Hi! Sorry this took a minute to churn out; it's so silly, but I've been legitimately struggling to write this chapter because of how utterly cringey it was. This is by far my least favorite of the chapters I had written so far, so I'm thankful this is the last rewrite and I can pull straight from the ol' brain box from here on out! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter; it's kind of a slow one, but next chapter should pick up the pace a bit! Happy reading :)

(p.s. the switching back and forth of the names is pretty intentional here; don't think too hard about it, there's not some super deep meaning, but just know that it was done on purpose and not just because I'm an idiot)

Chapter 3

Rachel Roth was very confused.

The obnoxious light pierced her retinas mercilessly, and her eyes instinctually slammed back shut. She rubbed at them before forcing them open again, spying a window across the room that was allowing the flourescent light to pour in. She used her powers to wrench the blinds shut and, with white spots still dancing in her vision, slowly sat up in the bed. Rachel hissed at the throbbing pain summoned by the movement. She reached beneath the thin sheets that had been draped over her to trace the bumpy stitches on her abdomen, then to the larger row on her leg before leaning back onto the pillow with a sigh.

She took a moment to process her surroundings. She was in a hospital room, that much was clear. Less obvious, however, was how she'd ended up here in the first place. She looked to her right, scrunching her nose at the cup of lime-green gelatin set beside a plastic water jug on the small bedside table. Scanning left, she observed a small t.v. mounted on the wall, a wheeled stand with a softly beeping monitor atop it, and the sleeping form of a girl with long, bright orange hair- wait, what? The empath choked on her own shocked gasp, startling said girl awake while she reached for the water, coughing. She took a quick gulp before looking back and meeting Starfire's eyes.

There were no words. They simply gaped at each other for what could have been hours, as far as Rachel was concerned. Say something. What do you say after this much time has passed? Say something. Where could she even begin? Say something. Rachel stayed quiet for as long as she could stand to, but the tension finally became suffocating, and her lips parted to say anything that would break the silence.

Before any words escaped, however, she found herself trapped beneath her old friend, pulled into a hug that could probably kill someone a little smaller than her. Or her. It felt like maybe it could kill her.

She fought the urge to hug back. It was an instinctual thing, still engrained deeply from years ago, and she had to remind herself that she shouldn't. It had been so long since she'd had the privilege of calling this girl her best friend. She didn't know that she even remembered what it was like to have friends anymore. To have anyone but herself. So, instead, she remained stiff in the alien girl's arms, not willing to return the embrace but certainly not in any rush to push her away, either. Try as she might to fend off the nostalgia, something about Starfire still felt a little like home.

"Star-" Rachel wheezed after a minute, and the other girl jolted to release her, standing upright as she tried to discreetly swipe at her eyes. Rachel felt a tug somewhere deep inside her chest.

"Apologies, friend Raven," Kori sputtered, a sincere, teary smile gracing her features. "I am quite relieved to see that you are awake. Do you have any pain?"

Rachel's heart skipped a beat at the mention of her true name, one she hadn't used since leaving the Titans. She did not correct her.

"Thank you, Starfire," she replied in earnest, the name feeling foreign on her tongue but nonetheless slipping out naturally. "I'm fine; whatever these stitches were holding together seems to be mostly healed on the outside, anyways. It... appears I have a lot to catch up on." A slight grimace crossed her face before she schooled her features; she tried to keep calm, but her inability to recall the events leading to this situation was unnerving, to say the least. Just like that, Starfire was placing herself softly on the bed beside her, laying a hand gently over Raven's as she jumped into explaining what she knew.

She told her how Beast Boy (or Garfield, as he apparently preferred now) worked out of this hospital as a paramedic; how Adonis had attacked their green friend, and how Gar believed he was also the one who had harmed Raven; how he was different from before, managing to escape and leaving Gar to become a patient as well. She told her how she'd been in surgery with life-threatening injuries throughout the whole ordeal, and finally, how they were all safe and sound and the only reason the boys weren't here was so that they could ensure Garfield stayed in his room until he was discharged. It turned out the changeling had sustained a relatively minor head wound when Adonis jumped on him, but with a quick bandage job and mild pain relievers, he was claiming he was as good as new. The doctors, to their credit, insisted he be monitored a bit longer to rule out a concussion; maybe deriving a smidge of enjoyment from his irritation, seeing as he was one of their own.

Rachel nodded here and there as she listened, closing her eyes and laying her head back in a vain attempt to recall anything about how she'd acquired her injuries. She huffed when Starfire was finished speaking, and still nothing had resurfaced. Perhaps she'd have a chance to meditate today, to speed up the healing process and also to try and reclaim some of her lost memories.

"Ahem?" A petite nurse knocked lightly as she poked her head into the room before stepping inside completely. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but could I have a moment to speak with Ms. Roth in private?"

Starfire gave Raven's hand a gentle squeeze before letting go, prompting the empath to notice she'd been gripping it throughout the entire recollection of events. It was strange and endearing, how quickly some semblance of 'normal' had returned between the two women after so much time apart. Starfire exited the room, her shadow remaining just behind the closed blinds, and Rachel returned her attention to the nurse.

"Hi there!" the young woman chirped. "We just wanted to let you know that the exam we conducted came back negative for evidence of sexual assault."

Something shattered loudly in the hallway outside the room, accompanied by a smattering of startled screams. Starfire was in the doorway again instantly, a surprised expression gracing her features.

"Excuse me?" Raven managed to choke out, a hint of panic twisting her insides.

"I- what? I-I'm sorry, were you not-?" The nurse took in the look of shock on Rachel's face, mirroring the expression as she glanced back and forth between the patient and her companion at the door. Red colored her cheeks as she stammered. "Oh, oh no, I'm so sorry, I was told- another nurse said that- and I thought you were- oh god, I am so sorry. But, um, it's good news, right? I... I'm gonna give you a moment. I'm so sorry." She shuffled hurriedly out of the room, and even from behind the door Raven could feel the embarrassment rolling off of the poor woman. Starfire appeared at her side, smiling sympathetically.

"Well... she's correct that it is good news, yes?" the alien girl asked softly, inferring what the nurse had come in to speak about. Raven groaned in response, already mentally exhausted from the short time she'd been awake today.

"Why did they think I needed... that?" she queried, uncomfortable repeating the nurse's words verbatim.

"I do not know all of the details, friend Raven, but I believe the condition that you were found in... it seems they assumed the worst," she replied, sighing as she anticipated the empath's next question and continued.

"Richard- Robin- was quite persistent with his pestering, and it was revealed that you were found in an alley covered in blood," she struggled to get the words out, frowning at the unwelcome mental image. "You were severely wounded, a-and your clothing was torn in such a way that it appeared as though... well..."

Raven shot upright with a sharp gasp, her memory abruptly flooding back. She hunched forward and clutched the sheets, her knuckles white and a pained expression gracing her features for a few moments. Starfire reached forward tentatively, but withdrew her hand as Raven seemed to relax again, releasing her death grip on the blanket and dropping her face into her hands. Starfire reached out again, this time placing her hand softly upon the empath's shoulder. Raven drew in a few more shaky breaths before lowering her hands to look up at the ceiling while she spoke.

"I remember. It was Adonis... but it also wasn't," she uttered calmly. "It was his body, his soul, but... I had the distinct feeling that he was under some other sort of influence besides himself. He was..." she shook her head, searching for the right words. "Something was really off, aside from the fact that he attacked me for no reason." Raven reached for the water cup with her powers, moving it gracefully to her hands and taking a sip before she continued.

"He'd been following me for a while," she sighed, "and I stupidly tried to cut through an alley to lose him, but he appeared out of nowhere. I wasn't taking him seriously, of course, until I saw his eyes... they were pitch black, Star. His motives weren't exactly clear, but something seemed to just... snap. He started swinging at me, and the wounds he inflicted weren't something that ordinary fingernails could do. He must've had a knife, or..." she shook her head, sure she must be imagining the long, beastly claws she seemed to recall. "By the time he started tearing at my clothes, I was finally able to teleport away... and I must have lost consciousness at that point," she finished, no other memories appearing between then and waking up in the hospital bed.

Starfire pounced on her again without warning, and this time Raven couldn't help but hug her back. 'You're okay,' she chided herself, feeling silly about the way her heart was still pounding from the onslaught of memory. 'You're fine.'

"Kori?" Starfire jumped up from her ambush and turned to see her fiance, flocked by Garfield and Victor, standing apprehensively in the doorway. She flashed a grin at Raven and ran over to the boys, wrangling all of their collective hands into her own and dragging them closer to the bed. Dick was the first to speak, awkwardly rubbing at the nape of his neck as he did so.

"Hi, Rachel," he smiled gently at her, being sure to use the name he'd rehearsed. "It's good to see you. How are you feeling?"

Rachel returned the smile with a curt nod, unsure how to navigate the uncomfortable pressure building in the air around them. All she knew at this moment was that her chosen monicker sounded odd and forced coming from her old leader's mouth, and she suddenly loathed the name.

"I'm okay," she breathed, then hastily added, "and Raven's fine." Dick's smile grew a little wider, the tension melting away as he dropped his nervous hand and nodded his understanding.

A few more beats of awkward silence passed, leading Victor to suddenly shatter it with a bellow that made them all jump.

"Well, there's our girl!" he barked, clapping Richard on the back and causing the smaller man to stumble forward. "You look exactly the same! I mean, you got those bangs and your hair's a bit longer, but you're still good ol' Raven! Man, where heck have you been?" He asked the obvious question, the one they'd all been dying to ask but didn't know how. The room seemed to hold its breath. Slowly, gently, Gar pushed to the front to finally take her in, staring wordlessly in anticipation.

Raven met his inquisitive eyes and winced; his expression reflected only genuine curiosity, but even in her weakened state, she could feel the pain rolling from him in violent, crashing waves. She glanced around, stiffening under the gazes boring into her, and realized with a pang that there were intense emotions radiating from them all. She looked down and fidgeted with a stray thread dangling from the scratchy blanket in her lap. Excitement, anxiety, and confusion berated her senses, but the steadfast undertone of hurt all around the room strangled her heart with an icy grip that forced her to rein in the magick threatening to lash out.

She understood. Of course she understood. She had abandoned them, had broken her promise to keep in touch, instead seizing the opportunity to run for the hills as soon as she'd been given the chance. She hadn't been able to muster the courage to explain beforehand why she had to leave, that she was scared and thought it to be for their own good. 'Weak,' she thought, squeezing her eyes shut and accidentally allowing a single tear to roll down her cheek. 'You're weak and they deserved better.'

"Friend Raven," Starfire spoke gently, sinking onto the bed again and grazing her arm to pull her from her trance, "I believe it is your turn to do the explaining."

The empath opened her eyes and nodded softly, a nearly inaudible sniffle escaping as she tucked her hands together in an attempt to stop their trembling.

"I felt it was safest to leave you all out of it. I really did, at the time." Crickets. She peeked up to be met with cold, hard, questioning stares, and swiftly returned her gaze to the string now further unraveled from the throw. She huffed out a nervous breath, forcing herself to continue.

"Toward the end, when we were still a team, I began experiencing... changes, in my mental state. I was having nightmares every night, hallucinations, hearing voices... I even had to stop meditating, because relaxing my mind in that way seemed to make it worse. I never felt rested. I was losing control... and then, the council made its decision, and it turned out to be very convenient timing," She released a heavy breath, the memory of that time weighing upon her chest.

"I know I should have come to you. I know I didn't have to hide it, but I had never felt that way before and I was still learning how to open up and... I didn't want to be the crazy one again," she murmured, embarrassment rouging her cheeks. "I truly thought that I was losing my mind and would wind up hurting you all more if I stuck around. So when we left the tower, I went to Azarath, thinking my father may have somehow returned, but everything was... normal. I felt normal there. So I stayed. For two and a half years I lived in Azarath, until I finally decided to come back to Earth 6 months ago to see how it went. And... well, everything has been surprisingly okay. Yesterday was the first time I'd used my powers in months."

Raven concluded the best explanation she could muster, bracing herself as she finally peered back up at her friends. Friends. Could she still call them that? Could she ever call herself one again? The blank stares she was currently faced with had her wondering, doubting. She squirmed uncomfortably in the bed, shifting her eyes back and forth as her pulse raced. Why weren't they reacting? Had she messed up too badly for redemption?

Suddenly, in the midst of her spiral toward self-deprication, Garfield smiled. An intentionally reassuring quirk of his lip became a soft smirk, then widened into a real, full smile, fang poking out and all. She returned the gesture as relief began to wash over her, and before she knew it, she was surrounded with pure curiosity and conern. Not judgment. Not hatred. Questions flew around the room, wondering where she lived, if she had anyone else, whether she worked; Raven spent another few moments locked in silent conversation with Garfield, trying to convey her gratitude as they searched each other's eyes. He nodded as though he could read her mind, then began firing his own questions her way. Her smile grew just slightly, and she blinked out of her stupor to provide all the answers they may need.

That nod was all she needed to know in her heart that she was forgiven. She had her friends back, and wouldn't let them go ever again.

Yes, we are pretending that Azarath wasn't canonically obliterated by Trigon. I have an iffy at best knowledge of the comics, but for the sake of this story and not having to rewrite the past three chapters again, this is what we're going with :) I know where I was going with this originally, and didn't like it so I pivoted and this was the only way I could find to make it make sense.

Anyways, I'm so glad to be done with this short chapter and begin the next one, finally writing from scratch rather than rewriting old content! Yay!! Chapter 4 should be up in the next few days. I love reviews, no pressure! Have a great day :)