Isabella helped Antione and Evka as what remained of the Grey Wardens stood in the Fade. The eluvian had taken them back to the island that held the rest of Anderfels' eluvians, which was fortunate. Isabella wasn't sure if there would be room at the lighthouse for a few hundred wounded Wardens. Evka checked on the people as Antione took a headcount as the Wardens filed through the Lavendel mirror.
Davrin had stayed back to help as the rest of the team went back to the lighthouse. She couldn't blame them. Weisshaupt was a nightmare that she wanted to forget, even if she felt guilty of the notion. Davrin helped Evka, now acting First Warden, as they tried to mend whoever had made it through the eluvian. They would need to return to Weisshaupt once the darkspawn left to check for lingering survivors, even if the chances were slim.
The Crow offered help to each person with a kind smile, surprising nearly every Warden. They had heard of Rook from their late leader as being a crazed lunatic believing in fairy tales to convince people to sacrifice themselves for a false cause. Only, Rook wasn't crazy, and the cause wasn't false. The gods were real, and they were out for blood.
A few of the guards apologized to Isabella, to which she dismissed the thought, assuring them they had nothing to be sorry for. Instead, she asked if they needed anything, keeping the focus of their needs and conditions.
Eventually, the remaining Wardens returned to Lavendel, leaving Davrin, Antione, and Evka with Isabella. The Crow showed her exhaustion then, leaning against a boulder near her once the Wardens were out of sight. Davrin reached out to her, but she brushed his hand away with a grimace.
"I'm glad you came when you did," Evka informed with a sigh. "It could've been a lot worse if the First Warden had his way in the war room."
"I just wish I had arrived sooner," Isabella lamented, hanging her head. The images she had been pushing from her mind during the battles came flooding in. The dead filled the walls of Weisshaupt now, and they hadn't even taken out the goddess responsible.
"I know it doesn't feel like it, but we saved a lot of lives today. You saved every Warden in Lavendel, Rook," Antione reminded as she shook her head.
"That dragon trap was your idea, Antione," she reminded.
"And yet I wasn't the one waving that dagger trying to lure it down," the Warden countered.
"Let's get some rest. I'll keep an eye out for anything strange," Evka informed with a nod.
"Maybe we could see where those darkspawn went, if you have anyone willing to follow them. They had to have come from somewhere," Isabella mentioned as Ekva smirked.
"You don't take a day off, do you?" she teased mirthlessly. "I'll see what I can do. If we hear anything, you'll be the first to know."
"Stay safe," Davrin added as the two Wardens left for Lavendel.
Isabella deflated more once they were gone, feeling the weight on her shoulders weigh her down. Davrin touched her shoulder as she grabbed his hand, staring at the ground.
"We should get back to the lighthouse," the monster hunter suggested as she nodded.
"I agree. I could use a cup of coffee. I'd take tea at this point," Isabella whispered, pushing herself up against the rock to stand. "Assan will be glad to see you."
"Yeah, that's true," Davrin agreed with a trying smile. Isabella sighed, shaking her head.
When they returned to the lighthouse, the rest of the team had gathered in the dining hall around the table. Isabella removed her cape and weapons at the door, placing them on the couch nearby as Davrin folded his arms. It seemed that everyone was eager for a debrief before resting, which Isabella wasn't exactly up for. She barely had control of her emotions at it was, and she was sure that it wouldn't stay that way.
Regardless, she walked to the empty seat clearly left for her at the end of the table as Davrin sat next to Bellara at the other end. Lucanis had opted to sit closest to her, and Isabella found that comforting. He had been her rock thus far, maybe he would be during this.
Harding began the debrief, explaining that Commander Janos had held the line long enough for the civilians to escape to Lavendel long before they arrived. Isabella listened, relieved that there weren't any civilian casualties. The scout continued, explaining that the Wardens had shored up there as well, using it as their base of operations for the time being.
"What's left of them anyway," Davrin reminded darkly. Isabella held her breath for a moment, turning to the Warden. "We had thousands of Wardens before, and now we have a few hundred. After one archdemon and a goddess. They nearly wiped out the entire Order."
"They died heroes. Each and every one," Isabella informed, knowing her words fell short as they felt like ash on her tongue. Davrin stared at her for a moment, and she could feel that he knew she was trying to comfort him.
"In Victory, Sacrifice," he repeated before shaking his head. "Only, this doesn't feel like a victory."
"We did kill her archdemon! That's something," Bellara reminded, trying to lighten the mood. Isabella swallowed, knowing that the Jumper was right.
"It's an incredibly impressive accomplishment," Neve remarked, folding her hands in her lap. Davrin clenched his jaw, holding onto his thoughts for now.
"Only after the damned thing turned into a snake monster with too many heads," Taash reminded brashly. They looked around the table, searching for more concern. "Are all blighted dragons going to do that? Because I don't know how to fight that."
"At least the source of Ghilan'nain's immortality is dead. She's mortal now," Emmrich added before Davrin shook his head.
"Mortal, immortal. None of it means a damn if we can't get close enough," he reminded, staring at Emmrich. "We had our shot, and we missed."
"Say what you're thinking, Warden," Lucanis piped up darkly, drawing in the Warden's scowl. "Imissed."
"No one blames you for that, Lucanis," Harding reminded urgently.
"There wasn't-" Isabella started, wanting to reassure Lucanis that it truly wasn't his fault that the goddess hit him with a pillar of rotten blight.
"Well, maybe I do," Davrin interrupted, his anger at the situation now directed at the assassin. Isabella stopped and stared at the Warden, surprised by him. He was by her side when they both saw what had happened. "This Crow has a demon inside him, right? Maybe the demon has been pulling his punches."
"Davrin," Isabella warned calmly, trying to diffuse the conversation.
"Now, wait just-," Emmrich added, also trying to help.
"And you, Warden? What about the blight that courses through your veins? The same blight that Ghilan'nain commands so effortlessly?" Lucanis hissed as Davrin sneered, baring his teeth.
"You two need-" Isabella tried again before Davrin clenched his fist.
"How do we know that's not the demon talking right now? How do we know which one is Spite, and which one is Lucanis? How do we know that the demon isn't just manipulating the body of the Crow?" the Warden dug in as Lucanis narrowed his eyes.
"Just how I'm not certain that the gods aren't manipulating your body? Is that why you didn't die when you killed the archdemon? Seems a little convenient that you talk about making a sacrifice, and yet here you stand," the Crow taunted before Isabella put both her hands on the table.
"Stop it, both of you! You both know better that this," she nearly shouted, her nerves raw and frantic.
"Maybe you should've thought twice before hiring this man to join the team," Davrin shot back without thinking, staring at Isabella.
"He is the best mage killer this side of Thedas. We need him to fight against the gods, just as we need you, and everyone on this team," Isabella argued firmly, her eyes widening slightly. She didn't understand why Davrin was attacking her now.
"And yet this team has failed to kill one god when we needed to most," Davrin reminded harshly. Isabella let the silence fall around them as the unspoken part shouted in her mind.
The team she had built had failed because her plan wasn't good enough. Her plan had fallen short, and Wardens died because of it. If she had made a better plan, maybe Ghilan'nain would've been killed instead of leading her remaining darkspawn back to whatever dark cavern she spawned them in.
Isabella abruptly stood, glancing at Lucanis, who said nothing. He wouldn't even look at her as he glowered at the table in front of him with a clenched fist. She looked around the table as Davrin took a deep breath. Whether or not he regretted his words, he didn't say.
"I think we ought to clear our heads. Today was too much for words to express, especially in Trade speech. The team will meet here tomorrow and figure out a new plan," Isabella informed before gesturing for them to leave.
The team filtered out as she stood back, leaning against the stairs to the balcony above her. She could see Harding and Neve hesitating near her, but she ignored them. Isabella couldn't speak to them, not right now. Not with everything going in and outside of her mind. Once the hall was empty, she inhaled and closed her eyes. While she wanted to wail and sob, she refrained. She had one thing she wanted to do before she needed to release her emotions.
Isabella walked over to the pantry door and knocked twice. She heard a noncommittal assent for her to enter before she opened the door. Lucanis seemed a little relieved that it was her, even if he was angry and upset still.
"Are you alright?" Isabella asked, walking a few steps towards him.
"I'm fine," he snapped as she frowned.
"So, no," she whispered, trying her best not to slump her shoulders.
"She was right there, Rook. Right there!" he nearly shouted. "I don't fail my contracts. This isn't who I am."
"Luca, it's alright. I asked you to do the impossible, and you haven't failed. It's just a setback," Isabella tried to reassure. Lucanis glowered, grimacing at the shelf, unable to look her in the eye. She took a hesitant step forward. "I asked you to stab a cloud in the sky."
"And I missed the damn cloud!" he bellowed, gesturing towards the ceiling in frustration.
"She threw a giant pillar of blight at you from the ground. The fact that you cut her face open was still impressive," she offered. He said nothing, his anger deepening. She sighed, rubbing her arm in a brief show of vulnerability. "Would it be too forward to say that I'm just glad you made it back alive with us?"
"What?" he asked, now more confused than upset.
"With everything that was going on, I didn't know if any of us were going to make it out," Isabella explained before she shrugged. "And I'm glad you made it especially. Forget about the contract for a moment."
"That's why I'm here," Lucanis reminded firmly as she sighed.
"I know, but you didn't get killed. Can we at least be grateful for that for a moment?"
"You shouldn't go easy on me. Mistakes get our people killed."
"Well, in our line of work, so do successes," Isabella added lightly, offering some perspective before she sighed. "You are focusing too much on the negative, Luca. You almost did the impossible, and you came out of it alive with blood on the dagger. That's not small."
"I don't need the Sentimental Crow routine, Rook. Not right now," Lucanis informed sternly, shaking his head. Isabella clicked her jaw shut, feeling her eyes water slightly.
"Right, of course. Sorry, I thought the Not Quite Crow could help," Isabella replied before she held herself a little taller. Lucanis noted the change immediately. "I should let you get back to work, right? Work clears the mind."
"The sooner we can end the contract, the sooner we can return to normal," Lucanis reminded, stepping closer to her. Isabella blinked at him, slightly confused by his words. "Once I kill the gods, we can return to Treviso."
"Of course," Isabella added, nodding her head once. "I'll let you get back to your work."
"Rook," Lucanis started as she watched him. "I will finish this contract. I promise."
"Crows never abandon a contract," she agreed with a deep breath. He took a step closer to her before she turned and left.
Isabella swallowed as she blinked the tears away. She wasn't sure what she expected from Lucanis, but she hadn't expected whatever that was. She thought that he had approved of her nontraditional Crow traits, but it seemed that he only liked them when it suited him. Maybe she should've been more upfront about her nickname and what it meant. Maybe he would've worded it differently or said something completely different. What did she expect from the grandson of the First Talon, anyway? Her sentimentality was probably a novelty to him at best.
Grabbing her weapons and cape, she left the dining hall and walked to her cottage. She needed to think before she made her decision. Davrin had been right. It was her choice to build this team, and it was her team that failed. She was the one who made the half-assed plan that hadn't killed the goddess, letting her teammates second guess themselves.
She collapsed on her bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering what Viago would tell her. First, he would tell her that working with a large group was stupid. Crows worked better in groups of two or three for a reason. Second, he would tell her that this was only partially her fault. She wasn't fully to blame, and she didn't have full control over the situation.
Weisshaupt was full of impossible situations, and she was able to get her team out. Even if the Order was nearly wiped out. She sighed, knowing that placing the blame solely on her was folly. She wasn't the one who killed all those Wardens or put Weisshaupt in danger. At the root of it all, Solas was the one to blame. Still, the guilt ate away at her at the way her team looked at her. Even if she didn't blame herself, the trust she had built had been shaken.
Standing, she wandered over to her desk and pulled out a quill and parchment. Emmrich and Neve were the only two at the table who had a clear head at the end. With Neve gone so much in Minrathous, Isabella began drafting a notice of resignation, placing Emmrich in charge.
In the end, Isabella had done what she had set out to do. She had stopped Solas's ritual as the contract entailed. Even Viago had declared the contract completed. She was the one who extended it to include the gods. She simply needed to rearrange the clientele and the subjects to remove her from it. As Lucanis said, he would complete the contract. It was legally binding by any Crow standard, and she decided to let him do what he wished.
She also drafted a second letter to Emmrich, explaining more of her reasoning and why he was left in charge. Her duties of leadership were simple as she just helped each faction where she could while tracking the gods. Lucanis was with her the whole time, so the Crow could help the necromancer when needed.
Hopefully, the team would thrive under Emmrich's skill and knowledge. He had mentioned that he had led expeditions and ceremonial rites before, so leading a team against the gods shouldn't be much of a leap from that. It was a lot more experience than she had at least.
Once she was certain that the team was asleep and that Lucanis was squirreled away in the pantry, she posted the resignation to her door. Whoever found it could share with the others. Before going to the eluvian room, she placed the second note on Emmrich's door quietly. It would be a shock for him to wake up and find it, but they would be fine. They had survived worse.
Isabella walked through the eluvian into the Crossroads, wanting no trace of where she had gone. She had cleaned her cottage of her few belongings as she made the trip to Treviso, not saying a word to the Caretaker as she was carted off to the right eluvian island. With luck, none of the team would come looking. They would move on, and she would be able to get back on with her life as she should have done a few months ago instead of playing the hero.
Lucanis stared at the pantry door for nearly an hour, replaying the conversation in his head with Rook. He had noticed a moment when a mask started to slip back into her face, but he hadn't caught the words he had said that had caused it. He just remembered the panic that gripped his heart when he saw her walls go up as her vulnerability disappeared.
He did remember trying to calm her, talking about ending the contract quickly. He knew that he was blathering, not saying what he actually meant. The sooner he could kill the goddess, the sooner the power dynamic between them would disappear. The professionality between them would vanish, and he would be able to return his affections more freely. Of course, that was another reason why he hadn't followed Rook out the door.
Was he really ready to admit that his feelings for her were his own? Or was Davrin right and Spite influenced him more than he realized? And if the latter was true, how would Rook take it when both of them found out? Would he still feel the same if he knew that his affections stemmed from Spite all along?
Coward.
Not now, Spite.
You know. The truth!
Do I? Do I know the truth? Or are you manipulating me into thinking that?
I am Spite. Not manipulation.
Helpful advice from a demon.
Trapped in circles. Constant circles!
What are you talking about now?
Never straight thinking. Always backtracking. Never new thoughts.
Piss off.
You overthink. Now Rook is gone.
She's just clearing her head. She's fine.
Go get her. Talk with her. Find her.
Fine, but in the morning after she sleeps. Today was a rough day.
Rook needs… comfort.
And you want to provide it.
…Can I?
…I don't know.
Lucanis sat down on his bed as Spite left his mind to pace the pantry in thought. The thought of a demon comforting a person was strange and completely unheard of. Of course, their situation was unique, which made Spite especially unique.
He leaned back, grabbing the now cold cup of coffee off the nightstand. He had hoped to maybe have Rook entertain Spite for a few hours to get some sleep, but he knew that wasn't going to happen now. Not while she was upset. So, he sipped the frigid liquid, watching the demon walked back and forth, trying to figure out how to comfort.