Original Ao3 chapter summary:

Okay so I lied! This is the final update for the year! Sorry, I just realized that in-universe and real life times were lining up and I could write a tiny little Christmas thing, so I went for it. :D Hope you enjoy it!

Thus one's set after HW chapter 4!

"Oh!" Haurchefant looked up as they passed under a string of small lantern lights. There were several of them, the array of colored glass creating the impression of rainbow flames, suspended along low hanging lines across the streets of the Jeweled Crozier markets, "Is it that time of year already?"

Joker awkwardly peered around the assortment of bags bundled in his arms— most of them bearing items purchased on behalf of Tataru while she busied herself with her new job waitressing at the Forgotten Knight. Not that Joker minded. Having been friends with Ann Takamaki for so many years, he knew how to juggle a good many shopping bags, thank you. But what he saw ahead nearly caused him to lose his carefully calculated grip, a length of frilly lace unrolling and spilling out of the pile. ("For a surprise!" He'd told a curious Haurchefant who had accompanied him on today's uncharacteristically leisurely outing, a mischievous glint in his eyes as they'd browsed the stores).

For somehow, all the way in another world, was Joker seeing a Christmas tree.

It was a marvelous specimen of a pine, rising tall and proud in the central market plaza, its top already dusted in layers of falling snow. Several men were crowded around it, awkwardly balancing on ladders. They trailed more linked lights behind them, calculating exactly where to string the lanterns on the broad branches alongside an assortment of patterned baubles. Several of their fellow shoppers eagerly watched on, the children of the Pillars especially excited as they waved their hands bundled in thick mittens.

Haurchefant's pleased smile broadened into a familiarly toothy grin. He threw out his arms, "I was worried that perhaps there would be no festivities this year, given everything of late. I should be glad to be proven so wrong! But I suppose times of strife are when we should seek cheer all the more, hm?"

An astonished Joker nodded idly. He allowed his eyes to follow the length of the tree, up to the golden ornamental star perched at the very top. He blinked at it for a good several seconds, grappling with a sudden hollow pang in his chest that threatened to claw up his throat.

"What… What's all this?" He said, sounding a bit more breathless than he meant to.

Haurchefant looked surprised, "You are unfamiliar with the Starlight Celebration?" He asked, "Why, 'tis only the most joyful holiday of the year! A winter festival focused upon hearty foods, family and the giving of gifts to loved ones! Forgive me— I had thought you already aware. With how naturally you speak the common tongue, I had presumed you were raised somewhere in Eorzea."

Joker pulled a face. He freed a hand from the tangle of bags to wave it, "It's… complicated. But no, I'm… from pretty far away, actually. Really far." He added, the slightest huff of weary laughter in his voice.

Haurchefant nodded, probably concluding— as most people here would and so often did— that he was recently arrived from Doma, or somewhere else in the Far East. A misconception Joker never bothered to correct. It served him rather well, after all. Provided a good cover for the depths of his unusual ignorance.

"I see. And do they not have such celebrations in your homeland?"

Well that was just the thing, wasn't it?

"There's… something similar. Suspiciously close, actually." Joker added, frowning thoughtfully.

Call it whatever you wanted, but this was Christmas, no doubt about it. He thought back to his campsite conversation with G'raha during the Crystal Tower expedition, suppressing another brief burst of heartache at that thought now. The excited scholar had proposed a rather interesting idea when Joker had spoken of the large amount of overlap in their respective ancient mythologies— some theory about a universal origin point that connected both this world and that of Earth. Joker hadn't put too much stock in it, fascinating though the concept was. But with each repeat too-much-of-a-coincidence he encountered between here and there, it was actually looking more and more likely.

Maybe one day he'd figure out what it all meant. He'd like to. But there was just so much else happening lately. And securing proper shelter for Alphinaud and Tataru had come first, which meant ingratiating himself as a useful little weapon among Ishgard's elite.

His whirling mind must have shown on his face, because Haurchefant knelt down into it. Pressed a gloved hand gently on top of Joker's fluffy head— very lightly. Testing his boundaries, most likely. And wisely, given how… volatile Joker knew he had been lately.

But he didn't mind. Joker never seemed to mind when it was Haurchefant. He let himself lean surreptitiously into his touch, an unspoken acknowledgement that it was fine. Haurchefant's eyes twinkled.

"If it should please you, then perhaps we could spare a moment to peruse the venue!" He offered, lifting his head to nod at the spate of pop-up stalls already beginning to display their seasonal wares front-and-center, eager to capture the crowd, "It may surprise you to learn that Ishgard is the originator of the holiday— there will be no finer place to take in the milieu and perhaps spy something familiar to what you know."

And Joker was very much up for it. Shifting his hold on his shopping bags, he and Haurchefant took to strolling the now buzzing plaza. It wasn't a whole lot yet— it was still early days, and they weren't even entirely finished with the set-up. But still, Joker found it invigorating. The lights twinkled most invitingly, spots of color catching on the drifting flakes of snow as the evening crept in. The smell of pine needles and baking pies, the excited murmurs of children pulling on their exasperated parents' coatsleeves… It was easily the most joyful Joker had seen the streets of Ishgard since his arrival.

He'd never been particularly crazy about Christmas back home. The atmosphere had always been enjoyable, in a disconnected sort of way. But prior to his probation, it had just been another day– albeit one he was forced to spend more in the presence of his parents than usual, for better or worse. Then 2016's had been… something. He still wasn't entirely sure which version of events had really happened, Maruki's false reality and his third arrest, having willingly turned himself in to the police to ensure Shido's conviction, overlaid bizarrely in his memories in a way that made his head hurt to think about. But one thing was sure– Ren had single-handedly turned what should've been a celebratory occasion for Sojiro and the Phantom Thieves into one hell of a bummer.

As for the year after that… Well, that had been nice. But lonelier than he would've liked. With the gang scattered to the winds again after their (equally complicated and memorable) reunion over the previous summer, they hadn't quite been able to get everyone together in Leblanc again for the holidays. Still a great time, still absolutely worth the long drive into Tokyo. He had loved every moment of it. But it simply wasn't the same without everyone.

And now this year's? Heh. Well…

He looked to the cobblestones beneath his feet, sucking in a cold breath that stung at his aching chest. Let himself just focus instead on the tentative thread of excitement rising almost reluctantly among the crowd, the people of the bleak city not entirely sure if they should allow themselves the luxury of a festive mood under the weight of everything.

Joker completely understood the sentiment.

He caught Haurchefant's concerned frown from the corner of his eyes. Cast his gaze about for something to distract himself with.

And a diversionary subject arrived in the often so effective form of sweet, sweet alcohol.

"Hey, how about that!" Joker chirped, pointing at a stand bearing a hefty wooden cask. The front was lined with a series of invitingly steaming mugs, each holding a tantalizingly golden liquid inside, "What kind of drinks are those?"

Haurchefant peered closer, "That would seem to be mulled mead, served hot for the occasion. A most delightful concoction at this time of year. Have you ever tried some, my friend?" At the shake of Joker's head, Haurchefant expression grew a touch sly, "Then do allow me to treat you to a glass or two. 'Tis the season, after all!"

Joker was quite eager for this brand of diversion— especially since it wasn't red wine. He gave a nod, laughing a little as he set his bags aside, "Sure, sure. Why the hells not?"

The two settled on a low wall by the stairs, the radiating heat from the mugs so pleasantly warm in their hands. Joker took an excited sip. The mead was predictably sweet, with a touch of dryness. Its intensity was offset by a delightful tang of herbs and spices, including a healthy dash of cinnamon and ginger that soothed his throat with each swallow. As was surely by design, it all combined to curl so pleasantly warm in his stomach, quickly spreading through the rest of him and chasing away the seeping winter chill.

Haurchefant slowly nursed his own steaming mug, quiet amusement evident as he studied Joker's reactions. The color of the lantern lights intensified as the sun sank further behind the cradling mountain range, dyeing the scene in a myriad of hues.

When he was more than halfway through his mead, Joker found himself feeling a little surprised at his own good mood. This was… nice. Just sitting in pleasant company like this, feeling warm and more or less safe, decently close to content. Like quiet evenings at Leblanc, coffee in hand, watching the rain streak down the café windows.

The festive atmosphere mixed with the alcohol to lighten his head, thoughts sluggishly tumbling. He bet Yda and P'molminn would've been all over this, if… if they were here. If any of them were. He knew Ryuji and Ann would have been running all about, trying to make sure they visited each and every store, poor Morgana dragged helplessly with them from a bag slung over Ann's shoulder… Oh! Since it was equivalent to December, that would officially make Haru of legal drinking age in Japan now, wouldn't it? She would absolutely be ready to celebrate that fact, sitting right across from Ren, just as eager to sample the local flavors. Makoto would be chastising Ren for underage drinking if she saw him now, but she probably wouldn't actually try to stop him…

Thancred and Moenbryda would surely join in for the simple purpose of getting properly sloshed. And Papalymo too, though he'd at least drink more responsibly. Futaba would be trailing behind Yusuke as he came strolling towards them with the strangest trinket he could find as a souvenir— possibly something living, if the lobster incident was any indication. Maybe Y'shtola would join him. They both had rather esoteric tastes. Would they get along, or possibly butt heads? Maybe both. And, and…

Joker tossed back the rest of the drink, eyes screwed shut against the sudden flood of spices tickling his throat. Haurchefant slapped his back as he coughed.

And after he set his glass down, shaking his head, did Joker promptly stand up and call out to the vendor for another round.

Despite Haurchefant's instance, Joker paid for the next two. And when they were seated again did the kindly knight take the opportunity to occupy Joker's brain for a bit, sharing a few family stories of his own. Apparently one previous Starlight, when all three Fortemps boys were small, Emmanellain had tried to be the first down these very stairs and had rushed headlong ahead of his brothers, only to trip and fall flat on his face.

"…The lad had only sustained a grazed knee, but he'd blubbered so hard that the Count was forced to carry him through the markets upon his back." Haurchefant finished, smiling fondly into the golden depths of his mead, the lantern light spilling extra colors across the surface, "A knock to Emmanellain's pride for sure. But with how much he possesses, you can imagine it did little to keep him down."

And Joker was a little embarrassed to say he broke out into a fit of giggles at that, tipping his now quite dizzy head back as his warmed stomach lurched with laughter.

The act caused him to peer directly into Haurchefant's half-lidded eyes, bright with nostalgia and affection. And now Joker was looking at him properly, and— Gods… he was especially handsome under this lighting. The subsurface scattering reddening the tips of his long ears. The slip of backlighting tracing his nose, leading Joker's eyes down to the dip in his Cupid's bow-shaped upper lip… He felt his mouth rapidly dry out, now extremely aware of his own lips.

…Fuck, he was officially properly tipsy, wasn't he? Better… better rein (hehe) it in. Yeah, yeah.

Joker broke the moment by shifting forward and sitting himself upright, face slightly flushed. He took a long, long drink.

"Y'know, there is one Christmasy thing I haven't seen yet!" Joker said with a gasp, waving his mug of mead as he withdrew it from his face, "You mentioned gifts… Any chance they come courtesy of a jolly old guy in a bright red suit?"

Huarchefant perked up, "Oh, you are familiar with the Saint of Nymeia?"

And Joker raised an eyebrow as Huarchefant elaborated, a strange sinking feeling replacing the giddy warmth in his stomach, "A delightfully kind-hearted old man delivering gifts to children whilst adorned in cheery scarlet! A folkloric amalgam of several historical figures, it's believed. Most likely based around the knights who gave shelter to orphans during the early years of the Dragonsong War."

"I don't suppose he has a beard?" Joker tried to ask lightly, though there were the beginnings of a croak to his voice.

"Why, yes!" Haurchefant smiled, "A full, fluffy white beard like the very snow itself, and a hearty, booming laugh!"

Joker swallowed, "Does he… does he have a cap…?" He asked, miming the shape of a certain iconic headwear with his hand above his head.

"Indeed! A kind of long camauro, tipped with a delightful pom-pom. How queer— I had not realized the specifics of Ishgardian holiday iconography had traveled so far beyond the borders of Aldenard."

Joker stared for several silent seconds, quietly horrified.

"Nope!" He cried suddenly, putting his hands over his ears and startling Haurchefant, "No, no, nuh-uh, that's way too similar! This is just… weird! There's some cognitive bullshit going on here, I know it!"

He curled in on himself, his mead-loosened tongue murmuring a string of conspiratorial accusations about 'Primal Santas' and 'Manta-trademarked corporate takeover of the collective human subconscious'.

Though Huarchefant was thoroughly perplexed over why the thought of encountering a generous, jolly old man would distress him so, he again pet encouragingly at Joker's back, soothingly insisting that they didn't have to speak with anyone dressing as saints if he was uncomfortable.

Joker agreed that was for the best.

"Ta-da!"

With his arms full, Joker was forced to practically kick in the door to Tataru's inn room at the Forgotten Knight, where the exhausted Lalafell was putting up her feet at the end of a long shift of mollifying mournful drunks. She gasped in awe at the lumpy shape of bundled fabric that lumbered towards her, hands upon her cheeks.

"Oooh, quite the haul!" She said, standing up to take some of the smaller bags from him. She ran her hands over a length of silk, eyes sparkling, "Are all the components for 'Operation Maidwatch' ready, then?"

"You know it," Joker replied with a grin, setting the rest upon a nearby table. He began to rummage inside them, searching for a certain object at the bottom, "And I got you a little something extra, too."

And then Tataru was blinking into a felt face as Joker pressed a hand-crafted pink Chocobo plush into her's.

"Oh, how adorable!" She cooed, bringing its little button eyes up to her sparkling green ones, "I love it! But whyever did you trouble yourself…?"

"It's a Starlight gift!" Joker countered smugly, "I got a blue one for Alphinaud, but I think I'll just leave it on his pillow for when he gets back— he's probably at the age where he thinks he's too cool for toys."

"Oh! Is it truly that time?" Tataru gasped, hugging the plush against her chest. Much like Haurchefant, it seemed all the recent happenings had thoroughly driven the date from her mind, "To think you'd go Starlight shopping already— and without me! How unfair!" She pouted, puffing out her chubby cheeks, "Mark my words: I'm going to get you the most wonderful gift I can find in return!"

Joker quickly waved his now empty hands at her, "No, you don't have to—"

"It's not up for argument, silly boy!" Tataru countered, standing upon her chair to better reach him, before bopping his nose with the Chocobo's beak, "To start with, I need to find one of these delightful little friends that matches your Becky! Did you see any in black?"

They spent the remainder of the evening going through the rest of Joker's purchases, Tataru admiring the selection of fabrics, her mind already in overdrive as she mentally put all the elements together. She pulled back from the disassembled parts of a frightfully frilly dress with a satisfied nod, before peering outside the dark window.

"You know, I'd say there's still time to squeeze in dessert… I shall have to bake us all some traditional Starlight cookies! What shape do you like best? Snowmen? Spriggans? Perhaps a reliably classic star?"

"Stars, aye." Joker agreed from where he was spreading a pair of lacy stockings across the floor, smiling, "Though Spriggans sound fun too… Do you usually ice these types? Can I try it?"

Tataru laughed at his enthusiasm, swatting at him as she made to shuffle to the kitchens, "Of course— I wouldn't dream of depriving us of your artistic talents. Hold on, let me see if we have what I need to dye the frosting in reds…"

Original Ao3 endnotes:

WoL x Haurchefant shippers, come get ya food! (Joker is canonically into people older than himself, what can i say?)

So we all know Santa Claus wears red because of a crazily successful Coca-Cola marketing campaign, right? The Persona universe has a whole lot of funny equivalents for many kinds of real world drink brands, but no direct 1-to-1 for Coke (yet anyway), so I went with Manta (the knock-off Fanta) because… because Coke owns Fanta, I guess? I dunno, I made do!

Bonus sketch: Joker and Tataru, on an adventure through Hell's Lid!

Once again, I'd love to wish you all a lovely Christmas and New Years if you're celebrating! 3 Thank you again!

(Nobody tell Joker the Saint of Nymeia is usually played by Godbert Manderville)