I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

Bound by Blood

CH V: Where Do We Go From Here

We returned to the house in relative silence. Both of us were unsure of what to say or even what to think.

I watched her in my peripheral vision, noting how she chewed her bottom lip and wrung her skirt in her hands. Anxiety, I assumed, was only natural for someone who's just lost their virginity. But if that's the case, why didn't I feel as anxious?

Perhaps my lack of anxiety was simply due to the relief that I no longer had to bear the shame of my own virginity. I considered it somewhat strange that being a virgin was preferable for a young lady, but for a man it was plain pitiful.

When we made it back to the house, Claudia only regarded me with a nod and started up the stairs.

"Claudia, wait," I lunged forward, grabbing her arm.

She looked at me for only a split second before averting her gaze. "What?"

"Are you alright?"

She didn't respond immediately, perhaps choosing her words carefully.

"I just feel…"She shrugged. "Strange."

"Well, that's understandable. We just did something life changing."

"Don't you feel it too?" She met my gaze again.

"I feel relieved." I slid my hand down her arm to lace my fingers with hers. "Like a weight has been lifted from my chest."

"Lifted from yours and placed on mine."

"It doesn't have to be like that." I tugged her closer to me. "You trusted me with your body, a prize that I'll surely cherish. Now please, trust me with your burden."

Her throat tightened as she gulped. "I wanted you

so badly that I didn't think of the possible consequences. What if we were seen? What if my uncle finds out? What if -"

"Shh…" I held her close to me. "I swear, whatever happens, I'll be beside you."

Her tense muscles relaxed and she returned my embrace. "I trust you."

I lifted her chin to look into those glistening blue eyes. I stroked her cheek and kissed her. The kiss wasn't deep, a brief pressing of lips, but it sent a pleasant tingle sizzling into the pit of my stomach.

As I pulled back, a strange look crossed her face.

"What is it?" I said, taking her face in my hands.

"Why'd you kiss me?"

I was confused at first, but as I considered the matter, she must have assumed that I'd not continue offering physical attention now that the deed had been done.

"Because I wanted to. I like you, so I want to kiss you. I apologize; I should have asked first."

She smirked, shaking her head. "You don't need to ask, just take what you want."

A salacious grin briefly twisted my lips. "That's a dangerous offer."

She managed a smile, but turned away from me. "We ought to wash up for dinner."

I agreed and followed her upstairs. The dark side of my desire begged me to join her, but my respect for her won out and I freshened up in the other bathroom up the hall.

I was loath to retire to bed with wet hair, not to mention it took a lengthy time to wash, so instead of the shower, I opted for the clawfoot tub, sure to toss my hair over the side to rest on the clean towel I'd put down.

As I slid into the hot water, I practically moaned at the sensation of my tense muscles loosening. Despite my body relaxing in the water, the weight remained.

Anxiety. That's what this was. I couldn't remember truly feeling that way before going to Nibelheim and meeting Claudia.

"What should I do now? Where do we go from here?"

When I finally gathered my nerve to face Claudia again, I found her in the kitchen making sandwiches.

She glanced up at me with a meek smile. "I hope you're not allergic to peanuts," she said.

"I'm not."

"Good." She slid a plate over to me. "Sorry, it's not much. Our cook doesn't work on weekends."

"What is this?"

Raising a questioning eyebrow to me, she said, "A peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

"A what?" I picked up the triangle, inspecting it carefully.

"Don't tell me you've never heard of a pbj." She began to eat.

"I've never had one." Not wanting to be rude, I took a bite. The taste wasn't as odd as I'd imagined, but the stickiness wasn't exactly what I found delightful. Thankfully, she offered me a glass of milk to wash it down.

"That I can believe." She said between bites. "You did say you missed out on your childhood."

"Are peanut butter sandwiches a childish thing?"

"They are mostly enjoyed by children."

"You seemed somewhat affected by my lack of a normal childhood. Why is that?"

She shrugged, taking a deep breath. "I guess I felt sorry for you. I know you're successful and led a good life, but… I don't know, what about your parents? I wouldn't be able to watch my child grow up knowing only war."

My parents?

There it was again, another terrible pang in my gut.

"My mother died when I was born and my father…" I scoffed, "Well, he's of no consequence."

"Oh," she breathed, taking another bite of her sandwich. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be; I'm not." It was a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either.

"I hope that when I have children one day, that I can watch them grow up and be happy."

"I'm sure you will. You already live a somewhat charmed life, there's no reason your children wouldn't have the same."

"Sephiroth, I, umm," She turned around like she wanted to make a grave confession. Glancing down at the sandwich on her plate, she simply said, "I need to learn to cook."

I studied her for a moment, a soft chuckle escaping my lips. That couldn't have been what she wanted to say; perhaps she was too nervous to confess her true thoughts.

"Do you live off of only peanut butter on the weekends?"

"Mostly, but I also go foraging," she said, peering up at me abashedly.

"Well, it's your lucky day. I know how to cook and I'll teach you, if you like."

Her face lit up. "Will you please?"

"Of course, I don't offer services I don't wish to give."

I rummaged through the cupboards and freezer, finding some pasta, frozen chicken, white wine, and butter.

"Here," I handed her a medium sized pot. "Fill this with water and place it on the stove. Turn the burner on high."

She did exactly as I said and while the water boiled, I instructed her to begin dicing up the wild onion, garlic, and lobster mushrooms that she'd foraged earlier that day. Meanwhile, I offered a touch of fire magic to quickly thaw out the frozen chicken breast.

Once the water reached boiling, I tossed in a handful of pasta before showing her how to grill the chicken and prepare the white wine sauce.

"So, how come you can't cook?" I said, stirring the sauce.

"I also lost my mom when I was little. I think I was four," Claudia said as she did her best to saute the vegetables. "I remember my dad trying to care for me the very best he could, but he didn't know much about how to raise a girl. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

"Can I ask how he passed?"

She breathed a deep sigh. "My uncle insists that he died - never a how, just that he's deceased. The truth, though? My dad is probably still alive."

"Why's that?"

"Because he told me to pack up my favorite things and that we were going to stay at his brother's house for a while. When we arrived, he helped me unload my stuff and we went inside, he gave me a hug and a kiss, then he got back in his car and drove away. I never saw him again."

I tried to maintain my stoic indifference as I listened, but I couldn't stomp out the sickly sensation in my stomach.

"How old were you?"

"I was 15."

"Why would your father just abandon you?"

"I wish I knew."

Suddenly, it sort of made sense why her uncle asked me to stay and take care of her. He didn't want her to feel that she'd been abandoned again. He was the only family she had left.

Without a second thought, I dropped the spoon and took her in my arms. She froze, seemingly taken aback, but ultimately returned my embrace.

"We're two of a kind, aren't we?" I murmured.

"Yeah," she said, turning her face into my chest.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought up your parents."

"No, it's fine. I made you talk about yours."

I leaned back from her, holding her face in my hands. A few tears rolled down her cheeks and nose had become ruddy.

"Don't cry, my beauty." I wiped her tears away from her face. "You still have your uncle. And me."

"I have you?"

"Yes. We've shared something special, haven't we? I can't just leave you and forget."

"You'll have to go back to Midgar soon."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean that I won't always be your friend. You're special to me, Claudia."

She managed a smile. "You're special to me too, Sephiroth."

I stole another kiss.