The sweetly masculine scent of perfume reached her nostrils. She inhaled it, smiling in her sleep; she knew it very well and loved it. It brought back most of the good memories into her head, separating her with a thick line from the bad ones. Sakura woke up slowly, trying to remember what she had done yesterday that had made her feel Sasuke so close to her. What besides the funeral and meeting her friends...
Oh, no.
Her heart squeezed unexpectedly hard and fast. Sakura jerked upwards, clutching her shirt to the left side of her chest. Only now did the rest of the memories flow into her head. Most of them were blurred by her alcoholic intoxication last night, which she had been unable to prevent, but some came back to her like a boomerang.
The conversation with Kankuro, then his with Sasuke and the return home. It was all so humiliating and awful. Sakura remembered how Sasuke had carried her, holding her by her hips and knees to keep her from slipping off him, repeating over and over - "We'll talk at home, Sakura, so stop talking so much already." or "Tell me when you want to throw up... No, it's nothing embarrassing.".
A warm, almost burning sensation flowed into her cheeks. Sakura hid her face in her hands, unable to show him now. After all, it was pathetic - her behavior and her friend's.
Sakura had gotten to know Sasuke and his demons enough to know that Kankuro's words must have touched him, hurt him. And they were untrue. It was Sasuke who made her able to stand in this place for more than a minute; it was because of Sasuke that she smiled more and more; it was Sasuke who made her days go by faster, filled with laughter. And while it could be argued that it was somehow his fault that Sakura found herself in the situation she was in, rather than the other way around, her fate was a foregone conclusion from birth - a poor girl with no future prospects. Yet, marrying Sasuke opened up more life paths for her. Therefore, one could think and wonder, and further Sakura would say - "Sasuke is my safe haven.". He gave her a place on earth. He was the one she wanted to return to every evening, morning and noon. She loved him, and love for him was so gentle, carefree and pleasant. Like the feel of a cool breeze on the cheek on a warm day.
Sasuke deserved that kind of love too. After what he had been through, he needed a break. A person he could always turn to and count on for support. And Sakura wanted to become such a person. But Kankuro could ruin everything.
She uncovered her face, looking around the living room. Nothing had changed. Only one thing was missing. Or rather, a person - Sasuke.
Sasuke was gone.
Sakura got up abruptly from the bed.
He couldn't leave her, could he? Right...?
No, no, no.
Her head spun.
First she checked the room because she hoped Sasuke was sleeping there, but when she didn't find him there, her panic rose. He was neither in the bathroom nor in the kitchen, not to mention the second floor, which it was better not to enter due to the instability of the stairs and floor. In other words, Sasuke had disappeared. Sakura could find no other explanation for his absence.
Why did everyone she cared about have to leave her? Was this what she was destined for - eternal loneliness?
She sat down in a chair at the table, resting her forehead against the tabletop. What the hell she did. She felt like she was stuck again. She didn't even know how long she had spent in this position when the front door opened with a distinctive creak.
Sakura raised her head, listening in. First the sound of plastic nets reached her ears, and then footsteps. Footsteps she knew by heart. She stood up, heading towards the entrance. She needed to see him before she could tell if he was really back. After all, she could have been hallucinating.
But no, she wasn't. Sasuke stood there, staring at her. Did that mean there was a chance for her?
Slowly, as if uncertain, she approached him and embraced him around the waist. He instead, as if reflexively, placed his hand on her head.
(one hour earlier)
The chill of the morning wrapped around his body. Sasuke walked along the empty streets of the village, looking at the houses he passed. They were all in a deplorable state. Some were missing a few boards in the roof, others had a fence that wouldn't close because the lock was broken, and some had paint chipping off. Such houses were rare in Konoha. People earned enough to avoid such a condition. But here, it was impossible to live any other way. Sasuke sometimes felt stupid for thinking that Sakura might want to marry him just to get richer.
Her motives were far more important. If he had been put in the same situation as her, he would have done the same. Even if he had to pay with his own happiness. Just like her...
He made a circle, arriving at the only house distinguished by its colour - orange. Sasuke himself no longer knew how much he circled like this. He felt himself losing himself again, and it was all because of some stupid boy.
The first ray of sunlight fell on his face. Along with it a little girl ran out of the door of the brightly coloured house. She was about ten years old. She ran with a basket, laughing and singing under her breath. Sasuke watched her, smiling softly. Despite her torn trousers and dirty hat, she was happy. Children were such innocent creatures. He and Sakura had once been like that too. And it had been taken from them in a terrible way. But to this girl, not yet, and may it remain so.
The residents were slowly waking up to life. Sasuke walked on, seeing every newer face going outside and starting their day. Sakura would probably be up soon too.
Sasuke had wondered earlier if he should return. Since he made her unhappy, the mere sight of him must have made her sad. The sound of his voice must have provoked anger and the smell must have disgusted her. The fact that he had once touched her in an intimate way and kissed her must have been distasteful memories. His whole persona must have been a torment to her.
But then he remembered the way she looked at him, the way she smiled, the way she said his name and how she craved his closeness. The way she wrapped him up to sleep during an onslaught of bad thoughts, the way she whispered into his hair that everything would be alright, the way she kissed him herself.
Yes, that much was enough for him. If Sakura was unhappy because of him, then her friend must not have known what unhappiness was.
Sakura was loved by him and that was the most important thing.
Sasuke wouldn't have been able to get through those months if it wasn't for Sakura. She was his light and because of her he had overcome this hard road. She deserved all the good in the world and if Sasuke could only give his heart to her, so be it.
His warmth enveloped her.
"Is something wrong?" he asked in a hoarse voice.
"No, nothing." She purred into his chest and snuggled more into his torso "I'm just happy you're back."
"Happy?"
"Yes, Sasuke. I'm happiest because I have you."
Sasuke's hand slipped through her hair and down her back, and fell along his body. Sakura loosened her grip and looked up at him. It was hard to make out anything from his face. He stared into the distance, thinking about something. A shiver of fear ran through her body. She was frightened that she had said something wrong. But it quickly disappeared when Sasuke placed his hand on her cheek.
He gently stroked her skin with his thumb and brought his face close enough that their noses met.
"Really?" his breath brushed her lips.
"Yes." she whispered, because that was all she could afford right now.
And then his lips touched her lips. He kissed her with such devotion and love that her knees almost bent beneath her. She couldn't control her breathing, craving his lips more and more.
Sasuke was so gentle and tender. He kissed her slowly, as if they had a lifetime to do so. Because they had. They were married. Sakura parted her lips, waiting for the kiss to deepen, but then he smiled and kissed her cheek. She laughed.
"I can have greetings like this every day."
She ran her fingers through his hair.
"Yeah? I'll have to think about that." he loved to tease her.
"Sasuke!" and she loved the way he teased her.
He pinched her nose and headed for the kitchen. She followed him, watching as he put down a net and pulled out two white containers. The aroma began to waft through the air. Sakura inhaled the beautiful scent. Her stomach rumbled, asking for food. It had really been a long time since she had had such an urge to eat. It probably had something to do with today.
Did Sasuke understand what specifically she meant by those words? Did he know that she had just confessed her love to him?
"Come on, before it gets cold." his voice snapped her out of her thoughts.
Sakura walked up to him, grabbing his forearm. There was only one thing left for them to explain. She would never leave him with any questions that she could answer. She loved him too much to sentence him to ponder difficult matters between them alone.
"Sasuke-kun, would you like to talk about last night? I think you deserve a few words from me." Sasuke's eyes softened "I care about our relationship and I don't want there to be anything unexplained between us."
He took the chopsticks and sawed them in half, tucking them into one dish.
"I don't think I would want to. I've been thinking about some things and I've come to some conclusions." he was very calm "It doesn't change anything between us, don't be afraid."
"Good," she hugged him "good." and then she laughed loudly and joyfully.
She laughed and laughed, finally getting what she wanted in life for once - love. There was nothing she wanted more than that. That wonderful feeling that you could do anything once you had a loved one beside you. Because that's exactly how she felt around Sasuke. His presence gave her strength.
"What makes you laugh so much?" he asked with a smile.
"I already told you that I'm just happy."
"Ah, yes. You told me."
He caught her head and placed a kiss on the top of it.
The chirping of birds accompanied her as she cooked. Sakura bustled around the kitchen, singing cheerfully under her breath. Somewhere in the living room sat Sasuke, busying himself with the scrolls he had brought with him so as not to fall too far behind in his work.
His proximity to her was something magical. They had enjoyed each other for the past two days. No one else bothered them, interfered, or came to visit. Did it hurt Sakura a little that even her friend didn't visit her after their last meeting? Yes, but she was able to enjoy the sight of Sasuke from morning to evening, as well as at night.
And Sasuke was so gentle. His soul was full of love and tenderness with which he surrounded her. There was not an hour in which he did not touch her gently, seemingly by accident. Sakura absorbed him like a sponge. She relished him, filling herself with his affection.
And she tried to reciprocate his love with the same love. Small gestures - kissing his cheek, mussing his face with her fingers, catching his hand at every opportunity, making dinner, helping with the scrolls - were her signs of gratitude.
She turned off the stove and took out the pot, pouring its contents into bowls. The aroma spread throughout the house.
"It smells nice." Sasuke appeared in the kitchen, putting his hand on her shoulder.
Sakura looked at him and smiled.
"Thank you. I found a recipe notebook in the cabinet. It probably belonged to my grandmother, she often cooked." She scooped some of the dish onto a spoon, "Try it."
Leaning over, Sasuke tasted the dish. Sakura could already see that he liked it.
"Very good."
"Isn't it? I didn't think it would come out so good."
She took out the cutlery and handed it to Sasuke. They walked to the table, took their seats and began to eat. For the first time in a long time, she ate with such a smile on her lips. As she shed her burden and regained her joy of life at Sasuke's side, even such trivial activities as eating took on new meaning.
"I recently saw a room in one of the buildings for sale." Sakura looked at Sasuke, wondering what was on his mind, "I remember you saying you'd like to open your studio someday. What are your thoughts on buying it?"
She put the chopstick in her mouth, looking at him carefully. After recent events and words from his father at his home, she didn't think it was a good idea for her to make herself more conspicuous than she already does. Breaking such a big rule in some silly regulation could have put her at greater risk. She didn't want to be further suspected of conspiracy.
"That's nice of you, but your parents—"
"Yes, yes, my parents have a lot of problems. But I'm not saying that you should start a business right away. I just want you to have your own place to paint, which you can use in the future to fulfill your dreams. That's all I care about." He explained, watching her reaction.
Sakura took a piece of meat into her mouth. She chewed slowly, repeating Sasuke's words in her head. His desires for the fulfillment of her dreams were something new to her. She didn't expect to get so much support from him. She loved it, but it also overwhelmed her a bit. Sasuke at this point wasn't suspected of anything and couldn't put himself in her place, no matter how hard he tried, and Sakura didn't blame him for that, but the whole thing was complicated. Another major infraction could end tragically for them. Their marriage was still just an arrangement.
However, she did not want to make him sad.
"I'll think about it." She placed her hand on his palm "When we get back to Konoha, show me the place and then we'll decide together, okay?"
"Aa."
Together they will decide. Not separately. Together... Sasuke never imagined that hearing such a simple word would make him so happy. The decision on this matter should have been Sakura's own - it was her idea, she was the one who could paint - and yet, she included him.
It was in such small moments that he realized that their marriage was no longer just for show. That it was taking the form of something serious, something human.
And Sasuke loved every second of it.
"But it seems to me that buying it might be good. We'll always be able to do something else there if it doesn't work out for us..." the sound of the bell silenced her. They looked at each other uncertainly, until finally Sakura stood up "I'll open it, it's probably someone to see me."
She walked to the door, fearing in her spirit who she would see on the other side. There were so many bad options - starting with her parents, who would probably disappoint her again with something and spoil her mood, and ending with Kankuro, who could again disturb her relationship with Sasuke. Sakura didn't have the strength or time for another breakdown; she had just regained her composure.
She opened it and to her surprise her friend stood there.
"Oh, Temari."
A sincere smile adorned the woman's face. The tightness in her stomach and heart disappeared, replaced by the pleasant feeling of seeing someone important after a long time.
"Hi, Sakura." she hugged her, kissing her on the cheek "I'm sorry I didn't manage to come earlier, but I have a lot of work and no one to help."
Was her explanation enough for Sakura to forgive her, her lack of interest after recent events? Yes, Sakura could forgive her a lot, and she understood perfectly well what it meant to work hard. Even more so, she couldn't be sure that Temari knew exactly what had happened. Sakura remembered that night as if through a fog.
"Mm, I see, you have nothing to worry about." She opened the door wider, allowing her to step inside "Why exactly did you come for?"
Temari showed her a net full of snacks and a board game. The same one they played during their teenage years.
"I figured that since I have the day off, I'd come visit you. Just like in the old days." She took off her shoes and put down the net, then raised her head. Sakura looked back and spotted Sasuke walking into the kitchen with empty bowls "I hope this won't be a problem for you guys?"
Sasuke stopped, looked Sakura deeply in the eyes and shook his head.
"No, sure it won't." She turned back to her friend "Come on in. I made dinner recently, would you like some?"
"Oo, yes. I haven't eaten anything yet."
Sakura turned to the kitchen. She picked up a clean bowl and began to put the food on. Somewhere beside her stood Sasuke and watched her actions. She felt his gaze on her the whole time. Finally, he came up to her and leaned into her ear.
"I'll be in the room." He said and left.
She pulled clean chopsticks from a drawer and finally directed her steps to the living room. This was just what she needed - an afternoon spent with her childhood friend. Sakura couldn't be sure when the next opportunity to spend time together would come. She and Sasuke planned to return to Konoha in a week. Responsibilities were waiting. Ino was soon due to give birth and Sakura couldn't leave her alone. Ino's mother would also need more help at the flower shop.
As much as Sakura enjoyed spending time with Sasuke, she would have him with her for the rest of her life, and contact with Temari would be limited.
She handed her friend the food.
"Here you go. From my grandmother's recipe."
Temari tasted it and after just a moment she had her cheeks flushed.
"Mmm, delicious!" she sent a meaningful glance to Sakura; she sensed that she had started cooking with someone in mind "Although I didn't like this woman entirely, I have to admit that she always made good food. You take after her." nudged Sakura with her elbow as she sat down across from her on the couch, "As well as a talent for painting. I remember her beautiful paintings. It's a shame that she got rid of them all. You still draw, don't you, Sakura?"
"Of course. I wouldn't know how to give it up like that."
In addition to enjoying drawing, she now had fond memories associated with it. It was through painting that she became closer to Sasuke.
"That's good. I'm waiting until I can buy some of your paintings. It would be perfect for my apartment." Sakura laughed "Now sit down and take out this game."
She took a board game out of the net. She unfolded it, read the rules aloud again, since she had forgotten them over the two years, and handed Temari the pawns. By this time, Temari had finished eating and they could start playing.
Sakura loved this game, as it took hours to play.
Together she and Temari busied themselves and talked about all sorts of topics. They often thought back to the old days, when they would chase each other around the yard and come home in the evenings, tired and hungry. Some of their memories were wonderful. As if to remove the bad ones, Sakura could say she had a brilliant childhood, but the world unfortunately didn't work that way.
She placed another pawn, winning another round. Temari smiled, then said something again in a way that Sakura already knew.
"You also came for another reason." she said, without beating around the bush.
"This is a serious accusation."
"Temari..."
"Okay, you're right." she put down the pawns and folded her hands in her lap; it was serious "That day, when I came back from the bathroom, you were gone. I was scared that something had happened, because you were... Well, you know yourself. But Kankuro said that Sasuke had come to get you, and that was that. From the look on his face, though, I knew something had happened, but he wouldn't tell me what." so that's what it was about. Sakura sensed that her friend might have been a little misinformed, and she would have learned little from her brother, since Kankuro was probably embarrassed by his behavior (or at least she hoped so) "I delayed coming to see you for a bit because of that. I was afraid that something bad had happened, between the two of you."
For the first ten seconds she wondered how to answer her. She didn't want to dredge up again what had happened. She considered the topic closed. They had cleared everything up with Sasuke and that was all she cared about, but she also didn't want to leave her friend in total ignorance.
"Bad... No, not that bad. Kankuro just got a little carried away." she explained briefly "I was hoping he would come and apologize to me and Sasuke, but I can see he's in no hurry."
"Yeah, my brother's always been pretty complicated—"
"That's not true. He wasn't like that before."
That was the truth. She had known Kankuro long enough and well enough that his behavior surprised her. She knew that people change, but this change was not good.
"Why don't you try talking to him?"
"And why should I? He's the one at fault." She shrugged her shoulders "It's not my fault that I don't reciprocate his feelings." She added more quietly, as if she was breaking the rules of friendship by talking about him behind his back (and with his sister!).
"Right... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." she plucked at her lips with her fingernails "Then we'll do things differently. I'll tell him that if he wants to continue to have you as a friend, he should meet with you and talk it over. Do you agree?"
"Okay. Let's deal with it like adults."
A smile appeared on Temari's lips. She grabbed the pawns in hand.
"Now, no more talking about some boys out there. Let's keep playing!"
The village was empty on the streets on this beautiful Tuesday. The temperature reached over thirty degrees celsius, making the day miserable for residents. Such radical weather was rare in her village. No one was prepared for it, not even Sakura and Sasuke. Therefore, most of the people who worked in the stores went to them, but the rest, who usually displayed their goods outside, stayed at home.
If Sakura hadn't promised Temari the day before that she and her husband would visit her at her store, she and Sasuke would now be lounging at home together, escaping this heat. But because of her promise, they were just going to her friend's place.
"I'm never going out in this kind of extreme heat again."
Sakura looked at Sasuke with a smile. She didn't think that this supposedly strong shinobi, who had more than once fought against much stronger than himself and come out unscathed, could complain so much. And that was just for the simple heat.
"You could have stayed home. I asked if you were sure you wanted to go." she said, nudging him in the side in a friendly manner.
Sasuke scoffed.
"You know that I wouldn't leave you,'"
"You say that as if I'm going no one knows where." She grabbed his hand and intertwined her fingers with his "And you know I have no intention of leaving you. Visiting a friend is no big deal—"
"Temari asked me to come, too."
"Oh, you mean you care about coming to see her?" she sounded amused by the whole conversation.
"This is your friend, so it does matter," he emphasized the last word, "to me to make her like me too."
She moved closer to him, embracing his arm. Not only did he complain, but he was also so sweetly annoyed. Sakura seemed to enjoy teasing him a bit.
"Okay, okay, I understand. You're doing this for me because you love me so much..." she prolonged the final syllable, and her voice was more melodious than before "Am I right?"
She did not expect an answer. It was just a rhetorical question, but Sasuke caught her head and moved closer, kissing her on the temple. Sakura laughed out loud at this response. In the past, she wouldn't have dared to make a joke like that, but now she could easily say such things because she knew Sasuke wouldn't take it the wrong way in any way.
They followed the marked path further, listening to the sounds of nature. Sakura would occasionally say something to Sasuke, and he would sometimes answer her, though mostly he just listened to her voice.
They were walking like this when at one point Sakura stopped abruptly. She didn't expect to see it - the necklace. It glinted in the sunlight from behind the store window. Tentatively, fearing that her memories would return with redoubled force, she approached the glass. Sasuke stepped behind her, asking incessantly what had happened, but she didn't have the strength to answer him. She had to see it first. Was it the same one?
Yes, it was. A gold necklace with green stones. Sakura remembered it perfectly. She always had it around her neck. Even on the day she died.
She put her hand to the glass, staring at the jewelry. Her face appeared in front of her eyes again. It had been so long since Sakura had seen her.
"Sakura!"
She almost jumped when she heard his voice so close to her.
"Oh, sorry, Sasuke. We can go on now."
"Sakura." He crossed his arms over his chest "We're not going until you tell me what happened."
"Nothing you should worry about."
She wanted to elude him, but he blocked her path. She couldn't lie to him. She couldn't... He had told her so much, shared so many secrets, and she wanted to leave him unanswered. That would be unfair.
"See that necklace?" Sasuke nodded "It used to belong to my auntie." she pronounced the word for the first time in a good ten years; she missed it "My mother was friends with one girl since she was a kid. And so it worked out that this woman also became close to me. She spent every spare day with me. Until one day, when she took me for a walk, she fell while climbing the hill I wanted to take her up. To this day I remember her immobility. She didn't even scream when her back made contact with the ground." Sakura wishes she could stop blaming herself "Nothing, fortunately, serious happened to her, but she was discovered to have cancer. She was dying every day for a whole year, and I was sitting next to her. That's why I don't like hospitals. I associate them badly."
She knew that people were mostly treated there, but the mere sight of those white walls and glaring fluorescent lights overwhelmed her. Sakura preferred to stay away from that place. She rarely wanted to visit hospitals unless the situation called for it. Only once in Konoha did she encounter a sudden need to go there - Sasuke. Then she could run in there without any problem, just to save him.
"Why didn't you ever say that?"
"Hmm, I assume due to the fact that my brain had long ago pushed the events out of my mind. It was too hard an experience for me. And after her death, the world didn't stop at all, it just pushed forward uninterruptedly." She took his hand and pulled him along; they had to go on "Here you couldn't have a day off if you wanted to survive. You needed money, so every day had great value."
"It's awful."
"True, but that's how life works."
Sakura didn't want to tell him that they had passed her house not so long ago, that because of her death her teenage life had not been the least bit enjoyable or pleasant, as she was often haunted by nightmares and dark thoughts, and that when she said goodbye to her home before traveling to Konoha, she had visited her for the last time.
"And that necklace?"
"She didn't have any family, so the people who moved into her house probably sold it to a jeweler. Since my mother wasn't able to go into her house after her death and take what she wanted, and she didn't let me in there, I won't blame those people for finally taking it out." she shrugged her shoulders "They didn't know her after all."
In her mind, she begged Sasuke not to ask another question. Talking about the matter was causing her a lot of pain anyway. And she already thought she had freed herself from that suffering. Her life was divided into childhood, emptiness, returning to reality and going to Konoha. That's why she usually skipped her teenage years.
Sasuke, thanking the universe, did not ask another question. He only muttered under his breath and squeezed her hand tighter, then moved ahead at a faster pace.
They reached Temari in another five minutes. A small bell notified the woman of their arrival. She walked out of the utility room, smiling broadly.
"I already thought you wouldn't make it."
She leaned against the countertop next to the cash register.
"I couldn't let you down."
Sakura stood in front of her, nudging her nose with the tip of her finger.
"I wouldn't be sorry, I'd be more envious that you were able to have fun all day with-"
"Temari!" she interrupted her at just the right moment.
What was she thinking! Sakura turned red all over her face.
"Well what? You can smell it in the air."
Sakura blushed even more. Sasuke looked confused. And that's a good thing. He had better not think about what her friend had said. That would be humiliating, since they hadn't even slept together for a long time.
She was the one who could say inappropriate things...
"The only thing that can be smelled here is your herbs." she muttered, though she wished she sounded more confident, "I didn't come to talk. You were supposed to give me something."
"Yeah, yeah. Don't get so tense." She chuckled cheerfully "Sasuke isn't that smart."
"I understood very well what you said." he replied, sulkily.
Instead of blushing again, Sakura laughed at the sight. He was able to make her laugh even unconsciously.
"Mhm," Temari winked at her "I'm already giving it to you." She put three ointments on the tabletop and one bag of herbs "This one is for all kinds of bruises, this one for headaches; it disappears right away; and this one for warming up muscles. They're all brilliant." She packed them one by one into the net "And these herbs you brew and drink when you feel a cold starting to catch you." she handed the net to Sakura "I remember that you had the biggest problems once with these things, so I figured I'd give them to you. Tomorrow I'm leaving for the north to get new herbs, so we won't meet again."
Sakura smiled sadly and embraced Temari, pulling her tightly to her. The vision of another separation left a bitter aftertaste.
"I will miss you," she said.
"I'll miss you too."
They embraced like this, it might have seemed, indefinitely, until finally they pulled away from each other, and a question came from Sasuke's lips:
"Do you have that ointment for scars?"
"Huh?" Sasuke just stared at her, waiting for an answer, "I do, but it hasn't gone on sale yet, because I don't know how it works yet. Sakura—"
"Good. I'll pay."
He took money out of his pocket and put a certain amount on the table.
"You don't need—"
"Here." she gave the ointment to Sasuke "You really should add it to the offer. It works great."
Temari smiled softly at him. Sakura already knew that she liked him. And that was the most important thing for her.
Sometimes Sasuke wondered how many more secrets Sakura hid. How much suffering was lurking beneath the layers she had put on for so many years.
He wanted to find out all this and be able to help her regain what she had lost. To take her in his arms and shelter her from the world. To show that there is a person beside her who is able to give up his entire soul just for her happiness.
Sasuke got the support he needed from her and wanted to repay her with the same.
He walked into the house and put the groceries down on the countertop. He could hear Sakura in the living room. She was probably reading something. She did not speak up, however. It hadn't been like her for some time.
He took a small package from his pocket and walked over to his wife. Sakura was sitting on the couch with her legs pulled up to her chin and her hair pinned up with a clasp. He stood behind her. She looked up at him from her newspaper and before she could ask a question, he kissed the back of her neck, then took out a necklace and fastened it around her neck.
She placed her hand on the gift, and her eyes glazed over. Sakura turned to face him. Sasuke put his arm around her face, wiping tears from the corners with his thumbs.
"Thank you, Sasuke-kun."
She put her arms around his neck, pulled him close and placed a tender kiss on his lips.
Sasuke didn't think twice. He didn't ask himself questions in his head about whether he should. He knew he had to. The way she looked at that necklace. The way she told that story with sadness. The way with what love she recalled that woman. Sasuke already knew then.
It's not hard to imagine the pain after losing someone close to you. The suffering then is excruciating, even burning. Your thoughts all try to run away from this grief and the grip on your heart, but at some point they return to it, sending you suffering. Sasuke has experienced this. Not once, not twice. A friend, a teammate, one grandmother and grandfather, and an aunt died. Each of these deaths affected him tremendously. Some would think that after so many times it's easier to come to terms with the loss - absolutely not true; for him it was much harder. But it was harder for him to cope when he had nothing that had once belonged to that person.
After Gaya died, he got nothing. Her belongings were taken for research and never returned. Her house was razed to the ground because someone had bought up a plot of land and wanted to put up a new one. Sasuke never once, after she left this world, set foot in it.
And until now, he regretted not sneaking in there to pick up at least one thing that could help him with his suffering.
That's why he didn't have to deliberate whether buying her that necklace was a good idea, because he knew it was. And if he could help her in this way, he was happy. So was she now.
Sakura walked, sat, lay, cooked and always reflexively put her hand on the necklace. Her smile returned, because although she no longer had her auntie by her side, at least she had Sasuke, who made each of her days a new experience, a new love that she could explore thanks to him.
She expressed her gratitude in every gesture - at night she would snuggle up to him a little more, stroke his hair, give him little kisses; in the morning she would wake him gently and prepare breakfast; in the afternoons she would take him for walks around the prettiest places in her village; in the evenings she would read aloud a book she had taken with her that reminded her of him.
Yes, Sasuke was happy.
The next day passed quickly for them. Sasuke and Sakura didn't do much, still enjoying this freedom. They went about their tasks without much stress; starting and ending the day with no pressure on their souls. Such a life suited them, they both found, but Konoha was waiting. Unresolved issues, responsibilities and secrets threatened them all.
This is what was keeping Sasuke awake at night. If he could have asked for one thing at this moment, it would have been to resolve the issue with Sakura's unexplained stalking and attacking without unnecessary bloodshed.
A cool breeze blew in through the unsealed windows. Sasuke sat stiffly on the couch, staring at the letter that had just been delivered by the mailman. How did Fugaku know where Sasuke was going? He probably had to ask someone. Although, he still found it strange. He didn't share the exact address with anyone. Maybe Sakura did, he didn't ask her. Yet he was afraid that if he opened it he would see not his father's handwriting, but that sick bastard who had been following them for some time.
The door slammed shut with a bang. Sasuke almost jumped up.
"Hi, Sasuke-kun!" greeted Sakura. It was good that she was back; at least he knew she was safe "What do you have there?"
She leaned over him, kissing him on the temple.
Sasuke didn't know if telling her this without reading the letter first would be a good idea, but he promised himself never to keep any business from her again.
"My father sent me a letter. I don't know what's in it yet."
"Then we'll find out soon."
She sat down next to him, expecting him to start reading. He just looked at her, clutching the envelope in his hands nonstop.
"Are you sure? Why don't I read it myself first?"
"Are you afraid of what's in there? Or are you sensing?"
Sasuke already knew he wasn't going to let up.
"I just don't want to make you uncomfortable with my father's words. And after the last meeting, it could say anything there, Sakura."
"I'll survive." She assured, placing her hands on her lap.
He was further unconvinced by this, but decided not to delay. He opened the envelope and unfolded the crumpled piece of paper. The writing, sadly not sadly, belonged to his father. Fugaku did not spare himself the ink. He began:
"Dear son, I decided that I can no longer keep you away from what is happening in Konoha. Or perhaps more so what is not happening. But starting from the beginning. I followed your suggestion and joined the main three of Konoha's council. There, I mentioned my concerns about our clan and they promised to provide me with more security on the outskirts of our walls. However, nothing more is known to them. For what it's worth, the more interesting thing is that nothing suspicious has happened since you two left. As if a deathly silence had fallen." He paused to take a breath "Don't you think this is a strange thing? Maybe I was right after all and Sakura has something to do with it..." he paused momentarily, looking at her uncertainly "Sakura, I think it—"
"Keep reading." she said sharply. She looked devastated, but only for a split second. Then she assumed the mask of "Please, Sasuke."
Should he comply with her request? No matter how much he didn't want to, he couldn't say no. He went on:
"Her parents have certified that they are normal civilians from a normal village, but we can never be sure of anything. The world has been on the brink of war since the dawn of time. That's why we can't be sure that they haven't plotted something. That they haven't sent us a spy. Our clan is well known all over the world. More than one person would like our eyes. Our blood. Think it over. I only give you my guesses. This woman could be dangerous and being in the same room with her could bring us doom. I hope this letter reached you and you are well. Your father." He finished in one exhale "This is some nonsense. You, a spy? He's crazy."
Sasuke was furious. Really furious. And it had been a long time since he had felt such strong, hateful emotions.
"Mhm," Sakura stood up "I'm definitely not a spy." she laughed, although one could sense the sadness in this "But as for the rest... Maybe he's right about one thing. Maybe it's because of me that your clan is in a state of risk. How can we be sure that it's you that this person is hunting and not me?" Sasuke didn't even have time to assimilate her question, "Exactly, we don't."
"Sakura, I beg you, this is stupid. What would they want from you, huh?"
"Is that an insult?"
"You're twisting my words."
"All right, Sasuke. You don't have to agree with me. Nor with your father. Nor with anyone else. Everyone has different thoughts on the matter. Each of us is affected by it. But let me have my own opinion here."
They won't achieve anything in emotion, especially an agreement.
"Sakura, we need—"
"I'll go for a walk."
He watched her walk to the door and something about the sight moved him greatly. He approached her with a quick step and grabbed her shoulder.
"Don't go."
"I said I wouldn't leave you, didn't I?"
It was true, but in the back of his mind he had this fear. The fear whispering that she wouldn't come back because something would happen to her or she would fall into another spiral of self-hatred. And yet he let her go.
There it was again. Again she felt terrible. Again, all the responsibility was thrust upon her.
Once again she was to blame. There was no other explanation here. She was the first one to be attacked by the man in the bar, she was the one who he wanted to kidnap, it was because of her that someone broke into their house. She hadn't heard of any of the Uchiha being attacked - just her.
She must have upset that man. She didn't let him get away with it, and it made him angry. Did she understand his supposed death? No, but was it important? She was at fault. And the letter from Fugaku confirmed it. They were looking for her and only her. They were attacking her and only her.
Sakura tried not to think about it any longer, but she couldn't stop thinking. Her head was buzzing. Sasuke and his family were threatened because of her. Sakura didn't want anyone to be hurt because of her.
She needed to do something about it. Move into the shadows.
She turned back, resigning herself to walking no further. She almost ran into the house. Sasuke was sitting in the same place she had seen him last time.
"We're going back to Konoha."
"Sakura?"
"I need to go back to Konoha and meet your father. For the sake of all of us." in a hurry, she didn't have time to explain anything.
"Take it easy. We'll be back in two days, as we agreed." he tried to reassure her.
"No, Sasuke, no. We will return today. Now."
"You'll come back like this without even saying hello?"
Sakura stopped abruptly. She knew that voice. Very well.
Gaara.
He stood with his arms crossed and looked at her expectantly. His red hair fell gently over his eyes, his outfit framed his body, which was now more muscular than Sakura remembered, and his eyes sparkled in the sunlight. He was still the same oasis of calm as before.
Slowly, absorbing the sight of him, she walked over to him and embraced him, like a good old friend.
"It's nice to see you again." she mouthed into his torso.
She really missed him incredibly. Gaara was the only person in their pack who thought most rationally and could solve any problem. He was the string that connected them all. Sakura, of course, got along with Temari and Kankuro together and separately, but still, when it was just the three of them, something was always missing.
"You missed me, I see."
"And how could I not?" she pulled away from him, grabbing his wrists "Oh, I would so love to spend more time with you, but... Certain things are calling me back to Konoha."
The thought of leaving him here now and returning to a place that, besides its magic and new bonds, also had its bad sides, saddened her. As much as she disliked this place, Sakura would have preferred to spend a whole day and two more with Gaara, rather than throw herself into the jaws of the wolf that was Fugaku.
Sometimes she felt like she didn't have her own place on earth. She had only people.
"I just heard." He glanced at her significantly "Are you one hundred percent sure that these things can't wait?"
"Yes, I am. This is a tough topic. I'll explain it to you someday, I promise." if promises had any meaning at all now "But now it's impossible. I have to go back with Sasuke— exactly, Sasuke."
She turned around, finding her husband with her eyes in the same place as before. He looked as if he had frozen. But he continued to breathe. At least that much. He needed to breathe. And because of her, he could stop if she didn't do something about the man over there.
"We introduced ourselves." Sasuke said.
"Yes?"
It wasn't that she didn't believe in his ability to meet new people - he'd let Gaara in, and that was something - but she knew him nonetheless. Sasuke wasn't very friendly at first glance. It wasn't until you got to know him more that you could find a true, loyal friend in him.
"Aa." he finally moved and stood next to her "Gaara came to see you on a slightly different matter."
She was surprised.
"What kind of matter?"
"Because of my brother." he fell silent, but Sakura urged him to go on, "I came back last night when Temari was gone, but she left me a letter. In the morning I had a serious conversation with Kankuro. He asked me to come to your place and hand it to you."
"Huh?" he handed her a small letter. Sakura opened it and began to read - 'I didn't want to bother you at home or anywhere else, because I find that the decision should be yours, so I asked my brother to bring this to you. This is not an easy matter for me, but all I want is your presence in my life. I would like to talk to you about something. Let's meet at our place' - and when she finished, she put the note down on the table "Oh..."
Sasuke and Gaara read it along with her, standing right above her. Sasuke, however, didn't say anything. In the back of her mind, Sakura had their last conversation and what Kankuro had said to him. She didn't know if she should go there. She didn't want to hurt either of them, even if one had already done that to her.
Although, maybe at least their relationship would be stabilized, or worse, something worse would happen. Sakura probably had to get to know her friend anew. And then decide.
"Since you're coming back today, why don't you do it?"
Sakura had already decided that she would go, but it didn't sit well with her that Kankuro had given this task to Gaara exactly.
"He sent you just for this? Even though he knew I hadn't seen you for so long, he continued to use you for this instead of letting you spend time with me." she said quickly and harshly, as she was upset by it all.
"In fact, it was thanks to him that I was able to see you now." She looked at him questioningly "I was supposed to leave for another village in the morning, but he asked me to do so, and I went to get my trip postponed until this evening." his voice was so calm that Sakura's muscles relaxed a bit "But relax, the next village I'll be going to is Konoha. I'll be in it for two days, so I've already planned my work so that I can visit you."
A warm feeling spread inside her. This would be the first time any of her friends would visit her. She secretly dreamed of it. She longed to show them how she lives. How good it is in Konoha. To assure them that all is well with her.
"That's great!" she clapped her hands; she didn't yet know what would happen next. She touched Sasuke's shoulder, "I'll be back soon."
"Mhm."
This time he let her go without worry. Sasuke also understood that Sakura needed to solve her problems alone; at least for now. Out of the corner of her eye, she still saw that Sasuke had gone to get their luggage - he wasn't going to discuss her desire to go home.
They left together with Gaara. She didn't want to let him go anymore, oh no, but she had to. There, to the north, on a hill overlooking the entire village landscape, Kankuro sat waiting for her.
Once again, she embraced Gaara.
"See you later." she whispered.
"Take care." He patted her on the back.
She waved goodbye to him and moved finally to where everything could begin again or end permanently. She was not separated by a great distance. She reached the place in five minutes. She climbed unhurriedly, admiring the endless forest and the flowing river. She loved coming here when she was a kid. She remembered sitting at the very top and reflecting on life, imagining the other possibilities that might one day await her. After two years, she led Kankuro here when he was feeling terrible after an argument with his siblings and wanted to meditate. He was the only one she shared this secret with.
Sakura reached the top of the hill. With her back to her sat Kankuro. She sat down next to him, neither of them looking at each other.
"You came,"
"You wanted me to come." she said it so weakly and quietly that she was surprised that anything could be understood.
"That's true. But I didn't think you'd show up. Not after the last time." He looked at her for the first time "I'm not here to apologize to you. I didn't do anything to you."
Yes, it wasn't her Kankuro. Something had changed him and turned him into an unknown person. No matter how much she wanted their friendship to last, she couldn't have any more contact with such a person.
That hurt. She had already lost so much.
"You hurt someone close to me."
He didn't speak. He started humming a song she knew very well. They had sung it so many times together at meetings, outings, walks. It belonged to them.
"I missed you, very much." he said, bringing his hand closer to her palm.
Sakura moved away slightly.
"I missed you too,"
"As you already know, I found a job where they pay well. I'll be able to build a house next year."
Subconsciously, she knew where this was going.
"Oh, that's brilliant. You've always dreamed of it."
"You too."
Sakura felt uncomfortable. Kankuro was doing everything he could to just nail her to the wall. He further disbelieved in her happiness.
"That's true, but I've already achieved that dream."
He suddenly moved restlessly, then stood up, towering over her. She felt awkward about this, so she also rose.
"Okay, listen to me, Sakura." he tucked his hands in his pockets "I'm not telling you this because I want to brag or something, but I want to let you know with this that I can provide you with a better life. I can finally afford it."
"Wha— What are you talking about, Kankuro?"
"You won't have to continue being his wife anymore. You and your parents will be able to rely on me."
"But... I want to be his wife."
"Stop doing everything for others. Finally do something for yourself."
This was too much.
"And how are you sure I would want to be with you?" she almost hissed through a clenched jaw "And above all, I don't need a man to provide me with a sufficient life. I can earn it myself. You marry for love, not for profit. So?"
Kankuro bit his lip. She knew he was going to say something that would cut the last line connecting her to him. Will it hurt? It already did, but some relationships were probably only good in the past and had no future.
"It shows, Sakura." and it happened.
Sakura didn't look back. She walked quickly and avoided all obstacles. She could hear his footsteps behind her. He was practically running to catch up with her.
"Sakura! Wait!"
"Don't ever think like that again!"
She was approaching the house. She could already see the door. Kankuro's voice was blurring in the wind. She grabbed the handle, opening it, and that's when she heard the last sentence spoken by him, which she remembered for the rest of her life:
"Why do you want to stay with him when you don't even love him?!"
"These are my feelings! How are you supposed to know who I love and who I don't!"
Sakura slammed the door. She could feel Sasuke behind her. She always felt his presence.
She had no strength for anything.
"It's a lie, Sasuke. It's not true." she tried to explain, but her voice sounded so helpless.
"Don't explain yourself. I know."
He knew... Yes, he knew. But she didn't know what was going on anymore. Her head was humming so much. It turned black in front of her eyes.
"I've had enough."
She fell to her knees.
Tears ran down her cheeks on their own. Sakura did not control them. They flowed, and with them all the grief, suffering, anger and sadness combined into a salty liquid. Her breathing unexpectedly stopped and accelerated. Sometimes she couldn't get oxygen to her lungs.
She had no idea what was happening around her. She only felt a sort of distant touch, warm and secure.
Beyond that, only memories surrounded her. Her parents, the death of her grandmother and the memory of her auntie's death, the accusations from Fugaku, the situation with Kankuro. Nowhere did she find peace. Her own head was attacking her. It wanted to take away her remaining will to live. And she couldn't give in to it. She had already been through so much, she couldn't give up now.
She had Sasuke. She had Temari and Gaara. Itachi and Shisui. And also Ino, Naruto and Lee. She was no longer alone.
And yet, at that moment, she felt as if there was only her and her thoughts, which were fighting a battle with each other. And she was losing. A strange pain was winning.
She will get up and be stronger, but not today and not tomorrow.
Sasuke moved her to the couch. He wrapped a blanket around her and pulled her close. He didn't say anything to her. He stroked her hair, humming quietly over her ear the song his mother used to sing him to sleep.
The clatter of footsteps sounded.
This endless silence was finally broken. It disappeared, chasing away unbearable thoughts. Her stern friend dissolved with the sound, and his place was taken by the lover.
He wiped away a lone tear with his hand, corrected her smudged mascara and kissed her cheek.
emotional rollercoaster in the next chapters ;p
let me know what you think in the comments!