Warning:

Smut & Sexual Content

"Garrus," his hands froze against the panel of the large Thanix cannon. It was improved since the last time he had seen it after the Omega 4 Relay, but it was still lacking. Everything seemed improved, though he suspected it had more to do with EDI rather than the confiscation of the Alliance. The Cerberus colors were all washed away, replaced by plain metals and strong swoops of Alliance blue. The hum of the Main Battery, however, was just as it always was. Red hued the room – and where it had once been a comfort, he found it a severe contrast to how the rest of the vessel felt.

As if it were removed.

He decided, as he probably had years ago, that he did not want to be removed from this vessel. Never again. He would – with a very high probability – die on this ship.

He looked up to take in the shape of his Commander as she continued, with a small smile on those lips of her's, "Didn't waste any time getting to work I see."

He smirked, straightening from his position and taking a step towards her, "After what I've been through lately, calibrating a giant gun is…a vacation."

Though he said it in jest, the weight of his words was not lost on either of them. Because how could they be? How could anyone watch their homeworld's be attacked with such a high cost of life? How could the two of them – no, the crew of this ship – both onboard and littered throughout the galaxy know what they know and witness the truth of it and the absolute lack of preparation despite the way that Shepard had fought for the Council, for her Alliance, for anyone to listen – to heed the warning? It was devastating to know that – if only, if only, if only…the mantra. He frowned at his thoughts and took another step towards her.

If he had these thoughts vibrating through his own being, he could only imagine the crushing weight that this small human felt. His blue eyes leveled with her green, "Gives me something to focus on," though at this moment he knew that he was not talking about the cannon. He was talking about her.

Clarity is a freeing thing, he realized. To see through everything that is supposed to create conflict, doubt, uncertainty and to just – know. Surefire in the way he knew that Shepard, his Shepard, needed him. She would never say it. She would never mention it. She would even do without, if need be, but he wouldn't…he frowned gently…

"We're gonna need you for more than your aim," her eyes darted from one of his to the other.

"Oh," he stepped back, breaking eye contact. His frown shifting to the rest of his features, "I'm ready for it, but I'm pretty sure we'll still need giant guns," he looked towards the panel board, and then over to the other side of the room where the monitors sat glaring blue against the red of the room, "– and lots of them."

"I can't argue with that," Shepard followed his gaze towards the monitor's. He sighed and shifted towards her.

"Yeah so…" he felt himself draw inward, fear gripping him suddenly, "Is this the part where we…" forcing himself to look at her he continued, "…shake hands?"

Spirits that sounded awful. He grimaced at his words, it had been more than six months apart and he felt as if it had been only a few days with the way he wanted to reach for her. Was he allowed? She was his, right? Or no – Turians and Humans responded differently. They hadn't even been able to speak about what this was before she had been taken away from him and he had returned to Palaven. Had…what if… "Wasn't sure about the protocols on reunions," he ran a finger down his jaw, "…or if you even felt the same way about me," he looked away from her – he couldn't, no he really could not face it if she what? Rejected him? That didn't sound right. This was Shepard…even if…even if he…" The scars are starting to fade," he forced himself to smirk and look back at her, his hand lifting to trace along his cheekbone, "I remember they drove you wild."

Her small chuckle was like a match to a flame. It lit a part of him that had been hidden in the dark. Pushed aside for another day. A part of him that he had protected, but never dared to think about during his time on Menae. When news that Earth had been attacked – he had covered it so deeply into the category of 'don't think about' that he had feared he would have forgotten it was there.

"…but I can go and get all new ones if it'll help."

Garrus' feet moved him to stand before her and he fought against the damn near need to reach out to her.

"I haven't forgotten our time together," Shepard smiled softly at him.

Fucking hope is what that is. That flame. That light. He inhaled sharply through his nose, her scent heavy as he resisted the urge to pull her towards him, "Well, I've been doing some more research on human customs. I didn't want to…" his right hand reached up on its own accord, one talon tracing the zipper of the N7 hoodie she was wearing, "…presume …"

Her small hand clasped the lip of his armor and pulled him downward. She pressed her lips against his mouth plates, his words cut off, but her message was clear.

She still wanted this.

A whine escaped the back of his throat as his subvocals flared to life. Relief was loudest in his own mind. He had thought of little else but the Reapers and Shepard for months and here she was. Standing in front of him and kis..kissing yes…kissing him. Putting to rest one of his largest fears. His feelings for Shepard had always been something he had little understanding of. Perhaps he didn't need to understand.

He gripped her upper arms and pulled her towards him roughly, her lips falling off his mouth as he shifted her to the left and damn near slammed her against the wall. He followed her, his nose pressing into her neck as his tongue snaked out and danced along her pulse point. Shepard moaned in his ear, "That…that's the protocol of reunions," and then she nibbled at the point where his mandible met jaw and he growled low in his throat.

"Shepard," he breathed outward against her skin. She leaned her head to the side to give him more room and he nipped her just below her ear in mimicry. He was at war now, not with Reapers or Collectors or Geth but with himself. With his need. The need for this woman before him. He pinched his eyes tight as he felt himself begin to open for her. The confines of his armor painful. "Help me out of this…"

And she did. Her hands expertly reached around to the clasps on the sides of his newer armor, gifted to him by the Hierarchy for his involvement with the Task Force. It was new to him, only a few weeks old, but it was similar in design to his older set. The set that was left at his family estate – would he ever see it again?

Or was it lost?

His mind screamed at him, and he snarled against the thoughts that plagued his mind as her expert hands released his carapace from its protection. It swung open and she pushed him back forcefully to get room for him to shrug it off. The loud clang of it brought both his hands and her own to push the bottom half backwards as well. He undid the top clasps, she reached for the ones near his spurs and within half a minute he had stepped out of it and gathered her lithe form up and held her against his own.

Both of them groaned when she slid her arms up on his shoulders and put her legs up and around his waist.

If he hadn't been open and ready – he was now.

"Garrus," she purred as he kissed his neck, his own chin tilting up to give her room as she reached between them and pushed his under armor down, her hand wrapping around his organ. He hissed and kissed her firmly against her mouth, his tongue sliding into it and wrapping around her own – flicking against teeth. She battled with him in the kiss, and he gripped the outside of her thighs, grinding himself upward into her hand. Her heated middle was too close and too far all at the same time.

"Shepard," his subvocal vibrated outward, repeating her name again and again as she moved her hand over the top portion of him, her scent wafting upward – "Let go," he snarled and she did so immediately, "Turn around," he ordered and watched in awe as she unhooked herself from his waist and did as she was told.

Garrus gripped her hips and stepped to stand flush against her back. She was so much smaller than he was, so tiny. So fragile.

"I can help," he would say, one of his talons pushing into her pants on either side of her hips, "I can help you," he promised – and spirits- he didn't even know what he was saying, not really. All he knew was he needed this. He needed to make her forget everything else but him. In this moment, he wanted it to be about just them.

How close it was that they could never have had this.

How close were they to have both not made it off their respective stations?

How close…how close…

Her pants fell to her ankles, and she stepped out of them, she grabbed his right hand and guided it between her legs, and he could feel the slick heat of her as he ran a talon along her slit. His exposed nail sliding gently between her folds. Shepard's head fell back against his chest as she stepped wider apart and he curled his talon up into her, his palm heavy against the nub of nerves she had shown him back…back…

No. He snarled at himself. This was not about then. It wasn't about what will be or what could have been. It wasn't about memories of yesterday or hopes for tomorrow, it was about right now. It was right now.

His form pressed against her back and his tongue came to taste her pulse point again. He could feel her blood pounding through her veins and the very thought of him being the reason caused his seam to split completely open and all of him to expose out into the small space created by his hunched position.

One of Shepard's hands gripped his forearm as he brought his talon nearly out of her and then slid it even further in, he curled it and drew a lazy circle against the inside of her that he had found with his tongue. That spongy button that had caused her mouth to fall open and her legs to shake. He had never seen anything like that. He had never witnessed anything like it since.

Her grip on his forearm tightened and he felt her body press against his, her other hand slamming against the bulkhead as she moaned, her mouth stuttering out nonsensical words and he purred against her jawline, "That's right, Shepard," his tongue teasing against the back of her ear. He wanted her to fall apart. He wanted her to let it go.

He wanted…

She pushed his hand away, his talon slipping out of her channel with an audible release as she made to turn around in his arms. His hands stopped her with firm grips on her hips. "What," she questioned when he tutted with a chuckle.

"No," he nipped at her shoulder, "Let me lead this, Shepard."

"Jane," she bit out, her chin turning so she could peer upwards at him. He looked into her eyes and pressed his mouth against her eyebrow, "I'm Jane right now."

"So be it," he promised as he stepped backwards, one of his hands coming to rest at the nape of her neck, the other staying on her hip as he pulled her backside against him and pushed her shoulders and head down towards the wall. "Hold on to the beam, Jane."

He felt the shudder that went through her body at his words, and watched as she reached out to grab the bar that was a support beam for the bulk. Her small hands tight against the metal as he slid his hand from her hip over the left cheek of her arse. He squeezed it tightly and she sucked in a pained but pleased yelp, before he smoothed his hand downward and slipped it between her thighs from the rear.

"What do you want," he purred, his thumb trailing over the slit of her, but not breaching. He curled his front along her spine and pressed his mouth against her shoulder, nipping just as he flicked her bundle of nerves. She pushed back into him, her shoulders tight.

"I…" she started, "I don't know."

"That's not very comforting," he quipped, replacing his thumb with his foretalon and circling her clit slowly, "I was hoping for a more decisive answer, Jane."

"Garrus," she said on an exhale, though it sounded like a warning. He smirked as he slid his finger into her. "I want you."

He hummed low in his throat, pleased by her answer and moved his hand out of the way to bend at the knee, wide around her own legs, to pull her hips up against him. His member slid through the crack of her ass before hanging loose between her thighs. Both groaning at contact. "You know you have me."

And it was a promise as much as it was a confession.

Because she had had him. From the very first moment he saw her. Perhaps not in this capacity – no – but Shepard had had Garrus none-the-less. He had wanted to be a part of her world, had strived to be, had learned from her and wanted to continue to learn. She was larger than life. Grander than galaxies and yet, when it was just them – she was real. Too fucking real and small and vulnerable. A woman who made mistakes and strived to never make them again. A woman who had loved and lost. Who had fought and died, literally, to ensure that her people survived.

She was better than him.

She was better than all of them.

And yet she would fight tooth and nail against that truth because she would never believe it.

The whole galaxy knew better though.

"Garrus," she whispered softly against the hum of the cannon, his name both a warning and a plea.

"Jane," he responded before he leaned himself back, looking down between the two of them and angled the head of himself at her opening. How easy it was to lift her. To move her exactly where he wanted her to be. Garrus pulled her backwards, guiding himself inside her and the first breech had his claws sharpening into her hips. The pinch into her skin caused her to arch back just as he slid further inward.

Garrus would never be able to explain what this was.

It was more than the feel of it.

The tight channel that stretched to accommodate him. The warmth that seared against his tender member. The softness of her. It was a cocoon of something otherworldly and as he sunk deeper and deeper until he could feel himself press against a wall inside her, he knew that this was the only place he had ever truly belonged.

He had thought, once-upon-a-time, that Monteague had been his home. He had loved him, still did – he knew – but he had been so lost then. So desperate to feel something, he had not known that it could be…more. He had thought he would never have it. And it pained him to think that Monteague would never have been enough for him. He knew it now that he wouldn't have.

Garrus paused, his hands moving up and around her body until he hugged her against him, her hands releasing the wall to reach backwards and hold round his neck. She was as stretched as he was bent and they stayed connected like that, feeling her inner walls tighten and quiver around him. He wanted to disappear like this.

Let the whole world fall away.

Let the sky burn.

As long as this was his end.

His hips moved backward on their own, seeking friction. He frowned against her, as he pushed back in, he wanted to remain here. He wanted the rest of the fucking galaxy to shove it.

She ground herself against him and his mandibles full slack as he pulled backward again. Her hips chased his movement and then, as they always did – they found rhythm.

It was slow at first. A push and pull that felt like water against sore muscles. Like medicine. It pressed against deep rooted hurts that were never spoken about. Like a balm on his soul this dance was. Shepard…no, no…Jane was his partner. On the battlefield, in the boardroom, in private – they moved in a way that two members of two different species shouldn't be capable of. And yet…as she slid along him, and he pressed into her – how could anyone ever doubt that they were meant to be just like this?

Her soft to his hard.

His rigidity to her pliancy.

Her heat to his cold.

Every bit about Jane was his opposite. The sky against the planet. As if coming together they created a horizon of possibilities and promises.

His tongue played against her shoulder blade and their speed increased. She was chasing something, something of her own and he wanted to give it to her. She deserved anything and everything he could give. Spirits what prayers he had spoken in his heart for her. The way he had begged whatever deity would listen to just give him this again. To bring her to him. He had keened into the void at the possibility that she had been lost to him and then – there she was – standing on the moon of his homeworld while it burned against the backdrop of the sky.

Thane had called her a Siha once and in a whispered conversation he had explained what it was.

The Drell – with their memories – knew things far greater than the Turian he had surmised then.

His Arashu and Kalahira taught them to covet what was precious and to bow to what was worthy.

Garrus would have fallen to her feet had she allowed it.

But that wasn't Jane.

That wasn't Commander Shepard.

In her eyes she was the girl who had lived on Mindoir, the woman who had fought on Akuze, the thief of the Normandy from her pseudo-father. She was so small in her own eyes. So tiny and insignificant and unworthy.

His hips slammed against her at the thought. If she wouldn't allow him to say it, if she wouldn't allow him to fall on his knees before her, then he would worship her in the only way she would. Like this. Body to body. One slide of hands against exposed flesh, the flick of his tongue around her throat that caused her to moan into the hum of the main battery. A soft chorus of pleasing notes that filled his senses and spurred him in deeper and deeper and deeper until she was shaking in his arms and his name tumbled from between teeth and lips – an arrow in a beau – ready and waiting…

"That's right, Jane," he felt her tighten around him, her body stiff, "Let go, Shepard," he grunted – his mouth pressed against the crown of her fire fringe, damp against his plates – the sweat of their movements coating her in a sheen of delicious salt that he wanted to lap at.

"Vakarian," she gasped as her body went stiff, her insides fluttering dangerously tight against him, she groaned a deep and dangerous, "Garrrrusss…"

And then she exploded. His eyes closed tightly against the sudden clamping of her body and then the rush of warmth against himself, the pleasing notes of her release coaxing and teasing along his bone plates and he purred and nipped at her shoulder as his body chased her own release with one of his own.

Spirits – his hands released her as they grabbed her hips, the front of her body slamming against the wall as he drove into her, his orgasm building and his greed to feel it overtaking any other thought he may have taken over.

And she let him.

"Yes," she panted, her voice seeming miles away from him, "Yes, please, please Garrus," her little hand grabbing the top of one of his, "Please…"

And he would give her everything if he could – so why…why…his hips thrusted deep…why wouldn't he give her his seed?

It left him with a force that took his breath.

His subvocals were loud as his forehead came to rest against the back of her head and he gasped her name when her little arm snaked up and her hand pressed against the bottom of his fringe. His own release hot and all-too sudden flooding her. His body hummed, his mind blanked and he had to move one leg up and bend them slightly at the force of it so they wouldn't topple over. He reached up to place a hand against the bulkhead to keep from smashing her between his body and the metal.

He chuckled softly when he opened his eyes and found his breathing slowing again, "The ugh…" he slowly pulled backwards and he suppressed a shudder of his own when he slipped out of her, "…the vids mentioned it might go something like that," he frowned at himself as he helped her straighten and stand soundly on her own two feet, "I mean, I had hoped it would…" he chuckled slightly, uncertainty, as he guided himself back into his sheathe. "I didn't know…"

Shepard turned around and smiled at him, a soft and secret one that would be his and his alone, "I can't promise how things will work out – not with this war," she reached for his hand and brought it up to lay a gentle kiss on his knuckle, "I missed you, Garrus," he watched as she laid her cheek against the same knuckle, confessing, "I thought about you so much," and then those green eyes looked up to fall into his blue and he was at a loss of words. They were vulnerable, moving from one of his own to the next, "A lot, actually," she blushed. "When I heard that Palaven had been attacked, I just kept thinking about you and how you would be on the front lines." He scoffed slightly, but she shook her head at him. "You know you would have been, Garrus," her gaze dropped down to his form and slowly raised back to meet his eyes, "I think that what scared…" Shepard grimaced and paused as if she were mulling over her words. After a moment she sighs and gently smiles up at him, "You will never know how grateful I was to see you walk up to me on that moon, never."

"Glad to know," he smirked, a bit taken aback by the seriousness in her words, "…my romantic, ugh, skills…made an impression," he smiled back to her, leaning his forehead gently downward, "Because it's going to take a lot more than Reapers to come between this cross-species liaison."

She pulled him down by his carapace, her laughter puffing out her breath and it airily kissed his chin when she closed the distance and pressed her forehead against his.