Hatterene's Den

"I wouldn't exactly have chosen madness if there had been a choice." - Vincent Van Gogh

Pikachu

We watch Hattrem evolve in a horrified silence. Her small stature grows higher and higher and higher still. She might even be taller than Ash, who is considered quite large by human standards. The light dissipates, throwing the room back into darkness. The coloration is difficult to see, but the new pokemon before us seems to have a gradient of blue on top, pink in the middle, and finally white on the bottom. Her long body is curved in that way that humans consider "shapely," though there's a good chance that it's all just more hair, considering her previous form and the fact that she sports no visible arms or legs. The cone-like thing on her head, which I suspect is also hair, now has a wide brim that makes it resemble a pointy hat. But, what really gets my attention is the long tentacle hanging off it, which ends in what looks like an enormous three-fingered hand. I don't think it's just for show.

Hatterene looks down at us, and I realize that I'm wrong. What gets me are her eyes. Eyes that are devoid of all emotion. Gone is the kind and lonely female who shared her food with me. She has been replaced by a monster.

And, it's my fault. I helped her evolve, helped her turn into this.

"Hatterene," I choke out. My throat is too tight for me to say anything else.

Not that she gives me the chance. With an eerily calm expression that is sure to haunt all three of us, she raises her new tentacle, which glows a dark pink, and swipes it at us.

Jessie cries out and futilely throws her hands over her face, but Wobbuffet jumps in front of her. His body glows orange with Counter. Psycho Cut - because of course Hatterene learned that on top of everything else - makes contact. There's a burst of light, and Hatterene is thrown back, landing in the thankfully-empty fireplace. Her hair spills out around her, revealing a tiny stick-figure-like body that's only slightly larger than it was before evolution. Counter causes that opponent to take twice the damage they'd inflicted on the user. Considering how strong Hatterene was even before evolving, not to mention our battle earlier, she should be down for a while. I hope.

Wobbuffet groans and sways on his feet. I wince at the sight. That's the problem with a move like Counter; it only works when the user takes damage, and Wobbuffet no doubt took a lot, despite a psychic-type's natural resistance to other psychic-type attacks.

"Wobbuffet." Jessie pulls herself to her knees and steadies her partner. I've never heard such a gentle tone come from her. "Wobbuffet, are you okay?"

Wobbuffet gives himself a hard shake. "Yeah, yeah, I think so." He sounds winded but not close to fainting. Wobbles wasn't kidding about her kind having good stamina.

Jessie grabs something from her belt. "Get in your pokeball," she commands, bringing the object in question to full size. Wobbuffet makes a pleading noise and frantically shakes his head. Jessie grits her teeth and snarls, "Get in! No arguments!" She returns him to his pokeball before he can respond. She reclips it and turns to me. Her gaze catches on my open wound and something passes over her face, but it's gone just as quickly as it appeared. She ever-so-gently picks me up, and for once I let her. She rises to her feet. "Let's get out of here before that freak wakes up."

"She's not a freak," I argue weakly.

Predictably, Jessie doesn't respond. She creeps to the door and tries to move the still raised planks, which are flush against the door. She breathes out a string of curses and tiptoes around the shack, her heart beating loud and fast against my remaining ear. As she searches for an exit, she cradles me to her chest in a way that, while strange coming from her, is achingly familiar.

How many times has Ashton held me in a similar way? How many times have I looked up and saw him glare daggers at whoever had hurt or upset me? Watched helplessly as tears fell from his beautiful eyes when the world became too much even for him? Snuggled into his chest as he gazed at me adoringly when we were simply in the mood to cuddle?

Did Miriam ever hold Hatenna that way? Does she care enough, or is she even able to, hold Hatterene like that?

What would Miriam think if she saw what I'd done to her partner, assuming she even cares? She'd be furious. She would scream at me and maybe even hit me, and I would let her. And, what will Ashton do when he sees me with only one ear? He'll be horrified. He'll hold me and stroke me and his hands will shake as he tries to push down his pain because he always wants to be the strong one even when it's killing him.

How will I tell him what I did to Hattrem? There's no guarantee that a pokemon will behave the same way after evolving, but a change in personality is uncommon enough that I hadn't even considered it.

Maybe it wasn't even the evolution. Maybe I just didn't get Jessie and Wobbuffet out fast enough. Maybe I shouldn't have come to their rescue. No. No, I don't regret saving them. Maybe I should have just tried harder to convince Hattrem that I didn't betray her.

Or, maybe I shouldn't have come here at all.

I don't even realize that I've started crying until Jessie shushes me because, "Now's not the time, and I am so bad with crying!"

I choke down my sobs as Jessie attempts to open the broken kitchen window with one hand, the other still holding my pathetic form. Her white Team Rocket uniform is soaked with my blood. Under normal circumstances, she'd have a screaming fit over her clothes getting ruined. For some reason, the image makes me giggle.

"Oh great," Jessie mutters. "The little shit's hysterical. Better not zap me."

That only makes me laugh more. Maybe I really am hysterical.

Jessie sets me on the counter top and tries to open the window with both hands. It looks hopeless, but then the window flies open and Jessie almost falls back. She breathes out in relief. "That'll do. You first."

She reaches for me, but I jump back. I wipe blood out of my eye again and point to her then to the opening, silently begging her to go first.

Jessie gives me a look that would make anyone else obey. "I'm not the one who's bleeding to death!"

A lot of humans don't realize just how long it takes for blood loss to become a problem for a pokemon. We aren't like humans with their delicate skin and blood that flows like bright red water. Sometimes I can't help but wonder how humans as a species have survived for this long. They're just so fragile. They don't even have attacks or abilities. I guess that's what weapons are for.

Jessie reaches for me again, but we both jump back when the window slams shut. Her eyes are wide, and her breathing quickens. "Please tell me that was just gravity doing its thing."

I look behind her, and my heart pounds harder. Hatterene is standing in the doorway, her voluminous hair back in place, her eyes filled with murder. But, she seems to be swaying a little. She's still weakened from our battle and Wobbuffet's Counter. Maybe we still have a chance.

Especially when Wobbuffet leaps out of his pokeball and stands in front of us, facing Hatterene down with his arms outstretched protectively. I'm not thrilled about someone else being in danger, but I'll take all the help I can get.

Jessie, however, has a different opinion. "Wobbuffet, you were supposed to stay in your pokeball!"

"Do you know me?" he quips in response.

Hatterene stares at us, and a sharp gust of wind blows Jessie and Wobbuffet against the wall, while I end up careening against the oven door. Blood continues to sting my eye, but I've since stopped caring. The oven opens, and pain explodes over my back when the door slams on top of me. I think Hatterene might have done that on purpose, because now I'm pinned to the floor. Hatterene is staring down at me with those empty eyes, and I'm really, really hoping that the oven no longer works.

I hear something clattering nearby, but Hatterene doesn't seem to notice. She just keeps glaring at me-

Suddenly, my lungs constrict, my chest is too tight. As I choke on nothing, I'm brought back to the mishap on Team Rocket's submarine, when I just couldn't hold my breath anymore and saltwater filled my body. The oven door presses harder, as if Hatterene couldn't decide whether to crush me or suffocate me so she's doing both. Dots coat my vision and my limbs flail in panic and my mind is filled with thoughts of friends and family I'll never see again.

Then, it stops as suddenly as it started. The pressure on my back eases and my body goes limp and I gulp down sweet, sweet air. My wound aches and throbs and my eye stings from the blood that poured down my face in my frenzy and left its coppery taste in my mouth. I spit, pray that it is indeed blood from what's left of my ear, and look up.

Jessie must have been rifling around for a weapon, because she is stabbing Hatterene in the side with a rusty knife. Or, trying to, as the knife passes harmlessly through Hatterene's hair. Jessie continues stabbing with a dumbfounded look on her face, muttering, "I don't know why I thought this would work." Any other time, the scene would be kind of amusing in a grim sort of way. But, there is nothing amusing about the look Hatterene gives Jessie, who holds up the knife and asks with forced cheekiness, "Free haircut?"

Then, Jessie's hands jerk in front of her, and she cries out at the movements that are not her own. Her hands shoot together, clutching the handle of the knife, pointing the blade at her own chest. She lets out a string of quiet no-no-no's and stares wide-eyed at the blade.

I shoot out from under the door and nail Hattrene with Quick Attack. At the same time, Wobbuffet hits her with an empty drawer that breaks on contact. Hatterene goes down, though her hair is still in place, telling me that she's not through yet, and the knife falls from Jessie's hands.

She braces herself against the counter top and pants heavily as tears drip down her face. "Oh God. My life flashed before my eyes." She turns her horrified gaze toward me and laughs brokenly. "I spent a lot of time chasing after you."

Against all odds, I laugh too. So does Wobbuffet. I think we're all hysterical at this point.

Hatterene begins to stir, and we all stop laughing.

Wobbuffet nudges me, a surprisingly determined look on his face. "Look after Jessie," he whispers. "I've got an idea."

He leaves the room with no further explanation. Jessie calls after him, and I press down on her boot. I glance in the direction Wobbuffet went and press down again. She nods, getting the message.

Hatterene rises and looks down at us with those eyes, deciding how to proceed, how to spill more blood.

"Hatterene, I'm your friend," I plead, my voice shaking. "I never lied to you. I care about you, Hatterene!"

Deep down, I know that she is beyond reason, but I can't stop myself from trying. After meeting her, battling her, learning her story, I truly have grown to care for her. Hattrem wasn't a bad pokemon. She was lonely yet so afraid of those who couldn't possibly understand her. She had a deep trust and longing for someone she may never see again. She had a deep desire to get stronger for that person.

I related to Hattrem so much. She can't be completely gone.

"I had so much fun battling you!" I shout, my face wet with tears and blood. Hatterene doesn't react. She just keeps staring at me. I take that as a sign to keep talking. "I-I loved talking to you and sharing food and-and I wasn't lying about Ash and I want you to find Miriam! Hatterene…" I run out of words too quickly.

Hatterene lets out a low hiss that makes my fur stand on end.

"Pikachu," Jessie says, "whatever you're doing, I don't think it's working."

Where is Wobbuffet? Whatever he's doing, I hope it works at least.

Nothing I do ever seems to work. When it seems like I'm doing something right, I always end up failing in the end. I can't do anything right outside of a battle, and most of the time Ash is guiding me through those anyway.

Oh, Ashton, none of this would have happened if you were here.

Hatterene readies another Psycho Cut. I jump in front of Jessie, who whimpers behind me. As Hatterene swipes her huge hand, I meet it head-on with Quick Attack.

At least, I think it's Quick Attack. Either way, I manage to not only overpower her, but send her and myself crashing through the wall and back into the living room. We land on the chair, toppling it over. We roll into the wall, and her solid mass of hair goes limp once more. I sneeze at the dust that's been kicked up and lay there panting, hot with adrenaline, waiting for Hatterene to get back up. She makes a small sound but doesn't rise.

"Well," Wobbuffet says. He is standing in the kitchen doorway, his face slack in shock though his tone is impressed. He nods at the large tube-thingy he must have been dragging along the floor, the machine that he and Jessie had arrived with. "I was going to suck her into this thing, but it looks like you've got it covered."

He stares at the wall, and my legs scream as I step around the chair and follow his gaze. This is why trainers don't hold pokemon battles in rooms that weren't designed for them. There is a massive hole where the wall should be, and dirt and debris are everywhere. Hatterene and I are filthy, and some deranged part of me is concerned about my open wound getting infected.

Jessie gapes at us for a moment before regaining her composure. "Is it safe?"

I nod, though the action makes my head swim. I'm starting to feel the effects of the blood loss. I hope I can get back to my friends before the adrenaline wears off.

My friends. Arceus, I hadn't even considered how they would react to my missing ear. How long have I been here, anyway? Is it sunhigh yet? Are they looking for me?

Jessie returns Wobbuffet to his pokeball, picks me up once more, and carries me back to the kitchen. She reopens the window, climbs onto the countertop, and crawls out the window with me in tow. I barely register any of this.

My friends in the PokeSquad are going to be so upset, so afraid when they see me now. My family back in Pallet Town, Delia and Mimey and everyone on Professor Oak's ranch, will feel even worse. Charizard in particular is going to want to incinerate Hatterene despite my injury not really being her fault.

And, Ashton… I can already see the look on his face. The fear, the pain, the anger. He'll hate Hatterene in an instant. Will he feel that way when he learns that I'm the reason for Hatterene's anger?

Hatterene. I have to talk to her. I have to apologize, to find a way to fix this. Can I even fix this? I'm not Ash Ketchum. Ash could have calmed Hatterene with a few words and a gentle caress. All I did was attack her.

Attacking. Is that truly the only way I'm any use?

I must have lost consciousness. One minute, I was in Jessie's arms, feeling sorry for myself. Now, I'm lying on a blanket in the middle of the forest. The sky is still dark, but the stars are starting to fade as dawn quickly approaches.

Despite my aching, well, everything, I force myself into a sitting position and realize that my fur isn't heavy and sticky anymore. I gingerly touch the sore, throbbing spot where my ear was and feel a rough bandage on my head. Three, actually. Someone cleaned me up and dressed my wound.

"Well," someone says. "Rise and shine, Pikachu."

I look over my shoulder and wince as I turn to face Meowth, who is curled up on the other end of the blanket. That's when I notice the smell. A sharp, sour smell coming from him. His large eyes are glossy and tired, like just keeping his head up is a huge effort. So, he really is sick.

"Are you okay?" I ask and immediately feel stupid. Nothing about him looks okay.

His mouth twitches in false amusement. "Everything's attached, ain't it?" Then, he flinches and hastily apologizes.

"Pikachu?" Jessie's voice is cautious, unsure.

She, James, and Wobbuffet are next to us, sitting around a dwindling fire that James is trying to stoke back to life. But, his efforts are dropped when he sees me awake. The three of them quickly crowd around me, and Meowth tells them to back off. But, he does so in his native tongue, so only Wobbuffet hangs back. Jessie and James are a little too close for comfort.

Jessie is no longer wearing her uniform which is likely ruined. Instead, she is wearing a pale blue shirt with sleeves that only reach her elbows and long jeans. This must be part of her latest civilian disguise. Then, I spot the bandage peeking out from under her sleeve. I have no doubt that she's hurt other places too. How did I not realize? Was I really so caught up in my own problems that I failed to notice that Jessie had been hurt? How selfish is that?

"How's your head feeling?" James asks me, snapping me back to the here and now.

I tilt my head and wince at the soreness. They all get the message.

James smiles sympathetically. "I suppose that's to be expected." He turns to Jessie. "You did a good job, Jessie, but I think it would be best to have Nurse Joy look at him." Jessie only nods.

"Jessie patched me up?" I ask. I don't know why this surprises me so much.

"Wouldn't let anyone else touch you," Wobbuffet says.

"Why would she help me? I didn't do anything."

Wobbuffet blinks in disbelief. "You're…kidding, right? In case you've forgotten, you're the reason she and I are here in the first place! You save our lives, Pikachu!"

In the back of my mind, I know he's right. I did protect them. But, could there have been another way? Was there something I could have done to prevent them from needing protection in the first place?

I need to see Hatterene. I need her to understand that my saving Jessie and Wobbuffet doesn't mean I'm with Team Rocket. My friend can't be gone just because she evolved, right?

I remember when Charmander evolved. He went from being sweet and shy to being stubborn as hell and even outright mean at times. But, even if we argued from time to time, even if his poor treatment of Ash grated at me like nails on a chalkboard, we never stopped loving each other. And, he did manage to soften after a time.

But, only because of Ash.

Ash isn't here, and after tonight's events, I'm not sure I can fix this mess without him. But, that won't stop me from trying.

"Meowth, help me out here," Jessie says suddenly. Then, to me, "Why did you save us? We've been enemies since the day we met. You can't just help us when we've been nothing but mean to you. That's not how it works!" James places a calming hand on her shoulder. Jessie shakes it off with tears in her eyes. "If I hadn't been there, you wouldn't… You lost your ear because of me, so why help us?"

Words fail me. Jessie blames herself for this? I suppose their wanting to capture Hatterene is what triggered this whole mess initially. But, if I hadn't helped Hatterene evolve, maybe I could have talked her down. Or, maybe everything started with Miriam leaving her there, whatever the real reason.

Maybe it's no one's fault. Or, maybe it's everyone's fault.

So many maybe's and no answers to speak of.

"I just wanted to help," I say, not sure who I'm talking about.

Jessie and James, who had been watching with a stricken expression, turn to Meowth.

Meowth just moans and blinks at them, unseeing. His chin meets the ground, and my stomach drops. It had only been a few days since I'd last seen him, and he'd seemed completely healthy. Now, he's so unwell that he's barely awake and can't even translate one sentence? I know that diseases can hit pretty hard out of nowhere but-

He couldn't have Poke-X, could he? No, probably not. I don't see any injuries, and I doubt Jessie and Wobbuffet would have left if they thought Meowth was a danger to himself and James. But, whatever Meowth has must be really bad regardless. That stench coming from him, it almost smells…rotten. Arceus, please don't let him have the rotting disease!

As Wobbuffet comfortingly rubs Meowth's back, Jessie and James exchange hard looks. "We can't wait any longer," James says.

"Agreed," Jessie replies.

Wobbuffet wordlessly picks up Meowth, who squirms a little but is unable to do anything else. A few days ago, he would probably have clawed Wobbuffet's face.

Jessie says to me, "We're heading to the nearest Pokemon Center, and you're coming with us." Her tone leaves no room for argument, but I shrink back when she tries to grab me. Her eyes narrow further. "This isn't a trick, if that's what you're worried about." She throws her hand toward Meowth, who has gone limp, resigned to being carried. "Look at him. Who could fake that? Not even me, and I'm the best actress I know." Her teammates, Meowth included, collectively roll their eyes. "Now, stop being stubborn."

She reaches for me again, and I practically leap backwards and shake my head, which turns out to be a bad idea when my head throbs and tiny speckles briefly coat my vision. I need a Pokemon Center. They're not wrong about that. But, I can't just leave my friends, especially when they know or will soon know where I was all night. If they can't find me, who knows what they'll think?

And, if they show up at that shack with Hatterene in her current state… Arceus, I can't think about that.

Luckily, James has always been the sensible one between the two humans. "Jessie, he's probably with the twerps. Or, the twerpy squad. Either way, someone is going to be looking for him."

Thank you, James, but… "Twerpy squad?" I turn to the pokemon, genuinely offended even if I'm only with the group temporarily.

Wobbuffet gives me a placating look. "Meowth coined it. Blame him."

Meowth is apparently feeling well enough to growl at him.

Jessie scoffs but doesn't object. "Fine. I'll get him where he's going. The rest of you get Meowth to the Pokemon Center."

"I'm coming with you," Wobbuffet says, handing Meowth off to James. Wobbuffet then moves to my side, places his hand on my back, and looks up at his trainer to convey his wishes.

"You want to come too?" Jessie interprets.

"It's not a bad idea," James says, rising to his feet and repositioning Meowth in his arms. Meowth weakly argues that he can walk, but he's still not speaking human, so James can only glance at him worriedly. To Jessie, James says, "With Pikachu in this state, whoever he's with is likely to attack first and ask questions later." He grimaces. "Don't forget our last encounter with his trainer."

Wait, they saw Ash? I shouldn't be surprised. Jessie's shudder at the reminder shouldn't surprise me either. Considering that these guys are the reason we were separated in the first place, I can only imagine how Ash would have reacted to seeing them again. He's not a violent man in the least, but when a loved one is hurt or in danger, it's like a switch flips. Ashton Ketchum is incredible as a friend and an absolute nightmare as an enemy. It doesn't help that his size would likely make him an alpha human if such a thing existed.

"Fine," Jessie concedes. "Wobbuffet and I will take Pikachu wherever we're taking him. You just get Meowth some help."

"Why were you guys there alone, anyway?" I ask Wobbuffet.

He, Jessie, and I are walking back to where I'd last seen my friends. Jessie had once again tried to carry me but relented when she saw that I could walk, at least on all-fours. If she or her pokemon notice that I'm walking slower than normal, they don't mention it. My whole body is aching from the movement, but I force myself to press on. These two have been through enough tonight without me adding to their burden. Again.

Wobbuffet shrugs, trying to be nonchalant despite the heaviness of his tone. "Jessie couldn't sleep, and she knows I don't need a lot of sleep anyway. But, I think she was looking for a distraction more than anything."

A distraction from what, I wonder. Then, it hits me. "Meowth is that bad, huh?"

Wobbuffet sighs. "He isn't that good."

"I could smell him. How long's he been like that?"

"'Bout a day. It just kind of hit him. He started out insisting that he just ate something bad, but I don't think so. He just kept getting worse as the day went on."

So, that's what happened. Jessie was overwhelmed by the bad stuff, so she just needed something else to do. Ash is the same way when he's upset. Distraction isn't a bad coping mechanism, but the bad stuff always comes back to hit you in the face. It seems tonight was no different for Jessie. I wonder if Ash has needed any distractions since we were separated.

"I still don't see why you saved us," Jessie says from the rear. "Unless I missed my guess, there were no issues until we showed up." Her footsteps stop, then there's a quiet, "And, I'm the reason we showed up."

Wobbuffet and I turn around. Jessie's arms are crossed, and she is glaring down at the grass. I've never seen Jessie…remorseful before.

"This isn't your fault, Jess," Wobbuffet gently assures.

Jessie scoffs, still not looking at us. "Why am I bothering? It's not like you can respond."

I know what she means, but she's wrong. I walk up to her and tug on her pant leg, prompting her to finally look at me. I give her a wide smile and tug again, letting her know that I don't blame her for my ear, for anything that happened with Hatterene.

Jessie's stern expression wavers, her eyes blinking too much. She grunts, balls up her shaking fists at her sides, and stares straight ahead. "Just take us where you're taking us," she commands, her voice breaking a little. I turn back around, satisfied that my message has been received, and hear her mutter, "You twerps make no sense."

"In her own way," Wobbuffet says as we set off once more, "she really is sweet. I know she can be kind of a hot head, but she's a good person deep down."

I'm starting to realize that. "You guys are really close."

Wobbuffet chuckles, as if there's a joke I'm not privy to. "You should have us in the beginning. Jessie was…not fond of me to say the least. Luckily, I'm the type to just go with the flow. It took some time but we worked it out and now we couldn't be closer."

It's like all the pain in my body has seeped into my heart. "Sounds like me and Ash in reverse."

"You didn't like him at first?"

"Well…"

I'm grateful to these guys for patching me up, even if it sounds like it was mostly Jessie, and it's clear that they aren't totally bad. Wobbuffet always seemed like the most level-headed of the group, just going with the flow as he put it, and Jessie wouldn't understand me anyway. But, I'm not sure I'm ready to share that particular bit of information with them.

Luckily, Wobbuffet gets the hint. "Too personal. Got it." There's a pause, then he changes the subject. "Nice new move, by the way. What was that?"

Now, if only it was a subject I understood. "New move? What are you talking about?"

Wobbuffet frowns at me. "That-that pink move. I thought- Ah, nevermind. Must have been something Hatterene used."

But, his words nag at me. Supposedly, there have been points when my eyes glowed pink and I got a power boost for whatever reason. And, come to think of it, didn't that Golbat ask me about a pink move? I had kind of ignored him at the time, but now I'm wishing I could find him and ask what he'd meant. Wobbles had thought it was an ability, but could I actually be learning a new move?

Come to think of it, this sort of thing happened the last time I learned a new move. While there are thousands of different attacks out there, a pokemon's mind and body can only handle the knowledge of how to use four at most. When a new move is learned, it takes the place of something else. I could use Electro Ball, once upon a time, but one day the move started going haywire and, long story short, morphed into Electroweb. Ordinarily, new moves just appear out of thin air unless you're actively trying, but there are times when a move can take a while to form. Professor Kukui thinks it's because a pokemon's body is trying to prepare itself for the move, though he notes that it usually only happens with particularly powerful moves like Hyper Beam and Giga Impact. Electroweb may not be the strongest attack in my arsenal, but it certainly has its uses.

I have to think about this, because the more I walk, the more my aching body wants to shut down, and Jessie and Wobbuffet have fallen silent. Soon, fatigue starts overriding my need to keep walking, but I refuse to give in no matter how raw and heavy my legs feel. At one point, Wobbuffet offers to carry me, and I hate how weak my voice sounds when I decline. When Jessie tries to outright pick me up, I make the mistake of wasting energy by generating warning sparks. The act not only makes my brain feel like it's melting, but it also prompts Jessie to mumble something rude-sounding about men.

Finally, blissfully, I see a familiar Bellsprout pass by, apparently searching for something. I try to call out to her, but even my throat feels numb.

Sprout must have heard whatever sound I made, because she spins around, sets her fretful gaze on me, and makes a beeline for me. "Pikachu! Oh my goodness! Wobbles told us what…you…" Then, she really looks at me, what's left of me, her wide eyes locked on the bandaged spot on my head.

Jessie awkwardly clears her throat. "So, you must be with the twerps. I, um… Wobbuffet, help me out here."

Wobbuffet sputters a bit, but before he can say anything coherent-

"OH MY GOODNEEEEEEEESSS!"

I figured Sprout would be the most - ahem - vocal about this, and her scream does nothing for my pounding head. She stands frozen in shock as, one by one, the rest of our group appears. Eevee is the first, taking in my new appearance with a shriek that, to my dismay, is somehow louder than Sprout's. Wobbles is next. She gazes at me with shock that quickly morphs into resignation.

"What's going on?" Last but not least, Absol.

He takes in the sight of Sprout's paralysis and Wobbles holding a now-crying Eevee. Then, he sees me and gasps. Then, his gaze rests on Jessie, and his hackles raise and he bares his teeth, a low, dangerous growl rumbling in his throat.

Wobbuffet's panicked, "That wasn't us," comes at the same time as Jessie's, "I realize this looks bad."

"It wasn't them." Speaking takes too much effort. I manage to get out, "Hattrem evolved," before the world goes black.

The sun is up when I finally come to. The pounding in my head and the soreness of my muscles has eased enough that I at least don't feel like death. Sprout sees my blurry eyes open, gets behind me, and eases me into a sitting position, murmuring gentle encouragement. Eevee, who was curled up next to me, leaps to his feet, his fur wet with tears that start anew when we lock eyes. He tries to speak but whimpers instead.

Feeling horrible, I lick his wet cheeks and stroke his fluffy neck. "I'm okay, Eevee." My throat is scratchy with thirst. Clearing my throat does nothing. "I'm so sorry I scared you. All of you," I add to Sprout.

"Don't worry about us," Sprout coos, still holding me upright. At least she's calmed down. "You just focus on you."

"Psychosis," I hear Wobbles say with carefully contained fear. "You're sure?"

She and Wobbuffet are deep in conversation close by. Jessie is sitting against a tree and watching them with a bored, uncomprehending expression.

Wobbuffet nods, his arms crossed. "Positive. Granted, I've never actually seen a case before, but I'm certain that's what it was."

"I saw it once." Wobbles groans and puts her head in her hands. "I can't believe I didn't think of it!"

"This isn't your fault, Wobbles," Sprout says.

Wobbles looks miserably in our direction. Her face brightens at the sight of me upright than crumbles once more. "Pikachu!" She runs up to me and throws herself at my feet. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have let you go in there alone!"

Everyone's blaming themselves. Yet, I'm the reason for all this grief.

"Wobbles." I rub my hands over her large head, something that helped calm me when I was little and always helps Ash and some of our friends too. "Wobbles, please. You did nothing wrong." She looks up at me with wet eyes that make me feel impossibly worse. "You tried to stop me. I chose not to listen. This isn't your fault."

At that point, Absol appears from the brush, carrying a hunk of dripping-wet moss in his mouth. He makes no comment on the scene before him and instead sets the moss at my feet and says, "Good. You're up." He pushes it toward me. His tone is clipped, professional, yet there's a gentleness to it. "Here. Drink this."

I obediently lap up the cool water, but I barely feel the relief it brings to my dry throat. Everyone's upset because of me, yet everyone is still taking care of me. I messed everything up. Why is no one mad at me?

"You should drink more," Absol says when I stop. "You've barely touched it."

I shake my head. My heart is stuck in my throat, and my stomach feels like it's full of rocks.

"Don't rush him, Absol," Sprout says patiently.

Eevee finally speaks. "I could drink it for him. Would that help?"

No one has the heart to tell him that's not how it works. Wobbles just nudges the moss his way and says, "Give it a try."

While Eevee licks the moss unhappily, Jessie and Wobbuffet, who had been giving us room, cautiously approach, the former on her hands and knees. They stare at me and then each other helplessly, neither knowing quite what to say.

"What's psychosis?" I ask just to fill the silence.

Wobbles climes to her feet, wipes her cheeks, and clears her throat. "Well, as you probably already know, each pokemon type has some form of unique, inbred trait that other types don't. Ghost-types can access the underworld, for instance. And, ice-types can survive in extreme cold. But, for psychic-types, it's a little more complicated."

"We psychic-types," Wobbuffet continues, "are theoretically capable of telekinesis."

"What's telekinesis?" Eevee asks.

"That's when you can move things by thinking about it, right?" I confirm.

Wobbuffet nods. "I say theoretically because accessing this ability is extremely dangerous. To put it bluntly, it can screw up your mind big time."

"Hold on," Absol interrupts. "We've seen pokemon move things using Psychic and Confusion, and they seemed fine."

Wobbles takes over. "That's different. Psychic and Confusion utilize the body as well as the mind. When your mind's doing all the work, there can be consequences. Really, the only pokemon with a strong enough psyche to handle telekinesis is the Abra-line. No one else that I'm aware of. Wobbuffet explained everything that happened to you guys. His theory is that Hattrem was on the verge of psychosis, and the power boost from evolving was…more than she could take, so to speak."

This really is my fault.

When silence falls, Jessie sighs through her nose and says, "Whatever that was, it sounded pretty serious." She rises on to her knees and turns to Wobbuffet. "But, we should probably get going." Wobbuffet nods. Jessie gazes at my friends then looks off to the side. "Um, thank you, Pikachu." She stands up and starts away. "Come on, Wobbuffet."

Wobbuffet puts his hand on my shoulder, says a sincere, "We owe you for this," and follows his trainer.

When they're gone, Absol turns to me. "Well, we know their side of the story, and we know Wobbles's-"

"I'm sorry!" Wobbles blurts, looking like she might cry again.

Absol gives her head a comforting lick. "We told you; we understand why you never told us about Hattrem." He lowers his voice, but I can just barely hear him. "And, we know that Pikachu's like you in that he does whatever he wants."

I look at my feet in shame. What can I say to that?

Eevee laps up the tear that slips down my cheek. "Don't cry, Pikachu. We still love you."

A small, pathetic whine escapes me. I swipe my hands over my eyes before I can break. I don't have the right to cry it all out, not when I'm the one who screwed everything up.

Useless. Utterly useless. Battling and being the cute, fuzzy thing on Ash's shoulder is all I'm good at.

Sprout rests her leaves on my shoulders. "If you're feeling up to talking, I think we'd like to know your point of view." I look at her over my shoulder. Whatever's on my face makes her jump back and wave her leaves in front of her. "N-no pressure or anything! If you don't wanna talk, you don't have to."

I don't want to talk. I want to crawl into a hole and never come out. I want to go find Hatterene and see if there's even the slightest chance of fixing this. I want to nuzzle Ashton's neck while he holds me and murmurs comforting words.

But, my friends are looking at me with so much fear and concern that the words all tumble out of me.

"When I was a youngling, some poachers came to my hoard. You know that my mother was an alpha…but she was also a shiny pokemon."

"A shiny alpha," Wobbles repeats with less interest than she would normally have. "Now, that's a rarity."

I nod. "And, it made her a prime target. She got captured. So did some of the hoard. Others were scattered, and my father… Daddy pushed me into a deep alcove in a tree. He told me to stay there until it was safe. I was young and scared, so-so I stayed there. I stayed there until I couldn't hear anything, and even then I waited longer. No one ever came for me. Eventually, I came out on my own." My voice shakes. "Everyone was gone. I was alone."

I don't tell them about all the blood and gore. I don't tell them that I can't go in my pokeball because being in there brings me right back to that alcove. I don't tell them that I tried to rouse my father with licks and electrocution until reality crashed into me.

"That's why I wanted to help Hatterene," I say instead. "I know how it feels to be alone, to not know who to trust. I…I don't want anyone to feel like that." I squeeze my misty eyes shut, unwilling to see anyone's faces. "She called me her friend. She was happy and then…and then she wasn't…"

My voice was too high, too wobbly at the end. If I go on, I'm afraid I'll lose whatever composure I have left. No one speaks for a while. The only reaction I know of is Sprout wrapping her leaves around me. I lean into her and try to pretend that everything's normal, that this is just a casual hug from a friend. It's not working.

"What I'm hearing," Absol says eventually, "is that you made a lonely pokemon happy for a while. True?" I force myself to meet his gaze. His normally stoic expression is softened by a sad smile. I nod, and he nods back. "That means more than you might think. Regardless of how it ended."

Sprout tightens her grip. "He's right. You're a sweet pokemon, Pikachu. Even if it doesn't seem like it, I'm sure it meant a lot for Hatterene to have someone there who understood her."

My friends mean well, but they weren't there. They didn't see the way Hatterene looked at me, like I'd spent the whole night torturing her and she was finally getting revenge.

"Um," Eevee starts, shuffling his forepaws. "My parents are gone, too. There was a fire before I hatched, and I guess they didn't make it."

I don't tell him I already know this. I just lick his head and say, "I'm sorry, Eevee. Hey, Wobbles." Wobbles had been staring sadly at the ground with her arms crossed but looks up at my voice. "Could you tell me about Hatterene? I'm not familiar with the species."

"Hatterene: the silent pokemon," she begins with less enthusiasm than usual. I hope she perks up soon, though I get the feeling she's going to be mad at herself for a while. "A psychic- and fairy-type. Like its pre-evolution, it isn't fond of loud noises, but instead of pounding you into the dirt, it uses the claws on the end of its tentacle to-" She grimaces, her gaze falling on my injury as she draws her own conclusion. "Well, you get the gist."

I nod and roll forward in a quadrupedal position. "I'm gonna go see Hatterene." My friends cry out in shock and protest. Absol even asks me if I have a death wish. "We were getting along!" I counter shakily. "We ate together. We talked about our trainers. We even had a battle." More quietly, I add. "I can't forget all of that."

My friends exchange looks, unsure of how to respond. Before they can decide, I start in the direction of the shack. I don't care what they say. I don't care how dangerous it is. I'll never forgive myself if I don't at least try to explain everything to Hatterene, to tell her that I never lied to her and that I genuinely care about her. I know I already tried that, but maybe now that things have calmed down, she'll be willing to listen.

Soon, I hear footsteps behind me and stop as everyone catches up to me. Wobbles salutes and says, "We'll be nearby in case things go south."

Arceus, bless these guys.

When we arrive at the shack, Hatterene is sitting cross-legged against the door, her long, long hair spilled out in all directions. A pile of vines sits in front of her, and she is weaving and tying them together with her hands because she likes the manual process. I wonder what she's making.

My friends are hidden in the brush, and I can feel their eyes on me as I walk up to Hatterene and stop a safe distance from her. She is so focused on her task that she doesn't notice me until I say, "Um, hey, Hatterene."

She pauses in her work, large black eyes on me. No emotion.

"I…I know things got…out of hand last night," I continue, ignoring the pounding in my chest, the instinct telling me to get out while I can. "Hatterene, I meant every word I said to you. I didn't lie about anything. I care, Hatterene!" When she doesn't react, I take a chance and cautiously approach her, following the stone pathway. "I get why you were mad. I saved the people who were there to hurt you. That couldn't have looked good, but-but what you were doing wasn't right either! Pokemon are afraid of you because you attack first and ask questions later." I stop walking, now almost directly in front of her, only her long puddle of hair separating us. Hatterene still hasn't moved, but she hasn't attacked me either. A flicker of hope warms me. "I know how it feels to be alone. And, I know what it's like to miss others. I don't like the idea of anyone feeling like that. And, I don't want you to stop trusting me. I want us to trust each other, Hatterene. I want us to be friends."

We stare at each other for so long that my flicker of hope starts to burn out. If Hatterene still hates me, couldn't she at least say something?

The stones along the pathway rise up into the air. Before I can process this, they shoot at me and crush me under them. Pain explodes all over as Hatterene squeezes me like she did with the tablecloth. But, the pressure eases as quickly as it began. I hear cries that sound like Hatterene and Absol as Sprout and Eevee dig me out of the pile.

"Are you okay?" Sprout asks breathlessly. Eevee whimpers beside her, his fur fluffed up.

Before I can answer, Absol is knocked back by a powerful Brutal Swing. Sprout and Eevee whip around at his cry. Hatterene's hair is back in its body-like shape.

Hatterene fires off Dazzling Gleam, but Wobbles jumps in front of Absol, who rises to his feet. Wobbles's body glows a shimmering, pinkish-orange, and her Mirror Coat throws Dazzling Gleam right back at Hatterene ten-fold. Hatterene flies back and lies in the grass, stunned though her hair is still in place.

"Let's get out of here!" Absol commands.

My friends bolt past me, but the gravity of the situation leaves me unable to move. I vaguely register Absol lifting me by the scruff and carrying me to safety. I half-expect Hatterene to follow us into the forest. But, when Absol puts me down, I peer through the brush and watch as Hatterene returns to the spot where she'd been sitting before. Her body lowers to the ground, and her hair falls limp, flowing around her in a pool of blue, pink, and white. She picks up her discarded vines and continues weaving, as if my interruption had been nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

Of course she didn't chase us. Miriam told her not to leave the shack.

I squeeze my mouth shut, blink hard against the tears, desperate for control.

Eevee lightly headbutts my chin. "Um… I liked your speech," he says sadly.

"You did a good thing, Pikachu," Sprout says. "Even if it doesn't seem like it. I'll find you guys some berries." I don't need to look to know that that part had been directed at Wobbles and Absol, who had done all the fighting while I just laid there like a lump. Sprout lightly touches the bandages on my head, which I now realize had come loose. My wound is throbbing, and I feel a trickle of fresh blood. "I'll look for a new cover for that while I'm at it."

"I'll help you," Eevee offers.

The two run off, and I check on Absol and Wobbles. Absol's fur is messy and he's panting a little but his eyes are clear and serious as he watches Hattrem. Wobbles is scuffed up but seems more upset than anything. All in all, neither of them seem particularly worse for wear. I try to take some comfort in that.

Wobbles sighs. "I know you're gonna say it's not my fault," she starts with a glance at the empty space on my head, "but I still kind of feel responsible."

Absol sighs as well and shakes his head. "Maybe this is no one's fault." Then, he turns to me. There's that soft smile again. "Sprout's right, you know. No matter how it turned out, the fact is that you tried to make Hatterene happy when no one else would even go near her. And, you succeeded, even if it was just for a little while. That speaks volumes about you, Pikachu."

In the back of my mind, I know he means that as a compliment. But, I can't bring myself to see it that way.

The fact is, I let Hatterene down. No, it's worse than that. I earned her trust, and my actions caused her to believe I'd betrayed her. I don't regret saving Jessie and Wobbuffet, but I do regret that I couldn't save Hatterene, that I couldn't stop everyone from getting hurt.

Ash wouldn't have failed so miserably; he wouldn't have failed at all. Even if he didn't catch Hatterene, though I suspect he would have, she still would have been left with a new, brighter attitude toward life. That's just the effect Ash has on others, especially pokemon.

But, I'm not Ash Ketchum. I'm just his Pikachu. And, unless there's a battle or someone needs a fuzzy thing to look at, I can't do anything right.