086 - The Snow-White Pirate Princess and the Pitch-Black Feral Lion


Mashu Kyrielight

The silence is deafening after Olga's final spell, Mashu can feel the tension slowly rise around her as Drake-san's state becomes clear and her body slowly starts tilting over. It's as if each and every single pirate in this place was expecting the woman to suddenly recover at the last moment to reveal it was all a big joke.

That is, until her face slams against the board floor with a noise that echoes around the eerily quiet hall.

Looking around, Mashu notices that everyone's staring incredulously at where the fearsome Captain Drake-san, the one they had been confidently betting on, now lies unconscious at the feet of a triumphant Olga. Their expectations and worldview have just been shattered, because they underestimated Mashu's friend. And that… that feels a little bit good, maybe.

But drunk pirates are apparently resilient creatures, or maybe their brains are too dulled by the alcohol to take a serious blow, because they don't take long to recover and start cheering for the winner.

Mashu feels a small smile form on her lips as she hurries to make a note about the duel in their logbook, basking in the cheerful atmosphere all around her at the same time.

"Captain Fluffy-White!"
"The Fearsome White Sheep!"
"The Starbound Menace!"
"Step on me, baby!"

"Who said that!?"

"I did, what're you gonna do about it?"

"How about I rearrange your ugly mug into a treasure map?"

"Hah! Come at me, brat!"

… And then Haku-Senpai jumped at a burly pirate that was three times her size and about five times her weight, and indeed proceeded to rearrange his facial features through a fascinating process involving little to no surgery, but a lot of punching. Ten minutes later, they were drinking beer together and trying to compose a song about the fearsome White Sheep of the Stars, captain of the fluffiest ship in Tortuga, and how she punched a dragon in the eye and stole his shit.

The lyrics were terrible, but Mashu dutifully wrote them down in the logbook for future reference.

"Looks like you guys are having fun over there." A familiar voice draws Mashu's attention to the side.

There, on top of a table because it was the only free space around, stand two holographic figures.

"Ah, Doctor, Vinci-san." She greets them. "We are having a pirate party."

"The pirate hats clued me in, yes." The Doctor smiles. "That and the loud, out-of-tune singing. And the alcohol. And the violence. And the flying furniture. And the gunshots."

"That's a pirate party for you." Vinci-san nods in agreement. "This is a once in a lifetime experience, so make sure to treasure the memories, Mashu-chan!"

She opens her mouth to reply that she's planning to do exactly that when the crowds part and a very flustered Olga that's trying very hard to pretend she's angry makes her way up to them. Once she does, she gives the crowds behind her a considering glance before visibly dismissing whatever she was thinking about to plop herself on a chair and pouring herself a glass from a bottle that was lying around on the table.

And then Olga empties the glass in a single swig like it was nothing. Like a real pirate!

"Ah, no, this thing burns like fire down the throat." Olga corrects her when she goes to write it down in the logbook. "I had to cheat with self-hypnosis so I wouldn't have a coughing fit."

Oh, that's a bit disappointing. But being tricky is a very pirate thing, too!

"Still, I can't believe I won that duel!" Olga continues with a slightly giddy smile on her lips, pouring herself another glass. "How drunk does a Servant need to be, to lose to me?"

"I'm pretty sure she should've won even if she was black out drunk." The Doctor points out sheepishly. "No offense."

"Some taken. I won, after all." Olga huffs. "Even if I have no idea how."

"That might be because Drake-san is not a proper Servant." Vinci-san pipes in, producing some holographic screens for Olga to examine that go right over Mashu's head. "Rather, she's a mortal human, elevated to Servant-like levels through the power of the Holy Grail."

"Oh, that explains how she managed to get drunk in the first place." Olga comments idly, now taking little sips from the glass in a very un-pirate-ish way. "I thought it might be a Personal Skill."

Mashu grabs the bottle and takes a sniff before making a face of disgust. Maybe Olga had the right idea. Or maybe the right idea would be to just burn it all down.

"You never know with pirates." Vinci-san nods in agreement. "But… Oh, she's waking up."

Everyone's attention goes to Drake-san's still collapsed form. First her hands twitch, then they snake towards where her guns had been dropped on the floor and grab the both of them with unerring accuracy before she jumps back to her feet and into a fighting stance. Finally, she blinks in confusion, takes a glance around her and drops the stance to let out a hearty cackle instead.

"Well, shiver me timbers! I went and lost!" She bellows with a wide smile on her face. "The little sheep truly has some fangs!"

All around the bar, the pirates pause their drinking, their -horribly off tune- singing and their brawling to raise their drinks and let out another cheer, making way for Drake-san as she walks up to them to join their table at the table.

"Good fight." She nods at Olga, grabbing a familiar bottle from somewhere and taking a swig straight from it. "I like your style."

It takes Mashu a moment to realize it's the same bottle she was holding a moment ago. Confusedly looking down, she notes that her hand is now empty. Sleight of hand too!? Pirates are amazing!

"Well, I don't like you." Olga huffs, looking unimpressed by Drake-san's amazing pirate-ness. "I hope you remember our bet."

The reminder that the Holy Grail was on the line seems to somehow make the atmosphere change. Drake-san's laidback attitude becomes a bit more guarded as she places the bottle back on the table and her cheerful smile becomes something a bit sharper.

"And what if I didn't?" She asks, voice casual and tone idle.

"Then I'd beat you up again, obviously." Olga rolls her eyes with a snort. "But this time you end up sleeping at the bottom of the sea instead of the wooden floor."

But, Mashu can't help noticing, Olga has also tensed up and her eyes have sharpened. The hand resting on the table is actually hovering right beside one of her jacket's secret pouches, ready to start pulling off gems at the slightest hint of trouble. Taking the hint, Mashu prepares herself for violence too.

The tense atmosphere continues for a few moments as the two amazing women glare at each other until, finally… Drake-san lets out another hearty cackle.

"Yup, I like you, Captain Fluffy-White!" She nods again, putting one of her guns down to pull out her Holy Grail from… somewhere. "Here, my… No, your golden cup!"

"Well, this is the shortest exploration sortie in the history of ever." Senpai, who had so far been mingling with the pirates and eyeing the whole interaction from afar, chooses that moment to walk up to them too. "At least it was fun."

"Haku." Olga's smile turns into a frown when Haku joins them, she doesn't seem very happy with her right now. "Are you done fraternizing with drunk, sweaty and stinky undesirables?"

"Hey!" Someone cries out from somewhere far back into the crowds. "I resemble that remark!"

"Eh, I could spend the whole night here. I'm a bit of a party animal when the mood strikes right." Haku-senpai wags a hand in a so-so gesture. "But I guess we'll be returning to Chaldea now."

Olga frowns and opens her mouth, but someone else speaks up before she can say anything.

"I'm afraid it won't be that easy, everyone."

"Da Vinci?" Olga turns towards the hologram in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"The Singularity should've started correcting itself as soon as the Grail was handed over." She explains with a small frown. "Even if the effects themselves take a bit longer to overtly manifest, our instruments should've picked up the signs already."

"There were two energy signatures." Senpai points out. "What are the chances they were both Grails?"

"No way, the one we missed in Septem?" Olga's eyes widen in realization.

Back in Septem, they didn't manage to secure the Grail and the Singularity collapsed all on its own. As expected of Olga, even after drinking two full glasses of that awful concoction, she still made the connection instantly.

"Sure looks that way." Haku crosses her arms. "Damn, I wasn't expecting us to find it again so soon…"

"All those mouth noises you're having with the funny man and the hot woman hallucinations fly right over my head." Drake-san comments with a shrug. "But something crazy should've happened when you guys got the cup, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because something crazy happened a few weeks ago." Drake-san's gaze drifts upwards as she explains with a reminiscing voice. "One day, we were all minding our own business around the Caribbean Sea when suddenly, bam! Strange waters with strange islands and strange beasts and strange people all around."

"Ah, that's right!" One of the pirates smashed a fist on his open palm, as if he had somehow forgotten a world-altering incident like that in just a few weeks. Maybe he had, pirates are amazing like that. "My crew fought vikings just the other day!"

"And we found an island with roosting wyverns!" Another one pipes in. "Crazy shit, I tell you."

"And there was that crazy chick with wings and the pig obsession!" A third one says something amazing while shaking his head in despair. "Man, why are all the crazy ones so hot?"

"You don't get it, man." A fourth one pipes in. "It's because they are crazy that they're hot."

"... What the fuck's wrong with you?" The third one replies. "How the fuck are you still alive?"

"I made a pact with the devil to get nine lives like a cat."

"And how many lives remain?"

"... two."

"And how many times did a crazy lay kill you?"

"Every single one, one of them killed me twice." The fourth one crosses his arms and nods, a weird smile on his lips. "It was all worth it, every single one of them."

"Lads, a bit of focus!" Senpai claps her hands, somehow causing a shockwave that quietens the entire place. "We're talking about the world going to shit!"

"Uh…" Another pirate hesitantly raises a finger. "But it didn't go to shit?"

"Yeah, it's just become…" Another one hurries to agree. "A bit more interesting."

"A lot more interesting."

"Yeah!"

"Whatever!" Olga finally snaps. "Does anyone know why it happened?"

"Oh, that was because of a second Holy Grail entering the picture." A new voice answers, causing everyone to turn towards the source. "It tried to become the lynchpin of the Singularity, but there was already one here, so they clashed and caused this mess."

"Oh, it's the Snow-White Pirate Princess!"
"And the Pitch-Black Feral Lion!"
"Three Cheers for the Princess of Tortuga, guys!"

Mashu's eyes widen in recognition. It's been a while, but she recognizes these two.

Einzbern-san and Atalanta-san, who the Exploration Team met all the way back during Singularity F. Also the only known members of the Cult of Re'em they hadn't seen again after that day. It's good to know they're doing well.

Einzbern-san makes a silver stairway for the two of them to walk all the way up to the balcony on the second floor amongst the cheering crowds and Mashu catches sight of another two figures she also recognizes, trailing right behind them!

Marie-san and Elizabeth-san!

They were alright! Matou-senpai fulfilled her promise! Not that Mashu didn't believe her, but she's very happy to have confirmation all the same. Does this mean, Matou-senpai is also around? Or maybe only these four are around this time. Einzbern-san and Atalanta-san were nowhere to be found the last time Mashu visited the Emiya Residence, so the place might follow some strange rules she doesn't know about.

Once they make their way up -and all the pirates standing there beforehand make themselves scarce by the rather expeditive method of jumping over the handrail- Einzbern-san turns her attention towards the crowds.

"Hello, everyone!" She greets them all. "I heard there was a crazy party somewhere on my island, so I had to come take a look!"

"Hell yea!" They all cheer, raising their mugs and glasses.

"And it sure looks like everyone's having fun!" She continues with a wide smile. "Are you having fun?"

"Hell yeah!" They all cheer again.

"So who decided it was a good idea to start blowing holes in my town?" Einzbern-san continues, her smile turning frosty as she leans on the handrail to loom over the crowds.

Silence befalls the place for a moment, before chaos explodes.

"It was all Drake's fault!"
"It was the newbie!"
"We tried to stop them, but they're too strong!"
"Please don't kill us!"

…Pirates sure are amazing.


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