I can't keep going! I truly can't. It's Valentine's Day. It's….another Valentine's Day all alone. This is just wonderful. Almost graduated College and I'm still a lonely piece of shit. It hurts even more when my own roommate has a Valentine and I'm just sitting there, as they're being all romantic, feeling the most awkward I have ever felt. The only good thing to come out of Valentine's Day is that my college has lessons canceled for the day, so there's that.
I step out of the shower and look into the mirror. My black hair is draped over my head, more so than normal for the fact that it's, well, wet. My hair isn't long enough to cover my eyes when it's wet, so I like that. I dried off my body. This may be a bit much, but dammit! I wish puberty hit me more than it did. Sure, my voice changed. But I can't grow any body hair! This sucks. No one is going to like me if I don't seem more….manly. And what better way to seem manly than with body hair? I don't even have a shred of pubic hair. How pathetic.
The door to the bathroom shot open and my roommate, Link, stood in the doorway. He's an odd one. Apparently, he comes from an orphanage where there were some other Links? I dunno. All I know is that apparently, his nickname is YL. He crossed his arms. "Dude, look at yourself. You're a mess," he told me.
"Well, to be fair, I just got out of the shower and have yet had the time to, you know, dress up."
"What were you doing? Jacking off? Hurry up."
"Why?" Nothing really exciting happens for me. I was told all of these college stories about people just straight up having orgies in the middle of the damn classrooms and shit like that. So far, I have not seen a single orgy. I am quite disappointed, to say the least.
"Just put some clothes on. Or don't. I straight up don't care. Just hurry it up, I need to tell you something!" Link closes the door and only leaves me wondering….if this something is soooo important that he barged into my bathroom, where I truly could have been jacking it, why not just tell me? Well, Link is known for making things more difficult than they truly needed to be.
I look back into the mirror at my wet hair and decide to try and comb it to look better, but I'm not a fucking hairstylist, I can't do shit with it. I just simply move the hair from my forehead. It'll be good enough. I quickly put the clothes I had on before the shower, back on. I leave the bathroom and see Link, and his boyfriend, Mega. It's a weird name for a weird person. Something about this Mega person honestly made me feel like he was some type of robot….I'm just jealous though. Mega is a handsome dude. He looks very neat, very direct, yet something about him still holds this childish innocence that left me back when I first learned what Masturbating was….God that sent me down a spiral of the internet that I wish not to ever go back to. Ok, who am I even fooling, I go to it like twice a day or some shit. Thank god for Incognito Mode.
"So, what is it? I have a date with my bed to go to." Mega and Link look at each other with this weird look in their eyes. They always confuse me. They often seem to communicate by just looking at each other. That seems like a relationship thing, so I guess I'll never know how it feels. "Hello?" They look back at me and motion for me to sit down on the couch opposite them, which I do so cause why the hell not.
"Ok, so….you're a lonely piece of shit," Link said. Mega slaps his shoulder.
"For the record, I have plenty of friends."
"Yes. But friends can only get you so far." I cross my arms. What the hell is he implying?
"We don't see you going out with anyone. No partner, no dates, nothing." Yup. There it is. They're trying to play Matchmaker. I hate when they do this. They've tried this a few times, I've gotten used to Link saying I needed a partner. He doesn't understand, though, I'm not nearly good enough to have a partner.
"Ok. And?"
"Well, there's this party-" Oh fuck no. A party? In college? That can't mean anything good. I stand up and cross my arms.
"Fuck off. I'm not going to a party."
"What! But you constantly complain that you don't see orgies! What better place to see them than a party." I mean, Link isn't lying. But still. A party is just not my thing. What am I gonna do? Drink? I have too high of a tolerance to actually get drunk, I would know from personal experience.
"Come on, Ness, just this once. Please," Mega pleads with me. I don't get what they get for trying to find me a partner. Are they voyeurs and just wanna watch me have sex? I mean, I'm not one to kink-shame but damn.
"What do I get out of this? Going to a party and not doing fuck?" Link sighs. He hates when I talk like this. I know. But it's true. I can't imagine anyone liking me. And if they do, what the hell would they like me for? Appearance? I look as basic as a white girl in Starbucks with a damn pumpkin spice latte. Can't get more basic than that. My eyes? Sure, they're special, I don't know anyone with violet eyes, but are my eyes enough to make someone like me? Doubt it.
"They'll have steak." ….steak. Fuck yes! I love steak! Especially the nice Prime Rib, medium rare, fresh off the stove still steaming….god, my mouth is watering already. I cross my arms.
"Fine. I guess I can go there for a second."
"Great!" Link stands up and grabs my arm. "Let's get going."
"Wait…NOW!?"
"Yeah."
"But it's like…midnight."
"Exactly. Let's get the hell outta here."
"I'm driving," Mega says as he spins the keys around his finger. I'm already starting to regret this. I've just got to center my mind on one thing…the delicious, meaty, big steak that will be in my mouth. Ahhh, the steak better be worth it, or I swear to god both Link and Mega will be getting vasectomies after this.
I get into the car, of course sitting in the back. I see Link giving Mega a kiss, and I fake a gag before looking out the window. I do want a relationship. I would love to have one. But Valentine's is so soon, and it being my 20th Valentine's Day alone is not very good. Granted, the first like…10 I probably shouldn't have a Valentine, but at least I got some cards.
I don't think we're even on the road to the party, and I can already hear the blaring music. I should've brought some earmuffs or something to just drown out the music. It's not even good music either. It's like they took every single elevator music, mashed them together, and then remixed it. It's the literal embodiment of shit. The car stops in front of the house and Link looks back at me. "Better not stay in the car." I roll my eyes before stepping out.
Hmmm, the dorm isn't very far from here. I can easily walk back if I need to. "Good luck, Man." Link walks, while holding Mega's hand, into the party. Let's just get this over with. I walk over to the entrance of the party. There's a few guys out here, but they're drinking and don't pay a single mind to me. I walk into the large house and somehow the music is slightly more bearable. Only slightly. Now to find those steaks.
I walk around the building, trying to find the kitchen within the crowd. Thankfully for my sanity, I do wind up finding the kitchen. I look around….that damned elf lied to me! They don't have steaks! That bitch! I slam the door to the fridge closed and groan. I made this trip to not even have the steaks that were promised to me. Might as well drink a bit before leaving.
There's a table dedicated to the booze and, strangely enough, chocolate chip cookies. I get a red solo cup and pour some of the booze. I soon feel a presence behind me. If it's Link, I'm slamming this damn bottle into his head. I turn my head to find a blonde boy who already looks pretty off his hinges. He hiccups in my face and I get a huge whiff of booze. "Gross, dude." I step aside and he snatches the drink from my hands. "You think, maybe, you had enough."
"FFFFFUCK OFF!" he responds. His voice is higher-pitched than I imagined. Looking him up and down I also don't see much. His arms and legs are smooth, much like mine, he's paler, and he's even more skinny. He tries to lift the drink up to his face but he stumbles back a bit.
"Yeah, I think you had enough." He flips me off before trying to drink some of the drink…but completely misses his mouth and just pours it onto the ground. Ugh, this guy is going to kill himself at this rate. I take the bottle and place it on the table.
"Snap out of it. You can't even drink properly. I think you've had more than enough." I see the boy try to regain his footing, but it's clear from all the leaning he's failing. This boy…such an idiot. I see a vacant couch and grab his arm and start to drag him over. I don't want to have the responsibility of this boy, but Mom always said if I can intervene and help, I should. It's obvious he tries to fight back, but he's too drunk to really do anything successfully, much less strike me.
I push him onto the couch and he simply giggles. "Gonnnna ride my diiiick~," he says with a very drunken and broken giggle. I roll my eyes. Gross.
"You're going to stay there until you stop being drunk." He crosses his arms and looks away from me before giving a powerful hiccup. I sit down near him, but now close enough for him to make a move on me, and just watch some tv. I don't know what show is on, looks like some rip-off of Spongebob. It's better than a steak-less party. That's for sure. I sit there for a bit and watch the tv. Soon enough, I hear some noise from my left. I look over and see that he got closer. "What're you doing?"
"I wanna cuddddddle…." God, he's so unbearable. I look at the tv.
"Shut up. Don't touch me."
"Please."
"No."
"Please."
"No."
"Please."
"No."
"PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE!" God, why is he so damn annoying! This dude needs to get a fucking life already. I look back at him and see his face. His stupid, drunken, annoying….cute face. Ok ok ok, I will admit one thing about him, he's cute. But his annoyance outweighs his cuteness. He opens his mouth to continue his pleading.
"Shut up! God!" I look back at the tv and sigh. If I let him do this, it'll shut him up, hopefully. I swear, if I end up being….no, let's not think like that. I'm strong enough to fight him if I need to. "You can cuddle me. But I swear to god if you try to fondle me or be a creepy motherfucker, you're getting stabbed, got it?"
"Uh-huh!" He comes closer and I smell his breath. It's so warm and hot that it nearly makes me throw up right there on the spot. I'm surprised I didn't just gag honestly. He rests his head against my shoulder. His hair is clearly conditioned and modeled to look the way it does. I can't really describe its shape, but it sorta reminds me of ice cream. If there was a weirdly yellow-colored ice cream. I don't think I'd trust that ice cream. Whether it's lemon or piss, I'd hate it.
GAH! How long has it been? An hour? 2? 5! I've been here, on this damn couch, with this drunk cutie on my damn shoulder for god knows how long. I've got the damn intro song of this show stuck in my head, playing on a loop.
-Come and get me. Come and get me. Come and get me, NOW! Fluff fluff flufferbuddy! Fluff fluff flufferbuddy!-
I mean, it's not much of an intro. But like, still, it's annoying! I just wanna punt this damn Fluff kid into the sun so he burns up into a million different particles! Turn him into Ikaris!...ok, now that that is off of my shoulders, I wanna go home. I think I'm finally fed up with this steak-less party. I look at the boy and….dammit, he's asleep. No wonder he wasn't pestering me. He was asleep.
Soon enough, Link and Mega walk over. Their faces instantly grow upset when they see me. "Oh, God…Ness, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know-" Link started.
"We…we didn't know Lucas was gonna be here. If we did, we wouldn't have had you come," Mega continues. God, they even finish each other's sentences? Call me an Incel, but with dudes, cause GOD THIS IS ANNOYING! Sometimes I wanna just slap these two.
"Does he always get this drunk?"
"Yeah. He's seen as the campus drunk. Every party he goes to he gets so drunk he blacks out and one of the partiers needs to take him to his dorm."
"Guess that's me…"
"Ness…listen, I-" Link tries to make this all sound better, but he really doesn't get it. I was lied to, to come to a party. I witnessed the campus drunk first hand. I got hit on by said drunk. I'm forced to cuddle with the drunk. And now I need to take him home? How worse could a party get?
"Just tell me where his dorm is. And never invite me to a damn party again, assholes."
"It's…it's dorm 4C," Mega says.
"Listen, Ness. We just wanted you to get a chance to meet a guy you'd like." I pick Lucas up since he's not very heavy. Not at all. He's all too skinny to be of any real troublesome weight. I look at Link.
"I hope you're the bottom."
"How is that an insult?" Mega questions. I look at him. He's the asshole here.
"Nevermind. I hope you're the bottom." Before either of them can come up with a witty remark, I leave the building. I hope I never need to go back there. But, even now, I can't be at home. I need to walk this drunk asshole home. And by walk, I mean just carry. I can't thank god enough for Lucas being so skinny. Although, it does make me wonder. Why does he always get black-out drunk at parties? Is he really just that big of a drinker? For some reason, looking at his overall innocent and cute face, he doesn't seem like the drinking type. He can't be younger than 19, but he seems to have the same issue as me, being unable to grow hair anyway outside of their head. Or, at least, it's the case from what exposed skin I can see. I don't see EVERY part of him.
I eventually make it to the dorm building. It's a 10-floor building, with each floor having 26 rooms. My room is 7W. Thank god again for having the elevator. If I needed to take the stairs all the way up to the 7th floor, I think I would retire from life. Commit Sudoku. The elevator music is also pretty calming. I can often close my eyes and bop my head to it. I hear the ding, notifying me that the elevator reached its destination…..why am I explaining elevators?
I enter the floor that has Lucas's room and start walking toward it. It's not too far from the elevator, so it doesn't take too long to get there. I get to the dorm and try to open it, but of course, as I probably should've expected, it's locked. Motherfucker. This guy better have his key in his pocket. I reach into his pocket and thankfully, I do find the key. I use it to unlock the door and step in. The dorm is what I expected. Most of the dorms are exactly the same, aside from those that are on the top floor, those ones are more extravagant and luxurious. I walk through his dorm and find the bedroom. I place him on the bed I assume to be his since it's the only one with any type of…well anything around it. I decide to be nice and tuck him in.
I then see a framed photo on the nightstand. I grab it and look at the photo, cause curiosity and shit. It's a photo of Lucas. He's with a boy his age, I'm assuming it's a twin. They look nearly identical aside from hair color and eye color. There's a dog there, which looks very cute. And two other, older, people. I assume they're his parents. Lucas looks happy in this photo. Yet, when I look at him now, he looks utterly depressed. I wonder what changed.
Welp, whatever. Not my problem. I put the photo down and walk out of the bedroom. I make it to the door out and…I can't leave. I need to stay here to make sure he's ok. Damn conscience. Jimminy Cricket, go fuck yourself and let me leave this dorm already. Well shut up and do something good for once. It's not good, it's creepy! Staying in someone's dorm, waiting for them to wake up! Well, that's a risk that needs to be taken to ensure his safety, bitch! So do it already. Is my conscience supposed to cuss at me? You're not even supposed to be having a back and forth with your conscience like this. You're really fucked up man. Don't you think I already know that? Just stay here already, damn!
….I need therapy.
I decide to listen to the stupid cricket in my head and walk back to the bedroom. There's a second bed there so I sit on it and use my phone to wait until Lucas wakes up. It doesn't feel too long, but that's most likely because of the phone. Call me insane, but I like Tiktok. I know I know, I should be put to death. And I would agree with you. But it helps pass the time, for sure.
Lucas wakes up and screams loudly. "WHO ARE YOU!" Lucas asks before gripping his head. I put the phone up.
"The person who brought you home. You'd think, if you constantly drink so much you blackout, you'd be used to strangers in your dorm."
"None of them stay to watch me sleep, creep!" Is he really calling me a creep? I'm the one to have helped him and stayed to make sure he was safe. Damn you conscience. I stand up.
"I stayed to make sure you're safe. That is all. And, for the record, you're the creep. Hitting on me and shit." Lucas's eyes lowered.
"Sorry…" Dammit, he looks guilty. Fuck. Now I feel bad for him. Damn it. Sometimes I wished I didn't have emotions. I simply sigh before looking at him.
"It's fine. You were drunk." Lucas looks up at me and….god, he has amazing eyes. They're a very pretty blue that seems to sparkle….shit, maybe I am a creep. Lucas smiles softly.
"How long were you waiting here?"
"I dunno, a few hours maybe." Lucas looks back down, he's clearly thinking of something. He seems to come up with an idea before looking back at me.
"I've got to make it up to you." He's a whole lot less annoying when he's not nearly black-out drunk.
"You really don't have to-"
"NO!" He tries to step out of the bed, but simply falls forward. I rush over to help him stand up. He really wants to make it up? That's…nice of him. "I need to make it up to you. I ruined your day."
"Well, it was ruined long before that, but….thank you."
"Don't thank me just yet, I'm gonna make you some food." Ooo, I haven't eaten in so long…..ok, like 10 hours, but still. I'm so damn hungry. This guy is speaking my language. "How does some nice steak sound?" YES! Fuck yes! STEAK!
"Uh, y-yeah, sounds good." Lucas smiles before stumbling out of the bedroom. It's still obvious he's trying to recover from his drunkenness, yet, it's obvious this isn't the first time he's needed to do this. But it's probably the first time he's going to cook for someone. I look back at the photo of him with his family. Maybe not. I'm sure they always want his cooking….especially if it's good. God, I hope it's good. I'd kill for a good steak right now. Please don't suck, Lucas.
I leave the bedroom and see him at the stove, struggling to stay standing as he grabs some oil and pours it into the pan. "You drink a lot?" Lucas shrugs.
"You can say that."
"Why? You don't seem like the type to drink." I sit at the dining room table before he looks back at me. He has a smile on his face.
"Looks can be deceiving, I guess." Not a very satisfying answer. It's like when stories turn out to just be a dream, like what the hell? Got freaking blue balled. But whatever, I don't really care enough. I just want my steak already. He turns toward me, much later on, and slides a play my way. It's empty.
"Did you eat my steak or something?" He's really fucking with me? Isn't he? Such an asshole! I want my steak!
"Relax, I just have a different way of plating." Lucas looks back at the steak and flips it onto its other side. I look around the table and see that there isn't another plate.
"Hey…you're not eating?" Lucas shakes his head.
"No. I'm not hungry." I look around his body. He looks to be a tad too thin to just outright say "I'm not hungry." Something is wrong with him, I can see it. He was way too light, he's way too skinny, he's a heavy drinker, and it looks like he's living in this dorm all by himself. There are two beds in the bedroom, but only one person is sleeping in there. Maybe I should investigate? What? What am I thinking about! This is a complete stranger who hit on me while he was drunk, I shouldn't even give a single shit about him. Yeah but….if something is wrong, then isn't it my duty to help? I'm not a damn psychiatrist! But, if something were to happen to him, and I could've figured out and prevented it, then I'd feel worse. "Hey? You ok?" I jump a bit and see him looking at me with these worried eyes. His pretty blue eyes are glimmering with worry. Way to sound creepy….again.
"Uh, y-yeah sorry." Lucas smiles before placing my steak on the plate in front of me. Oh god, the smell, it's…..it's so damn good! I look down at the steak and the searing is so immaculate, the steam coming off of the steak is so enticing. My mouth waters at the sight of everything. I swear, I think I'm going to pass out.
"Well, go on, try it." Lucas sits at the other side of the table and watches me. It would be creepy, but it's not like he's got much else to do really. So I'll give him a pass this time. I take a bite out of the steak and….god damn. It's so fucking good. Like honestly. The flavor, the cook on the food, it's all just so good. I take another bite and practically moan at its taste before looking over at Lucas. "Hehe, I assume you like it."
"No shit!" I get a few more bites in when I hear him giggle some more.
"Name's Lucas, by the way." I look back at him and smile. I mean, I obviously knew his name for a while now, but it's nice hearing it from him directly. I swallow my bite.
"Name's Ness. Thanks for the meal."
"Of course. It's the least I could do, for blacking out on ya." Well, it wasn't really blacking out, was it? It was more of falling asleep.
"No worries. And for the record, you didn't blackout. You were drunk and wanted to cuddle, so I allowed it, and eventually, you fell asleep." I look back down without even a single thought of how that sounded. Cuddling with a drunk guy….yeah, sounds quite rapey to me. And we're talking about myself right now, so that's even worse.
"Oh, I-I'm sorry to have been a burden." I finish the steak and look at him with raised eyebrows. Yeah, he's not at all like his drunken counterpart. He actually feels remorse for his actions. That's more than I can say for a few people I know….stupid Link.
"It's ok. Don't worry. We all do stupid things a few times."
"A few? Heh….must've not heard my name on campus before as the campus drunk." Uh, I mean yeah, but nothing else about it really. Can't be that bad, or else he'd be kicked out of here right? Or even worse, arrested."
"Uh, no, not really," I lie.
"Well, don't worry, it's nothing I'd be arrested for." Oh, thank god. I like steak, but I feel like I'd be associated with him now because of it. Lucas looks down.
"No one likes me." Oh….way to be depressing Lucas. But, I guess I can't blame him. If not a single person liked me, I'd be upset as well.
"Is that why you're here by yourself?" He stays quiet for a bit before I….see a tear? Yeah, that's definitely a teardrop falling from his eye. He wipes it away before clearing his throat and looking up at me with a smile that's… off-putting. I can't really pinpoint why, but it feels weird. Something is wrong, Lucas. And why do I care? Cause it's called being nice. Damn morals.
"Y-yeah, you can say that." Poor guy. He doesn't seem too bad. I don't get why people would ditch him like that. Sure, he's a dick when he's drunk, but pretty much everyone is a dick when they're drunk.
"I'm sorry, you shouldn't be ditched like that…" Lucas shrugs before standing up and grabbing my plate.
"It's whatever." He walks to the sink and begins to clean the plate. Now I feel really bad for him. Everyone hates him and avoids him, is that why he drinks? No, I don't think so. I think he drinks because everyone hates him and avoids him. Should I truly dive into this? Like, it's not really my business. But at the same time, it strangely feels like it's my business. I want him to feel better. I don't want anything bad to happen to him.
"Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow?" Lucas stops dead in his tracks before looking back at me.
"What?"
"Wanna hang out? I would say now, but I need some good sleep." Lucas slowly moves the play to the dish drainer and places it in haphazardly, causing it to fall and smash on the ground, but Lucas doesn't seem to care.
"You….want to hang out….with me?" I shrug.
"I don't see why not. You seem like a cool dude." Lucas blushes which….makes him quite cute. He looks down and clears his throat.
"Th-thank you." Lucas walks closer and closer to me. He then just hugs me. He feels really good. He's warm, we're about the same height, but something about his body is just so comforting. Maybe it's because it's a hug and I never hugged anyone, but still. I hug back and…it feels even better.
Lucas pushes himself off of me and looks into my eyes, his pretty blue eyes are sparkling even more. "S-sorry, I…I don't know what came over me," he nervously says as he rubs his neck. I chuckle as I pat his shoulder. He's truly excited about this. I don't blame him, I'm pretty cool.
"No worries. Just don't be late. Meet me at Kawamama tomorrow at….let's say 7pm?" Lucas's smile grows even more and…he somehow gets better looking. Jesus, what is going on with me? I've never called anyone cute since Paula. I'm probably just lonely after so many years of being alone for Valentine's Day. Yeah, has to be that.
"Kawamama? O-ok, sounds good!" I smile at him, which seems to make his blush grow even more.
"Goodie. See ya there, Lukey." I think the nickname sounds pretty good. It rolls off the tongue pretty well. And also, I just want him to feel good. If his drinking gets worse and worse he could easily drop dead one day. I don't want that. Especially someone who's very clearly not well. Not well in both physical health but mostly his mental health. I can tell he's lying somewhat about the story he told me. Sure, we're complete strangers, so I didn't expect him to tell me what's going on right away, but I'm hoping tomorrow I can slither my way into his mind.
I pat his shoulder again before leaving the dorm and begin my walk down to my room, including the elevator ride. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Kawamama is likely to be set in a specific mood for couples, I'm hoping that'll distract him and he'll spill his guts to me so I can find some way to help. The elevator stops and I walk through the halls of the dormitory. About them lying to me….I guess I can forgive them. In the end, I did get my steak. So everything is fine in the end.
I make it to my dorm and I enter it. I see Link and Mega on the couch, making out, like usual. I roll my eyes at this and walk toward the bedroom. "Ness?" Link's voice echoes throughout the room. Shit. I didn't want to talk with them. I turn around and look at them.
"Hey."
"Where were you? You were gone for a while."
"With Lucas."
"Lucas? What were you even doing for so long?" Mega asks. I cross my arms.
"Well, he didn't lie about giving me steak, so I got to eat steak!"
"He made you food?" Lucas asks. I nod my head. And god it was so good. Looking back on it, I think it was one of the best steaks I've ever tasted before. I wonder what other foods he can make.
"Yeah, and it was so good! It was so juicy, it was cooked perfectly…" Oh man, everything about that was perfect, it really was. "It was cute…. its eyes were this pretty blue that sparkled when it looked at me….wow." Huh…I don't remember the steak having eyes. Did I actually just eat a full cow?
"Are you talking about the steak? Or the boy?" Lucas asks as he smirks.
"WHAT! NO! Never! How idiotic of you to assume I'd….I'd….shut up!" No way I was talking about Lucas. There is just absolutely no way. Impossible. I was talking about literally anyone else who has a pretty face….sounds lovely….and pretty blue eyes. Absolutely not Lucas. Link walks over to me and smiles.
"You do know how fast a crush forms, don't you?"
"Pfft, not this fast."
"You'd be surprised. All it takes is one thing that the other person does that can make a crush form." Really? Is that how crushes work? It can form in a snap? No way, right? Link is just fucking with me.
"Sh-shut up! I-I'm going to bed." I rush into the bedroom and to my bed. No way I have a crush on him. Absolutely not. He may be cute and may have the most amazing eyes I've ever seen, but a guy can complement other guys without having a crush on them. Yeah, that was it. I was just complimenting someone who really needed to be complimented. That's all.
Kawamama's. It's a nice place. It's a small diner that often has some events depending on the holiday. Huh….maybe I shouldn't have invited him to come here on Valentine's Day….well, whatever. I'm leaning against the wall outside the diner, waiting for him. "Hmm, where is he?" I needed to doll myself up. Not because I see this as anymore than just a hangout, but because….I just wanted to. Combed my hair, styled it to the best of my ability. It's not styled very much, just enough to not look like an utter mess.
I look around and…there he is. He's walking from the side, fidgeting with his hand. He looks at me and we share a stare for a bit as he walks closer and closer. He seems somewhat dolled up as well. His hair isn't even styled in that ice cream style, he seems to have let it down. It looks good down. I smile softly as I see it. He stops right in front of me.
"Y-you didn't ditch me?"
"Unless I'm so good at lying, I'm lying to myself, no." Lucas chuckles a bit as he moves some hair out of his eyes. "I like what you did with your hair." Lucas smiles softly before directing his eyes downward.
"Th-thank you." Heh, he's so shy for no reason. Well, I guess he does have a reason. I doubt he's hung out with anyone as of late. I walk to the doors of Kawamama and hold them open.
"After you." Lucas looks up at me and shows me that sweet smile of his. Damn, this really feels like a date. But…it's not a date of course. Lucas walks over and through the door. I follow after him and we look around at the place. Just as I probably should've expected, it's decked out in Valentine's decorations. The big bright pink hearts that are attached to the walls and are all over the employee's uniforms are sickening. Like, I love pink, it's an awesome color, but there can always be too much of something, and this….this is too much pink.
Lucas and I walk over to the counter and see Bandana Dee. There are a lot of Dees in his family, so we give each a very simple nickname based on characteristics like Bandana Dee wears, and you'll never get this….a bandana. I know, very surprising. "Hey, Bandi!" Bandi, the nickname I've given to him cause I come here often and lord knows I don't wanna say that long ass name constantly.
"Ness, been a while. Too scared of Valentine's?" Bandi says. I roll my eyes when I notice Bandi looking at Lucas. "Huh. No wonder you came here." Oh goddammit, I really should've thought of this beforehand. It's Valentine's Day, and I'm out for dinner with a boy my age, alone, who wouldn't think this is a date.
"Bandi, come on, you know me."
"Yeah, I do." Bandi jumps on the counter and holds out his hand toward Lucas.
"Treat him well, boy. He's a good kid, if not, a little annoying."
"HEY!" Asshole. Really just gonna call me annoying when I'M RIGHT HERE!"
"Wh-what-?" Lucas's confusion is very clearly immeasurable. He looks over at me with pleading eyes. God, he's so adorable…..because he's so nervous. I clear my throat.
"Bandi, can we just get a table already," I remind him of what we're here to do. We've already come into the place, no point in leaving now. We'll just need to deal with this.
"Fine fine fine, jeez, party pooper," Bandi says as he jumps from the counter and rummages through whatever is underneath the countertop for a strangely long amount of time before coming back up with some menus. He tosses them my way. "I'm sure you can walk over to your table." Wow, what an amazing employee.
"Come on, Luke." Lucas just nods his head as he follows me. I lead him through the somewhat busy diner. It's definitely busier than I'm used to seeing. He's kinda like a dog in the best possible way. Very obedient and very cute. We make it over to a booth that is always my go-to booth. I love booths. I turn around, to look at him, and motion for the booth. "M'lady," I pleasantly say. This earns a giggle from Lucas. He bows down a bit.
"Thank you, k-kind sir." He slides into the booth as I slide into the other side of the booth. His voice is softer than when I was in his room. It's definitely because we're in public. Has to be. I look in the menu and scan it.
"So, what do you want?"
"I-I already ate." I close my menu and look at him. No way he ate before this, knowing we were going to a diner.
"How long ago?" Lucas looks up at the clock on the wall nearby. He squints his eyes and mouths some numbers. I suck at reading lips, so somehow I get "69420" so….I'll just not even try. He looks back at me.
"About 42 hours ago." He's….he's gotta be kidding, right? He has to be. No way in hell did he last eat nearly 2 days ago. Although, that could explain why he's so skinny. He's starving himself. Poor guy.
"42! Well, be ready, you're about to eat a fuck ton of food."
"What? B-but isn't that a lot of food?" He really worries too much. It's cute but unneeded. I reach forward and grab his hand. It's soft. I get distracted and look down at his hand as I rub the back of his palm a bit. His hand is warm as well as soft. It feels nice to have in my own hand. It's also a bit smaller, which for someone as bright as yours truly, I can tell easily. "Wh-what're you doing?" Oh crap! I've been holding his hand this entire time, huh? I just sort of lost track of reality. His hand feels too good. I look back at him and smile.
"Don't worry about the money. Just tell me what you want and I'll pay for it." Lucas's smile grows a bit as he begins to grow a blush.
"Y-you'd do that?"
"Of course." I then lean in and kiss his hand. "Anything for M'Lady." Lucas's blush instantly erupts as I realize what I just did. I just…what the hell is wrong with me. WHY WOULD I DO THAT! I-I just got caught up in the moment, th-that's all. Nothing more, nothing less. "O-oh god, Lucas, I-I'm so sorry."
"NO! I-IT'S OK!" He opens the menu and forces his face behind it and out of my view. Wow, good job Ness. You're here to make him more comfortable, not to kiss his damn hand! What the hell are you thinking you idiot! I…I just, I dunno, it just happened. Well, fuck you, subconisous! Hey, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here. Maybe that's a good thing! I hate my subconscious and my conscience. "I-I want that." Lucas puts the menu down and points at the omelets.
"Really? That for dinner."
"I-is it a bad choice? I-I can change m-my mind."
"No no no, it's ok." Lucas looks down at the menu and smiles.
"They r-remind me of my childhood. Back when things…..were simple."
"Yeah, that's why I love Steak." Lucas looks up at me, and his eyes show interest. He wants to know more. "Ever since I was a kid I loved steak. Something about a nice juicy piece of meat in my mouth is just mouth-watering." Lucas snickers a bit. "What?" His snicker grows a bit more as he covers his mouth to try and contain it, I assume. "What did I say?"
"Heh…y-you like m-meat in your mouth, huh?" Lucas starts to giggle when I finally understand why.
"Oh come on! You know what I mean, dirty bitch!" Lucas's giggling grows more to a nice cute high-pitched laughter. Hearing it feels nice. It feels like it's the first time he's laughed like this. It feels like I just took a first time from him. Why am I so…happy? Am I happy cause he's laughing? Cause he's letting his guard down enough to barrel laughter? I don't know, but all I know, and all I care about, is that I'm happy and it seems Lucas is as well.
Lucas finally begins to calm down and I can see tears in his eyes from his constant laughter. "Jeez, h-haven't laughed like that in a while," he says as a few more snickers leave his mouth.
"You're so immature, you know that?"
"Yeah, I know." I stare into his eyes, which are now watery because of his tears. The laugh really got to him, huh? I kinda like it. It's very sweet. It was also just a very cute laugh. Soon enough, Bandi walks over with a notepad.
"Your orders?"
"Your finest steak with fries, please." Bandi looks down at the notepad and begins writing down what I order. He then looks over to Lucas.
"And for you?" Lucas gulps a bit as he looks back at the menu, his mouth opening up a bit, but he's still strangely nervous. I reach over and grab his hand. He looks back at me.
"It's ok. He's not going to hurt you." Lucas audibly gulps before nodding his head. He looks back at Bandi.
"Uh, th-the omelets please." Bandi nods his head as he writes down what Lucas says. I rub his hand a bit. He's really that nervous, huh. I guess drinking sort of allows him to communicate with other people without having too much to do himself. Holding his hand seems to help, so that's good at least.
"Ok, anything to drink?"
"Just water for me." Bandi looks at Lucas.
"Uh, t-the same."
"Ok, nice and simple. It'll be here shortly," Bandi says as he walks off to go give the cooks the order. I look back at him and smile.
"See, that wasn't so tough."
"Y-yeah, guess so." I let go of his hand and lean back in my chair.
"Why are you worried about strangers anyway?" Lucas retracts the hand I grabbed and starts rubbing it, somewhat aggressively. I think it could even form marks if he keeps doing it.
"We all have o-our reasons for things." I tilt my head. He really wants to keep this a secret. I'm sure I would as well, but I do wanna help him. The first task on my to-do list in order to help him is to know what I'm helping with. How am I going to learn it? Well, that's the hard part. I nod a bit as Bandi soon walks over with the drinks. The drinks are always so much faster than the rest of the food.
"Thank you, Bandi." Bandi nods his head and runs off to, hopefully, get the food ready. I look at Lucas and see him take a sip…a long sip….ok, a very very very very large drink. He drinks about half of the glass of water. "Woah." Lucas's eyes, which were closed so he could focus on the water, look up at me. He lets his mouth separate from the straw and I see a small sly smirk form on his face.
"I'm very good at swallowing."
"Oh, I bet you are." What….what am I saying! Did I just….flirt with him? No! Impossible! I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
"Maybe one day, you could see for yourself," he says with a glimmer in his eyes and a different tone in his voice, a slightly deeper and stoic voice. But it wasn't forced, it was all-natural. Lucas resumes drinking his water as I just…think about the voice change, the look on his face, everything. Shit. Maybe I do have a crush. Mother of fuck. I'm just really lovesick huh? I hope so. Cause a crush this fast to be made is….I'M NOT A FUCKING DISNEY PRINCESS! If anything, I'm a Disney Prince. Ooo, like Eric! I love Eric, he's hot. Definitely a top Disney Husbando. "Wh-what're you doing?"
"Thinking of Eric's pecs…" I say unconsciously, not even thinking. I hear Lucas giggle a bit, which is able to knock me from the trance a bit. I feel a blush grow on my cheeks.
"Eric?"
"F-from Little Mermaid." Hopefully, that fixes everything.
"Oh, so you're thinking of a fictional guy's pectoral muscles?" Oh god damn it, he did that on purpose. The smile on his face is apparent.
"Y-you ass! Y-you're making it sound worse than it is." Lucas rolls his eyes before leaning back.
"You're weirder than I thought." I'm weird? I'm the weird one? Does he even know who's currently saying that? He's the weird one. A big-ass drinker, wanting to cuddle with a stranger. But what's weirder, the fact he wanted to cuddle, or the fact I enjoyed it? I didn't enjoy the cuddle. Yes, yes you did. Hmm….
"Yeah well, there's no way you've never seen a fictional guy as the peak of male appearances.
"Of course I have." He leans forward and grows this dreamy look in his eyes. "His name is Sephiroth…"
"Sephiroth? He's a real person."
"What?" Lucas looks at me with utter shock. He really thought the famous model Sephiroth was a fake person.
"Yeah, he's a famous model." Lucas looks down at the table as he probably needs to drain in what I said.
"That's his real penis! Jeez…."
"Excuse me?" Lucas looks back at me and nervously chuckles before sitting back. His chuckling is cute. Very cute. He also seems to be holding his own a bit more than he was earlier.
"I like your chuckle." Lucas covers his mouth with a muffled sorry. Heh, I hope I didn't send him back to how he was before. I like that part of him, but I like this side more. Man, just hear me, this is definitely a crush. How did it form so fast? Ugh, dammit. On Valentine's of all days. "I think it's cute." Lucas's eyes lower as his hands do the same. He reveals a huge blush as well as a wide happy smile.
"Th-thank you." Ok…I think it's time to ask him. I reach out my open palm. He looks at it and nervously looks back at me.
"Come on," I say in a gentle tone, which seems to work with him. He puts his hand in mine.
"Lucas, I want to ask something."
"Uh, yeah?"
"You see…" Here goes nothing. I really hope he doesn't hate me for this….oh crap. That's totally a possibility huh? He could totally just turn on me and slap the shit out of me before running off. Maybe I shouldn't ask him. I don't think I'll be able to handle it, especially not after my realization about…him. Oh, so finally accepting the crush fully? Shut up. "Uhm…n-nevermind, s-sorry." Lucas tilts his head before gripping my hand tighter than I would've expected to come out of him.
"Come on, you can talk to me." That damn face. He's so caring yet…no one has cared enough to help him. I need to be that person.
"Uh, well, w-when I took you home I saw a photo on your nightstand. It…it looked like a brother, a dog, and parents." I hear Lucas gulp, which tells me that something is wrong with them. Something…really wrong. Lucas looks down as the grip on my hand tightens even more. It gets to the point where it starts to hurt. I need to hold firm though, if he finds out he's hurting me, it could make him feel worse.
"Y-yeah…that's….that's my family."
"Is something wrong?" Lucas looks up at me and I begin to see tears forming in his eyes. He looks hesitant about telling me. I need to show him that I'm there for him. I need to show him he can trust me. I stand up, without breaking the hand holding, and sit next to him. Despite how awkward and uncomfortable I am with the hand holding now being in a weird position, I need to be here for him. I need to work through it. I wrap my right arm around him and bring him closer, cuddling him. "It's ok, you can tell me, only if you want." Hopefully, this is enough. I'm not very good with stuff like this, there was probably a better way to do things. I feel Lucas's head lie on my shoulder and there it is…the first drop of a tear.
"Thank you…."
"Of course, Luke." I look down at him and he's just staring forward, tears falling down his face, his mind likely thinking a lot. I don't say a word. He needs his time. Heh, who would've thought I'd be the one to cuddle the drunk guy who cuddled me earlier. Life can surely move fast huh? Or rather, life is impossible to predict. Anything can happen on any day. Way to be inspirational Conscience. It, at least, was an attempt.
"I...I used to share a dorm with m-my brother….C-Claus." I look back down at Lucas. It seems what I did was enough. He's ready to tell me. I…I did it! "We….we had different c-classes so h-he ended up on spring break b-before me. He went h-home to talk to s-some friends we have back home. W-when he was c-coming back….he got into an accident. B…but it wasn't just h-him. M-my parents were with him." Oh boy, I don't like where this is going. "They were taken t-to the hospital. But….they didn't make it." Oh…. Lucas grabs at some of my shirt and dives his face into my shoulder and starts to full-on cry. "Th…they didn't….they didn't make it…" Lucas…so that's why you drank. You didn't want to feel the pain. You wouldn't need to worry about sleeping in the same room you once shared with your brother when you're blackout drunk and can't remember shit. And everyone proceeded to make fun of you, call you names, antagonize you, instead of doing what you needed. Help.
I let go of his hand and wrap both of my arms around him. "It's ok, Lucas. I'm here for you." Lucas wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly. My heart, I can feel it. It's beating like crazy. Is it because I'm doing something so selfless? Or because I'm hugging someone I have a crush on? I don't know. But either way, I like this. It feels nice. To be there for someone when they need it, to be there for them to drain their guts and to not leave them. It feels right. Like nothing in the world exists.
After some time, Lucas breaks out of our hug. "Thank you." I smile back at him.
"Of course. Anytime."
"Sh-should you head to the other side." I guess I can. Lucas seems somewhat better now. At least that's what I'm hoping. I leave and sit on the other side and smile.
"How ya feeling?"
"Better…thanks." Right on time, Bandi walks over with a tray of some food. He stops at the table and puts the tray down before giving the both of us our food.
"Enjoy!" He runs off with the tray, a bit too fast if I say so myself. It's as if he's got something planned. I look at Lucas and see his eyes sparkling as he's looking at his omelet.
"Like eggs that much?"
"My mom…she used to make these for me." Ahh, so they hold a type of sentimental value. Lucas grabs a fork and begins to eat. It's nice to see him eating. He must've been starving himself. I bet food was reminding him of his family. After seeing that Lucas is, indeed, eating, I begin eating my food. I know exactly how good it tastes, it's the only thing I get from Kawamama. It's just soooo gooooood. Like honestly. But after tasting Lucas's….I may have a new favorite. "Oh man…it's so good."
"I know right. And it's very cheap."
"O-oh crud. I-I forgot about money."
"Huh? No worries. I'll happily pay for us."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course. It's truly no big deal, Luke." Lucas smiles even softer than usual. I can tell he appreciates it. I can tell he appreciates everything. I think…no, I know I did a good job. I know I actually did something good with my life. As we continue to eat, we talk more and more about random stuff. Lucas is opening up. He sort of has to after talking about the loss of his family. That's when I remembered…he had a dog. "Hey, Luke, you had a dog, right? Is he ok?"
"Huh?" Lucas looks up from his now empty plate. He ended up getting 2 more refills of the plate, which yes, is a thing Kawamama does.
"Like, your dog. Is he ok? Or is he also….you know."
"Oh, no, don't worry. Boney is alive and….well, maybe well is not the right word, but he's alive. He's being looked after by a friend named Fuel. Boney likes him a lot."
"Oh, goodie." No one likes dead dogs, and I'm the same. I have a cute dog named King back home in Onett. I can't imagine losing him. "I'd like him to meet my dog sometime soon."
"You have a dog?"
"Heh, yeah."
"Well, I'd love for them to meet. Boney has always been a lonely boy, no other dog in the village, so he'd love to see another dog." Lucas finishes his cup of water when suddenly the lights in the diner dim to a pinkish color, and a slow song starts playing. No lyrics, no drums, no anything. Just a calm, slow piano. It's like a nice walk on the beach at sunset. Even the angriest bull could be calmed in this mood. A sweet-looking man walks over to the side of the diner with a microphone. He starts to sing a song called Love Like You. It's a very sweet song that goes well with the slow-moving music. I smile softly before looking back at Lucas. He's got his eyes closed and bobbing his head ever so slightly to the music.
"Lucas…" Lucas opens his eyes. I hold my open palm toward him. "Shall we go dance?"
"You want to dance? W-with me?"
"Of course. This….is a date isn't it?" A date? Yes. This is exactly what it is. It was a date the whole time. I hope he sees it that way as well.
"A-a date! I-I didn't get to wear p-proper clothes!"
"Hehe, don't worry, Luke."
"B-but if I knew it was g-gonna be a date, I would've worn something m-much better! I wanna impress you!" This guy….he's very difficult sometimes. He wants everything to be so perfect, even after all the shit that happened to him. He needs to learn to take these moments in stride. Cause right now, I see him, and he's amazing. I stand up and walk to his side. I grab his hand and look into his sparkling bright blue eyes.
"You already impressed me."
"I…I have?" I nod my head and Lucas's blush seems to lessen, but it doesn't take away the look in his eyes. The amazing look. He stands up and allows me to take him out of the booth. "I don't know how to dance."
"Neither do I." You know, I didn't really plan for this to happen. I can't dance to save my life. I think even a 100-year-old man with his staff up his ass would be able to dance better than me. I've just got to think back on the shows I've seen with a prom dance scene. Kawamama has an open spot in the diner specifically for a nice Valentine's Dance Floor dance. Lucas and I get there and find we're the only ones on the dance floor. This is a bit awkward. I turn around to see how nervous he is. "It's ok."
"B-but…"
"You're afraid Lucas. I get it." I place his hands around my neck. "You're afraid to open yourself up. You're afraid to make friends. You're afraid to lose them." I put my hands on his hips. I'm pretty sure this is the right positioning. God, I hope it is. I don't want to end up on TikTok for being dominated by Lucas. No offense, but I won't let myself even be dominated by Simu Liu…..ok, that may be a lie, but shut up. "You lost so much, so quickly. No one was there to help you." I start to move, and Lucas follows. His eyes continue staring at me. He's listening. Listening very intently. "I want to be that person. I want to be the person to help you. Someone you can rely on." We continue slow dancing. Is it really dancing if we just sort of walk around in circles? I dunno, that's all it seems like on the shows. "So please, Luke….let me be that person for you. Let me be here for you." Some tears start to form in his eyes, and hopefully, that's a good sign. Hopefully, he knows how genuine I am. Sure, I may have shown it earlier to him when he first opened up to me, but here we are, eyes all over us, the center of attention, and I talk to him the same way. I want him to know that if he chooses to put his trust in me, if he chooses to let me in, no matter what, I'll be the same. That I'll always be here for him.
Lucas places his head onto my chest, wrapping his arms around my body as we just continue slow dancing. His cries are soft. I'm not sure if the tears are from sadness or happiness, but I know one thing for sure, he trusts me. Is it quick? Sure, one can say that. I only knew Lucas, and he only knew me, for basically 2 days. And now we're slow dancing in a diner, with him crying on me about the shitty shit that happened to him and his family. Some may say it's too fast. But it strangely feels natural for me. And I'm sure it's the same with him. "Yes…I'll let you in, Ness." There it is, the words I want. I move my hands to hug him. This feels nicer than the last time.
We stay like this for a while as couples come over to join us on the dance floor. After sufficient time, Lucas breaks the hug up and looks up into my eyes. "Ness…I-I have a question."
"What is it?"
"Will you be my Valentine?" I'm surprised he's even opting to ask me this.
"Of course." Lucas grabs my hands and hugs me again.
"G-good. Can you take me back to my dorm…I'm sleepy."
"Anything for my Valentine." I hear Lucas giggle as I walk away from the dance floor and out of the diner.
"How much was the food?"
"Uhh….shit, forgot to pay."
"Just keep going."
"Ooo, we have a little criminal~."
"Oh no, that waiter is chasing us, looking quite….upset." I turn around and see Bandi running my way.
"GIVE ME MY FUCKING TIP YOU ASSHOLE!"
"Whoopsy!" I toss some money out and run. I don't want to be caught on the other end of that spear of his. Once we're safe, I look up at the night sky. It's a beautiful dark sky with sprinkles of white all around it. I ended up having a Valentine's anyway. Lucas buries his head into my neck as I resume walking through the streets of Ultimatum. I make it to his dorm and put him to his feet. He smiles happily at me.
"Thank you…m-my Valentine."
"Anytime." He hugs me once more before running into the dorm. He closes the door and I proceed to hear a loud squeal from it. Hehe, such a cutie.
? POV
Ahh, what a love story. A boy falling in love. I love to see it. But I'm getting bored of this reality. I need him to change it. But how? Heh, why am I even asking. Of course, I know how. It's all so very simple. I appear right behind Ness, so when he turns toward me, he jumps back, only for me to slap him so hard he hits the wall, drawing some blood and falling to the ground. "Gross….I hate blood. I'm sorry Ness. But I need this. A new reality is bound. Earthbound. Heh, sorry, couldn't resist. See you on the other side, my lovelies. We have a whole new world to show off.~