[tw: scars and sh]
The dress still didn't look right. Sakura had tried everything, but all the time the string stuck out too much and the neckline fell too low. The bright pink also conflicted with her hair, so Sakura felt like she was going to a circus rather than a family event.
She nervously took off her dress and threw it into a corner. A knock came to her ears for the third time. Sasuke was losing his nerve, as was she.
"Sakura, we'll be late if you don't leave soon." the tone of his voice was no longer dripping with anger or wrath.
Something, not sure what, but something had changed two days ago. The attempted apology, though unsuccessful, had somehow pushed Sasuke to spend more time with her. During this they didn't talk much because they didn't know what to talk about, but just sitting in Sakura's company was a major accomplishment for Sasuke.
"One minute!" she exclaimed, pulling a pair of sleek black trousers and a light-coloured blazer from her wardrobe.
They fit much better and Sakura felt much more comfortable in it. She circled around, saw if everything fit well, then left the room. Sasuke looked at her tiredly.
"Ready?"
"Just a moment!"
"Sakura, I swear-" he quieted as she placed the finished portrait under his nose.
"Sign next to me." She handed him the pen, but Sasuke looked at her questioningly, "It's a gift from both of us."
He did as she asked. Quickly afterwards, Sakura framed the drawing and tucked it into her purse. She still wanted to go back to her room to get her lipstick, but Sasuke grabbed the sleeve of her blazer and led her out of the house. He was still dragging her when she finally said:
"I don't need any more help."
Without further ado, he let her go.
"Listen to me, Sakura." he said in a blunt voice, "From now on, we have to behave like an almost real married couple."
"Oh, and don't we do that every day?" she asked sarcastically, causing her to receive a chastising look from Sasuke "I get it, you don't have to worry." She slipped her hand under his elbow, entwining their fingers together "After all, everyone can see from a distance how much I love you, Sasuke-kun."
"But not so much." he stepped back a little "By almost, I mean it has to look one-sided."
"One-sided?" she stopped "What are you talking about?"
"You won't understand."
"I won't understand. I'm supposed to play the woman who's head over heels in love, but is ignored by her husband? No way." She crossed her arms over her chest "Either you pretend too or no one."
"What do you care, Sakura?"
"What? Can you hear yourself?" she took a step back "Choose."
"Let's go." he tried to calm the situation, but Sakura didn't give in. She started to walk away and Sasuke gave up at that sight "Fine! Come back already."
She bit her cheek on the inside, feeling satisfied, then walked towards him, grabbing his hand. He had no other choice. Sakura wasn't going to make an idiot of herself in front of Sasuke's family. The people of Konoha were looking at her strangely because of her marrying Sasuke, and she wasn't about to ridicule herself in front of the Uchihas.
In five minutes they walked the rest of the way, arriving at a large hall, specially built for such occasions. The table stretched from one end to the other and was able to seat up to a hundred people. Sakura noticed that more than half the seats were occupied. Sasuke's parents had indeed invited quite a few people.
"Sasuke! Sakura!" Mikoto ran up to them and kissed their cheeks "You two look beautiful."
"Thank you, mum."
Sakura smiled prettily. Mikoto continued to chatter, but Fugaku stood quietly and stared at the interlocked hands of the two of them.
"We have something for you." Sasuke said, and Sakura pulled out a portrait.
Mikoto looked at it, with eyes full of tears "How wonderful." she showed her husband "Look." she pointed to the different parts of the drawing, until her eyes went down to the captions "You drew this?" she turned to Sakura, and the latter only nodded "You have great talent."
Sakura thanked softly and suddenly a loud voice rang out.
"Sasuke!"
They all looked at the young man running.
"Naruto." muttered Sasuke under his breath, but a gentle smile was visible.
The blond man patted his friend on the shoulder, starting a conversation about the best onigiri he had ever eaten in his life. He was so preoccupied with this that he didn't even notice Sakura until she moved a little closer to her husband.
"Oi, is that her?"
"Stupid question." Sasuke replied, rolling his eyes.
"Of course it's her, dattebayo!" he held out his hand and didn't even give Sakura a chance, just snatched it himself, shaking it firmly "Naruto Uzumaki."
She smiled sweetly so as not to arouse suspicion, "Sakura Ha–Uchiha."
Silence fell, and after a moment Naruto snorted with laughter.
"Did you two argue before you came, or did Sasuke not give you-"
"I advise you to shut up."
"Relax or something! I'll tell you how to get to a woman's heart." he put his arm around his friend.
They started a conversation, but Sakura didn't get a chance to hear the beginning of it because Mikoto asked her to come to her side for a second. She said something about places and food, but Sakura noticed that Sasuke had started to move away with Naruto. The only things she picked up on were - "You should give her a chance." and "I won't give satisfaction..." here the sentence broke off.
Whatever Sasuke said could have changed the course of events.
A few more guests arrived and it was time to celebrate. Everyone sat down at the table. Sakura took her place in the middle of Sasuke and Naruto. Every now and then the glass was filled with alcohol and the plate with food.
Hours passed, and as the minutes went by, people enjoyed themselves more and more.
"Try this, Sakura-chan!" Naruto put the unappetising mush.
"Eat it yourself."
"No, you have to taste it." she knew very well why.
She laughed, pushing the dish away. They argued further until suddenly Sasuke burst into laughter. Sakura looked at him surprised, then laughed again. Everyone's humor had improved.
The alcohol was kicking in, the words coming out of their mouths were getting more and more sincere - so much so that some should have remained unsaid.
At midnight, Mikoto and Fugaku left the hall, tired, but no one was ending the party. They wanted to keep having fun. Someone turned on the music. Naruto pulled Sakura up from her chair.
"Sasuke, are you coming?" he asked.
"Maybe later."
So they walked away without him. Out of the corner of her eye, Sakura noticed Itachi joining his brother. She focused on Naruto. They moved to the rhythm of the tune, jumping and twirling.
"So," he shouted over the laughing people, "how were the first few months?"
"Fine." She replied, lying.
"That makes me happy. I thought it would be worse. Sasuke is a difficult person."
Sakura conceded his point.
"We're trying to somehow find our way in this... uncomfortable situation."
Naruto nodded, getting serious. He moved closer to her, stopping his dancing and grabbing her forearm.
"You know, Sasuke needs time. I don't want to ask you for anything, but give him a chance." She didn't know what to answer, so she remained quiet "Oh, he's coming. Wobbly."
Sakura turned around and Sasuke materialized in front of her, extending his hand.
"May I please?"
She accepted the invitation. Naruto cast his friend a look in passing that meant something, but Sakura had no idea what.
Sasuke placed his hands on her hips squeezing gently. The music changed to slow, so she threw her arms around his neck. The distance they would normally hold if they were sober disappeared - they were practically rubbing their bodies against each other. Sasuke led the way.
Two steps to the right, two steps to the left and so on. They were both good dancers. They sensed each other practically instantly. The first minute passed staring at one another, but then Sasuke leaned dangerously close.
"They're watching us."
Sakura understood, smiling cockily. Pretending now should go even better than before.
"Let them watch."
She made a turn and returned to Sasuke's embrace.
"What, now you don't mind playing the role of wife?"
Between her fingers she brushed spiky strands of hair.
"Mm, not now. When you're not so tense and unpleasant, I even enjoy spending time with you."
Sasuke knew what she was referring to. He caught her chin, lifting it up and practically brushing his lips against hers as he spoke.
"Ah, you like?" he was too close "We can spend it a bit differently too."
It was not a normal tone of voice. It was boiling with ... lust. The smell of alcohol reached Sakura's nose then, and she shuddered immediately. Sasuke certainly didn't mean it. He was intoxicated by the strong drink. After all, he wouldn't...
"How much did you drink?"
"A bit too much."
That's what she thought. Sakura moved her head back a little, escaping his lips. Sasuke was good at playing his part too, apparently.
"You don't have to pretend like that. We've probably convinced everyone by now that we seriously love each other." she said, as it was slowly starting to get embarrassing. She didn't want Sasuke to look at her like she was a piece of meat and treat her like she was transparent at home.
"Who-"
"I'll take him." Itachi interjected, appearing suddenly.
Sakura didn't object when Itachi left with Sasuke. It was better that way.
She stood in the middle of the dance floor, wondering if it would be polite to leave now. The atmosphere and mood had changed Sakura and she would preferably go to bed, forgetting about tonight. However, she didn't even manage to take a step because someone hugged her from behind, placing a chin on her shoulder.
"I had a feeling you two would make a good couple."
For cover, she laughed. What else was she supposed to do?
"Yes, Sasuke is gorgeous." She cringed in spirit at that lie. What was she even talking about?
"Izumi." The woman introduced herself and Sakura only turned her head to look at her. She was the same girl that Sasuke and Itachi were standing with then "Come on, let's get a drink."
Without mentioning that she had already drunk too much, she followed the woman. Sakura needed to lose herself in conversation with someone else, pushing Sasuke out of her thoughts.
Somehow, she made it home afterwards. She couldn't remember how, though.
During the night she woke up three times, but immediately fell back asleep, feeling only dizzy and nauseous. Drinking with Izumi really wasn't a good idea. All the recent events had blended together for Sakura, leaving her unable to determine what had happened at the very end.
Turning to the other side she curled up, pulling her legs up to her chin. She should get up and prepare breakfast, but the soft mattress refused to leave her; it was pulling her even closer.
The chirping of birds came through the open window, annoying Sakura. Pressing a pillow to her ears, she quieted the animals a little. I wonder if Sasuke's up already, she thought, opening one eye. And how he ended up.
For the first few seconds she saw nothing, but then the image sharpened and she noticed a crumpled sheet and an obviously used second duvet. Momentarily she perked up, her heart starting to beat fast. Someone was here and there was only one option.
From all this, Sakura's head spun again. What had she done and what had Sasuke done? So many questions swirled in her mind, and she ran out of the room, pushed by her various emotions. She couldn't remember anything, but she hoped that Sasuke and she had retained a remnant of dignity and nothing more had happened than it should have.
On the way, she bumped into a wall, bruising her hip. She begged in her spirit for Sasuke to still be sleeping soundly on the couch. It would drive away her intrusive thoughts. Unfortunately, you can't have everything in life - her husband was sitting at the table, with food in front of him and, surprisingly, waiting for her.
"Today we swapped roles. Sit down."
She didn't resist, just took the seat opposite. She watched as Sasuke's hands picked up the chopsticks and separated them. Sakura did the same, not really knowing what to do with herself. If Mikoto found out about this, she would fall. But Sasuke's mother wasn't here, and he himself wasn't bothered by Sakura's sleepiness. Generally lately she had been breaking all the rules set at the very beginning. She should probably start following them.
"Do you want to say something?" asked Sasuke, and the question snapped her out of her thoughts and put in even more embarrassment.
"No." she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, feeling dirty - Sasuke had already managed to get ready for the rest of the day, and she'd just run out of bed "Maybe." she stuffed a piece of fish quickly into her mouth - what was she trying to do? She was about to ridicule herself again "Yes." she finally said, red in the face "We slept together?" she mouthed abashedly.
It was hard to read anything from Sasuke's face. He chewed his mushroom in silence, taking his time to respond. He did not, however, pull down his eyebrows or tap his fingers on the tabletop, so Sakura's words did not frustrate him; progress.
"It depends on what can be considered as sleeping together." he replied, puffing on his tea. He looked really calm "I put you to bed and you started telling me to stay as long as you fell asleep. So I stayed."
She almost choked on her rice. Sakura thought she had gotten rid of this habit long ago, but apparently it came out of her when she was drunk. In her early years, she always fell asleep at her mother's side, because she was afraid of waking up from a nightmare at night and having no one around. As she got older, she slowly stopped because she thought - what would others think?. And just like that, she had to ask Sasuke again. Her life was a tragedy.
"I'm sorry about that."
"No need." He handed her the jug "When I was ten, I sometimes still found myself sleeping with Itachi."
In his voice, she didn't detect a hint of sarcasm, but she couldn't judge whether it was a lie or the truth. No matter what, was Sasuke just trying to make her feel better?
Trying not to get too wrapped up in it, she went back to eating. Nothing helped, however, when all that was swirling around in her mind was the dance from yesterday. The closeness of Sasuke, his scent, his warmth, his breathing, the muscles outlining the shirt wrapping around his torso and his large hands holding her hips steady. This wasn't the way it was meant to be - they were supposed to play, perform well in front of his family and go back to avoiding each other or spending time in silence.
However, this dance had changed Sakura's perception of Sasuke and she didn't like it. She needed to put an end to it.
"Let's forget about what happened yesterday." she fired out, accidentally slapping her hands too hard on the table. Sasuke lifted his chin higher "This whole pretending—"
"I don't want to forget that." he said confidently. It wasn't what Sakura had expected - where did Sasuke, who didn't like her, disappear to? Let him come back, she pleaded, but inside, however, she wished he would start looking at her differently too "I mean," her heart beat harder, "my last words were... out of place. However, you are different than I thought."
"You mean?" she didn't let him finish.
"Too much to tell." he replied evasively "It's safe to say you're worth my time."
A normal person would have reacted totally differently from Sakura, but she already knew Sasuke a little and instead of getting angry, provoking another pointless argument, she spoke up with a slight smile, giving him the opportunity to elaborate on his thought.
"Ahh, so I wasn't worthy before, that's why you treated me badly?"
"I wouldn't say that." She looked at him meaningfully "Just a little." She raised an eyebrow and Sasuke snapped "Ok, you're right, I was an asshole. Someday, it's possible I'll explain everything to you, but not today."
Sakura respects people's privacy, not pressing Sasuke on family topics or his own. One day, when they trust each other, they will share stories that only a handful of people knew.
Thanking for the meal, she got up from the table, going to wash the dishes. The sound of water drowned out the murmurs of Sasuke behind her. Her stomach was grateful to Sakura for a decent breakfast.
Rubbing her hands together, she stood and wondered if she should do that. She told herself that it might irritate him unnecessarily, but since they'd already broached the subject, she had a chance to find out a little more. It was risky, but she needed answers.
"What happened to make you change your mind?" she turned around, wiping her hands in a cloth. Sasuke didn't look at her "Honestly, Sasuke."
Something stirred in him. He turned his eyes to Sakura and took a deep breath, as if preparing for a very private answer. As a result, she got it:
"I talked to my brother."
She almost laughed.
"So, I myself wasn't enough to convince you of me?"
"I... You didn't-" he massaged his forehead "Can we start from the beginning? Will you give me another chance?"
Sakura put down the cloth, walking up to Sasuke and extending her hand to him. He looked at her in surprise, but finally shook her hand - as he should have when they met.
"Let's become friends." She smiled softly "We have another fifty, if not sixty years together ahead of us anyway."
Sasuke nodded.
A promise. They had made an alliance.
With a lighter heart, Sakura began to head towards the room. Everything happened for something, she repeated in her head. Yesterday had a purpose, and that purpose was fulfilled today. Before she reached the door, however, Sasuke's voice stopped her.
"Sakura."
"Yes?"
She glanced over her shoulder at him, but he kept his gaze fixed ahead.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For everything."
Sasuke was not a bad person - over the last few weeks Sakura had become convinced of that.
Underneath it all was a kind and helpful young man who, though he spoke little, chose his words always carefully. He no longer directed his anger at her, having understood his earlier mistakes. He tried to get to know Sakura, giving her space. He did not bring up the subject of the past, noticing how uncomfortable she felt talking about her childhood. He asked even the simplest questions, studying each one with special attention, beginning to understand her in different ways. Everything Sakura said was important.
Small gestures also played a big part for Sasuke. It was noticeable that they were his love language. He treated his friends with special care, adding Sakura to that now.
His whole demeanor changed (and more so, he became his true self after pretending to be someone else in front of her for months), giving Sakura a reason to be happy. She no longer faked smiles when he appeared in sight.
Shaking her head from side to side, she returned her thoughts to reality. Instead of focusing on the series, she was once again immersed in thinking about him.. And it didn't help at all that, as if sensing the moment, Sasuke appeared right then and there - as he had just now.
She watched as he took off his shoes and disappeared into the study to put away his bag of new scrolls, before reappearing in the living room, handing her the purchases she had asked for that morning.
"The pharmacist told me not to take more than one pill a day. They are strong."
"I'll remember."
Sakura sent Sasuke a silent thank you, taking the painkiller and sipping it with water. Soon the unbearable stinging in her lower abdomen should disappear, giving her a moment to rest. It had been a long time since she'd had such a painful period that she barely moved from her bed to make her way to the couch.
"Do you need anything else?" he asked, with a note of hesitation in his voice. It hadn't yet come so naturally to him to care for her "A warm compress?"
"If it wouldn't be a problem."
Nothing more she needed to say as Sasuke immediately disappeared into the kitchen. Sakura refocused on the action playing out on the television. The young girl was currently fighting a man bigger than her, splitting his skull open, when Sasuke returned with a hot warm compress.
Warmth spread throughout her body from the mere touch. She took it from him, applying it to her stomach and putting her feet up on the couch. Sasuke sat down next to Sakura, seating himself at the other end. She purposely made room for him, curling up as much as she could, but he grabbed her calves and put Sakura's legs over his own. She felt another surge of heat, and not from the compress.
"What's it about?" he pointed with his head at the TV.
Crossing his arms over his chest, he didn't even look at her - lucky for her. Sakura would have burned with shame if he had noticed her red cheeks.
"The princess has to reclaim her kingdom from her half-brother who chased her out of there. There are other heroes too, fighting for many other things." her gaze was fixed on the screen "That's it briefly. Lots of blood and killing."
"Certainly more interesting than my mother's romances."
The tone with which he said it and the sour face made Sakura laugh.
"Did you watch them with her?"
"Some I even know by heart."
She burst out laughing, covering her mouth to stifle a giggle.
"At least you know how to be more romantic." He threw her a sidelong glance, running his tongue over his teeth, hiding a smirk. He almost managed to reply, but the scene changed and Sakura pulled herself up into a sitting position, smacking his lips "Shh..."
She needed to watch it closely - the fate of these two was what she followed most throughout the series. Their relationship was one of the best she had ever seen in fiction. Sasuke, however, wasn't too bothered by the earlier hush and took her hand off his face.
"What—"
"I told you to be quiet. This is important."
"Important..." he muttered under his breath, leaving the subject for now.
Minutes passed and the action sped up with each passing second. At one point, the girl fell to her knees and the boy ran up to her, shouting her name. Sakura was sitting on the very edge of the couch, pressing her hands to her mouth; even Sasuke took an interest. The camera panned down, showing the audience an arrow piercing the girl's body. Then the closing credits came on.
Sakura couldn't take her shocked eyes off the TV. Lots of people had died in this series, but none of them had been her favorite yet.
"Are you crying?" Sasuke sounded a little amused.
"No." She turned her head away, abashed. She wiped the tears away quickly, leaving no evidence. She saw the confusion on her husband's face "You don't understand." she tried to defend herself, however ridiculously it didn't look "They have come such a long way together and they deserve to be happy."
"It's just fiction."
"And?" she set the compress down on the table "At least in it I had what I can't in real life."
"You mean?" Sasuke was lost in all this.
"True love."
She looked up with dreamy eyes, remembering all the best moments. The way these characters cared for and loved each other was what she dreamed of.
"Ah, yes."
Sasuke rose from his seat, acting too strange for Sakura to understand.
"Wait, Sasuke." She stood up, wincing at the quick, stabbing pain "I didn't mean to be mean or anything, but our relationship will forever be different. I won't marry you of my own free will, that would be hard right now."
"And does that mean you'll never be able to love me?"
What specifically did he expect from her? Sakura couldn't predict the future and certainly her feelings, which could change overnight. She didn't blame Sasuke for craving love, as a fair amount of people look for it in life, but she couldn't promise him anything. If they came to spend the rest of their days in a loveless marriage, it would be no one's fault.
Friendship was the greater foundation of relationships for Sakura. They can cope if they stop demanding the impossible from the other. They need to let their emotions develop at their own pace.
"You ask too difficult questions. I don't know what will happen after all. First we have to sincerely start trusting each other."
He nodded, putting his hands in his pockets.
"It sounded like I was forcing it on you. That's not what I meant."
"Don't worry about it. You wouldn't force me to do anything anyway." she smiled "It's late." she turned towards the couch "I'll make the bed— Oh... sorry."
A red stain stretched across the sheet. Sakura felt she should have gone to the bathroom a little earlier. She would have avoided this embarrassing situation then. At least she wasn't sitting on the couch with nothing on; she didn't even want to think about how long it would take to wash the blood off it.
"I'll wash it and give you a new one, wait."
She started to fold the sheet, but Sasuke took it from her gently.
"Go to the bathroom. I'll manage."
His gaze took no objections, and Sakura would really benefit from a good night's sleep. She thanked him, apologizing once more, and closed the door behind her.
The sun was burning Sakura's face. The summer of this year offered no respite. Temperatures were much higher than the people of Konoha expected them to be. The heat was troublesome not only for humans, but also animals.
In the garden, where Sasuke had planted tomatoes and Sakura had planted peonies, there was a small bowl of cold water. The birds were refreshing themselves in it, fluttering their feathers and splashing Sakura's legs.
Watching the tiny creatures was more interesting than reading, she noted. Sakura set up her lounger in the middle of the grass and sunbathed, keeping an eye out on the birds. She took some stale bread and grains with her to throw it on the ground from time to time.
Silence and calmness enveloped her today. Saturday noon spent absorbing the sun - perfect.
A quiet chirping soothed Sakura's senses, until the door to the garden opened loudly. She jumped up in her lounger, turning quickly behind her; Sasuke wasn't supposed to be back until the evening, so it was obvious something had happened to make him come much earlier.
"Sasuke, welcome home." she greeted him, as was appropriate, but Sasuke didn't answer her, indicating that whatever had happened had spoiled his mood "Beautiful day we have today, isn't it?" she began her usual chatter.
Stopping, Sasuke clenched the hand he held in his pocket tighter.
"Aa."
Sometimes carrying on a conversation with him was the hardest challenge Sakura had ever undertaken.
"Is that why you're already here?"
"No."
She waited for him to elaborate on his statement, but Sasuke stood quietly with his jaw clenched. His posture did not augur anything good.
"You're starting to stress me out, Sasuke." she confessed, sliding her sunglasses off her eyes.
Sasuke finally looked at her and pulled his hand out of his pocket, along with a small box. Sakura knew it well; she kept it in her room in plain sight.
"I deserve some privacy too." she said, standing up "I don't go into your study."
"I saw you put it there" he explained "I took it for an important reason though" only now did she notice the identical ring on Sasuke's finger "My mother invited us to dinner".
She pulled out the gold jewelry, slipping it on her finger. How long had it been since she had worn this ring? Five months? Six? Or maybe more? She herself could no longer remember. Sakura pushed the intrusive thoughts aside, however, trying to relax after her husband's words. The next meeting with Mikoto and Fugaku again required a display of acting skills.
"It won't be so bad. We are pretending pretty well.." she assured.
"In front of my parents, we don't have to pretend. They know what arranged marriages look like."
This was something Sakura hadn't expected - she could now more or less deduce that Mikoto and Fugaku had also been forced into marriage. Except, they looked really happy and in love. Will she be able to do the same with Sasuke? Will they fall in love with each other? And why are they wearing rings?
Sakura looked at her finger, "For what purpose did we put them on then?"
"My father told me to wear them from now on. At the last party we forgot them and apparently some people looked at us strangely." He put his hands back in his pockets and ran his eyes over Sakura from top to bottom. A blush appeared on her face; she had forgotten to cover herself with the skirt "We have an hour."
The basket and hat lay on the table in the hallway. Sakura took one last look at the pictures of the herbs she needed to collect today. She had received the full list from her friend two weeks ago, but it was only today that she was able to go to the clearing near the village exit, as she had learned from Mikoto that the needed plants were ready to be picked at the end of September. That's why she asked Sasuke to go with her today to harvest.
At first he resisted, saying it wasn't his thing and he had a busy weekend, but finally after much persuasion he agreed (Sakura thinks her smile and sweet eyes worked).
Although, one possibility as to why Sasuke hadn't wanted to spend so much time with Sakura for some time could have been the recent dinner with his parents. For the past two months, the word child had become forbidden in their home - neither Sakura nor Sasuke could get it out through their throats. They realized that at some point, the Uchiha would start requesting a grandchild, but they never thought it would be so soon. Because of this, their relationship became a bit strained.
They were still watching the TV series together, eating and sitting next to each other in the living room doing something different, but their conversations were cutting off in the middle. And that was one of the things that pushed Sakura to take Sasuke with her. She wanted their relationship to get back on track.
"Ready?" the question snapped her out of her musings.
She threw her straw hat over her head "Yes."
They walked quietly towards the exit, holding hands for show. Sasuke's family - cousins, aunts, grandmothers and others were stealthily always watching them. They couldn't afford the slightest distance between them until they left the village walls.
The long dress flew around Sakura's ankles, and Sasuke's black blouse attracted the last rays of the sun.
"What do you have to gather?" asked Sasuke suddenly, breaking the silence. He, too, could not bear the change.
"Psyllium leaf, bertram root..." she began to list, while enumerating their properties in detail "Oh and also violet herb, if there is any." finishing, they reached the village gates. Sasuke let go of Sakura's hand "My friend was very happy that I moved to Konoha precisely because of the herbs." she decided to start a short, casual conversation "She runs a small medicine shop and some of the herbs she had to import cost a huge amount of money. And you know that in our country we earn terribly little."
For the first time, she hinted at the money problems of the people of the place she came from. Sakura assumed Sasuke didn't fully understand what it meant to be truly poor.
"Hn. In Konoha, people can usually afford everything."
This could be seen at every turn. Here, it was impossible to find a child running around in torn clothes, hair shorn short and with visible malnutrition.
"I noticed." she laughed, trying to ward off unpleasant memories "I wish my parents had known that earlier."
It was meant to sound like a joke, but regret and sadness dominated the sarcasm. Sasuke pulled his eyebrows together, trying to understand; to know Sakura and her earlier life.
"What would it change?"
"I assume my whole life." she answered honestly, without sharing too much information however, deciding to keep it to herself for now "I would like to have financial stability since childhood. In fact, I still don't have it."
It was an unhappy truth.
"I do, and after all, you are my wife."
Sasuke was right, but that did not comfort Sakura at all.
"I don't want to be dependent on you."
"Then start working."
She sighed, understanding what he was preaching to, but hating that he was the reason why going to work was acutely impossible for her right now. If life were easier, she wouldn't have ended up in this marriage.
"As if I could." he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye "I've got it written down in all those cards from your parents that I shouldn't be working."
He made no further comment. His expression, however, had changed - he didn't look happy.
They continued on their way, heading for a clearing. Leaves were falling from the trees, wrapping the path in green-yellow-orange colors. A pleasant breeze cooled their faces. The silence dragged on behind them, so finally Sasuke decided to break it again, still trying to get to know Sakura more.
"Who did you leave behind in your village?"
He chose a really good question, Sakura concluded. The subject of her bonds with people was safe - it didn't reveal too much, and at least she could recall, at least for a little while, fond moments spent with wonderful people.
"Three friends." they finally arrived at their destination. Sakura immediately set about finding and picking herbs "I know they can manage without me, but I don't know how I can still manage without them." she joked, so as not to overwhelm herself with this fact.
"And someone else? A boyfriend?" Sasuke's words came to her from a distance. The man remained at the entrance to the clearing, picking dandelions.
She turned around surprised. What was on his mind? Had she once, by her behavior, given him to wonder if she had definitely not had anyone before?
"Oh, no, I've never been in a relationship. I liked a boy once, but he didn't want me." she laughed at the memory of that embarrassing and awkward situation "And you? Have you had anyone?"
"No." He answered immediately, but she heard a hesitation in his voice. Sakura felt a gentle sting in her heart, even though she shouldn't, after all. Because why should she? Sasuke must have noticed the look on her face, because he immediately began to develop the topic, "I had a close friend that my parents adored and we were supposed to get married when I turned eighteen, but she died the year before."
Her hand hovered in the air.
"I'm sorry." She tossed the herb into the basket, walking on and keeping a safe distance. Maybe she shouldn't ask about it; the feeling in the air was... strange again. But she wanted to find out more and curiosity won out "So, you had a person you wanted to marry." she concluded.
Sasuke shrugged his shoulders.
"I had no problem with that. I felt comfortable enough around her."
'And do you feel comfortable around me?' she almost asked, but held back with the last of her strength. This wasn't the right time.
"Did you love her?" she asked instead, hoping in spirit for a negative answer - no matter how awful it was.
"As a friend."
Something indicated in his response that—
"But if she had lived longer you might have loved her differently?"
The sentence Sakura uttered hung in the air, and Sasuke hesitantly, as if he were about to spoil something irrevocably with it, nodded.
"But now..."
Sasuke stared off into the distance, not even blinking. Sakura walked over to him and grabbed his forearm, bringing him back to reality.
"You have to live with me." She said in a light tone, cheering up the atmosphere a little.
"It's not so bad." he picked up on her intentions, but quickly switched from a tone for jokes to a serious one "You'll never replace her for me, thankfully. I don't know how I'd cope seeing her in you."
He absolutely did not intend to make her sad. In fact, he wanted a different outcome, but Sakura was moved by what he said. Tears began to fly down her cheeks, her hands shaking. It was upsetting.
"What happened?" Sasuke was confused.
"It's nothing. It just made me sad that some people die so soon." She lied "She should live longer."
The crying intensified, and Sasuke had no idea what to do. Sakura covered her eyes with her hands, but out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that he hesitantly raised his hand. He placed it gently on the top of her head.
"Then I wouldn't have met you,"
"And you'd be happier."
He didn't answer anything, but he also didn't confirm Sakura's words.
Seemingly it was her hand that was cutting the vegetables, but Sakura felt as if the mind in her body was not there. She was wandering somewhere between dream and reality, repeating Sasuke's words in her head.
You will never replace her for me, You will never replace her for me, You will never replace her for me... and so on and so on.
She shouldn't do that. She remembered his further words perfectly, the warmth of his hand on her head and his attempt to get out of this uncomfortable situation. Sasuke had simply answered her question, he wanted to be honest, to share a piece of his past without intending to hurt her, but Sakura could only remember at that moment what had harmed her.
Because what if Sasuke was subconsciously looking for what he loved about his friend in her? If the only way to creep into his heart and make him fall in love was to become just like that girl? And what if Sakura is exaggerating? After all, she's not in Sasuke's head and maybe he likes her because she's herself, the Sakura?
A spasm of chills shook her. She must categorically stop ... but she couldn't do it.
She could easily adapt to her new role - Sasuke's dead friend. She didn't know her one bit, though, so the idea wouldn't work. But something else would, she sensed, just what...
"Sakura?"
Fingers flew before her eyes. She had completely forgotten that Sasuke had been standing next to her the whole time. Inadvertently, she ran the knife over her fingertip. Blood began to drip, and Sakura just stared at her. What was she doing? What was life requiring of her? And why couldn't she enter Sasuke's mind to find out what he was really thinking?
Red fluid continued to flow. Sakura found herself out of the present again, so when the cold water touched her skin she shuddered. Sasuke held her wrist, watching her face closely, as if he sensed something was wrong.
"What's going on-"
"Could you repeat your earlier question?" she interrupted him before he was able to finish, because she knew she would have answered him straight away and she didn't have the strength to explain.
"Are you doing anything on Saturday?"
"No."
"I have to go to the neighboring village," he said and fell silent.
Sakura looked at Sasuke waiting for more information, but he stood quietly, all the while studying her face. Was it so obvious she wasn't feeling well?
"Okay." she finally spoke up to avoid the unwanted words "Have a safe trip." she always said, claiming that if she didn't then she would bring misfortune upon that person.
The water began to turn transparent again, so Sasuke pulled Sakura's hand out from under the stream.
"Would you like to come with me?" he asked suddenly.
"If I don't bother you." The sarcasm stood out most in her voice, but some sadness made itself known as well.
"What's in that head of yours, Sakura?" he was focused "You've been quieter lately."
"And does that bother you? You finally got what you expected from me in the beginning." Sasuke glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, and Sakura was embarrassed by her behavior. She picked up her knife to occupy her hands with something, "Sorry. I'm kind of confused and... and... I don't know. I wish I could stop thinking!"
She felt helpless. Sasuke didn't understand what was so preoccupying her head, and he certainly didn't expect it to be him and his former friend, but he wanted Sakura to feel better. The knife slipped out of her hand removed by him. He gently touched her back, guiding her towards the living room.
She had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. She was about to make dinner, and Sasuke had interrupted her halfway through and was now moving the table away from the couch.
Sakura watched him as he spread two blankets on the carpet, arranged the pillows and one duvet; he turned on the TV, pulling out a small box.
"I promised to bring some of my mother's romantic comedy CDs. We'll watch the first one tonight."
She blinked a couple of times.
"But you have a hard day tomorrow, you said so yourself."
"Sit down."
For the first time, she looked at him from a different angle. Sasuke's eyes shone, and Sakura felt warmth in her heart. She hated her role, but she liked the man in front of her.
Darkness was gathering outside the windows, putting Konoha to sleep. Sakura sipped her second glass of wine, filling her sketchbook with new drawings. She had acquired it a week ago when she went to the park with Sasuke. She wanted to include landscapes and flowers on the pages, but ended up drawing her husband.
The charm he possessed attracted her gaze more and more often and this was not normal for her; it always meant only one thing. But did she want to love and feel loved that much?
She glided her hand through the air, putting more accuracy into her eyes - she wanted to map them perfectly. Her focus was solely on this when suddenly someone knocked. The sound was so unprecedented that her heart froze for a second. She had never had unannounced visitors before - not counting Mikoto, who came at least once a fortnight to check on how her son and, in theory, Sakura were holding up.
Standing up from the ground, the only thing gripping her entire body was stress. Sakura took her steps slowly, with a warning in the back of her mind from Sasuke not to open the door to strangers, much less late at night. She didn't quite know why and didn't ask, but she didn't even think it would ever happen to her. And that's exactly what was happening now.
She took the keys from the shelf next to the entrance - they were sharp enough that if she aimed well a person could lose an eye. It was at times like this that she regretted not being able to study to become a ninja.
Sakura gently swung the door open and immediately a shouting voice reached her:
"Finally! I already thought you'd never get your lazy ass up off the couch, Te-" he quieted, looking at Sakura with his mouth open "Sakura-chan! I didn't think you'd open it." He laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck "Nice to see you again."
"Come inside, Naruto, it's chilly." She opened wider, feeling relieved.
"Yeah, yeah."
The blonde man crawled in, taking off his shoes and hanging his jacket aside. Sakura was putting away keys when she heard a meow.
"Naruto?"
"So... I brought you guys something." He put the grey and black cat in front of him.
The animal looked at Sakura with trusting blue eyes for moments, and then meowed a second time. It was the best surprise she could get today - the cat she had dreamed of since childhood but could never own because it would be too expensive to maintain. If only...
"I'm not sure I can keep him. Sasuke..."
"Teme loves cats, he won't mind, I promise." The desperation in Naruto's eyes stopped her from asking further for now.
"Make yourself comfortable."
Sakura went to the kitchen, picking up an extra glass. Since Sasuke's friend had come over then, if he had time, he could stay for a while; she'd love to have a conversation with someone, and she even already had something in mind to talk about.
Returning, she took the sketchbook and put the glass in its place, asking Naruto if he would have a drink. He agreed momentarily, saying he had an hour.
"I took everything you'll need."
The net he had brought (Sakura didn't even notice it) was lying next to the sofa. There was no litter tray sticking out of it, just pet sanitary pads - she will have to go to the pet shop tomorrow in that case.
"Why are you giving him away, anyway?"
"After two days it turned out my girlfriend was allergic, heh." he smiled characteristically, with his mouth wide open and his teeth showing "I found him in the woods..."
This is how their first forty minutes passed. Naruto talked and talked and talked, not allowing himself to get into his words. Sakura didn't mind; she preferred to sit quietly, absorbing his every word. She really liked the blond boy - he was funny, talkative, sociable and cheerful. He possessed everything that was not evident in Sasuke. They complemented each other in their friendship, Sakura noted.
Naruto was just finishing telling the story of the last mission - he was describing it in such a way that, instead of blood, death and madness, Sakura saw fun before her eyes. It was how Naruto protected himself from falling into a circle of misery and despair. He preferred to think about the good parts of being a shinobi rather than the bad ones.
He ended his statement with a laugh and a pat on the thigh; in the process, he startled the kitten sleeping on Sakura's lap.
"Fortunately, I survived."
She laughed uncertainly, taking a sip of wine. The amount of alcohol had loosened her up enough that anything she wanted to say or ask practically flowed out of her mouth. She didn't know if this was the right time, but Sasuke could show up at any moment, and she needed to find out something important without him next to her.
"Naruto..." she began, sensing the ground. The blond man clearly possessed a weak head, as he already looked a little drunk, and had drank less than she had "Maybe I shouldn't ask you this, but I've heard about something, or more likely someone, interesting lately."
He waved his hand "Ask whatever you want."
He, too, was now in a position to share every scrap of information.
"Would you tell me something about Sasuke's former friend?"
He almost choked on his wine.
"He told you about her?" wide blue eyes pierced her soul to the core. Sakura nodded, "You're the first person to hear from him."
"You mean?"
"Since her death, he has never mentioned her." He explained "Well, I wish I could tell you, but I don't know much myself."
"You didn't know her?"
"She was very shy and quiet. She was only friends with Sasuke and some girl. You see, I met Teme when we were five years old each. He knew her from birth." He took another sip "That's as much as I know, dattebayo!"
"A..." risky, she said to herself, but choked it out, hoping Naruto wouldn't get suspicious or angered by her curiosity "how did she die?"
"Horribly!" he shot up with his hands "They kidnapped her and her family and then murdered them in the forest. From what was discovered, there was no motive for the crime. Someone simply chose them as a target."
Sakura shuddered at the thought of the poor girl's horror and helplessness at that moment.
"Sasuke is probably now..."
"You'd better not leave the house without telling him where you're going to be." Naruto joked, though his words sounded serious, "Oi, never mind. You probably want to know what their relationship was like." she didn't really care anymore, not after what she'd found out, but the blond man went on, "They were just friends - just, I repeat. Sasuke would have told me if he felt anything more for her, I'm his best friend." he emphasised the last words proudly "Though they did have sex one time." Sakura felt a sting in her heart - stupid feelings "The week before she died. Sasuke lamented afterwards that it was the stupidest thing he'd ever done."
"Oh…"
Her hand began to shake, so she focused her attention on the cat to prevent it.
"You don't have to worry about anything, however." He patted her shoulder "It was without any obligation." he laughed, but Sakura wasn't laughing "Okay, I shouldn't. But you really don't have to worry. It was almost four years ago and Sasuke drank a bit too much."
Naruto was right, Naruto was right, Naruto was right... she repeated non-stop in her head. She couldn't get paranoid again. That wouldn't be fair.
"I'll tell you a secret, Sakura-chan." He moved closer, whispering in her ear, "You're the first girl by whom his expression softens when he talks about you."
"What—"
"We've been waiting for you, Teme!"
Sasuke stood in the corridor, with two new scrolls under his arm, looking at them.
"What are you doing here, Dobe?"
"I came to visit your beautiful wife."
"Did you?" he looked over his friend's shoulder "What's that?" he pointed to a fluffy ball "Never mind. I don't want anything in my house that you had."
"Come on!"
Sakura rose from the couch, with the cat in her arms.
"I want to keep him." she announced.
Sasuke pondered for a moment, then lost the eye battle with Sakura and said - "Fine."
"You see, your wife is better than you-"
"Hinata won't be angry that you're gone for so long?"
"And what time is it- Oh no." with horror Naruto looked at the clock "Sorry, Sakura-chan, but I have to go now. Until the next one!" he slammed the door by accident.
They were left alone. Sasuke went to the study to put the scrolls away and returned to the living room with his briefcase. Sakura stood in the same spot, watching him. When he was within arm's reach, she showed him the cat in all its glory.
"Beautiful, don't you think?"
"Aa." He glanced at it for just a second.
"He'll be keeping me company."
Fatigue on the man's face was perfectly visible. Sakura would have liked to rouse him, to spend the evening together, but she didn't know how to start a conversation about it. The folder of documents spoke for itself, that Sasuke would spend the night looking through them.
There was no other option.
Putting the cat down, she almost bumped into Sasuke. He was so close, too close. She could feel his warmth and his breath calling to her. She needed to move away so she wouldn't do anything stupid. Sakura took her first step, then a second and a third, and stopped. Or maybe there was. The conversation with Naruto flitted through her thoughts and she felt something along the lines of jealousy, though she didn't even know why or for what reason. Was it to imply something? Maybe that was what Sasuke expected/needed from her?
But his words at the very beginning - "Don't touch me" and "We can spend our time differently" argued with each other. What did he actually crave and what did Sakura desire?
The hand on her skirt tightened of its own accord. If Sasuke didn't want it then he would push her away, but if he hungered for it then he would push her close.
Acting as if from an automaton, she rushed to him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him close and joining her lips with his. Sakura had violated his space, the boundaries he had set, so she waited for some kind of reaction, still pressing into his lips. Sasuke, however, stood as if petrified for a couple of seconds - he didn't make a disgusted face, didn't take his hands off her or push her away violently - then deepened the kiss.
A strange feeling, one she had never experienced before, sat in her stomach. Sasuke looked as if he had been fighting with himself in his head for a moment. His breathing - raspy, heavy - bounced off Sakura's lips. Eventually some part, the dominant one, won out and then she felt it, with her whole body - not love, but lust.
She kept pulling him closer, wanting to get rid of any distance, the holes between his chest and her breasts. Their bodies were slowly becoming one. Sakura had to get herself under control to remember what she categorically wasn't going to do now and what her purpose was in all of this.
"Sakura, I don't-"
"I know." he didn't need to finish.
"That's if it's about my parents-"
"That's not why. I want this to be special," she mentioned immediately, "but there are other ways for me to please you."
Tenderly, gently, purposely, she ran her fingers down, stopping at his zipper. She was completely improvising, but she wouldn't panic, there was no turning back; she wanted this so badly.
She started to undo the zipper, but Sasuke stopped her and took her in his arms, slipping his hands under her butt. He headed for the dining room table, kissing her now on the face and neck. It wasn't meant to be like this, but the other way around. She entwined her hands in his hair, holding on tightly and trying to get some control over her body, which was heating up mercilessly.
Hardwood she felt with redoubled force, like everything else - and most of all Sasuke, who had just sucked on a piece of skin, leaving her a hickey. It wasn't so bad yet, she kept her emotions in check, but when he slid his hand down to her panties, accidentally touching her sensitive spot, Sakura thought she was going to explode. She bit her lips hard with teeth to keep from making a sound.
"May I?" the question came to her from a distance, covered by an invisible mist.
She stared intensely into Sasuke's eyes, trying to coax out - "Of course!". What was he doing to her - she was all red in the face, breathing rapidly through her mouth and clenching her thighs to give vent to her arousal.
"Yes." she muttered at last.
Panties slipped down to her ankles and their warmth was replaced by Sasuke's. Sakura felt it immediately as his fingertips touched the nub gently. A strange sensation - a sort of tingling or spreading warmth in the lower abdomen, so good that it was impossible to control. A moan almost broke from her throat, but she covered her mouth with the hand.
"Don't do that. I want to hear you."
With his thumb, he spun circles on her nub, and with the rest of his fingers he went lower running over her entrance, gathering wetness under his fingertips.
No longer could she stay quiet - a moan soared through the air, satisfying Sasuke. He didn't stop stimulating her clit, producing wonderful sounds from the woman's throat. Not once did Sakura try to reach Sasuke's cock, too absorbed in the pleasure he was giving her. He must have been hard, but she was unable to provide the same for him at this point. However, in the back of her mind, she owned the payback.
Focusing on the excitement emanating from every particle of her body, her hands clenched on the edge of the table and Sasuke's arm, it was only a matter of time before she noticed that her husband had begun to lift her blouse. She didn't know what exactly, but something pushed her to admit it:
"I've never done that."
Maybe it was the fact that no one had seen her naked and that stressed her out enough, so she had to prevent it. Sasuke understood Sakura's allusion, slowed down and leaned closer to her face.
"Tell me if it hurts."
Tip of his finger began to enter her. Her muscles tensed, her mouth opened in a silent moan. At her ear, Sakura heard - "Relax." She laughed nervously; it was easier to say than to do. She made an effort, however, feeling safe in Sasuke's embrace.
The walls gave way, allowing Sasuke to penetrate her further. After a moment, he added a second finger (it didn't hurt once; he did it with care and concentration) building the tension to a perfect orgasm.
After five minutes, she felt it - she knew when it was coming, after all, she had once been a growing teenager and masturbated like a normal person - so she wrapped her arm around Sasuke's neck, bringing her face closer to the hollow. She hadn't yet come in front of/by someone, so she preferred to hide from her husband's watchful eyes.
It hit her with tremendous force. She let out a final moan, squeezing her legs tightly around Sasuke's hips.
Both of their breaths stuck in their throats, their hearts beating like mad.
"I..." She couldn't catch her breath.
Sasuke silenced her by running his hands over the hickeys he had made all over the skin of her neck. They would be hard to cover, but he didn't regret it one bit. He pulled his wet fingers from her entrance, his other hand melting into Sakura's hair; he longed to taste her once more.
Prepared for another kiss, still suffused with a hint of arousal and desire, she leaned in and her eyes made contact with Sasuke's irises. They stared at each other, not speaking, until suddenly, unexpectedly, Sasuke pulled away abruptly, catching his head.
"I have to... I have to go."
And he left.
He didn't come back for a week.
A letter from her parents lay on the kitchen counter. Sakura stared at it with blank eyes, reading one sentence over and over again - 'See you on your birthday, dear'.
Four days, that much time she had to prepare, but her mind was solely occupied with Sasuke - where was he, why did he run away, what was in his head and how could she help him? Yes, she wanted to explain this situation, in the calmest way possible. She was angry, terribly angry, but she sensed that the problem might lie deeper than a simple dislike of her person or touching her.
The letters were starting to blend together, so Sakura threw the piece of paper in the bin. At this point she was more furious with her parents. They had left her alone in an unfamiliar village and hadn't visited once in almost a year. And now they had decided to come back for her birthday - a terrible day that she had hated since she was a child, because all she could hear was her mother crying and telling her father that she couldn't afford anything. Of cake and presents Sakura could only dream then.
That is why the small gift she received from her parents and the cake she bought that morning seemed to her like something ridiculous, inappropriate, out of place. And it was also for this reason that she did not share the birthday information with anyone, not even her husband. She preferred to avoid the party that the Uchiha would most likely throw for her.
A meow snapped her out of lethargy. The kitten should be getting dinner, just as Mebuki and Kizashi should have already appeared three hours ago. The journey from the Land of Wind to Konoha had taken a long time, but certainly not a couple of days. Sakura knew that no one would show up.
Taking the food out of the fridge, she put some in a bowl. Cat rushed at the meal immediately. Standing numbly over her pet, Sakura watched him, trying to hide her feelings of disappointment and sadness. She was afraid of loneliness; the same thing that had happened to her at the beginning of her marriage.
The certainty that Sasuke would return one day was slowly evaporating.
She poked a candle at a cake and set it on the table. The kitten joined Sakura.
"It's just you and me left." she turned to the animal, though in truth she was speaking to herself so as not to forget the sound of her voice.
She lit the fire and stared at the orange flame. Make a wish, make a wish, she repeated to herself, but nothing was invading her mind. There were a lot of things she would like to ask for, yet not a single one seemed to be the most important.
Tears flew down her cheeks as did the wax on the chocolate coating. The candle burned out as did Sakura. Candle couldn't go on like this for much longer and broke in half - so when would Sakura break?
"It's pointless." She said hoarsely, and the kitten moved closer to her, purring and rubbing at her wet face.
She wanted strong and warm arms to surround her, providing safety, shelter, but they were not there; they disappeared.
The fire went out, leaving a void in its wake. Sakura put the cake back in the fridge, slamming it a little too hard. She no longer possessed the strength to do anything. Returning to the chair, she leaned her head against the table, making room for the cat. She needed a moment's sleep, and the hard top seemed the most comfortable thing in the world to her now.
Before she knew it she had fallen asleep.
Sakura was awakened by purring. Without opening her eyes yet, she listened to the pleasant sound until a quiet - "Shhh..." came to her ears.
Someone was at her side. Sakura listened more carefully, wondering how she hadn't heard the lock and door open from here. Stress gripped her again as she didn't know who she was supposed to be expecting - breaking into a house wasn't that difficult. She slowly opened one eye. In front of her she saw a man she hadn't seen for seven whole days.
"Sa... Sasuke."
She abruptly pushed away from the table and turned her head, avoiding his gaze. Sasuke stepped back as well, not making the slightest rustling sound.
All words, sentences, questions fled from her head. Sakura bit her cheeks on the inside, clenching her hand into a fist. One second was all it took for her to know something was wrong. His eyes seemed empty, stripped of their previous sparkle.
Her lip began to twitch, and the very nasty words she was about to shout to Sasuke were forming in her head. But she couldn't raise her voice at him. Her chest tightened, holding her back. Sakura knew why she couldn't cause him pain - the same pain he was causing her - but she didn't want to admit it to herself.
Sasuke stood silently, and Sakura was only able to ask him one single question.
"Do you regret it?"
She heard a loud swallow of saliva, nothing else. She thought Sasuke was about to just walk away, but instead he said something that almost knocked her out of her chair.
"Punish me."
The way he said it took the last of the oxygen from Sakura's lungs. Helplessness, pleading, desperation and anger mixed together to form a unity.
"What?" she mouthed, continuing to flee from his black irises.
"I want you to punish me."
It was getting to be too much.
"For what?"
"What do you think, Sakura? I hurt you, I caused you pain and now I regret it." he said this calmly, but then drew air in through his nose with a swish and began to raise his voice "For that! You should now make me suffer! Don't make me do it myself! Yell at me, hit me, beat me, whatever! I'm sick of being the only one who punishes myself."
Chills ran through her whole body, not from the shouting, but the words. They were like a plea for help.
"Have you lost your mind?" she finally turned her head towards him and started to approach. Sasuke stepped backwards until he bumped into the wall "I'm not going to take it out on you. Let's talk-" she stood still with an open mouth. The unnatural redness on the blistered skin triggered a gag reflex in her "What happened to your neck?"
"I walked into the fire." he explained bluntly "I had a mission."
"You said, after all, that you always come back from them unscathed!" she couldn't resist.
Desperate, she grabbed him by his shirt, stepping closer and looking at the second-degree burn spreading from his neck to shoulder.
"I went into it on purpose."
Her nose burned inside and her eyes watered. What was he doing?
"You need to go to hospital."
"No."
"You have to, Sasuke!"
He persisted further, tapping his fingers against the wall; a nervous tic. Sakura needed to act quickly. To soothe the damaged skin. She didn't have any ointments, but she did have a sterile dressing and painkillers and sleeping pills in her room.
Firmly grasping her husband's hand, she led him to her. Sasuke seemed absent-minded, as if he didn't want to admit at all at first what he had done and was now hurting himself in his mind that he had said too much.
Gently she laid Sasuke down on the bed, removing his shirt over his head with special care. The burn had only extended to a piece of his arm some more. It was fortunate. She prepared a bandage and applied it to the wound, watching the grimace on Sasuke's face.
His torso was adorned with various scars - smaller and larger. Sasuke was a ninja, they shouldn't surprise anyone, but the smaller ones along with the burns worried Sakura. It was difficult to do such minor damage to an opponent's body in a fight. One option was that Sasuke had done it to himself. That would also agree with his words.
Tentatively, Sakura ran her hand over one scar, still a little pink, feeling a lump in her throat. She pushed her hand away momentarily, not even wanting to imagine how he did it. She reached for the medication.
"What's that?" he glanced hesitantly at the two pills Sakura was holding and the glass of water.
"You'll feel better after these, I promise."
Unconvinced, he took the white lozenges. The cat jumped onto the bed, kneading a spot next to the man and laying down, with his head on Sasuke's stomach. He will be watching over him just like Sakura.
"Why are you doing this?" he asked weakly, sleepily, looking up from under his squinted eyelids.
Sakura merely smiled sadly, pushing back strands of hair from his forehead.
slowly moving forward
I don't know when the next chapter will be, but I will try to write it as soon as possible
You can let me know what you think!