Lan and Bianca try to get Moiraine to rest, so her body and mind can heal. In the meantime, Moiraine struggles with reality and dream. Who speaks the truth?
Moiraine didn't know for how long she tried to free herself from Lan. At some point, the uncrowned king of Malkier had given up trying to calm her. Instead, it seemed like he had accepted his fate. Calmly and silent, he lay behind her with his arms and legs wrapped around her, enduring every curse and insult she threw at him.
The guards had been relieved when Lan told them to wait outside. Moiraine's outburst made them feel uncomfortable.
Her pounding head punished her for every movement, but Moiraine couldn't just lay there. The real Lan was in danger, and she had to save him.
When the door of their room finally opened again, the Aes Sedai's heart filled itself with hope. Maybe that person could help her-
All hope died when Moiraine recognized the Healer. Was there no one in that house who could help her?
Bianca raised her eyebrows when she saw the mess. "I can't remember leaving the room like this. Did you think about redecoration, or is this a marriage thing?"
"Moiraine had a nightmare and used Saidar subconsciously."
Surprised, the Aes Sedai stopped fighting against her Warder. She had used Saidar? Yes, she had tried to attack that barrier with the One Power to reach Rand, but why had it affected that room?
"I did that?"
Sighing, Lan pressed his nose into Moiraine's dark locks. "That's why I tried to wake you. I was scared you could hurt yourself by one of the flying objects."
"Apparently, using Saidar isn't the only thing she did, as I was told." Bianca stepped beside the bed, checking Moiraine's eyes. "You tried to run, my Lady?"
"I don't belong here."
The Healer and the Malkieri exchanged a glance. "She still believes this isn't real?"
Lan didn't say anything, but Moiraine felt him nodding behind her. Growling, she tried to free herself again while saying, "This may be not real, but I can hear you."
"I assume you tried to talk some sense into her?"
"She doesn't listen. I can't convince her, and she is desperate to find a way out of that… illusion."
"The sooner you allow me to leave, the sooner you get your Moiraine back," Moiraine snapped. She knew Lan didn't believe her, but why did he have to keep her from leaving? She had all those memories that didn't match his, so why didn't he even consider helping her?
And Bianca also didn't look amused about Moiraine's outburst. She shook her head. "I know you didn't want it, my Lord, but I'm afraid you need to think about that tea I talked about."
Immediately, the Cairhien woman was on high alert. What had those two talked about without her knowing? "Tea? What kind of tea?"
"Is there truly no other way?" The uncrowned king of Malkier didn't sound happy.
"Not if you want her to get better. Without the tea, she will run around while searching for a way to escape and probably hurt herself in the process. She needs to rest if we want her to get better."
The more the Healer talked, the more Moiraine was sure she wouldn't like the effect of that mysterious tea. "Whatever that tea does, I don't want it."
"Fine," Lan sighed heavily. "Give her the tea."
Bianca nodded. "I will need your help to keep her from fighting me, or I won't be able to get it down her throat."
"I said no!"
It was useless. Neither Lan nor Bianca were listening to what Moiraine was saying. While the woman of the Blue Ajah fought against her Warder's embrace, the Healer prepared the bloody tea.
Once it was done, Bianca returned to the bed with a steamy cup in her hand. Moiraine started to panic. She didn't want to drink that! Her Lan had never forced her to swallow something she didn't want to drink. How could she stop them?
Determined, the Aes Sedai pressed her lips together. She swore herself not to let a single drop come over her lips. Lan and Bianca would have to fight against her if they wanted her to drink the liquid.
"Open your mouth, my Lady."
Moiraine shot daggers at the other woman. Usually, people were scared to anger an Aes Sedai, but Healers seemed different. Probably because they were used to fighting with their patients.
"This will be much easier for both of us if you work with me, my Lady. I'm not here to hurt you. I try to help you."
The lips stayed close. Reasoning with her wouldn't help, and apparently, Bianca realized that, too. So, instead of reasoning with her, the Healer went into action. But Moiraine moved her head from side to side, though the pain was almost unbearable, making it impossible for Bianca to pour the hot liquid into her mouth.
Growling, the other woman addressed the uncrowned king of Malkier. "My Lord? Is there a chance you could help stop her from moving?"
"I'm already trying to keep her from channeling."
"Do you want me to get one of the guards?"
"No," Lan growled. "I'll try."
Shocked, Moiraine realized that Lan put both her hands in one of his, then used his free hand to grab her chin. No matter how hard she tried, Moiraine couldn't free herself.
"No! Please!"
"It's for your own good, my Lady."
"No! Lan, stop!"
"I'm sorry, my love, but it's necessary."
Bianca placed the cup against Moiraine's lips, but they were already pressed together again. She wouldn't drink that.
The Healer cursed, then faced Lan. "Will you fight me too when I try something?"
"Depends on how bad it will be."
"Just a little trick to make her open her mouth."
Moiraine prayed Lan would say no but then felt him nodding behind her, and her heart sank. He should be on her side. Usually, they were a team against everyone else.
Bianca pressed the Cairhien woman's nose together so she couldn't breathe. Panicking, Moiraine fought against Lan's hold. If she couldn't free her hands in time, she would have to open her mouth to breathe again.
"Please, Moiraine. Just open your mouth."
A tear escaped Moiraine's eye, then she had to give up. Gasping, she inhaled quickly so she could close her mouth again, but it was useless. Before she even got the chance to do it, Bianca pressed the cup against her lips. The warm liquid entered her mouth, and since the Healer still held on to the Aes Sedai's nose, Moiraine had to swallow if she wanted to breathe again.
"Almost done, my Lady." Bianca's voice sounded softly now that she had reached her goal. As soon as the cup was empty, the other woman released Moiraine and turned back to the table.
Trembling, the Aes Sedai licked her lips. The herbs tasted bitter. "What will that tea do to me?"
"It helps you to rest, my Lady."
"I'm sorry," Lan whispered, holding her close to him while he buried his nose in her hair again. "I'm so sorry. I hoped we wouldn't have to use it, but you have to get better, my love."
Moiraine's body felt heavy, and her tongue was swollen. Obviously, the herbs worked fast. It felt almost impossible to turn her head toward Lan. "Need to go home." She couldn't raise her voice. Did Lan even understand what she was saying?
"You focus on resting. Bianca and I will figure out how to restore your memories."
"Lanfear." She couldn't let the daughter of the night win. This world was meant to be a trap for the Cairhien woman, but she would find her way out of it.
"Rest, my love." Were those Lan's lips on hers, or was she imagining things? The darkness made it hard for her to think clearly, luring her into sleep. "Rest."
When Moiraine opened her eyes the next time, Lan was sitting beside her bed again. The small table was crowded with books, letters, and maps, and he leaned over it. Lan had developed a new solution for how to keep the Cairhien woman in bed. According to him, he would ensure there would always be someone with her from now on to keep her from hurting herself. Her last escape attempt shocked him pretty well.
Moiraine realized she needed a new strategy as well. Her body was too weak to deal with the overprotective Warder and whoever else he ordered to watch over her. So, she gave up for the moment and decided to play along. Lan would stop being on high alert at some point, and then she could slip away.
Sadly, the woman of the Blue Ajah had underestimated the man's persistence. The next few days, she did nothing more than regaining her strength while being in bed. Lan didn't allow her to go for a walk or to stand up, except for when she had to relieve herself, and even then, two maids were assigned to help her.
At least the Healer didn't give her more tea to sleep. Everyone thought she was slowly improving since she stopped yelling and fighting. Moiraine didn't tell them she was plotting while staying in bed. The book Lan had brought her was only there, so she looked calm and busy to others' eyes while her thoughts were racing. She didn't read a single word of the book.
On the fourth day, Lan was willing to let her try leaving bed for the first time. Bianca had calmed him that Moiraine's condition hadn't gotten worse. So, he finally agreed when the Cairhien woman asked the Malkieri to have breakfast in the dining room instead of her room.
Once a maid helped her get dressed, the uncrowned king of Malkier helped her to their dining room. The table was already filled with countless plates and food, and Moiraine wondered who was supposed to eat all that.
Luckily, Lan had a meeting to attend, so he left her to herself, only ordering the guards to keep her company. The two men didn't leave their place at the door, not even when Moiraine offered them to eat something.
All that food made her stomach twist painfully. In the end, she chose to eat some bread and cheese and finished with fruits. Her thoughts were already running while she ate. Lanfear still kept invading her dreams. Every night, she showed the woman of the Blue Ajah how she tortured those Moiraine cared for. And every time, Lan was the one receiving most of her unwanted attention. No matter what Moiraine did – no fighting, no begging – Lanfear never stopped or left him alone. How long would Lan survive? As a Warder, he could endure more pain than a usual man, but even Warders had a breaking point, and Moiraine didn't want to find out when the Malkieri reached his. Light, she had to return home!
That thought brought her to the next problem. She hadn't seen anything that screamed it would get her out of that nightmare for now. Nothing seemed off or different, as if it didn't belong there. At the moment, she was the only thing that didn't belong in that place.
What if I have to travel to Falme? What if Lanfear ensured my way out of here is as far away as possible?
Grimacing, she bit into the apple. The Lan of that world would never allow her to travel to Falme. He was way too worried about her and probably remembered that she had mentioned Falme after waking up.
Think about it, Moiraine. You say you never fell off a horse. And then you add that Aldieb threw you off once. Don't you think the First Oath would stop you from saying you never fell if you had actually run into a Myrddraal?
Involuntarily, Lan's words came to her mind. For days, she tried not to think about them too often, but they kept appearing, poisoning her mind with doubts about her mental condition.
No matter how certain she was that her current situation was a simple trick from Lanfear, Lan's words made her question if he could be right. The First Oath should stop her from lying. So, how could she say she never fell off a horse, though she remembered doing so only a few months ago outside Tifan's Well?
"I never fell off a horse in my entire life." No hesitation or tight feeling in her throat. "I fell off Aldieb's back outside of Tifan's Well." Cursing, Moiraine took another bite. That was ridiculous! It was impossible that both things were true.
Suddenly, she froze. What if something else was wrong? What if the Three Oaths didn't work in that world? Could she lie now?
Her eyes moved to the red apple in her hand. Could she say that it was blue? "The apple in my hand is bl-"Immediately, the First Oath wrapped itself tightly around Moiraine's throat, making her cough.
"Are you alright, my Lady?" The guards had stepped closer when she started to cough. "Shall we call the Healer?"
Quickly, Moiraine shook her head, cursing herself for not being more careful. "That won't be necessary. Thank you."
The men didn't look convinced. Blood and ashes! What did Lan tell them? She didn't want to see Bianca. The woman was as worried as Lan about Moiraine's memory loss. Light, she was so tired of pretending!
At that moment, the doors opened, and Lan entered. Involuntarily, Moiraine sighed in relief since it pulled the guards' attention away from her. The two guards bowed. "My Lord."
"Did something happen?"
Of course, the insufferable man noticed immediately the guards had left their places at the door. Was there anything he didn't see?
"We thought about calling the Healer, my Lord."
"Why?" Alarmed, Lan's eyes moved over Moiraine, who rolled her eyes in annoyance. No doubt, he searched for injuries that weren't there. "Are you not feeling well? Do you need Bianca?"
"No," the Aes Sedai growled, glaring at him. "I coughed once, and now your men think I should see the Healer. Maybe someone overreacted in his care and projected it on his men?"
Surprisingly, her answer calmed the Malkieri. Smiling, he gave the guards a sign with his head to leave. "I'll take it from here. Thank you for watching her."
Again, the guards bowed, then left. Moiraine took another bite of her apple while she watched Lan approaching her. He looked exhausted.
"You look tired."
Sighing heavily, the uncrowned king of Malkier took the seat beside the Cairhien woman. "It was a long meeting." Then his eyes met hers. "And I couldn't stop thinking about you."
Quickly, the Aes Sedai lowered her gaze. She didn't like how the Warder looked at her. Her gaze fell on the golden rings on her fingers. Precisely on her wedding ring, and she had to swallow. Her husband. Lan was her husband. A fact that also wasn't stopped by the First Oath when she said it out loud. Light, that world made no sense to her! What had Lanfear done to her?!
Suddenly, Lan's hand grabbed hers, covering the rings under his big palm. Surprised, Moiraine lifted her head. His eyes shone with worry. "Are you sure I shouldn't call Bianca?"
"Bianca can't help me," the woman of the Blue Ajah responded. She didn't know who could help her if she was honest with herself. "Besides, I'm eating and drinking. I rested the last few days, my body is healing, and I'm gaining strength. Doesn't sound like I'm in need of a Healer."
Lan didn't look convinced. "And what about your memories? Do you still think this is not real?"
Moiraine wished she could say no, but she didn't need to try to know the First Oath would stop her. "Bianca said it is common to lose memory after a head injury."
"Yes, but usually, those people miss months or even years of their life. You, on the other hand, remember a completely different life." Had she really expected she could fool him? Sighing, he shook his head and let go of her hand. "And since you don't answer my question with a clear answer, I take it you still believe this is a dream."
The Aes Sedai's heart ached when she saw how hurt the Warder was by her reaction. He wasn't her Lan, yet she couldn't stop hating herself for causing him such pain. He didn't deserve that.
"Lan, I-"
Before the Cairhien woman could finish her sentence, the doors opened loudly, and a short woman entered without waiting for an invitation. "I came as quickly as possible, and I'm starving. Now, what is the rush?"
Speechless, Moiraine stared at her friend, Alanna Mosvani, who placed herself in a chair and grabbed an apple. She hadn't expected that.
For all of you who think that Lan is out of character, please remember that this is a different world.