Chapter Seven - Protection
Halfway through the month of November Sam receives another care package from Dean and this one is left on his bed rather than given to him by the TA. Sam looks around the room trying to find any evidence that Dean had been there or was still there. He moved towards the box and opened it to see a whole heap of stationary, notebooks and an iPad with multiple pre-paid cards as well as iTunes cards so he can download music and shows to watch.
Sam grabs his phone and types a message to Dean 'HI Dean, I hope you're doing OK, keeping safe… thanks for my new care package, you keep spoiling me'
It took a few minutes till he got a reply from Dean 'I'm glad you liked it' then a second message 'My last hunt was a little hairy'
Sam furrowed his brows 'What do you mean hairy? Are you alright?'.
'I'm recuperating at Bobby's, don't worry about me' Dean replied quickly
'I can't help it, your job is really dangerous, you're supposed to be careful' Sam replied. He knew how dangerous hunting was, so he was always worried about Dean, there was always that fear that something would happen to him.
'I was being careful but there were 2 poltergeists not 1 so I was a little outnumbered' Dean defended
'Well I hope that Bobby is looking after you and making sure you don't injure yourself again' Sam was happy that at least Dean was with Bobby who would keep an eye on him.
'Thank god Bobby hasn't had to give me sponge baths...' Dean replies, 'I don't need Bobby in a nurses outfit' Dean continued with a sick emoji.
'Ewww… not a visual I needed thank you very much!' Sam replied with a laughing emoji
'Let's move on then because I don't want to lose my lunch' Dean replied.
They continued chatting back and forth for 20 minutes and when Sam's stomach growled, he figured he better go to the cafeteria. 'Well, I have to go and eat something now, if you heard the noise that my stomach just made, you would think I had a monster in there'
'Well, I would hate for you to be eaten alive by your own stomach, you should go and eat' Dean replied with a smile
'When will I get to see you again in person?' Sam asked hopefully
'Soon, once I'm back to 100% I'll try and make my way over there' Dean replied
Sam smiled at that, he really hoped he could see Dean soon so he could talk to him and hopefully ask him out if he's brave enough. He knows it would be hard, because Dean lived like a gypsy and if Sam wanted a relationship with Dean, then he would have to share him with hunting and he wasn't sure if he really wanted to have a long-distance relationship.
Sam had gone back to his studies and but started to be ambushed by Sebastian who had just kept turning up around the place and attempted to speak to him, it felt creepy and stalky to him. Sam was successful in avoiding Sebastian most of the time but late at night on a Wednesday, a few weeks later in the library which was mostly empty Sam heard someone clear their throat behind him "Sam, why have you been ignoring me" Sebastian had stated as he walked closer to Sam.
"I haven't been ignoring you" Sam replied with a shake of the head as he looked up at Sebastian.
"Yes, you have, every time I try to speak to you, you're always ducking off in the other direction" Sebastian said accusatorily.
"I'm not ignoring you; I just don't want to talk to you" Sam said with a smirk. "Why would I want to speak to you after the way you treated me" Sam said picking up his bag and putting it on his shoulder.
"Hey, come on man… I apologised" Sebastian started.
"Oh, is that what that was? … I kneaded you in the nuts to get you to leave me alone… that's not apologising" Sam asked incredulously
"Well, how long am I going to be in the doghouse with you?" Sebastian asked sarcastically
"Don't act like it was nothing… you took advantage of me… I don't want anything to do with you… just leave me alone!" Sam said angrily.
"I know you want to be with me Sam… I could tell the other day" Sebastian said leaning his face closer to Sam.
"I thought we had a connection… yes, but you took advantage of me, why would I want to be in a relationship with you after that?" Sam said disgusted.
"I felt that connection too Sam, we can be together, but I don't want a relationship… we can keep it casual if you want?" Sebastian said in what Sam thought was his attempt to be sexy.
Sam practically yelled in frustration "Why can't you get it through your thick skull, I'm not interested in you Sebastian, I want to be in a proper, healthy relationship as a gay man, I don't want a causal relationship, don't you get that?" Sam said with a shake of his head and as he pulled his bag back onto his shoulder more securely.
"I'm still trying to figure myself out and what I want Sam… you can't expect me to make a… commitment… let's just have fun" Sebastian said when he moved closer to Sam pushing him against the wall beside the cubicle
"Step back please" Sam asked quietly.
"No… I think you want this more than you're willing to admit… you're just scared" Sebastian said as he moved forward to kiss Sam, but Sam moved his face to the side and Sebastian kissed him on the cheek instead.
"My god! Why would I be scared? … I said I didn't want to be with you, I don't want to have sex with you, I don't want to have anything with you" Sam said trying to push Sebastian off him "Just leave me alone!"
Sebastian grabbed Sam's face with his hands and kissed him, hard, demanding, and invasive.
"Stop!" Sam said as he frantically tried to move his face away and push the other man away.
"I know you want this, stop fighting it" Sebastian said, and he kissed him again, sloppily as Sam tried to pull away from Sebastian but he held on harder as he grabbed onto one of Sams ass cheeks.
"Hey!" came a voice from behind them and Sebastian quickly let go of Sam and turned towards the voice and was suddenly punched in the face and landed on the ground in a heap.
"Oh thank God!" Sam exclaimed shakily and when he looked up and saw Dean's angry face looking over Sebastian who was laying on the ground with his hand over his nose which had blood running down his chin.
"Stay away from him you dick… do you hear me?" Dean yelled menacingly at the man still on the ground, he nodded shakily at Dean that he understood then Dean turned his back on him.
"Are you OK Sammy?" Dean asked gently as he watched Sam whose hands were shaking from shock and had tears in his eyes.
"I… how are you here?" Sam asked wiping his face of tears
Dean grabbed Sam's hands and enclosed them in his own to stop them shaking "I wanted to surprise you, and my friend told me some guy had been following you. So, I drove all the way here to just… I wanted to make sure you were OK. I went to your room, but you weren't there, and I figured if you were anywhere, it would be the library" Dean said bringing Sam's hands up to his lips to kiss them "Thank god I got here when I did"
Sam laughed wetly as tears come down his face "Thank you… I don't know what would have happened if…if you didn't stop him" Sam replied tearily
Dean hadn't let go of Sam's hands, his thumbs were rubbing the back of his hands back and forth "Are you alright… did he hurt you?" Dean asked moving closer to Sam trying to give comfort.
Sam shook his head "No… not really… you turned up before he could do anything more than…. he just kissed me" Sam said gently. His body was still shaking, and his anguished mind was all over the place.
"You didn't want him to kiss you though, did you?" Dean asked still holding his hands gently.
Sam shook his head "God no… I didn't want… any of that… he just wouldn't take no for an answer" Sam couldn't remember what he had said whether he had said anything that had given Sebastian the wrong impression. "Did… Did I… is it because of me... did I give him the wrong impression?" Sam asked tearily
Dean shook his head and let go of Sam's hands and pulled Sam into a hug. "No, Sammy no, you said no, that should have been enough… he should have stopped" Dean growled the last part. He was envisioning finding this guy again and beating him to a pulp.
Sam mumbled a reply "Hmm?" Dean asked as he let go of Sam enough so he could speak "I just don't know why he thought…" Sam asked but couldn't continue. He pulled Dean back into a hug as he buried his head in Deans shoulder and enjoyed the heat of Deans body.
"Hey now" Dean said rubbing Sam's back in calming circles. He could feel the younger man take some calming breaths as his shaking reduced. "Can you tell me who that was?" Dean asked as he looked over where Sebastian had been and noticed him stumbling away.
Sam took another calming breath "It… I met him like a month or so ago, we were supposed to go on a date, but he ghosted me, then he…. he um … but I don't want anything to do with him…" Sam wiped his nose and shook his head.
"So… do you want to go back to your room, and you can tell me everything that happened" Dean said gently, then helping Sam gather all his books and his bag while keeping one arm around Sam's shoulders.
As they walked out of the library, Sam kept his head on Deans shoulder. He took the key out of his pocket and once the door was open, they both stumbled inside with Dean closing the door with his foot. Sam's bags were dumped at the end of the bed and Dean had Sam bundled up on the bed with a blanket over them both and Sam's head buried in Dean's chest. "Tell me what happened Sammy, I'm not going anywhere... I'm right here" He said as he ran his fingers through Sam's hair, "You can stay hidden if it will make it easier" Dean said gently.
Sam told Dean how he had met Sebastian and how he had treated him and that he never wanted to be in a proper relationship, that he had just wanted to experiment in gay waters, that Sebastian forced himself on him, kissed him and touched his ass and his crouch and that he tried to get him to stop. The whole experience had made him feel vulnerable and a little worried that he had somehow given the wrong impression. "This guy sounds like an asshole" Dean said vehemently "I can't believe he did that to you"
Sam took a deep breath "I really need to tell you something... you've probably already guessed but umm…. I don't um… I don't really like girls" Sam said almost too quietly for Dean to hear "I'm um… I'm gay, actually".
"Well, I figured but thank you for telling me officially" Dean said without an ounce of hesitation.
"You're ok with it then?" Sam asked, "That I like guys instead of girls?" he moved his head back to look at Dean's face.
"I could care less Sammy... truly" Dean said in reply. "To be honest with you… I'm not exactly straight either, so don't worry, I still care about you, I'm still on your side. If you have any questions or anything you can always come to me" Dean says soothingly
"I thought you would be… I thought… you're such a ladies' man" Sam replied confused.
"I did give you that impression yes…" It really didn't bother Dean one bit if Sam was straight or not, he had found that he liked both men and women through all his years of hunting, when he got lonely and he needed a little company he wasn't picky, so he had no prejudices at all. In fact, he had always had a soft spot for hazel eyes, floppy hair, the fact that Sam had now admitted that he could be interested certainly made his fantasies less of a pipe dream and more a possibility.
Sam is a little shocked by Dean's statement that he may not be as straight as Sam had always assumed. Dean had always seemed to only ever had flings or one-night stands with women so the fact that Dean liked men as well shook Sam to his core. "I'm… I don't know what to say" Sam said his mind reeling
"Well, I never actually flaunted the fact that I liked men as well as women, so I can understand your confusion… I want you to be comfortable, so… I can officially tell you, I'm bisexual so you don't need to worry about me not understanding or not being inclusive of you" Dean said with a smile.
Sam smiled tearily back and just pulled him into a hug "Thank you for telling me that and just being so amazing" Sam said enjoying Deans arms around him. He opened his mouth to tell Dean how he felt but something was holding him back. What if Dean didn't feel the same, or just laughed at him or just wanted to be friends. Just because Dean was Bisexual, it didn't automatically mean that he was attracted to Sam too.
They laid there together for a while until Sam felt like he could get out of the cocoon they had created; he wiped the tears from his face "I'm sorry for crying all over you" Sam said as he pushed back so he wasn't invading Deans space.
"Hey, I don't mind at all… tears are better than some of the things I've had all over me recently" Dean said with a laugh.
"I should also thank you for helping me with…" Sam couldn't say the man's name, it was too soon after the incident and he just wanted to forget all about him.
"I would have beaten him to a pulp if I could… I just wanted to get him away from you" Dean said watching the younger man.
"You don't need to beat him up" Sam said even though he never wanted to see the other man again.
"Well, you tell me if he bothers you again and I'll hunt him down and… teach him a lesson about consent" Dean replied with a snarl.
The hadn't really moved too far away from each other but they were no longer in each other's spaces. "Are you feeling up to going out for some food?" Dean asked rubbing his hand up and down Sam's arm soothingly
Sam looks up at him as he realises, he hasn't eaten since that morning "Um yeah I should eat something, there's a nice café a few blocks away we can go to" Sam leant back a little as Dean turned to get up then he put his hand out to help Sam to get off the bed
"Are you sure you're doing, OK?" Dean asked concerned
"Yeah, I'm feeling much better now thanks" Sam replied smiling at him in thanks, he then grabbed his keys, wallet, and his phone from his bag.
"OK, let's go then, you lead the way" Dean opened the door for him and once Sam had walked out, he locked the door behind him. They started walking down the street side by side and as they walked Sam was tempted to grab Deans hand, there was just something about the man that made him feel safe and cared for.
Once they got to his building Sam let them inside and dropped his bags near the door. He stood there looking around his apartment and didn't know what to do with himself. The emotions that he had been holding back since it all went down in the library. He puts his face in his hands and just starts crying.
Dean gathers him into his arms and places his hands on his back and rubs him soothingly up and down "Hey, hey hey, you're alright now… no one's is going to hurt you Sammy" Dean says softly into his ear.
Sam can feel the warmth of Deans arms and chest spread through his body and the smell of Dean is a unique mix of coffee, mint and aftershave envelops him in the smell of home and safety. He finds the whole experience a heady mix and he lets out a contented sigh. "That's it, I'm here" Dean says soothingly
Sam lifts his head, and he realises just how close they are when Dean bumps their noses together. "You're ok now" Dean says with a soothing rub up and down his back.
Sam looks into his startlingly green eyes, and he takes a chance and places his lips softly against Deans plump lips. It's a gentle press of lips, with no pressure but for Sam it's everything he's ever dreamed of. It doesn't last long though, as Dean lets go of him and takes a step back from Sam looking startled "I'm sorry… we shouldn't do that Sam"
Sam feels the colour drain from his face as the bubble is burst. "Oh god… I'm so sorry..." Sam says shakily his head he steps back and moves quickly around Dean and practically runs to the bathroom and slams the door, and suddenly he runs over to the toilet, kneeled, and loses his lunch.
Dean is left standing where Sam left him and when he hears the tell tail noises of Sam being sick, he snaps out of it and runs to the bathroom and knocks on the door.
"Sammy? … hey…" Dean hesitates for a moment then opens the door to see Sam leaning his head on his arm that is laying over the toilet seat quietly moaning and sobbing against his arm.
Sam wipes his mouth with toilet paper and flushes the toilet and sits back on his heals with his head down "Please just leave me alone" Sam says through his tears, this time in embarrassment and shame. He can't imagine what Dean thinks of him right now.
Dean opens the door and kneels beside Sam, rubbing his back soothingly. "Hey, come on look at me Sammy…" he grabs Sam's face gently with both hands and lifts his head up so he can look into his eyes "I wasn't saying no because I don't want to kiss you" Dean can see understanding cross Sam's face.
"What?... then why…?" Sam asks confusedly.
Dean rubs his thumbs across Sam's cheeks wiping the tears away "Because… you've just been through something really traumatising, so I wanted to make sure you were OK first, before we did… anything" he wipes the tears under Sam's eyes. "It kind of backfired on me though".
"Oh… god, I just…I thought you didn't want me" Sam replies dumbfounded "Are you really sure?"
"Yes Sammy… baby I'm 100% sure… cause I really, really like you" Dean said with a small smile "and I really want to kiss you again" Dean said softly.
Sam shook his head, he had just gone through a rollercoaster of feelings, from elation that he was finally kissing the man of his dreams, then dread and sickening nausea from the thought of kissing Dean without his consent. "Yeah… I'd really like that too" Sam whispered "But I'm all gross…"
Dean helps Sam up onto his feet, he guides him to the sink and after Sam rinses his mouth and uses the mouth wash, he stands up straight and looks down to the floor and his hands play with the bottom of his t-shirt nervously.
Dean pulls him closer, so they are in each other's spaces and when Sam looks up at him shyly, the next thing Sam knows, their lips are touching, softly at first then Dean presses in harder, taking a small step even closer, their bodies are flush against each other's. Dean has one hand in Sams hair and the other around Sam's slim waist, Dean opens his mouth slightly to capture Sam's bottom lip and he nibbles on it eliciting a moan from Sam in response as his arms move around Deans waist grabbing hold of Deans shirt in both fists, like he's afraid that Dean will disappear if he lets go. The kiss is still slow and soft, but it's filled with heat and passion.
When they break apart, they stare at each other for a moment "I really liked doing that" Dean says softly "I want you to know that I want to do that again, lots of again actually but I think you need to take some time for yourself, then we can see where this goes ok?" Dean asks softly, his eyes not looking away from Sam.
Sam gives him a small smile "I don't really want to… but… it would be a good idea to get my head on straight first" Sam leans his head onto the space between Deans neck and shoulder.
Dean nods his head "Yes… it would… surely you can handle being on your own for a little longer… you've been a monk since you got here" Dean said with a chuckle.
"Not a monk… I just didn't like anyone… I mean… who could possibly be as good as Dean Winchester" Sam said lifting his head and gives him a smirk.
Dean smirks back him "Well… nothing's better than the best".
They both laugh at that, and they just stand there holding onto each other.
TBA