The cafeteria was unusually calm today. No food fights, no Cecilia trying to prove British cuisine superiority, and no Laura throwing her fork like a combat knife because someone took the last pudding. Ichika sat at the edge of the table, chewing thoughtfully on a melon bun. Across from him, five pairs of eyes sparkled with enthusiasm as the girls leaned in close, whispering and giggling like it was some secret mission.

Houki started it. "If you were to be a bride, what would your ideal wedding be like?"

Cecilia scoffed. "Obviously, something elegant. Royalty standard. Preferably in a rose garden in the British countryside with a horse-drawn carriage. Oh, and a violin quartet."

Lingyin cut in with a grin. "That sounds expensive. I'd want mine on top of a mountain! Like, cherry blossoms falling, big buffet afterward, maybe some martial arts demo for entertainment."

Charlotte tilted her head, smiling softly. "I always thought a simple beach wedding would be nice… barefoot in the sand, soft music, close friends."

Laura slammed her hand on the table. "Combat drills at dawn. Then, we duel. If he defeats me, he earns the right to marry me. Honor and victory!"

"…Y-Yeah," Houki blinked. "That sounds… very you, Laura."

Ichika blinked, caught halfway through sipping juice. Ideal brides, huh?

His mind wandered—past the girls bickering, past the elaborate, probably expensive, and mildly dangerous ceremonies they were dreaming up—until it landed on someone unexpected.

Chifuyu-nee.

His older sister. The iron-fisted homeroom teacher of Class One, former IS Champion, and wielder of the glare that could reduce grown men to whimpering puddles.

Did she… ever think about being a bride?

Moments later...

Knock. Knock.

"Come in," came the voice.

Ichika stepped in, spotting Chifuyu at her desk, flipping through files with the precision of someone who could probably disassemble and reassemble a rifle blindfolded.

She didn't look up. "What do you want, idiot?"

"I was just wondering," he started, his voice slightly unsure, "do you ever think about being a bride?"

Schliiick—the sound of a pen freezing mid-sentence.

Chifuyu slowly turned to look at him, eyebrow twitching. "...What did you just say?"

"You know…" Ichika rubbed the back of his neck, now very aware of how warm the room suddenly felt. "Being married. A bride. That kind of stuff."

Silence.

Then—

"Are you stupid?"

"No! I mean—yes? No. I just overheard the girls talking about ideal brides and weddings and stuff, and I thought—what about you? Like, do you ever think about it?"

Chifuyu stared at him. The kind of stare that made nations reconsider war. "Ichika," she said flatly, "do you have a concussion?"

"I'm just asking!" he defended. "You're amazing, strong, smart—some guy out there probably dreams about making you his bride!"

"Gross."

"C'mon, Chifuyu-nee, seriously. You've never thought about it? Even once?"

Chifuyu frowned. "What I think about is not getting dragged into your ridiculous love-harem chaos. And now you're bringing that nonsense to me? Should I get you a psychologist?"

Ichika chuckled nervously. "I mean, I wouldn't mind if my ideal bride was someone like you."

Chifuyu blinked.

Then turned red.

"…You are disturbingly weird, you know that?"

"I'm just saying! Someone reliable, strong, protective… honestly, you'd make a great bride. Not to me! I mean—yes—but no. You know what I mean!"

She narrowed her eyes, her blush deepening just a shade.

"You're lucky your harem didn't hear that. Otherwise, they'd bug the hell out of me thinking you've got some twisted older-sister complex."

Ichika raised his hands defensively. "I don't! I swear! It's just, you're kind of… the ideal. For a lot of people, probably. Not just me."

Chifuyu scoffed, grabbing her coffee like it was a stress ball. "My ideal day involves peace and a cold beer. Not a wedding gown."

"…You'd look good in one, though."

The mug clinked against the table.

"You're on thin ice, Ichika."

"…Copy that."

Later that day, Ichika returned to the classroom, where the girls had moved on from brides to discussing honeymoon destinations. As he sat down, he felt a chill crawl up his spine.

Houki leaned over. "Where were you?"

"Oh, just… talking to Chifuyu-nee."

Cecilia smirked. "About what?"

"…Nothing!"

Laura narrowed her eyes. "You have secrets."

"I don't! I just—Hey, is that pudding?"

The girls weren't buying it.

But up in the faculty lounge, Chifuyu looked out the window, sipping her now-lukewarm coffee, muttering under her breath.

"…Idiot."

It was rare, almost legendary: a Chifuyu Orimura day off. Birds sang sweeter, the clouds parted, and students across the Academy whispered of the mythical event.

But instead of enjoying her day in peace, solitude, and beer, Chifuyu found herself walking through a crowded shopping district… with Ichika.

"Why are you even here?" she asked, eyes hidden behind her black sunglasses, arms crossed as they walked side-by-side.

Ichika shrugged, hands in his hoodie pocket. "What? Can't I want to hang out with my sister once in a while? We barely get time together when you're not threatening my life."

Chifuyu gave him a sideways glance. "I only threaten your life when you deserve it."

"…Which is like, every day."

"Exactly."

Despite the bickering, their walk was oddly peaceful. The sun was shining, the food stalls were giving out samples, and Ichika was starting to believe—maybe, maybe—he wouldn't get drop-kicked into a trash can today.

Then they passed it.

A boutique window filled with elegant dresses. Chic, stylish, bold colors. But one in particular stood on a mannequin: a flowing, deep crimson cocktail dress with subtle sparkles and a slit at the side.

Ichika stopped in his tracks. "Whoa."

Chifuyu blinked. "What?"

"That dress. It'd look amazing on you."

Her face immediately twitched into a frown. "What the hell did you just say?"

"I mean it!" Ichika gestured to the window. "You've got the height, the poise—you'd pull it off easily. Come on, try it on!"

Chifuyu's eyebrow twitched like a sword ready to unsheathe.

"Did you hit your head on the way here?"

Ichika laughed. "No! I'm serious. You'd look great. And it's your day off! Just have a little fun."

"This isn't fun, it's embarrassing. What if someone sees me? Worse—what if your harem of rabid fangirls sees me and gets ideas?"

Ichika paled slightly at the thought. "Yeah, that would… definitely spiral out of control."

"Damn right it would."

"Still…" he grinned. "No one's around. Just us. What's the harm in trying it on? You never get to do this kind of thing."

Chifuyu crossed her arms again, glaring at the dress, then at Ichika.

Then back at the dress.

"…You're not going to shut up about it, are you?"

"Nope."

"…Fine."

Ichika's face lit up. "Really?!"

"But you're paying for everything we've picked up today."

"Wait, what—?"

"ALL of it. Including the jacket, the snacks, and that imported hair serum I threw in just to test you."

Ichika paled. "That stuff costs like ¥12,000!"

"You wanted this. You deal with the consequences."

Ten minutes later…

Ichika sat on a bench inside the boutique, drumming his fingers nervously on his knees.

Then the curtain rustled.

And Chifuyu stepped out.

The dress hugged her frame perfectly, the color complimenting her hair and bringing out a fierce, bold elegance that Ichika could only describe as "scary hot"—not that he'd ever say that out loud unless he had a death wish.

He blinked. "Whoa."

Chifuyu rolled her eyes. "Don't 'whoa' me, you're the one who dragged me into this."

"But you look awesome!"

"Shut up."

A few of the other customers nearby stared. One guy dropped his shopping bag. Another blushed so hard he backed into a clothing rack.

Chifuyu noticed. Her eyes narrowed.

"I'm going back in."

"No no no! Wait!" Ichika flailed. "You're the coolest older sister ever. Seriously. Like, if you ever got married, people would probably faint at the aisle just seeing you."

She stopped, blinking at him.

"…You're still weird."

"And you're still awesome."

"Idiot."

Meanwhile, outside the store…

Behind a display of mannequins, five heads slowly peeked out in horror.

Houki: "Is that… Chifuyu-sensei?"

Charlotte: "Wearing a dress?!"

Cecilia: "Ichika brought her here?!"

Lingyin: "He's smiling. Why is he smiling?!"

Laura: fuming silently, eye twitching, muttering German battle curses

They stared at each other.

Then as one, they whispered:

"...He's dead."

Back inside, Ichika stretched. "Alright, ready to go?"

Chifuyu returned in her usual clothes, holding a shopping bag. "Yes. But you're carrying this. And this. And—"

"Wait, wasn't that from another store?"

"And this too."

"...I regret everything."

She smirked.