CHAPTER 17

Spending the rest of my day in solitude in my dormitory turns out not to be the best thing for me in this current situation, so I cast the Disillusionment Charm over myself, as well as the Silencing Charm, and exit the Slytherin Dungeon. I've just made it to the top of the stairs when Snape's voice calls up to me, "Where are you going, Rodgers? Not off to break our deal, are you?"

How does he see me? I glance over my shoulder to see Snape standing at the bottom of the stairs with his wand drawn but not aimed. I keep walking, ignoring the footsteps following me up the stairs. "Where could you possibly need to go under the Disillusionment Charm?" I refuse to say a word to him. "You didn't take a right there. Is it not Professor McGonagall for whom you are currently searching?"

He follows me through every corridor, taking every turn that I take, and I don't know how he can see me. "Ah, the entrance hall," he says, his voice less than amused, "how odd. Just where do you plan on going?" The doors to the castle are within reach, but I fear he might attack if he sees me attempting to exit. "Surely if you were just going to the grounds, you would not have seen fit to disillusion yourself, would you? Are you running again, Rodgers? Must I take your wand from you once more? What would your dear mum say about you trying to escape again? Surely you remember what happened last time?"

I reach for the door. "I don't think that's wise, Rodgers." The door does not budge. "Not until you tell me where you're off to, at least. No student is allowed to leave the grounds. Why don't you remove the charm and speak?"

"Severus?" I turn around and see McGonagall walking toward Snape, watching him carefully.

Snape seems caught off guard for only a second. "Professor McGonagall," he greets her. His eyes land on me again. "It seems the two people you had been trying to avoid are the very ones who have you cornered, Rodgers. Now why don't you answer my question?"

"Severus—"

"I'm not speaking to the air, I assure you. Miss Rodgers stands right there, disillusioned, trying to escape Hogwarts."

McGonagall's eyes flitter around my general my direction, but it seems that she cannot see me because she still looks just as confused now as she was a moment ago. "Dammit, Professor, how can you see me?"

"Rodgers?"

Snape says, "It's not you I see, but your wand." McGonagall's eyes widen, but I still can't see the wand.

"I—"

The opening of the entrance hall doors distracts me. This is my chance. Filch comes to a complete standstill when he sees McGonagall and Snape, and I take this opportunity to dodge around him and sprint from the castle. I do not remove the Disillusionment Charm from myself. A few glances over my shoulder confirm that no one is following me, but I still keep the charm on until safely in Hogsmeade, panting and struggling for breath. A few passersby give me odd looks, but I don't care. Let them judge.

After catching my breath, I make my way to the Three Broomsticks, which is not currently very busy. Zoe is working behind the counter, and when she sees me, her face breaks into a wide smile. "Marcus!" she exclaims as I approach. "I've been so worried about you!"

"I was put on lockdown. I only just got my wand back."

"Are you still with . . . the professor?"

"I'm in Hogwarts now, actually."

"I will need a full explanation for that in half an hour when my shift ends."

"Then I will meet you back here in half an hour. There's something I need to do." Then I leave the Three Broomsticks and Apparate.

Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes is just as busy as usual, and I work my way through the crowd to find Fred. After searching both floors of the joke shop and finding no Fred, I return to the register where Verity stands watching the customers. "Hi," I greet her.

"You haven't been here in a while," she comments.

"Yeah, I've been busy. Is either Fred or George around?"

She shakes her head. "They left for dinner with their family about thirty minutes ago."

"Thanks." I leave the shop and Apparate once more. The Burrow looks just as inviting as ever, and I waste no time rushing to the door and knocking. The noise inside quiets down for a second, and I knock again at which point the house goes completely silent. I knock once more.

Then comes a quiet "Who's there?" through the door.

"Charlotte," I answer.

Another short silence before, "What did your parents name you?"

"Aurelia."

The door opens, and Mrs. Weasley smiles apologetically. "We're sorry, dear, but you can never be too safe with the Death Eaters."

"No, no, I understand."

"Come in. It's good to see you."

Arms are around me before I have a chance to say anything. "You're alive!" Fred rejoices, slightly lifting me into the air. "How did you manage to get away?"

"Bellatrix took me out of the cellar for dinner," I lie. "I asked for just a few hours of sleeping on one of the beds in the guest room to get away from her and—"

"You've not had a bed?" Mrs. Weasley asks, appalled.

"Not in the cellar."

Mrs. Weasley now seems furious. "We'll find you a place to stay, you will not be going back there."

"I don't have much time before she realizes I've taken my wand from her. You'll all be in danger if I stay long, and I won't do that to you. I just wanted to see Fred while I had a chance. Let him know I'm alive and well."

Fred threads his fingers through mine. "They took your wand from you?"

"Yeah. Draco said he'd buy me some time if he could, but—"

"You're trusting Malfoy now?" Harry asks as he, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny enter the room.

"Well, yeah, he's the only person in the manor who has offered to help me at all."

Harry watches me suspiciously. "Is he a Death Eater now like his father?"

"Harry!" Mrs. Weasley scolds him.

I shake my head. "I don't know what he is or isn't. I just know that he's been kind."

"You've been living with them since June but don't know what they've been doing?"

"Harry!" Hermione tries this time.

"I've been living in the cellar, you little prick!" I hiss at him, not sure why my heart rate has spiked, why heat courses through me at his question considering this is all a lie anyway. "Why don't we lock you in there and see how well you manage to spy on anyone!" Why am I so angry with him?

Bill and Fleur slowly stand and exit toward the kitchen, taking George with them. Something seems to occur to Mr. Weasley, and he leaves the room as well. Harry and I glare at one another. I can be trusted, apparently, even though my mother is Bellatrix Lestrange and killed Sirius Black, but it is too hard to trust me when I receive kindness from someone. Even if said kindness is all a lie.

"But you weren't to begin with, were you?" he argues. "You must have heard something. You must know what Malfoy has been doing."

"Are you serious?"

"Both of you—"

"I saw Malfoy in Knockturn Alley! He's up to something for Voldemort, isn't he?"

"Harry, how the hell am I—"

"Are you one of them now too? Voldemort wants you and Malfoy to be Death Eaters just like the rest of your family, doesn't he? You and Malfoy—"

"You think I'd willingly be one of them? After everything they've—" I stop abruptly and try to take even breaths though my chest heaves with fury. "They tortured and killed my mother in front of me—"

"Bellatrix isn't dead!" Harry shouts.

"The woman who raised me was tortured and killed in front of me!" Fred places his hand on my shoulder and gently tries to direct me away, but I stand firm, trembling with fury. "They've tortured me! They've taken everything from me! Voldemort—Voldemort plans—the things they've done to me—what they're going to do—and you think I'd ever join them willingly?"

"Harry," Mrs. Weasley tries.

"I don't know, would you?" he retorts.

"Oh, fuck you—"

"That's enough!" Mrs. Weasley shouts. Harry looks over at her, and in that second, Fred steps around me to block my view of Harry as Mrs. Weasley ushers the Golden Trio and Ginny out of the room. When she returns, still very obviously frustrated and her face still red with anger, she says, "Have you eaten, Charlotte?"

"I'm not hungry, and I don't have enough time," I reply shortly, still trying to wrestle down my rage. "Bellatrix will torture me again if she finds out that I left."

"I'll walk you out," Fred offers.

I stop walking as soon as Fred closes the door behind us and try to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. Why did Harry upset me so much just then? Only after I open my eyes again does Fred take my hand and lead me farther from the door. "What was that about?" I ask. "Why does Harry suddenly think—why—I don't understand what I've done wrong."

Fred sighs. "You haven't done anything wrong, Charlotte. They had a run-in with Malfoy and his mother a couple of weeks ago. They were in Diagon Alley shopping for their Hogwarts stuff. Harry saw Malfoy go into Borgin and Burkes, swears Malfoy is working for You-Know-Who."

"Draco was where?" As Borgin and Burkes is a shop full of Dark Artifacts, I probably don't want to know why Draco would have been in there, but a good guess would be that he went in there for reasons concerning his assignment.

"You didn't know?"

"Of course not. The Malfoys don't tell me their plans. And Voldemort definitely doesn't."

"Well, Harry's convinced Malfoy's a Death Eater now." Surely not. Snape would have told me, wouldn't he? Or would he have? I don't even really know the man. "But I don't want to spend our time together talking about Malfoy," Fred says with a smile.

I smile back at him and wrap my arms around him in a tight embrace. "Neither do I." Leaving is the very last thing I want to do, but Snape might start searching for me. He knows me well enough to suspect that I would have come here to see Fred, and since he's been willing to use Polyjuice Potion to hunt me down once before, he would undoubtedly do that again without any qualms. To postpone whatever punishment he sees fit, I must leave. "I have to go."

"I know," he breathes. "I just wish you didn't have to."

"When I get to Hogwarts, I'll owl you."

"Will I see you at the station?"

I shake my head. "Voldemort doesn't want me on the train. Narcissa will escort me to Hogsmeade and leave me at the station there."

"Give 'em hell if they try to hurt you."

"Oh, I will," I answer with a wink.

Fred presses a chaste kiss to my lips once more before we reluctantly release each other and I Apparate. I waste no time rushing to the Three Broomsticks where Zoe stands just outside the door. "Evening, Marcus," she greets me.

"Evening. Walk with me."

The two of us turn our backs on the inn and head toward her apartment. "So, you're at Hogwarts now then?"

"Yeah, which I guess I'm relatively happy about because I wasn't sent to Malfoy Manor. It could be worse."

"How'd Snape get that approved? Seems like it would raise some questions."

"I . . ." Hmmm. She has a good point. "I guess that's something I'll need to ask him. I fear when I get back inside the castle, I won't be allowed to leave again. I ran off without his permission."

She laughs quietly. "Proud of you, Marcus. Show the man who's boss."

"You say that now, but I sort of did this too much over the holiday. They locked me away at one point because I kept running. It probably wasn't the best idea to do it again."

She glances at me. "So, why'd you do it?"

"I don't know," I confess. "I just . . . I don't know. Wanted to get away from them."

"Well, either way, I'm glad you came."

"Yeah, I am too." Then I suddenly blurt out, "My mother took me to my grave."

Zoe grabs my arm and stops us, her face full of concern. "Merlin, Charlotte, you should have led with that! What happened?"

I glance around the village. "Let's keep walking." Only after we continue moving do I say, "She told me that she couldn't lose me twice and that Hogwarts isn't safe this year. She said that someone's going to die."

"But she didn't say who?"

"No, and my biggest fear . . . my biggest fear is that it'll be Draco doing the killing."

She purses her lips. "We'll finish this conversation once we get inside the flat so I can put up spells. I don't trust talking about this in the open."

I nod. "That's probably for the best."

"So, about your grave."

"I was almost eighteen months old when they thought I died. My second name is Celaeno."

"Celaeno?"

"It's a star, apparently. The Black family tradition is to name your child after a star. I don't know why, but it's a thing."

"Except your parents broke that and named you for Marcus Aurelius."

"Yes. And about that, there was a quote on the stone. 'Death is a cessation from the impression of the senses, the tyranny of the passions, the errors of the mind, and the servitude of the body.' Apparently, it's one of—"

"Marcus Aurelius' quotes." Her voice is sad.

"Yeah. Does it mean something to you?"

We enter her building. "Yeah," she whispers. It's not until we've made it up the stairs and to her apartment door that she adds, "It's one of his passages that I dwelt on right after my parents. . . ." She drifts off as we enter her apartment. Then she waves her wand, presumably putting up protections to keep our conversation quiet. "Don't mind the mess, I'm still in the process of unpacking everything." She leads me to the box-filled living area and sits down with me on the sofa. "Now, about this Draco thing."

"Snape's been teaching me Occlumency. And I used Protego against him once. I feel like he showed me a memory, Zoe, a memory of Narcissa on her knees before him, begging him to help Draco with what the Dark Lord has planned for him this year. Snape took the Unbreakable Vow. And now . . . Bellatrix said someone was to die at Hogwarts. I'm afraid Draco is being forced to kill someone."

She watches me carefully for a moment. "Snape took the Unbreakable Vow to help Malfoy? Do you realize what this means, Charlotte?"

"He's putting himself in danger to help my cousin."

"He's loyal to You-Know-Who. Why else would he agree to help complete You-Know-Who's plans?"

"But he's teaching me Occlumency to fight against Voldemort. He wouldn't do that if he were loyal to him."

She considers this for a moment. "All right, say he is against You-Know-Who, are you sure you can trust him?"

"He's against Voldemort and is helping me learn to resist Voldemort. Of course I trust him."

"But can you be absolutely certain that he's against You-Know-Who?" She waits for a second before breaking my silence with, "The answer is that you can't. He's an accomplished Occlumens. If not, you wouldn't be having him teach you."

"So, you're saying I shouldn't trust Snape?"

"I'm saying be careful."

"I mean, maybe he took the Unbreakable Vow so he wouldn't raise questions about his allegiances. How would it look if a Death Eater refused to help the Dark Lord's plans be fulfilled?"

"You don't have to convince me, Marcus. You've spent the last two months living with him—for the most part, at least—so if anyone should know if he can be trusted, it's you."

"I believe he can be trusted." I look away from her. But can Snape really be trusted? I lived with him for two months and hardly know anything about him.

She waves her wand at the door again. "Would you like some tea before you're forced to return to the castle?"

"That'd be perfect, but I don't think I have enough time. I'm afraid Snape might come searching for me."

"Do you really think he'd do that? That he'd even know where to look?"

I walk over to the kitchen area where she's busy putting the purple kettle on the stove and searching through her teas until she finds the one she wants. "Do you really think he wouldn't?"

"Well . . . you might be right, unfortunately." That doesn't stop me from waiting for tea anyway.

We fall into a comfortable silence while the water boils. As the water heats up, a swirling white pattern forms on the teapot. "I charmed it to do that when it's ready," she answers my unasked question.

"So have you drawn or painted anything else?" I ask as she pours me a cup of tea and sets it down in front of me.

Zoe flinches at my question and clears her throat. "I mean, um, yeah, of course."

I stay long enough to finish my tea before leaving, making sure not to ask about her paintings anymore. I don't let myself get distracted while walking up to the castle because wasting more time feels very dangerous right now. But even that is not enough to help me, for when I open the doors to the entrance hall, there stands Snape, leaning against the stone wall, watching the doors, his ankles crossed. "For a while there, I believed you learned your lesson about running off," he says coolly. Heat rises up my neck.

"What?" I laugh. "Do you expect to send me back to the manor to rot in the cellar until term begins? How suspicious would that be, Professor?"

"Go back to the dungeon, Charlotte."

Though unsure why, I obey without resistance, following behind him. "Speaking of suspicions—"

"I don't believe we were."

"Well, I was. So, speaking of suspicions, how did you get it approved for me to come to Hogwarts early?" He remains silent as we descend into the dungeons. "I mean, it is rather dangerous, me being here, isn't it? Because how would you get it approved for me to come early unless you had a good standing with the Dark Lord, who has kept me locked away in Malfoy Manor until now? I mean, I just think it's important that I know what the cover story is, don't you?"

Snape glances at me as we reach his office door. "Narcissa Malfoy simply could not tolerate having you around her any longer—something about your constant disrespect of her husband—and she and Professor Dumbledore worked it out so that you might arrive early." Though tempted to tell him that she would never kick me out based on her attitude toward me now, I decide to let it go. No one inside the castle except for maybe Snape and Draco knows that Narcissa cares about me, so no one can disprove this claim anyway. He opens the door to his office, and I follow him inside. "How was I to know that you would be at the school prior to the rest of the students? That has nothing to do with me."

Why did I follow him in here? "And Voldemort—"

"Do not use the Dark Lord's name."

"Right, sorry. And the Dark Lord was okay with just setting me free?"

Snape sits down behind his desk. "Do you believe you're free?"

"Well," I say, taking the seat across from him, "I did leave the grounds for a bit today. Is that not freedom compared to what I've been living in for the past few weeks?"

"You won't be leaving Hogwarts again anytime soon," he says nonchalantly, confidently, turning his attention to something on his desk.

"And just how are you planning to stop me?"

A few moments of his silently writing on a piece of parchment confirms my suspicions that he won't be answering my question, so I ask another, "How did you know I left the common room? And how could you see my wand? Did you charm my wand? Is the Disillusionment Charm just never going to work for me again?"

Finally, Snape looks up at me. "I cast a charm on the entrance of the common room."

"What charm?"

He watches me indifferently, unwilling to tell me.

"Did you create it?"

Snape goes back to writing once more.

"Could you teach it to me?"

He ignores this question as well.

"So will you always be able to see my wand now?"

"Only when you pass through the charm." He doesn't even give me the courtesy of looking up at me when he says this.

"So, when will you remove the charm?"

"When the other students arrive."

I huff loudly. "So basically, when I want to get away from Hogwarts, I have to run quickly."

Snape glances at me. "I have not yet confined you to the castle, but if you keep pushing your luck, I will have no choice. The grounds will be off limits, and you will be incapable of leaving the castle at all. Your only contact with the outside will be the owls, and that's only if I'm feeling generous and allow you to visit the Owlery. You said last year that you considered yourself a prisoner here at Hogwarts. Do you want to find out what that would truly feel like?" I open my mouth, but no words come out as I consider the threat—one he can undoubtedly make a reality. "Yes, I thought you'd choose to behave."

I scowl at him. "And just how do you plan on doing that? Is that even possible?"

Snape's hand twitches, and he stops writing. "I charmed the Slytherin Dungeon so I would know when you left. Are you questioning whether I would be able to confine you to the castle?"

"But why would you do that? I'm not a real student, the school year hasn't even started, and I really shouldn't even be here right now. Why would you lock me in here?"

"Your mother found you within minutes of you leaving my presence. What's to stop her from doing that again?"

"Who says I don't want her to?"

"Charlotte, your mother is a dangerous woman—"

"And you're not? Dangerous, I mean."

"Bellatrix Lestrange is not someone you want to be around anymore than necessary, and—"

"She is my mother."

"Which is why it is even more dangerous for you to be around her," he counters. "And since when does it matter to you that she's your mother? I remember very specifically that you didn't want any sort of connection with her when you first discovered who she is. You don't need to be around her."

"You're afraid I'll become like her, aren't you?" I scoff. "Do you—"

"You won't become like her, but she will do her best to influence you."

"And you fear I'll turn toward the Dark Lord and do my best to serve him, and all of our lessons will be for naught, and you'll be discovered as the defected Death Eater that you are? I lived in your house for two months and yet you honestly believe I would serve Voldemort—yes, Snape, Voldemort—willingly?"

His jaw clenches. "Your mother can be very manipulative."

"And you can't be?"

The pride on his face only makes me angrier. "I am trying to help you escape your duty, regardless of whether my tactics inconvenience you."

I stand to my feet and walk toward the door, muttering, "You're insufferable." I can almost hear his chuckle as I close the office door and head toward the common room.