ANOTHER FINE MESS

Based upon the episode by Paul Larson

Adapted by Zack Wanzer and Rachel Ravens

The engines of the Kirk Ronan line are very proud to have such beautiful sights. From the tourist attraction of Rolf's Castle, to the little harbor at the namesake station. However, there is one such sight that Johnson, Lauren and Julie are not too fond of…

"They still haven't thought about tearing that old mine down, have they?" Lauren asked one day. "I swear, that place is a complete eyesore!"

"Forget eyesore," gasped Julie. "It gives me the creeps!"

"It's a nuisance, is what I call it," huffed Johnson. "It may have been a useful mine back in its heyday, but every time we're diverted there by mistake? Give me a break!"

"Hey, you three," called Wendy; the purple bus drove up alongside the sheds. "If it'll make you three feel better, I heard that someone's thinking about using that old mine for something else."

"What for?" asked Julie.

"That, I don't know," admitted Wendy. "But look on the bright side – if all goes well, there might be more trains for the three of you."

"Oh, wow!" gasped Lauren. "That will be good for our branch line."

"What if we get so much work, we need a fourth engine to join us?" asked Julie. "Maybe Nicole or Katie could rejoin the railway as permanent members!" She let out a giggle in delight.

"Well, it has been a while since we last saw them," Johnson admitted. "I do miss our other Midland friends."

"When was the last time one of them visited?" wondered Lauren.

"I can't remember," sighed Julie. "Things must've been so busy on the railway that we hadn't thought to ask someone like James or Henry."

The engines all set off to work with Wendy traveling to pick up her passengers.

At the abandoned mine, some inspectors were coming with the person interested in using the land for their project.

"Are you sure you want to use this area?" asked one of the inspectors.

"Yes," nodded the business owner. "I think here would make a great halt for a café. The engines get diverted here so often by mistake, it would be a shame for this space to go to waste."

"Right, we'll have to look over the area to ensure that the foundations are safe."

The head inspector strolled over to the various buildings. As Julie had witnessed a few years ago, most of them had sunken into the ground.

"Perhaps the ground has become solid by now," suggested another inspector. But as she walked, she felt one of her feet slowly sinking into the ground.

"Get back!" the head inspector cried, and yanked her away just as a sinkhole formed. They dashed away just in time.

"Okay… maybe not," the other inspector gulped. "That was a close one! Thanks for saving me."

"That's alright," the head inspector sighed.

"Goodness me!" cried the to-be café owner, running over to see that the other inspector was alright. "Okay, perhaps this was a bad idea. I'm terribly sorry!"

Some time later, the head inspector gave his final report.

"I'm afraid that this building will have to be torn down," he decided. "We can't risk anyone getting hurt, and you might have to build a café elsewhere."

"I completely understand," she nodded. "Again, I do apologize for your colleague nearly getting hurt."

"This looks like a job for Packard and Co. to tear this building down," said the head inspector. "I shall give Miss Packard a call."

Miss Jenny was inside the workman's hut, where Alfie Jr. and Jet were snuggling on one of the couches. She gently stroked both the cat and dog as they licked her hand. Her happy moment was interrupted when the phone rang.

"Oh dear…" she said as she went to pick it up. "Hello? … Oh, really? … Of course we can. We'll be down there as soon as we can. … Right, good day to you too."

She hung up and went outside, Jet and Alfie Jr. close on her heels. "Everyone!" she announced. "The mines doon at th' Kirk Ronan line are deemed unstable."

"Oh dear!" cried Jasmine. "Was anyone hurt?"

"Thankfully, no," said Miss Jenny. "Th' worst that happened was that an inspector nearly fell into a sinkhole. That said, we've been tasked to demolish what remains o' th' old mine. Oliver, Ned," she added, turning to the bigger excavator and steam shovel, "this is a job that requires ye two."

"Understood, Miss Jenny," said Oliver.

"Alright!" grinned Ned; he always looked forward to whenever they were assigned a demolition job. "This will be great!"

"An' don't forget," finished Miss Jenny, "safety first!"

Soon, Oliver and Ned were being transported by rail to the Kirk Ronan branch line. James was the engine assigned to take them to the abandoned mine.

"What's so exciting about a demolition job?" asked James, confused.

"Why, knocking old buildings down, of course!" said Ned cheerfully. "Usually, I get in trouble if I'm too clumsy. But if the building had to come down anyway, it doesn't matter!"

"We must be careful though," added Oliver. "Th' ground isn't too stable."

"Indeed," agreed James. "Watch your backs…" He winced, thinking back to Thomas' fall into the mine at Toryreck.

Nonetheless, Oliver and Ned arrived at the abandoned mine without any problems. Julie was already there with some empty trucks.

"James, there you are!" she said in a chipper way. "Decided to join the Kirk Ronan branch line yet?"

"Very funny," remarked James, rolling his eyes.

"Just a thought," she giggled. "You never know when we need another set of buffers. Speaking of which, do you know when Nicole and Katie last visited us?"

"I… think they were last here when they left for the Rolling Hills," James admitted. "They must've been so busy there for the last six years that they didn't have the time to arrange a visit."

"Oh…" trailed Julie. "I see."

"Never mind, Julie," said James. "Maybe we'll see them again one day."

"Yeah," said Ned as he and Oliver were moved off of their flatbeds. "And perhaps the café can be built somewhere else on the branch line."

"Th' Pack wouldn't say no to helpin' build that," added Oliver.

"Thanks, guys," smiled Julie. "Ooh, if it is, Lauren, Johnson and I will bring more passengers and goods than it knows what to do with!"

Ned and Oliver chuckled as Miss Jenny and the banksmen checked them over. Miss Jenny gave them a thumbs up.

"Let's get demolishing!" cried Ned. "Bet I can take the old buildings apart faster than you can!"

"Actually, Ned," said Oliver, "I'm supposed to be th' one tearing th' buildings down. You're supposed to scoop up th' rubble."

"Ohhh…" Ned was most disappointed upon hearing that. He rolled over to Julie's trucks and started to load them up with rubble.

"What's the matter, Ned?" asked Julie. Ned sighed and quickly explained the situation.

"Oh, Ned…" Julie said quietly. "It is hard to be stuck with a job you don't like… almost as hard as losing a job that you love."

"Really?" asked Ned. "What happened to you?"

"Before I came to the Kirk Ronan branch," Julie explained, "Katie and I used to run at the coal mine together near Crosby. But then… the coal started to become poor quality. And eventually… only one of us was needed there. We alternated between there and Knapford yards for a few years before the mine collapsed… literally and figuratively."

Ned gasped quietly. "I didn't know you used to work there, Julie. I'm sorry that you can't ever work there again."

"It's alright, Ned," said Julie. "I've come to terms with it. But at the very least, there will be another chance for you to show off your 'demolition' skills, even if it's not today."

Ned chuckled. "You've got a point, Julie."

Meanwhile, Oliver was being fitted with his wrecking ball. Once they'd finished, Oliver carefully positioned himself for the first swing.

"Alright, everyone!" he called. "Stand back!"

The wrecking ball was released, it hit the wall, and–

"Hmm…"

–it didn't collapse.

"Perhaps a second swing ought to do it," suggested his banksman. Oliver agreed and readied his wrecking ball for another try. With another swing, the wrecking ball hit the wall again, but–

"Hmm…!"

–it still didn't collapse. The workmen were surprised and confused.

"This is most peculiar," said Oliver's banksman. "We'll need a bigger wrecking ball for this!"

And so, Oliver was fitted with a bigger wrecking ball.

"Keep clear!" he announced. "This could be th' one!"

He swung the bigger wrecking ball towards the wall, and despite the great impact, it still didn't collapse.

"…or not." Oliver looked disappointed with his new wrecking ball.

"What on earth was that wall made out of?" the foreman wondered as he and the banksman began to inspect it.

"This is the strongest wall I've ever tried to knock down," Oliver muttered in agreement.

Ned had overheard Oliver having trouble and rolled over to see what was up.

"Can I help out here in knocking this wall down?" he asked hopefully.

"No, Ned," said the foreman. "We still need you to dig up all that rubble!"

"Oh, right…" trailed Ned, disappointed. "Julie says that Johnson's gone to take it somewhere… but for the life of me, she didn't say where."

As it turned out, Johnson was bringing the rubble all the way up to Peel Godred, and he was traveling tender first because there was no turntable at Kellsthorpe Road.

"I don't know how Douglas managed this when he saved Oliver," he muttered to himself. "Well, the engine, not the excavator."

"Ah," said a female voice. "There you are, Johnson."

"Hi, Carole," he greeted. "Just taking this lot to Peel Godred… for whatever reason. It's not in the way of your tracks, is it?"

"Oh, of course not, Johnson," said Carole. "It's actually going to a waste dump that's being set up."

"Really?" gasped Johnson. "A waste dump… set up at Peel Godred… Wait a minute! You don't mean where Jacob Hockings used to own Sir Handel and Peter Sam, do you?"

"The very same," said Carole, before chuckling a little. "Imagine what he'd have to say about his old business being reduced to a literal dump!"

"He'd go mad about it, no doubt!" agreed Johnson.

"I imagine Stevie will be having a laugh from her place in the Great Railway," Carole smiled. "Hockings deserved this."

"I wonder what Sir Handel and Peter Sam will think," remarked Johnson.

Back at the demolition site, Julie had brought in more trucks to be filled with rubble, but Ned wasn't really focusing on his job at hand.

"…and then, the gnomes tumbled out of the trucks and I said– Double bouncing buffers, Ned!" Julie exclaimed. "You're meant to put the rubble in the trucks, not beside them!"

"Ohh… Sorry," said Ned.

"It's okay," said Julie. "Hey, at least you weren't as bad as Cranky." She chuckled. "The way I heard it, he blocked the tracks when slamming the pipes on the ground."

"Oh dear," remarked Ned. "Well, at least your track is still clear."

During that time, the workmen had managed to bring over the biggest wrecking ball that Oliver had ever seen.

"Ohhh, my!" he groaned as he began to lift. "I didn't think it was going to be this heavy! But I hope it'll be worth it if it means bringin' that wall down!"

Once more, Oliver positioned himself for the big swing, and launched the wrecking ball. It hit the wall hard… but it still wouldn't collapse!

"Oh, bother!" groaned Oliver in frustration. "So much fer third time lucky!"

"Will this wall ever come down?" groaned the foreman. "This building is practically indestructible!"

However, luck would soon come their way, albeit not in the way anyone would've expected, for Ned wasn't watching where he was going.

"Look out!" shouted his banksman. "You're going to hit that chimney!"

"What– Oof!"

Suddenly, there was a loud rumbling noise, and the chimney began to crumble.

"TAKE COVER!" yelled the foreman. He, the workmen and banksmen quickly hid in some empty oil drums to avoid the falling debris, while Oliver and Julie backed away.

"Hey, don't leave us behind!" cried the trucks, but there was nothing Julie or her crew could do.

The chimney began to tip over towards the way of the building. It crashed right into the old building, and the bricks crumbled away. The roof hit the ground with a thud, the windows shattered on impact, and the walls finally collapsed!

"Oh no!" cried Ned. "I'm so sorry, everyone!" But to his surprise, the foreman, workmen and banksmen began to cheer.

"That's done the trick!" said one of the workmen. "Well done, Ned!"

"Bust my buffers!" exclaimed Julie, puffing up to the trucks. "We're going to need a lot more trucks for all of this rubble!"

"I've done it! I've done it!" cheered Ned, rolling up to Oliver. "Smashed it to smithereens! Do you need any more help in knocking things down?"

"No!" sighed Oliver. "I think you've done enough for one day!"

Miss Jenny came over to Ned, smiling. "Spot on, Ned!" she said. "Ye'd make a mother proud."

"Thank you, Miss Jenny," he replied.

"Now, I think I'd better call up Max an' Monty to help deliver this rubble to th' dump," she chuckled. "In th' meantime, ye may want to clear Julie's tracks."

"Oh! Of course," Ned agreed, and quickly set to work. Oliver offered to help out as well, and soon had his bucket refitted.

And what became of the would-be café owner? Eventually, she found another place along the branch line that was safe enough to build a new café.

"I don't suppose your crew could help to build it, Miss Jenny?" she asked.

"I think th' Pack would love that," Miss Jenny agreed. The two shook hands as Miss Jenny strolled off to tell her construction workers the good news.

THE END

Author's Comments

We're on the home stretch when it comes to rewriting the Pack episodes for Series 6-7 Redux, and Another Fine Mess is one of the best, as well as one of the funniest episodes of the franchise's history. Especially the ending. The main events aren't that much different from the canon episode, save for additions like why the building (as previously seen in Oh Gnome! in Part 1) was being demolished, and a bit of foreshadowing into the Peel Godred waste dump that would be established by the time Whiff officially arrives. Not much else to say other than it's a fairly standard rewrite.

Upcoming rewrites:

- The Star of the Show (Harold and the Flying Horse/Percy Gets it Right)

- Bill, Ben and Mavis

- Salty's Stormy Tale

- Stick with Steam (Mud, Glorious Mud/Pop Goes the Diesel)

- Hockings' Last Stand (Trusty Rusty)