Disclaimer: All rights go to Shannon Messenger
Legally I think I have to do this: Everything in italics is from Hamilton.
HAMILTON. If you don't know who/what this is, first go look at a ten dollar bill. Then buy broadway tickets to go see the play. Then watch it on Disney. Then listen to the soundtrack over and over until you have it memorized. Thanks!
Me: What'd I miss?
Dex: Nothing. You just froze in place for like 5 minutes.
Linh: *stands up* *sees me* *pretends to faint*
Me: Rise up! *levitates her off the ground*
Sophie: What're you making us do now?
Me: They're asking me to lead. I'm doing the best I can.
Elves: NO WE DIDN'T! NO YOU'RE NOT!
Sophie: Waaaiiit… Are you quoting Hamilton?
Me: Yes.
Keefe: Man, this person's non-stop.
Fitz: Nooo, Keefe, you too?
Keefe: No, just to annoy you.
Sophie: How do elves also know what Hamilton is?
Keefe: The awesomeness of Hamilton is cross-species.
Me: *snaps fingers* *everyone is transported to my house in …
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
A place!*
Biana (who really should have had a line before now): Where are we? And why is it so… dull? Is this a prison?
Sophie: No, we're in the forbidden cities.
All Elves but Sophie: WHAT?
Me: I'm not sorry. *shows piece of paper with councilor's signatures on it "These elves may visit the Forbidden Cities"*
Keefe: Ok, so I'm gonna assume you forged that but I don't really care. LET'S HAVE FUN IN HUMANLAND!
Me: *shakes head* *points at paused Hamilton play*
Keefe: *disappointed* Aw not even a little mayhem?
Me: No. (I think it's a safe bet that's in the musical but I can't currently think of a situation.)
Everyone and me: *sits down to watch*
TWO HOURS LATER
Elves: *sobbing*
Me: *rocking in a corner, deaf to the world, humming "It's Quiet Uptown"*
Fitz: *realizes he can leave now*
Other elves: *also leave*
Me: *hums happiest song I can think of* *recovers* *snaps elves back*
Me: One more thing.
Biana: You're seriously going to make us react? I thought crying so hard I passed out from lack of oxygen was enough.
Me: Go home.
Biana: *leaps away*
Fitz: I thought it was sad how everyone got mad at Burr.
Elves: *incredulous look*
Fitz: What? He felt genuine remorse, and he was only motivated by the fact that if Hamilton killed him, his daughter would be an orphan. He didn't want her to live the life he did. Hamilton raised his gun too late anyway, and before that acted like he was actually going to shoot. As Burr says, "They won't teach you this in your classes, but look it up, Hamilton was wearing his glasses. Why? If not to take deadly aim!"
Sophie: Ok fine, but I thought the real saddest moment was "It's Quiet Uptown".
Rest of elves: Yeah, can we go now?
Me: Pride is not the word I'm looking for. But you can go home.
Thanks for reading! And please review!