'Stupid Dib-worm and the Stupid Pines!' Zim grumbled internally. No, he was not longing for the board game activities he'd had with Dib-worm and Dib Clone. He did not feel lonely; he had the Computer, Minimoose, and Gir for company if he desired. All of them were high-tech constructs, the pinnacle of machinery—not some flea-ridden, inferior primitives whose kind was too busy polluting their own planet, as if participating in the galaxy's greatest suicide attempt. No, the words of that Old Ape were not getting to him, and he most definitely was not brooding in his room. At this very moment, he was plotting his next grand and amazing scheme to take over this mudball of a planet.

As Zim engaged in his not-brooding activities, he decided to check his wardrobe, where all of his uniforms—identical Invader suits—were neatly hung.

"EHA!" Zim screeched in surprise, suddenly holding his breath defensively as he spotted someone lurking within his wardrobe upon opening the door.

It was a SIR unit, resembling Gir but appearing more like a Frankenstein monster, with mismatched parts in a chaotic array of colors. One eye glowed red while the other was a bright cyan.

"Hiiii! I'm Tir! I think the 'T' stands for Trash!" the robotic abomination chirped cheerfully.

"...What!?" Zim exclaimed, taken aback. He wondered how this thing had managed to infiltrate his base without the Computer detecting it.

Tir then seized one of his uniforms, giggling mischievously. Zim shot a glare at the SIR hybrid, his antennas twitching in irritation. In that moment of brief eye contact, it was clear they both understood what was about to happen.

"Do not even think of doing it!" the Invader hissed, his voice dripping with menace. Without warning, Tir activated its jets, soaring into the air with the uniform clutched in its grasp.

"COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE MALFUNCTIONED TOASTER! COMPUTER! GIR! MINIMOOSE! STOP IT!" he shouted, summoning his loyal minions to help him reclaim his stolen uniform.

Doors attempted to lock onto Tir as he sped past, but he nimbly evaded them, either slipping through just before they closed or changing direction with remarkable agility.

Blaster turrets activated, locking onto him, but Tir was simply too quick and adept at dodging their shots.

He soared through the elevator tube, his jets propelling him upward. In a moment of reckless abandon, he blew a hole in the ceiling to escape, and Zim followed closely behind, climbing up with his spider legs.

Upon reaching the upper level, Minimoose appeared, letting out a cheerful "Nyah!" Just as Tir approached, he childishly chortled, popping Minimoose's snout with a playful poke. The force of the touch made Minimoose stumble back, causing it to accidentally fire a missile that blew apart the closed entrance leading outside.

Gir, with his red eyes glowing fiercely, spread his arms wide to block Tir's path. For a brief moment, both robots paused, locked in a peculiar standoff. Then, as Gir's eyes reverted back to their usual cyan, they both began to dance left and right.

"Duty duty duty dooooo!" they sang in unison, bursting into laughter. Tir's laughter faded first, and he zipped past the still-giggling Gir.

"YOUR TERRIBLE, GIR!" Zim screeched as he continued his pursuit of Tir.

"THANK YOU!" Gir replied, completely oblivious to the chaos around him.

Zim quickly turned back, commanding, "GIR! Stop wasting space and follow me to get my uniform back!"

"YES, MASTA!" Gir saluted with red eyes, then reverted back to his usual cheerful demeanor and followed Zim in the chase.

Meanwhile, the AI of the base let out a deep sigh.

"It's not like all your clothes aren't the same thing…" the Computer muttered to itself and sighed in exhaustion by the absurdity of the situation.

At Robbie's house, a party was in full swing, fueled by the absence of his parents. The atmosphere buzzed with excitement as both Fallers and Skoolmates mingled, creating a lively but chaotic environment.

The Skoolmates found themselves in a rather awkward position. After witnessing the town's bizarre happenings—from the strange events of Summerween to the peculiar incidents at the museum—they had come to realize that Dib, the outcast of Skool, was not as much of a nutcase as they had originally thought. Now, they stood in an uncanny valley, where the line between normal and weird blurred more and more with each interaction they had with the Fallers.

Amidst the laughter and chatter, Tae was the center of attention, but not in the way he had hoped. He looked utterly flabbergasted as Lee, Nate, and even Thompson took turns mocking him.

"I'm being mocked for being normal!? I am so confused!" Tae cried out in dismay, his voice rising above the laughter. His bewilderment only fueled their teasing, leaving him feeling even more out of place in this strange gathering.

Though not all the Skoolmates shared the same uncanny valley vibe.

Blobby and Zita were engaged in an animated conversation with Grenda, who was proudly showcasing a picture of her foreign boyfriend on her phone. The revelation left her and the other girls in shock when they discovered that her boyfriend was a duke.

"This is my boyfriend!" Grenda declared, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

Zita's eyes widened in disbelief. "No way! IS THAT A DUKE!?"

Blobby bounced with enthusiasm. "A duke? Like, a real-life Prince Charming!?"

Aki, who overheard their conversation, muttered to herself in envy, "How did she manage to score that…?"

Meanwhile, Candy and Francine were off to the side, engaged in their own peculiar interests, which seemed to only add to the overall strangeness of the party.

Mabel and Keef were having a rather animated discussion, their excitement palpable.

"I just invented a new flavor for my sweaters!" Mabel chirped, her enthusiasm infectious.

"No way! What is it, Mabel? Is it sparkly banana or maybe rainbow pizza?" Keef guessed, his eyes lighting up with curiosity.

Mabel shook her head vigorously. "Even better! Sparkly banana pizza! Imagine wearing something that smells like a pizza party while you eat a slice!"

Keef nodded in approval. "That's genius! What if we made pizza-scented stickers for the sweaters? Like a combo!"

"Brilliant! Stickers for days! And we can add sparkles—lots of sparkles!" Mabel exclaimed, her imagination running wild.

"Yes! And I bet we could even get a pizza joint to sponsor us!" Keef added excitedly.

"Totally! We'll be the cutest pizza ambassadors ever! Pizza Flan sparkles = ultimate fun!" Keef's eyes sparkled with the possibilities.

Three onlookers watched this exchange, utterly weirded out by the bizarre enthusiasm.

"What in the name of gravity is happening here…?" Dipper asked, left baffled by the spectacle.

Gaz blanched, her expression one of disgust. "Blegh! Now there's two of them!"

Flan, who had also witnessed the scene, looked as if he had just witnessed an atrocity. All he could utter was, "...What?" His name, after all, was literally Flan, like the caramel pudding, adding an extra layer of bizzareness of the moment.

Jessica and Pacifica were currently engaged in a heated verbal battle, each throwing insults with sharp precision.

"Fake blonde!" Jessica shouted, her tone dripping with disdain.

"Karen!" Pacifica shot back, her eyes narrowing.

"Rich brat from the Valley!" Jessica retorted, crossing her arms defiantly.

"Spoiled City Girl!" Pacifica countered, a smirk playing on her lips.

"At least I don't need a trust fund to buy friends!" Jessica sneered, her confidence unwavering.

"Says the girl who can't go five minutes without a selfie!" Pacifica jeered, her voice laced with mockery.

"Girls! Girls! We get it, you're both pretty! Can I go to the bathroom now?" Penny exclaimed, exasperated as she stood trapped between them, desperately needing to get past.

Neither girl paid her any mind. Jessica rolled her eyes dramatically. "Pretty? I'm a goddess!"

"A goddess of what? Bad 2000s fashion choices?" Pacifica rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed.

"Forties-era fashion sense called; they want their hairstyle back!" Jessica ridiculed Pacifica's carefully styled hair.

"Seriously! You're blocking the bathroom!" Penny threw her hands up in frustration, her patience wearing thin.

Still, neither took notice of her plight.

"—Maybe I'll just stand here forever!" Jessica declared, curling her lips defiantly.

"Good luck with that!" Pacifica taunted, a triumphant smile spreading across her face.

Penny could no longer contain herself. Raising her voice, she shouted, "You two are impossible! Just let me through ALREADY!"

Wendy pushed a nervous Dib toward the stage, where it was his turn to do karaoke. "Come on, Dib! You've got to try karaoke with us! It'll be fun!" the redhead encouraged him, her excitement palpable.

"I don't know, Wendy… What if I embarrass myself?" the big-headed boy asked nervously, glancing around at the crowd.

"You won't! Just get up there and let loose!" she insisted, flashing him an encouraging smile. With a resigned sigh, Dib finally relented.

"Fine, I'll give it a shot… but just for a few minutes!" He made his way to the stage, his heart racing.

"Oh no…" Gaz, sensing impending disaster, quickly covered her ears as she prepared for the oncoming pain.

"Gaz, why are you doing that?" Dipper asked, looking at the purple-haired girl with confusion. Dib cleared his throat, trying to channel his inner rock star.

He attempted to mimic a high-pitched rock star's voice, belting out, "SPAAAACE BOOOOY!" The room fell silent, and everyone's faces went pale from the sheer cringe of the moment.

"FLYING THROUGH THE STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!" The frequency of his voice was powerful enough to cause a few glasses to develop cracks.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE STOP!" Carl moaned, covering his ears.

"WHAT IN TARNATION!?" Gideon exclaimed, wide-eyed.

"I'LL PAY YOU IF YOU STOP SINGING!" Pacifica shouted, desperately pressing her fingers against her ears.

"MY EARS! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!" Alex cried out, her face contorted in pain. Even Mabel, who was all about self-expression, cringed at the sound, her face wrinkling in discomfort.

Melvin was hitting his head repeatedly against the wall, trying to escape this nightmare.

Wendy winced, glancing at her friends. "Maybe we should have picked a different song…"

"Or MAYBE we shouldn't have let him do karaoke at all!" Tambry snapped at her redheaded friend, frustration evident in her tone.

"I'm a space boy, flying through the stars!" Dib continued, oblivious to the cringe-pain he was causing

Gretchen was the only one enjoying his performance, gazing at him lovingly. "I think it's kind of sweet… It's so unique!"

"Unique is one word for it…" Dipper muttered, facepalming in disbelief.

"Can we get some earplugs, please?" Robbie said, already regretting letting the non-Fallers in.

"I'd rather listen to a goat chew than this!" Nate despaired, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Space boy, I'm reaching for YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU—" Dib's voice soared even higher this time.

In unison, everyone cried out in horror, "NOOOOOOO!" And thus, the true Karaoke Cringe Fest had only just begun.

in a moving 1965 El Diablo convertible, Stan drove while Ford sat in the passenger seat and Soos occupied the back.

"You smell that, Soos? That's freedom! Finally, a day without weirdness. The kids went to the party, and the goat children are staying with Melody for the night. Just us guys!" Stan beamed, a wide grin plastered across his face.

"I like Guys Night too, Mister Pines!" Soos chirped enthusiastically.

"Good times are coming, Soos! Maybe we'll hit a pub and cause a bar fight!" Stan nodded with enthusiasm, his excitement palpable.

"Yes, yes, good times for all," Ford replied absently, gazing out at the horizon, lost in thought. It just didn't make sense to him. He had investigated Professor Membrane's history, and from what he had seen, for an atheist, the man had the chastity belt of an orthodox priest! Even after becoming famous, with literal legions of fans throwing themselves at him, he showed no interest in romantic relationships. So how did he come to have Gaz and Dib? Maybe they were adopted? But why were there no official certifications on Dib and Gaz being adopted? And if they were adopted, then why did Professor Membrane seemingly hide that fact? Were they adopted illegally? That made even less sense for someone of his credibility, resources, fame, and influence. He could easily have obtained the certifications for adopting them, much less hide it. There was a gut feeling telling him that he was missing something important. 'I should get a DNA test to make sure…' he thought.

Stanley, noticing Ford's distant expression, grunted playfully. "Oh, come on, Brainiac, stop mucking around and smile!"

"Fine." Ford forced a mock smile, but it quickly disappeared as something caught his eye.

"YEEH!" Ramirez startled back, wide-eyed.

"WHAT THE H IS THAT!?" Stanley exclaimed, echoing the thoughts that had been racing through his mind ever since Zim and Dib's introduction. He pointed at a Frankenstein-like abomination that looked like Gir, giggling while carrying some strange clothing, and then it thrust itself away even faster.

That was when another bizarre sight came into view.

"GOAT MILKERS!" The trio cried out in surprise as they spotted a floating, granny-like purple creature with Zim's head. Neither of the humans knew how to process the sight of Zim's head on the floating purple body of a fat granny, while Gir enthusiastically waved at them from the back of Granny Zim.

"What by Axolotl's name are you even wearing?" Ford asked, utterly befuddled.

"Eh? Oh, this? THIS is a disguise suit I made in honor of Tallest Purple's glorious vastness!" Granny Zim replied, her voice a strange mix of Zim's and a grandmotherly tone.

"I can see the glorious vastness right now…" Stan blanched, shaking his head in disbelief as he tried to comprehend the absurdity of the situation.

A Year Ago…

Purple gaped in utter scandalization at the monstrous creation that Zim had supposedly made in his image. Meanwhile, Red, upon seeing it, fell into a fit of wheezing laughter, nearly busting his squeedily spooch.

"I never— I never felt so offended in my life!" Purple exclaimed, dumbfounded and utterly insulted by the sight before him.

Even the technicians aboard the Massive were desperately trying to keep a straight face, tears streaming down their cheeks as they muffled their sniggers. They knew that if they laughed aloud, Tallest Purple would likely throw them out of the airlock.

"I've never seen something so accurate in my entire life!" Red laughed so hard that he had to hold his stomach, the pain from his laughter making it difficult to breathe. He pointed at his fellow Tallest with unabashed glee. "Purple, it suits you!"

That was too much for the onlookers. Soon, the entire Massive erupted in laughter, joining Red in his uncontrollable mirth, while Purple gaped like a fish out of water, both offended and bewildered by the cruel hilarity surrounding him.

present...

"Stop pondering and help me get my suit!" Zim commanded, his impatience palpable.

"Huh? You wore a girly uniform?" Stan inquired, his confusion evident.

"IT'S AN IRKING UNIFORM! WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT!?" the Irken screeched in frustration, his voice reaching an ear-splitting pitch.

"Alright, dawg!" Soos cheered, maintaining his friendly demeanor as he gave a thumbs-up.

"GOOD RODENT MAN! I will make sure to send cheese to you as a reward! FIRE!" Zim shouted, his contraption's thrusters beginning to heat up with alarming intensity.

"WAIT! / NOOO!" Ford and Stan exclaimed in alarm, trying to warn him, but their voices were drowned out as the thrusters roared to life just inches from the car's front, launching Zim away at incredible speed.

In an instant, the front of the car erupted in a cloud of smoke and fire as the engine exploded, leaving it practically inoperable. The vehicle jolted and slowed down until it finally came to a stop, the front now mangled.

"Fantastic," Stan stated deadpan, crossing his arms as he surveyed the damage.

The front of the car began to catch fire, and the trio stared at it, their expressions a mix of disbelief and irritation.

Thankfully, the Cringe Fest was soon over.

Now it was Dance Time.

Dipper found himself surrounded by a group of girls eager to dance, and he felt increasingly nervous as they squabbled over him.

"What makes you think you deserve to dance with him!?" Letty snarked, her arms crossed defiantly.

The front of the car began to catch fire, and the trio stared at it, their expressions a mix of disbelief and irritation.

Sara opened her mouth to interject but paused, then sighed. "...I actually don't have a defense for that."

As the girls bickered, Dipper slowly tried to inch away, but just then, someone tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up to see Wendy, amusement dancing in her eyes. "Seems like someone has girl trouble. Wanna dance to get away from them?"

"Yes, please!" Dipper quickly nodded. Normally, he would be nervous about asking Wendy out, but after everything that had happened last summer, he was just desperate to escape the current situation. Wendy found his eagerness amusing, knowing a few guys who would do anything to be in his position.

With a playful gesture, Wendy extended her hand. After a moment of hesitation and a quick glance back at the bickering girls, Dipper took her hand, and they began to dance. Thankfully, this wasn't their first time dancing together; otherwise, he would have been even more anxious in such a crowded party. Gradually, their movements found a rhythm, and Dipper beamed, feeling more at ease.

The girls looked back and groaned in frustration.

"Great, he's dancing with the wild princess laborer," Paz wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"Wow, I'm actually impressed," Zita said, her tone surprisingly thoughtful. Watching Dipper dance with Wendy made her reconsider her own feelings, and she began to wonder if she might not be as straight as she had always thought.

Meanwhile, Dib and Gretchen shared an awkward silence until he decided to break it with a fake cough. "So… pets were not allowed, so I didn't bring the Snarl Beast."

She tilted her head, curiosity lighting up her expression. "You haven't named that adorable blue cat?"

"That adorable fuzzball is the top predator of a death world who can devour a man whole," Dib rolled his eyes. "And the hidden furry monstrosity has basically taken me hostage to be its caretaker."

Gretchen giggled in amusement. "Oh, come on! You never wanted to have a monster pet being a paranormal investigator?"

He shrugged. "Well… yeah, you mentioned it. I used to think how cool it would be to have Mothman."

"I used to want a unicorn, but the real deal really ruined it for me," Gretchen replied with a wistful smile.

"Yeah… those guys are jerks…" Dib reflected, the conversation falling back into an awkward silence. This time, it was Gretchen who broke the ice, nervously playing with her hair.

"So… not gonna ask me to dance?" she asked, a hint of shyness in her voice.

"Sure, sure…" he agreed, and they began to dance with each other. At first, it was awkward, as neither of them had much experience, but they quickly found their rhythm, laughter easing the tension.

Meanwhile, the boys watched Dib and Dipper, bewildered by how the conspiracy nutjob and the nerd managed to score, especially with that girl.

"Just… how…" Poonchy muttered in dejection.

In contrast, Smackey nodded in respect.

"There is hope for me…" Matthew P. Mathers III had an epiphany. Just then, Candy approached him, introducing herself enthusiastically. "Hi! I'm Candy! What's yours?"

Instead of introducing himself, Matthew screeched and ran away, leaving the Korean girl puzzled as she blinked in confusion.

"Did I say something wrong?" she wondered aloud, scratching her head.

Tambry rolled her eyes at the scene, though she then began to wonder why Robbie wasn't there to join in the whining. She looked back and forth, pondering. "Where's Robbie? He hasn't shown up for a quarter hour," she said, narrowing her eyes as she realized he was nowhere to be found. Lee and Nate, who were nearby, shrugged in response.

SLAP!

"OW!" Robbie jolted awake, rubbing his cheek where he'd just been slapped. He blinked to find Zim glaring at him in his human disguise, with Gir beside him wearing a green puppy suit.

"What's this—!?" Robbie exclaimed, still disoriented.

"Where is my uniform?" Zim demanded, grabbing Robbie by his collar and hissing at him.

"What??" Robbie replied, confused.

"The uniform!" Zim let go of him and began to panic, darting back and forth. "Your shabby little SIR unit stole one of my glorious Invader uniforms! Answer NOW!"

In typical Robbie fashion, instead of explaining that he had no idea what Zim was talking about, he snarked, "Great style choice, Bug Boy. Very… girlish."

Zim did not appreciate the comment. "It is not girlish! It is elite Irken fashion, hairless long-nosed monkey!"

SLAP!

"OOF!" Zim backhanded Robbie across the face again, his frustration boiling over. He grabbed Robbie by the collar once more and hissed, "I will order Gir to kiss you!"

Robbie stared blankly, dumbfounded. "...what?"

Zim moved aside, clearing the way for Robbie to see Gir, who was happily munching on a pile of rotten redberries. His mouth was stained a disgusting shade of red, and he looked up at Robbie, giggling. "Hehehe! Come here, sweetheart~"

"WHAT!?!" Robbie's eyes bulged as the realization hit him.

Gir's giggle turned sinister as he slowly walked toward Robbie.

"HELP!" Robbie cried out in panic.

"I had a trashcan buffer recently!" the mad robot announced cheerfully.

Despite the short distance, Gir continued to advance, his movements oddly cheerful.

"NOOOOO!" Robbie screamed in terror, leaning back in his chair as far as he could.

"WE LIVE IN A WORLD OF DUTY! HEHEHEHEHE!" Gir's pupil-less eyes became even more crazed as he got closer.

Suddenly, something attached to Gir, causing him to shut down from a surge of electricity. At the same moment, a dart hit Zim's neck.

Zim yelped, becoming disoriented as he stumbled toward Robbie like a drunken man, pointing a finger at his nose. "Let me give you some advice, long-nosed monkey! Do NoT dIe!" he advised, only to then collapse, falling flat on the floor.

Robbie stared at their unconscious bodies, letting out a tired groan. "What is my life even!? Oh God, take me now…"

BOOOOOOOM!

The whole building shook, and a blinding blue light poured from the windows.

"I WAS KIDDING! I WAS KIDDING!" the emo screeched in panic, managing to free his legs and run fast while still tied to the chair.

he sound of the boom echoed through the party, causing everyone to stop what they were doing as the music faded into silence.

"What the—?" Dipper looked around in confusion.

"Hey, hey!?" Mabel exclaimed, her eyes wide with surprise as suddenly a bright purple energy field surrounded all the windows and doors, sealing everyone inside.

"HEE. HEE. HEE."

A distorted laughter filled the room, a chilling combination of Zim and Dib's voices that sent shivers down everyone's spines. It came from the direction of the disco guy. Just then, the disco guy's hood fell away, revealing a large, shadowy head. To everyone's shock, robotic spider legs extended from the back of his head, lifting him upright like a grotesque Daddy Long Legs. Despite the rapid movement of his mechanical appendages, his neck didn't seem bothered at all.

"Wait, it can't be…" Dib exclaimed, his jaw dropping in disbelief.

"Um… who's this?" Gretchen asked nervously, glancing at her boyfriend.

As the features of the stranger were revealed, gasps filled the room. Faces twisted in disgust, shock, and trepidation. The figure was a deformed humanoid with three fingers, sickly green skin, and a head larger than average. He wore cracked glasses, and a strange contraption sat on the back of his oversized head. His face looked like a horrifying blend of Zim and Dib combined.

"Miss me!?" Zib sneered, a wicked grin spreading across his twisted features.

Notes:

Thank you CRSTO20 for that idea of bringing Zib.