Chapter Four - Emotions
The following morning, Sam wakes up to the smell of bacon, so he quickly makes a trip to the bathroom and completed him morning routine, then walks down the stairs and walks into the kitchen to see Dean standing in front of the stove top frying up the bacon and eggs without a shirt on. Sam has to take a second to appreciate the view of Deans muscular arms and defined six pack, then clears his throat and walks into the room looking anywhere but at Dean "Morning" Sam says croakily as he walks over to the coffee pot to fill one of Bobby's mugs hanging on the mug tree.
"Ah, morning Sammy, I knew bacon would get you out here" Dean says smiling at Sam in greeting
"You should probably put on an apron" Sam says chucking
"Yeah, I realised that the further along I went but I didn't want to wear Bobby's 'Kiss the Cook' apron" Dean replies chuckling as he puts a serving of bacon and 2 eggs on a plate for Sam. "Can you grab the toast for me" he asks as he puts the rest of the bacon and eggs on a second plate for himself.
Sam puts the toast on a plate and grabs the butter from the refrigerator and walks over to the dining table sits down and smiles at Dean "Thanks you for breakfast" he says as he grabs his knife and fork and starts to eat
"You're welcome…" Dean started eating as well and moaned as he took his first bite "hhmmmm, this is really good, I couldn't believe Bobby had the good maple bacon"
"It is pretty good, very unlike Bobby to have the fancy bacon" Sam has been expecting Bobby to come stomping onto the kitchen any minute.
"I think he got it for you, he did get up really early, he probably went into town and bought a few things" Dean says
"Where is Bobby?" Sam asks
"I'm here" Bobby says as he walks in through the back door looking agitated "Ah sorry Sam you need to go down to my storage room right now and lock to door behind you… your father is on his way"
"What?" Dean and Sam say together as they both stand quickly making their chairs fall to the floor with a loud clatter.
"One of my buddies from town just called me and let me know he saw your father's car headed this way, get going now, take your breakfast and your coffee and get down their now" Bobby says picking up Sam's plate for him and starts pulling Sam over towards the door that goes down to the basement.
"Don't worry Sammy, we'll keep him away from the basement" Dean says as he cleans away any other evidence that there was an extra person in that kitchen.
"We'll protect you Sam, ok" Bobby says as he watches Sam descend the stairs.
"Thanks, just let me know when he's gone" Sam says as Bobby closes the door and darkness envelopes the room. Sam walks over to where he saw a battery-operated lantern siting before the light went out and flicks the switch. The soft light from the lantern helped him to not feel so claustrophobic as he takes a seat to wait out his father's ominous presence.
After about 10 minutes of anxious waiting, Bobby and Dean can hear the rumbling of John Winchester's impala as he drives up to the front of the house. The creaking of the door as it opens marks Bobby's time to move towards the door "What the hell are you doing here?"
"That's not a very polite way to greet an old fried Bobby" John says menacingly as he starts to walk up the steps towards him.
"We aren't friends John; I think the last time you were here I told you not to come back here" Bobby says as he walks down a few steps to stop the eldest Winchester progress.
"I'm not here for me Bobby, I need to know if Sam is here?" John asks severely
Dean picks up the loaded shotgun standing beside the door and watches the scene taking place outside. He is more than prepared to shoot John Winchester if he did anything at all to Bobby or Sam.
"And I told you over the phone that I haven't heard from him" Bobby retorted
John chuckled at that as he side steps Bobby so he was standing on the same step "See I don't believe you… Sam only had a few people that he knew well enough that he would contact if he needed help.. I was one of them and the other is… you" he said as he went up one more step closer to the front door.
"Well, I haven't heard from him, and I haven't seen him so I don't know how I can help" Bobby moved up the steps, so he was right in front of the door. "I want you to leave…now"
John looked over Bobby's should towards the figure standing just indie the door. "Well, well, look who it is, Dean'o my boy, maybe you've seen my son"
"I'm not your boy… you left me for dead a few months ago in Alabama… I had to make my own way to a hospital with a broken clavicle… Why the hell would I help you… even if I had seen your son. Sounds like Sam was smart enough to leave your sorry ass" Dean responded
"You're ok aren't you? You didn't really need me did you? what's the problem?" John asks each question without waiting for answer.
"It took months…." Dean growled.
"I'll say it for the last time, I want you to leave… now" Bobby said, and he put his hand out for Dean to place the shot gun in his hand and point it towards John.
"I think the man doth protest too much… I think Sam is here, you wouldn't be pointing that gun at me if you weren't protecting him, he's hiding like the coward he is" John said with a loud voice as he took a step down away from the gun.
"I told you he isn't here… And my gun is pointing at you because you're an ass" Bobby as he cocked the gun "It's time for you to leave"
"Alright fine… but I'll be back. My son is not choosing some snooty school over his family" John stalked down the stairs and towards his car.
Bobby remained standing on the porch with his shotgun pointing towards John, even when he got in and turned around, dust and stones started swirling around as his tires crunched and screeched out of the yard.
"I can't believe that guy had a son" Bobby said gravelly
"Sam doesn't deserve a father like that" Dean said as he stood behind Bobby as John finally turns out of the yard.
"Why couldn't I be enough?" Sam asked softly from inside the house.
Bobby and Dean turned around and walked back inside the house and watched as Sam wiped his eyes. "Hey, I'm not going to let your Dad get anywhere near you" " Dean says vehemently walking closer to Sam.
"Yeah, we'll figure something out for when you go to Stanford to keep you safe" Bobby said trying to alleviate Sam's fears.
"How are you going to protect me from here? Neither of you can stay with me in California forever" Sam said frustrated
"No, but I can get a buddy of mine to keep his eye on you" Dean said sarcastically
"Oh yeah, who is this buddy?" Sam asks enquiringly
Bobby just stood there and watched them both with an amused smirk. He wanted to mark his calendar as the day that he witnessed a spark between these two and he wouldn't be surprised if they ended up together.
"I helped him with a poltergeist problem, and he owes me" Dean said with a shrug
Sam chuckled at that "Right OK, well this guy is going to wish he didn't have to follow me around because I'm going to be super boring" Sam said self depreciatingly
"Well, I already know that you're a nerd, but it's not about that, it's about your dad… he could go and try and kidnap you or something and bring you back against your will, that's what he's going to be there for" Dean said
Sam nodded and smiled at Dean in appreciation "Thanks…"
"Alright, I've gotta go and help out one of my neighbours with their car, Dean, are you still working on your car?" Bobby asked as he went and grabbed his toolbox and walked to the door. "Sam, you take some time to chill and just ruminate over everything that's happened"
"I'm almost done with the breaks then I gotta do the fan belt next" Dean replied rubbing his hands together.
"No problems, just do what you need to do, I'm gonna be a couple hours" Bobby said as walked out the door and down the steps and into his truck.
Both Dean and Sam yelled out a farewell and sort of stood there looking at each other for a beat, then Dean cleared his throat "I'm going out to the garage to finish off my baby and when your ready, you can come out and sit with me if you want?"
"Yeah, I'll just take a minute and then I'll come out" Sam says rooted to the spot
"No problems, see you in a bit" Dean says as he walks out the door
Sam stood there for a few minutes after Dean had walked outside and his emotions just suddenly came bubbling up like a whistling tea pot on the stove. He quickly sat on the stool in front of the kitchen island and put his face in his hands and just let the tears come. The neglect and abandonment that he had felt most of his life along with the aggressive dismissiveness that his father had shown him after he had told him about getting into Stanford just came out through his tears. He could feel his body shaking, his heart was pounding, his arms where all tingly and he felt like he was having a panic attack, like he was going to faint. He hadn't had a panic attack is such a long time, one of his councillors at school had taught him how to ease a panic attack, counting your breaths, grounding techniques and repeating a mantra, so Sam took a few deep breaths, using the breathing techniques that he had used before and after a few minutes he could feel his heartbeat calming down.
Sam wiped his face of tears and breathed in and out again. Once he felt as close to normal as he could be he got up and walked outside towards the garage and where Dean was currently tinkering away at his precious car. Sam sat down in the old squishy leather armchair that sits overlooking the garage workstation, so Sam will have an unobstructed view of Dean as he works away. As Dean slides out from under his car and when he sees Sam sitting in the armchair, he smiles at him then the smile slips a little when he notices his red and puffy eyes. "Hey, are you alright?" he asks the younger man.
Sam nods his head and swallows down the emotion that attempts to creep back in. "Everything just caught up with me I guess…" Sam had been on an emotional rollercoaster and just wanted to move one from his emotional release.
"Well, I think considering everything that's happened in the last few days, you're allowed to have a moment of vulnerability" Dean replied understandably.
"Thanks" Sam says with a small smile.
Dean turns back to his car, and they stay in companiable silence for a while and Sam's thoughts drift. He hopes that when he finally starts his new life in Stanford and when he's having a bad day, that he remembers what he went through and that he has people on his side to help him through it. He knows that it will take a while, but it will get better… eventually.
TBC