Meanwhile, at the village gate...
The chirping of birds, ever-so-present a hour ago, seems weirdly absent, as if they are all hiding away from trouble. Dogs throughout the village all whimper away towards the farthest reaches of the village. Cats all around hid in tiniest places they could fit.
The villagers and passersby watched horrified as a boy—no more than eleven—stood in the center of a standoff with two thoroughly exhausted gate guards.
For an entire hour, he used nothing but words to suck away their previous spirited demeanor. His outrageous demands even made some merchants pack up and leave, afraid someone at the village offended a god, and this is the punishment.
His hair, almond-brown and back-length, swayed slightly in the breeze. His eyes were dark, sharp, and mischievous. On his back, the crest of the legendary Senju Clan gleamed proudly on his white t-shirt. He wore flip-flops and khaki-colored shorts, and held a tall wooden staff—entirely too big for his frame, and entirely too dramatic for someone arguing over paperwork.
"I told you already!" he said, exasperated, "I am Senju Itomaru! Check your records, call your boss, summon a friend—I don't care. My auntie Tsunade said everything was arranged. I was even supposed to get a welcome party. Where are the my theme song?"
One of the guards blinked. "We... don't do welcome parties."
"Well, there's your first mistake," Itomaru replied with a shrug, spinning his staff theatrically. "Also, can I carve my face into the Hokage Rock yet, or do I need a permit?"
Then, frowning, but still spinning the staff, he muses, "But I don't have a signature... should I create jutsu for that? Ink Style or Pen Style?"
The other guard nearly choked. "Wh–what? No! That's national heritage! You can't carve your face in it!"
"Ah, heritage," Itomaru nodded sagely. "Like me. Senju blood. Full circle. Things are simpler than I thought."
The guards were speechless. The passersby laughed amongst themselves.
"The only Senju alive is Lady Tsunade! How can you be a Senju, especially her nephew, when she is the last? You are too suspicious!" By the end of his speech, the exasperated guard aged another year. They've been with this brat for over an hour, and he does not seem to get tired from speaking!
Itomaru looked at them as if they are idiots, "Aunty is not the last. Here I am, as a proof to that," he then patted the guard on his arm, as he was too short to reach his shoulders, "I know its hard for weak chicken like you to understand us, great ninjas, but you should try to be smarter. Here, look," he then showed the Senju crest on the back of his t-shirt, "This is the crest of the Senju. It means I am a Senju, the big tree who shelters you weak chicken." He beamed.
The guard started twitching in anger. Passerbys watched in amusement and quiet entertainment.
Just then, the ANBU operative arrived in a flicker beside them.
The masked figure turned to Itomaru. "The Hokage will see you now."
"Finally!" Itomaru grinned. "See? Told you I was famous. Aunty even once said I can make Buddha come down from heaven! But I'd prefer to summon a Buddha, like Hashirama's True Several Thousand Hands!"
As the guards stood frozen in mild horror, the boy casually gives one of them the wooden staff, turned to the ANBU, and said cheerfully, "Lead the way, mystery ninja. Also, do we pass by a petshop? I need to buy a pet bed."
The ANBU said nothing, but the stiffened posture said everything.
The guards stood bewildered and exasperated as he watch them leave.
The guard who received the staff, cried out "Why did he give me the staff? What was it even for?!" his cry sent a flock of birds flying in panic.