The First Assignment

"I'm really afraid to feel happy because it never lasts." - Unknown

Ash

My aunt lives in a log cabin just outside of Lavender Town, walking distance from the research center, and the furniture is also made of wood. "Is it a fire hazard?" she'd said when I first walked in. "Probably, but it sure is cozy!" And, I agreed. If it weren't for the basic amenities like electricity and indoor plumbing, her house would fit right in on one of those old camping movies.

But, sitting on her couch with my arms crossed, my heart battered, my thoughts a jumbled mess, my eyes glaring down at my knees like it's their fault, I don't feel very cozy.

It's their routine, Korou had told me. After one of their jobs, everyone gets cleaned up and meets up to relax and try to talk things through, to make sense of how they're feeling after everything. It's therapeutic, he'd said. It reminds you that you aren't dealing with this alone.

That's why my friends and I are at my aunt's house right now. Aunt V is still working, so we have the place to ourselves for another hour. It's for the best; she was hesitant enough about having just Gardevoir in here, let alone two more pokemon, one of whom has a pension for physically exploding at random. At least Sarge and Voltorb aren't temporarily living here like me and Gardevoir.

"I just feel a little weird about having a pokemon roaming free in my house," Aunt V had said. I didn't push, and she seemed to grudgingly accept Gardevoir once she realized I wasn't willing to keep him outside or in his pokeball all day anyway.

Actually, Gardevoir is a bit of a mystery to me. When I brought him to the cabin the first time, he didn't have the child-like, wide-eyed awe most wild pokemon get when they first lay eyes on a human "den," with all our "strange and colorful human things," as Pikachu had put it. Gardevoir had gazed around at the decor, of course, but it was more reminiscent of going into a new friend's house and seeing how different theirs is from your own. More curiously, Gardevoir is currently in the kitchen making tea. He was a wild pokemon a few days ago, and he knows how to make tea.

Come to think of it, Gardevoir isn't a pokemon you find in the Kanto Region. Mostly, the Ralts-line can be found in Hoenn, with a few sprinkled in some other parts of the world, but not here in Kanto. That, along with his familiarity with human stuff, makes me wonder if he had a trainer before me.

"You're pretty quiet," Lorette says from her spot next to mine. "I don't blame you. I was a mess the first time." She looks behind us to where Sarge and Voltorb are conversing quietly in the corner of the room. "Voltorb was worse, though."

Korou sighs, leaning back in the armchair. "I'm sure this one was worse for Sarge. This is the first time we've had a fighting-type in such a state. I'm not sure if they were friends, but the fact that she knows Tyrogue can't be helping matters."

I shutter and touch Pikachu's pokeball for the umpteenth time.

The day had started out alright. I was on my first assignment as a Poke-X research field worker. As such, I was given a reddish-brown wristband with what looks like a tiny laser attached to it. Supposedly, it functions in a similar way to a pokeball; press a button, and the pokemon gets sucked in. Only instead of being caught, the infected pokemon we use them on are transferred to the lab for observation and so the scientists can try to figure out how to help them. (Science is so amazing!)

My friends had reiterated how awful Poke-X was in person and that they understood if I needed to step back since it was my first time. I was nervous, of course, but after everything I've seen and done after almost eight years of my pokemon journey, I thought I could handle it.

I was wrong.

There was a small meadow deep in the forest. Flowers of all shapes and sizes and colors bloomed there. It should have been a peaceful place; I'm sure it usually is.

When we arrived, most of those flowers were coated in red. We had all cringed at the sight. I'm not particularly squeamish, but the mere knowledge of where all that blood came from made my stomach churn. Pokemon blood is as thick as honey, and their skin is incredibly tough. For about half the field to be covered, something truly awful must have happened.

My friends and I tried to return our pokemon to their pokeballs, but they wouldn't have it, not that we thought they would. Seeing this kind of damage, knowing that the blood contained such a terrible illness, I would have even returned Pikachu, who can't stand being in a pokeball. He would have been furious with me; I wouldn't have cared.

There wasn't a wild pokemon in sight; they had the good sense to stay away.

Then, we heard the screams. A small group of terrified pokemon - all healthy and uninjured - burst into the field, saw the blood, and stopped, staring in horror. The one in front had short, stubby arms and a green mushroom-shaped head; it was a Breloom I recognized from wrestling. He recognized us as well and desperately called us over.

Steeling myself, I ran through the bloody flowers, my friends hot on my trail. Beside me, Sarge had Voltorb in one hand and had apparently thrown Gardevoir over her other shoulder like a sack. Gardevoir was shouting at her and pounding on her back, apparently forgetting that he had a type-advantage over her. Any other time, the scene would have been kind of funny, but this was Sarge's way of keeping Voltorb and Gardevoir away from the blood. Nevermind the fact that she herself was recklessly charging through it.

One of the pokemon, a Gloom, broke away from the group and beckoned us to follow. Two others, a Paras and a Tangela, tried to send us in another direction. Breloom started barking and waving his arms in protest, sparking an argument among the four of them.

"There must be more than one sick pokemon," Korou concluded.

"Then, we split up," I said. "Gardevoir and I will follow Breloom. Korou, Sarge, you guys go with Paras and Tangela. Lorette, Voltorb, you're with Gloom."

Sarge set Voltorb and Gardevoir down, and Lorette said, "Are you sure, Ash?"

No, but I nodded anyway. "We have to find everyone before things get worse."

"Ash is right," Korou agreed. "We just need to keep a sharp eye on our pokemon. The wild ones as well."

My thoughts are broken by a teacup tapping my nose. Gardevoir is standing in front of me, his concerned eyes on me as he holds the cup in my face. Lorette and Korou are already sipping their tea. Sarge and Voltorb must have finished their conversation. Now, Voltorb is in Lorette's lap, and Sarge is sitting cross-legged on the floor next to her own trainer.

I thank Gardevoir and take the cup from him, barely tasting the chamomile tea inside. He sits down on my other side and rests one arm over my shoulders. I lean into the touch, my mind still locked in the events of today.

Tyrogue was lying against a bloody tree trunk when we found him. I could see more blood leaking from some open wounds that I know he gave to himself. I suppressed a shiver. Even worse, I recognized this Tyrogue from the wrestling match. I wonder if he's friends with Sarge.

"Breh breh!"

Tyrogue looked up at Breloom's call. The motion itself seemed to cause him pain. He winced and moaned in response.

I'd heard about this. The infected pokemon are actively hostile and extremely violent to themselves and those around them, but there are also periods where they are lucid, eerily calm, quietly suffering. Do they know what they've done during their fits of rage? Are they aware of what happens during those periods?

Pikachu…

Breloom tried to run up to his friend, but Gardevoir smartly held him back.

"Both of you stay there," I commanded. "I don't want either of you getting sick." Gardevoir tried to protest as I rolled up my sleeves. "Humans can't get it." As far as I know. "I'll be fine."

I knelt down in front of Tyrogue and took off my backpack. I dug out a potion, a pack of sanitary clothes, and a roll of bandages. Technically, I'd been instructed to just aim the transporter and send the pokemon to the lab, no hesitation. But, that's just not me. I get it if the pokemon is in a frenzied state, but Tyrogue wasn't. He was just laying there, staring at me with dull, sad eyes. This wasn't the spitfire who'd flipped a Raticate mere days ago. No, this was a pokemon in need.

"Here, let's get you patched up," I said, pasting on a smile for Tyrogue's sake. He didn't respond, only moaned some more as I cleaned and bandaged him. "You're in a lot of pain, huh?" Tyrogue squeaked pathetically, a few tears dripping down his face. My heart broke at the sight. I wiped his cheeks with my thumb. "I wanna help you, Tyrogue. See this thing on my arm?" I showed him the transporter. "If I point it at you, it'll send you somewhere with people who are working hard to help sick pokemon like you. They'll do everything they can to make you stop hurting. Then, you can get back in the ring. Maybe you can even take me on!" I added with a wink. Tyrogue cracked a little smile. "So, can I send you there? So that you can get better?"

Gardevoir and Breloom called out their encouragement. Tyrogue nodded, the tiniest hint of hope in his eyes.

"You'll be just fine," I said before firing off the transporter. A thin red light, not unlike that of a pokeball, shot out at Tyrogue, making him glow red, as if combining him with the light, and sucked him into the tiny machine.

I shivered as I rose, despite knowing that he would appear in the research lab, knowing that he would be among people who cared. All the scientists would help him, help all the sick pokemon. They would all be fine.

My throat closed up as my thoughts wandered back to Pikachu. My buddy's strong, really strong. But, that wouldn't stop him from getting sick. My hand meets his pokeball, still strapped on to my belt, right next to Gardevoir's. An intact pokeball means Pikachu's alive, but that doesn't tell me that he isn't hurt or…or sick. He could have Poke-X, and I'd never know! What if he's lying somewhere, bleeding and wishing for help? What if he's in a frenzy and hurting someone? Oh, he would never forgive himself!

"Gardedeh."

Gardevoir's calm voice stopped me from having a full-blown panic attack. I put on a fresh smile and turned around. Gardevoir was crouched down with his arms around a shaking Breloom. My heart broke further, but I pushed through it and approached them. I crouched down next to them and wiped my blood-covered hands - in hindsight, I probably should have brought disposable gloves - in the grass.

"Tyrogue's your buddy, huh?" I asked. Breloom turned his wet, scared eyes to me and nodded. I reached out to pat his head but thought better of it and pulled back. I couldn't risk it. "The guys at the lab are really good at this stuff. Your buddy's in good hands, Breloom."

Gardevoir echoed my assurance, and Breloom calmed down a little.

"There you are."

I looked up and saw Korou walking toward us, his face pale. Sarge was close behind with a solemn expression. This didn't bode well. I stood and swallowed hard. "I got the pokemon. It was a Tyrogue." Sarge started at that. I couldn't look her in the eye. "The…one from wrestling."

Sarge sucked in a breath through her teeth and looked anywhere but at me or the blood. Korou put a hand on her shoulder and stood a little closer to her. He opened his mouth then saw Gardevoir and Breloom still holding each other. Korou leaned in and whispered to me. "I called in the clean-up crew, then I met up with Lorette. She said there were two Rattata both-both dead." His voice broke on the last word. My stomach curdled. Korou cleared his throat. "I guess Voltorb got scared and rolled off somewhere. Lorette's looking for it now."

Suddenly, we heard an explosion and a scream in the distance.

"I…guess she found it," Korou said.

"What about you?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't see how badly my hands were shaking. "Did you find anything?"

He takes a moment - too long a moment - to answer. "There was something. A pokemon, I-I think."

Dear God. "You think?"

"It was, uh, unrecognizable…"

And, that was when I stumbled away and threw up into a bush.

'Tyrogue: the scuffle pokemon. A fighting-type. Known for its strong competitive spirit, Tyrogue becomes stressed if it does not train every day. It will happily take on any opponent, regardless of the opponent's size.'

I sigh and put my pokedex back in my pocket. "I don't think Tyrogue is gonna be training for a while," I say. I down the rest of my now-cold tea and set the cup on the table.

Korou leans over and sets my cup on a coaster. Lorette and I just look at him. He shrugs. "What?"

"You're a dork," Lorette says. "That's all."

"Do you want rings on our boss's coffee table?" is his indignant response. Grinning like a bratty child, Lorette lets her cup hover over the table. Korou points threateningly at her. "Don't. Don't even think about it."

Despite my grim thoughts, I chuckle at the display. "You guys are like me and my friend, Iris. We used to pick on each other all the time. Well, it was mostly her picking on me." Out of nowhere, Gardevoir snatches my hat off my head. "Hey!" He puts it on backwards and lies back on the couch with his legs propped up on my lap and his hands resting behind his head. His tongue sticks out as he regards me with a smug smile. I smirk at him. "What are you doing?"

"He's messing with you, duh," Lorette says through her giggles.

"You've had a tough day," Korou adds, grinning. "Gardevoir's trying to make you laugh."

I shake my head, though I have to admit that I do feel a little bit better. "Alright, Gardevoir, hand it over." He uses Psychic to levitate my hat over his head, just out of my reach. "Seriously, give it back!"

"Champ champ!"

I turn around to see Sarge waving all four arms in the air. Gardevoir sends my hat flying over to her. She catches it and places it on her own head. I try to grab it, but she throws it to Lorette, who throws it to Korou, who throws it to Voltorb. It should be easy to grab something from a pokemon who doesn't have limbs, but Voltorb rolls back to Sarge, who picks my hat up. Before I know it, we're all playing keep-away, and none of us can stop laughing. Even when Voltorb explodes, covering both Sarge and themself in ash, we're all still giggling like idiots. For just a few moments, we've forgotten everything bad in the world in favor of acting like children. I've only known these guys for a few days, and we're already great friends. I love when that happens.

When our laughter dies down, we hear a banging at the back door. "I'll get it," I say, taking my hat back from Korou and putting it back on my head where it belongs.

I'm still grinning when I walk through the kitchen and open the door, but my mood darkens once more when I look down and see who's standing there, his small hands knocking into each other shyly. I bend down, but he doesn't meet my gaze. "Hey, you're Tyrogue's buddy, right?" Breloom nods, shuffling his feet. "I can't really tell you anything. He got there safely, but that's all I know. Sorry."

He coos sadly and turns to leave. I can't stand it. "Uh, Breloom?" He looks over his shoulder at me. I rub the back of my neck. "You can…come inside, if you want." He turns around fully and tilts his head. "My friends have been doing this stuff longer than I have. They might know more than me."

Breloom agrees, and I stand up and move aside. As expected, Breloom's eyes grow huge, and he steps inside and gazes around at the kitchen, making tiny, awestruck noises all the while. I grin. It's always fun to watch a pokemon enter a building for the first time. It's like bringing a little kid into a toy store. While he's distracted, I pull my pokedex back out and aim it at him.

'Breloom: the mushroom pokemon. A grass- and fighting-type. Breloom is incredibly light on its feet. It stretches its short arms to throw punches at speeds that are virtually invisible to the human eye.'

"Lots of neat stuff in here, huh?" I say, putting my pokedex away. Breloom ignores me, spinning around slowly to take it all in. Huffing a laugh, I bend over and tap his head. He looks up at me. "This way."

I lead him back to the living room. Voltorb, who'd been circling the couch for some reason, is the first to notice us and chirps curiously at Breloom. This draws everyone else's attention. Breloom hides behind my leg.

"Hey," Lorette says, "isn't that the Breloom from before?"

Korou frowns. "I assume you're wondering about Tyrogue." Breloom peeks out from behind me and nods. Korou shrugs. "I'm afraid there's nothing to tell. The scientists are doing everything they can, but it's too soon for us to have any real information."

Breloom sighs. Sarge, Gardevoir, and Voltorb approach him, matching sympathy on their faces. I step back, giving the four of them space. Gardevoir wordlessly kneels down to hug Breloom. Sarge raises a fist and offers what sounds like encouragement. Voltorb jumps up and down, supposedly echoing whatever Sarge said. Gardevoir stands up and coos kindly at Breloom, who smiles back and chirps his thanks.

There's something mesmerizing about hearing pokemon converse. Their voices are limited to only a handful of syllables, with some pokemon only grunting or growling, each species having its own assortment of sounds, yet they all understand each other perfectly. They can even understand us humans, yet our traitorous ears refuse to understand them in return.

The only exception - for me, at least - is Pikachu. Not all Pikachu, just my buddy. It didn't start out that way, but one day I just suddenly started understanding him. It's weird. On the surface, it still sounds like a bunch of nonsense. But, when Pikachu speaks, I just kind of know what it all means. It's instinct, I guess. The closest I've ever found to something similar was back in the Kalos Region with Greninja. But, even then, I could only really hear him when his Battle Bond ability was activated, and even then it was telepathy; I wasn't actually hearing his voice. I've never found another pokemon I could hear all the time like Pikachu.

Well, except for Team Rocket's Meowth, but he can (somehow) physically speak like a human, so I don't think he counts.

We let Breloom stay with us until my aunt gets home. We ask her about Tyrogue, but it turns out that it really is too soon to tell. Then, Aunt V tells us to "take it outside," referring to Breloom. She says that she doesn't want him in here since he was with Tyrogue, which makes sense, I suppose.

Breloom keeps shooting nervous glances at Aunt V as I walk him out. "You'll have to excuse her," I say. "She's pretty much the definition of 'brutal honesty.'"

"Brehloom…" He's anxiously scanning his body as I let him out the door.

"I don't think you'll get sick," I assure. "Uh, you didn't get any blood or anything in your mouth, did you?" Breloom grimaces and shakes his head. "And, it doesn't look like you're hurt at all, so you'll be just fine." I explain how this virus is transferred, and he agrees to let others know. There's a new determination in his eyes as turns to leave. I stop him. "I'll be sure to keep you updated on Tyrogue." Breloom smiles his thanks.

All of the pokemon I've caught over the years, with a few exceptions, live on Professor Oak's ranch. Other trainers have pokemon living there as well, but I think most of them are mine. Professor Oak has special drones set up there that allow trainers to see their pokemon, and vice-versa, even from across the world. Trainers can control these drones from a computer or smartphone. (Again, science is so amazing!)

After the events of today, I have to check on my friends. Professor Oak told me that they know about the virus - hard to keep something like that a secret - but they don't know about Pikachu. He thought it would be better if they heard it from me. I get it, but I'd rather not have to relive my own damn stupidity. Still, I know they'd figure it out eventually. Why put off the inevitable? Besides, I want to introduce Gardevoir to everyone.

But, I'm really hoping no one notices Pikachu's absence.

I sit at the computer in the guest room I'm staying in, controlling the drone the best I can (so far, I've only bumped into eight pokemon, so I'd call that an improvement over last time), and Gardevoir is beside me in the chair I'd brought over for him. Seeing my pokemon's smiling faces, plus Gardevoir's own enthusiasm over meeting the many friends I've made over the years, already has me in a better mood. Especially when my thirty Tauros almost stampede over the drone, and Gardevoir starts laughing hysterically as I barely manage to dodge them. Wait until he finds out they do that to me in person as well.

Sadly, it doesn't take long for someone to notice the, in Aunt V's words, distinct lack of yellow.

Three of my fire-type pokemon appear on the screen. Charizard is shooting Flamethrower straight into the sky, Pignite is hopping from one foot to the other, and Infernape is doing back-flips. I have no idea what's going on, but it's during those back-flips that Infernape finally notices me-

"Fern-fern-fernape!"

-and launches himself at the drone, his huge grin taking up the screen.

"Infernape," I laugh, Gardevoir giggling beside me, "we can't see!"

Pignite pulls him off the screen and waves at us. Charizard gives us a thumbs-up.

"Hey, guys! I want you to meet Gardevoir. I just caught him the other day. Gardevoir, meet Charizard, Infernape, and Pignite," I say, pointing to each pokemon in turn.

Everyone greets each other, but Charizard frowns, pats his shoulder, and growls quizzically. I flinch. Infernape and Pignite look at him, then their curious eyes move to my empty shoulder. Infernape presses himself against the screen again, trying to get a better look. This time Charizard pulls him off.

I swallow hard and glance at Gardevoir, who nods solemnly and rests his hand on top of mine. I swallow again. "S-so, about Pikachu. He's kind of- He, uh…"

God, this is harder than I expected. Not only do I have to tell them that Pikachu's missing, but they know about the virus. They know that means Pikachu could be in the thick of it. But, beyond that, I'm the trainer. It's my job to make sure the pokemon in my care are, well, cared for. I'm supposed to protect them, keep them happy and healthy. Their well-being is my top priority. And, I just handed Pikachu to Team Rocket. It doesn't matter that they were in disguise. They've been wearing disguises for years, and I always, always, fall for it. I've let Pikachu down. I've let all my pokemon down.

Pignite sputters, bringing me out of my thoughts. His eyes are darting all over the place. Charizard is frozen where he stands. Infernape looks ready to cry. I've been quiet for too long, and who knows what my face must look like! Moreover, they know I don't normally act like this. Of course, they're going to assume the worst!

"Not dead! Not dead!" I cry, waving my arms in front of me. "Pikachu's not dead."

As the three of them visibly relax, I take Pikachu's pokeball off my belt and press its button, bringing it to its full size. I roll it between my palms, trying to draw some strength from its cool, smooth surface. A few more of my pokemon - Gible, Torkoal, and Oshawott - have come over to see what all the commotion is. I make some brief introductions for Gardevoir. Pignite speaks to the newcomers, their startled expressions telling me that Pignite is explaining Pikachu's absence.

Gardevoir touches my shoulders and offers a sad but encouraging smile. Right. I can do this.

"See, Team Rocket showed up, and…and they got Pikachu. He got away, but…I haven't seen him since." My throat closes up. I can't bring myself to say anything else.

Gible and Oshawott scream and run in circles. Torkoal bursts into tears, and Pignite and Infernape desperately try to calm him down. Charizard is oddly still, staring at the ground with an unreadable expression and his arms crossed. His lack of reaction is the worst reaction. It's as if he expected something like this to happen.

Forcing myself to smile, I assure, "Hey, hey, Pikachu's tough. We all know that. Wherever he is, he's got this. We'll find him soon. Or, he'll find us. Whatever comes first."

I sound more confident than I feel, but everyone calms down. They're still scared, of course they are, but at least they aren't in a frenzy.

Charizard, however, hasn't moved.

I try to distract myself by checking in with my other pokemon. My heart's not in it, but I press on, pretending that everything's normal. But, as I go over everyone, I notice that several of them aren't as happy to see me as they usually are. Some of my flying-types are circling the sky, as far as the barrier will allow, searching, barely noticing me and Gardevoir. Other pokemon are speaking anxiously with each other. I know that word has spread about Pikachu.

They all love him. They're all worried about him. Imagine how much worse it would be if they knew he'd been missing for almost two weeks, that it's my stupid fault in the first place. I'm too much of a coward to give them the whole story.

Just as I'm about to turn off the program, I spot Charizard off to the side, deep in conversation with Snivy, who is standing on the palm of his hand. I say hi to them, but Snivy only gives me a cursory wave. Charizard won't even look at me. Great, now they're both disappointed in me. I'm sure they aren't the only ones. I can't say I blame them.

Finally, I shut down the program and sigh heavily, holding Pikachu's pokeball to my chest with both hands and resting my chin on it. Where are you, buddy? Please, please, be alright! I love you. Our friends love you. Whatever's going on with you, please stay strong!

Please, don't get sick…

A small hand catches the tear that slips down my cheek. Gardevoir leaps from his chair and hugs me, and I almost break at the contact. I scrub at my face and hold him a little tighter than is necessary. He's only known me for a few days, and this is what he has to put up with. I'm ashamed all over again.

"I'm sorry, Gardevoir," I say once I'm composed enough to speak. Gardevoir looks up at me in confusion. "The whole time I've known you, I haven't been at my best. The guy who you met at wrestling? That's me. At least a better me. I'm not moody like this. I don't normally let things get to me, and I hate that that's the me you know."

Gardevoir blinks at me, his frown deepening as he shakes his head. "Gardeh-vwarh. Deh-vwarh."

I wish I knew what that meant, but it sounds like reassurance. I gently pull him off me and stand. I walk over to the window and stare outside, as if expecting to find Pikachu standing in the yard, waving at me, giggling in his way (mouth closed, happy noises heard from within, covering his mouth with his hands if he's really amused, as if he wants to laugh out loud but doesn't want to be heard). He wouldn't want to see me like this. He'd tell me not to let my feelings cloud my judgment. It's happened before, he'd remind me, and it's never ended well.

Right. I take in a few deep breaths and turn back to Gardevoir, who is standing with his hands folded in front of him, his head tilted at my change in demeanor. "You know what?" I say, a new determination in my heart. "I'm gonna show you my best." Gardevoir tilts his head the other way, tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth. "I'm still worried. About Pikachu, about the sick pokemon, about all the pokemon. But, I'm not gonna let it get to me. Not anymore!" I walk up to Gardevoir and pump up the fist without the pokeball. "Determination and a can-do attitude. That's the me I like, and that's what you're gonna see from now on!" I lower my fist for him to bump. "Let's keep on keeping on, Gardevoir!"

Gardevoir grins widely, genuinely, bumps my fist, and wraps me in another hug.