Hello all! Thank you to my new followers and those who had made the time to favourite my story and reviewed, it really means a lot to me! Sorry for the delay I have been super busy with work but rest assured I am back! I hope you still enjoy and please review!

I stared at the ceiling again, recalling the nights events. It seemed there were only two ways I could sleep at night; I would either cry myself to sleep at night, for my pain, the pain I caused my sweet Jacob, or depressed, not feeling anything but exhaustion. Edward wanted to stay with me at night, but I couldn't allow him in my bed, I couldn't, I know it didn't make sense as once upon a time I would have given anything for his keen embrace in my bed but now? I felt like this bed was now Jacob's, it belonged to him. Now when I think about those times of my nightmares, how Jacob would hold me in his arms, would sing me a lullaby to get me to sleep, how I would listen to his steady heartbeat that would lull me to sleep, or how I would listen to his stories, his laugh as he would talk to me about the pack and ideas of opening his own mechanic shop with Quill and Embry, the rise of his chest and the warmth, oh I missed it. This bed belonged to him now, I didn't feel like it was Edwards.

Now my sun was gone, my warmth, gone, there was a time I would have given anything in this world for my Edward, but now at the expense of my Jacob, I felt so hollow, so cold. I knew Edward grew suspicious, there were many questions he would ask me that I just didn't feel like answering, the only person I felt like talking honestly and freely to was Jacob. I stared at my bedside table, the photos I had of us, when we were together, our happiness and smiles, my dreamcatcher which hung above my bed, how it was supposed to catch bad dreams, if only he knew that it was he who guarded me from my nightmares.

I felt a wave of sickness come over me as I stared at the pictures, sick with worry? Sick with sadness or sick from the chicken parmi Esme made for me tonight. I tossed and turned to gain some sleep but to no avail, finally I felt myself drift off to sleep as I played with my bracelet, I must have been tired as I thought I heard howling in the distance.

I awoke tired and feeling drained which was surprising as I did get a thorough nights sleep. I brushed my hair getting ready for work after my shower, my breakfast I quickly ate one slice of buttered toast as I still felt queasy from the night before and scoffed a quick sip of coffee. I checked the clock "damn! Nearly 9am, running late!"

I ran outside skipping the steps before I slid on the slippery pavement landing on my backside "ow!" I tried to get up before I felt hand lift me up, Edward. Edward leaned over as he helped me up, his dark denim jeans matched perfectly with a grey sweater, though many would complain of the cold here in Forks as the light drizzle came down, Edward seemed immune to it.

"Careful Bella" he said as he gently lifted me, he brushed off the dirt on my green jacket as I wiped the dirt off my jeans "I'm ok just slipped on this rain" I said as I smiled gently, I stood staring at him, pausing with awkward silence as he stood there, so perfect. "I was thinking later you could join us again for dinner tonight, Alice is particularly excited to show you ideas of wedding dresses picked out from magazines and wants to discuss a seating arrangement?" He smiled as I hopped into my car as he stood opening the door "oh that's sounds great Edward it really does, but I thought I would just have a Charlie night tonight if that's ok?" He looked at me, his brows pinched as he stared at the ground, "it's just that, we spent last night together and I have been to your house a couple of nights this week already, it's just that I think it would be nice to spend time with Charlie that's all, he hasn't seen me much since you got back" there was an awkward silence before I realised what I said, Edward stood silently as he looked down at the ground "I'm just saying, he deserves time too, he was there a lot for me" I said as he nodded in silence, "ok well, let me know when you have finished work ok, and be careful on the roads in the rain" he said as he closed my door as I put my seat belt on. In that moment as I watched him walk away I felt bad but another part of me wanted solace in my own company with my thoughts and feelings, I shook my head as I started my engine, my beloved car was acting up but I couldn't call my Jacob to come and fix it, I would have to go to a local mechanic to get it fixed knowing it would cost me. I was running late as it was and drove out of the driveway to work already wanting my day to be finished.

FLASHBACK

I skipped down the stairs as I approached my truck, the air was fresh and crisp, the trees green and earth was scattered with beautiful golden leaves, Jacob stood next to my truck as he inspected the engine, he slammed the hood to the bonnet down before smiling at me, he stood tall as his muscles bulged from his long black v neck top, his jeans had a couple of grease marks on it but I didn't care, he was my Jacob. He picked me up in a big hug swinging me around as I hugged him back embracing his warmth smile, "What are you doing to my truck?" I asked smiling, he looked at it inspecting again as he wiped his hands of grease "there's a couple of things I would like to fix sometime" he smiled as I shook my head "well tell me what it is and how much I need to pay you at least Jake for all the work you do? The parts are expensive" he shook his head laughing "if you want to pay me, you can start packing your bags!" I looked at him quizzically as we walked to my truck as he opened the door for me as I sat in, smiling as he ran around to the drivers seat. This had became a routine for me and Jacob, our days together spent, either at Forks or La Push or simply in his garage, Jacob was more than my friend, he was, he was my Jacob. He was the reason I smiled, he was the excitement I had when I woke up in the morning as I couldn't wait to see him, he was the calm to my storm. It was the little things I noticed about him, he smiled etched across his face, the way his hair would come across in the breeze, how he smelt of salt, earth and the forest. Jacob started the engine as he drove us to the beach at La Push "bag what am I packing for?" I giggled as he drove "I spoke to Charlie and I told him I am taking you away for your birthday camping!"

"Camping? You really trust me to be out camping?" I exclaimed as I enjoyed the breeze from the open window "I will freeze out there!" Jacob giggled as he drove "you forget I am a walking heater, courtesy of being a wolf so that is taken care of" he smiled as he focused on the road "I will get lost!" Jacob smiled as he looked at me, "again benefits of being a wolf, my keen sense of smell and direction so we are safe. And besides I told Charlie, so he doesn't worry and it's your birthday".

The age issue still bothered me, I felt a twinge and remembered Edward and my age getting older. I felt Jacob's warm smile at me "really this is too much Jacob, we don't have to and besides I hear the weather is going to be terrible!" I said "well then we better get hurrying so we can set up!" I couldn't be angry at him, he looked so excited. As we drove to La Push, Jacob kept on looking at me smiling "ok Jake you got to stop this now, I get the feeling you know something I don't!" I smiled as he drove along, him grinning from ear to ear "well what can I say, I save the best to last" he smiled as he parked the car. "Are you sure we should be travelling what with the whole Victoria situation? Her about there?" I asked concerned as I looked at Jacob, Jacob shook his head as he looked at the road driving "believe me, the red head leech has more of an issue to be scared especially with me, the pack is out there patrolling Bells, believe me you are more than safe" he smiled at me. I did see a wave of seriousness on his face, he took my safety so seriously, he cared for me so much, I really didn't deserve him sometimes, he was so caring, always there for me.

As we arrived at the beach, Jacob, quickly got out as he ran around to open the door before helping me out, we walked and sat on our log as we talked and talked; about the pack, Jacobs thoughts on Sam, Paul. Paul seemed to irritate me, he was too aggressive I thought but I never mentioned to Jacob, I didn't want to say anything detrimental about his brothers, I like Quil though, we talked about our fathers and how Charlie was over at Billy's, we continued walking and watching the waves crash and the sun, the cool breeze as we sat on our log, the dark clouds gathering as the air picked up cool, in that moment I never wanted to leave, I just wanted to be, left alone with my Jacob.

PRESENT

I drove on the roads as I remembered Jacob, remembering that perfect day. As I drove down the street towards work, I felt the tears well up and fall silently down my cheek.

JACOBS POV

I stood over the car fixing in my garage, work was coming in now. Cash was getting better as I took on more jobs and word of mouth, the more jobs I took and the more work I did it seemed to control and keep my mind busy from the pain, the pain of it all. Emotions were still high between me and the pack after the recent outburst, I still had not gone near them to speak of it, right now I wanted my solace and thoughts. My head turned as I heard the approaching footsteps and smelt the familiar scent, Sam.

Sam stood at the door, his jeans and brown tank top, the cold air never impacting either Jacob or Sam as they ran hot. "We need to talk Jacob" he sternly said as he stood staring down, I rolled my eyes turning away to resume my work on Mrs Jamison's car "nothing to talk about Sam" "you're being reckless Jacob, first the other night attacking your brother when he was there for you, and now you're still going to Bella's house at night?!" I stopped at this, damn this mental sharing! "I know what you're doing, you sit all night outside her window in the Forest hiding in your wolf form, if the Cullen boy is there he is going to want to fight you and then your brothers are gonna have to get involved to back you up and then we will have a Vampire and Wolf fight on us!" Sam said as he exclaimed annoyed. I dropped my tools as I turned to face him, trying to hold my anger "Look, I don't trust him, I don't trust him around her, he could hurt her!" I exclaimed in anger as I stood facing Sam "she's not our concern right now and besides, the treaty is in place, if anything happens fine but nothing has happened!" I shook my head as I walked off "If you really were concerned about them, them you would be doing the EXACT same thing as I was! They are Vampires!" I said as I threw my tools on the ground, Sam stood facing me angrily as he quietly said "don't lie to us Jacob, don't pretend your concerned about the Vampires as a whole, your more concerned about Edward with Bella!" I threw the spanner at the window as it smashed "ENOUGH JACOB! IM ORDERING YOU STOP NOW! IM NOT HAVING A ESCALATION FIGHT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T REIGN YOUR FEELINGS IN!" Sam turned around walking away as I felt my hand shaking, the urge to break right now was pumping in my veins as I felt the rumble in my chest and growl.

Before I knew it, I allowed the beast within to consume as I changed to my wolf form as I ran into the woods.

BELLAS POV

I finished work and walked back to my truck, hopping into the car I relished getting home and making macaroni cheese which I had a hankering for, cheddar cheese all melted yum! I relaxed at home waiting for Charlie to get home, dinner was already ready when he got in as I brought the baking dish out of the oven and inhaled the cheesy goodness. I made a small salad for us as we sat at the dinner table, Charlie looked exhausted as he sat relaxed in his seat "looks and smells good Bella! You didn't have to make all of this I could have ordered us a pizza" I chuckled as I watched Charlie eat with big mouthfuls "we give enough business to the pizza man Dad, some home cooking is good for a change" he smiled as we ate together, I enjoyed these moments, Charlie had seen me go through the worst point of my life, without him and Jacob, I don't know how I would have made it, I enjoyed these moments with my Dad. "so what have you got planned for the rest of the week Bells?" Charlie asked as he took a swig of his beer "hm, I am looking at some wedding stuff with Alice, Esme has been really helpful, Edward will be coming over this week I think he wants to take me to dinner" he nodded as he looked at me "and do you have any time for Jacob?" he asked as I looked down "he's hurting kid, me and Billy talk. Kid doesn't talk to me but the last time I saw him, I don't know maybe you should try again in reaching out" he asked as he looked at me, concerned. I felt myself wince with pain in my heart, another reminder of my loss "I've tried Dad I've tried so hard but everytime… Jacob doesn't want me, ok. You think it doesn't hurt me, that I don't miss him everyday! I exclaimed defensively looking at Charlie, Charlie put his hands up defensively as he stared at me "I know kid, I know you are hurting, which is why it would be good to see him to, I don't know be friends again." I looked down, "friends" that term. "I just remember everytime you were with him you were smiling, you were laughing, you got back to being Bella again and now" he leaned back taking another swig "Edward comes back and you are stressed again, you don't smile around him, it's not the same and I don't forget or forgive what he put you through, I'm just saying kiddo, don't give up, just continue to try with Jacob, I know he's hurting as much as you are" Charlie said, I know he meant it reassuringly, he was concerned for both of us as I helped another spoonful in my mouth "I will say this kid though your appetite has changed! That's your second helping! Eating around Jacob so much rubbed off on you!" I smiled as I scrapped my plate "yeah just hungry I guess" Charlie got up helping clean the table "nothing wrong there, I'm glad!"

I washed the dishes with Charlie before he went to the loungeroom to watch the baseball game, my sweet tooth kicked in before I picked a banana out the fruit bowl and ate it before going to bed wishing Dad goodnight. After my shower I relaxed in my comfy pj's before opening up my bedroom window a bit, it must have been my imagination, maybe just in my dreams but I swear sometimes I thought I could hear a wolf howling. I relaxed in my bed bringing the bedcovers up to me as I stared at the pictures next to my bed:" once upon a time these pictures belonged of me and Edward, now I looked at pictures of myself and Jacob. The closest I could to him.

Edwards POV

It broke my heart into pieces what I did to my Bella, I thought leaving her was the best, that she would be safe, safe from me, thinking she would have a future. I just didn't think of the pain I would inflict upon myself as I felt myself tormented everyday for those months, the distance, the emptiness and despair. When Bella saved me from the Volturi I thought we could resume our love, I knew it would take time to heal the broken bond but knew our love was strong enough to withstand anything. But the coldness I felt when I returned to Forks, the emptiness and void was still there as I felt my Bella more distance than before. I saw her deep in her thoughts as it frustrated me that I couldn't read what she was thinking, Alice had informed me that there were dark spots in Bella's future, she couldn't see clearly which bothered me even more, I saw her despair and ache over her loss of Jacob, damn that mutt! Was I glad he protected my Bella for all the time I was gone, completely, but the hold he had on her. I would watch as she stared out the window, longing for him, how she gripped her phone tightly at her side as waiting for him to respond, her twitches in her sleep as she laid restless, the only clarity I could get was from Jasper. I walked into the lounge area, Jasper watched tv as Alice laid across his lap looking through Vogue, grey jumper with navy pants and socks on her feet as Jasper sat in his grey v neck sweater and jeans as they sat in silence enjoying each other's company, as a couple should. I envied them.

"You can tell me, what is she feeling" I asked as Jasper, they both looked up and looked at each other, obviously this was something that had been discussed between themselves. Jasper straightened himself as he looked at me "Edward, I can't tell you anything that Alice hasn't already told you" he said calmly. I became agitated at his response, impatient as I just wanted an answer "but you can feel emotions, you can manipulate, tell me!" I exclaimed as I looked at him pleadingly "Jasper stared at Alice as she sat on the lounge, concerned. Jasper looked at me directly as he answered "I feel… pain, mourning, anxiety, stress, it's like she's grieving Edward" I stared at the ground, Jasper confirming what I felt deep down, I nodded and thanked him before turning to leave the room "Edward" Jasper said as I stopped and turned around.

"I fear she's not sad because she's lost a friend, the emotions she's feeling, it's grief. It's like someone who has lost a mate. She's mourning and I fear this runs deeper. Nobody knows Bella's thoughts but Bella, I'm afraid this is something we can't help with" I turned on my heels before leaving the room in silence, I had left my Bella for the sake of her future. But I feared now I had lost her in mine.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy and I promise not to take so long in posting! More suspenseful chapters are coming!