Track 16: Everybody Wants To Be An Astronaut - Royal Republic
(Several pages are filled with sprawling diagrams for weapons, mostly lasers, and vehicles, mostly zeppelins, along with several others that are either scribbled out, repeated or a variation of. The handwriting is messy at times, elegant at others, and incomprehensible in some places, with multiple words written on top of each other.)
(There are also many, many drawings of Alastor in various states of death and dismemberment and one of his head mounted on a wall; there is also a detailed sketch of Angel Dust sitting in Adam's lap, both sleeping. Another sketch is of Husk, wearing sunglasses and playing a saxophone. Another is of Charlie, playing with Razzle and Dazzle. There are a few of Cherri Bomb, including one that is encircled by a heart.)
(The last sketch, almost photographic in detail, is of all the guests at the Happy Hotel at a round table, all drawing and smiling.)
Week 6:
Well, that was quite the experience. It's one thing to hear about someone living for ten thousand years, it's another to actually know. Not that I…actually know. I only saw mere glimpses of Sir Adam's life, but it was enough to know that being immortal (in a sense, we're all dead, technically) is no blessing.
Though I find myself envious, ah, that familiar old sensation…what wonders must he have seen? The Library of Alexandria, the construction of StoneHenge…are aliens real? Why in the ever-loving fuck haven't I asked that yet?!
IT'S OKAY BOSS, YOU-
No, no, no! Away with you! I told you not to speak when I'm inscribing my activities into my journal!
…Where was I?
Ah yes. I long dreamed of reaching the stars, delving deep beneath the sea, traveling around the world in my zeppelin…more than I did, anyway. Of course, it was only after I died that anyone gave a singular shit about exploring the rest of the world. Even my cousin Julie or whatever-
-WASN'T IT JULES, BOSS?
I said away with…yes, actually, that's correct. Very good, Egg Boi. Even my cousin that my family so lauded was quite interested in my ideas, even if he wasn't intelligent enough to actually do anything more than write about them. Fools. Sitting back and scoffing, never understanding my genius…If only Hell had been better…though in that case, I'm not entirely sure why I would think that.
(why did I think that? There was a machine I created, I think…)
That does make me think, though. All the times I've been swindled, stiffed on payments…
…Actually, that gives me an idea…
(there are various scribbles)
I suppose I should write of the events we have partaken in this week. It's hard to believe it's been almost two months since I joined the hotel…since I tried to spy on everyone. Charlie saved me, even after I'd planted cameras…I owe her. She's normally such a cheerful girl. Her disappointed looks are quite the low-blow. And here I've been, enjoying the peace and quiet, even becoming friendly with Husk, Angel Dust and Adam…Charlie's quite the nice girl, though her girlfriend is still suspicious. And judgemental. Like all us Sinners haven't done something bad before, what right does she have to be so critical? She's down here, too.
Oh, right. I actually enjoy the Death Maze, it's like something I would've designed, especially version 2.0 with the pitfalls and laserwalls and flamethrowers. It isn't often I get to enjoy being physically superior (why would I when I am so obviously mentally superior) but slipping through traps and watching Alastor getting blasted in the face by fire has been quite the treat.
(there is a picture of Alastor getting blasted in the face by fire, with a speech bubble reading, 'Oh bother.')
In fact, watching Alastor getting taken down a peg or two is one of the many benefits of being a resident of the Happy Hotel!
…The grandest benefit being access to The First Man. I thought, at least at first, that the Primeval Man would've been, well, a caveman, intellectually speaking. But no, to my surprise, despite his looks, he's very intelligent. When you have nothing but time and access to infinite knowledge, I'm not sure why it surprised me, but it did. Perhaps it is the swearing? I've spoken to him of my ideas, and not only has he been able to understand me (for the first time, ever!), he's even given me advice! I hope to ask him to collaborate soon…
Wait, where was I? Yes, the events of today. Angel Dust and I were working through the Death Maze…
…
There was a loud pop, and two people appeared on the observation balcony; Charlie, looking lightly charred, and Adam, looking highly amused.
"…Alright, Eye Candy," he started as she stripped off her jacket and started beating it against the couch to put out the embers and work the soot off, grinning as pink creeped up the back of her neck, "You know you're gonna have to explain why you jumped in front of a flamethrower wall for me, right?"
"It was just…instinct, you know?" Charlie replied, not looking back at him, "Just…trying to help…I-I would've done it for anyone…"
"Anyone including a guy who can't burn in anything other than magical fire?" He prodded, verbally and physically, poking between her shoulder blades, "What's going on? You've been clingy since I came back…not that I mind, or anything."
"Maybe I just missed you?" She said, biting her lip. It was hard to explain that when she saw Adam out of the corner of her eyes, all she could see was the youngest version of him, staring in confusion and heartbreak at her parents, her mother under that blanket.
"Uh-huh," Adam hummed, turning away with a shrug before stubbing his toe on the table, making the tea set rattle. "Ow, fuckin'-woah-!" He stumbled and began to fall. Charlie darted towards him, shouting his name…then he stopped falling and turned, grabbing her by the chin. "…I was gone for two days last week instead of one," Adam murmured, staring into her eyes and squishing her cheeks with his fingers, "The fuck happened, Charlie?"
He could feel her gulp, eyes flickering with anxiety. She withdrew from his hand and stepped into his space, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. "I really did miss you," she said, rubbing her face against his robe. Adam hugged her back with a sigh, and suddenly she saw him and Lilith hugging in the Garden, smiles on their faces and her stomach churned. "A-alright, let's check on the others-ah!"
Charlie suddenly pushed away from Adam, trying to hide her distress, except that he had reached out and grabbed the end of her long blonde hair. "See, you've been a goddamn yo-yo ever since last week! You get clingy, then you push away, then you get clingy again!" He grunted, lightly tugging on her hair, "For fuck's sake, Charlie! …Did I do something to piss you off?"
"…What did I do wrong?"
She gulped, hands falling to her sides. "…Promise you won't be mad…" She muttered lamely.
He gave her a flat look. "When someone fuckin' says that, it usually means it's gonna make them fucking furious," Adam squinted at her, "You better just tell me that shit before I start guessing."
"I…" Charlie sighed, closing her eyes, "I saw Immaculara…"
"…"
She opened her eyes, slowly looking back at Adam over his shoulder. Contrary to her expectations, his face was calm, placid and oh fuck his eyes were glowing.
"…You saw what?" He asked calmly, golden light burning in his eye sockets.
"…Immaculara," she answered softly.
"Oh, I see," he shrugged blithely even as he scowled, "Got bored one day, figured you should watch something and thought hey how about I watch Adam's mother-fucking memories! You watched my memories?! Invaded my privacy! The only way you could've done worse is cut my head open and root around in my goddamn skull!"
Charlie winced more and more as Adam shouted. "I just…wanted to know more about you…"
"Know more about me, right, so instead of fucking asking you went and grabbed the record of my entire life and-how the fuck did you even…" His eyes narrowed and he snarled, "Emily."
"Hey, she wanted to show us more about you, too!" Charlie defended, frowning at the First Man, "And if I had asked, would you actually tell me? I just…I want to know more! You know so much about me, and Husk and Angel, why shouldn't-"
"Because!" Adam yelled, looming over her, "They're my fucking memories! Everything I experienced in my entire goddamn life- private experiences! And-"
The Princess opened her mouth to argue, then paused. …Wait, why am I getting angry? I knew we shouldn't have watched it, but I went along with it…I knew it would change- her eyes widened in realization. …I'm not angry. I'm afraid what we did will ruin our relationship. She glanced up as Adam turned away, throwing his arms up as he raged…but his wings were trailing along the carpet, limp and unresponsive.
"-Might as well just jam a fucking projector in my ear, that'd be less invasive! And-"
Charlie breathed deeply. "I-it's easier to be angry," she started, voice firm, "…than it is to be afraid."
Adam froze, arms dropping to his sides. Slowly, he looked back at her over his shoulder…his expression was one of fear. Pure, unadulterated fear. "…What did you see?" He asked, voice hoarse, eyes shaking, "How much did you see, Charlie?" His wings slowly curled around him, building a wall of golden feathers between them.
Her heart lurched into her throat. "Not…not everything, Adam," she stepped forward, hand out to assure him with a touch, but he almost skittered away and her heart dropped to her feet, "We only saw a couple things, you were on a pirate ship, heh…and then you leading an army of Angels to invade Hell…"
"The Great Culling," he muttered, running a hand through his hair.
"And then before that, you and…Michael, I think, making plans, then you and Sera, talking…" She swallowed thickly, recalling what he had looked like then, gaunt, sleepless and afraid, "And then…I think you were in Hell, and there was an a-angel, who died in your arms…"
Adam looked up sharply, eyes wide.
"Just the part where she…died, nothing before or after that," Charlie added quickly, "I didn't know…about that, or the Culling or…I'm sorry, I…" She cleared her throat, "Just a quick moment of you and Miss Lute and some other angel, then…when you first got to Heaven. I…I knew your family didn't make it, but…you were alone in Heaven, Adam. I'm so sorry."
The First Man sighed, lowering his head. "…Wasn't your fault," he mumbled.
"And then…someone else accessed the memories, somehow, and went all the way…back to Eden."
"…What? Who would…the only people who have access to those memories are those who were there, Me, the Archangels and…" He frowned in thought, "Why would…"
Charlie cleared her throat again, drawing his eyes back to her. "We saw…what happened with…you and…my mom and…dad," she felt tears prickle in her eyes, "I just…I'm so sorry. You didn't…no one deserves that, and they just…" She breathed shakily, "…How can you even stand it, Adam?"
"Stand what?" Adam asked, resigned.
"Me," Charlie whispered, her fingers clutching at her head, "I'm…their daughter, and they…I look just like them! And-"
His hands, so much larger and warmer, gently clasped around hers and pulled them away. "I said it before, Charlie," Adam murmured, looking down at her with a sad smile, "You're not them. You're better. Good. Yeah, it was hard for me to…get over it, but when I look at you now, I don't see the Daughter of Lucifer and Lilith, I see…Charlie. The optimist, the dreamer, Hell's marshmallow, Hell's snowflake, the…the only good thing they ever made together…the best thing. I…"
"Adam…" she laid her hand atop his, leaning into the palm cupping her cheek.
"Don't pretend I was blameless, either," he sighed, stepping back from her, missing the way she tried to follow his hand, "I was…too passive. Too focused on making them happy…letting them talk over me. I was supposed to be the leader, the head of the family, but I…"
"That doesn't mean what they did was right!" Charlie protested, aghast.
"No shit," Adam shot back, leaning against a wall, letting his head rest on his arm, "But the greater you are…the greater the mistakes. The greater their impact…can't get much greater," the word was spoken with such thick sarcasm and bitterness that Charlie could taste it on her tongue, "Than The First."
The Princess of Hell wrung her hands, part of her wanting nothing more than to rush over to Adam, pull him into her arms and wrap them both in a blanket before telling the rest of the world to fuck off for a week…but another part burned with curiosity. "Adam?" She asked tentatively, "Why don't you want me to see what else is in Immaculara? Besides the…privacy thing." Though it was far too late for that.
"Because…there are things I've seen, Charlie, things I've done that…if you knew them…" He sighed shakily, "…You'd never look at me again. And I…I hate that thought…even if I know it's deserved."
She swallowed. "…I don't believe that," she said softly, getting a disbelieving snort from Adam, "I don't. There isn't anything you could tell me that would…change how I feel."
"You barely saw a fraction of my life," Adam pointed out quietly, "You thought what you saw was bad? It gets worse. Much, much worse."
"I don't care," Charlie said firmly, and he looked up at her from his slump, expression incredulous, "I mean it."
"…Do you know how many times I've heard that?" Adam asked, pushing away from the wall and stepping towards her; even despite his slump, he still loomed over her, "There are Fifty-Three full-time Eradicators, Charlie. A little more than half a hundred. There are thousands of part-time Eradicators. The difference between them…the full-time, my Girls…they watched Immaculara, all of it. And despite it all, they dedicated themselves to me, even knowing…" He shook his head, "Fifty-three, Charlie. Out of the millions and billions of human souls, out of the millions and billions of Angels, fifty-three could stand to be around me, to look me in the eye…what does that tell you?"
She frowned up at him then snapped her fingers, summoning a chair. She stepped onto the seat and made it grow, so that her eyes were level with his, without him having to bend down. She reached out and cupped his cheeks, running her thumbs over his stubble. "It tells me that Heaven is full of bitches," she declared, pulling a surprised chuckle from the man and making her smile in response. "Adam…the day we actually met, I was terrified."
"…I know," he said softly.
"No, you don't," Charlie shook her head, eyes locked on his, "I…used to have nightmares about you. The Lead Exterminator, who I watched slaughter people from my window, who staked out Sinners on my lawn so I could hear them scream as they slowly died in agony…Sometimes, I dreamed it was me, that you would break in through my window and-"
"-No, that wasn't for you-" His expression was one of horror.
"-I know," she soothed, stroking his cheeks, "The day we met, I was so scared I could barely stand. When the portal opened…"
"Charlie…"
She shook him gently. "Adam…I was scared of you then," Charlie insisted, "…I'm not scared of you now."
He opened his mouth to say something, then let it shut. Slowly, he reached up and touched her hand. "…You should be," Adam said softly.
She smiled. "Yeah well, people have been saying I'm crazy and stupid for a long time," she shrugged, "Maybe they're right."
He frowned. "Don't say that," he growled under his breath, "Not about yourself, Charlie."
"Then stop trying to scare me away," she growled right back, "Deal?"
Adam huffed and slumped slightly, amused. "…Okay, Charlie. Deal."
Charlie smirked victoriously…and then realized where they were. Alone. Standing eye-to-eye, her hands cupping his cheeks, his hand holding hers, his gilded irises peering into her cherry-red. Her heart thumped loudly, insistently, and she unconsciously began to lean forward.
"Charlie…" Adam murmured, voice low and rough, eyes molten with heat, "You're…leaning in."
"Yeah," she whispered, glancing down at his lips and licking her own.
His face warmed against her palms, a light flush of gold under his skin. "…We shouldn't." He didn't stop her.
"Probably," she hummed, feeling delicious heat creep up her neck and into her cheeks.
"…Are you gonna stop?" He asked, so softly his breath felt like feathers on her skin.
"No," she mumbled.
Their noses touched…
POP.
Angel Dust and Pentious appeared on the balcony, looking directly at them. The spider sinner gasped, eyes bulging, the snake sinner's jaw dropping as he pointed at the two. Adam and Charlie froze, staring back at them, lips puckered only inches away from each other.
POP.
Husk and Vaggie appeared behind Angel and Pentious, the bartender gaping at them…the fallen was brushing something from her skirt, turning to look up…
Husk's wing shot out, slapping her across the face. "Ow! The fuck, Husk?!" She spun towards him, rubbing her jaw with a scowl.
"Sorry Vaggie, I'm still a little twitchy from that last trap," he said hurriedly, giving her an apologetic look, patting her shoulder, "You alright? Need any ice?"
She shot him a narrow glare. "No, I'm fine," she turned to look at the room, and… "The fuck?"
Charlie was standing on a chair, Adam's head tucked under her arm as she scrubbed her knuckles against his crown. "…What?" She said with a rather shaky smile, "I've never noogied anyone, let alone an angel."
There was a second of silence. Then Vaggie shrugged. "Alright, whatever babe." She flopped down on one of the couches, snatching up a biscotti and crunching into it, "Whoever came up with the snare trap that yanks people up and dunks them headfirst into oil…" She shot Adam an angry, knowing look, "You fucking suck."
The First Man smiled mildly and sat down next to the fallen, to her surprise. "Bitch, you think I did that shit?" He poured himself a cup of tea and slurped it, "Nope. My suggestion was the flamethrower that lights the oil up afterwards."
"You son of a bitch," Husk swore with a chuckle, flicking a cookie at Adam's head, "I almost lost my hat to one of those bastards!"
"You're welcome!" Charlie chirped, sitting down next to Adam, subtly shaking her head at Angel's wide-eyed look. "So, how's everyone liking the new maze?"
Pentious dipped a cookie into his tea. "I feel it is, perhaps, a bit…unfair, with the traps. I understand they're supposed to be surprising, being traps and all, but when the only indication of one is slightly mismatched grass, the hum of lasers powering up and the hiss of gas on a time limit…" He blinked at the surprised looks they sent him. "…What? I am a superior snake, after all! I can sense these things!"
"True," Adam nodded, toasting the sinner with a teacup, "And in this case, yeah, they're supposed to be fuckin' unfair, it's teaching you to respect the traps themselves. And that's 'cause-"
"-Next time, the locations and directions of the traps will be split between the map and the compass! Then you'll have to rely on each other even more!" Charlie cheered, eyes sparkling as she clapped her hands.
"Oh come on!" Everyone except Adam, Pentious and the Princess groaned, "The Death Maze again?!"
"Fuck yeah, 'the Death Maze again!'" The First Man whooped, high-fiving Charlie, "The Death Maze kicks ass! You're lucky we've been building up to it!"
"Yeah guys, Adam wanted to start out with hidden buzzsaws and swinging guillotines with gas mines and plasma turrets…" Charlie sighed longingly, before frowning, "…I thought you guys enjoyed the Death Maze? I mean, it's not like you actually die or anything."
"See, it is kinda cool the first time or two, but after five fuckin' times it gets, well I can't say boring…" Angel wavered a hand and gave up with a shrug, "It's boring, yeah."
Husk, Pentious and Vaggie nodded in agreement.
Adam and Charlie traded disappointed looks. "…Alright fine, we'll think of other things to do besides the Death Maze," the First Man grumbled grudgingly, crossing his arms and coming very close to pouting.
Charlie did actually pout, tapping her chin in thought. "…Wait a minute, I have an idea!" She cheered, "I need to try a few things out, maybe read a book or two and experiment a bit…but ooh, you guys are gonna love it!"
"If we're gonna love it so much, babe, you gonna tell us what it is?" The fallen asked, leaning around Adam to look at her girlfriend.
"Nnnnope!" The Princess sang teasingly, "You'll just have to wait and find out!" She giggled to herself, rubbing her hands together like a supervillain.
Pentious swallowed and spoke up. "Er, excuse me, Lady Charlie," he started tentatively, wringing his hands, "If you don't mind, would you excuse Sir Adam, Angel Dust, Husk and myself from the sharing circle today? I have a project I'd appreciate their input on…"
Charlie glanced at Adam, who shrugged. "I mean…sure, I guess, it was gonna be freeform today. What's up, Pentious?"
The snake sinner cleared his throat. "It is, a, uh man thing. Come along, gentlemen, to my lab!"
As the four men stood up and started to leave, Vaggie raised a hand. "If this is a 'man thing' aren't you gonna wait until Alastor gets done?"
Pentious glanced back at her, incredulity written in all of his eyes. "Ha!" he scoffed, and left.
"…Wow, that's probably the most damage Pentious's ever done to Alastor, and he's not even here for it," Charlie snickered, sliding next to her girlfriend with a slightly guilty smile, "Soooo, babe…have you thought about joining me and Adam when we train? Could be fuuun~"
The fallen jumped as if shocked. "W-what? Fuck no!" She grabbed Charlie's hand, "Why do you even train with him, Charlie? I could teach you!"
"Yeah, but you're not almost ten-thousand years old, honey," the Princess replied, "He just has more experience, as a fighter and as a teacher. Come on, babe, just think about it…you and me and him, alone in a forest clearing. Maybe you want to work out your frustrations on him, 'cause you'd actually get to hit him if you sparred," she pointed out, mentally apologizing to Adam when interest sparked in Vaggie's eye, "Just imagine it, babe…you've been battling it out, he's talking shit the entire time, but getting sweaty and tired. Then, right as he goes for the final strike, you sweep him off his feet…and now he's on the ground…at your mercy…"
Vaggie shivered, a blush creeping up her neck as Charlie murmured into her ear. "…M-my mercy…" she unconsciously echoed.
"Yeah, babe…you know he wouldn't quit talking, so you might as well shut him up, hmm~?" The optimist continued, lightly sliding an arm around her girlfriend's waist, "And, well…he couldn't stop you, could he? You could do anything you wanted to him…" Charlie smirked, desperately ignoring the thudding of her heart and the heat in her cheeks as she lightly stroked Vaggie's thigh, "Or…while he's looking at you, while you're sweating together…I could grab him from behind…I'm strong, babe, you know that…I could get him in the right position, restrain him…And then…we could do whatever we want…"
Vaggie swallowed thickly as her girlfriend purred in her ear, her palms sweaty and face on fire. "What…whatever I…" She mumbled, biting her lip.
"Mmhm~," Charlie hummed, halfway hugging her lover, the fallen's arm buried in her chest, "I'll hold him down, make him…helpless, and then…you could make him do anything, make him yours…make him your bitch…" She mentally apologized to Adam again, especially as Vaggie shivered, "…Make him ours. Can't look down on us when he's on the ground, can he? Can't insult us when his mouth is being used for…something else…"
The fallen was practically panting at that point, her skin covered in goosebumps, heart thundering in her ears. "I…I…" Her mouth was incredibly dry, eye wide as images raced through her mind, "T-that…"
"We've got time," the Princess murmured, fluttering her eyelashes against her girlfriend's cheek, "Think about it, okay?" She kissed a spot behind Vaggie's ear, under the lobe and just behind her jaw.
Vaggie jumped like she'd been touched with a livewire. "I-I have to go!" She shouted, a touch of desperation in her tone, "Bathroom! G-gotta pee!" And then she fled, appropriately like the hounds of Hell were snapping at her heels.
Charlie leaned back on the couch, a victorious smirk on her lips. She recognized the scent Vaggie had left behind, and she was so tempted to corner her lover in 'the bathroom' and spark their heat into something even hotter, but she knew that would only slow her painstaking progress. Her smirk faded slightly as she thought back to only a bit before, staring Adam in the eye, the overwhelming desire to wrap him in her arms and kiss him silly…
…I almost cheated on my girlfriend. And I guess some would say I already am. And now, I'm manipulating my girlfriend into a threesome…I mean, is it 'manipulating' when I know she wants it too? She agreed with me when I said I know she's attracted to Adam in the pool…she's just being stubborn and I'm opening her eye to the possibilities…
She shook her head and slumped, rubbing her temples.
I guess I really am my parents' daughter…
In the past, that would've made her proud. In the present…she didn't know how that made her feel.
Lost in a storm of thought, Charlie got to her feet and walked off.
POP.
"-She spent thirty minutes using a spike pit as a jungle gym!" Alastor announced, his eyes glowing like the dials of a radio as Nifty hung off his arm, teeth practically locked together in a rictus grin, "I must demand that someone else wrangle this…this…" He blinked at the empty observation lounge, the table scattered with half-drunk tea and nibbled cookies. "…Did they…forget about me?!"
Nifty gasped, eye wide with glee. "CLEAN!" She shouted, arms raised in a cheer before she dove at the mess on the table.
Alastor's jaw worked soundlessly, his knuckles white around his cane, the scratching of static hanging around him like a shroud. "This…this will not do. Not at all." Despite the heat in his voice…his eyes were dim and low.
Nifty cheerfully ignored him, and the lounge was otherwise unreactive to his ominous declaration.
…
"Adam…what the fuck was that?" Husk asked as they walked down the hall towards Pentious' room.
"I don't want to talk about it," Adam grunted, wings rustling.
"Um, I feel like we kinda should," Angel interjected hesitantly, a hand raised to make a point, "Because, you know…Charlie's got someone already. Don't get me wrong, I think you two would be cute as shit together, but you know-"
"-Indeed, Sir Adam, I think you of all people would understand what infidelity does to-" Pentious gulped as Adam rounded on them, wings flaring out to fill the hallway, his eyes glowing.
"How 'bout we talk about that instead, hmm?" The First Man growled, a snarl on his lips, "Talk about how you motherfuckers went flicking through my memories like a goddamn photo album. What…if anything, were you thinking?!"
Husk gulped. "I mean, can you blame us for-" His eyes widened as fingers dug into his skull.
"Yes! I fucking well can blame you for that!" Adam snapped, a hand firmly but lightly gripping the bartender's head, "How would you feel if I popped your head open and poked around, hm?"
"Adam, man, you know a lot more about us than we do you," Angel Dust said softly, reaching out to lay a hand on Adam's wrist, giving him a concerned look, "I shared things with you, and you guys, that…I've never told anyone. Me, I'm not sorry for being curious. But I am sorry for…I dunno what to call it, watching your memories, I guess?"
Adam sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose, letting Husk go. "…Sorry, Husk," he muttered, turning away from them, "I can't blame you for being curious, but I sure as shit can for actually digging into my memories…and what happened with Charlie, well nothing happened-"
"-But it was very close, Sir Adam," Pentious pointed out, fingering the brim of his hat, "You were trading breaths. A second later-"
"-I know," the First Man grunted and sighed, shoulders slumping, "That won't happen again. It was just…a moment…"
The three sinners traded looks. They could hear the quiet longing in Adam's voice.
"If this was all you wanted to talk about, Pentious," Adam warned, clenching his knuckles, "Then I'm going to go kill something."
"Actually!" The inventor piped up, "That wasn't, but killing things will most certainly be involved!" He clapped his hands excitedly, "To my lab, fellows! Huzzah!"
"Gay," Angel muttered with a smirk, following the snake with the others.
The interior of Pentious' room was exactly what it would be for a scatter-brained inventor; half-made inventions scattered on tables and chairs, bundles of wire, circuit boards and various components in boxes, blueprints and sketches taped to the walls or half-rolled into tubes. Four of his Egg Boiz were rather inexpertly trying to put together what looked like a cannon, with one shouting directions at the other three as they fumbled with screw drives, a hammer and a soldering iron.
"…How is your room so messy in a self-cleaning hotel?" Husk asked incredulously.
"W-well, I at least know where everything is!" Pentious declared, rubbing an eye sheepishly, "M-most of the time, anyway. I couldn't find anything when it cleaned up, so I politely asked it to stop."
"Christ, just lookin' at this place makes my brain wig out," Angel complained, rubbing his eyes then jumping and looking behind himself, "Pentious, one of your Egg Boiz is groping my ass."
"No, no, no," Adam muttered, clapping his hands together. A wave of light swept over the room, wiping away the clutter and leaving behind a basket neatly stuffed with tightly-rolled blueprints, a cabinet with drawers of organized parts and a workbench with the disassembled cannon on it and a wall of tools. Along with a plate of lightly steaming toasted sandwiches on the table. "There."
Pentious sighed as he looked around the room. "…I'll never find anything now," his eyes fell on a kennel where his Egg Boiz were locked up and chuckled.
"Whatever you're fuckin' looking for, just put your hand over the container and think of it, it'll jump into your damn hand," Adam said, sitting down next to the table and grabbing a sandwich, "So what's this about?"
The snake sinner put a hand over the basket of blueprints and smiled as one leapt into his hand, which he slapped onto the table and unrolled with aplomb. "This!" He announced grandly, gesturing to a diagram of something that looked to be a cross between four TVs welded together with an antenna poking out of the top, "I call it, The Turnabout Device! As Vox does his little mind-raping shenanigans, when transmitted over distance and through screens, it generates a unique resonating field that overwrites the higher thoughts of the watcher (if they have any) and makes them highly suggestible! But with this device, when hooked to a source of the transmission, say an antenna, it absorbs said resonance field into itself and nullifies Vox's signature, leaving it able to be used by any! Once enough energy is gathered, it results in a resonance cascade that, within a certain area, spreads the effect and allows the user to brainwash all within! BWAhahaha!"
Adam, Angel and Husk traded looks. The spider sinner swallowed a bite of sandwich. "So, uh, that's great n' all, but what do you want? I ain't gonna build something like that, fuck no, not mentioning I ain't smart enough for that. I mean, I'm good with my hands but I never tried making machines…" The former pornstar looked at his free hands searchingly, "Hm…"
"Same," Husk added, "The thought of controlling someone against their will doesn't sit right with me, not unless it's the only option…and even then."
"Well, I don't need anyone to help me build it, it was built months ago," Pentious revealed with a shrug, "And it works, too! Not perfectly, perhaps, but I used it on a sinner named Gordon in a test chamber and he followed my commands. The issue-"
Angel scoffed in disbelief. "You actually built something that works? Stop the fuckin' presses."
"Go to Hell!" The inventor snapped, all eyes glaring at the spider sinner in anger, "I mean…fuck off! I am well regarded- if not particularly lauded- among other inventors in Hell! My devices work, or did you forget the hole I blasted into the hotel?!" His hood flared, "Yes, perhaps they don't work quite as intended or as well as I'd like, but they do indeed work! I-!"
"Penty," Angel interrupted, "Sorry, alright? All I've ever heard about ya was from Al and the times you tried to blast us, and that wasn't that good an impression, ya know?"
Pentious sighed gustily. "I understand that, I apologize for snapping, but the issue is that I successfully built this device. For a man called 'Dee' specifically, who runs his own little gang in one of the larger neighborhoods; he's no Vee, but he is rather successful. He wanted a device that could block Vox's mind control signal and was willing to pay quite a bit for it. He'd heard of me and sent me a commission; I needed materials to build my War Zeppelin and funds to purchase them, so I accepted." He tossed his hat onto the table and scratched his head, "Turning the signal to my benefit was the natural conclusion, I would receive my payment and some decently intelligent minions. After I'd tested it and just before deploying, well…"
"He stiffed ya and not in the fun way," Angel Dust concluded.
"Precisely," the inventor took a rather vicious bite out of a sandwich. "Gentlemen, Angel Dust-"
"-Fuck you-"
"-What I propose is not building my Turnabout Device, but destroying it," Pentious proposed, "Dee promised me payment, then not only stole my invention and used it for himself, he also stole my idea! In fact, one might say his actions are what led to my approaching Vox, becoming indebted to him and subsequently having to spy on the hotel to repay that debt. It is a matter of dignity! Of pride! Revenge! …And I cannot accomplish this on my own, which…is why I am asking for your help."
Adam arched an amused eyebrow. Pentious had said it was a matter of pride, and yet here he was, setting it aside by asking. "It's not just about destruction or remuneration, though, right?" He offered, tapping a finger on the table, "You want to fuckin' use it."
The serpentine inventor nodded bashfully, quailing a little under the accusing looks sent by Angel and Husk. "Just the once! Only once! It's one of my more successful inventions! I mean…it was supposed to cover four city blocks, but only covers one…and the mind control aspect isn't as refined as Vox's, it induces a more fanatical sort of devotion…but still! I'd very much like to experience mindless adulation at least once in my life! Is that too much to ask?"
"Nah, not for me, not as long as you have some way of protecting these two from the signal," the First Man replied, pointing at the other two sinners, "I've been jonesing for a bit of the ol' ultra-violence."
Husk coughed into his hand, unsuccessfully trying to hide a smile. At Adam's curious look, he grudgingly answered with. "I mean, have you really?"
Adam narrowed his eyes, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "…Yes? I'm a pretty violent person, you know."
Angel muffled a snicker. "Are ya?" He teased, grinning, "I mean…"
"How many times, exactly, have you burst into song about your feeeeeelings~?" The bartender sang, making the spider sinner burst out laughing and even Pentious chuckled as he gathered a few things from his neatly organized drawers.
The First Man stared at them silently. Then he snapped his fingers and Husk vanished. A second later, he snapped his fingers again and Husk was back, but now soaking wet with his hat askew.
"…Fair," the cat sinner muttered, flapping his wings and flicking water all over Angel who hissed like a cat.
"I will drop each and every one of you into the pool," Adam grumbled, eyeing the devices Pentious was putting together. "Oh, I see what this is." He reached over and snagged one for himself, swiftly taking it apart, "I'm assuming the resonance has both a visual and audio component."
"Indeed, Sir Adam, though in the case of the Turnabout Device it is audio only," Pentious explained, holding up what looked like a bulky, steampunk earpiece, "The visual component must be unique to Vox's television face when the resonance is passed through that medium."
"Why are you using batteries?" Adam asked, fitting a device back together into a slim hook, "Use a Wide Leech Enchantment instead, it'll draw on the residual power in the air for energy, no need for bulky power sources."
"Ah…" The inventor paused, hands falling to his lap, "Could you, perhaps…show me?"
"Yeah." The First Man stood up and swiftly circled the table, sitting next to Pentious and eagerly explaining what he was doing. The snake sinner listened raptly, nodding as he tinkered with a device.
Angel Dust shuffled his chair next to Husk, watching Adam and Pentious technobabble at each other. "Ya know, this is so not where I thought I'd be, back when I first joined up." He shook his head in amazement. "Not that I can actually say I was thinkin' much of the future when I did."
"I know what you mean," the bartender nodded, withdrawing his flask and taking a drink before offering it to Angel, "It's odd, looking back. At first I thought Adam would just find any excuse to kill me or everyone else, not that I cared, but after all the time we've spent here I look back and wonder why I could think that. It's not at all what I expected."
Angel leaned his head on Husk's shoulder, handing the flask back. "Good though, right?"
"Very," Husk nodded, making no move to dislodge the spider sinner. "…Can you understand a word they're saying?"
"Are ya kiddin'? Fuck no."
…
The section of Pentagram city that was home to Dee and his gang was not very important or flashy compared to the Vee's cityscape, with many lower-end clubs and whatnot lining the streets which, being the streets in Hell, were naturally chaotic and dirty. At the center of the neighborhood, like Times Square, there was a large building with most of its windows intact and a minimal amount of graffiti. It was no skyscraper, but loomed over the rest of the buildings impressively.
Traffic, foot and vehicular, parted as four figures strode down the road. Angel Dust, Husk, Pentious and Adam as Shimano, each wearing matching black suits and ties, calmly walking up to the building. They came to a stop at the foot, standing shoulder-to-shoulder and looking up as it loomed ahead.
"So, this is Century Plaza…" Angel muttered, narrowing his eyes and rolling his wrists.
"Hasn't particularly changed much," Pentious nodded, taking a deep breath.
"Four guys against a whole building full of gangsters…" Husk murmured, shuffling his cards.
"They don't stand a damn chance," Adam concluded, cracking his knuckles. He traded glances with the other men, getting nods in return. "Party time."
They walked up the steps, pulled open the doors and stepped inside. The interior of Century Plaza was much like the exterior in that it was less messy than most places, but still filthy. Every Sinner inside stopped and turned to stare at the four, their eyes wide and oddly empty with a subtle pattern playing on the surface of their eyeballs.
On the wall, a loudspeaker crackled to life. "Well, well, if it isn't the slithery little snake, slithering from his hole," a masculine voice chuckled, "I'm assuming this is some sort of revenge gambit?"
"You assume correctly, pissant!" Pentious snarled, jabbing a finger at camera that was facing them, "I've come to redress my grievances, you thieving fuck!"
The voice tutted mockingly. "This is Hell, little snake, what did you expect? …No seriously, what did you expect? That I'd actually pay you?"
"We had a deal!" The inventor replied.
"So? Ah, whatever. The device does need some maintenance, I'm sure once I get you a full blast you'll be happy to help." The speakers screeched with Hellish feedback, making the Happy Few wince at the noise but otherwise be unchanged. "…Figures. Nutz, we've got intruders in the building! Kill all of them except the snake, just whoop his ass until he can't move then drag him up here!"
"…Wait, did he just call them 'Nutz?'" Angel asked incredulously.
"Indeed, that is the name of the gang," Pentious answered, slipping hand into his suit jacket, eyes narrowing, "Which makes them-"
"DEE'S NUTZ, DEE'S NUTZ, DEE'S NUTZ!" The mind-controlled Sinners chanted, grins of anticipation on their faces as they reached for whatever weapon or blunt object was closest.
"Hold on!" Husk stepped forward, hands up. Incredibly, the Sinners actually stopped moving towards them, "There's something I need to say before we start!"
The bartender cleared his throat.
"I've come here to kick ass and chew bubblegum," he announced in a low, threatening growl that carried throughout the room, "And I'm all out of bubblegum."
There was a moment of silence.
Adam tapped Husk on the shoulder, holding out a stick of bubblegum while already chewing on one himself. Husk took it, unwrapped it and shoved it in his mouth as Angel Dust and Pentious did the same. "Alright, one down." He cracked his neck. "One to go."
And then it was chaos.
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A/N: (message from the future: the version of this story on Ao3 is up to chapter 21, and up to chapter 22 on my Pa-treon)
And we're back with another chapter of Earn It! Much shorter than last time, thank god, but no less packed with stuff. Got some of Pentious' Diary, and then some more Charlie and Adam - hey look, invading someone's privacy has consequences that can't be mitigated with 'I'm sorry' but require reflection and honest conversation and understanding!
Holy crap, it's almost like things are complicated.
That being said…oh boy, was it hard to stop things with just an almost-kiss, but it's good for both of them to actually reflect and understand just why and how much they feel. Plus, I mean, them getting interrupted was pretty funny.
And hey, is that progress on the OTT? Oh my, it actually is. Ooooh. That'll be fun to dig into.
And look at that, The Boys (minus Alastor) have started coming together as bros, like exposing their deepest regrets and shames and leaning on each other has brought them together! Without it being time skipped or anything! I mean, mostly. Plus, you get some more from Pentious, find out a bit more about him pre-hotel, and even some of his inventions. The really juicy stuff is coming next chapter, and if you thought that last part was packed with references, oh boy just wait til you see the next one.
Also, I've always wondered, adding to the classic 'I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum' line, does that make it seem more badass or funny? Let me know.
Big thanks, as always, to NSG for being *the man* he's just updated his new story, why not give it a look and tell him I sent you?
Thanks also, to all the supporters and the peeps in discord, my own and the FMC.
And thank you, for taking the time to read my little story. It's been a blast writing it so far, I hope it's been just as fun reading it. If it was, why not leave a review or comment or all that? If it wasn't, well I'm just glad I distracted you on the journey of life. Remember to stay hydrated and stay safe!
Stay Awesome.
~Soleneus
P.S.: Yeah, this much shorter chapter works way better…which is why the next chapter is almost twice as long, I couldn't help it. It feels a little crazy, looking back. I mean, I think this is the most locked-in on a story I've ever been, and I'm gonna be honest…it feels good. Real good.
…Maybe not for all the other stories I've been neglecting, but hey, no one's perfect.
We're getting there, though. Oh I finally figured out Vaggie's character, I can't wait to finally get to those moments. The anticipation, man…
Anyways, summer's almost over. Finally. Bring on the chill of Fall, I am so ready.
Stay Awesome Some More.
~still Soleneus