Many thanks to the reviews received so far. I know that the last chapter wasn't particularly Bateslike. But I thought to myself that even John Bates, who always has himself under control, will act differently at some point out of desperation. I would be interested to know how you liked it
When Anna came down the stairs with her bag later that evening, her husband was already waiting for her. She could tell from his face that he wasn't as upset as he had been a few hours ago. "Give me your bag, you don't have to carry it all the way," his voice was calm and loving as always. "That's not necessary," she said cautiously. "I used to wear it too, Anna," he held out her coat. She nodded and put the bag down. He was right. In the past, when she needed a bag to travel with Lady Mary, her husband had always carried it. She let herself be helped into the coat, took her hat and purse, and watched as her husband took the large bag.
They left the main building in silence and made their way home to the cottage in the same silence.
The closer they got, the more nervous Anna became. Again and again she glanced at her husband, who walked next to her without a word. When he arrived at the cottage, he unlocked the door and let her go first. Slowly she entered and was immediately greeted by the familiar smells, which triggered a pleasant feeling in her. The smell of the old wood and stones, the tea they always drank and also a whiff of John's aftershave was in the air. She took a deep breath. John entered behind her and closed the door.
Anna swallowed, put down her purse, put her hat aside and carefully began to undo the buttons of her coat. When she was done, she felt John's hands help out of the coat. Under the unexpected touch, she flinched briefly.
John looked sadly at his wife as she flinched. What had he done?
He hung up her coat and went into the adjoining room. His wife followed him slowly.
John went to the fireplace and lit a fire. It was cold in the cottage. Then the lamp on the table lit, sat down and stretched out his leg. Anna knew that he was always in pain when the weather was like today. In the past, they would have sat on the sofa in front of the fireplace and Anna would have massaged his knee. Now she stood uncertainly in the room.
John watched his wife as she stood lost in the room. In the room that was her home.
"Anna," he spoke softly to her: "Please sit down."
She nodded and sat down in her chair opposite him. Then she stared at the lamp.
John watched her and finally cleared his throat: "Anna, I love you and I want find out why you don't love me anymore. I think we could talk about it, but apparently not."
"But I don ́t..." Anna interjected briefly and then broke off.
Her fingers moved nervously.
"Anna, I don't want to force you to do anything, but I want to know what's going on now. And if we sit here all night. I won't wait any longer. I've waited so long," his voice was still calm but emphatic.
Anna's eyes began to move frantically back and forth: "I will be a good wife to you again John. I... I promise. I will do everything you expect. I... I will try." Her husband looked at her irritated. He didn't want that at all: "Anna, I want to know what's wrong with YOU. Something is wrong." She knew there was no turning back now. Her eyes filled with tears: "If I tell you... then you will despise me," she sniffed and the first tears ran down her cheeks. Startled, John looked at his wife: "Despise? Why... Anna, what's going on. If you don't love me anymore and there is someone else, just tell me."
Anna sobbed: "I should have listened to you... should have believed you... But I was so stupid as to think I knew better... and then when he said these things about you... I knew I was wrong... that you were right... but... but... it was too late...," tears ran down her face as she spoke excitedly.
John looked at her confused the whole time. He didn't understand a word that his wife was trying to tell him about. He stood up to calm her down, but as soon as he had taken a step closer to her, she had jumped up frantically. The chair crashed to the floor and Anna pressed herself against the wall behind her: "Please John... I fought back... screamed he should stop... I fought back... I resisted...", whimpering, she sank to the floor against the wall and held her hands in front of her face.
John stopped as if petrified. What he had just heard needed a moment to be processed, then he flinched in shock and tears came to his eyes. To his poor Anna. How could he have overlooked that? How could he not have recognized that? How could he have insinuated in her mind that she had another man? What a miserable husband he was, not to realize it had really happened.
Anna's whimpering brought him back to the cottage. He looked at his wife, who was still huddling together on the floor. Slowly he walked towards her, the closer he got, the more she pressed herself against the wall and the whimpering became louder. With great horror, he realized what was happening. His wife was afraid of him. Something he had never wanted. But after his appearance at noon today, she couldn't blame her. John thought for a moment, then held on to the edge of the table and slid onto the floor. He knew before he sat that it was a stupid idea, but that didn't matter now. Then he looked at his wife again: "Anna," he whispered with pain in his voice, "Look at me." She did not react. Carefully, John slid closer to her and gently touched her foot. "I fought back... I fought back... Really...," she looked at him in panic. John hastily withdrew his hand and looked helplessly at his wife: "I believe you... Anna... you're afraid of me... I won't hurt you...I... just... I didn't want to talk to you like that... please...I would never hurt you...", his voice broke. He wiped his eyes. Finally, he asked, "I was so stupid and didn't realize how much you were suffering. Why wouldn ́t you tell me?"
"Because I knew the suffering it would bring you. Well, it 's in the open. No more secrets. I'am glad of that at least. No more fear of being found out. Because I'm found out. My shame has nowhere to hide," she looks at him, sobbing, still huddled together.
John looked at her incomprehensibly: "What do you talk of shame? I don't accept that there is any shame in this."
Anna began to cry again: "But I'm spoiled for you and I can never be unspoiled."
John slid even closer to his wife. The pain in his leg showed him that this idea wasn't helpful either, but he ignored it: "My dear. You are not spoiled. You are made higher to me, and holier because of the suffering you have been put through. You are my wife and I have never been prouder, nor love you more than I love you now, at this moment."
Anna couldn't believe it. Carefully she looked at him: "Truly?"
John looked at her lovingly and held out his hand to her: "Truly."
Slowly she reached for his hand. John looked at her for a long time: "Can I slide closer?" Anna hesitated for a moment and then nodded. John pushed the overturned chair aside and slid next to his wife. He grimaced in pain as he moved his leg. Anna looked at him worriedly. Now he was in additional pain because of her. Then he leaned against the wall. He stared at the fireplace on the opposite wall and his mouth moved, but no sounds came out. At last, he turned his head and looked at his wife. He had to know: "Were you afraid that I would hurt you? Beat you?" Anna, who sat next to him with a tear-soaked face and had also looked into the flames of the fireplace, lowered her head: "It would be your right." John drew in a sharp breath: "My right? Anna and now be honest, have you ever been worried since our marriage that I would beat you for something because it would be my right? Did you..." he paused briefly and swallowed: "Have you ever done things because you thought you had to do them because I wanted them to? Because you were afraid of how I would react otherwise? Please tell me." He was afraid of her answer.
Anna, however, shook her head: "No, I never had that. But now... You warned me... You told me that you don't like it," again she began to sob: "I didn't take it seriously, I didn't take you seriously. And that's my punishment now." "No, he'll get his punishment, it was Greene, or," John's eyes sparkled. In panic, Anna looked at her husband: "No John, please, please, don't hurt him. Please. They will lock you up and hang you. Please promise me. Please. John, please, promise me." The dark-haired man looked desperately at his wife. He wanted to kill him, tear him to pieces, beat him to death. But she was right. Then he would be hanged, and he could not do that to his Anna. Finally, he nodded, "I won't do anything. I promise." Anna nodded gratefully.