Ron the True Fan: A THOUSAND YEARS I HAVE SLEPT-
Takeshi Yamato: Oh, put a sock in it. Yeah, this is back. We have enough of a plan in place to get started.
Forest near Littleroot Town, Hoenn Region - 1609 hours local time - Day 779 of Ash Ketchum's Pokemon Journey
Ash was not happy.
This was a standard mood lately. Nothing had gone his way at all. Time travel, more disasters he could've prevented, standard fare.
Now he had to deal with Tyrannitar's insane mother after he thought he drowned her.
"I am getting REALLY tired of this shit." he snapped as the kaiju roared. "I DROWNED YOUR ASS! WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD?!"
"Pneumatic air vents?" Max suggested, Ash giving him a look before deciding it didn't MATTER.
It was time for it to DIE. And if DROWNING her didn't work…
Ash retrieved a Target Ring from his pocket, something he thought might come in handy before sending out Natu.
And a plexiglass ball.
After Altomere, paranoia was becoming a necessity. "Natu, take this and teleport into the ball!" he commanded, Natu grabbing the Ring Target and teleporting into the ball. A Ring Target was designed to bypass all type immunities.
And that included teleporting. Natu popped into the ball and started Natu-porting, landing on the mother's head. Then jumped.
Again.
And again. Twelve times.
Until they were 200 kilometers above the planet's surface. Natu pecked the ball, getting away from the now choking pseudo-legendary.
It was pitiable. Gasping for air, struggling in vain. Natu just teleported and left her to her fate.
"The vacuum of space?" Max asked. "That seems like overkill."
"I'm beginning to be of the opinion that overkill is the only option." Ash retorted, Max looking at Ash before realizing, given recent events, he had a POINT.
Natu then reappeared and nested on the girl's head, making her glare upwards before Natu smugly looked down. "Na tu." 'Try me.' said the parrot.
"Are you ok?" Ash asked the Draconid girl, who looked at him, seeing a soul that was SO VERY TIRED.
Draconids were VERY much in tune with the spiritual nature of the world. She didn't need much to know this was someone Arceus considered VERY important. And SO VERY BROKEN.
"Not… really…" she said, looking into his brown eyes, so close to the shade of a Draconid's red. "But…it attacked my people-"
A metallic click was heard as Ash drew his handmade pistol… then offered it to her. "I sent her to you." he admitted. "I tried to drown her to save my friends, but she ended up on your shores. I can't undo what I did… but I CAN give you a chance to get payback on the one who caused you so much pain."
Pikachu was two steps from electrocuting him to stop a more roundabout attempt at suicide, but Zinnia blinked at the offer.
He was in such pain that death was viewed as a release? "No." she said, standing up. "If you are responsible, you will repay your debt in a time and way of my choosing. The honor of the Draconid people deserves no less."
Max looked at Ash. "I take it she said 'no'." he stated dryly, the Draconid's language being more akin to ancient Hisuian then modern Nihonise, as Ash put his gun back in its' holster.
"I owe her." Ash said, Max's smile turning sly. "Either help me repay my debt without the beast with two backs or leave me to my delusions."
"Please. Like that's going to-"
CHUNK-CHUNK.
Ash looked at the source of the noise.
A pump-action shotgun… in the hands of a twin-tailed brunette wearing a red jacket, a white skirt and a bandana.
May. Well, Ash couldn't blame her for the shotgun.
Rota
Fists were Kyoji and Taggard, literally and figuratively, blaming each other for the whole situation and taking it out on one another.
To be entirely fair, they were angry at themselves, too. They just took it out on the other guy.
"If you two are done?" came the voice of Neesha, as the two looked at her, breaking off their fight. "IT's a week to Hoenn with the airports there being basically worthless, so the sooner you two are done fighting, the sooner we can leave."
None of Hoenn's airports were functioning or intact in any way, meaning they had to take a ship there.
Kyoji put one more punch into Taggard's face, stunning him long enough for the Ranseian to disengage. The old man had been hit with worse. He'd live.
Back with Ash
Ash slowly raised his hands, May keeping her aim on his head, fear making her weapon shake in her hands.
"Hello." he said as gently as possible. "You must be May." the brunette racked the pump of the shotgun in response. "Your brother told me all about you."
"Sis…" Max said, getting the elder Maple's attention. "Put the gun down."
May stared at Ash again, Ash's own brief ninja training telling him she was reading him for any form of aggression or deception. Someone DID try to rape her, so her reasoning was… valid. But Ash?
The only way that would happen is if he was psychically manipulated to do so. And those two in his head couldn't make him if they tried.
Her finger left the trigger. Ash was, perplexingly, perfectly safe. Safer than even her brother and father.
So when she let her guard down, Ash rushed forward and embraced her in a hug. Her shock was overridden with… safety. May did not know why, but she felt like anything and everything that wanted to hurt her was doomed to a painful death if they tried touching her now.
"…Are you TRYING to get yourself killed?" Max asked.
"Trying?" May asked her little brother. "What do you mean by that?"
Littleroot town - 90 minutes later
The entire town shot Ash dirty looks. Ash bore it in stride.
"May!" exclaimed her mother, Caroline, as May entered her line of sight. "You need to stop going into the woods! I don't-" Her eyes turned to Ash, who was a few steps behind, then to Max. "…Young man, you better explain what's going on."
"Ash decided to come to Hoenn a little early." Max answered. "And we ran into a Shadow Trannitar-"
"I heard the roaring and wanted to see what it was." May cut in. "I didn't expect a Draconid or… him."
Caroline looked at Ash, who waved at her silently, then to May, who was… fine.
Actually, she looked like she was perfectly ok being within arm's reach of Ash. Anyone other than Max or her husband Norman would have her screaming, even Professor Elm. Ash was known to have a harem and men were not exactly knights in shining armor in the modern day. How the hell was he safe for May to be around?
"Mom, can I talk with you inside?" Max asked. "This is important."
Caroline knew her son was bright. Not listening to him was a stupid idea.
Five minutes later, Caroline's opinion of Ash one-eightied.
Until recently, he took a vow of celibacy and even when Serena made him break it, he STILL acted as though it was in play and showed every woman and girl he met with respect.
Hell, the only time he saw one of the girls he was engaged to - against his will, apparently! - naked was by ACCIDENT.
In short? May was in safer hands then her father's near Ash.
Caroline had a choice to make. Good thing Norman was in town.
Then she felt the glare of the almighty hit the back of her head, making her spin around to find Ash glaring at her from a window.
'Whatever you're planning… don't.' was the message she got from his expression.
"Don't do it, Mom." Max pleaded. "Ash has issues with people taking away the right to choose from others. Which is kinda hypocritical, seeing as he wants every girl who's fallen for him to seek someone ELSE, but he's got trauma, so he gets something of an excuse. Don't do it."
Caroline looked at May, who looked very comfortable with the first boy outside the family in three years.
IT was already done.
Ash focused on May, Zinnia staring him down, as if plotting to kill him in his sleep, Pikachu's warning sparking not dissuading her in the slightest.
Ash wasn't going to stop her. His nightmares might just end if she succeeded. But first, he had to go and deal with Cyrus.
His attention, though, was caught by Caroline in the corner of his eye. She was planning something. Something that would strip away May's right to choose. Unacceptable.
He glared at her to stop her plans, something she clearly got… but still went to a vid-phone.
He wasn't happy.
Ron the True Fan: Of course he's not.
Takeshi Yamato: Yeah, he's got issues. This is the darkest timeline for a reason - even if this arc isn't meant for that.
Ron the True Fan: No, this is the FUNNY arc. And the one where Ash decides to undermine every major event before it even STARTS.
Takeshi Yamato: For those who have read Schlock Mercenary, you could consider this the arc that Ash fully embraces Maxim 37 of the Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries: There is no 'Overkill'. There is only 'Open Fire' and 'I Need to Reload'.
Ron the True Fan: …No. This is where Ash goes 'I know what's coming, I'm sending men ahead to end it before it starts'. A scalpel is more effective than a club. It just so happens the scalpel can cause nuclear explosions on occasion.
Takeshi Yamato: Fair enough. But yeah, this is back now.
Ron the True Fan: And Take's suffering begins anew! (Ground shakes before Take is grabbed) I'M TAKIN' YOU WITH ME!
Takeshi Yamato: Wha-(Hole opens up under both) (Wilhelm Scream)
Ja Ne!