with a familiar comfort rising in her heart. It was one of the reasons she decided it was worth trying to forgive him. She got closer to him and rested her forehead on his chest. "You never change," she muttered, more to herself, than him.
Nick was too surprised by her move to reply in any capacity. Actually, he was more concerned about what he should do. His arms were itching to embrace the bunny in a hug, but he absolutely forbade them from moving. The knowledge of what she went through was burning bright in his mind, and he would sooner break his own limbs, than force his paws on her. However…
He glanced at the small, shivering figure.
"Uh, Judy… I know I will sound rude, and feel free to kick me or whatever, but…" he paused as she straightened up to look at him. "I can see that you're cold, and if you'd be okay with it… would you like me to carry you back to my mom's place?" He shot her an uncertain look.
Judy blinked, surprised with his offer. Her first impulse was to decline. An image of Will immediately came to mind when thinking about such closeness with a male. But…
She glanced at his worried expression.
This wasn't just any male. It was Nick. Her Nick. Even with all that has happened between them, he has never given her a reason to be afraid of him as a female. She clenched her fist.
"You're asking a bunny if she would like to be in the paws of a savage fox?"
His ears flattened against the back of his head. "Ah, right… Sorry. I kinda, hah, forgot about that part." He even blushed when he realized his own blunder. "You know, that was really dumb of me to suggest this. Let's head back or you'll catch a-"
"We can try."
Nick froze. "H-huh?"
Judy let out a sigh. "I'm cold, Nick. If you promise not to bite, then… I think I can take the risk."
His face brightened up like a rising sun. "I swear on my mother's life!"
She couldn't stop herself from smiling internally at the joy that radiated from his face, no, his whole body. He looked like a little boy who got a Christmas gift. She let her arms down by her sides. "Okay. But don't get any ideas." She shot him a warning glare. "You'll get your sermon and an interrogation someplace warm."
Nick could feel his heart hammering within his chest. He nodded and slowly leaned down to Judy. "Then, if you'll excuse me." The fox scooped her up in his arms with great care and caution. He made sure to place his paws on her back and under her knees.
She didn't protest in any way. Though she gave him a weird look. "Why are you staring like that?"
*Ah, crap… I couldn't stop myself.*
"Sorry," he mumbled. "Just making sure you're comfortable. Say a word and I'll let you down immediately."
"It's fine," she said, resting her cheek on his chest. It actually surprised her a bit that she didn't find it repulsive after what happened. When she bumped into a buck earlier, her body jerked back on its own. But now… She was a little uncomfortable about the closeness, however… At the same time she could sense a feeling of security. Judy had no idea where it came from. It also didn't make any sense, considering her experience. But there was one thing she was certain of. "It's warm." The doe curled up against his chest.
Nick's heartbeat accelerated even further. He didn't fool himself by thinking that she wouldn't notice. Not with her head so close to it. He only hoped that she wouldn't comment on it.
.
.
Vivian was drinking camomile tea, in a feeble attempt of calming her nerves. She had a long internal monologue, in which she had raised many points about how pointless it would be to feel worried. Needless to say, she was worried like hell.
The vixen set the cup on the kitchen top, before she would drop it. She knew that everything was now between Judy and her son. Even if she would have all the best advice in the world, she had no right to interfere in any way. It wasn't her struggle. Still…
The vixen rested both paws on the kitchen top while lowering her head. Her fingers trembled from the emotional turmoil within her.
The doorbell rang.
This almost made her jump. However, in the next moment she was already scrambling to the door. Vivian pulled the door handle with such force that it wouldn't be surprising if it were to fall off.
A familiar duo was standing right in front of her.
"Hey, mum. Look who I found." Nick flashed a weak smile. He let Judy go back to her feet when they entered the building. The fox thought that they didn't need any accidental meeting with neighbors to start some rumors about him and Judy. He was fully aware just how damaging social condemnation could be, and he would go to great lengths to protect her from it.
Seeing the two, Vivian didn't know whether to laugh or cry from joy. It turned out she did both. Pulling them into her apartment, she immediately opened her arms to embrace both Judy and Nick.
The fox tactfully made sure that he would not be squeezed together with Judy in the hug. He may have carried her all the way here, but he didn't want to push his luck.
Once the vixen released them from her arms, she swiftly guided them into the living room.
Judy got a seat on the couch, plus a thick blanket that was large enough to cover her twice over. Nick wanted to head to the kitchen, but his mother pushed him down onto the armchair.
"You two just rest, I'll take care of the small stuff."
"I'm not tired," Nick muttered in protest.
"Yes, yes," she waved him off, "I'm sure that savage mammals don't need any rest."
The fox actually blushed at the retort from his mother. This was partially due to the presence of his bunny partner. He risked a glance towards her.
She looked… exhausted. That was the closest word to describe her that he could think of. Though she did shoot him an accusatory look at the mention of his condition.
"I almost forgot," she said from under the blanket, "what happened with Jackie and Marcus?"
Nick attempted to sink into the armchair. "Er, I-uh, kinda ran away from them."
Judy looked like she was about to scold him, but gave up and shook her head in resignation. "Why did I even ask?"
For the umpteenth time in recent days, Nick lowered his ears in shame. "I'm sorry…"
"Is it too much to ask for you to admit to your lies publicly?" Judy asked. However, it was not a question.
Nick swallowed and looked away. "I… All I could think of back then was…" he squeezed his fingers, "was that you were going to him."
Judy's expression stiffened.
The fox sighed heavily and moved his gaze to the floor. "Go ahead, mock me all you want, but I know a liar when I hear one," he muttered. "I couldn't just sit in an interrogation room when I knew that he was up to something."
Judy stared at him in thought. "Just… when did you start thinking he's a liar?"
Nick scratched the side of his neck. "That time in the bank." Internally, he was hoping for no follow-up. *Please don't ask, please don't ask.*
However, Judy was not one to let up. "And what did he do that made you suspicious?
The fox grit his teeth, doing his best to keep a calm expression. He didn't want to reveal it. In current circumstances, Nick feared that it could be too painful for his beloved bunny. Still… he was perfectly aware that for him to regain Judy's trust, he would need to be completely honest. "It's…" the fox half sighed, half groaned. "He said something, and I was certain that it was a lie."
Judy watched his struggle from her seat. "Nick, you know I'm going to ask."
The fox closed his eyes. "He... he said that you are the most important girl in the world to him."
He could only hear noises from the kitchen, as his mother was in the middle of preparing something. After a few more seconds, Nick dared to open his eyes to look at Judy.
She had a blank expression, at best. Her eyes seemed to be staring somewhere distant.
His heart sank. Part of him raged at the buck for making Judy experience this. Still, most of his mind was occupied with speeding thoughts about how on earth could he drag her out of that state.
"Judy…" Her name slipped out of his mouth almost unconsciously.
There was no reaction.
*What do I- What would-* His mind was desperate for something, anything. A thought appeared at that moment.
"He's in a cell."
That made her ears twitch and she slowly turned her gaze to him.
"We caught him, and we delivered him to the precinct. Bogo will be informed first thing in the morning."
Her eyes seemed to słowy come back from a distant voyage. "He got… arrested?"
Nick nodded to that. "Yes. Less than an hour ago."
Judy's gaze traveled to the floor. After a moment, she rubbed her forehead with a paw. "I guess I should feel, what, satisfied? Relieved?" Her shoulders sank. "I don't know…"
Nick also felt downcast.
Vivian cleared her throat, drawing their attention. "Chamomile tea," she said, setting down the tray with two cups, "for both of you. Please drink, especially you, Judy." The vixen shot the bunny a doctor's stare.
"Thank you," the doe smiled in return.
Vivian nodded and rested her paws on her hips. "Now, I need to pick up the girls, so I'll be out for, oh, half an hour to an hour. In the meantime, why don't you two have a chat?"
Her two guests exchanged glances.
"Judy, dear," the vixen addressed the bunny, "would you like me to lock the door on my way out? The windows are closed, and I doubt he'd try to crash through the glass." She maintained eye contact with Judy, while pointing at Nick with her thumb.
"Mom…" Nick groaned.
On the other paw, this made Judy nod. "I won't mind if you do."
"I'm not going to run away, okay?" The fox straightened up.
"Of course not," Vivian huffed. "If you would, you wouldn't be worth keeping." With those words, the vulpine doctor headed for the coat rack.
Nick opened his mouth to counter her claim, but nothing came out.
Judy couldn't help herself, and she threw another jab. "Let's keep them open, as a test."
The fox groaned, as he laid back against the armchair, and covered his eyes with paws. "I get it, I get it… I screwed up. Can at least ask for a peaceful death and a chance at redemption?"
Vivian fixed him a stare only mothers knew, putting on her coat. "Judy," she addressed the bunny, "if you need anything, just give me a call."
The bunny nodded. "All right, thank you."
The vixen sent them both a warm smile, as they sat together in her living room, before leaving the apartment.
As the door closed, silence filled the air. None of them seemed thrilled with the perspective of starting the conversation. After a while, Judy reached out to grab her cup of tea. Vivian thoughtfully provided her with a bunny sized one. The doe took a sip of the hot liquid and settled down in her seat.
Nick took a quiet breath. "How are you feeling?"
Judy looked as if taken off guard with the question. She pondered for a moment before answering. "I… don't know. It's, uh, difficult to say." She rubbed her arm with a paw. "Somewhat lost, maybe. Confused."
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry that you have experienced something like that…"
She didn't respond, only stared into her tea. Her fingers clenched the cup tighter.
This did not go unnoticed by the fox. "Uh, sorry. Shouldn't have said that."
Judy raised her head. "No, no. It's fine, just… It's all very fresh, for now."
"Right…"
Uncomfortable silence drowned the room. The fox completely couldn't decipher what his friend was thinking about.
"So, um, about my savagery…"
More time passed in silence, as Judy simply stared at him. Enough for Nick to start fidgeting with his paws. "Um…" he began bravely, "is it just me, or you are not saying anything to make me more nervous?"
She took another sip of her tea. "Who knows?"
The fox let out a quiet groan before rubbing his face with both paws. "Okay… I know, I know. I screwed up. Like, royally."
Judy kept her gaze on him while sipping tea.
He sighed heavily, lowering his arms, and staring at his paws. "Again, I'm sorry."
The bunny set her cup on the tray. "But why, Nick? I can't understand why you wouldn't share this with me."
Nick gave her a guilty look. His paws began trembling slightly, so he squeezed them together. "I… I was scared." He swallowed as his head began showing the first signs of migraine. "Actually, no, I was downright terrified."
"Of me?"
He nodded, solemnly. "I know that we have this behind us, but… I can never get out of my head the look on your face after that press conference. I was only acting, yet… the panic I saw in your eyes…" He choked up, squeezing his eyes shut.
Judy's expression softened after hearing his words. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say even a word, Nick continued.
"The thought that I could cause this again, after you would hear that I'm a savage, that I could… snap at any point and turn into something like Manchas…" He paused again, taking a few deep breaths.
"Then what about the bank?" Judy inquired.
He winced at the question. Not from the growing headache, but from another blade of guilt piercing his heart. "I panicked. I was so angry at that mammal. If not for the training, I probably would've smashed his head then and there."
The doe leaned her head a bit to the side. "Training?"
Nick flinched, realizing what he just said. His initial impulse was to dodge the question, play it off as a joke. It took quite a mental struggle to force the words out of his mouth. "It… was… At the junkyard… With Finnick. He… provoked me to turn savage… in a cage."
Those words made Judy's ears fly up. "Cage?
A wave of cold surged down Nick's spine. *...Crap.* He immediately thought how honesty can get you into so much trouble. However, the fox berated himself right after the moment that thought appeared. *No, no, no. My own fault for lying to her in the first place…"
"You're telling me that the junkyard case where we went on a wild-goose chase... was actually about you all along?"
His clenched throat refused to make any sounds, so he nodded instead.
Judy felt the heat of anger rising in her chest. Still, she paused before giving him an earful. It hurt, that much was true. Still, she reminded herself that she should have expected this much about the situation. If he lied about being a savage mammal, who knows what other fabrications were in store for her.
Still, it did not make it right. "Nick…" Her mixed emotions made it sound like an aggressive sigh. "I would like to be very clear on this. I will not tolerate any more lies. The things from the past… I can't change them, but I want to know what really happened," she said with a warning in her voice. "Above all, I do not want to find out that you've lied to me again."
With guilt painted all over his face, the fox nodded solemnly several times.
Judy went on, "With that in mind, is there anything else that you would like to add about the junkyard case?"
He shook his head. "I'm sorry, I really am. I was too much of a coward to admit that it was me."
The bunny pondered about it for a second. Would she really panic if she were to hear from a sane, calm fox that he is a savage? There were too many 'ifs' to tell for certain. "Nick, do you trust me?"
"Yes." His answer was practically immediate. "But it's not matter of-"
"Then why didn't you trust me regarding your savagery?"
He opened his mouth, but she wasn't finished.
"Nick, after all we've been through together? Mr Big, Manchas, the train crash, Bellwether?" She was looking him straight in the eye. "Nick, if it wasn't for you standing up to Bogo, I wouldn't even be a police officer." The doe paused letting the words sink in. "I got where I am now, because a fox who had no reason to get involved decided to step in and save my career. Does all that mean nothing to you? Do you have so little faith in me?"
His lips were trying to form some answer, but he couldn't come up with anything resembling a reply.
"One of the reasons I wanted you to be my partner was the fact that you were the mammal I have trusted most in the entire Zootopia. I felt that even if the whole city were to turn against us, you would still be on my side. And then…" She drew a shaky breath. "And then I find out that that mammal, the one I trusted the most… He does not trust me." The last sentence formed a couple of tears in the corners of her eyes.
He was in shock. Her words have left him speechless. *Mother Nature… Have I always been this dumb?* Here he was, afraid if he could trust someone else than himself, and yet, she was always there - right in front of him. While he gave her every reason to trust him, she never got any solid proof that he would do the same. He simply followed her, blind with the joy of having someone by his side. He schemed so many plans and trickeries that he never realized how he tricked himself into not trusting anyone, especially those who would offer help. And now, here he was, caught in his very own scheme. He could see first-paw how his distrust was making others suffer.
Judy was the first to ever make him realize that.
His usual reservation evaporated, when he slid off from his armchair onto his knees. "Judy, I… I have no excuse." Nick could feel the wetness forming in the corners of his eyes. "Please… Let me fix this. I really wish to make it right."
She looked at him, his pleading eyes, and the lowered ears. "Nick, I didn-" The doe also got off her seat to approach him. "Please get up," her voice was practically a plea, "I only wish for us to talk. There's no need for you to kneel like this."
"But-"
Judy shook her head. "Look, it's…" She rubbed her face with a paw. "Ugh, this is tough... I'm still processing the whole savagery thing, okay? And I need to get it off my chest. I can't just lock it up inside."
He gave her a pained look, but still made a small nod.
Seeing his reaction, she let out a sigh. "Nick, I'm not saying all this to make you miserable. But I'm upset, all right? If we are to talk about some…", she circled her paw in the air, trying to find a word, "understanding, then I have to say those things." Judy turned around and went back to her seat on the couch. "And that goes for you, too. If you think I've done something wrong, tell me. I'm not a psychic, Nick. If we are to trust each other, we need to communicate."
"That's…" His expression looked as if he just rediscovered that two plus two equals four. "All right," he muttered, before allowing himself a little smile. "Though I can't imagine you doing something wrong."
She rolled her eyes. "Please. The press conference?"
His inner hustler switched on before he could stop it. "Twas but a minor irregularity in a series of tangible successes that have positively impacted the local population."
Judy simply shook her head, but she just couldn't hide her smile.
Nick's heart sang with hope, seeing how his beloved bunny could brighten up, even if a little bit. He listened to her request and also returned to his previous seat.
"Jokes aside," the doe leaned back on the couch and her face once again adorned a serious expression, "I mean it, Nick. Please do not lie to me ever again."
His mouth wanted to agree immediately, but he stopped it. The fox didn't want it to sound like a hurried expression. Instead, he looked her in the eye and gave a slow nod of his head. "I promise," he declared solemnly with a clear voice. He meant it. Of all things he's ever done in his life, this truly felt as the most important one. No retries, no third chances. Nick was perfectly aware that he will need to work his ass off to repair their friendship. Honesty was only the first step.
She eyed him carefully. "We'll see if you can live up to that statement."
The fox swallowed and nodded.
"All right…" Judy muttered before resting her chin on a paw. "Then let's test it out."
His ears drooped. *Sweet Mother Natu-… This is gonna hurt.*
.
.
He told her everything she asked about. The matter with Zungo, his absence after the fight in the alley, how he got a hold of haloperidol, and so on. In some cases, she connected the dots on her own. She may have been put through a traumatic experience, but she still had the mind of a detective.
"I will say…" Judy straightened up. "You had me fooled way too many times."
Nick rubbed the back of his neck. "Not sure if that's a compliment or a complaint." Internally, he was fighting back the migraine and nausea. He noticed that it wasn't as severe as in their first talks, but still brought him a lot of discomfort.
The doe raised a brow. "Both."
He didn't know how to exactly feel about it. Still, it was a very Judy-like answer. That thought was uplifting on its own. He considered it a sign that she remained herself at the core, even with the recent experience. His internal foxy self was itching to crack a joke, but he knew better. If things go well, there will be time for jokes in the future.
"I was desperate, that's for sure…" he muttered.
There was a pause from Judy, as he has noticed. She seemed to be mulling over something. The doe was staring at him intently before taking a deep breath. "Tell me about your savagery."
Even though he knew that this question was coming, Nick shifted a bit uncomfortably in his seat. "What do you want to know?"
"How does it work? What triggers it? What effects does it have on you?"
He raised his paws defensively. "Whoa, can't we take one at a time?"
"Fair enough." She nodded. "Then please tell me what makes you go savage?"
*The thought of your body being close to mine…* He barely withheld a wince from how much he wanted to slap himself for that thought. "It's…" He drew out the words, trying to buy time for a feasible explanation that wouldn't suggest anything sexual. "From what I gather," he said somewhat normally, "the main trigger seems to be some sort of an emotional state. Strong emotions increase my heart rate, make my blood run faster."
Her ears perked up like whenever she got genuinely curious about a subject. "So we're talking anger, fear… Things like that?"
He nodded, not daring to utter anything that could encourage her to expand that list of emotions.
"And what happens then? Once you… change."
Nick opened his mouth to answer. He stopped. *That's… A good question.* The fox rubbed his forehead with a paw. "Well… nothing, actually." Which was technically true. The savage state itself didn't cause anything on its own. He could switch it on, at will, and he would have it under control. Unless… "I mean, given that nothing is making me angry. Like, if somebody were to tick me off, then I would struggle not to hurt them."
Judy digested that information for a quiet moment. Then she gave him a suspicious look. "Was that what happened at the precinct today?"
Nick lowered his gaze to the carpet. "...Yeah."
"Then why didn't you tell m-"
"It doesn't work that way." He shook his head. "Sorry, but there are instances when it's uncontrollable. It's just…" Nick gestured with his paw. "Red mist in your vision, the bloodlust… It's like… when you trip and you know that you can't stop the fall."
Judy remained silent for a couple of seconds. "Nick… Tell me honestly." Her voice became heavier. "Have you killed anyone in that state?"
His whole body sprung up. "No! That never happened!"
Judy's expression was laced with doubt. "Are you sure about that? You just told me that you can't control it."
His mind went into panic. The images from the alley where he helped Rose and Silver, the Golden Hoof club… "I… I… There were mammals I've hurt…" He swallowed with trouble. "Some of them badly. But I didn't kill anyone!"
She stared at him with uncertainty.
Nick racked his brain, searching for arguments for his defense. "There were few who landed in a hospital, but I have checked up on their condition! They are alive!"
This made the doe's eyes widen. "Who's in a hospital?"
"That's…" His instincts urged him to stay silent, but he made a promise with her. He had to be completely honest. "It's those mammals who made trouble for Rose and Silver in the alley. And… And some thugs from the club."
"What club?"
Migraine told him that he was basically digging his own grave. Still, he squeezed his fists tightly and relayed what happened in Basker's club. Of course, Nick omitted the fact exactly how Jackie helped to stop him.
Judy toppled backwards, resting her back on the sofa. "This… I wonder if there is any end to the secrets you have."
The fox's claws were almost digging into his skin. "There's… still quite a few."
Her brows rose in surprise. She heard him promise honesty, but considered that there could still be a margin of secrecy that her partner would want to keep. "And you would be willing to share?"
He looked down at his paws. "No," he muttered, "but I will if you ask."
Judy observed him carefully. How tense he became, how strained his voice was. "Let's stop for now."
The fox blinked. "Huh?"
"Nick, I know you're trying to hide it, but I can still see your discomfort." She showed him a small smile. "It's not my intention to torture you, so I suggest we just end it for today."
"Okay…" he replied with a hint of hesitation. *When did I become so transparent? Or maybe it's just her…*
"But we still have a lot to talk about." Judy pointed a finger at him.
He leaned back a little bit. "Uh… Right, sure."
"All right," the doe stood up,"now I seriously need to go-"
"What?!" His ears shot up.
She rolled her eyes. "To the bathroom. I'm not you, I won't be running away."
Part of him was ashamed of the comment, still he was mostly relieved that his fears won't be coming true. Yes, he may have convinced her to talk, but he considered it a fragile success. On the other paw, he realized that he couldn't tiptoe around her for too long. His bunny has always been one to push forward, regardless of the obstacles. He only hoped that this obstacle wouldn't become too heavy for her. "Sorry," he said, relaxing a bit. "It's just… I worry about you."
His comment caused the corners of her mouth to rise a bit. "Thank you," she said softly.