Warning for self harm / suicide.
Morning rolled on, and the Engineer's prayers wouldn't have been answered.
Having little clue on how long he'd slept, he opened his eyes and would suddenly find himself falling over the very moment all feeling had returned to his body. His descent being paired with the sound of his weapons clattering against the floor, it was obvious that he wasn't at the hay pile anymore. Groaning - his face now sore from 'gently' kissing the ground, he slowly peered upward to see that his concerns were correct; having found himself in the spawn doors that were previously inaccessible to him, surrounded.
Everybody had been in the same positions from last night, staring forward without acknowledging the sudden clattering beside them. He blinked, and he suddenly found himself standing again with his body locked in an unnaturally stiff position just like his team, looking forward all the same. Despite this, he was still able to look around as normal, even swap between his weapons, but he found himself unable to move his legs or reach out his arms; neither of the associated parts of his body would shudder or shake as though pushing through a barrier, but would instead just wouldn't respond to him.
Had it not been for the sound of a medi-gun constantly beginning to heal before switching to a different target, the silence would have driven him mad. Looking to his right, he saw the Medic again, who was simply rotating around and healing each of his teammates to a sufficient level of overheal, moving onto the next. Engineer looked on toward the Medic as he became the target of healing for a brief moment, his face pleading for some kind of answer as to what was going on, but...
Just like last night, the Medic was expressionless, eyes empty as though lacking the capacity to even recognise the Engineer was trying to get his attention through stares, with the Medic's gaze breaking away from the Engineer's at the very moment he was healed enough.
"Medic is credit to team!" Spoke his Heavy, as would some others speak their own versions of a 'thank you' to the doctor, yet they wouldn't move or turn around, their faces briefly showing gratitude before returning to that slate from before.
"... What is happening?" Began the Engineer, his thoughts escaping aloud from a genuine loss for words. This was all too much for him and no matter how much he tried to keep himself calm, his heart was thumping with fear. Thanks to serving in Mann. Co for many, many years, the Engineer was no stranger to otherworldly beings like Merasmus and entities like the Skeleton King, but this was something much grander than that; something beyond any humanity or recognition. Something he couldn't see, nor could he witness, was keeping him and his team like this. But despite everything, he only had one question.
Why was he different? Why was he, out of everybody, "free" from whatever this was?
Suddenly, an alarm bell rang to indicate the beginning of the morning's fight, and everybody that was previously stationary suddenly bolted out of the spawn room, yelling war cries in near-perfect synchronization as they left the Engineer in the dust. As soon as this happened, his body became responsive again - but he was prepared this time, catching himself and stumbling for a brief second instead of having an early reunion with the floor. As he gathered his bearings, the Engineer would begin to head outside with everybody else, already hearing the sounds of distant combat.
Stepping out onto the balcony of Teufort, he almost felt a sense of calm from the familiarity that came from hearing people shout amongst the gunfire, but as he looked outward to face the battlements, he would notice that the same was happening to the enemy team as well, all perfectly replicating the robotic movement his own team had. All of this wasn't too dissimilar from Gray Mann's robots; the way they moved, fought, and merely just 'worked', almost mirrored exactly what it was like to fight the robot doubles of the Mercenaries.
Looking closer at the field, he witnessed bullets ripping through an enemy Soldier - blood splattering out with a portion of his uniform doused in a dark crimson around where he was hit. However, there was no evidence of any wounds, no bullet holes, nowhere for the blood to have suddenly burst out from, like the bullet had stopped existing upon impact. Hell, the Soldier was even shot through the shoulder, which would've normally broken it - but he simply tanked onward with a simple pained grunt before opening fire back at his attackers.
Engineer had recalled many times in his life where he was heavily injured on the field, screaming in pain and forced to retreat back to a first aid kit, dispenser, or otherwise. Yet, here? It seemed like it didn't matter how badly someone was 'hurt', it didn't prevent them from functioning normally whatsoever. This continued for a couple of minutes, and the Engineer continued to watch, noting all of the small details where the blood on the Soldier didn't trail down, nor did he bleed any more after the initial hit. Eventually, he let out one final, pained cry, and fell to the floor with his 'corpse' disappearing in a blink.
A laser would find itself placed on his chest, forcing him to instinctively attempt to dodge out of the way before he was suddenly hit with a round, the sudden jolt of pain forcing a yell as he suddenly collapsed, tripping over himself and falling flat on his back - just out of sight of the enemy Sniper. He looked down, writhing as he saw his now torn overalls, blood welling out of a wound that stretched deep into him, slowly leaking blood and staining his blue overalls. Just as he was about to cry out in pain, he blinked again.
And all that was left was the blood on his overalls. His wound, the tear in his clothes, both gone with the pain. Shaken, his hands trembled as he sat himself up, panting. "I-I don't understand." He mumbled to himself, staring at what should've been his wound, doubting his own sanity. How was he meant to understand any of this? What did he do to deserve all of this chaos throwing his life askew? No. No! He shook his head, telling himself to show some resilience. He was an Engineer; he solved problems, and this was one big problem. All of this was driving him mad, but he'd never forgive himself if he didn't try to find some kind of answer to it. After all, what would become of his team if he just fled?
Still shaking, the Engineer rose back up to his feet and would take a couple of moments to collect his thoughts, before heading back inside to the area just in front of his spawn room. Subconsciously knowing that he was 'hurt' despite feeling just fine, he decided to place down his dispenser, hearing that voice in his head tell him of how much 'metal' he 'lost'. Despite everything that was happening, the odd way his buildings worked now was the only thing he could get used to thanks to how efficient it was as opposed to having to do everything himself.
After healing up from standing near the dispenser for a couple of moments, he would once again hear that voice, telling him his health was restored. Quite honestly, he was sick of it. It was his thoughts, so the only thing that should be speaking in them is himself! "What's the meaning of this?" He replied through his thoughts to no response. He asked again, this time speaking aloud and with quite a hostile tone to his voice, and was met with another voice - faint and mumbling, yet clearly not the same as the last one.
With a stressed sigh, the Engineer leant back against the nearest wall and placed his head in his hands, feeling the urge to start sobbing into them to alleviate his stress.
"Engineer," A voice spoke from ahead of him, forcing him to look back up and reintroduce himself to the world, now facing the cold, dead stare of the Spy, who now had an eyebrow raised, "What are you doing?" He asked, though the Engineer's mind was more occupied with noticing how the Spy was the only other person that didn't have locked up arms other than himself - fluid with his movements, just like the Engineer. "It's been five minutes, where are your defenses?" He concluded, though got progressively more annoyed as the Engineer wouldn't reply for a couple of moments.
"Defenses?" Echoed the Engineer, a short, maddened laugh escaping him, "You look out there and see all of that happening, and you care more about some damned sentry placement?" He hissed, followed by an offended scoff as he suddenly lunged for the Spy, grabbing him by the lapels of his suit's jacket, "You better answer to me why everybody else is actin' like they came straight outta Gray Mann's army! I always thought you knew something we didn't, and was this what you were hiding? Are you behind al-"
"Get off of me-" Scowled the Spy in turn as he suddenly lifted his foot and kicked the Engineer with all of his might, forcing him backward with a harsh thud as his back hit the wall, "- you madman!" Dusting off his suit, the Spy quickly continued his dialogue with a couple steps taken backwards. "How dare you accuse me of something I have no part in! If anything, you're the one acting odd with that knife in your back pocket."
"Me?!" Exclaimed the Engineer, in utter disbelief from the Spy's apparent blindness, recovering as he suddenly took up his wrench and physically having to hold himself back from throwing it against his ally, "You need to get your eyes checked, 'cause if you don't see what I'm seeing, you're delusional!" Yelling out his protests, he hadn't even caught onto the fact that Spy's expression reeled back from his initial hostility, now showing something different, one of understanding - but instead of being able to talk, the Spy would've been cut off the second he opened his mouth to speak. "No! I am not putting up with this. Y'know what? I don't need your help, either. If I'm the only sane person in this freakshow, then so be it!"
With that, the Engineer dashed off in a fit of rage. All he needed was time to think, and he would not stop in his rush despite hearing the Spy's echoing pleas for him to wait. In a mad dash, he ran all the way through his team's side of Teufort, past a few enemies and with seemingly limitless stamina, carried himself all the way back to the sewers.
Splashing filled the air as the Engineer sprinted through the sewers, the sounds of battle fading the further down he went down the tunnel. Nobody usually went down into the sewers without a purpose, so as long as he hid down there - he would have time to take a step away from the chaos and just think for once in this new life. Once he reached the corner section of his team's side of the sewers, he quickly placed his sentry down to reinforce the position before he moved closer to the closest wall, letting out a deep, aggravated sigh as he collapsed down to a sitting position.
Despite having been hurt earlier, the wind knocked out of him after having his back thrown against a wall by the Spy's freeing kick, even running for almost a minute straight, he felt no sign of wear in his body. No exhaustion, no shortage of breath. In fact, now that he had been thinking about it, his breaths were uniform, coming and going without his input - even if he tried to hold his breath, he would find himself unable to break the constant, mechanical back and forth that his lungs were keeping him locked in.
What was happening? He stressed, burying his head in his hands once again as he slowly raised his legs, curling his body a small amount, was he running out of time? Was it already too late, and was he about to succumb to the same fate as the rest of his team?
All that was on his mind as he searched for answers was the Spy's words, how supposedly HE was the odd one here. Spy had to be kidding, right? Did he not see how the others were acting? Was that cryptic bastard just lying to his face to play some kind of joke on him? If so, it was certainly beginning to work. Was all of this some kind of coordinated jest from both RED and BLU to specifically get at the Engineer? No, no! That's ridiculous. Sure, both teams have had their share of funny moments during downtime, but nothing to this exten-
... His thoughts were getting off-track, so he reminded himself of his 'goal' by slapping himself in the face to align his thoughts once more.
A horrific thought crossed through the Engineer's mind at that moment, catching on like a moth to a flame; what if the Engineer really, really was the one acting out of the ordinary here? That shouldn't have been possible, though. In his life, he's recalled visiting cities, seeing people, going home. People outside of this base seemed lively and arguably, 'human', not a single hint of stiffness or repetition as to how they operated. And with the facts in front of him, there was only one conclusion to make.
His teammates, himself... Androids - just like the ones from the novels he's read. For him to truly be the only one out of the ordinary, everybody had to be some kind of robot. But how could've that been possible? Everyone was made of flesh and blood, and technology wasn't even advanced enough yet to create anything close to what he's currently experiencing. There was no way to create artificial skin and blood to match a real human, and even Gray Mann's robots were shaking, bumbling messes from how they ran off of gasoline. Mercenaries weren't, and were instead fuelled off of food and water.
But how else could he explain how the universe fought him? How picking up that Spy's knife seemed to change his life for the worse? To him, there was only one way to find out. If he truly was a real person and not some kind of machine, he would have to pry the answers out from his own body. Knowing how he would only feel the pain for a few moments, the Engineer cared not for his preservation, only seeking the truth. Taking out the knife from his pocket, he felt his arm go numb again and flare with that harsh, familiar pain once more light up his body like an eternal flame.
And, plunged deep into his arm.
He winced from the piercing pain, though the wound closed around the knife, skin wrapping tightly around the blade as blood suddenly appeared over his overalls without any discernible cause. This was crazy, even for him. He laughed, attempting to force the knife deeper into his skin by pulling on the handle and forcing it down. He knew it. All of this had finally driven him over the wall, having reached a state of madness where he was genuinely trying to rip the very soul out of his body, trying to reach inside himself and pull free the artificial skeleton of whatever lay below. Maybe, maybe he had been 'crazy'. All he wanted was answers, something to answer his cry.
As the knife sank deeper, he felt no pain but had an odd sense of vertigo, that secondary voice he heard reply to him earlier coming back and speaking once again, slightly clearer, but everything he heard? Words, hundreds of them, jumbled and overlapping, all spoken at a pace that made it impossible to gather what exactly was being said. Whatever it was saying, the voice was full of nothing but concern.
Suddenly, the knife stopped at something solid, presumably being whatever made up his 'skeleton'. He wriggled the knife, still sharply pressing so that he could attempt to 'hear' the material of whatever he was made of, his wound emitting a sound of scratching marble. Such an unnatural sound, he thought, and he laughed once more at the sign of a possible answer, knowing that truth was just around the corner. With little hesitation, all form of concious and natural instincts preventing him now shunned away by a pursuit of knowledge, he sought to free his true form out from his body.
With harsh ripping and cracking, Engineer dragged the knife up through the entire length of his forearm, splitting its flesh into two, dropping the knife and grasping the split with his hand, forcefully ripping and unwinding the very flesh from his arm before it could ever hope to fuse itself back together, dropping the mass down to the floor and witnessing how it 'made' a new arm limp on the ground, while his actual arm still lacked flesh, forcing him to look on in horror as he would finally uncover the reality to his situation.
Despite no flesh being where his arm would've been, he saw actual human bones floating in the air, still perfectly replicating the motions of an arm as he moved it despite having no real connection to any of the bones. That concerned voice came back to him, now clear in his mind as he began to finally understand some of what was being said, and one thing stuck out like a sore thumb.
"Render warning: Engineer_ contains invalid (corrupted) data, attempting to rebuild..."
Debugging logs? He thought to himself as his attention remained affixed to that skeletal, detached arm of his. Warnings and errors only happened inside of...
He began to hyperventilate, eyes shaking as the realization finally dawned on him. No, that was impossible! All of this, everything happening, impossible! His mind raced, trying to think of anything, everything to try and validate his own existence as a real, living human person.
First, his name... Nothing? He couldn't remember it, nor did he remember the faces of his parents, friends outside of Mann. Co, everyone ever referred to him as the 'Engineer', nothing more. What about his birthday, the most important time of his year? But... Nothing, he couldn't even remember any notable events that happened this year.
"Come on, there's gotta be something!" He yelled frantically as he stood back up, pacing back and fourth as he chewed nervously on the skin of his other arm's finger, looking back on his memories, more recent ones such as times from Teufort where things weren't whatever 'this' was, where he would laugh and have fun with his fellow mercenaries, place bets and even challenge each other. However, he would find that his memories had all been altered, not as lively as he remembered them being - all of his mercenary friends, including himself, being stiff and robotic.
Tearing up inside, he was overwhelmed by the fact that all he even remembered was Teufort, and only the battles at that. Downtime? Everything that could've happened outside of mindless fighting? Gone. Every single day of his life that he could remember, he was simply fighting, and nothing more. He knew that there was more to his life, more that he was missing, but it had all just been taken from him! He began nervously clawing at himself, scratching away at his own body with force and intent that multiplied every moment.
Again, his skeletal arm entered his vision, and he noticed how that skeletal look was now replaced by a frame of pure, white wires that ignored all lighting, mapping out and matching what his arm should have looked like, yet he couldn't care less for it anymore. He didn't care about the complexities of this world, and he just wanted out of it. He wanted it to end, desperately so. As he clawed away at his own skin, the force he was putting into it would cause his nails to scrape away and turn his overalls and skin slowly into mince, falling off of him in clumps.
"Engineer, wait!" Yelled BLU's Spy as he came running down the stairs, having struggled to find the Engineer, and at a moment he himself deemed too late, "I'm sorry," He admitted, voice sinking with regret, "don't do this, if you continue, you'll-" However, Spy's pleas fell on deaf ears, as it was already too late. Stopping dead in his tracks, he tensed, eyes shaken at the scene before him.
That wireframe arm of his suddenly desynchronized from the Engineer's body, his fleshy shell distorting as though something was moving inside of it, desperate to break free from within while his now hollow, expressionless 'corpse' still kept scratching away at itself on a self-destructive purge. The Spy winced, a gasp escaping him at the sound of sudden cracking and harsh ripping as the Engineer's head suddenly seperated from the base of his neck, revealing more wireframe imitations of the Engineer underneath as it began to emerge out from his body, using the new hole at the top of the corpse to crawl out from - the arms retracting into its 'shell' as would a turtle, before blooming out from the top like a flower of death.
That wireframe engineer looked down at its shell mid-emersion, and let out a deafening screech before disappearing altogether, leaving only the corpse behind and plunging the Spy back into deafening silence following the corpse's collapse from its idle stand. Feeling sick to his stomach, the Spy slowly approached the corpse, resisting the urge to hurl after what he had witnessed, and saw a message written in chalk right next to where everything had just transpired, written in the Engineer's final moments.
BLU_ENGINEER left the server (Client Disconnect).