Chapter 20: Vey

The Jedi Masters home was quite beautiful, nestled on a small mesa, surrounded on two sides by rock walls Vey's hermitage was the perfect mix of both artistic, and functional. The single-story home was built of the same white stone that had been used in the city below, but it had been painted over the years, swirls of colors and symbols adorned the outer walls and walk way leading up to the front door. An open crack in the mountain allowed the sun to shine down on the small dome like structure attached to the house's right side, the dome build of some transparent substance allowing the sun to reach the hydroponic garden within, even from here, Bayla could see the green of the plants within.

She has been here a long time, the Bann Princess realized, not surprising considering her very long life, and her choice to distance herself from the Jedi, and the rest of the galaxy.

Not that the place showed no signs of being a home to a Jedi. To the right of building a small training yard had been set up. A balance beam, and pillars of differing height rose from the sandy floor. One of the cliff faces had been turned into a rock wall, with hand grips on the lower levels, so a person could get started on their journey up.

Bayla smiled.

Dad had trained here, she knew, when he was about eighteen, he had returned to the Jedi Order as an acolyte, dividing his time between his business with Uncle Coop and completing his training with Master Vey.

She could almost see it now, her father as a young man climbing that rock wall, or using the Force to lift objects while standing on his hands on one of those pillars. He…

She blinked.

Wait!

There was a young man balancing on one of those pillars!

She could not see his face, he had his back to her, but she could see short black hair cut in the style of a Jedi Padawan. The young Force sensitive was balancing on his right hand alone, while three small rocks orbited his body.

Bayla shook her head.

Even from here she could sense the young man's power. Not that there was any doubt of that, few Paladina she knew could do what he was doing, not without years of experience anyway.

As the cart came to a stop, she noticed the smoke rising from the chimney. Between that, and sense of the master's presence, was enough to confirm that Vey was at home.

The door opened as Bayla stepped into the yard. Vey emerged, a gentle smile on her youthful face. Pale skinned with short pointed ears; most would have thought Vey a padawan learner.

Until you looked into her eyes.

The Jedi Master's eyes told of an ancient power, to look upon her with the Force told even more.

She was not young, simply…timeless.

Perhaps as timeless as the Force itself.

Bayla stopped at the entrance to the master's hermitage, old lessons of royal protocol and manners came to the forefront.

She had been born a princess of Bantoon, and there were certain ways to behave when addressing someone who was your superior.

If anyone had the right to claim such a title, Vey Ilo did.

She could have, and perhaps should have, been the Jedi Grand Master for the last few centuries.

If that didn't warrant respect, Bayla did not know what did.

"Princess Bayla," Vey sang out in her musical voice.

"Welcome."

"Master," Bayla replied, bowing respectfully.

"I do hope that you are well."

She waited for the Jedi to return the bow, continue the dance of what most would call proper protocol.

Vey didn't do that.

She came up to Bayla and embraced her. The hug surprised the young Paladina, but she returned it.

It…it felt good. She had been alone for such a long time.

Affection was something she was missing in her life.

It brought back memories of her mother, and of the home that had been lost to her these last few years.

It took all of the girl's Paladina training and willpower, not to sob in the master's arms, grateful to finally find someone who could help, grateful for someone who she could trust.

Vey wouldn't judge her, she believed. Her father had said many times that judgment was not something that his old teacher did. If Bayla had cried, she would have simply held her, and let it go.

Not that Bayla would do that, no, she was still a daughter of the Istillo family. It was not appropriate to lose herself to her emotions like that, Istillo princesses didn't behave that way. Paladina did NOT behave in such a way.

Vey would help her, Even Merrit believed that, and considering what had happened between him and Vey, that said something.

Personally, Bayla didn't see the problem. Merrit had done nothing to convince her that he deserved the treatment his fellow Jedi had given him. To be cast aside…isolated.

No.

Merrit had been nice, he had protected her, and she had come to trust him, but their past…it still made things a bit…difficult.

She hated to admit it, but being around him, eating with him, talking to him. It brought back a lot of old feelings.

She had hoped she had left the lovesick girl behind, but…when he looked at her…sometimes…just sometimes…something stirred in her, something she thought long dead…she…

…no, she thought.

Never again.

The embrace ended, as all things did, Bayla wiped at her eyes.

"It is good to see you," she added.

"And you as well," Vey replied, "I like your haircut, and the color…it reminds me much of your father."

The girl nodded.

"I…I still miss him, master. Even after all this time."

Vey nodded, her eyes turning thoughtful, sadness washed over her briefly before fading away.

"I miss him as well. He was a good student, a great Jedi…"

Her smile returned, but slightly pained.

The master had known many in her long life, and many of them were gone now, while she continued on.

What could that feel like?

She let the pain pass away, and again met the young woman's eyes.

"…And he was a good friend."

The Master looked over her shoulder. Coop's convoy were continuing on up the mountain pass, but the smuggler had left his cart, as had Mondar and Merrit.

"Morning Vey," her uncle said, "Found these two at the cantina back in town. Mondar thought it best to bring them to you."

The Jedi nodded.

"Wise as always," she answered, turning to the little Jedi Shadow.

"I hope you didn't cause too much of an uproar in town, Mondar. I felt a sense of panic a few hours ago."

The shadow shrugged.

"Sensed an approaching darkness, I did. Took necessary precautions I did."

Vey nodded. Only then did her eyes settle on the source of the darkness her friend had mentioned.

Merrit Fallenstar said nothing. He held the master's gaze with a cold expression. Though his left hand played with his tie, unbinding it.

Vey gave the barest of nods.

"Hello Merrit," she called out.

"Master," he replied with a slight tilt of his head. His expression giving away nothing.

Bayla tensed.

Even had she not spent the last few days around him; she could sense Ritt's discomfort being here. He had mentioned that he had come to Vey for help, and been dismissed.

He had made it plain that he had not wished to come up here, with her. Yet, now, here they were, all of them standing before Vey's home.

The Jedi gave him a soft smile.

"Mondar would you be so kind as to show Bayla inside, and, if you would be so kind, inform Zhar that we have guests."

"Be done, it shall," the little one said, motioning for Bayla to follow him.

She obeyed, leaving Merrit, Coop and Vey facing each other in the yard.

Bayla frowned slightly.

She wasn't quite sure she liked the idea of leaving Merrit alone, he was not in the best of spirits, and any off-hand comment might cause things here to spiral out of control.

"Fine, it will be. Knows what she is doing, Vey does."

Bayla nodded, hoping the little shadow was right.

He called out to the boy on the pillar, she guessed this was the Zhar that the master referred too.

She was most eager to meet him, curious in fact. Yet…

She glanced over her shoulder again. Coop was leaving the cart pulling away.

Vey and Merrit were walking together, she could not hear what was being said, but could tell that things were tense.

One didn't need the Force to tell that.

What did a Dark Jedi turned Bounty hunter have to say to a Jedi Master, she wondered.

Whatever it was, she hoped that it remained cordial.

She had spent much time in the presence of death and violence.

It would be nice to avoid it here. Here, in the one place where she might just find the help she needed, the help her world needed.

Be nice, Ritt, she thought.

Please be nice.

IOI

Please be nice.

He heard Bayla's voice whisper to him through the Force.

Merrit just suppressed a sneer.

She need not worry.

He had no desire to screw things up for her, and would do nothing that might do so.

He pulled at his tie, just resisted the urge to gasp as he tightened to an uncomfortable degree.

He yanked his hand away loosening it with deft fingers. Though he did cough slightly.

The master pretended not to notice.

He was grateful for Bayla's sake, if nothing else.

For her, he thought, and the memory of my master.

Bayla needed Vey's help, and her protection.

She was a far better choice to help her than he ever could be.

He could offer her nothing, but the baggage of their past.

Bayla deserved so much more.

She deserved…better.

As Coop's cart rattled out into the distance, carrying the old smuggler with it. Vey motioned to him with her finger.

"Let us take a walk," she said.

He followed, even as she paused to let him catch up, so that they could walk side by side.

She seemed unconcerned about his presence, which surprised him.

Never come back.

He frowned.

Her order had been quite clear.

Yet now, here they were.

"I was not sure you would see me again," he said.

"Why was that," she inquired.

"Never come back," he repeated, "That is what you said to be three years ago, yes?"

Vey winced.

"You misheard me, young one. I said: Do not return, until you are ready to begin walking the road back."

Merrit blinked.

Had she said that?

He…he couldn't quite remember now.

That lack of memory angered him. Her calm demeanor angered him.

"I needed help," he hissed, "I asked for your help."

"There was nothing I could do for you then. You were not ready."

"Ready?" he spat, "How…how can someone not be ready when they ask you to help them?"

Vey's expression remained neutral, but he could sense a flash of disappointment beneath her passive face.

"You didn't come for help. You came for retraining. You thought that it would help you reopen yourself to the light."

She shook her head.

"You came for power, and you were not ready. Your heart and mind were NOT where they needed to be."

She sighed.

"Your heart was filled with fear and anger. Angry at yourself for being betrayed. Angry at Jas for becoming one with the Force, and leaving you alone. Angry that you had not seen through Avaryss' betrayal, and you were so afraid. Afraid of what the Jedi would do to you. Afraid that you were no longer fit to stand among them."

She crossed her arms.

"If I had taken it upon myself to try and retrain you, with so much fear and anger in your heart. You could have taken that training to a very dark place, grown stronger in your anger, anger that could have morphed into true hate.

The Jedi shook her head.

"No, Merrit, I could not do that. You were dangerous enough. You came to me a troubled young man. I would not give that man what he needed to become a monster. A monster that likely WOULD have returned to Darth Avaryss, served her out of the darkest of desires."

He opened his mouth once or twice. Wanted to deny, wished that he could deny it…

…alas, he could not.

Vey was not wrong.

Had he fallen deeper down the dark path, her training would have only made him stronger. Part of him, even now, longed for a greater strength in the dark side. Even though he consciously tried to resist.

He had wanted power, power to make Avaryss pay. Power that would have corrupted him further.

Merrit didn't deny any of that. He could not.

How many times in the last few years, when he had gotten low, that he had thought about going to Bantoon. Begging Avy's forgiveness, and asking for a second chance to stand at her side…

…to be…with his children.

He clenched his fist impotently.

She…she was right, he hated to admit it, but she was absolutely right.

Damn it.

The Jedi Master had managed to put into words what he had not been able to, not at the time, and not in the years since.

His hand went to his tie, it had come undone when he had pulled at it.

He looked down at Vey, feeling a sense of shame.

She had not turned him away lightly; in his anger he had blamed her for doing so.

Perhaps the other Jedi had looked upon him with contempt, but not her. She had lived a long time, seen much, and done much more.

"What about now," he asked, "Tell me what you are sensing now?"

She looked him over, he could sense the strength of her regard, it made him feel…vulnerable somehow.

Yet, he refused to back down.

He wouldn't.

He would face what she saw.

"The fear is gone," she answered, "You have come to accept what you are, and your place in the galaxy. Some anger remains, but that is not directed at me, or Jas. It is directed at someone who can no longer defend himself, someone that you will need to forgive if you are to move forward."

"Who?" Merrit demanded.

Vey gave him a sad smile.

"The one person that you can't seem to forgive even now."

She placed her hands on his shoulders, he found himself looking into those ageless eyes, drawn into them.

"If you want to find the way back, you are going to have to let go of the last of your anger. You…are going to have to forgive Fenn Shadowstone."

His eyes narrowed.

"He was naïve," Merrit spat, shrugging her hands from his shoulders, "He didn't understand what he was playing with, the forces he was trying to control."

"We did talk about this three years ago, you explained to me what happened. Was it truly his fault?"

Merrit growled.

"He thought he could save Avy. I…he…thought that he could out manipulate a Dark Lord of the Sith. He believed his connection to her would make it possible, and that he could pull her back into the light. Instead…she drowned him in darkness, corrupted him with her charms and emotions."

He shook his head.

"He let the darkness in willingly on Tatooine. He…I believed I was doing it to save someone. Major Locke was dying. I…he…"

"You let the darkness in," Vey said.

Merrit snarled, but nodded.

Yes.

He had done that.

Fenn had done that!

Fenn Shadowstone had been a fool!

"I damned myself, and everyone around me has been paying the price ever since."

Again, Vey reached out to him, her hand on his arm.

"He failed," Merrit murmured.

"He failed everyone."

Vey didn't say anything, not for a few moments, she gave him a chance to look into that darkness, see what was there.

Only then…did she offer what she believed.

"We cannot say that you failed, not just yet."

He almost laughed, but she stopped him with a raised hand, silencing any angry retort.

"You went into a dark place, yes, but you did it for the right reason. To save a life, answer me this, son of Fallenstar. If you could do it again, change what you did. Would you do it? Would you let Gilly Locke die?"

He considered that.

What would have happened? Capistan would have been devastated. Avy would have used that in some way, he was sure, and Fenn would have blamed himself for refusing to go down that path. He would have been frustrated, angry even…may even come to hate himself for that weakness.

Would that have been better?

Major Loke would have been dead. She…

He shook his head.

"No, master," he replied, " Despite everything…I…I stand by that decision…even now."

Vey smiled.

As for the failure to redeem one walking the dark path, that fight is still ongoing. You will not know the true end of that story until you face your destiny."

"My destiny," he said, "And what would that be?"

Vey gave him a knowing look.

"You WILL face Darth Avaryss again, and then, and only then…will you know if you truly failed to save a Sith, and return them to the light."

Merrit's eyes narrowed.

He still remembered his last encounter with Avy. Her Force lightning burning his skin, the brand she had left burned into his chest.

He thought Vey was being naïve, but then again…

The thought of facing Avaryss, that was quite daunting as well.

He almost told her in that moment. Told her about the children, but he resisted. He doubted that she would understand.

He would face Avaryss, but when he did…could he do what was necessary, if she refused to turn away from her path.

Could he kill the mother of his child?

He…he couldn't say, he didn't want to say.

He again turned his attention to the Jedi before him.

"You were not the last Jedi I sought for aid. All the others said that I was lost, that one could not turn away from the dark path."

Vey shook her head.

"I don't believe that, Merrit. Your master didn't believe that. Despite what modern Jedi dogma says, there are roads that lead beyond the darkness."

She sighed.

"Some would say that the dark path is a road that you cannot return from. I do not believe that. I've seen my share of darkness, experienced it first-hand. I was born into darkness, yet, my own master showed me the way into the light. Jas fell as a young man, and found his way back, becoming stronger in the light because of it. Shyra Viel was born into darkness, and she found the light. I don't think you are lost young one, only been misguided, pushed down a dark path by one that desired your fall."

Vey touched his arm again.

"You will always be marked by darkness, but it doesn't have to dominate your destiny. You can choose a new way, a different way. The path changes you, but that doesn't mean that doing what is right is impossible."

She looked into his golden eyes, her own gaze cool, but sympathetic.

"Do you truly believe there is no hope? Do you think that you are lost forever?

His brow furrowed. He found himself thinking about everything he had done the last few years.

Abductions of criminals, contract kills on corrupt officials, he prided himself on the fact that he had allowed no collateral damage, hurt no one that was not involved in his contracts. The truly innocent had been safe.

Many of those big jobs came back to him now. The Kord Sammoris hunt, the ending of General Rabbus, and the fall of Darth Narcis, all had paid him well, and he had reveled in the violence of each task.

True Justice, his mother's voice echoed through his head.

Yes, he thought, that ideal had been his justification, and he had never lost a moment's sleep over any of it.

He had done bad things for credits, sure, but he had done good things as well. Protected people, saved them from dangerous situations. He had made friends too…

He thought of Galed Horn and his Corellian refugees, they might have ended up in the Hutt slave markets if not for him. He thought of Tomas Alde, had he not saved the nobleman's life, House Rist of Alderaan might have secured the throne and allied openly with the Sith. He thought of Bok Secura, and that Sullustan reporter Lub Daah. Had he not involved himself in their lives, House Secura would have fallen under the rule of Bok's brother, and both of them would have ended up dusty skeletons in the Ryloth bright lands.

Then…there had been the women, those that had offered him a taste of life beyond what a Jedi sought.

He thought of Xixa, cunning and manipulative, he had not to trust see easily in her arms. He thought of T'wyn Secura, who taught him how to move among the high and mighty. Her uncle would have sold her into slavery if he had not been there, her mind blunted by the strongest spice, her fierce will and cunning mind would have been erased. Fable Asher…who…

He winced.

As he stood before Master Vey, he found himself admitting something he had not before.

He HAD fallen in love with Fable Asher. It had hurt to leave her, even though he knew it was the right thing to do. They would have continued getting into more and more dangerous jobs until one of them killed them both, killed her.

Only by leaving could he hope to save her life. It had not been easy, it had hurt like hell, but he had done it.

He looked back toward Vey's dwelling, he could sense Bayla within.

Was it not smarter to leave now, before he became even more entangled in her life.

Was it not better to let her find her way back to the light, all he could do was drag her down.

All he could offer was darkness.

He tried to think of others now.

Was that not what a Jedi would do?

He looked down at the Jedi Master.

Was he truly lost?

He gave her a sad smile.

"I don't know if I'm truly lost or not, master, but I do know that you must help Bayla, for the sake of Jas' memory, if nothing else."

He sighed.

"I should go," he added, "My exile is not done, and…and I still have much to do, to see if the Force is willing to take me back."

His hand played idly with his unbound tie, he tried to fix it himself, but found he could not.

Vey took pity on him, she stepped forward.

"I would like you to stay," she said, her small fingers fixing his tie.

"As I said, you are no longer lost in fear and anger. You know who you are now, it is a place to start."

"To start what?" he asked.

"The road back, you have tried to walk alone through the darkness, and have done well, considering…"

She smiled.

"Perhaps together we can help you find a way through the night, and help you reach the dawn."

She finished with his tie, and stepped back, he touched it, finding it fixed perfectly.

"Let us see if we can't pierce the veil of darkness, you have been trapped under for so long. I will not force you to stay, if you wish to leave, I will not stop you, but I would like you to stay, and I'm sure Bayla would as well..."

"I don't know," he answered.

"One last try, Merrit, for Jas."

He considered it, and found himself thinking of his Jedi Master. He could see Jas' concerned look, and standing next to him, his mother.

Merrit sighed.

Hell, he thought.

Why not?

"I'll stay," he said.

The Jedi Master grinned.

He smiled back.

"For Jas."

A/N: A question for you dear readers, would any of you like to hear the stories of Merrit's adventures before this story. I mentioned a few here, and am considering doing Star Wars: Fallenstar. If that is something you would like to hear, shoot me a review and let me know. Avy will be back next chapter, and that should be soon. Until then, my readers.

May the Force serve you well.

DG