Chapter Twelve - Hospital
John looks over at his son and moves to get up from his position on the floor. "Oh god? Sam! are you OK?" John asks with honest confusion and concern.
Sam still has his arm laying across his face as his battered body is wracked with sobs. He shakes his head in answer to his father but doesn't move his arm.
"Sam?" John tries to move the arm laying across Sam's face, but Sam resists the movement as he keeps crying.
Dean moves over to Sam and puts his hand on Sam's chest "Sammy... come on we need to check if you're ok" Dean looks at him with concern.
Sam calms down a little and takes a few deep breaths "I…" Sam starts but he isn't sure where to start. He takes stock of his body and how he's feeling. His neck aches where his father's hands had been squeezing, his head is foggy and is pounding because of the lack of oxygen. "My god… I…" He's worried that his father will remember everything that he did and said and still want to disown him and. "Dad?" Sam asks softly and moves his head with a wince to try to see his father.
"Sam?" John says as he leans over his son so he could see his face.
"Is it really you?" Sam asks hesitantly, his eyes filling with tears.
"Yes… It's really me… I am… I'm so, so sorry Sam" John says with emotion catching in his throat at seeing his son's tears. "I never wanted to hurt you Sam"
Sam shakes his head, tears escaping down his cheeks "I'm… I'm so sorry" Sam says in reply. He's not sure exactly why he's apologising but he just feels like he needed to because of everything that had happened.
John shakes his head "Sam… no… no you have nothing to be sorry for" John brushes the hair from Sam's face "I couldn't stop my own body from doing what I did to you… I was screaming at him to stop… I'm so, so sorry" John says with tears in his eyes.
"You really didn't mean what you said?" Sam asked timidly
"Of course, not… I mean I was surprised when you told me that you were going to college... but I was also really, really, proud… I mean how the hell did you get into Stanford?!" John said with a proud chuckle.
Sam gives his father a little smile "I've always wanted to go to college… I'm sorry but I don't want to hunt anymore" Sam says with a shake of his head and a lump in his throat.
John smiles at him "I've noticed, especially lately that your heart just isn't in it anymore… I just want you to be happy Sam" John says looking down at his son with a smile "At college and… with whoever you choose to love… I'm so sorry you felt you couldn't share that part of yourself with me"
Sam's eyes fill with tears again "I didn't think you'd…." Sam closed his eyes "I thought you'd…" unable to continue Sam covered his face with his hands as he sobs.
John grabbed one of Sam's hands, uncovering Sam's face as he cried and held it tightly in both of his own "I know Sam… I haven't exactly been… supportive or inclusive of anyone who wasn't what was typical for the hunting community…. but I am whole heartedly supportive of you and I just want you to know I'm on your side" John says with a squeeze of his hand.
"Oh my god" Sam says as he lets out another sob "I thought you were really disappointed with me" Sam said tears running down his face. "That you hated me"
"No Sam… No… never… I'm not disappointed… I certainly don't hate you… I feel like I let you down" John says with emotion "I never wanted to hurt you and I… I hurt you so much. Everything I said and what I did to you… I'm SO, so sorry"
Sam just looked up at his father, unable to fathom how his father had let him down, when it wasn't really him, but he knew that they would just keep going round in circles of taking the blame. "To be honest, I was SO surprised that you had that reaction to me going to college but… I know how important family is to you… so I figured you just thought I was abandoning our family and that was why you were so angry" Sam wiped the tears from his eyes "I don't remember Mum that well and I feel like she would want me to live my life, to do what makes me happy and… I'm so sorry Dad but hunting down the thing that killed mum, really isn't my fight" Sam's wiped the tears from his eyes
John smiled at his son and ran his fingers through his son's hair "I understand Sam… I had a very unrealistic wish that you would want to follow in my footsteps, but I completely understand that that isn't your wish for your future" John said
"And… and how do you feel about… me being… I'm gay Dad… how do you feel about that?" Sam said shyly.
"You know… to be honest when I heard, through the demon that you were gay… it didn't surprise me, I've always known that you were different, in a good way. It didn't change how I feel about you… in fact I love you more" John said and as Sam started to cry in earnest John pulled him into a fierce hug. He rubbed his large hands up and down his arms in comfort.
Dean watched on as the two Winchesters reconnected. He was worried that John had thought the same way as the demon and that Sam would have to deal with being disowned and abused all over again. It appeared however that John thought the opposite and was in fact supportive and open to his son's choices.
Dean was about to turn around and leave the room so the 2 Winchesters could have some privacy. Sam noticed him turning and pulled away from John and tried to grab the other man's arm "No Dean… don't leave please" he said with as much urgency as his battered body could muster.
"I just wanted to give you guys some time… I'm just third wheeling it here" Dean said rubbing his neck nervously
"I want you here though Dean…" Sam says almost pleading as he puts his hand out to grab Deans hand.
"OK, alright I'll stay Sammy" Dean replies with a smile as he encloses Sam's hand with both of his.
John is looking at Dean with an unreadable expression, when Dean looks over at him John gives him a small smile. "I guess he wants you to stay Dean…"
Dean gives John a smile back then looks right back at Sam and his smile changes to fondness. "Do they know when you'll be able to go home?" Deans asks redirecting the conversation.
"Not yet, I'm bruised all over, the doctor said my ribs were bruised so I think he wants to make sure that I don't have problems breathing" Sam says trying to take a deeper breath and when a burst of pain sweeps through him, his hand moves to sooth his ribs. "Ok yeah that hurt"
"Do they know who attacked you?" John asks gruffly. He remembers the doctor telling the demon that Sam had been attacked. "Besides me, I mean"
"Well, firstly… it was the demon, not you Dad… and secondly, we don't know yet for sure, but I've got an idea" Sam says as he comes through the paid in his ribs. Sam tells his father about the graffiti and the notes he had received and what the demon had said about Sebastian doing anything for money.
"I'm going to kill that bastard" Dean says vehemently.
"I don't want you going to jail for me Dean" Sam says softly.
"I don't care… that asshole attacked you… he is not getting away with hurting you" Dean said vehemently.
"They don't know for sure if it was him" Sam says lamely.
"I still want to teach him a lesson though" Dean replies "That guy needs to learn No, means No"
"You punched his lights out already… he's learnt his lesson" Sam says with a chuckle
"You punched him?" John asked Dean with a surprised rise of his eyebrows
"Too right I did…" Dean replied, and the two men talked back and forth as Dean told him what Sebastian had done.
"That little bastard, I kind of feel like tracking him down and teach him my own kind of lesson." John replied rubbing his hands together menacingly
Sam leant back on the bed and sighed. Now he had two overprotective mother hens to deal with, he wasn't sure if he would survive living in their protective bubbles. "My god, will I never get any peace?" Sam mutters quietly.
John's face is suddenly hovering over him and in his eye line "Hey Sam… Don't worry, I'm not going to get caught but that bastard needs to pay for what he did to you" John says fatherly
"Please let the police do their jobs… they will get whoever did this and if it was him, then he will get his comeuppance" Sam replied
"You know how I feel about the police" John says looking pointedly at Sam.
"Yes, I remember, however the 2 officers who came to take my statement, they seemed ready and willing to find this guy" Sam said with a shrug
"Did they say whether they had any other leads?" Dean asked
"No... I gave them the notes I had already received and the note that was in my pocket" Sam said "I think it was Sebastian, he didn't like me saying no… but it could honestly be anyone from my dorm"
"Well, hopefully it will be sorted soon, and you can go back to studying to your hearts content" Dean said with a smile "Like the nerd you are"
"Haha Dean" Sam said sarcastically giving Dean a small shove
"And we won't have to worry about you then" John said patting Sam on the shoulder
"I'll still worry about you…which is why I'll come and visit you, I'll visit so much, that you'll get sick of me" Dean said with a twinkle in his eye
"I don't think that's possible" Sam looked over at him and gave him a small smile "You're the one's going out there risking your lives though… I should be more worried about you two" Sam said honestly
John shakes his head and smiles "Alright, I think we'll all be worrying about each other… I'm hankering for a coffee; do you want one Dean?... Sam?" John asks them both in turn.
When they both nod, John moves to the door "I'll be back in a few" and he walks out and turns to go to the canteen which is located 2 floors down.
Once he leaves the room, the two men are left to awkwardly look at anything but each other. After a few minutes of silence "Sammy?" Dean says softly
Sam picks at the blanket over his lap and looks up at Dean shyly "Yeah?"
Dean walked closer to Sam and grabbed his hand "Are you really alright?" Dean asks still in his soft voice that breaks a little at the end.
Sam looks into Deans green eyes and is lost in their depths, Deans callused hands caress the soft skin on the back of his hands "It was really scary De… I thought Dad… well the demon was going to kill me… but you… you saved me" Sam says as he swallows the lump in his throat.
"Thank god I got here in time" Dean says as he pulls Sam's hands to his lips and kisses the soft skins there. "How are feeling… with your injuries?"
"My ribs are aching a bit, and my neck is a little sore where the demon…" Sam trailed off, he couldn't even think about what would have happened.
"I know Sammy… You should take it easy now" Dean says as he smooths the hair back from Sam's forehead.
"I'm literally in bed… I can't take it any easier" Sam replied sarcastically.
Dean chuckles at that and Sam goes beat red when he realises what he said. "Yes, well… you are meant to be taking it easy… let me fix your pillows" Dean leans over and pulls Sam forward gently, being mindful of his ribs, leans him against Deans chest, as he fluffs the pillows behind Sam until they are to his liking then leans Sam gently back against them. Sam sighs in relaxation and as Dean leans back slightly, he looks down into Sam's hazel eyes. "There, how is that" Dean asks softly
"Yeah, it's good… thank you… so much Dean" Sam says softly back, looking up at Dean with a shy smile on his face.
"I really want to kiss you right now" Dean says putting his hand on Sam's cheek and stroking it tenderly.
"Really?" Sam lets out the breath he didn't realise he was holding. "I'd really like that Dean" he said as his face heated up
Dean leans over slowly, keeping his eyes locked on Sam's, then their lips meet in a gentle press, then he leans back to gauge Sam's reaction, he must see something he likes because he is leaning in again, his hands moving to each side of Sam's face as their lips meet for a second time, this kiss is a little more passionate than the first, with his tongue coming out to lightly swipe at the opening of Sam's closed lips, when Sam gasps at the feeling, Dean captures Sam's bottom lip and sucks on it gently causing Sam to moan softly. Sam has one hand clasped in Deans shirt holding him close, he brings his other hand to the back of Deans neck and caresses the soft hairs there. Sam is lost in the feeling of Dean nibbling on his bottom lip, the smell of him, invading his senses, the feeling of Dean's hands on his face, he is surrounded by Dean and never wants it to end.
Suddenly there is a throat clearing at the hospital room doorway and they break apart looking over at the doorway. "Well, if you wanted time alone to do that, you could have just asked" John said with a chuckle.
Sam groans in embarrassment, he pulls Dean back down into a hug so he can bury his face in the older man's neck.
Dean laughs at Sam as he goes willingly into Sam's space and hugs him back with his hand on the back of Sam's head. "It's ok Sammy' Dean whispers soothingly
John laughs "Come on guys… it's fine"
Sam pulls away from Dean and looks over at John with a red blotchy face "really?" Sam asks tentatively
"Of course… you two weren't as subtle as you thought you were" John replies with a grin
"I can't believe you're fine with this" Sam replies with disbelief all over his face. It's like his father is 2 different people. It's going to take a while for his mind to understand that the violence and anger that John had showed, wasn't really his father.
"Sam, you're my son, I love you. I know I haven't exactly been father of the year and you think I still need to get comfortable with your sexuality but honestly, I don't care who you're with, as long as they make you happy" John said looking at Dean then back to Sam with an encouraging smile.
Dean stands back up and looks directly at John "Well, this is still… very new, John" Dean looks back at Sam and gives him a small smile "But I want to give this relationship a try"
John looks at them both "And like I said, I'm fine with it as long as my son is happy"
Sam looks up at his father "I really want to try having a… a serious relationship with… Dean" Sam said looking over at Dean for acknowledgement.
"Yeah Sammy, I want a serious relationship too… but let's go on a date first" He says with a laugh.
It's been such a whirl wind of emotions for Sam, and it finally seems to be going in a positive direction. Sam starts to chuckle, his cheeks going pink and Sam started to imagine what life might be like with Dean in it as his romantic partner, the pink on his cheeks deepened a little and he clears his throat.
"Once I get out of here, we can go on one" Sam said shyly.
Dean grabs one of Sam's hands in both of his "I'll try and find somewhere nice we can go then" Dean said with a hint of excitement
"OK.. let's not get too lovey dovey… I'm still in the room" John said with a chuckle and after a beat they all burst into laughter, Sam with an embarrassed pink tint to his cheeks and Dean with a satisfied grin. They relax into companionable silence and John and Dean settle into their hospital chairs on either side of the bed as Sam leans back into the pillows that Dean had fluffed earlier. Sam closes his eyes and as he starts to drift off, he feels Dean grab and hold onto his closest hand and continue to chat. As Sam relaxes into darkness, he is lulled to a healing sleep by the soothing voices of his father and the man could have a future with. He hopes that when he wakes up, they can get Sebastian out of his life and hopefully spend some time together. The thought gives him something to look forward too and he smiles to himself as everything goes dark.
TBC