Let's wrap up this arc, shall we? Really tried to get it posted before the new year but life got in the way. Start the fic.
4
3
2
A thick fog is what greeted the trio as they walked into the new dungeon.
"So what? The Reaper is just repeating himself now?" asked Pacifica.
"We haven't dealt with fog yet…. I think. My memory might be screwy in my old age."
"Well, I think that-AAAAAGH!"
It was with a loud scream that Dipper suddenly disappeared quite completely.
"DIPPER!"
"…I'm okay. I think I fell down another grave."
Pacifica lovingly rolled her eyes and slithered her way to where Dipper's voice was coming from. She dropped her tail into the grave.
"Grab hold, Darling. I'll pull you up."
In half a second Dipper was out of the hole but as soon as he was on solid ground Pacifica coiled herself around him again.
"ACK! Pacifica, what do you think you're…"
"…The fog is cold and I'm cold blooded now, so I need to stay warm!"
"But you're not scarf sized anymore! I can't just carry you anymore, you're too…"
Pacifica uncoiled herself just enough to look Dipper in his face. It was clear that he needed to pick his next words carefully. Calling her 'too big' or 'too heavy' could be considered the same thing as calling her 'fat'.
"…..Long."
She lowered her eyelids halfway at him.
"Long?"
"Your tail is literally wrapped around my leg. Do you have any idea how difficult that's going to make walking?"
"Dipper," Pacifica looked at him as if he had told her that couldn't have anymore of her favorite snack because they were out. "I'm. Cold."
Ten Seconds Later…
"Dipper, come on! Don't dawdle!" cried Ford.
"I'm coming!" Dipper called back.
Dipper did his best to follow but it wasn't easy with Pacifica coiled around him, especially his leg. Dipper could not bend the leg Pacifica had her tail wrapped around so he had to move to forward as if it were stretched out.
"Good thing we aint got a time limit…"
"Oh shush! You love it!"
Took a while but the Mystery Couple eventually caught up to Ford.
"Dipper, tell me... What do you see when I point up there?" asked Ford.
Dipper followed his gaze in the direction of Ford's figure and saw a hill. It was pretty steep but still just a hill none the less. The top poked out above the fog which was why he could see someone standing on the peak of it.
"That's the Grim Reaper!" Dipper frowned. "On top of a vastly unfair steep hill."
"Good! I'm seeing the same thing! Looks like we're almost done. Let's go!"
Ford hovered up the hill thanks to his wheelchair suit but Dipper had to talk to his girlfriend first.
"Okay Pacifica, you HAVE to get off now."
"What? But Dipper..."
"I can barely walk like this, let alone up a hill! We're almost done anyways. Off!"
Pacifica uncoiled herself just enough to look Dipper in the face. She stuck out her lower lip in a pout.
"Spoilsport."
Pacifica unwrapped herself from Dipper and started to slither up the hill. Dipper however, needed a moment to get stretch out his leg and get the blood flowing again.
"When people say that relationships are a lot of work, I don't think this is what they're talking about."
Dipper was predictably the last to reach the top, the others obviously waiting for him to catch up before moving on.
"Reaper," Ford started. "I want to thank you. At first I thought that this was just a game for the souls of myself and great nephew and his girlfriend..."
The Grim Reaper silently stood but made no effort to stop Ford's speech.
"But I have grown and learned so much from this game. I have been humbled and faced fears that I didn't think could ever be conquered. I grasped a whole new appreciation for my life and learned to cherish my loved ones more dearly."
Dipper and Pacifica exchanged a silent look.
"Throughout the whole thing though, I was able to find subtle hints about your own lesson you wanted me to learn. Life is short because that's the way it's supposed to be! A short life with no regrets is vastly superior to a long miserable one. Death can literally come for us at any given moment, so don't leave anything hanging in the air waiting to be solved! I have come to terms with everything in my past and if this really IS my time then so be it! That being said..."
Ford grinned confidently and took out his dice.
"I'm not quite ready to give it up without a fight! If you really want my life then you're going to have to take from me by force! We've managed to beat everything else you've thrown at us so it's time for you to hit us with your last best shot!"
The Grim Reaper held out his boney hand and his scythe materialized into it.
Pacifica slithered forward. "The skeleton himself is our final challenge huh? Alright, fine. I roll to hit him with our RV." Pacifica rolled her dice and landed a twenty.
Before Dipper could have a chance to process Pacifica's roll, their RV materialized out of thin air and smacked directly into the Grin Reaper.
"Pacifica!"
"What? The game has gone on long enough, I want to go home, and that's my best move! Why shouldn't I hit the embodiment of death with the vehicle we live in?!"
Dipper didn't say anything, he just facepalmed.
"I don't think this something we can speed run." announced Ford. "Look!"
The RV disappeared and the Grim Reaper stood up like a vampire with its coffin. A green reflective shimmer shined in the blade of his scythe.
The shimmer danced for a moment before taking on a shape, a shape that looked like the number twenty-four.
A coffin levitated out of one of the graves and then hurled itself towards Pacifica.
"GET DOWN!" Dipper threw himself at Pacifica and tackled her out of the way.
On top of her body on the ground, Dipper didn't even think about their compromising position. He was too mad.
"RV or no, that was uncalled for! Let's see how he likes this! I roll for coffin reversal throw!"
Dipper rolled his dice and landed a twenty-five. The same coffin that almost hit them rose up again and hurled itself back at the Grim Reaper, only this time the door was open.
The coffin not only collided with the Grim Reaper but thanks to the hanging door it also trapped him inside. Unlike when the Grim Reaper had used it against Pacifica, the coffin also ended up soaring over the hill and into the fog bank at the bottom.
Pacifica, meanwhile, stared up at Dipper's face with a smile on her face. A smile which she felt like was being shared with the snakes that made up her hair.
Dipper on the other hand was still looking in the direction the coffin soared.
"I bet he felt that one, skeleton or not! Sorry, I know we've been playing for our lives here but there was something about his attack against you that just... I don't know, pissed me off!"
He finally looked down at her and saw the face she was giving him.
"I'm not really complaining about the end results." she flirted.
Dipper blushed. "Oh! Um..."
Before Dipper could say anything else, he heard Ford shout a war cry and hover after the Grim Reaper.
"Right! Fighting for our lives! Don't worry, my head's back in the game!"
He got up off Pacifica but her feelings about it were well put by her snakes hissing angrily.
Down in the fog, they found Ford in the fog opposite the Grim Reaper. A pile of broken wood lay crumbled behind the hooded figure.
"What did we miss?" asked Dipper.
"... An embarrassing roll if I'm being honest. I tried to summon rats to attack whatever it is keeping his bones attached together but I rolled a three. I got one rat, and it was swiftly delt it... So anyways, I just started blasting."
"And?" Pacifica asked.
"Didn't do much. He's quick to deflect with that scythe!"
"Speaking of..." Dipper pointed at the Grim Reaper.
His scythe was doing the same green shimmer as before.
"He's rolling again!" Pacifica crossed her arms. "I don't care if it's three against one, I say he's getting too many turns!"
"We probably could have set up a better guideline for this finale if you hadn't just rolled to hit him with a vehicle from out of the blue!" shot Ford.
"Oh..." Pacifica sunk her head in between her shoulders in embarrassment. "Oops?"
The green shimmer finally settled in a shape that looked like the number thirty-eight.
Instantly all the fog had disappeared; every single grave was exposed. A bone chilling silence surrounded their entire beings.
Then from each of the graves, geysers of skulls and bones shot up out of them into the air.
They all swarmed around the Grim Reaper to the point where the hooded figure couldn't even be seen anymore.
All the bones converged making a giant skeleton figure that towered over them. Each body part was made up of a collective bone of that body part, ribs converged to make a giant rib cage, skulls gathered to form one giant skull, ect.
"... Why isn't it attacking?" asked Pacifica.
"Whatever he's done, it must need some kind of cool down before attacking." Ford theorized. "We need to take advantage of this while we can and come up with a strategy! Otherwise, we're done for!"
"I think our only option is another triple summon! We're probably going to need something better than a giant lizard though!"
"But he had a thirty-eight! The highest roll! The best we could hope for would be to match him with a roll of our own and even then it would just be a stalemate!"
"But what if... " Dipper smiled as an idea hit him. "What if instead of triple summoning a mish mash of our collective choices, we all chose the same thing?"
"Then the size differentials would be dependent on our rolls. It would still be one creature but say if I got a twenty and Pacifica got a three then it would have a normal sized head but tiny legs." answered Ford.
"A lot of our rolls haven't been that high, in the very least we haven't touched the thirties that often. I'd say we're due for a high triple roll!" noted Pacifica.
"... There's still no guarantee that we'll come out on top." Ford warned.
"Then let's think!" Dipper pointed his fingers at his head. "If we really are going to go out swinging, then what exactly do we want to swing with? What's an accurate representation of the best things we had in life? That's what this game has been about, right? Life vs death. So what would represent all three of our lives as a whole?"
All three of them exchanged a look and there was no doubt, they all had the same roll in mind.
They tossed their dice and impossible happened.
They all rolled perfect thirty-eights.
The dice glowed hot pink before shooting up into triple spiral beams of light. The beams spun and twisted themselves together until they were woven together into a giant beam of light.
When the light dissipated their dice were replaced with a very familiar giant robot. The three of them were already inside it but Dipper ran to a window just so he could take a look at himself. Just to be sure.
His hopes had come to life.
"IT'S THE RETURN OF THE SHACKTROOOOOOOOOOOOON!"
Pacifica joined him and noticed that they were a lot farther from the ground compared to the last time the Shacktron was used. No doubt this one was a lot bigger.
"Extra-large edition!" added Pacifica.
It was indeed the Shacktron, but it was a lot bigger. About the size of Bill's old pyramid.
Everything about this new Shacktron (save for the size) looked to be an almost exact duplicate except for the controls. There were three stations, two right next to each other and one slightly larger one with a command chair behind them.
"If this means what I think it means..." started Ford. "Then this should be even better than the original Shacktron! Since it's a composite collection of all three of us then it should have upgrades and weapons we wished the original Shacktron had!"
"We'll take the two upfront!" declared Dipper. "Ford, since this is your life we're playing for its only right that you get the big chair!"
"Right..." Ford chuckled uneasily as he hovered over to it. "I'll just... Get out of the suit and... Just... Just give me a minute, I know I can figure out how to do that."
Ironically Ford couldn't sit with the suit on, so he had to figure out if Dipper told him how to switch it back to a wheelchair. If he had then Ford couldn't currently remember it.
Dipper had faith his elderly family member could figure it out, but as he sat in his own chair he saw through the window their enemy's new body.
They were about the same height. Ideally it would be better that they were bigger so they could have an easier win. The same size however suggested a stalemate.
Dipper's smile got a little smaller.
Then he felt Pacifica holding his hand.
"We'll be okay." she reassured with a gentle squeeze.
"And if we're not?"
"Then at least we'll go out knowing that we loved each other. Some people go their whole lives looking for that special someone and never finding them. Dipper, I am so glad to have your love in my life. Turns out, you losing my fortune was the best thing that could've happened in my life, because now I'm spending that life with you."
Dipper stared immensely into the face of the snake version of his girlfriend.
'Just when I think that I can't love her any more than I already do, she pulls out something like this.' thought Dipper.
"Wow, Pacifica! I don't know what to..."
"I FIGURED IT OUT!"announced Ford.
No sooner after Ford's shout did the Grin Reaper's new body started to twitch to life. Green fireballs ignited in each of its eye sockets. It reeled its composite fist back and threw a haymaker at the newly summoned Shacktron.
One blow and the giant mech toppled over backwards landing on its backside.
"I'm okay!" announced Ford.
Dipper didn't share Ford's enthusiasm however. He shot the giant skeleton a dirty look.
"So that's how he wants to play this, huh? Well let's see how he likes THIS!"
Dipper flipped a switch and the Shacktron's totem pole cannon wheeled itself in the Grim Reaper's direction. Dipper pressed a nearby red button three times and...
*BLAM!* *BLAM!* *BLAM!*
Three cannon blasts sent the monster tumbling backwards.
"That was good but we need to get on feet NOW!" ordered Ford.
"Let me try something!" Pacifica started pressing some buttons and the robotic Gobblewonker shot out and bit into the skeleton monster's knee. Using that as leverage, the Shacktron was able to pull itself up to it's feet.
It still cost them though. The Grim Reaper reached out and grabbed the robotic Gobblewonker by the neck. A former grip and a quick yank the machine was pulled off from the rest of the main body.
"Oh you're not going to get the rest of us THAT easily!" Ford pulled a hanging lever and the Shacktron's attic window started to glow brighter until it shot out a yellow laser beam.
*BTZZZZZZ!*
The Grim Reaper stumbled back until the laser died down. Then it raised it's hand, pointing the composite fingers at them. The finger bones themselves shot out of the hand as quickly as bullets, rapidly pelting the Shacktron with bones.
Dipper, Pacifica, and Ford collectively screamed from the attack. It was like their mech was being shot at with a giant machine gun.
Pacifica managed to flip a couple of switches and grabbed a control stick.
"You'll have to do better than THAT, Bonehead!"
The car feet of the Shacktron came to life. The wheels spinning furiously in reverse, pulling them away from the attack. The machine gained some distance away like it was wearing a giant pair of roller skates.
The Grim Reaper took only a moment to cock its composite head to the side in confusion, then it was right back on with its regular attack.
Pacifica had the Shacktron skate away, avoiding the oncoming assault. The Shacktron circled its enemy with its superior speed but it obviously wasn't going to last forever.
"Dipper, get ready with that right hook!" ordered Pacifica.
The Shacktron reeled back it's giant T-Rex as they spun to a stop behind the Grim Reaper.
"ONE RIGHT HOOK, COMING UP!"
They were about to charge forward when all of the bones that made up the Grim Reaper's composite body suddenly turned around facing them. In almost no time at all he had turned around without actually turning around!
"We can't sneak up on this guy!" exclaimed Dipper.
"It's fine, Dipper! Proceed with the attack!" ordered Ford.
The wheels of the cars screeched to life and the Shacktron charged forward. Dipper slammed on a button to throw the punch forward.
The giant T-Rex opened its mouth and chomped down on the Grim Reaper's composite shoulder.
However, their enemy must have weighed more than they thought because they weren't able to just deliver their quick blow and move out like they thought they would.
Instead, the Grim Reaper had held its ground and tanked the bite. This didn't stop their charge but because he remained rooted they ended up falling spinning to the ground.
They all grunted as the Shacktron landed on its back once again. Looking up, they saw a good chunk of the skeleton's shoulder was gone but more bones were piling in to makeup what was lost. Their attack had worked but not as well as they had hoped it would.
Before they could try to get up, a giant bone foot came down on their right shoulder.
"Right arms' not responding!" shouted Dipper.
Ford squinted his eyes in anger. "I see what he's doing. Well he's not going to take US apart without a FIGHT!"
Ford pulled a lever next to his chair and the question mark windmill started spinning faster and faster while glowing brighter and brighter. A laser beam shot out of it and hit the skeleton in the torso pushing it away.
It stumbled back just long enough for the Shacktron to get back on its feet.
Pacifica pressed some buttons and frowned at the readings she was getting. "Bad news, guys! We lost the motor functions for our wheels!"
"Right arm is working again but not very well!" reported Dipper.
"Then I guess we're going to have to give him the ol' Stanley Left Hook!"
Ford's suggestion put a mischievous smirk on Dipper's face.
The Grim Reaper charged and Dipper pulled down a lever.
"LEFT HOOK!"
The Shacktron's left arm swung out and hit the Grim Reaper in its composite hit. The charge had been completely stopped and for the first time in the fight the Grim Reaper had been brought to his knees.
"DON'T STOP NOW!" shouted Pacifica. "KEEP THE PRESSURE ON!"
Dipper flipped a familiar switch again and the totem pole cannon aimed down at the Grim Reaper's fallen form.
*BLAM!* *BLAM!* *CRUNCH!*
The totem pole cannon's barrage was stopped by the Grim Reaper's composite grabbing and crushing it.
Using the totem pole cannon as leverage, the Grim Reaper pulled himself back up and then yanked it out of the machine. This alone was bad enough but it was also followed by a uppercut that seriously damaged the Shacktron's torso. Then, just to pour salt in the wound he started to attack them with their own totem pole cannon as some kind of makeshift weapon.
"This is bad! We can't keep standing up to all this smashing!" exclaimed Ford.
"Okay, time for a desperation move I guess then!" Dipper declared as he slammed on some buttons.
The T-Rex arm rose up and chomped down on the arm holding their cannon. The Grim Reaper's composite jaw dropped open and a green flame ignited inside.
"WE NEED DISTANCE! NOW!" shouted Ford.
Pacifica slammed her fist on a button and the Shackton's knee rose up and hit the Grim Reaper in its elbow. Given the T-Rex bite and the blow caused by Pacifica, they moved backwards but this time the Grim Reaper's composite arm came with them.
"Nice work, Babe!" shouted Dipper.
"Did it together, Sweetie!"
Ford pointed back at their monster. "Don't start the make out session just yet, Love Birds! Look! We're not out of the woods yet!"
The green fire had only grown since their maneuver, he didn't even seem to mind his loss of an arm!
"Don't worry, Ford! I got just the thing!"
Dipper spun a wheel on his control panel and the Shacktron's left hand started to spin and a blue energy shield materialized out of it. The green stream of fire met the blue shield but petered out quickly.
"We can't keep fighting like this!" declared Dipper.
"We need a finisher!" added Pacifica.
Ford bit the bottom of his lip.
"... I might have one idea but it's risky. I'd have to sacrifice my part of the Shacktron..."
"We'd be wide open if you did that!"
"Pacifica, we can't keep this fight up forever!" argued Dipper.
*BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!*
The Grim Reaper was now just pounding his single fist against their shield.
For a moment, their mech faded in and out of existence. They needed to end this fast!
"Okay!" Pacifica winced as more pounding on their shield shook the entire robot. "Color me convinced! Do what you gotta do, Ford!"
From outside the Grim Reaper heard some weird mechanical noises (most likely Ford getting back into his wheelchair robot suit) and then the center building of the robot suddenly shrank!
The Mystery Shack torso was now back to its original building size but the arms and legs were still just as giant as ever.
He stared at them curiously for a moment, and then just when he was considering resuming his onslaught the shield disappeared.
But before he could take advantage of this new weakness, the fingers on the Shacktron's left claw shot out and pierced themselves into his composite skull. Wires traced back to the mech from the fingers.
*ZZZZAAAAAAAP!*
An electrical current ran through the fingers and their wiring into the Grim Reaper's composite skull.
"I don't know how long this taste is going to hold him! Whatever Great Uncle Ford's plan is, I hope he does it quick!" shouted Dipper.
Their luck ran out as the current died off premature and the wires hung in the air loosely.
"... Any other ideas to buy time, Sherlock?" Pacifica asked quietly.
"... No but-"
Dipper never got a chance to finish as the Grim Reaper bit into the Shacktron's right humerus.
Dipper and Pacifica screamed in terror as all of the Shacktron shook from the Grim Reaper's attack. They were quickly about to lose their T-Rex arm.
"HEY! UP HERE BONEHEAD!"
The Grim Reaper stopped his attack, giving his attention to the insulting voice that was outside~ the mech.
On the roof of the Mystery Shack was Ford, and he was holding what looked like... Muffins?
The Grim Reaper opened his composite mouth wide in roar.
"HERE'S A NEW TWIST ON AN OLD CLASSIC! LIFE MUFFINS INSTEAD OF DEATH ONES!"
Ford tossed them down towards the monster's hanging mouth. The Grim Reaper tried to close his jaw in an attempt to keep the Life Muffins out but it was too little too late. His composite jaw instead just snapped closed with them inside.
At first, nothing happened. There was nothing but silence and the wait for whatever the next inevitable event to happen. Dipper and Pacifica were holding each other without even realizing it.
Was Ford's tactic no good? Were the muffins not enough? Was the ROLL too low? Was this their end?!
Then the Grim Reaper flinched. He bent over his stomach and threw out his head in a scream as a blinding golden light started bathing him over from the inside out.
Brighter and brighter the light shined until it started to engulf the composite body. All the skulls screamed in painful terror as the light ate away at them. The entirety of the Grim Reaper's composite body was now shining with the golden light from head to toe.
In a bright flash all of the Grim Reaper's composite body disappeared, leaving behind nothing but tiny golden balls of light.
Slowly, the gravity of their lack of enemy started to settle into their minds. They had defeated the end game boss. They had won!
But before they could start to celebrate, the Shacktron disappeared out of existence causing them to plummet from the high altitude that their command center had been perched.
The trio screamed as gravity forced them to fall.
"I can't believe this is how we go out! Dipper! Pacifica! I'm sorry for dragging you both into this!"
"... I'm not!" confessed Dipper. "I mean... I'd rather Pacifica still have a chance at life..." A sentiment that earned him a tight hand squeeze from the gorgon. "But I finally got to make peace with you Great Uncle Ford! At least I patched things up with you before the end!"
"I don't regret it either!" Pacifica shouted. "Well I'd rather not die AT ALL if I'm being honest, but..." She hugged Dipper tightly. "I'm with you Pines for the long hall! If I REALLY have to die, at least I'm dying knowing that I helped the greatest family I ever met!"
Ford dived down a little bit to embrace the two detectives. "Thank you!" He hugged them tightly. "Both of you!"
The trio embraced each other in a three way hug as they awaited the inevitable fatal impact of their fall...
Only for it to never come.
Cautiously they opened their eyes and found that everything had changed. They were no longer falling to their deaths and were safely on the ground.
More than that, they were back in Ford's lab... and back to normal too!
Their transition back was so seamless they hadn't even noticed it.
They had won!
Before they could even think about celebrating, a quick tapping on the floor alerted them to the other presence in the room.
Not too far away from them was the Grim Reaper. He stood silently as if waiting for something.
"Now hold on, we won! What's he still doing here?!"
"Calm down, Dipper. He's not here to cheat us out of our victory." Ford assured.
Ford walked over to the hooded figure and smiled at him like he was an old friend.
"I have a new lease on life, yes, but don't worry. I know death comes for us all and when I do eventually see you again by natural causes I won't be putting up a fight. My time will come just as it will for everyone."
The Grim Reaper nodded silently and disappeared in a wisp of black smoke.
With the embodiment of The End finally gone from the room, everybody let out a breath and slumped forward in exhaustion.
"That had to be our riskiest case yet!" confessed Dipper.
Pacifica quickly patted the top of her head and smiled when she found no snakes waiting for her. It didn't stay long though as she realized she was still in a wheelchair and her leg was STILL broken.
'I guess it would be too much to expect him to heal my leg as well. It IS kinda in opposite direction of his usual line of work... I'll take it over having no legs, I suppose.' thought Pacifica.
"Not to throw a dead cat into the room but..." Pacifica lightly hesitated. "Does this even really count as a 'case'? I don't recall any paperwork, and this could all just be chalked up as a family visit."
"Nonsense!" Ford pulled out a draw from one of his lab tables and took out a checkbook. "I'd be thrilled to have it officially documented that my Great Nephew and his girlfriend came to save my soul in my darkest hour!"
He wrote out a check and handed it to Dipper. Dipper was so shocked by the amount he did a double take.
Dipper leaned in close to Ford's ear and whispered harshly "This much?! Are you sure, Great Uncle Ford?!"
"Yes, yes. She looks like a girl with refined tastes, so be sure you get her the ring you feel she deserves!" Ford whispered back.
They stood back to normal, and Dipper gave Ford a look of wide eyed admiration that the old man hadn't seen since the detective was twelve.
"Ford... Thank you!"
Dipper threw his arms around the old man in a bear hug.
"Aww!" Ford hugged back. "I haven't had one of these in years!"
Pacifica scratched her head in confusion. To her the love fest seemed a bit exaggerated. She ultimately just shrugged it off.
"Men. Who can figure them out?"
Eventually they broke the hug and Ford patted Dipper on the back.
"Now, it's been an emotionally taxing day and as grateful as I am I have much work to do! This whole adventure has been nothing short of enlightening! My mind is a quiver with new possibilities for my research and I must strike while the iron is hot as it were!"
"I understand." Dipper nodded.
"Well, I don't!" snapped Pacifica. "We just saved his immortal soul! At the risk of our own, might I add! The least he can do is put us up for a couple of days!"
"No!" Dipper started to nervously wheel Pacifica towards the door. "No! No! No!" He gave her a grin with a silent message in it. "Trust. Me! He's done enough already! We should get the RV ready for the flight back!"
Pacifica gave a weird look. She knew things were all patched up between the Pines generations, so it made no sense to her to be in a rush. However, Pacifica knew from her boyfriend's look that there was something else going on and she would need to trust him on it.
"... Well... Alright. I suppose as long as you two are getting along it's fine." She pointed an accusatory finger at Ford. "But YOU had better stay in touch!"
Ford happily waved goodbye as they exited the room. "Of course! I promise!"
"Bye Ford! And thanks again!"
"Again with the 'Thank Yous'? An 'I love you' I could understand but..."
"Just don't worry about it, Sweetheart!"
Omake
The RV...
Pacifica sat in her wheelchair in front of the RV door as Dipper bustled around her.
"Gotta make sure everything is strapped down! Can't have anything going flying out of the compartments during flight!" he missed.
With his back to her, Pacifica's eyes shined with opportunity.
'I am done waiting. Dipper Pines, I am going to take our relationship to the next level! We are both adults and most important of all, we are in love together! Get ready, Dipper!' thought Pacifica. 'HERE'S WHERE I MAKE YOU A MAN AND YOU MAKE ME A WOMAN!'
Pacifica LUNGED out at Dipper…. But the blonde had forgotten that her leg was broken, and all this did was make her fall face first on the floor.
*THUD!*
Dipper turned around to see Pacifica face down on the floor.
"Pacifica! What happened?!"
"I… just… Never you mind! Just.. stay there for a second!"
Pacifica tried to get up, but her foot was strapped in to her wheelchair, so what she was trying to do didn't get much farther than an awkward push up.
"Here, let me help you!"
Dipper walked over to her, unstrapped her foot, and started to pick her up.
"Dipper… Noooooooo."
"Pacifica, you sound like a pouting child! Now you like it when I carry you princess style, right?"
"Well, yes… but…" Dipper started carrying her in said princess style. "Noooooooo."
"Oh shush, you love it! Now would you like me to carry you to bed?"
"Noooo... Wait, bed? YES! Take me to bed!"
Dipper started to do exactly that; a pity he couldn't see the almost evil grin on Pacifica's face.
"And then I'll swaddle you! I know you like it better when we're swaddled together but I need to start dinner. You don't mind, right?"
Dipper placed Pacifica in the bed. She stuck her lower lip out as he started to swaddle her like promised.
"Noooooooo."
"What? You don't like this anymore?"
"Well, I do but… Noooooooo."
Dipper stopped swaddling her and looked her in the face. He stood tall with a look of certainty. "I know what you really want."
"You do?! Oh Dipper! I knew you could figure it out that I wanted…"
"Your wheelchair closer! That way you can move to the bathroom by yourself when you need to pee."
"What? Noooooooo. Dipper, I…"
"Stay here, I'll go get it!"
Dipper ran out of the RV and Pacifica hung her head in frustrated disappointment.
"These lady blue balls are going to KILL me!"
A moment later Dipper ran back carrying the wheelchair.
"I'm back! Now then, how would you like…"
"DIPPER! Listen to me!"
Dipper dropped the wheelchair and held up his hands in surrender.
"Yes Ma'am!"
Pacifica took a breath to calm herself down. "Dipper, I love you and you love me. Right? Right! Well, I believe our relationship has progressed to the point where we…"
*KNOCK!* *KNOCK!* *KNOCK!*
"GOD DAMN IT!" Pacifica shouted. "EVERY TIME! EVERY TIME, I WANT TO PROGRESS OUR RELATIONSHIP A STEP FURTHER, SOMEONE HAS TO CUT IN AND INTERRUPT! Dipper, Sweetie, get my chair."
Dipper set up Pacifica's wheelchair and she hopped in after un-swaddling herself.
"Now, like, where was I? Oh yeah! EVERY SINGLE TIME THAT I WANT THINGS TO GET MORE SERIOUS, SOMEBODY WITH SOME NONSENSE HAS TO COME CRASHING IN!"
She started to wheel herself to the door while Dipper just watched in a silent stupor. "First it was my Dad, then it was that ABOMINATION known as the Love God, so who's it going to be this time?! Who's it going to be?!"
Opening the door, Pacifica found her new interloper was Mothman of all people.
"Oh. I'm sorry. Is now a bad time? I can always come back later."
"Mothman? What're you doing here?"
The giant insect relaxed a bit. "Somehow… your cousin got a hold of me! He wanted me to tell you that you're invited to the Northwest Industries in New York for a family tour... and a talk."
"…..Well, that's a mood killer if ever there was one."
That's it for now. You'll never get a lemon out of me, that omake is probably as close as anyone is ever going to get. Hope you found it funny though. I had a lot of fun writing that omake but I must say that I think it's the longest one I've written… but not as much fun as I had writing that Shacktron fight!