Now stop me if you've heard this one before….
On the planet, carion 7, the squid-like citizens cheered in delight as the hero fought off the supervillains threatening their city.
Goody two shoes becomes some kind of protector for the world, big bad comes along and tries to invade and take over/ destroy the world.
One by one, the great hero, ink shooter, took down the villains and villainous creations.
Now that's what you're probably used to all your life, regardless of how those idiots over at those big studios portray it. There's just one tiny little problem with this one….
The people cheered as Ink shooter bowed like a kid in the theater. "Thank you my fellow squidoids! Though it wasn't that hard!" He boasted, unaware of the upcoming ship fading into view. "You and your families will forever remain untouched under my protection! For nothing on this PLANET will EVER—" Just as he was about to finish, he was immediately shot down by a laser beam, everyone looked up to see the warship, it was large with The bow of the ship pointed and sharp like the bow of a boat. There were two sharp prongs protruding from both sides at the bottom of the bow at an angle and possessed two red view ports that resembled horizontal lines of a furnace hatch on the sides of the bow. The ship was covered in numerous wings and vanes, and several cannons on the sides, and the back was like a giant flight deck.
From the ship A purple beam descended and slammed onto the planet's surface. With several robots emerging from it, they had gray metal chest plates with metallic symbols with Hs in the center on their chests. They had no mouths and three eyes on each side of their face, their hands were a dark purple and black and red arms and legs with gray boots. The robots stormed the planet with plasma blasters as more ships flew in and blasted everything, leaving the planet's citizens running in terror. "Stop right there you mechanical fiends!" Ink shooter ordered as the robots stopped and turned. "This planet is my home, you robotic invaders!" Suddenly another beam blasted down as another six-eyed robot but with large shoulder pads and vest like armor with the h located on the center. "Not anymore!" The robot said with an electronic voice. "This planet is now under the control of the Hatetrix empire and its ruler: SCARRRR THEEEE CONQUERERRRRRR!"
From above the warship something boomed in the sky and flew around it before slamming into the ground…
Yeah, I'm the bad guy….
The figure revealed himself to be Scar the conqueror. He was large with skinny black and red arms and legs with a silver plate with the h symbol at the center of it and a green head with a couple of fins emerging from the back and red piercing eyes. "Greetings denizens of carion 7! This planet is now part of the Hatetrix empire!" He announced, his voice sounding similar to kaos from the skylanders games but a bit deeper. "Your villainous master welcomes you!"
"Scar the conqueror!" Ink shooter shouted, catching the warlord's attention. "I've heard stories about you! You are the most vile, revolting, despicable, hateful warlord to ever grace the universe with your presence!" "Oh how thoughtful of you! I always do what I can to maintain it!" Scar giggled. "Now can you please hold on to whatever inane speech you have planned? I'm in the middle of a thing here!" Scar then turned back to the citizens. "At this time we wish to terraform your planet to accommodate our agenda, but we will allow certain landmarks and other places of great significant importance to remain. Do you have any objections?" "I have one!" Ink shooter announced before charging towards him. "Here it comes…." Scar sighed before turning, "Get off my planet!" The hero then zoomed toward the warlord, to which he sidestepped and made the hero slam into one of his drones and the wall. The hero immediately raised upwards and zoomed again. "I'm ok!" The drone groaned.
The two clashed between each other with Ink shooter firing ink from his tentacles while Scar was firing with plasma beams from his hands and occasionally slashing with his black clawed hands and slashed ink shooter's outfit. After a brief exchange of punches and blasts, the two were exhausted. "Is that… the best… you can do…?" Ink shooter said out of breath. "I… don't… think so…." Scar said exasperated. "Look… above you…." Ink shooter started to realize what was going on but it was too late as he was vaporized on the spot by one of the warship's weapons. "Ha! Hahahahah! Gets 'em every time!" Scar laughed at his victory before jettisoning back to his warship along with the large shouldered drone following behind.
Inside the warship, Scar stepped inside and cheered around as the large shouldered drone followed him. "Excellent strategy lord scar!" The drone complimented. "Oh it was nothing! Now I'm headed to the bridge, inform me of the status of the terraforming process in the hour!" Scar ordered as the drone rushed away.
That was drone one, one of my generals, pretty unoriginal name I know, but I name all my drones with a serial number because I'm too lazy to name them all.
But if you're wondering what I'm all about, let me tell you: I'm Scar the conqueror! Lord of the Hatetrix empire, ruler of worlds, bringer of despair yada yada yada. You know your classic, or stereotypical, whichever you prefer, intergalactic supervillain.
After a few minutes, Scar arrived at the bridge where multiple drones were operating various parts of the ship, including drones sitting at stations with many monitors, and some adjusting the systems. Scar pressed a button on one of his arms that commanded his throne to deploy, where it had multiple large rods embedded into the back and purple highlights in it, and immediately sat down and had it slide forward to the huge screen in front of the bridge.
While most villains are all about conquering one planet or galaxy, I however am one of them that chooses to go higher, my goal is to rule the entire UNIVERSE!
The screen then flashed to life to show some kind of leaderboard with Scar at the top, albeit a mugshot of him. "Ugh they just can never get my face right…." Scar complained, suddenly the door opened again as something flew in on a rocket and hit the screen. "OHHH MAKE WAY FOR DRILLER!"
Unfortunately I have more than one joker in my deck….
"Dang it, Driller!" Scar growled, as the robot fell down and got back on his feet, he was bulky with fins emerging from his back and his waist had small drills on both sides and drill shoulder guards and one mounted one of his wrists. His face had a large visor and no mouth and a small rhinoceros like horn. "Sorry sir, I accidentally hit the wrong button on one of our ion rockets." He said, in his bullish voice.
That is general Driller, he happens to be drone one's bestie and those two are often getting into trouble, I'm 98% sure they're both damaged with their programming….
"Ugh, I JUST Got that screen cleaned!" Scar groaned, "How many times do I have to tell you driller? If you're entering a highly volatile room DON'T. TOUCH. ANYTHING!" "Sorry sir I should probably get as far away from you for now!" Driller immediately ran away. "A wise decision…." Scar groaned, before laying back in his throne , "So driller did something stupid again, why am not surprised…." Scar turned to his side to see a robot with a two sided face, one red the other black, that went down to his chest, where the a glowing orb resides, one of his hands was normal with the h residing on the upper arm and an ice blaster for a hand, while his other was red with black armor and a white hand and his boots were black and his legs were red with blue highlights. "It's times like these that I wonder why you keep that liquid headed clutz on the ship, which just so happens to be every other time he does something stupid." The robot groaned in a gruff voice.
This is my second in command, splitbomber, while he is a good second in command, he does have a tendency to complain about every little thing. I think it's a programming bug in his software.
The robot, splitbomber, took a sip of motor oil from a coffee mug. "So what clice method of fighting some melodramatic hero this time? Trapping them in a mine, using a laser cannon? Ramming a building on their head?" He asked. "He used the 'tire em out and finish them off with a giant laser cannon!'" Driller hallowed from the next room over. "Wow, both cliche and lazy!" Splitbomber replied. "Well at least someone appreciates my work!" Scar groaned. "You know sir, you can't use the same tricks every time." Splitbomber groaned. "Oh please! I practically invented half of those tricks! What makes you think they are good to get the drop on me?" "I'm just saying sometimes you need to be creative!" "I think I'm fine with using the old tricks thank you very much…."
Splitbomber simply signed in frustration before drone one entered the room. "Sir, the terraforming of carion 7 is going smoothly but some of the residents are upset about the death of their hero!" He reported. "Of course that happens." Scar groaned. "Just give them the assurance speech and they'll calm down." "Yes sir." Drone one then left the scene. "Now then what's next for us? I'm on a roll today!" Scar asked. Splitbomber sighed. "Let me see…." He then pulled out a small tablet and inspected it. "Let's see… conquered, destroyed, accidentally got sucked into a black hole… huh, that's interesting, apparently one of our asteroid mines has suddenly stopped production and is wanting to speak with you personally!" Scar took notice. "Well good enough for me! Set a course for that signal!" "You heard the boss! Set a course for that signal!"
Soon the ship began to move once more and travel across the galaxy, passing the various planets Scar has conquered in tow. After a while, the ship reached its destination, an asteroid belt. Specifically one that was an asteroid that had a large mechanical base attached to it. It landed in the drop zone as Scar, Splitbomber, drone 1 and general driller appeared from the descender beam. "Alright, what's so important you had to drag me out here!" Scar ordered but received no response. "Hellooo! Scar to base! What's going on here!?" Suddenly something was thrown their way, they looked down and saw that it was the remains of a ripped apart drone, scar picked up the drone and inspected it. "I-Is it another tunnel mite, s-sir?" Drone one said terrified. "If so driller's playing the bait this time!" Splitbomber added. "No, if it was a tunnel mite then this mechanical fool would be covered in bite marks, these are blaster marks, made from a TXQ77 pulse beam to be specific." Scar concluded.
"A brilliant observation, Scar!" The four then looked up and saw another ship, this one waslarge and wide in the color of a sickly green, with several fins emerging on both sides of it and with the flight deck in front behind it was a giant dome in the shape of a hornet's nest, from that nest several beings emerged from it and descended onto the asteroid and in front of the bots, the beings appeared to be wasp-like insectoids with metallic wings that were attached to vests around their bodies, their arms were somewhat skinny and had metal gauntlets that extended to their three fingers, their knees were backwards with three clawed feet, their heads wore pilot-like helmets and their antennae were covered with metal bands, and in their hands were mechanical blasters that had green energy charging up. "You're not going anywhere, Hatetrix fools!" "Genisites… great." Scar groaned, whenever there were Genisites there was always….
Suddenly there was something else that emerged from the other ship and descended, it was a large platform, on it was a large throne with two metal sides in the shape of insect legs with webs connecting them, and sitting on that throne was a large Genisite. Most definitely the Genisite leader. He was large and beetle-like with small claws under his arms, which had several spines jutting out of his forearms, one of which had a beetle claw mounted to his wrist, he was drenched in a green and blue robe and had two large horn-like protrusions from his side and a large popped collar emerging from his back, his face had mandibles hiding a row of razor sharp teeth, his eyes were pupiless and glowed green. "Well well well, if it isn't Mr. Skinny ego-bot and his band of robo-misfits." The Genisite leader laughed. "Nice seeing you again…." "Galactor, I almost didn't recognize you with your rear end. Oh wait, that's your face!" Scar insulated.
This gargantuan cockroach is Galactor, leader of the warmongering Genisites, he's always been jealous of me since I one-upped him in the galactic villains board. He constantly tries to claim back his title either by trying to take over my turf or by trying to do stuff more evil than I do, one time he even tried a diss track and posted it on Startube, which is just as embarrassing as you think it is. Frankly I'm surprised that he isn't a fly, because he's as annoying as one!
"Insult me all you like, this time I'll beat you and I'll finally be number one!" Galactor shouted, "And maybe your wife will finally come back to you?" Scar replied smugly, to which Which Galactor gasped. "YOU LEAVE SASHA OUT OF THIS!" He roared, offended. "But that's not why I'm here!" "Then what for exactly?" Scar demanded. "This is the rumigon galaxy." Galactor began, as his minions displayed the aforementioned galaxy on a widescreen. "My scientists have determined that this galaxy has approximately 43 planets." He continued. "Your point?" "I'm challenging you to a conquer-off!" "Oh nooo…." Scar held his head in annoyance. "What's a conquer-off?" Drone one asked before Splitbomber slapped him. "A race to conquer planets you metal-headed moron!" He yelled. "The one who managed to conquer the most planets, wins!" Galactor finished. "Deal…?" Scar thought of this challenge for a bit. "You're on!" He said confidently, the insectoids then flew back up to the ship and raced off.
"Sir, I know you like a challenge but ARE YOU INSANE!?" Splitbomber yelled. "Some of those planets are the most dangerous in the universe!" "So what? I have met worse!" Scar argued. "Yeah but not like this! The last few villains who were involved in conquering them ended up being stains on the floor!" "I have to agree with Splitbomber on this one sir, those planets are home to some of the most vicious creatures in the universe!" Drone one agreed. "Look, we are the most powerful evil empire in the universe, I'm sure we can handle a few big monsters!" Scar replied dismissively. "Now let's not dilly dally! Everyone, back to the ship and set a course for rumigon!"
A few hyper warps later, the empire began their race against their enemies. While the Genisites had a few leads, Scar and his empire were able to catch up thanks to some old tricks Scar used. On one planet he faced a giant worm like monster that managed to strike several drones, but he was able to defeat it by spinning around and making it dizzy before blasting it in the face.
On another he faced hoards of ravenous locusts aliens that were instantly evaporated by the flames of the back of the warship.
On a third one he faced a giant cyclops alien but it didn't last long as the Scar instantly blinded it with his laser hands before blowing its head off. "Boom! We're already near the last planet! All we have to do is conquer it and we'll have this challenge cleared in no time!" Scar said proudly. "And maybe you'll try being creative so you don't get your metal ass handed to you?" Splitbomber informed. "I told you I can handle it! Look, we've practically beaten Galactor to the punch! No need for worry!" Scar replied dismissively. "Challenging me to a conquer-off was the dumbest idea that overgrown bottom feeder ever had!" However, unbeknownst to Scar and his army, a small drone had observed them from afar.
From the drone's camera, the image was being broadcasted to the inside of a circular base that resembled that of the inside of a beehive, where several commanding desks, each occupied by a Genisite soldier. And in the center was Galactor, sitting on his throne with a wicked grin on his face. Soon a blue mantas Genisite dressed in a green robe arrived from behind. "Emperor Galactor! We have acquired the data of Scar's various methods of facing his enemy!" The insectoid reported in a slight raspy voice. "And have developed the perfect countermeasures for them!" The alien warlord turned around in his chair and laughed. "Excellent work Zirnak! We have that metal loser thinking he's got us down but he's too blinded by his own ego to realize what's really going on!" He laughed as he sat up. "Someone put an order for a few pizzas and several bottles of proton booze! That way we can celebrate that idiot's death!" The Genisite soldiers cheered. "I meant for me, you're just the hired help!" They immediately turned to sorrow.
As they approached the last planet, a rocky wasteland with several beasts roaming around it. "Alright boys, let's get this last planet in the bag and we win this little game!" Scar announced. "Uh boss…" "Oh let me guess, you want me to 'do something original'?" Scar groaned in air quotes. "Well that and I was about to say that we have company!" Splitbomber pointed upwards where the Genisite ship descended and a swarm of Genisites and Galactor emerged. "Scar, glad to know you would be here too!" He said smugly. "But it looks like we're neck and neck!" "Meaning one of us has to get off this planet." Scar replied. "So how about you let us have this one and you can be like you always have been… second place!"
Galactor growled in pure rage. "OH THAT TEARS IT!" He screamed. GENISITES! KILL THESE IDIOTS!" The insectoid foot soldiers did as they were told and fired, the bots then ducked under and returned fire. "Do you really have to rile him up EVERY TIME we meet him?!" Splitbomber growled. "It adds to the thrill! And I love doing this!" Scar answered before flying to Galactor's platform and spun it around, causing the Genisite leader to be flung out and land on the ground, "You little cretin! I'll take you on myself!" The alien warlord then changed and tackled him causing the two to fight across the barren mountains. While the rest of the crew battled the rest of the Genisites. "For the love of…."
As the battle continued throughout the mountain arena, Scar and Galactor eventually found themselves on the top of the mountain. "Did you really hijack one of my asteroid mines just so you could get my attention and think you can beat me in your little game?" Scar asked. "Well it mostly worked didn't it?" Galactor argued, to which scar was about to say something but immediately realized that he had a point. "That is true I have to admit, I applaud you for that!" "Well maybe you can applaud me for THIS!" Galactor then fired a ball of energy from his beetle claw. It raced towards his enemy, only for Scar to dodge it. "Ha! Nice try! I could see that a mile away! Now then, how about a super elaborate rock kick!" Scar then spun around and before gracefully kicked the nearest large stone at the insectoid villain, only for him to grab the asteroid and break it in two. "Huh…." Scar said dumbfounded. "Ok… how about a… LASER FLASH!" Scar flashed bright lights from his hand lasers, only to see Galactor wearing protective glasses. "Ok… how about…." Scar then tried numerous tricks to defeat him, but each and every one was easily countered by Galactor. "Ok I think I'm out of tricks…." Scar said, slightly worried before raising his fists. "Fine, we'll do this the old fashioned way!" The villain then charged at his rival only for him to grab Scar, turned him around and shoot him from behind. Scar tried to return fire but was unable to move. "Hey what in!?" "You like? I call it the para-ball! Capable of freezing anything that it hits!" Galactor explained smugly. "Especially rust-headed swindlers like you!" Scar kept struggling to move as his nemesis moved to his insect minions. "We got him! We're done here!" Galactor cheered. "Head back to the ship! We can execute phase two from there!" The minions immediately stopped fighting and flew away and into the ship with their prize in tow.
"LORD SCAR!" Drone one screamed. "After those insects!" Splitbomber ordered before the crew immediately returned to the ship and chased after them. "I told him! I told him that he shouldn't be predictable! But does he listen? Nooo…."
After a while, Scar had awoken and observed his surroundings, he was above the planet but was wrapped around in cables like a cocoon. "Well we enjoy our nap?" Scar turned to see Galactor and his Genisite army sitting in floating stains like they were at a football game. "Glad to see you awake just In time for the main event!" Galactor explained. "I knew that by baiting you with a stupid contest, you'd be too busy using your little tricks to notice my spy bot was getting those tricks on camera, and allowing me to develop the perfect countermeasures against them!" Scar gasped. "That is… surprisingly effective!" "Well it was actually my…" Zirnak tried to explain but was smacked by his emperor. "Thank you thank you, and as a message to anyone who will try and upstage me, we'll be recording your demise for Startube!" Galactor continued. "We're gonna play dubstep while you're burning to death!" Zirnak added.
Scar looked down seeing the molten lava bubbling like a fiery stew, guessing Splitbomber was right, and he was too stubborn to realize it. "Any final words before we smelt ya?" Zirnak asked. "To hell with all of you…." Scar growled. "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll see you there… eventually." Scar then looked up seeing something headed his way at warp speed. "As for the planets you have under your belt, we'll take good care of them after you're gone."
Just as they were lowering their enemy down into the magma pool, their ship was rammed in back by the Hatetrix warship, several hundred drones descended and engaged the Genisites. Soon Scar's minions landed as well near their boss's predicament. "It's about time you idiots arrived! And next time watch where you're using the ship, I just got it waxed!" Scar yelled. "Now get me out of here!" "Not until you admit you were wrong…." Splitbomber said with a smug smile. "Excuse me!?" "You admit that you were wrong about using the same old tricks and I'll let you go!" Splitbomber negotiated. "Are we really doing this!?" "Yes we are, now say it!" "No!" "Say it!" "Never!" "Oh well, have fun burning to death!" Splitbomber turned away as Scar was being lowered closer to the magma. "OK YOU WERE RIGHT AND I WAS WRONG! I WAS WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!" Scar yelled at full volume, making Splitbomber stop. "YOU HAPPY NOW!?" "…Ecstatic…." Splitbomber replied before freezing the magma with his ice blast, and then the cable. The drones then grabbed him and landed him on the ground and shattered the cables like glass. "So what's the plan boss?" Splitbomber asked. "Let's try something original!"
As the Genisites and Hatetrix drones continued their gang war, Scar arrived just in time. "Alright bugs, surrender!" He yelled. "As if!" Galactor yelled back. "Even if you try to defeat me I still know all your moves! You lose!" Scar smiled under his helmet, time to put his new move to the test. "Not all of them… now!"
All of the sudden several drones emerged from all sides and piled on Galactor only for him to spin them away and see his nemesis is no longer there. Before long, Driller emerged from the ground and stabbed into his platform, causing it to malfunction and eject him and sent him flying, right into drone one's plasma blast and sent him flying into the blast of both Splitbomber and Scar finally landing him onto the ground.
"Ugh…." Galactor groaned as he got back up and turned to his mantis minion. "I thought you said that you got all of his moves!" "W-We did sir! Or at least I thought we did!" Zirnak replied weakly. "Well it's the first time I've tried that as well." Scar said before turning to his second in command. "It never hurts to try something new."
Galactor growled before snapping his fingers and summoning his swarm as they grabbed him and carried him back to his ship. "You win this round Scar! But your luck will run out and the universe will be all mine!" He yelled before he returned to his ship and flew away. "Well, now that he's gone!" Scar said as he turned back to the ship. "Why don't we finish what we started?"
A few hours later the planet was terraformed to accommodate the empire's plan. "And since we conquered this last planet that means…" Drone one said excited. "We won!" Driller finished. "YEAH!" "WE DID IT!" "IN YOUR FACE BUGS!" "Alright, settle down! Let's head back to the ship, I'll have a scout ship to send out here later!" Scar ordered.
Later on the drones had a party to celebrate their victory, chugging motor oil down the exhaust ports on their faces. "Well sir, I have to admit, you did great out there!" Splitbomber said before taking his sip. "Thanks, I guess it wouldn't hurt to be original every now and then." Scar replied and took another sip. "Now, what's next on our agenda?" "Well, who knows! It's a big wide universe…." Splitbomber said as he observed the screen, showing a massive map of planets in the universe.
So I have a long way to go to conquer the universe but I know that with some effort and with allies like mine… I'm sure it won't take long….
Meanwhile back on Galactor's ship, the evil emperor returned to his throne, still recovering from his humiliation after scar kicked his butt. "You beat me now scar, but I won't stop until you fall!"