Suddenly, but without surprise, your eyebrows reached to your hairline at the sight of him. You hadn't seen him since New York, well, you hadn't had a conversation with him since then. That was, without saying, countless years ago. "L-Loki. What are you doing here in the Headquarters?" He exhaled a dry chuckle before asking, "I wanted to see you, (Name). Did you not miss me?" You didn't want to admit it, but, secretly, you did miss him. In fact, you missed him dearly every time you were away from him, but you knew that if you ever mentioned him around the team, they would question your loyalty to their cause. So, you didn't know exactly how to feel or what to say upon witnessing his presence.
"No." You decided to lie, to push him away. That was better than being exiled from your workplace and being dismissed from your friends. "Don't be ridiculous." You said. His expression then became that of disappointment. "Should I dismiss myself then," he asked, "and force myself to forget about our past and leave you forever?" He now towered above you thanks to his formidable height, and his blue eyes locked with yours, holding your own eyes captive in his intense stare. His contemptuous behavior left you utterly speechless. You were shocked, and the silence consumed you and made you shrink into a nervous singularity.
It may have been years since your last encounter with this man, but that didn't change the fact that you were profoundly infatuated with him. Since you first met, his very gaze entranced you, it dictated your every thought. At first you thought it was his magic, but you realized his actions involving you were genuine. No influencing, no coaxing, no tricks. None of that was involved, and it was intriguing; the man who was born to deceive others was the one who completely disposed of his spurious actions within your presence. You couldn't have been that special to him, but it was without question that he was special to you. Only, you assumed that, but you couldn't quite discern his feelings towards you whenever he wore that damned smirk across his face.
"Then I suppose I shall excuse myself since you have nothing to say." And just like thin air, he vanished, leaving any secular presence behind to subside. You sighed and shuffled to your nightstand. You knew that you could easily call him back, but that was if you had the wit. Either way, he would not return after he had his last word. You were sure of it, because that was in his nature.
Instead of moping about the previous circumstance, you undressed and gathered your towel and washcloth to bathe. You stepped into one of the most eminent bathrooms you had ever seen. It was just like the one you always wanted–an exquisite cast iron bathtub that was spacious on the inside and curved on the edges, a large sink which posed as a miniature replica, pristine white tiles on the floor and walls, a tiny chandelier, and a large mirror that you could stare into and look at yourself for hours. This was your dream come true. Maybe Tony finally picked up your rambling and constructed this just for you, so it could wait for your next visit. And here you were, looking right at it. Standing right in it. You felt practically royal.
After plugging the drain, you turned the squeaky knobs. You watched the water fall gracefully, and you grabbed the soap and poured it along the stream, yielding bubbles on the surface. You couldn't wait to get in, just watching the bubbles form and smelling the tropical aroma was intoxicating. Without any more time being wasted, you entered the tub one leg at a time, and sank into the warmth of the bath as you turned the knob in the adverse direction. With each minute passing by, you sank deeper, inch by inch, until the water was up to your chin. You thought it would cause your knees to be exposed to the chilly drifts, but the tub was bigger than you thought. So, you closed your eyes.
Suddenly, your mind started racing again. You thought about Loki. About how he spoke to you. How he looked at you. How he stood over you. Everything about him drew you in closer and closer. Your head was oscillating, and you had to quickly open your eyes to make sure the world wasn't spinning. It was insane, what this man could do to you. All these emotions of yours, and you were still unsure of his. One moment, he showed deep affection. The next, he showed liberal attention. However, during your last encounter, you couldn't quite tell what he was attempting to express towards you. He seemed angry, but he was never angry. He was always just so agitated with Midgardians in general. So that's what it was? He was agitated with you? Ugh. All this thinking was degrading your already-pathetic wit. "Get it together, (Name)…" you whispered to yourself.
You let the water graze your bottom lip, and you pressed your eyelids together in hopes of calming down. So much for that. The same thoughts were still racing, as if there was a competition to win. To make it clear what you wanted. At this point, you knew. You were persistent about getting in his head. He was always in yours, anyway, even if he wasn't a mind reader. He always knew your next move. So, your plan was to wiggle your way in his mind and get some information out. What did this man really think about you? You thought again, yet slower. Maybe just ask him…? No, that's too obvious. Well, he probably always knew you felt something different towards him that you never felt towards anyone else. He might not even feel the same way, so why is this whole situation so important?!
JUST. STOP. You opened your eyes and silenced your thoughts as you looked at the marble ceiling. You made it clear to yourself. Next time you see him, just talk to him some more. Don't be so shy. Just take the initiative. His feelings will come out sooner or later and he just came back, give it some time and he will eventually reveal his true emotions. Good… that sounded really good. Just take it easy, (Name). Everything will be fine.
You closed your eyes again, this time more peacefully than before. And you allowed yourself to drift off and let sleep find its way to you. Soon, you became unconscious in its embrace, and all your troubled thoughts ceased to exist.
You woke up not too long after, and the aroma of the meadow you lay in and the sunlight peering thought the clouds met your eyes behind their lids, and so you opened them. The rays were blinding, but your eyes adjusted, and you wiped the hair from your face. You noticed Loki pacing towards you in the distance. After an eternity he finally reached you, ferns in his hand, dressed in his black emerald drapes. He stared at you graciously as his raven black hair gently swayed in the wind. He spoke, but no words came out. No sound whatsoever managed to reach your ears. You saw him mouth, "I love you." You refused to believe he would ever say such a thing to you, and instead you tried to communicate with him. All forms failed (you even yelled at him) until you reached up to him as he continued to speak. You went right through him, just as you thought you would. Even in your dreams he was inaccessible... You began to wonder why you ever took a liking to him when you knew you could never have him.
The aching and longing of your heart slowly woke you from your dream, and you sat up in your bed. Wait, didn't you fall asleep in the tub last night? Who drained it? And more importantly, who removed you from it and placed you in your bed? You were still nude then! You were thankful yet embarrassed that someone would carry you to your primary source of comfort, only to see your body in its naturally bare state as well. However, your mind was too hazy, and your eyelids were too heavy for you to waste time and dwell on it.
You swung your legs over the bed, slipped on your green robe, and followed the heavenly scent of breakfast downstairs into the kitchen. Tony was cooking with Pepper. Pancakes, sausage, bacon, and eggs waited for you on your plate as it sat idly on the shiny, polished marble, emitting steam into the air. Without looking at you, Tony said, "Better get it while it's still hot, (Name), I just whipped that up for you." Pepper shot a glare at Tony. "We just whipped that up for you." She said to you, still looking at him. You watched incessantly as she turned her focus back onto the gas stove and flipped the next two pancakes in the pan. Tony playfully smacked her arse and she let out a childish giggle. You let out a soft chuckle—feeling slightly embarrassed—and grabbed your glass of orange juice and stepped into the dining hall. It was quite full this morning. Steve, who sat at the very front, stood up to engulf you in his strong and firm embrace. A bit too happily, he said, "Morning, (Sasha)." You glanced around at Thor, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Natasha, and Bruce as they each gave you whole-hearted smiles and chanted good mornings to you. All this attention made you feel special. It had been so long since you had any…
Steve finally loosened his hold on you after you were held in his embrace for a bit longer than you would have liked. But from a man like him, it didn't bother you much. "Steve, I thought you and Tony had a falling out. Why are you here?" You asked, afraid of the answer. You expected him to scowl, but he showed off a wide grin and said, "Well, that's true, but who said I couldn't visit?" He laughed and went on to say, "Tony didn't have a problem with it, so I wanted to come by for a few weeks. Besides, I missed you guys too much. It's kinda lonely in Wakanda." He pulled out a chair for you and you sat, placing your items on the table. He sat back in his seat. "And we are going to the beach today, by the way." Natasha stated from the other end of the table as she shot a glance at Captain America. "Steve kept persisting, so we had to give in." She chuckled. "When?" you asked. Tony yelled from the kitchen, "In like, ten minutes, so hurry up and finish!" You were excited to go to the beach, but you didn't have a bathing suit. "Is there something wrong, (Name)?" Steve glanced at you as he shoved the last forkful of eggs on his plate into his mouth. You shook your head shyly. "Well, I don't have a bathing suit." He chuckled. "I can help you get one, (Name). It's not such a big deal." He gave you a reassuring smile. "But finish your breakfast, we need to head out soon, while the sun is still up." He said it as if the Sun had only an hour to shine on us. You nodded and quickly finished your plate in less than five minutes, and the team took the remaining time to pack the quinjet and get it going.
You walked outside to join Steve and the others. He had his back facing you, but you felt awkward just looking at his broad shoulders and his oddly long, silky hair. Something told you that he had a strange affinity for you. He was overly nice to you… You pushed the thought away and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Steve." You looked down and then back up to his blue eyes nervously. "Ready to go?" He grinned and elatedly stated, "As ready as I'll ever be, (Name). I'm gonna make sure you get the swimsuit you like, and I'm also gonna make sure you're gonna have a fun time at the beach." He took your hand in his and led you inside the quinjet. As the door closed, Natasha and Steve started to talk, and Nat made a few glances at you. She seemed a bit amused but concerned—maybe decisive—at the same time. Of course, they were talking about you. You saw Tony start up the quinjet up front. Bucky sat beside Steve and, of course, Vision and Wanda sat beside each other. She smiled and rested her head against his shoulder as she closed her eyes. They were so happy… You loved the connection they shared, even you could feel it and you weren't even that close with them. Vision did have very interesting conversations to bring forth, and Wanda was so open-minded about them, she was so accepting. They were the perfect couple. They were perfect for each other.
Thor sat beside you, ripping your attention away from them and brining you to the present. "How did you sleep last night, (Name)?" Oh, shit. Don't mention Loki, don't mention Loki. Just focus on the bath you took. "I took a bath last night, but I… I woke up in my bed." Damn it, why did you tell him that? His brows furrowed. "Do you know how that happened?" To be honest, no. You didn't. "Maybe Steve did. I'm not sure." He leaned his head against the wall of the quinjet as it took off into the blue. "Well I certainly think it to be quite odd. But maybe you sleepwalked." Yeah, you would like to believe that. "Yeah, I think so, too." You said. You could feel the perspiration trickling down your spine and the heat washing over you like a huge wave. The two of you sat idly in silence until you reached the beach not long after.
You got out and walked to Nat and matched her path to the sand. "N-Natasha…" She quickly lifted her gaze to you as she pulled off her shirt and unzipped her pants before removing them entirely. "Yeah, what's wrong?" You gulped. "Um, what were you and Steve talking about earlier?" She laughed. "Oh, that. He was just worrying about what bathing suit to get you. He's actually going to do that now." She pointed to Steve, who walked into the closest clothing shop. Why would he ever buy something so close to the beach? The prices were always so high because everyone loved to be there. Well, most likely, he didn't care about the money. He wanted to "make sure you get the swimsuit you like." You let out a soft chuckle and followed behind Nat to the waves, and Bruce quickly joined her. He gave you an awkward smile and returned his attention to Nat before she pecked his cheek and giggled. You rolled up the bottom of your jeans and let the cool water splash onto your feet. It was so relaxing… You saw Thor in the water, surfing. He seemed to really be enjoying himself. You knew that if he wasn't talking about Asgard, he was talking about the waves and how he would ride them, and how he could ride them from sunrise to sunset. Now you saw how much he really enjoyed it. Wanda and Vision sat in the sand, making tiny castles and moats. Again, you thought about the affinity they shared with each other. You looked up into the sky. No clouds were in sight. Just the sun and its rays of light.
You dropped your attention to your feet, as the miniature waves passed your ankles. You walked deeper until the waves crashed onto your stomach. Your jeans and shirt were soaked. You walked further until the waves reached your chin, your eyes heavily glazed over and your muscles moving without control. You were frightened. One more step, and you the water would invade your mouth and fill your lungs and you would drown. The waves crashed onto you harder and harder. Eventually they submerged you completely. That was it. The water filled your lungs and you began to sink into the depths of the blue. The strain was awful, but it was inescapable. Soon, everything went black.
You woke up in the same meadow from earlier. The same chain of events linked together. Loki walked towards you. He mouthed the three words. Yet again, you reached up to him, and went through him. "(Name)…" The oddly familiar voice echoed into your ears from the distance. "(NAME)." It was closer now. It was definitely closer. You blinked, and your eyes opened to a blinding light that diminished with an orangey disintegrating effect. The vivid lavender ferns and the cloudy blue sky were gradually replaced by pale green walls and a small chandelier, but Loki was still hovering above you, just like he was in the dream. You shifted your head against your pillow to glance at the bedside lamp, then back at him. Wait, your head was on a pillow… and… your body was lying in a bed. "W-Where am I?" you asked, Loki eyeing you intensely. "You are in my home. I found you washed up on the shore a week ago." You shook your head in disbelief. "I was with the others. With Steve and Natasha and…" You couldn't finish your sentence. Tears plucked your eyes. All you wanted to do was go back to them. Deep down you were happy to see Loki, but you didn't know what he would do. For all you knew, he had you all to himself.