The Laws Have Changed - Chapter 5
God, he really fucking hated Harry motherfucking Potter right now.
Stupid, fucking Scarhead.
Muggle-loving, orphaned piece of shit. The bastard should know that he only tolerated Muggle-loving tendencies from her.
That annoying speccy git.
If he wasn't about to die himself, he was going to fucking throttle him once he regained what little strength his already-frail body still had.
He fucking forgot about literally bleeding Sectumsempra and, even though he knew bloody Moaning Myrtle would wail her bloody head off, calling over Severus, it still fucking hurt.
A thousand divine cuts all because Potter thought it was a brilliant idea to use a spell he had never heard of, or used before, during what might be considered an interrogation.
If he didn't need He-Who-Must-Die-For-Our-Sins to actually end the Dark Lord on the off chance he found a way to reverse his fate, he would've been plotting his precise and exacting revenge.
But because he did, in fact, need Wizarding Jesus, he was, instead, writhing on the floor of the abandoned girls' loo; soaking wet because Myrtle just had to flood the toilets, choking on the viscous metallic liquid now filling his lungs, his eyes watching with acute horror as his own blood swirled down the drain.
Time crawled by as he waited for Severus, but before he passed out, he could feel the older man's rage before he heard it. Some swiftly spoken commands were raised at Potter and, then, he again felt the effects of the counter curse.
He let himself pass out as he felt his skin begin to merge itself together.
He had to be dreaming. There was no other explanation for it.
This wasn't their innocent moment from around Christmas and his brain wouldn't dare think to fantasize about something like this. It would be wrong to take advantage of her, even in his dreams.
So why was he dreaming about her, in a hospital kit, brushing his hair out of his face, while she sat on his bed?
There was also no way she was bringing that hand down to grab his own, but then she gave it a squeeze and he almost felt a lightning bolt pass through their palms. His blood boiled to warm his entire body, prompting him to finally take a chance and fully open his eyes.
"Sorry to wake you," she whispered, a slightly sleepy smile gracing her lips.
She was backlit by the full moon creeping through the windows of the Hospital Wing, making her still seem otherworldly; a desperately crafted illusion to ease his pain. The brightness of the moon behind her made him feel as though she was Artemis herself, gracing him with her cold, pure light.
"What are you doing here?" His voice sounded thick and his mouth was cottony from underuse.
"I wanted to see you." She dropped the whisper, but kept her voice low now that he was slightly more cognizant of his surroundings.
His brows creased as he narrowed his eyes, trying to force his brain into activity. He wasn't surprised by Pansy's fervor to visit him, but he was still trying to come to terms with the fact that she was here. "Why?"
"Because I miss you, Draco." She squeezed his hand as she said his given name and he inhaled sharply through his nose.
No, no, no, no, no! This wasn't supposed to be the result of him forcing her away. She was supposed to forget about him. She was supposed to be in the waiting arms of Potter now that she was no longer apparently with Thomas. He could've sworn he saw her and that bastard spending more time together in between classes before the git tried to kill him.
He needed her to get as far away as possible now. June was in less than two months and he didn't need her finding out about his plans and trying to be a goddamn Gryffindor about the whole thing.
Through sheer force of will, he began lifting himself up onto his elbows, panicking when she helped him to a full seated position. He swiveled his legs and made a point to sit next to her, knowing that if he was actually facing her, it would be harder to look away.
"You'll get in trouble once Madame Pomfrey knows you're here," he whispered, trying to use the most logical excuse to get her to leave.
She smirked and shook her head. "No, she won't. I'm staying the night here."
He blinked owlishly before his gaze grazed over her body. Did she get hurt somewhere? Who would've dared try to hurt Harry Potter's obviously soon-to-be girlfriend?
She quietly giggled, amused by his clear confusion. "It's awkward admitting this, but after my first year, I was still getting nightmares of Tom and what he made me do. When I got back to school for my second year, Madame Pomfrey had quietly offered me the ability to come to the Hospital Wing if I ever needed a Dreamless Sleep Potion. I would have to spend the night here, but it would give me some relief." She snorted. "I think I actually surprised her tonight by finally taking her up on her offer."
"You mean, this is the first time you've ever asked for the potion? Why?" He almost didn't want to hear the truth.
"I didn't want to be seen as weak and fragile like most people thought I would be. My first year was tough, but time does, in fact, help to heal some wounds. I'm grateful to be afforded that small blessing." She paused to smile at him. "But I took her up on her offer tonight because it would guarantee that I'd be able to speak with you once she went to bed."
She interlocked her left hand with his right and he felt a prickly kind of heat at her touch; eventually feeling the sensation from head to toe. She'd done all of that to see him. Maybe he had died again before fully healing and this was what his heaven was apparently like.
He didn't even realize it was about to get better.
She looked down at their hands, a candy apple red flush blooming on the tops of her cheeks; tinting her neck and ears as well. She tucked a stray crimson strand behind her ear, bringing her mussed up braid over her right shoulder.
"Um, Draco? Can I try something?"
Yes! he wanted to scream out, suddenly feeling desperate for her and whatever she was willing to give him.
He took a hard gulp, mouth still parched. "Sure, Ginny." His vocal chords began warming up as he tried out her nickname on his tongue. It somehow sounded like the sweetest melody; primed for chanting like a prayer.
"Okay," she whispered, eyes slowly locking with his. They looked bright and beautiful; suffused with the sun and her smile.
She then leaned in, gently pressing her soft lips to his chapped ones. He felt his blood boil again as she brought herself closer to him. He pulled her up to his lap to provide her with the contact they both fiercely craved. She let her hands cup his face or rest against his nape, while he kept his arms wrapped around her waist. Any tighter and it would've felt like a vice.
She was so soft. Everywhere. Her hair, her hands, her cheeks, her eyelids, her nose, her ears, her neck, her waist. He couldn't seem to absorb her fast enough.
Every time he went back to her lips, he had to force himself to slow down. Her bottom lip was already so plump, but he was beginning to like how red it got from continued contact. She was more than what he had ever deserved in either one of his lives and yet, here she was, faking an illness to kiss the literal hell out of him.
It felt like hours before they broke apart, but he rested his forehead on hers when he did.
"Ginny," he breathed out with the reverence he knew his prayer deserved.
"Thank you, Draco," she whispered, placing a hand on his cheek as she pressed another kiss to his lips.
"Why?" It was the third time he had said that simple word that night, but he knew he had to ask it. It was the only thing he could think to say to try to coax the unanswered questions her presence seemed to prompt. He wondered if his precarious and unusual situation prevented him from just accepting things as they came. He knew he had been resigned to whatever his path had in store, even with the slight changes that this new life provided, but he couldn't have predicted that he might have a chance at something that resembled the normal experience of a boy his age. He tempered his expectations, hoping that he would like her answer.
"Would you believe that Hermione was mad at Harry for using that curse on you?"
He shook his head in disbelief. Granger?
She snickered at the face he pulled. "She was and still is. But in that moment, there were two thoughts that floated through my head. The first one that leapt out was that this was the perfect opportunity for me to defend Harry, to get him to take notice of me. However, the second thought was something I wasn't able to identify until I heard what happened to you." A pause for a deep sigh. "I was terrified that you were going to die without me ever seeing you again."
She did a hard swallow, trying to put a pause on her emotions lest they strangle her. "I'm sure it sounds strange, especially considering that I'm the one who does most of the talking, but I missed you. I missed the way you listen to me rant about the stupidest fucking things." A pause as they both chuckled. "I missed your rather splendid Potions tutoring. I missed sitting in companionable silence with you. I missed hearing your increasingly rare laughter. I found myself missing all of it."
HIs heart felt fit to burst from her words, but he still was loathe to see her get entangled in an already twisted web.
"What if I'm unable to give you what you want? I'm sure Potter told you what I tried to curse him with."
"He did tell me, and I do intend to discuss that with you further, but I also know there's things you're trying to shield me from. It's hard to not recognize it when your brother's best friends with Harry Potter." She kissed his cheek. "I'm sure that one day you'll explain everything to me, but I want to trust the path you're on. You and Harry are more alike than you'd think. You're both incredibly loyal to those you actually like. You're both unafraid to bend the rules a bit to work in your favor. And you're both willing to make sacrifices if it means doing what's right in the end. Except you tend to do what's right for those close to you rather than for the benefit of the whole of the world," she ended with a laugh.
"The path I'm on is too dangerous." He could feel the silent tears coating his lips. "You'll only grow to hate me soon enough."
She kissed both cheeks, then his closed eyelids, hoping to ease his mind. "I'm willing to reserve judgement should I need to cross that bridge." She cupped his face with both hands. "All I want right now, until that day comes, is to be your safe haven. A small light in the dark to keep you grounded. Even though I know you don't feel worthy, I'm telling you that you, Draco Malfoy, are."
He opened his eyes, observing the tenacity held in hers. He wanted to fight it, but she was just as stubborn as he was and he was too tired to argue with her anymore.
He gave her a small smile. "Alright, Ginny. You win."
He was surprised at her request to sleep in the same bed, but he had already conceded his defeat and was more than happy to know what she felt like curled up against him.
When his first brought her head to his pillow, they laid facing each other, hands intertwined between them.
She looked radiant, eyes alight with warmth and affection and caring. She could have easily chosen the comfort and the safety of what was expected of her, but she put her trust in him instead. He could've had this so much sooner if he wasn't so bogged down by his guilt and shame.
He brought their clasped hands up to his mouth and kissed hers. He let go, pulling her closer to him so he could feel the softness of her lips on his once more. He found himself absently thinking about the fact that in a different year, his hormones might've made things a bit inconvenient for him; but he was, for once, grateful for his perpetual state of exhaustion. He didn't need to scare her away by being a typical teenage boy.
She grinned against his lips and pulled away. "You know, I expect more of that the next time you help me with my Potions homework."
He kissed her nose in response, enjoying the way she scrunched it upon contact. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
She sighed after a moment, letting her right hand rest on his cheek, her thumb absently stroking his cheekbone. "Not to ruin the mood, but I do want to know why you tried using the Cruciatus on Harry."
He exhaled as he felt his lips go from a small smile to a frown at her words. "To be honest, I wasn't thinking." He rolled onto his back, afraid to maintain eye contact with her. He knew he couldn't reveal everything to her yet, and she knew that too, but he was nervous that even revealing the smallest amount would push her away from him. He had only just let himself accept that she shared the same feelings that he had been agonizing over these last few months. He wasn't sure if he could handle her rejection at a time like this.
He knew she could tell that he was contemplating how to present his version of events and he waited for some kind of acknowledgement that he could move forward. She wrapped her body around him, letting her right leg drape over his, followed by her right arm resting on his chest, with her hand instinctively settling over his fluttering heart. He shifted to place his arm underneath her, cradling her close to him. She sighed at the protective gesture before tilting her head up to look at him.
"I'm still here, Draco," she murmured and he took a deep breath before continuing.
"I wasn't fully comfortable confiding in anyone this year. Not even my own friends and especially not to you, although I'm aware that I do have you to share things with now." He added the last bit when he felt her go rigid against him. When he brushed his lips against the top of her head, she relaxed, but he gave her a tight squeeze as additional reassurance. "For whatever reason, Myrtle's bathroom seemed like the best place to hide when I didn't want to be found by anyone. Sometimes I'd tell her bits and pieces of what I was doing and she, surprisingly, didn't feel compelled to clue anyone in to our conversations."
He paused again, still working out the words in his head before they unwillingly tumbled out of him. "It's hard hiding your emotions all the time. Apparently, I'm a natural at masking them, but that bathroom turned out to be one of the few places where I didn't have to hide myself as much. And yes, Ginny, I know I don't have to do that around you anymore." He couldn't help the chuckle that escaped from his lips at the adorable huff he felt rumble against his chest. "I didn't even realize Potter was following me. All I remember is going to that lav because I was bottling everything up and, sometimes, crying seems like the only solution. When I tried leaving, Potter and I began dueling. Unfortunately, my emotional state clouded my judgement and I attempted to cast that curse before I could even stop myself."
He took another deep, shuddering breath and this time, he could feel her squeezing him; a silent insistence for him to get the moment out of his system.
"I wish I could tell you everything, and I know I eventually will, but just know that there were some things I was forced to learn prior to this term; that curse being one of them. I'm not proud of it though. My Aunt Bella says that in order for the Cruciatus Curse to be effective, you have to mean it. Even as I began to say it to Potter, I knew that it wasn't going to work."
He felt her shift again and glanced down to see that she had placed both arms across his chest, letting her head rest on top of her hands. He followed her line of sight to see that she was looking at one of the bandages peeking out from underneath his nightshirt.
"What was Sectumsempra like?" Her words were whispered as she continued gazing at the gauze covering his collarbone.
"It fucking hurts." He smiled as he felt the vibrations of her giggles over his stomach. "It's like having a very sharp knife dig into your skin to slash you, but it's at least a dozen slashes and — here's the real fun part — all of those slashes are happening at the same time."
They both rearranged themselves so they were facing each other once more. She brought her hand up to gently touch the exposed bandages.
"Does it still hurt?"
"Not as much as it did before I was brought here. Although, I do have to admit that it is morbidly fascinating to watch one's own blood go down a drain."
"Draco!"
He frowned at the panicked tone in her exclamation. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, letting his gaze drift down.
She grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him, letting him feel all the anxiety and stress she'd been struggling with since she'd heard why he had been taken to the Hospital Wing. He pulled her close again, realizing that this particular kiss was the manifestation of her determination to see him.
When they broke away, confusion shaped his features as she adopted her standard thinking face, frantically hoping she wasn't changing her mind.
"I won't tell anyone about us. I've kept our meetings a secret thus far and I'll continue to keep it that way until you feel ready."
He felt the tension that he didn't know he was holding release itself from his limbs, but he kept up his mask of confusion. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, Draco," she paused to press a finger to the space between his brows, laughing when he finally relaxed, "I'm sure. I know it would make things difficult for you more so than me and I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to be your safe haven for as long as you'll let me."
"How can you be so understanding?" he asked, kissing her palm as an implied apology.
"Because 11-year-old me would've appreciated a safe haven."
He brought his lips to hers again, realizing that he would eventually drown in the harbor she provided him. It may not be that very night, but he knew that some time soon, he would need her light to help guide him back to shore.
Another eternity seemed to pass before they broke away and she looked at him with a tired, yet satisfied smile.
"We should get some sleep."
He nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead before she turned and rested her back against his chest. He placed his right arm under her neck as support; letting his left one drape over her waist. He grinned into her hair as she sighed, wriggling herself against him to find a comfortable spot.
It was only when he felt her breathing even out did he allow himself to drift off into a blessedly dreamless sleep.
Some time around sunrise he thought he felt her lips brush against his, imbuing him with one last bit of warmth. She moved his hair out of his face, untangled her limbs from his, and quietly got out of his bed.
In his haze, he wanted to protest, but he should've given her due credit when he heard a door creak open.
The conversation between Ginny (he was brave enough now to use her name in his thoughts) and Madame Pomfrey was hushed, but their tones sounded lighthearted. The Mediwitch was trying to fuss over her and he could hear the reassurances that she slept just fine and she appreciated her concern.
He felt a smile creep over his lips as Ginny's tone toed the line of pleasantness and exasperation.
When he rolled over to prevent the older woman from making him her next target, he felt the crinkle of parchment under his pillow. With his back to the pair, he slid his hand underneath, slowly pulling out the small missive to prevent his own inevitable check in.
Another smile when he realized the note was from Ginny.
Sorry for leaving so soon. I didn't want Madame Pomfrey to catch us.
When you're feeling better, I'll meet you in our normal spot.
xx
He placed the note back where he found it and flipped onto his back, lest he incur Madame Pomfrey's wrath for moving around too much when his body was still healing.
He could feel himself being lulled back to sleep; the sound of Ginny's shoes getting quieter as she headed toward the exit. When the door had closed behind her, he finally heard the voice he had been patiently waiting for all these months.
Still slightly detached, mechanical, and indifferent.
"Congratulations. The second prerequisite has been completed."
Well, that certainly made things interesting, didn't it?
A/N - Thank you, as always, for reading! I'm still continuously surprised at the love people have given this fic thus far and I cannot thank everyone enough. ?
This was a fun chapter to write, especially Draco's internal thoughts at the beginning. I also know that some of y'all were probably waiting for this moment to happen, so hopefully it was enjoyable to read.