Earn It

by Soleneus

Many want it, many more believe they deserve it, only some actually strive for it and few ever earn it. Charlie sets out to follow her dream with help from an unexpected source.

19. Pacific Coast Party

I don't know why FF keeps removing all the italics and whatnot and at this point I can't be fucked to fix it.

Track 19: Pacific Coast Party - Smash Mouth

"Okay!" Pansy cheered, clapping her hands, "Now that we've figured out where to hold the party, I should tell the girls!" She reached up to touch her halo, then paused as a rather devious look came over her sweet face, "…In maybe thirty minutes or so."

"Oh?" Adam asked, peering at the angel with the beginnings of a smirk, "What ever could you use those thirty minutes for? Bridge? Cribbage? Baccarat? Or-"

Pansy jumped into his arms with a small flap of her wings, caressing his cheek. "It's been too long since we had some time together, you and me," she murmured, eyes glittering, licking her lips, "And, well, it is an important day…"

"Babe, we spent 'you and me' time together like, three days ago," he pointed out.

"I know! Too long!" She sighed dramatically.

Adam nuzzled her neck, making the angel giggle. "You sure you don't want to wait until toni-"

Pansy pressed her cheek to his and whispered loud enough for the entire table to hear. "Adam I'm about to tear your clothes off with my teeth whether it's in your room or right here I don't give a single solitary fu-" They vanished with a small pop.

"…So, does anyone wanna explain what the fuck you guys were talking about?" Angel Dust complained, trading mildly frustrated looks with Husk and Pentious.

Charlie stared at the spot Adam and Pansy had just occupied, her previous elation dying. Blinking, she shook her head and turned back to the table, finding Vaggie with her arms crossed and studiously glaring at the table. "You guys remember the pool, right? Well, there's a beach setting which we're gonna use for a big party, and you're all invited! Isn't that great?" She cheered, clapping her hands before pausing, "…Wait, I don't know how to throw a beach party…"

Nifty gasped, eye wide. "…There will be so much to clean! Sand…it's coarse n' rough n' irritating…and it gets everywhere!" She whooped, jabbing a finger at the sulking catgirl maid, "KeeKee! Prepare for the next battle! Prepare to lose!"

KeeKee hissed in response.

Angel fist-pumped, rapping his knuckles against Husk's shoulder. "Shit, I'm always down to party! And these are the wild kinda angels, too! I bet they know how to really tear a place up!"

The bartender nodded thoughtfully. "I'm guessing they know all kinds of drinks, too…damn, some of them were around before cards were! Finally, some worthy opponents…our battles will be legendary!" He couldn't help but grin at the thought.

"What? Husker ol' chum, I thought our battle was legendary?" Alastor affected an offended posture, ruined somewhat by his ever-present smile, sniffing theatrically, "Oh dear me, is this what it's like to be traded in for a younger model? You cad!"

"That was a battle of cheating, not cards," Husk shot back, shuffling his deck.

"Oooh…" Pentious gasped, eyes wide in anticipation, "All of the history they must've seen, the leaps in science and logic they must've observed! The chance to pick their brains…!" He bounced in his seat excitedly, before slumping, "…Ah. They probably hate us."

"You especially, Mister Snake," the Radio Demon pointed out with a chuckle.

The inventor squinted at him. "All things considered, they'd probably hate the unrepentant cannibal more than a prideful if scaly inventor…which is my opening! Eureka, Alastor, you might actually be of a benefit to me for once!"

Angel Dust snickered at the offended look on Alastor's face. "Nice one, Penchy." They high-fived.

"…Why?" Vaggie muttered, hand clenched into a shaking fist, "Why would you invite them here?!" She yelled, jumping to her feet with an incredulous glare aimed at Charlie, who balked, "What the fuck were you thinking?! Did you forget who they are, what they do, Charlie?!"

The Princess frowned at her girlfriend. "No, I didn't forget, do I have to bring up the whole 'impaling Sinners on my front lawn' thing again?" She sighed sharply, "Look, babe, this is an incredible opportunity, not just because the Eradicators are coming to Hell for something other than E-Day, but because they have firsthand knowledge of Heaven! Adam's great, but he's not unbiased and here's a chance to corroborate! Also to ask questions, make connections…add ideas to my board for exercises…"

"Less Death Maze, fuck yeah!" The spider sinner whooped, "Good enough for me! Bring on the bitches!"

"Hey, the Death Maze is great!" Charlie retorted, hands on her hips, "Right, Adam…?" She looked around and slumped, remembering where the First Man was. "…Oh." Her disappointment was palpable.

"Oh please, like an angel who practically molested Adam in front of us and is currently dickriding him is gonna be 'unbiased!'" Vaggie shot back, throwing her hands up.

"…Are you angrier about the bias or the dickriding?" Husk asked with a squint.

"Shut. Up." Vaggie hissed, not answering the question.

Under the table, Husk traded fist bumps with Pentious.

"Vaggie…" Charlie sighed again, reaching out to lay a hand on her girlfriend's arm, "I'm sorry you don't like it, but I simply can't pass up on this chance, not when redemption is on the line. We're gonna throw Pansy her 3000th Birthday Party like I promised, no take backs."

Vaggie stared at Charlie, jaw working soundlessly, incredulity in her eye. "…Fine," she said hoarsely, tugging her arm away from Charlie's hand, "Enjoy your damn party." She turned away and began to stomp towards the door.

The Princess bit her lip, her expression firming. "Vags," she called, making the fallen glance back at her over a shoulder, "You're coming, too."

Vaggie gaped at her girlfriend. "W-wha-why?" She sputtered, her eye watering, "I don't want anything to do with this, why would you-how could you…C-Charlie, why?"

Charlie waved a hand at the hotel and the sinners around the table. "Vaggie, this whole thing is about redeeming people, everyone who actually wants to try, who want to leave Hell and go to Heaven…and that includes me," she admitted with a little shrug and small, sad smile,"I don't want to be down here forever…and I don't want to leave you here, either. I love you, Vags, and I want us to go to Heaven together…and that's why I can't pass up on this, and why I can't let you pass up on this either."

The fallen stared at her, uncomprehending. "…Fine," she eventually muttered, turning away from her, hunching her shoulders.

The Princess gently embraced Vaggie from behind. "You don't have to be there for the whole party, just a couple of hours, maybe get some of the cake, you know?" She squeezed her girlfriend gently, "Enjoy yourself, talk to other people…" Charlie shrugged, "Besides, I mean…they're angels, how exciting could an Angelic Party really be?"

…

"-CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!" Charlie's throat worked furiously, something white and sticky splashing on her cheek, tongue wrapped around the tube between her lips as an angel poured a jug of root beer down a funnel and into her mouth. She finally swallowed the last, spitting the tube as the angels leaned into look at her…and she released a thunderous, ground-shaking belch. The angels blinked at her. She blinked back. "WOOOOO!" They cheered raucously, trading high-fives and laughing as Charlie did the same.

"The new Chug Queen!" One angel with white and black striped hair called, lifting Charlie's hand into the air, "All hail!"

"HAIL!" The angels shouted jokingly.

"Keg stand?" The angel offered as a few others rolled out kegs of drink.

"No thanks, Solemn!" The Princess denied, working her way out of the small crowd gathered near the bar. With a breathless giggle she stopped by the bar to grab a couple virgin Mai Tais from a distracted Husk before skipping past a face-painting station manned by Terminator, flopping back on a sun chair next to Vaggie under the shade of an umbrella. "Here you go, babe!"

"…Thanks," Vaggie muttered, taking a small sip of the brightly-colored drink, dutifully ignoring the angel not even three feet away, who'd scooted her chair under their umbrella without saying a word before lighting up a cigarette that smelled like cloves and then passing out. She was somehow sleeping and chain-smoking at the same time, completely dead to the world.

Charlie laughed to herself, stretching her long, pale legs out into the sun as she settled back in her chair. "Well, I was completely wrong!" She admitted without shame, "Angelic parties are fun!"

"…Yeah."

The Princess of Hell cast her gaze over the beach, taking in the party. The first thing she'd noticed was the wildly varying hair colors; most had the apparently angel-standard white and even then in a variety of styles, but just as many had red, blue, green, purple, orange or a combination, to the point that the ones who were blondes or brunettes were the outliers.

First, there was the bar that Husk was manning, flanked by tiki torches and with a straw roof over top; though maybe 'manning' was the wrong word as just as often as he made drinks, an angel would hop over the counter to make her own. At the same time, the bartender was also playing some sort of wildly-complicated game involving tiles with five Eradicators, a grin on his cat-like face. At the tables next to them, a few other angels were playing poker or something like that, though given that everyone was wearing swimsuits it definitely wasn't the strip variation, and nearby a few others were playing a hybrid of ping-pong and beer pong.

It had surprised Charlie at first, just how many of the angels refused to touch anything mildly alcoholic; sure, some of them could down whiskey like water, but most of them drank soda or virgin cocktails or from a massive punch bowl with liquid that seemed to change colors every minute or so.

Next there was the face-paint station. Charlie wasn't sure how Terminator could see as well as she did with a massive braid of white hair covering one eye, but the angel seemed to be having a grand time painting little hearts and whatnot on people's faces.

Then there was a gazebo, providing shade for the couches, TVs and game consoles within where fifteen angels plus Nifty were playing an eight-on-eight deathmatch in some game where 'power-armored space marines' (whatever that meant) fought aliens. The players were all booing and heckling each other as gunfire and death screams rang out from the screens.

There was another gazebo with more couches and TVs, but instead of a shooter game they were playing something called 'Smash Bros.' and were ironically the more violent. "-come the fuck on!" Angel Dust shouted, "Kirby is cheating!"

"Geeeet sucked!" A blonde angel crowed, "And off the platform you go!"

"Argh!"

Charlie chuckled to herself and let her gaze wander. There was a dance floor nearby where more angels were holding a breakdancing competition, with Pentious DJing…well, he was learning how to from an angel with long gray hair and a polite smile.

And near that was a long table loaded down with all sorts of snacks, healthy and unhealthy with-

"Morningstar," an emotionless, feminine voice spoke next to Charlie, making her jump and look around. Two angels stood next to her, both wearing expressionless faces, with matching orange eyes that ironically burned with various emotions. Their hair was white, with one having a short, messy bob and the other a messy, off-center ponytail; the latter wore a mesh shirt colored lime green and the other wore a waist wrap of neon orange over matching blue bikinis with Adam's A symbol on both breasts. "We wish to engage you in a physical, team-based competitive activity."

Charlie blinked. "…What?"

The one on the left, the orange one, held out a volleyball.

"Oh!" The Princess took another slurp of her Mai Tai and eagerly hopped to her feet, "Sure! C'mon Vaggie, let's show 'em how we do it!"

The fallen let herself be tugged up, though her reluctance was clear on her face.

"Yes, show us," the green one nodded, the angels leading the way down the beach where a net was set up near the water.

Behind her sunglasses, Charlie took it all in once again; the white sand, the sun burning overhead but with a breeze strong enough to cool but not strong enough to kick up dust coming off of the emerald water…plus she was absolutely surrounded by babes. Every single angel was incredibly hot in some form or another; some were smaller in the chest, some were larger, some were softer and others were outright muscular, some were tall and others short, but all of them were cute, beautiful or both and displaying it all. None of them wore a one piece swimsuit, most wore a bikini or a two-piece, and some had even come dressed in what looked more like strategically-placed tape.

Adam had stood by the portal and introduced them all by name as they came through, and a few had stood out for…fairly obvious reasons.

"This is Australia!" The First Man introduced, kissing the angel on the lips as she stepped through.

She was tall, stately and muscled, with a braid of honey-brown hair wrapped around her neck, and an odd, flame-like tattoo that began somewhere under the triangle of her bikini, traveled over her abs, between her breasts and ended on her sternum. Her eyes were bronze and her features, though beautiful, were sharp and predatory. Charlie could only compare her to a hawk that had sighted its prey and begun to dive. "A pleasure," Australia greeted with a short nod, a sharp smirk on her lips, "The only child of the Morningstars. The best Hell has to offer, if Adam's effusive praise is to be believed."

"Is that so?" Charlie grinned even as her cheeks darkened, "Effusive praise, you say?"

"'Stralia!" Adam whined, shoulders slumping, "The fuck? Why would you embarrass me literally right out the gate?"

The angel gave him a predatory grin, all teeth. "So when we fuck later, you'll remember this moment and pay it back twofold," she said bluntly, dragging her fingernail under his chin as she strut by…before reaching down to cup his crotch. "Boop!"

Adam watched Australia's swaying hips bounce as she walked away, as did Charlie, shaking his head. "Bitch," he said fondly, turning back to the portal, "A-ha, and here comes Twins! She's not twins like Gladii or twins like Left and Right, but she does have a spectacular pair of twins herself!" The First Man leaned down to whisper in Charlie's ear, "She's one of the Eradicators who chose her own name."

The woman that stepped through could only be called bodacious, with long pink hair that had flowers woven into it, soft emerald eyes, pouty lips…and the best pair of tits Charlie had ever seen. Each as large as her head yet not grossly misproportioned, jiggling with every step and almost defying gravity with their perfection, made all the more prominent by the fact that she was wearing basically tape over her nipples, a thong, and a smile.

"Adam~!" Twins sang, gracefully leaping into the air, grabbing him by the head and burying his face in her cleavage with motions so smooth they could've only come from centuries of experience, "Oh my darling, I've missed you so! Can you feel my heart thumping joyously at our reunion?"

"'M feelin' sumfin' alrigh," Adam mumbled, making the woman giggle and jiggle as she hopped down and faced Charlie.

"Hello, dearie!" Twins greeted the Princess, giggling as Charlie goggled at her chest, "Don't just look, feel!" She snagged Charlie's hand and pressed it to her breast, pale fingers sinking into pillowy flesh, "I don't mind letting a cutie like you get a handful or two!"

Charlie gulped, mouth drier than the sand they stood on. "…Humina," was all she could say.

Twins nodded. "I know~!" She stepped away and flounced off with a wave of her fingers, "Come play with me later~!"

Adam bobbed his head and Charlie's flabbergasted look. "Yup," he said simply, "That's the usual reaction to seeing those tits for the first time, I did the exact same thing. She has, without exaggeration, literally the most perfect tits to exist." Charlie nodded rigorously. "Each one is a Ten outta Ten and combined they're a Twenty outta Ten. Also, just so ya know, she will ask if you want to suck on 'em later and I'm not gonna tell you not to because…" he waved a hand and she understood completely, "But I am gonna ask that you take pictures or lemme watch."

I have a girlfriend and I want this man, I have a girlfriend and I want this man, she chanted in her head, resisting the urge to chase after the Eradicator to get another feel.

"Oh, and here comes Gluteus!" The First Man grinned as an Amazonian woman strut through the portal and true to her name, her legs, hips, thighs and rear were to butts what Twins' boobs had been to breasts, perfectly sculpted with muscle and sinfully soft, bronze skin. She also had a tattoo of, ironically, wings on her back just below her actual set.

Gluteus stepped up to Adam and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him down so she could maul his mouth, and Charlie didn't even mind that much since it let her take in the sheer grandeur of the angel's cheeks a bit more. "Ah!" The angel warned, turning to shoot a sharp look the Princess's way, "I'm not like Twins, only people I say can touch. Everyone else can only look." With that, she left but not before slapping Adam on the ass and waggling her eyebrows at him.

Adam sighed, watching her walk away. "I curse whatever rules of reality that meant she and Twins were made separate beings instead of one, because that woman would've been almost perfect…" he wavered a hand, "Personality would've been a coin-flip, so I take what I can get and I'm glad they're with me."

Charlie shook her head, glancing up at Adam as he watched the already-arrived Eradicators setting up the party zones on the beach, a fond smile on his lips and eyes molten with affection. "…You really love them, huh?" She asked softly, an odd mix of envy and longing colliding in her chest, "You've got a bigger heart than I thought…"

"Ow," he chuckled, "I mean, of course I do. They dedicated their lives to me, how could I give them anything less than what they've given me?" He perked up as a set of angels came through the portal, "Speaking of, hey babes-!"

"-Hey babes, hitting the sand?" Adam called from his position at the grill. He was wearing his swim trunks along with a Hawiian shirt of white and gold orchids on light blue, a pair of sunglasses and an apron that had a graphic of four different sandwiches and a sun shining down with the words, 'Sun's Out, Buns Out' on it. He grinned at them, flipping a burger, "Hope you work up an appetite, dinner's almost on!"

"Will do," one of the twin angels nodded seriously, taking up a position on the other side of the net, "Prepare for combat!" Then she tossed the ball into the air and the game was on.

Charlie lost herself in the play, the grunts of effort and the shifting of sand, breathless laughing and whoops of victory or defeat. It only took a few rounds for Vaggie to properly get into the game, digging in to give the angels a challenge, high-fiving Charlie with every point scored and cheering just as loudly.

It came down to a final point.

With a huff, Charlie served the ball, slapping it over to the other side of the court. Orange bumped it into the air while Green spiked it down, Vaggie diving for the save and hitting it back up, letting Charlie set it up so the fallen could send it. They rallied for what felt like an hour, throwing sweat in glittering arcs as they battled it out, until…

Orange set the ball into the air and Green made to spike but feigned, bumping it again as Orange leapt into the air and spiked it down. Charlie lunged for the ball, her foot slipping in the sand, and it bounced off of her forehead instead of her forearms, catching the net and landing in the sand. "Dammit!" She laughed, picking herself up and brushing herself off, hugging Vaggie as the fallen groaned in disappointment, "Almost gotcha!"

"Indeed," Green nodded, the slightest smile on her lips, "It was a close match. Thank you for playing with us."

"Lefty!" Adam shouted from the grill, "Borgar!" He tossed a fully-made burger, bun, cheese, lettuce, tomato and all, through the air like a frisbee, the green-clad angel jumping up and catching it with her mouth before sitting down on the sand and munching on her meal with contentment glittering in her eyes. "Righty!" The orange angel perked up, "Noodel!" A bowl of steaming noodles, complete with pork and chili toppings came spinning into her arms, chopsticks included. She too planted herself in the sand and dug in with a delighted hum.

Vaggie blinked hard. "…Adam!" She called in disbelief, "How the fuck did you make a bowl of noodles on a grill?!"

"A-ha, you see…!" The First Man looked at her, to Right eating from her bowl, then back at the grill, his jaw falling open. He shrugged helplessly. "I…don't know. Anyway…ahem, WHO WANTS MY HOT JUICY MEAT IN THEIR MOUTH?!"

The delicious smoky scent had been hanging thick in the air for a while now, and Charlie had more than once accidentally given up a point after being distracted by the grumbling of her stomach. Naturally, she and many others thundered up the beach towards the tables and grills.

"My time has come and so have I!" Angel Dust whooped, being one of the first to make it to the food station, eagerly grabbing up a plate.

"Line! Form a line!" Lute called, the Second-In-Command having been glued to Adam's side at the grill since the moment she'd arrived, wielding a pair of tongs like a sword. She was wearing a half-shirt that had only one sleeve and covered the tops of her breasts, with the word Dangertits printed on, well, her dangerously perky tits. "Don't make me get a Grill-tacular on this day!" She was also wearing a pair of black aviators and a thong, with a toothpick in her mouth.

Charlie's mouth watered as she and Vaggie lined up with plates, eyeing the feast laid out before them in anticipation. The table groaned under the weight of the food, bowls of pea salad, regular salad and fruit salad next to pyramids of grilled corn, grilled asparagus and grilled zucchini, chips and salsa and the stars of the show: the burgers, hot dogs and buns, which had been formed and cooked right at the grill.

With a plate full of food, mostly a hefty burger loaded to bear, the Princess sat at a table with Vaggie and dug in. Flavors, rich and meaty but slightly spicy burst on her tongue, and someone moaned. It took her second to realize that it had been her, but that it also hadn't as her girlfriend, the angels around them and the sinners sitting with them had done the same.

"…Holy shit, Adam," Husk murmured, licking his lips, "This has to be the best burger I've ever tasted."

"…Indeed," Alastor added, looking a bit disappointed in himself as he chewed a bite.

"I think I came a little," Angel admitted without shame.

Adam simply shrugged, Lute standing at his side the picture of a proud wife, watching them eat with a smirk, "I mean, this is a recipe I've been tweaking for literally thousands of years, if it had anything less than a raw, SEXUAL crackle, then I'd have to commit Sudoku, and that shit sucks. Pansy! Nifty! Babes! Dinner!" He called, and Charlie glanced over towards one of the gazebos to see the other angels still gathered around the TVs, though only Nifty and the Birthday Girl herself were still playing, apparently in a one-on-one duel.

"Come on, you've almost got it!" An angel shouted, the crowd around them on tenterhooks before erupting into cheers. "Ninja'd! You got Ninja'd Pansy!" One of them booed as the others hefted the small maid onto their soldiers. "PANSY LOST! THE QUEEN HAS BEEN DETHRONED!" And then they started chanting Nifty's name.

The controller fell from Pansy's hands as she stared at the Defeat screen in disbelief, before she collapsed to her knees, an aura of abject misery hanging over her like a fog. "I…I lost," she murmured, tears forming in her eyes, "In this game…on this day…I've lost…" Then she popped up to her feet with a grin. "Oh well, had to happen someday! Nifty, Nifty!"

"Adam!" Another angel called, this one with a sweet face and golden blonde hair, "Can we keep her? Please?" The angels around her made devastatingly cute, pleading faces, eyes wide and glistening.

Adam crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow. "No," he said simply, grinning at their disappointed faces and winking at Nifty before he teleported in, lifted her onto his shoulder and winked back, "Mine." He handed her a little plate as she leaned against his head and started eating.

"Aww…" the angels murmured, before also digging in.

Charlie took a moment to look around, her heart burning with joy as a smile curled her lips at the sight before her. Angels and sinners, sitting next to each other, chatting and eating as if nothing were wrong. Sure, Alastor had empty seats on either side of him, but compared to the first real day at the hotel where they were separated by a table…it was her dream, coming to life in front of her. It was so close she could almost taste it. A tear traced its way down her cheek, disappearing as it landed on her shirt.

Hair stood on her neck and she looked up, meeting Adam's eyes. His smile was small and understanding, giving her a little knowing wink.

Charlie smiled. Everything is almost as it should be. There was a space next to her that was empty and waiting to be filled. She nudged Vaggie with her hip, noticing that the fallen had been having her own little held gaze with the First Man, and winked.

A portal opened up and the familiar form of Emily came zipping through, slamming into Adam with an excited squeal. "Adam!" Emily cheered, giggling as he spun her around before kissing her firmly, "Looks like I got done with my duties just in time!"

Charlie felt her jaw drop as the small Archangel enthusiastically kissed him back. "Damn right! Burgers fresh off the grill!" Adam chuckled, nuzzling her cheek before setting her and Nifty down, "I'm assuming everyone wants seconds?" He nodded at the resulting cheer, "Alright then, time to-"

He paused as a pair of hands wrapped around his waist, the chain-smoking angel yawning as she hugged him from behind. "Adam," she said thickly, still sounding sleepy, "I'm horny."

"Morning, Cardamom," he replied sarcastically, "Finally ready to deal with other people? Want to get some food first?"

"I'm not hungry for food right now," she murmured, slipping her hand down the front of his trunks, "Later."

"Needy bitch," Adam said fondly, handing the spatula to Lute as if it were the sword of office, "Grillmaster Lute, your time has come. Rule well and offer succor to these hungry souls." She saluted him with all the gravitas of a general, he returned the salute and vanished with a pop.

Charlie frowned a little. That had been a rather common occurrence during the party so far; an angel would say something off-hand, make a gesture or even outright walk up to Adam with designs on his time, and he'd teleport them away for about twenty minutes before they'd reappear, looking flushed. Her thoughts, such as they were, were interrupted as Emily sat down next to her, the Birthday Girl doing the same across from them.

"Emily!" The Princess of Hell greeted an Archangel of Heaven happily, giving her a quick hug, "When did that happen?"

The Joy Bringer grinned sheepishly, a golden blush lighting up her cheeks. "The same day we met, actually," she admitted with a little shrug, "Truthfully, I've been in love with Adam since the day we met, but…I never really had the courage to say it. Seeing what happened in Eden really put it into perspective for me, and I just couldn't waste any more time."

"Indubitably, she did not," Sanguinara, The Devourer of Blood toasted the Archangel with her silver-screaming skull goblet full of soda, "Practically blackmailed the sisterhood, she did. Struck us without warning, with our weakness! And we were bereft of our man's warmth for a solitary night of darkness and despair."

Charlie squinted, trying to parse what the goth angel had said. Her thoughts were interrupted by Emily speaking. "Happy Birthday, Pansy!" She said brightly, "Three thousand years is quite the milestone!"

"Thanks!" Pansy replied, before her smile became a scowl, "Bitch."

Emily slumped as Charlie and Vaggie blinked. "Ah…" The Archangel muttered, grimacing, "You're still mad about that, I see…"

"I never stopped," the Eradicator grunted, "You went and showed Immaculara to a bunch of outsiders! You went behind Adam's back and showed them his memories! Not all of them, sure, but what if one of them had used that knowledge to hurt him, like Period Piece over there?"

Alastor looked up from his plate. "Hey now, I'm not even wearing red today! Words hurt, you know, and that's me telling you!"

"Stop being such a bleedin' cunt then!" Heck heckled from another table.

"Indeed, he is a cunt," Pentious agreed, "Now, we were speaking of integrated circuits?"

"That's a little unfair," Charlie spoke up with a frown, "I'd never do that -I can't speak for Alastor- but I know for certain no one else would as well."

"Yeah, but that's you, Ministar," Pansy rebuked, crossing her arms, "Adam knows you, and we don't, all we know is from a few brief moments and his reports. I bet you have a diary, right? How would you feel if someone snuck it out of your room and read it aloud to a bunch of strangers?"

"They aren't strangers, though, they're Adam's friends!" Emily insisted, tapping a finger on the table, "He trusts them! And it's a moot point, anyway, he already forgave me."

"That's not the point!" The angel insisted, slamming her hand on the table, "It wasn't who you showed it to, it's that you did it at all! They're Adam's memories, dammit, he should've been the one to make that decision!"

"It turned out alright, didn't it?" Charlie cut in, hoping the developing fight would die quickly, already missing the party's atmosphere, "I mean, Emily made her move, and speaking for myself, I definitely appreciate Adam more knowing what I do-"

Pansy sighed. "-the ends don't always justify the means, Ministar," she said roughly, "Adam forgave you, Adam accepted your apology, but we didn't." A few of the angels pointedly cleared their throats and she rolled her eyes, "Not all of us have," she corrected, "The point is, you hurt Adam's feelings and I'm mad about it, bitch!"

Charlie opened her mouth to make a reply when a spatula slapped the table between them. She followed the utensil up, finding Lute glaring down at them, brow furrowed. "Sister, Emily, this is not how we settle disputes here," she declared firmly, jabbing the spatula at Pansy like a spear, "You should already know this, and you-" the spatula was pointed at Emily, "-if you want to be a part of this family, you have to follow the rules, and there is only one acceptable way to settle disputes…"

"THE RING!" The call from the Eradicators practically shook the beach.

"The what?" Charlie asked, blinking as she noticed Lute grabbing Emily and Pansy by the arm and dragging them to an empty stretch of beach, "Hey!"

"You want to be Emily's second, then?" Lute nodded once, "Who wishes to be Pansy's?"

"I agree with Pansy, and I will be her second," an angel stepped forward with a hand raised. Her white hair was cut into a neat bob, her swimsuit finely cut to display most of her porcelain skin without showing everything, and eye protection that seemed more like a blindfold.

"Tag team, in the ring!" Lute announced, snapping her fingers. A wrestling mat, complete with ropes and turnbuckles, appeared on the sand.

"Wrestling?" The Princess asked incredulously, before noticing that the 'mat' was subtly jiggling. "…Is that…jello?"

"Yup," Emily replied, a determined frown on her lips and she changed her dress into a one-piece swimsuit of the same colors, tying her hair up in a ponytail, "Thanks for being my second, Charlie, it means a lot to me."

Charlie blinked and looked around, seeing the angels surrounding the ring. With a shrug, she pulled off her hat and sunglasses and handed them to Vaggie before climbing into the ring, the cool jello squishing between her toes. "I don't really know what's going on, but you two are going down!"

Adam teleported in near the grill, a flushed and giggly Cardamom hanging on his arm. "Now that you've had your fill of meat," he murmured, gently nibbling her ear lobe, "Go get some food." He sent her towards the food with a fond slap on the ass and a wink, turning to find the dining area practically empty. "…The fuck?"

He spun around and saw the newly constructed ring and jogged over, tapping a confused looking Vaggie on the shoulder. "You're back," she noted, trying not to brighten and jerking her chin at the women getting into the ring, "I dunno what's going on, are you gonna stop them?"

"Stop 'em?" Adam asked in surprise, "What makes you think I could? This is a matter they've gotta settle like women, whatever it is. Besides, my angels are the one who came up with this as a way to settle disputes, and it's worked perfectly for thousands of years. I'm gonna commentate, though, you just sit back and enjoy the show." Patting her on the shoulder, he peered over the gathering before moving in.

He slipped easily through the crowd and stepped up on the ring, shaking his head in realization as he saw Pansy and Quaint stretching. "Hey Adam, you're just in time!" The birthday girl said brightly, stepping over to give him a quick kiss, as did her second.

"Are you still mad about that?" Adam asked with a sigh, "I thought we talked about this? Alright, get it out of your system, and remember to have some fun out there." He pecked Emily on the lips and gave Charlie a wink before hopping back, summoning a tall chair that loomed over the ring. "Alright everyone, it's time for another round of the long-running problem solver: Jello Wrestling!"

The angels cheered and, caught up in the crowd, the sinners did too.

"In the left corner are The Aggressors!" He shouted, "Pansy, the Heavenly Bloom, and The Machine Called Quaint!" The two angels pumped their fists and nodded respectively to raucous cheers, "In the other corner are The Defenders! The Joy Bringer, Emily! And Hell's Snowflake, Charlie!"

Emily waved excitedly as Charlie did the same, the two of them shaking hands.

"The rules: once the match is decided, the dispute is indisputably settled for good, win or lose! Now, I want a nice, slippery match! No cheap shots, no shots below the belt! Out is decided by a three count, tap out, or ten second ring out!" Adam announced, clapping his hands, "Aggressors, are you ready?" Pansy and Quaint nodded. "Defenders, are you ready?" Emily and Charlie nodded, every face set with determination. "BEGIN!"

Charlie lowered herself into a lunge and threw herself forward, instantly slipping on the jello and face planting in it.

"Ooh, Charlie's down right out the gate! Oh, Emily with the dropkick, right in the tits but Quaint's back up-!"

She scrambled to her feet just as Pansy slammed into her, her face being buried in the angel's tits as strong arms locked around her stomach and heaved, body-slamming the Princess of Hell into the gelatin floor with an almighty squish.

It became a cacophony of chaos, the slapping of wet flesh, grunts of effort and harsh exhales of impacts, the squishing of jello, the cheering of the crowd, and above it all, Adam's commentary.

"Oh! Emily's got Quaint in a headlock, lucky bitch, and Pansy's got Charlie in a triangle choke- but Charlie slips out and- oh! She's got Quaint by the legs, are we gonna see an elimination this soon?! What's that? Pansy's climbing the turnbuckle and there she goes- oh! Leg flip on Emily, the Archangel is down in the jello-but here comes Charlie, bouncing off the ropes and oooh, suplex on Quaint!"

Charlie wasn't entirely sure what was happening, only that despite her greater strength, the angel's experience and the slippery jello meant she couldn't get a lock on either of them without one interfering or the other twisting loose. She'd just gotten to her feet again, when-

"-she's slithering in, watch out, watch out!" A pair of arms wrapped around her neck and drove her face-first into the jello once again. "RKO! From outta nowhere!" Then a pair of hands grabbed her ankles and swung, sending Charlie sliding across the jello and right under the bottom rope, landing in the sand.

"Charlie's out of the ring, she's got ten seconds to- oh, oh my! Emily's gone Big Mode! Will it be enough to turn the tide?!"

Charlie scrambled to her feet, sand sticking to the jello in a fine, disgusting film. She threw herself back under the ropes, pausing to gape at the sight of a nine-foot tall Emily trying to buck Quaint off of her back, shaking it off and lunging to help. "I'm coming, Emily!" She slipped, regained her footing and managed to look up as an elbow raced towards her face.

"Oooooh!" Adam and the crowd hissed, "Friendly fire from Emily, and Charlie's down!"

"Ah!" The Archangel squealed in dismay, "Charlie, I'm so sorr-rgghlhg!"

Her apology was cut off as Pansy took her legs out from under her and Quaint locked her legs around her neck.

"Emily's pinned! One! Can Charlie recover in time?! Two! Is this really all of her strength?! Three! And Emily is out!" The angels rolled away as the Archangel was teleported out of the ring.

Pansy and Quaint waited politely for Charlie to regain her senses and stand back up, a grin of victory on the birthday girl's face. The Princess of Hell took a deep breath and readied up.

"In a stunning turn of events, the Joy-Bringer has been Joy-Brought down! It was a good effort, Emi-phim, mwah. Now only Charlie remains! Can she turn it around, or is she going down?!"

She knew it was only a matter of time before the two sexy, bikini-wearing, jello-covered angels got her, but Charlie was determined to go down swinging.

"Look at that, Charlie's making them work for it! Ooh, the scissor-lock takedown, Pansy's gonna feel that tomorrow! Quaint's got Charlie in a choke, is this- oooh!"

Charlie wriggled like a snake and twisted, managing to toss the angel over her shoulder, Quaint and Pansy's skulls meeting with a crack. Working free, she hurriedly climbed a turnbuckle and threw herself at them, but Pansy had leapt up and was ready. What would've been a slam turned into an odd dance as the angel spun Charlie around and suddenly, she was upside-down, her cheek touching Pansy's.

And then Pansy fell back.

"Oh, oh! The reversal from Pansy and Charlie's down again- here comes Quaint!" The angel slithered up between Charlie's legs, locking her limbs down in a complicated, pretzel-like hold as Pansy hooked her knees under Charlie's armpits, squishing her face between the angel's thighs. "Charlie's pinned! Is this the end?! One! She's not giving up, she's wriggling for all she's worth! Two! But they aren't giving her an inch and- three! The Aggressors take the match!"

Charlie flopped down onto the mat, disappointment welling in her chest. It didn't last long before a pair of hands clamped around her arms and heaved her to her feet. "Don't feel too bad, Ministar!" Pansy said, grinning happily, "Age and treachery beat youth and energy any day!"

"…Did you just call yourself old?" She couldn't help but point out.

Pansy's face clouded with despair. "Old…" she muttered, before shaking it off, "Whatever, I'm still young enough to have fun jello wrestling! This was your first time, huh? At least you got that cherry popped with a couple of experienced grapplers instead of fumbling around all wet and squishy without knowing what to do!" The angel grinned and waggled her eyebrows, "I'm sure if you asked, Adam would be happy to…show you the ropes. Mwehehe~"

Charlie gulped even as heat burned in her cheeks. "I-I uh, don't k-know what you're tal-" She squeaked as Pansy pulled her into a hug.

"Don't worry, Ministar," the angel murmured, "I approve." Then she pinched Charlie's butt.

The Princess yelped as the wrestling ring melted into the sand, the jello crumbling away and leaving them perfectly clean. Adam jumped down with a thump, grandly proclaiming, "The matter is now settled! Anyone who tries to bring the issue up again will be called a little bitch and made to wear the Raiment of Shame! As the victors, what is your prize?" He asked Pansy and Quaint. The angels put their heads together.

"Sorry, Charlie, I really am," Emily mumbled, eyes watering as she held Charlie's hand, "I didn't mean to hit you! Is your head alright?! Do you need an ice pack?"

"I'm good, Emily, I promise!" Charlie couldn't help but smile at the innocent worry on Emily's face, "I was just stunned, no damage done! Although…what I wanna know is, how'd you get so big?"

Emily gently poked her forehead, a worried frown on her face, but nodded. "That? Well, technically speaking, that's my actual size. All Archangels are really tall compared to humans, at least, most are," she blushed, scratching her cheek with a finger, "I'm…actually the shortest Archangel. But most of us go around in smaller, human forms so we don't scare any winners! …Except Metatron, I don't think he's ever changed forms…"

"That's 'cause he's Reality's Biggest Nerd, and what better way to observe everything than by being made of fuckin' eyeballs?" Adam interjected, reaching down to run his fingers through Emily's blue-gray hair, making her smile softly, "And you're not the 'shortest' Archangel, I prefer to think of you as…fun-sized."

"Small things are considered cute, and cuteness is a vector to joy…I'll take it!" The Joy-Bringer cheered, throwing her arms around Adam's waist.

"Alright!" Pansy announced, clapping her hands, "For our victory, we've decided- Maid outfits!"

Adam snapped his fingers, and suddenly both Charlie and Emily were dressed as maids, headbands, stockings and shoes included. Surprisingly, they weren't fetishized or overly floofy at all.

"Huh…this is kinda nice," Charlie muttered, patting the skirt down, "I usually wear pants, but…these are kinda breezy." She glanced over and found Vaggie staring at her, a deep blush on her face. Charlie made eye-contact with her girlfriend, giving a sultry smile and wiggling her eyebrows knowingly. "Not bad, eh?"

Vaggie coughed into her hand, blush deepening as the angels around her tittered, before storming off towards the bar. The rest of the Eradicators or at least most had broken away to get more food or return to the party.

"Feel like I might've awakened something there," the Princess murmured, making a mental note, eyeing Adam from the corner of her eye and wondering what he'd look like dressed up as a butler…her face flushed red. Shaking her head, she spoke up, "S-so, if you're that big usually, does that mean…you can get even smaller?"

Emily was totally adorable in her maid outfit, given that Adam had scooped her up and was currently nuzzling her neck. "I-stoooop," she giggled, "Yeah, all Archangels can change their size, like this-" She shrank down and flew over to Charlie, landing in her hand. She was about five inches tall, and somehow even more adorable.

Charlie's jaw dropped. "Oh my god!" She squealed, almost dancing in place, "You're so cute! You're so cute and tiny I just wanna keep you in my pocket and feed you cookies!" She paused as a thought occurred, slowly turning her head to look at Adam, an expression of pure dismay on her face, "Adam…"

The First Man looked away with a whistle.

"…Have you been able to shrink like this the whole time?" Charlie asked dangerously.

"He doesn't like shrinking down after he got lost that one time and ended up starting a religion disguised as a mouse," Quaint informed her, "He got stuck like that and had to live with them for years."

"They built an abbey and everything! I thought you made an adorable mouse, Martin," Pansy teased, poking Adam in the side, "At least there weren't any mermaids…"

Charlie gaped at him. "What?!" She squeaked, "Where have those stories been?! And you've been able to shrink this whole time and never once said anything? Do you know just how fuckin' cute that is?!"

"Yes! I know exactly how 'fuckin' cute' it is!" Adam threw his hands up, "Do you know how many times someone's been like, 'oh Adam, can you get small so I can take pictures of you in this teacup?' or 'Adam, can you shrink down under these flowers for my drawings?' and yeah, I fuckin' did 'em, but every time…I could feel my honor and dignity as a man, drifting away…like smoke on the wind…" He sighed deeply, turning to look at the women around him, all giving him pleading looks. "…fuggin figures…"

"Please?" They all asked, even Emily.

He gave a deep, pained groan and shrank down, flying over to land in Charlie's hands with Emily, now being around six inches tall. "May I have this dance, milady?" He asked with a bow, taking Emily into his arms as he and the Archangel danced on Charlie's palms. Charlie, Pansy and Quaint all cooed at the sight, especially when they twirled together.

"So," Angel Dust started, leaning on Charlie's shoulder with a rather suspect grin, "You ever use this size-changing thing for freaky sex stuff?" He waggled his eyebrows.

Adam gave the spider sinner a flat look. "Husk!" He called, and the bartender sprayed Angel Dust in the face with a spray bottle, making him recoil with a hiss. "And you've ruined it. Alright, time for a bonfire!"

Charlie tried not to look too disappointed as the two angels flew out of her hands and returned to normal size.

…

Evening had fallen, and most of the party had become centered around a large bonfire, with the couches, benches and chairs circling it. Several bags of marshmallows, along with boxes of graham crackers and chocolate were spread around, angels merrily roasting the fixings for smores near the fire. Despite the number of people, it somehow still felt homey and intimate, scattered conversations and chatter filling the air with crackling of burning wood.

"So, Quaint," Charlie started, sitting next to the Eradicator on a couch, "I couldn't help but notice you've got a little ink on your back." She had noticed when Pansy had slammed her into the mat and Quaint had fallen on top of them.

"…Ah," the angel muttered bashfully, "Yes, you could say that…" She turned her back to Charlie, pulling the straps of her swimsuit away to reveal a tattoo that covered the entirety of her back, shoulders to tailbone.

It was a grinning, stylized skull wrapped in flaming, glowing barbed wire with golden flames erupting from the eye sockets, and underneath written like it'd been slashed into her skin red and black ink were the words, IT'S NOT A PHASE, ADAM.

"…Wow," Charlie blinked, biting her lip to restrain her giggles, "Is there a story behind that, or…?"

"Adam made a bet that it was a phase," Quaint replied, blushing, "I took that bet…it was a phase. I'll be able to get it removed in twenty years."

"Oooh, how often does he remind you of that?" She asked sympathetically.

"Every time we have sex."

"…Ah."

"I enjoy mild degradation while engaged in sexual activity," the angel 'helpfully' continued, "Not real degradation, but sometimes when we're doing it in front of my sisters and he makes me beg for it and I have to shout what a sl-"

"Okay!" Charlie shouted suddenly, eyes wildly darting around to land on Adam, who was strumming on a ukulele of all things. "Adam! Does thy 'lele shred?!"

The First Man blinked at her. "No shit!" He shouted, beginning to strum wildly, "On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light~!"

Vaggie was watching the bonfire from the bar, leaning against the counter with a rum and coke in her hand, though she wasn't really drinking. She dragged a finger through the condensation, trying to focus on the chill of the liquid and not the laughter she could hear from the bonfire, especially not the sweet sound of Charlie's giggles or the enthusiastic singing from Adam, who was somehow playing power metal on a ukulele and making it sound good. All of these angels, I…has it always been like this? I swear, back then, it was-

"-Ssso thisss iz where you been," a drunken voice broke into her thoughts, the fallen looking up to finds Sanguinara, The Devourer of Blood, stumbling towards her, her screaming silver skull goblet filled with wine this time- fruity, bubbly rosé, sure, but still alcoholic, "Wasz wondrin' where you'd be…of cuuurse you'd be hangin' in the szhadows like a…ffffuggin' weirdo…" Devo tried to lean on the bar and nearly missed. "Whaz-what's wrrrong with you, huh? Too good to spend time havin' fun? That's…so like you, you…blackhole of ffffun."

Vaggie grimaced. "Fuck off," she mumbled, hoping the angel would do exactly that.

"Nnno! Ffffuck off with that…attitude! You…were always like thiz, no matter how much fun we were havin' you'd just…sit in the back, being all silent'n'judgy like a…judgy silen' thing…" Devo accused, trying and failing to poke the fallen on the arm, "Alwayz actin' like you're zssso much better than us, but guess what, Va-Vi-Vu-Veggie, -heh, gottem- you aren't. You weren't ever even a Radical, not rrrealy…you never came to the parties, you never played with us, you never had sex with Adam-" Vaggie hunched, "-which is like, the best part, no matter what we did…and-and…" the angel was starting to tear up, "They gave you everything! You didn't have to watch Immaculara, you didn't have to run The Gauntlet, they let you get away with bein' a part-timer full-time…I got fffffuckin' burned alive by my people and I had to do alla that, but you…what made you so…fuckin' special, huh?"

Vaggie stared at Devo, nonplussed. …They treated me differently…to that extent? But…

The angel was swaying in place, eyes watering before she burst into tears, falling to her knees and hugging Vaggie around the legs. "I-I'm so sooooorry!" She wailed, "I didn't meeeean it! Please come back, I miss you, I promise I'll leave you alone butpleasecomebackIdon'twanttoloseanymorepeopleand-"

"Woah!" Adam was suddenly there, making Vaggie jolt in surprise. He bent down and carefully pried Devo's arms from around her legs, picking the angel up in his arms, "Who gave you alcohol, Devo? For someone who used to be French, you can't handle wine for shit…c'mon, sweetie, what's wrong? Was it the fire? Do you want to sit near the water?"

"Mmhm," Devo nodded tearfully, burying her face in his shoulder.

"Okay, let's go sit near the water, it'll be okay babe…" he murmured, kissing the angel's forehead before shooting Vaggie an apologetic look, "Sorry, she usually handles fire better, but the wine…" He shrugged helplessly, "Speaking of, why don't you head over? Once I've got her calmed down, it'll be cake time."

"Oooh, cake," the goth angel mumbled, "I want…cake…"

"Once you're a little more sober, you big nerd," Adam replied, carrying her off towards the waves.

Vaggie watched him go, questions rattling around in her skull. Unconsciously, she padded towards the bonfire and sat down near Charlie, her girlfriend immediately throwing an arm around her waist. With all the chatter, the laughter, the sheer liveliness…it almost felt like one, giant family. She scooted closer to Charlie and tried not to think as much.

A bit later, things had settled a bit when suddenly, the gentle strumming of a guitar reached their ears.

"Her roots have never touched the ground, and yet her earthly beauty still abounds," Adam stepped into the firelight with a guitar in his hands, Lute trailing behind him pushing a covered cart, "With soft bright petals that've touched the sky, has any other flower ever reached so high?"

His eyes were locked onto Pansy, a small smile on his lips as he softly sang, "Drowned in the dark and painful deep, and yet never let the pain creep, shining so brightly even in the gloom, she's the Flower of Heaven, and she's always in bloom." Pansy sniffled, the tears in her eyes glittering in the light of the fire.

"What stands may fall to rise again, but even against the strongest wind, she's never bowed, broken or bent, and even still, she'll never relent; when faced with death and certain doom, she's the Flower of Heaven, and she's always in bloom." The last notes faded as Adam smiled at the angel, reaching out to cup her cheek, "Happy Birthday, Pansy."

Pansy lunged forward and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. The angels around them sighed and cooed at the sight. Eventually the two separated. "Happy Birthday, Pansy," Lute said with a smile, pulling the covering off of the cart to reveal…a cake. Three tiers of it, large enough that everyone around the fire could have two generous slices, every inch of the tiers covered in pansies of all sorts of colors.

"…Is this how birthdays usually go?" Charlie asked Quaint, wiping her cheeks on the apron of her maid outfit.

"Yeah," the angel sniffled, "Big party, lots of fun…then Adam sings a song he wrote for the birthday girl. 'Happy Birthday' is nice, but once you get past three-hundred…" She composed herself and stood from the couch, "Excuse me, I need cake."

Charlie glanced over at Vaggie, who was staring down at the sand, brow furrowed in confusion. Sucking her teeth, the Princess glanced around as the angels lined up for cake, taking in the toned, curvy forms of the women who'd dedicated themselves to Adam. …Why does he look at me the way he does when he has this already? Am I…really that special to him? But…what do I have that his harem doesn't? She couldn't help but think, before a thought occurred, Wait a minute…If I can convince Vaggie to join us and we get together, that would mean…his harem would be our harem…

"…Charlie, why are you smiling?" Vaggie asked hesitantly.

"Oh, nothing," Charlie replied breezily in a way that instantly worried her girlfriend, "I just had a really good idea."

"…What kind of idea?"

"Does it involve cake?" Adam asked as he sat down next to Charlie, passing her two plates with a slice apiece on them and a fork, digging into one of his own.

Charlie jumped but accepted the plates, handing one to Vaggie. "Not that I mind, but, why are you sitting with us?" She asked, cutting a bite of cake with her fork.

"There's such a thing as 'too many women' you know," he replied pointing his chin at the crowd of angels around Pansy, wishing her happy birthday and showering her with hugs and affection, "Besides, a birthday like this doesn't come around again, better to let her bask a bit."

She hummed and accepted the reasoning; she wasn't about to send him away for no reason. With that, she took a bite and moaned as flavors exploded on her tongue. Sweet and tart, fruity and heady, along with the floral crunch of the candied flower and the rich sponge of the cake itself…she had to restrain herself from devouring the entire slice in one go. "…Why is this so delicious?" Charlie whimpered, licking her fork, "And why don't you make this all the time?"

"Easiest way to turn a treat into a trial is to have it everyday," Adam shrugged, "And part of any meal that enhances in the flavor is the atmosphere. If it was just a regular Tuesday it probably wouldn't taste as good. Plus, effort. Candying flowers by hand is a bitch, but look at that face," Pansy had just taken a bite, her face flushed and eyes closed from enjoyment, "Worth it."

Vaggie played with her slice, poking it with her fork and flipping the flower over. "…You candied these by hand?" She asked softly, looking at the massive (though shrinking) cake, trying to count the flowers on it, "…That must've taken all night."

"It did," he said simply.

Charlie looked up from her slice, recalling a one-sided conversation hours (though it seemed like days) before. "…When did you sleep?" She questioned hesitantly.

"I didn't," he replied simply.

The sweet aftertaste of cake soured in her mouth.

Adam glanced at her, a frown tugging at his lips. In the flickering firelight, the bags around his eyes seemed deeper and darker than ever. "Don't waste my effort by not eating the fucking thing, that'll piss me off," he warned, jabbing his fork at her, "I poured my heart into this. Enjoy it."

Vaggie took a bite and sighed, the flavors filling her mouth, "This is…mango and pineapple sorbet," she realized, "Does that make this an ice cream cake?"

"Technically, otherwise it's just a regular vanilla cake with buttercream frosting and candied pansies," he replied, taking a bite and nodding, "Mm, good cake."

The party was filled with the sounds of people eating cake and the crackle of fire, along with the occasional moan or groan of satisfaction. Everyone went back for a second slice, but even then there was still some remaining.

"Alright, it's time for the birthday wishes!" Pansy announced, clapping her hands excitedly.

Charlie and Vaggie gave Adam confused looks, and he quickly explained, "There's no point in buying or making gifts, so instead we do more experience-based gifts, hence birthday wishes."

"For my first wish…!" The angel started, pausing for dramatic effect as she locked eyes with Charlie across the bonfire, a small, almost sadistic grin curling her lips, "I want everyone to watch Immaculara."

The fire stuttered and flickered, the shadows growing darker and deeper, a chill filling the air. There was a crack of something not quite bone, and Adam's eyes had begun to glow. "Why." It was not a question.

Pansy smirked at him, completely unafraid. "I don't mean the whole thing right now, silly," she blew a kiss at him, the atmosphere growing warm again, "Just 2.1. When you met Lute for the first time…but before you met her sister," her eyes flickered to Vaggie and she smiled, to the fallen's confusion.

Adam eyed her, face expressionless. "Fine," he grunted, tapping the glowing diamond of his necklace as a flash lit up the area, the prism beaming the experience directly into their heads. Each angel, sinner and Charlie fell back against their seats, a strange light in their eyes…

…Except for Adam, Pansy and Emily. "What?" The Archangel blinked, looking around at the rest of the party, "What's this for?"

"Everyone except us, right?" Adam asked knowingly, a small smirk on his lips as he arched an eyebrow at Pansy.

"You know me so well, honey," the angel nodded, pushing herself up from her chair and leaning on his shoulder, tracing her fingers along the back of his neck, "See, I heard something really interesting about you, Emily. You have almost zero experience when it comes to the pleasures of the flesh-"

"-why would-?!" Emily groaned in realization, giving Adam a sad, betrayed look, "You told them about that?!"

"No," Pansy answered, "The walls at home aren't that thick. Plus, even if we didn't, the fact you only had two orgasms kinda gave it away. As for my second wish, I wish to teach an Archangel something…it's not an opportunity that comes around all that often, and, well…" She leaned against Adam, running her fingers along his bare chest with a sultry smile, "Adam's the Dickmaster, and I'm the Master of Sucking his Dick, if you'll forgive the crudeness…I have a lot to teach you, Emily…"

The Joy-Bringer buried her face in her hands, her cheeks practically glowing.

"You don't have to, Emily," Adam added, nudging Pansy with his elbow, "Our relationship can go at whatever pace you want, I'm content with it. And-"

"C-can…" Emily mumbled, looking at them through her fingers, "Can y-you teach me…p-please?" She asked softly, "I…I've been wanting to be…i-intimate again, but I wasn't…sure how to say it, and I do want to learn how to do…everything, so please…" She gave Pansy and Adam a pleading, wide-eyed look, "Can you please teach me…?"

The angel's jaw fell open and Adam bit his lip, reaching out to stroke Emily's cheek. "She defused your horny with the power of wholesomeness," he teased, before giving the Archangel a smile, "Are you sure?"

Emily grew to her normal size, leaning over to kiss him gently. "Yes," she whispered.

"Alright, then let's move somewhere else," Adam scooped Emily up into his arms as Pansy rode on his shoulders, taking them away from the bonfire and into one of the now-abandoned gazebos, setting them down.

"Alright, time to learn ya," the angel murmured, rubbing her hands together gleefully, "The first thing…unwrapping the present. Go ahead, Emily."

The Archangel bit her lip as she peered up at Adam through her eyelashes, standing up on her tiptoes to kiss him. As their lips met, she brought her hands to the waist of his trunks, slowly pulling them down until they slid down his legs and landed on the floor. She pushed lightly on his chest and he sat down on the couch, spreading his legs as she knelt between them, gulping as his semi-soft arousal was fully revealed.

Emily licked her lips, watching with anticipation glittering in her eyes as glowing gold began to fill his veins. "Don't just stare," Pansy commented with a knowing smirk, "Give him a warm welcome."

The Joy-Bringer nodded seriously, leaning down to nuzzle his stiffening length with her nose, pressing gentle pecks to rapidly-heating skin as she breathed his scent in. Despite all his time spent in the sun that day, he smelled as he ever did, uniquely Adam. A scent she loved dearly.

"There we go…" Pansy whispered, "You're too cute for the sloppy stuff and that's my specialty anyway, think of it like…a hamster eating a banana. Gentle nibbles and kisses all over."

Emily did so, mewling at his fingers brushing her hair. She dipped her head, kissing and lightly nibbling at his sensitive flesh, delighting in his quiet gasps, her lips finding the base, her tongue darting out to lick him.

"Don't forget you've got hands, too," the angel added, "We'll focus on the main course today, we'll have to schedule another lesson on how to handle his balls later, I think you going for that right out of the gate might be too much for him."

"She's right," Adam moaned as Emily stroked her hand up one side of his shaft while she kissed up and down the other.

She could feel him throb against her skin, his pulse pounding through the golden veins threaded through his arousal that she followed to the top, kissing it and closing her lips around it.

"Ooh, some initiative," Pansy complimented with a grin, "Now, run your tongue just below the head-"

Adam gasped and bucked, hands clenched on the couch cushions.

"-he really likes that," she continued with a smug smirk, "Hands."

Adam couldn't decide which was better or worse; the warm, wet suction of her lips or the even warmer and even wetter gentle licks of her tongue, or the slow, soft strokes from her hands…or the sheer, languid lack of speed as Emily savored him. Her eyes flicked up to meet his, and his heart thundered in his chest at the sight of her sweet, innocent eyes glowing with love contrasting with the sexuality of the act. He ran a hand through her hair and she smiled, dipping her head to take more of him in her mouth.

Pansy felt her smirk beginning to fade as she watched the two, the ever-present heat between her legs stoked to an all-time high. …This might've been a mistake, she gulped, licking her lips, face flushed with desire, I can barely hold myself back… she looked at Adam, their eyes meeting…and he smirked. She glared at him. You knew this would happen! You sadistic fuck, I love you so much!

Emily released Adam from her mouth with a pop, his shaft resting against her cheek as she looked up at him. "Are you close?" she asked softly, sweetly, "You feel close…like you're about to burst…I hope it doesn't hurt. Can I kiss it better?" She kissed his tip and took him in her mouth again, pushing over the length of her tongue swallowing most of his arousal.

"Now you're gettin' it!" Pansy whooped, hands clenching and unclenching as she resisted the urge to relieve some of her own heat, "He's on the edge, Emily, just a bit more speed…"

The Archangel bobbed her head just a bit faster, her hands stroking what wasn't in her mouth as she quietly hummed.

Adam groaned, deep in his chest, "Emily…"

She withdrew until only his head was between her lips and sucked softly, a quiet squeak of surprise escaping as he burst in her mouth, glowing seed leaking from the corner of her lips as her throat bobbed. She pulled back, flinching as a few droplets splashed on her cheek before wiping them up with her thumb and licking her finger clean. "Mmmm," Emily hummed thoughtfully, "You taste really good, Adam. I didn't know what I expected it would taste like, but it's good."

Pansy pouted. "You didn't share!" She whined, throwing her arms up, "Mean!"

Emily smiled innocently. "I didn't know if you wanted any," she shrugged, turning back to Adam, "Was that…was it good?"

"Very," he sighed, erection not flagging at all. "Alright, they've only got about ten minutes left, that should be long enough for this to die down-"

"-or!" Pansy chimed in, shouldering Emily aside, "Just enough time for me to show Emily how it's really done!"

Emily dutifully summoned a notebook and pen as the angel got down to work.

…

Charlie gasped as the experience ended, jolting up on her chair. Her hand shot out to steady Vaggie, who groaned and clutched her head. "That's what I meant by nausea," she said, rubbing her girlfriend's back, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's passing," the fallen muttered, rubbing her temples before her hands fell in her lap, "That was…Adam's own kid, he…those demons…I didn't know…"

Charlie turned to Adam, the beginnings of an apology and question on her lips when she realized the seat next to her was empty. She looked around and found him standing by the fire, an embarrassed-looking Emily leaning against him.

"Alright, it's time to wrap this up," he announced, giving them a small smile, "Say your goodbyes, ladies."

As a red-faced Devo approached Vaggie with a stammer, the Princess found the birthday girl. "Pansy?" she asked, drawing the angel's attention, "Why did you want to show me that? Also, weren't you mad at Emily for doing the same thing?"

"The cat's already out of the bag, and what you saw isn't something I'd consider embarrassing for Adam," Pansy replied with an easy shrug, "And let me answer your question with another question: did you know Hell invaded Heaven?"

Charlie felt the blood drain from her face. Neither The History of Hell or any other history book (not that there were many) had ever mentioned invading Heaven. It'd said that the Eradications were Heaven trying to stop Hell from fighting back against the oppression of Heaven…

"Yeah, that first invasion-" First?! Charlie thought, horrified, "-Was also the first contact between Heaven and Hell. You saw for yourself what that meant for the Winners and angels. There were three main Invasions, each larger and more destructive than the last, but thousands of Incursions in the years between. It was only after the First Treaty that they stopped."

Pansy stepped forward and wrapped Charlie up in a strong hug. "Um," Charlie mumbled, stiffening in surprise.

"I just wanted you to know how it all started," the angel whispered, "And give you some perspective. Also…thank you, Charlie."

The Princess blinked. "For what? I mean, I'm glad you decided to have your birthday party here-"

"For Adam," she murmured, kissing her cheek, "He's…more himself, these days, happier, livelier…and I know it's because of you. So, when I'm screaming my lungs out while Adam brings me to another orgasm, I'll think fondly of you."

The angel pulled away with a wink, leaving Charlie a blushing mess. "Alright, time to go!" Adam called, opening a portal.

Charlie was still reeling as the other angels said goodbye, especially when Twins pulled her head into the caverns of her cleavage and Charlie swore she saw Paradise; eventually, with a final hug from Emily, all of the Eradicators were on the other side, giving them one last wave.

"Alright!" Pansy shouted, throwing her hands in the air, "Time for the best part of the night!" The portal began to close as an angel tackled Adam to the ground. "The Birthday Orgy!"

Several angels hooted lustily, already stripping off their swimsuits as Pansy dove into the pile.

"Me first! I'm gonna tear the clothes off you with my teeth!"

The portal snapped shut with an echoing Mwehehe~

Charlie tried not to feel jealous or envious, bringing all the fun they had that day to the forefront of her mind.

It didn't help.

"Ditching us to bang a bunch of angels," Angel Dust muttered with a shrug, "Well, not like I can blame him. Time to get drunk."

"Same," Husk muttered.

"And while we drink, I can tell you all about the things I've learned today!" Pentious added happily, the trio slithering away towards the bar.

Nifty looked around at the trash littering the beach, rubbing her little hands together with a cackle. "KeeKee!" She called excitedly, the catgirl popping up out of the sand next to them, making Charlie and Vaggie jump in shock, "Time for cleaning! Nifty will get first!"

As the two dove into the mess, something the tiny maid had said was echoing in Charlie's head. Alastor was saying something, but she couldn't hear it over the word repeating in her skull like rolling thunder. First.

She gasped sharply, reaching out to grab Vaggie's arm and teleported both of them away.

Alastor blinked at the empty space the two had occupied. "…They just ignored me," he said incredulously, eyes beginning to glow, "Those little…! Have they all forgotten who I am?"

The Radio demon glanced over towards the bar, where Angel Dust, Husk and Pentious were chatting secretively about something, trading fist-bumps and meaningful nods, content with the three of them. Nifty and KeeKee were both focused on cleaning and neither paid him any mind.

"…Fine then," Alastor muttered, his knuckles white around his cane, "I don't need them anyway. Perhaps Rosie is free…" His gaze lingered on the three sinners, though he wouldn't admit it.

He did wonder what had Charlie so spooked, though. Perhaps he could use it?

The answer was a thought, one that had raised even more questions than she'd had before.

What did she mean, 'The First Treaty?'

…

…

…

…

…

…

A/N: And so, we come to the end of Pansy's Birthday Party. Truth be told this chapter is mostly an exercise in character interaction, letting The Happy Few get to meet more of the Eradicators than they had previously, and with a lot of time having passed, on a far more friendly note, too! Plus it was an excuse for me to show off and introduce more of the angels than had already been previously seen, so there was less Ficus and Heck and Gladii, though Devo still managed to worm her way in there…

I like Devo. I think she might be my favorite semi-OC in the bunch, right next to Pansy.

Also, ain't it funny how in canon that Pansy would've been long dead by this time, and that her birthday would've been very near to the attack on the hotel? Hmm…

And Nifty actually fitting in with the Eradicators, and Husk and Angel and even Charlie and Vaggie managing to have a lot of fun and good times, even getting involved in jello wrestling, the best way to settle disputes. And more Emily, which is always a good thing! Plus, you know, the Eradicators have their own minds, wants and whatnot, so not all of them agree with what Emily did, and just as many already forgave her for it, too.

And, you know…jello wrestling. Maid outfits. Small Mode Emily and Adam, dancing on Charlie's hands. Just real cute shit all around.

And the birthday song and cake itself. I'm still not a songwriter or anything, so I don't know how good 'Always In Bloom' actually is, but it came from the heart and that's what's important. Plus, I've always wanted to try candied flowers.

And then the birthday wishes, oho…yup, The Few seeing Immaculara more often is gonna be a thing. If you've got an easy way to show people history, why not fuckin' use it, eh?

And then…well, how often does the opportunity for an Archangel to learn something new come around?

And yeah, there was more to Pansy wanting them to see Immaculara 1.1 onwards than just distracting everyone, and Charlie's got more questions now…

That's it, that's all I got for notes…next time, well, it would be quite rude of me to have set up these last two or so chapters of fun and games and wholesome character interaction so you're unprepared for the gutpunch to follow, wouldn't it?

Next chapter, Nifty's backstory.

Thanks as always to NSG for being the man, why don't you check him out and tell him I sent you? I've got the inside track, so I know some good shit is coming along soon.

Another big thanks to all the peeps in the discord, both my own and the FMC. thanks dudes.

And the last, biggest thanks to all yalls who've been reading this li'l story of mine. I appreciate you taking the time to come and read. If you liked it, why not leave a review and comment or all that? Either way, I hope you enjoyed it.

Stay Awesome!

~Soleneus

P.S.: I also just got a new job, one with way better and more stable hours, plus benefits. It shouldn't impact my writing all that much, but even still I'm working on chapter 22 right now, so I've got a backlog for at least the next two weeks…

…I'll admit, that's really kinda nice.

Ya boi's moving up in the world, one step at a time.

…Also my birthday's coming up next month, would be really nice if Earn It had a tvtropes page, just sayin…would be nice. Nice gift. Just sayin.

Stay Awesome Some More.

~still Soleneus

Lute, Pansy (Hakari), Rebel, Terminator, Gladii x 2, Thrash, Ficus, Walker, Edge, Charity, Match, Tensei, Australia, Omen, Carol, Juno, Diana, Silvie, Brook, Creek, Cardamom, Bastille, Zilch, Norn, Ophelia, Yari, Sarah, Fate, Geist (Rina), Solemn, Xi, Heck, Modal, Quaint (2B), Ubel, Verity, Proche, Freya, Twins, Gluteus, Sanguinara the Devourer of Blood (Devo), Left (Anby), Right (Soldier 11), Robin, Pine, Hinata, Summer, Winter, Autumn, Spring, Mary.