Although the berry forced Amu to sleep, her sleep was still not very restful. She was plagued by nightmares. Over and over again, that day repeated itself. Again and again, she had to lose Ikuto. She cried many tears in her sleep but didn't notice it. The last dream, however, was more peaceful. They were sitting under a tree on a quiet, pleasant summer day, and in that moment, everything could have felt perfect, if it weren't for the conversations.
"Nothing in this world is endless, Amu... not you, nor the birds that share their songs with us, and certainly not me..." His voice was calm as he looked up at the sky, seemingly enjoying the warmth.
"One day, I will have to leave, but you must be strong and still make the best of your life. I want you to be happy," he gently ruffled her hair and smiled at her.
"But... but not so soon..." she sobbed.
"I'm here..." He didn't understand where all of this was coming from. "Believe me... I would only leave you like this if there was no other way..." One of his arms gently wrapped around her waist and pulled her close.
"I had hoped you would see your son grow up. I was convinced we would bring you back..."
"Amu... I don't understand..." How could he? He was a dream version, but Amu in this dream was her subconscious.
He sighed heavily and thought for a moment. She was acting as though he had already died. The thought made his mouth twitch.
"Even if I'm gone, Tadase and Nagi will always be with you. And no matter where I may be, my heart will always belong to you, do you hear me? You can't give up, Amu... for my sake..."
"Tadase is just a shadow of himself... who knows if he'll ever fully come back..." She wiped her tears away, but new ones quickly followed.
The blue-haired man looked to the right, where a little further away, Nagi and Tadase were sitting and chatting cheerfully. He tilted his head and furrowed his brow. How could he help her if he didn't understand?
"Sometimes life unfortunately only gives us huge stones in our path. But we must keep going. Look back and remember what you've already achieved and what you would have missed if you had given up at an earlier obstacle." He paused for a moment and turned his gaze back to her. "That's how it will always be, Amu. There will always be good times again..."
"That... might be true... but not in something like this... How am I supposed to keep living without you?" She threw herself into his arms and cried bitterly. Ikuto swallowed and hugged her back, still confused. Was she an Amu from another world? But then she wouldn't have spoken about their son, and it was unlikely he existed everywhere, and her bond with Tadase and Nagi wasn't unfamiliar to her.
"It's just rare that a couple leaves the world together." He gently pulled her away so he could hold her cheek and look into her eyes. "And men usually die before women..."
"If it had happened under normal circumstances, it would have been different... but I hadn't even gotten you back, and now... now you're just gone..." She lost herself in his blue eyes. The longer she stayed there, the more aware she became that this was a dream. She wanted to stay here; she didn't want to leave him.
"Someday, we'll meet again, my dearest," he kissed her forehead. "But until then, you must never give up, okay?"
"You can't ask that of me..."
"But I can. You can falter. Cry. Suffer. Question everything and hate the world for a moment, but you must always get back up. Please, never lose yourself, because that would break my heart." His gaze rested on her, serious yet compassionate.
"And don't give up on Tadase. Help him. He was there for you; now be there for him. And don't forget poor Nagi," he smiled gently, and the moment slowly dissolved, drowned by white.
Her eyes opened. It was already bright outside. The guest room seemed to be on one of the outer walls, as it had windows that now illuminated it.
She felt that her face was wet, and her chest immediately started to shake and tremble. She suppressed any sounds, but the tears once again found their way. Nagi and Tadase seemed to still be asleep, and she didn't want to wake them.
"I want to go back..." she whispered softly, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared at the ceiling. Her thoughts drifted back to the conversation in her dream. It had felt so real. She knew the real Ikuto would have reacted the same way, but not giving up felt impossibly hard. Dealing with emotional matters on top of everything else only made her feel guiltier. 'Don't give up on Tadase. Help him,' echoed in her mind, and she let out a heavy sigh. Slowly, she pushed herself upright, positioning herself so that her face hovered just above his. She observed him silently, her gaze unwavering, until a single tear slipped from her cheek and landed on his.
Amu reacted quickly, gently wiping it away with her hand before leaning down further. Finally, she kissed him.
To her surprise, he responded. He was awake and kissed her back. Yet, something was missing. It didn't feel the same as before—it felt forced.
Nagi stirred from the movement, cracking one eye open to glance at them. "Seriously?" he muttered, opening his other eye with an exaggerated sigh. "I'm not part of this this ti~" His teasing tone was cut short as Tadase silenced him with a hand over his mouth.
Nagi's attempt at lightening the mood fell flat. He only wanted to ease the tension, to find some humor in the crushing weight of the situation. He took a better look at them and noticed that amu was crying. It wasn't the time for jokes.
Amu finally pulled away, her and Tadase's eyes locking. The deep red of his gaze, which once burned with passion and hope, was now cold, lifeless.
"Do you even still love me?" she whispered, her voice trembling.
"Of course he does!" Nagi interjected immediately, his voice almost desperate.
"I... I feel nothing," Tadase admitted, averting his gaze. His words were heavy, but he knew he couldn't leave it there. "No pain, no sadness, no love... just emptiness."
"I see..." Amu breathed, her heart shattering further. Ikuto was gone, and now Tadase didn't love her anymore. She didn't know how to keep going, how to avoid falling into the same void he had succumbed to. Yet, Ikuto's last wish for her rang clearly in her mind: Don't give up. Stay yourself.
Nagi shook his head and suddenly climbed on top of the blonde, pinning his shoulders firmly to the ground. His orange eyes scrutinized the red ones below him, his expression twisting in frustration. He wanted to contradict Tadase, to tell him he was wrong. But as much as he searched, he found no emotion in them.
"You do know this is in your hands, right?" Nagi said sharply, his voice cutting through the silence. "Do you even realize what you just said?"
He glanced at Amu, who sat beside them, her head bowed and her hands clutched tightly to her chest.
"She's breaking," Nagi continued, turning his gaze back to Tadase. "And you're the one who's supposed to catch her. You're the one who's making the already dire situation even more dire. So don't you dare sit here and wallow in your emptiness while she's drowning right next to you."
Tadase frowned, his jaw tightening. "What do you expect me to do, Nagi? Pretend everything is fine? Force myself to feel something I don't?"
It didn't feel fair. Wasn't it amus fault he fell that deep to begin with?
"No." Nagi's voice softened slightly, though his grip on Tadase's shoulders didn't loosen. "I expect you to try. I expect you to want to change. For her. For yourself."
Amu looked up at that, her eyes red and swollen. Her lips parted as if to speak, but no words came.
Nagi sighed, his shoulders relaxing a bit. "You don't have to fix everything today, Tadase. Hell, you don't even have to fix it tomorrow. But you do have to stop running from it. Because if you keep running, you'll lose everything. And this time, there'll be no one left to bring you back."
"Amu... my love for you, and Ikuto's love for you, even though he's gone... will not disappear." He released Tadase and tried to comfort her somehow.
"Nagi... come here and stop pretending to be strong..." She raised her arms, signaling for a hug. Nagi hesitated for a moment. If he didn't stay strong, who would? He had to be there for Amu, and he had to somehow reason with Tadase. He couldn't afford to be weak. With a pained sigh, he followed her request and lay in her arms, his arms gently wrapping around her body. His head rested on her shoulder.
"Let go... I'm here..." she whispered softly in his ear as she held him tightly. It was almost as if she had flipped a switch, for suddenly, he held her even tighter and began to let his emotions run free. He cried bitterly. "How could he do this... how can he just be gone... he... he had become my best friend..." The young man's voice sounded broken, trembling with every word.
Amu too succumbed to her emotions and cried. "I would have done anything to save him..." she paused as irregular sobs escaped. "But I failed... if only I had moved faster..." If she hadn't caused such emotional turmoil, they wouldn't have been set back by weeks due to the incident with Nagi.
"No, Amu... it's not your fault..." He held her tighter and then rested his forehead against hers. "Ikuto made a choice. A choice we couldn't influence. I'm sure he was convinced you'd continue living, despite everything. For him. For Aruto, and most of all, for you."
He laughed bitterly and sadly. "I wanted to be his best man. I wanted to see that indescribable shine in your eyes when you were finally united officially in front of everyone." More tears forced their way from his eyes. "And now I fear I'll never see that shine in you again."
Amu looked up at the ceiling with a heavy heart, as if trying to look through it into the sky. "It will take time, of course... but I'll try somehow to lead a normal life... he wishes for it..." Even as she said this, she could barely believe it, for there was hardly a moment she didn't cry.
She pouted and looked sulkily at Tadase. "I hope we can somehow bring him back..." Why hadn't she listened? Why hadn't she controlled her emotions better? Tadase's burden was already heavy enough. Without those words from her, he might have stayed somewhat normal.
"Talking about it now is absurd, but still... maybe we should just live with the Feralis. We take care of Dia and try to find a solution for Horensia, and then..." She took each of the men's hands. "Then we finally focus on ourselves..." These words were hard for her to say, and they tore her heart apart in her chest. The heart that still beat for Ikuto.
"I love Ikuto so much, and that will never change... but he desperately wants me to keep living and eventually lead a happy life again, and you are a part of that..."
"Do you want that, Amu...?" Nagi murmured uncertainly, but still squeezed her hand.
"I... I don't know..." A soft sigh left her pale lips. "I mean... I love you... and if it's the best solution for you... it wouldn't be much different from the last few weeks..." Her gaze shifted to Tadase. "But maybe that's irrelevant now, after all, he doesn't love me anymore..." Her fingers tightened unconsciously between Nagi's hand, as if wanting to bury themselves there.
"He feels nothing, this is not directed at you personally. Don't take it so much to heart," Nagi tried to smile faintly and gently stroked her cheek.
"You shouldn't be worrying about romantic feelings right now... process your pain over the next weeks or months..." He still sounded cold, but he tried to show empathy.
"I... it hurts so much to face this... I'd rather think about other things..." The pink-haired girl sighed sadly and briefly glanced at Tadase, who was now sitting upright in the bed. At least he was speaking again.
"Suppressing it wouldn't be good, Amu... eventually, it will catch up to you, and it will be much worse then..." His thumb gently stroked her cheek, wiping the individual tears away again and again. His gaze shifted to Tadase, a little irritated, but in the end, he couldn't blame him for his condition. He kept reminding himself of this to avoid becoming too angry or harsh.
"If you see her like this, do you really feel nothing?"
The blonde shook his head. He should feel bad, ashamed, but even those feelings remained distant.
Nagi sighed and took Amu's and Tadase's hands, the ones with the rings. He was aware that Amu had already tried this, but at that time, Tadase had been even less present than now.
"You put so much effort into designing the perfect rings. They complement each other and express your love for her all on their own." He should have felt something at the sight of them, shouldn't he?
"I... can't really remember such things..."
He raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He had lost his feelings and memory? Those were rosy prospects, he thought to himself, and he lost hope even more. Was it a defense mechanism of his body because Amu had the greatest control over his state?
"I was so excited and happy the day we were almost married..." She smiled gently as she intertwined her hand with Tadase's even more. "I had finally realized how much you had changed, and I had learned that most of it wasn't even your fault, but your parents'..." She focused intently on staying calm and reminiscing. For a moment, she just wanted to think of those memories without crying.
"And yet, I did unforgivable things and was never good for you..."
"Oh, you remember that?!" Nagi shook his head in disbelief and almost horror. His expression matched his reaction.
"I never said I forgot everything..."
"So, you're just focusing on the negative?" Nagi really didn't want to be angry at him, but he was making it hard. Finally, he took a deep breath. "You were so nervous, unsure, and confused that day... but at some point, she had infected you with her joy. You didn't want to show it, but your eyes betrayed you. I had rarely seen you so happy, and those rare times were always with her."
"Really? I didn't notice... I only noticed how confused he was by my joy..." She thought back and smiled as she remembered how he turned red. How embarrassed he was.
"Is that so?" He didn't know what Nagi expected from him. He couldn't just snap his fingers and suddenly have his memories and feelings back. To him, all of this was just stories that could just as well be made up.
Amu sighed deeply and absentmindedly twirled the ring on Tadase's hand. What would Ikuto's ring have looked like? Would he have made sure it was somehow the same as the first one, or would he have come up with something new? After all, if everything had gone well in this world, money wouldn't have been an issue. He had already kept her waiting for so long the first time because the ring had to be special.
He watched as Amu absentmindedly twirled the ring, and his gaze also fell on her own. The ring must have been custom-made—he couldn't imagine there being another like it. Nagi was right, the ring complemented his own perfectly, as if they were made for each other.
Tadase acted more out of an instinctive need than clear thought as he gently pulled her closer and kissed her lips for a brief moment. Their eyes met, and he saw the endless sadness in her gaze. Without another word, he kissed her again, and then again, as if this kiss could lessen the sorrow in her eyes, free her a little from the pain. During the third kiss, their lips lingered together longer, and Amu, gripped by a mix of hesitation and longing, kissed him back, even though tears were flowing uncontrollably down her face. She felt guilty, each of these actions seemed too soon, too thoughtless, it had only been a day. But at the same time, she feared that her hesitant restraint would distance her from Tadase forever, because the words from everyone kept echoing in her head. His condition was her fault, and if they didn't find a solution soon, he might never fully return.
"I'm sorry..." Tadase whispered as he noticed her face becoming wet. He gently pulled away from her.
Amu shook her head, her lips brushing his in a fleeting kiss. "It's fine..." she murmured, but there was an uncertainty in her eyes that stirred deep within her.
"At least you're trying..." Nagi muttered, watching the whole thing skeptically. Of course, he meant Tadase. Tadase didn't comment on it.
"Don't be like that, Nagi..." her words were cut off by a sudden coughing fit. She held her hand to her mouth and noticed blood before tipping forward. Tadase reacted quickly and caught her.
"Probably her heart..."
"Right... with all the stress from Ikuto, she probably suppressed it or didn't notice..." Nagi muttered nervously as he stood up and left the room. They needed some kind of healing. Just outside the door, he was already facing Thalor. He was about to enter. "Do you have healers or medicine here?" He explained the situation with her heart and waited impatiently for an answer.
Thalor nodded silently and stepped aside. Behind him, a female harpy emerged who looked very similar to him. She was smaller, but no less imposing.
She had an elegant and majestic appearance. Her long black hair shimmered a deep blue and flowed like a waterfall over her shoulders. Her large, violet-black wings were strong and imposing, with fine feathers that shimmered slightly at the edges. Her eyes were intense green, standing out against her pale, almost gray complexion, giving her a mystical expression.
Her clothing was made of black, leather-like fabric, adorned with fine, golden ornaments and patterns that accentuated her slender silhouette. The details on her arms and legs resembled armor pieces, giving her a warrior-like yet elegant look. Her clawed feet and the intricately designed feathered cloak blended seamlessly into the overall picture, making her appear both powerful and graceful.
"My sister is skilled in healing magic. I suspected something with all this 'me or her' talk," Nagi nodded and opened the door to let the woman pass.
Amu glanced up briefly and sighed quietly. "If I just let things happen, maybe I could be with him again soon..." The only one who could hear these thoughts, which she shared quietly yet audibly, was Tadase. He sighed too. "He'd be mad at you. He wants you to live."
Amu shook her head. "He'd look at me with judgment in the first moment. That look would say more than a thousand words..." she smiled faintly, imagining it. "But shortly after, he'd shake his head, smile gently, and open his arms to hug me."
He didn't know what to say, as he was well aware that it would probably happen exactly as she had described. Ikuto wasn't really capable of staying mad at her for long, at least in his opinion.
"So you don't care what happens with Nagi and me?"
He didn't want to make her feel guilty, but it was the only thing that came to mind.
"You don't love me anymore... when I'm gone, you can do whatever you want..." she didn't say anything about Nagi, but internally she thought to herself that he wouldn't be around for long. He'd be the next one to leave her. She swallowed a few tears at this thought.
"Amu... this has only just happened... Give me time..." His voice had a hint of emotion, sadness, and regret. "I want to find those feelings again... I will... but... it's not something that happens just like that." Why did he want to find those feelings again? Wasn't it better to feel nothing than to constantly face this pain? Probably, he just didn't want to see her suffer like this forever. Even now, his priority was the girl in his arms, even without feelings for her.
He heard footsteps. Their conversation took only seconds, and the ones who had been standing in the door were now approaching. He took a deep breath. "I don't like this idea... I actually want to prevent it... but... if you really wish for it, I'll try to stop them and buy some time..." He understood best how suffocating it was to always hold on to life, even though you didn't want to. That was the only reason he gave in. He knew how it felt.
"For me, though, there will be nothing left that binds me to stay."
Amu looked up, her eyes meeting his. Hers full of pain and suffering, his, despite everything, empty. She sighed heavily and clung to him for a moment before her right hand once again gripped her chest in pain. He wrapped an arm around her and waited for an answer. "I have to keep going... I can't give up..." she thought of her son, and even though his existence would always be linked to pain for her, she didn't want to abandon him. She also didn't want the world to fall into Dia's hands.
"You can do it. We're with you, little mouse," he tried to smile. Even though the nickname didn't mean anything to him right now, he still had the memory of it.
Samira, the harpy woman, had finally arrived at the bed and stood beside them, where Tadase gently laid Amu back on the bed and stepped aside so the stranger could do her task. He stayed close enough to hold Amu's hand.
The harpy took a calm breath, keeping her eyes closed as her right hand hovered just above Amu's heart. Her fingertips slowly began to glow, and the gentle light spread softly across her entire hand. When she opened her eyes, they were glowing green, and she seemed unresponsive at that moment, making the whole room feel like time had stopped. Everyone watched the scene tensely, hardly daring to breathe.
The same green light from her hand began to drip onto Amu, with each drop causing a twitch in the girl, and Nagi became more anxious with every drop. Was it really helping her? Had he made the wrong decision?
His gaze shifted to Tadase, who seemed completely calm. Had she really become that unimportant to him? The purple-haired boy clenched his teeth and tried to stay calm.
The room finally lost the green glow it had been enveloped in, and the harpy seemed to be done.
"Why green...?" That question had burned on Nagi's tongue from the first moment he saw her magic, but he didn't dare to interrupt. Healing magic was usually, if anything, only granted to water mages, and thus always blue.
"Our healing magic is unique, a blessing granted only to my sister," Thalor began, his voice almost reverent. "It is said that Samira was lost as a child in one of our holiest forests. There, she encountered the soul of the earth itself – a being older than even the elemental spirits. Impressed by Samira's courage and her love for nature, it gifted her this healing magic. Since then, she has been the only one with the power not only to mend wounds but also to restore the bond between nature and life itself."
Samira smiled modestly as she looked at her hands, still faintly glowing with a green shimmer. "I didn't do anything special," she said softly. "I was just lucky – and I'm grateful for it."
Amu slowly sat up, holding a hand to her chest. She shook her head. The pain was gone—not just the physical pain, but something more. Her emotions suddenly felt lighter, less heavy and suffocating, and she didn't like it one bit. "What did you do to me..." Her gaze landed sadly on the unfamiliar harpy. This lightness felt alien, like a foreign object inside her.
"Your heartache was immense. Part of my unique healing magic is to ease such suffering as well." Samira gave her a compassionate look.
"But... I don't want that..." Amu choked, clutching her chest again. How could someone take her feelings away? Yes, the emotional pain had been unbearable, but not having it felt entirely wrong.
"I'm sorry, but it happens automatically—especially when the physical injury requiring healing involves the heart." The black-haired healer shook her head, remaining calm. She had no control over this and couldn't understand the anger directed at her. Shouldn't Amu feel better now? Her magic had done her a favor.
"It's only been a day, and now I can't even cry about it...?" Amu shook her head hopelessly before her gaze fell on Tadase. "Then at least do the same for him..."
"I can only heal where something exists. Emptiness cannot be filled or undone," Samira explained quietly.
Amu's gaze dropped to the ground. This had to be some cruel joke.
"I don't understand your anger. Shouldn't you be glad that your heart isn't so heavy anymore? Who wants to suffer?" Samira took a hesitant step back, unsure how to respond to Amu's reaction. Though she had no control over the effects of her magic, guilt now gnawed at her. She had only wanted to help, but it seemed she had made things worse.
"I..." Amu searched for the right words, but her voice faltered. "Yes, I should be... but not so soon... Don't you understand? Just yesterday, he was still here with me..." Her thoughts raced. She wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't come. That made everything worse—a frustrating emptiness that felt suffocating.
Nagi, who had been silently observing the exchange, sighed quietly. He didn't know what to make of the situation. A part of him felt relieved that Amu might suffer less now, but he knew her well enough to understand how heavy the guilt weighed on her. He understood exactly how she felt—for if he were to suddenly stop mourning Ikuto, he would feel just as awful.
He stepped closer to her, gently taking her trembling hand in his and giving it a soft squeeze. "He wouldn't blame you, Amu. On the contrary—he'd want you to smile again as soon as possible. Believe me." His voice was calm, compassionate, and a faint smile crossed his lips, hoping to offer her a glimmer of comfort.
"Smile...? In this situation? Under these circumstances?" Her voice was barely more than a whisper. Her eyes met Nagi's orange ones for a brief moment before they fell back to the ground. "My reason and my conscience won't allow it, Nagi..."
He held her hand a bit tighter as if to anchor her. "It's the only thing you can still do for him now. Give him your smile, Amu. He would want that."
He knew it wouldn't be easy. It might take weeks or months before she could fulfill that wish. But it was the truth, and sometimes that was the only thing that could bring hope back.
Amu exhaled shakily as she slowly pulled her hand from Nagi's grasp. She felt empty, lost, and still trapped in an emotional chaos she couldn't control. The absence of her grief didn't make things better—it only made everything more confusing.
"I don't know if I can do that..." she murmured, more to herself than to Nagi. Her voice was brittle, almost a whisper. She wanted to understand him, wanted to believe he was right—that Ikuto truly wanted nothing more than her smile. But how could she give something that felt as distant as the heavens from the earth?
"You don't have to do it right away," Nagi replied gently. "It's not a race, Amu. It's only about allowing yourself to try someday."
Amu barely nodded, though she wasn't sure if she really believed him. Her gaze drifted back to Samira, who still stood hesitantly at a distance. The harpy seemed uneasy, as if she didn't know whether to stay or leave.
"I'm sorry..." Samira began softly, but Amu raised a hand to stop her.
"I know you were only trying to help," Amu said, forcing the words out. "But I need... time. I don't know how to deal with this feeling... or the lack of it."
"Time is something only you can give yourself."
Amu bit her lip and clenched her hands into fists. The pain was gone, yes, but the emptiness felt almost worse. She didn't know how to move forward, how to honor Ikuto when she couldn't even cry for him anymore.
"We must keep moving forward despite everything," Nagi finally interjected, shifting the conversation before the silence became unbearable. He placed a hand on Amu's shoulder, a cautious, encouraging gesture. "We have a long journey ahead."
Amu nodded again, though she wasn't sure if she was ready to take that journey. She glanced one last time at Samira, whose green magic still shimmered faintly in the air, and felt a wave of conflicting emotions she couldn't name.
"Thank you..." she finally murmured, though she wasn't sure if she meant it.
Samira returned her gaze with a small, sad smile. "Sometimes we have to let things happen that we don't understand in order to find the path meant for us."
With those words, the harpy took a step back, leaving the group behind with the unspoken words and unanswered questions each of them carried.
"I think you should rest a little longer. You're still welcome here," Thalor said. He had remained, knowing they might want more information about sylph, even though he thought it a terrible idea to leave so soon.
"Thank you. That's probably wise. I don't want to suffer any more losses..." Amu's gaze lingered hopelessly on Nagi. The shadow of doom hanging over him was all too present.
Nagi noticed her heavy stare and sighed, his shoulders drooping. He wished he could change things, but it was beyond his power. "I'm still here, and I'll stay that way," he said, deciding to remain optimistic, as much as possible.
Amu simply looked at him silently, but her gaze said more than enough—she didn't believe him, and she wasn't pleased with his lies. Nagi's mouth twisted. Why was she so sure? Had Ikuto told her? He quickly shook the thought away. Ikuto wouldn't add to her burden in this situation. So why was she so convinced?
Tadase listened silently at first. He didn't fully remember what had happened that left Nagi with so little time, but he hadn't forgotten Ikuto's words. Amu was right, but they couldn't tell her that.
"Amu, he's fine... well, as fine as he can be under the circumstances. Don't worry so much."
"See? Even our emotionless brick here says so!" Nagi chimed in, forcing a smile.
"If you say so..." her voice was hesitant, and her doubtful gaze shifted between them. Still, she decided to trust them for now, hoping they were telling the truth.
Thalor raised an eyebrow and gave Nagi a judgmental look. His sharp ears had caught the earlier conversation between Nagi and Ikuto. Still, it wasn't his place to interfere, and he chose to stay out of it.
"I wish I had something of his... In our world, I'd at least have the ring..." Amu murmured absently, her voice barely audible.
"You have his son... Surely a mere object can't compare," Nagi frowned. He understood that Aruto resembled Ikuto greatly, but a physical token would only serve as a reminder. Why would the ring be enough when their son made her unhappy?
"He'll surely grow to be like his father," Tadase said, placing a hand on Amu's shoulder. "His mother is strong and will love him despite everything, and someday, Ikuto's smile will reach you through Aruto." He hoped these were the right words.
"He'll probably be very handsome. All the girls will be falling for him—definitely a heartbreaker," Nagi said, striking a thoughtful pose as he imagined Aruto in his teenage years.
"If he's like Ikuto, he won't be a heartbreaker. His heart will belong to one girl, and it will be unconditional," Amu countered, shaking her head slightly.
"Or he'll take after his mother and won't be able to decide," Nagi teased, sticking out his tongue at her. All these small gestures cost him a great deal of effort since, unlike Amu, he could still feel the pain all too clearly.
Amu rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him as well. "I made my decision in the end," she said, crossing her arms and pouting slightly. "And now you're saying you don't want me to choose at all..."
"Well, if you did choose, it'd be Tadase now that Ikuto is gone," Nagi said, his voice tinged with sadness, though he tried not to let it drag him down.
"You all seem to have been suffering under this relationship and decision drama for a long time. It seems to come up a lot," Thalor interjected, crossing his arms and letting his gaze sweep over the group. Everyone lowered their eyes and fell silent. "Still, you should let it rest for now. Only the future knows what's next, and as long as his condition remains unchanged, your chaos is uncertain anyway," he added, gesturing toward Tadase.
Amu and Nagi followed his gaze, and all eyes landed on the blond.
"Get some rest already. Maybe you should sleep more and talk less," Thalor advised. He didn't feel that talking was helping them; they seemed stuck in place.
Four weeks had passed since Amu, Nagi, and Tadase had settled in the harsh mountains of the harpies. The icy peaks and barren, rugged terrain offered little comfort, but the three knew it was the only place where they could escape the pressures for now. The loss of Ikuto hung over them like a heavy shadow, but the time here—bleak as it was—helped them sort through their thoughts.
Amu had never consciously chosen to be rational. It was Samira, the healer of the harpies, whose conversations and wisdom had a profound impact on Amu, helping her cope with her loss of emotions. Samira had a clear, almost unwavering perspective on pain: it was a part of life, but it should not define life. This philosophy subtly influenced Amu. While rational thinking the grief and pain of losing Ikuto continued to weigh on her, she gradually learned to focus on the positive aspects of her memories. It would surely take a long time—if ever—for her to truly move past the loss of Ikuto, but she was beginning to live again, at least in part, and to focus on her responsibilities.
"You won't rid yourself of grief, but you must learn to live with it," Samira had told her one night as they sat together in a cave, listening to the wind howl outside. "Even if you feel guilty for your lack of emotions, you must also teach your rationality that pain is fleeting. You have to accept the things that happen."
Amu had taken those words to heart. It wasn't easy to accept that her mourning period had been stolen from her, that she couldn't cry when she thought of Ikuto. But it wasn't her fault, and she was learning that more each day. She had no control over it; there was nothing she could have done to prevent it. She knew she would never simply "let go" of her memories of Ikuto, but she was beginning to understand that the thoughts of his death didn't have to remain so overwhelming forever. Her emotions, once so chaotic, were slowly giving way to a clearer perspective.
Even as Amu tried to let this new insight guide her, the path was not easy. The loss of Ikuto had left deep wounds, and though she was beginning to accept the grief of her lacking emotions, she wasn't healed overnight. Her feelings for Ikuto hadn't disappeared—they had transformed into something else. The crushing emptiness where pain and sorrow should have been was now a familiar companion that would never fully leave, though it no longer held the same overwhelming power over her. At night, before sleeping, she often sought out a quiet corner under the open sky, gazing at the glittering stars. There, she would speak to Ikuto, alone and without expecting answers. Yet these moments offered her a small measure of solace.
Nagi, in contrast, couldn't "rationalize" his grief so easily. To him, Ikuto was more than just a friend. Ikuto had become someone dear to him, and losing him felt like losing a part of himself. In the days immediately following Ikuto's death, Nagi was consumed by a paralyzing sadness that wouldn't let go. He tried to distract himself, but nothing could fill the void in his heart. The days passed him by, and he still felt as though he were in a fog.
Thalor had offered Nagi a piece of advice: "True strength doesn't come from suppressing feelings but from living with them without letting them destroy you."
Nagi tried to understand these words. He couldn't simply push the grief away, but he was beginning to realize that it couldn't control him either. He focused on the lessons of the harpies—especially their philosophy of resilience. But it wasn't easy. He knew it would take time to let go of Ikuto, even though it would never be completely possible. Still, during those four weeks in the cold, Nagi slowly found peace with the idea that loss was part of life and that, to survive, he couldn't cling to grief.
Tadase, however, was in an entirely different state. He wasn't like Amu, who had found a spark of rationality and acceptance in her grief, nor like Nagi, who wrestled with his emotions. Tadase remained empty. The emotions he had felt in the first moments after Ikuto's death and while recounting it to Amu had vanished. It was as if the depth of his pain had captured him so completely that now he still felt nothing at all.
Days passed him by, but he remained a shadow of his former self. While Amu tried to embrace a new perspective and Nagi slowly understood the importance of letting go, Tadase was trapped in emotional emptiness. He couldn't feel anymore. The love he had once felt for Amu, which had defined him so strongly, now seemed so distant that he no longer knew what he felt for her. This emptiness that filled him was his only reality.
In the middle of those four weeks, Amu decided that she needed to check on the castle. She wasn't ready to see Aruto and certainly not to update Yoru on the current state of affairs, but she wasn't sure how long the milk supply would last. She had to return, at least briefly.
"That's no problem. If I fly you, we'll be there in no time." Thalor grinned broadly as he noticed her skepticism and unease. "Unless you're scared, but on horseback, it would take much longer." The harpies had taken the horses away when it became clear that their new guests would stay longer, so the animals wouldn't be left tied to a tree for weeks.
"You'd be alone," the lilac-haired man expressed his concerns. Though Thalor had given him no reason to doubt, he preferred to be overly cautious than careless.
"I'll take care of her." The king's voice was steady, and Nagi thought back to the first day they had met. Had they not all been caught in this emotional chaos, he might have even made advances. He liked her, and that was reason enough to ensure her safety.
The pink-haired girl swallowed briefly. "How long would it take with you?"
"Just a few hours. I can use the wind to speed up my wings. Besides, you won't escape flying anyway," he added with a grin, tilting her chin upward with his finger. She stared at him in confusion, furrowing her brow.
"Sylph resides high up in the mountains. If you want to go there, I'll take you."
"Shouldn't Sylph be accessible to anyone who wishes to see her?"
"She is, but the path is arduous, and few manage to complete it. I won't let you take that risk," he said, withdrawing his finger from her chin, though his gaze remained fixed on her.
"That would compromise my trial..."
"Sylph will understand. Besides, the real trial starts once you're up there anyway," he shrugged, crossing his arms behind his head.
Amu's mouth curved into a slight smile, though one eyebrow remained skeptically raised. "If I have no choice anyway, I might as well get used to it now."
"Alright then, let's go." He scooped her up effortlessly and exited the building.
"Wait! I want to say goodbye!" Amu squirmed wildly in Thalor's strong arms, trying to get to the ground, but it was child's play for him to hold her firmly.
"We'll be back in a few hours."
"Still..." Who knew what might happen? Perhaps this would be the last time she saw the two of them. Ikuto's absence was just as palpable as it had been on the first day—after all, it had only been two weeks. Even though she didn't feel the pain she desperately wanted to feel, her mind understood that her grief was still just as profound.
"Alright, fine." He heard the faint sadness in her voice and set her down, prompting her to immediately go to Nagi and hug him. "Don't do anything reckless, okay?" She looked into his eyes and gave him a weak smile. Smiling still felt wrong.
"Me? When have I ever done anything reckless?" The lilac-haired man raised an eyebrow but was immediately met with judgmental stares. "Oh, right..." he muttered, scratching his head sheepishly. "I won't do anything stupid. Take care of yourself and come back soon, little one." He ruffled her hair gently, trying to maintain his usual demeanor and hide his sorrow when he was near her.
She nodded and turned to Tadase. With each passing day, it became harder for her to interact with him. She saw no improvement in him. He was still empty, and she often felt like she was speaking to a pretty doll.
"Don't fall," he said, his eyes meeting hers. "But even if you do, he'll catch you. I think you can trust him." His gaze shifted to Thalor for a moment before returning to her.
"I love you, Tadase," she said softly and kissed him gently on the lips. Her only hope now was to show him affection every day, but so far, it hadn't made much of a difference. Nagi sighed at the sight but didn't take it too personally. He knew she was only doing it in hopes of helping Tadase and that it cost her a great deal of effort. He himself would have found any closeness to her inappropriate right now. It was simply too soon.
Amu looked at Tadase silently for a few moments before turning away with a heavy heart. But before she could leave the room, she felt his hand wrap around her wrist. His grip was unexpectedly strong, almost mechanical, as if he wasn't holding her back out of affection but driven by some inexplicable impulse.
Before she could react, Tadase pulled her to him with a cold determination. His gaze was empty, his eyes locked on hers, yet his lips found hers—abrupt, demanding, and devoid of the warmth she once knew. It was a kiss that felt familiar, yet the intensity was different. She could feel his desperation, his attempt to feel something, anything, that might break through the numbness consuming him.
Tadase's hands moved over her body, settling at her waist and pulling her closer. His touch wasn't gentle but forceful, almost experimental, as if he were testing whether physical closeness to her could ignite something within him. But his face remained expressionless, his movements controlled and almost clinical.
Amu let it happen, though she internally fought against the feeling that it was wrong. Not because she didn't care for him, but because she knew he felt nothing—that this was just a desperate attempt to fill the void inside him.
When Tadase finally pulled away, he lingered for a moment, his face mere inches from hers. His eyes searched for a spark in the darkness that enveloped him, but there was nothing.
"Nothing," he murmured, almost emotionlessly.
"Tadase..." Amu began quietly, but he cut her off.
"It's still nothing," he said, slightly louder this time but without any frustration or sadness in his voice. "No matter what I do. No matter how many times I try. There's... nothing."
Amu swallowed hard, unsure of what to say. "You can't force it," she finally managed, her voice trembling.
"I remember what it was like to love you," he said, more to himself than to her. "I know you were my everything. But now... it's like looking at an empty shell. I know there was something there, but I can't reach it anymore."
He released her hand and stepped back, his movements slow and deliberate, like a man consciously aware of everything yet detached from it all.
Amu looked at him, her heart heavy with memories of the Tadase she once knew. But she knew that the man before her was no longer the same. "I wish I could help you," she finally said.
He nodded mechanically, as though he had registered her words without truly understanding them. "Maybe I should just stop trying," he said quietly. "Maybe there's nothing left for me to feel."
"We won't give up," she whispered, trying to muster a reassuring smile as her hand gently stroked his cheek. "Keep trying as much as you need to. I'm sure we'll get through this." But inside, she felt anything but certain. If there truly was nothing left—no feelings, no spark—how could she reignite what had already burned out? Her heart ached at the thought that she might never be able to reach him. And then the fear crept in: perhaps she would have to do more to bring him back. Could her body help him? She suppressed a sigh, for the thought of being intimate with him, knowing he felt nothing for her, felt wrong. It would only remind her of the past. Even if she wanted to consider that path, more time would need to pass. Anything else would feel like a betrayal of Ikuto—as if, after only two weeks, she were tarnishing his memory.
"Come back safe..." Even though he felt nothing, he still didn't want anything to happen to her. The pink-haired girl nodded and returned to Thalor.
"Hold on tight!" Thalor called out, his voice teasing as he suddenly scooped her into his arms. With a powerful flap of his wings, they took to the skies. The wind tore through Amu's hair, and the cold, biting air pressed against her skin. Reflexively, she shut her eyes as she clung to Thalor, her arms wrapped tightly around him.
"You said you wouldn't drop me!" she shouted, her breath nearly stolen by the speed. Her fingers dug into his chest as she tried to overcome the sensation of emptiness below her.
"Don't worry, you're safe as long as you don't try to let go," he laughed, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "I've got you, Amu."
"I trust you, but this is way too fast!"
"Pfft, you'll survive," he replied with a cheeky smile that was mirrored in his green eyes. "Trust me, it gets even better."
"Just look down," he said with a wink. "There's no better time than now."
Reluctantly, Amu cracked one eye open and glanced down. The sight was breathtaking. The snow-capped mountain peaks, the vast, open landscape below—it all looked like another world, from another time. She felt small, but also inexplicably free, as if the wind were sweeping the heavy thoughts from her mind.
"Okay, okay, it's... impressive," she admitted, trying to quell her nervousness. She felt adrenaline coursing through her veins, though she still clung tightly to Thalor.
"I told you you'd like it. What's life without a little chaos?" Thalor grinned widely as his wings cut through the air. The wind was so strong that the trees below swayed like waves in the ocean.
It was amazing how much trust she was mustering in that moment—despite the speed and the dangerously high altitude. "I can't believe how fast this is. It feels like everything around me is blurring."
"This is freedom, Amu. Once you experience it, you'll never want anything else." Thalor's voice grew softer, almost philosophical, as they climbed higher and higher, the world below becoming smaller and smaller.
"Thank you," she whispered, unsure if he could even hear her. But Thalor seemed to understand, pulling her just a bit closer, sharing the wind and the sensation of weightlessness with her.
"No problem," he replied, his voice laced with a gentle smile. "Freedom is what we do best, you know?"
She still clung to him, staring thoughtfully down as the landscape beneath them rushed by. Over the past two weeks, Thalor had done everything he could to lift her spirits. She had slowly grown accustomed to his cheeky demeanor, and it had made her feel more at ease with him. Yet even now, in this moment, soaring high above the world, her thoughts circled unrelentingly around Ikuto. Every smile Thalor drew from her, every fleeting laugh, made her feel guilty.
The dark-haired man observed her closely, noticing the subtle shift in her mood. A mischievous grin spread across his lips, accompanied by a playful glint in his green eyes. Suddenly, Amu felt the ground beneath her disappear. Panic surged through her as she tried to grab onto him, but it was too late—she was already falling. Her heart raced in her throat, and she shielded her eyes with her hands, the pounding of her pulse deafening in her ears.
Just a few moments later, she felt the familiar, strong arms beneath her, catching her securely. She opened her eyes and saw Thalor looking at her with a cheeky grin.
Amu pounded her fists against his chest. "Don't ever do that again!" Her voice still trembled slightly, the tension from the shock evident.
"Oh, come on, it was fun," Thalor replied with a mischievous smile.
"Not at all! My heart is still racing!" She pressed herself tightly against him, her hands digging into his chest, even though she knew it wouldn't stop him from pulling the same stunt again.
"But you're cute when you're upset," he said with a charming tone that replaced the teasing in his voice.
Amu blushed and stared at him speechlessly for a moment. "I told you..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Doesn't change the fact that I still find you cute," he interrupted, winking playfully. It wasn't the first time he tried to tease or flirt with her, but she'd made it clear over the past days that she wouldn't let anyone else into her heart romantically. Still, there was something about Thalor she couldn't deny. If it came to it, he could have rivaled the other two.
Time passed quickly as he continued to chat with her, trying to distract her, and eventually, they landed safely in front of Ikuto's castle. He kept her in his arms for a moment longer, grinning as he watched her struggle to free herself.
"Put me down..." Her voice pleaded as she pushed away from him again and again, only for him to pull her back against his chest. Eventually, he set her down gently. Though the flight had been impressive, she was relieved to have solid ground beneath her feet again.
"So then..." She hesitated, not wanting to go inside. She didn't want to tell them. She didn't want to see their faces, their reactions. With a heavy heart, she opened the door and made her way to the common room. It was near the kitchen, arranged so everything needed for Aruto and them was within reach.
As she entered, she found everyone gathered as expected. Su was happily playing with Aruto, tossing him gently into the air.
At the sound of the door, all eyes turned to Amu, who stood in the doorway. Most of the attention, however, went to Thalor, who stood behind her.
"Amu! You're back! How did it go? Where are the others?" Ran ran excitedly toward her friend and grabbed her hands, but she quickly noticed that Amu was no longer the person she knew. She had lost weight and seemed distant, even though she was standing right there.
Amu eventually sat down, and Thalor remained silently by her side. The words came heavily, but she knew she had to explain it to them. Speaking softly, she told them of Ikuto's death, of his fight, and the tragedy that ended it. She spoke of Tadase, who now felt nothing, a hollow shell of his former self. Then she told them about Thalor, how he came into her life and who he truly was and with that, that not all harpies were brutal and stupid.
When she finished, silence filled the room. The others stared at her as if trying to process everything they'd just heard. Ran was the first to react, her eyes wide with shock. "That... that's so much. But... why did you come back, Amu?" Her voice quivered, the confusion and pain in her words clear.
"To tell you and because of Aruto... He probably needs more milk. We need more time, but in the end, we still have to move forward and defeat Dia."
Su, who had taken the news quietly, stepped forward slowly, a serious expression on her face. "I'm so sorry, Amu. But you're not alone now. We're here for you."
Miki, usually calm and composed, seemed more pensive than usual. She said nothing, but her eyes conveyed her sympathy. It felt like a terrible dream—unreal. Yoru was the next to speak, and his reaction hit everyone the hardest.
"Ikuto..." Yoru whispered, his voice heavy with grief. The loss of his master, his friend, struck him like a blow. Yoru had always been in Ikuto's shadow, and their shared history ran deep. "It can't be true..." He turned away to hide his face, but the trembling of his shoulders betrayed that he could no longer hold back. "I felt our bond break, but I never thought it was because of this..." Within him he wanted to blame amu. If she wouldn't exist all of that would've never happened, but on the other hand ikuto would've probably just been an empty shell without her. It was ikutos own choice and he had to respect that and if he would leash out at amu he would disappoint Ikuto deeply.
It was clear Yoru was suffering the most, his grief palpable. Everyone in the room felt the loss, even if they couldn't fully comprehend it, but the pain was undeniable—not just for Amu but for everyone who had known Ikuto.
The pink-haired girl stood quietly and walked over to Aruto's cradle. Su had placed him there when Amu said she had something serious to share. Seeing him, she swallowed hard, and for the first time in a while, tears began to well up. Perhaps it was because it wasn't directly tied to Ikuto's death. She picked him up and gently held him to her chest.
Aruto gurgled happily at first, glad to see his mother again, but his mood quickly shifted as he sensed her distress.
"I wish I could be as carefree as you right now. You don't even know about your loss... don't even truly know your father," she murmured, pulling him away from her chest to look into his little face.
"Oh dear..." Thalor stood behind her, curious about her son, and quickly noticed how much he resembled Ikuto. Though he'd only seen him a few times with Dia, it was enough. "Except for his eyes, he really is almost his exact image..."
"Mhm..." Amu nodded somberly. It would be hard, but she loved him, even if he painfully reminded her of everything. He was, after all, the only part of her beloved Ikuto that remained. She kissed the baby softly on his forehead.
"I'll handle the milk supply... After that, I should leave again..." She sighed, looking down. "I'm really sorry to deliver such news and then leave right away, but I need to be with Tadase... somehow ensure he isn't lost forever... That was Ikuto's wish too."
"Whether you're here or not doesn't change the facts..." Yoru murmured brokenly.
"No... but I'd like to be here for you. I'm sorry..."
"You're suffering the most... it's okay." He couldn't imagine not feeling pain—it would destroy him. Their connection to Ikuto was the strongest. She had to suffer doubly.
After replenishing the milk and speaking with the others for a little while longer, trying to offer comfort despite her own thoughts constantly returning to Ikuto, she eventually set off with Thalor again. Evening had fallen, painting the sky in warm hues of red as they departed.
Thalor, noticing that Amu couldn't fully shake off her somber mood, tried to cheer her up. "Look at that, romantic, isn't it? Bet you've never seen a sunset like this before!" He gestured dramatically toward the setting sun, which painted the horizon in a vibrant spectrum of colors. "You already had three guys before. I'd fit in perfectly now—come on, give me a chance."
He flashed a wide grin and playfully nudged her nose. For a moment, it seemed like he might succeed in lightening the mood, but Amu only muttered softly, "Idiot…" Her gaze remained fixed on the sunset as if she were trying to lose herself in its colors.
Thalor didn't take her reaction too seriously. Despite his teasing, he sensed that she didn't truly resent him.
"You're really persistent, you know that?" she murmured after a while, finally speaking again, though her eyes still followed the sunset. "What do you even want from me?"
"What I want?" Thalor raised an eyebrow, grinning at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Maybe I just want you to smile once in a while. Is that too much to ask?"
Amu scoffed, but a small, almost imperceptible smile tugged at her lips. It wasn't much, but it was a start. For the rest of the flight, he kept teasing her until he noticed she had fallen asleep. At that point, he grew quiet, letting her rest peacefully. He held her securely, ensuring no harm could come to her.
In the last two weeks of that month, Dia's presence had become increasingly apparent. Though she herself never returned, her actions spoke loudly. Reports of destruction—villages burned to the ground and creatures brutally slain—reached the harpies. It seemed Dia was unstoppable, spreading fear and terror wherever she went. The group knew they would soon have to face her again, but for now, that reality loomed like a distant storm cloud rather than an immediate threat. The ultimate confrontation with Dia was inevitable, but in this period of healing, it was a distant, haunting prospect.
Meanwhile, the harpies continued to embrace their philosophy of survival and strength. To them, weakness was not an option. Even Ikuto's story—his death and its impact on Amu, Nagi, and Tadase—was seen by the harpies as a lesson in human resilience. Their belief that one must not dwell on the past but focus on the future was a guiding principle they hoped to impart.
Amu, Nagi, and Tadase understood that the time to move forward was drawing near. Though memories of Ikuto would never fully fade, over the course of these four weeks, they had found ways to regain focus—both for themselves and for the battles that still lay ahead.