On Today's Episode: With Lumiere's blackmail ammo thoroughly obliterated, he falls back on his latest secret weapon in an attempt to cut out the middleman and get rid of the spies. But this particular robot is a lot more limber than most robots its size, thanks to Lumiere's actual trump card. Can the spies defeat this wild machine before Lumiere brings the place down on their heads?
Act 3: Capsule Review
7:03 P.M. – Lumiere's Secret Lair
"All right, Lumiere, we're sick of giving you the runaround by now!" Haruka proclaimed once the spies had caught up with Lumiere.
"Yeah, get your keester out here so we can teach you a lesson!" May demanded.
"...is he actually still here, or did he give us the slip?" Mat wondered.
Nick took a good look around the room, using his psychic radar to pinpoint their target.
"Nope, he's here," Nick answered. "I can sense him clear as day."
"Get out here, you jerk-face!" Alex demanded.
"Well, sorry, but I have to stay in here in order to utilize this piece of technology," Lumiere sneered.
"And that's supposed to mean what?" Sam chastised.
"I think he's talking about that," Hikari remarked and pointed.
This particular robot resembled a movie director with the appropriate garments, and it had a large razor-sharp clapboard as a right-hand weapon, a laser pistol shaped like a camera in its left hand, and two film reel lasso guns clamped to its shoulders.
"Whoa, I didn't think robots like that could actually look gaudy," Makoto commented.
"Yeesh, it's ugly," Haruka quipped.
They could hear a lot of noise from Lumiere's robot as it moved.
"Wait, wait, how is it moving like that?!" Clover wondered as it moved in a zigzag position.
"He's controlling the mech with that motion-capture suit of his!" Sam exclaimed.
"Wacky walking or not, he's done for!" Blaine proclaimed.
"Well, then, let's wreck both that robot and his dumb suit!" May remarked and led the charge.
The Deadly Director stopped just short of the spies and swung its clapboard down, forcing May to back up a few steps before resuming her charge and attacking its legs instead, causing it to stumble backwards.
After quickly recovering its poise, no doubt thanks to Lumiere's motion-capture suit, the Deadly Director stomped the ground to create a rumble before moving in to strike, firing film reels from its shoulder guns to grab both Melissa and Dawn before yanking them closer to it.
"Oh, no, I don't think so," Nick growled as he flew forward, formed a psychic blade on his hands, and slashed through the film reels before juking around the Deadly Director and slicing at its back a few times. "I am getting real sick and tired of that cliché. Or... should I say, I'm getting reel sick of it."
"You think you're funny, boy?" Lumiere shot back, Nick's comment having clearly struck a nerve.
The Deadly Director responded in kind, spinning its arms around and attempting to catch Nick in its attack. Nick simply projected a psychic barrier to defend himself before rushing in to strike again.
Much to his surprise, though, the Deadly Director evaded his next move, using its film reels like lassos to swing around the arena.
"Man, this thing's fast," Haruka quipped.
"Oh, it wants fast, I'll give it fast," Bridget proclaimed. "Sonic Mode, online!"
The Deadly Director landed on the floor before running towards the spies again, but Bridget was quicker on the draw this time, blitzing by it and slashing at its side with a Platinum Credit Card before jumping off of the nearby wall to leap back towards it and strike again.
"Stand still, you little gnat!" Lumiere exclaimed.
"Make me!" Bridget laughed as she continued to run around the arena.
"...glad to oblige," Lumiere sneered.
Just then, the Deadly Director lashed out with a flying kick that forced Bridget to duck underneath it, only to get snatched out of her run by its other hand.
"What say you now, little girl?" Lumiere cackled.
Much to his confusion, Bridget simply smirked.
"Rules for villains, number one hundred and fifteen," Bridget retorted. "When holding the heroes with your secret weapon, always make sure their limbs are restrained as well!"
Before Lumiere had a chance to curse his carelessness, Bridget raised her right hand and snapped her fingers, discharging all of the kinetic energy she'd gathered over the course of this trip as a shockwave of emerald lightning. The shockwave blasted the Deadly Director back, forcing it to release Bridget in the process.
The Deadly Director attempted to go back on the offensive, but the spies noticed that it wasn't moving as fluidly as it had earlier, no doubt due to Bridget's attack messing with its systems.
"It looks like it's getting all herky-jerky," Nick quipped. "Can somebody freeze it in place so we can assemble the Vortex Blaster and end this shindig?"
"Leave that to me," Bridget responded as she brought out a bottle of Ice Queen Perfume and started running circles around the Deadly Director while spraying it, completely freezing its lower half in a block of ice that stopped it from moving.
"That's our cue, everybody!" Alex laughed. "Let's put 'em together!"
Sam started first, producing an Electromagnetic Curling Iron and tossing it to Nick. Alex followed up with a Laser Lipstick and a Cyclone Blast Hairdryer. Nick connected the Laser Lipstick right above the barrel of the Electromagnetic Curling Iron, and the Cyclone Blast Hairdryer on top of the ECM, just behind the control panel. Clover finished by throwing Nick a Helicopter Hand Fan and a pair of wings from a spare Jetpack Backpack. Nick attached the Helicopter Hand Fan to the underside of the ECM's barrel, then placed the wings on either side of the ECM.
The combination weapon now complete, Sam, Alex, and Clover joined Nick to hold the weapon, Sam and Alex holding the jetpack wings, Clover grasping the side handle and Nick holding the main handle, his finger on the firing trigger.
"...actually, I've got an idea on this one," Nick quipped once the Vortex Blaster was assembled.
Haruka and May quickly got Nick's message, and they moved forward so they could all tag out, with Haruka holding the main handle, May holding the side handle, and Hikari and Makoto holding onto the wings.
"May and I were the ones who really got targeted by your dumb scheme, Lumiere," Haruka proclaimed.
"So how fitting that we're the ones who are gonna blast your big bot to bits!" May exclaimed.
"Let's wrap this up, everyone!" Hikari stated.
"FIRE!" the four of them shouted together as Haruka pulled the firing trigger.
The blades of the Helicopter Hand Fan extended outward and started spinning rapidly. May pulled the trigger a second time, and the Electromagnetic Curling Iron, the Laser Lipstick, and the Cyclone Blast Hairdryer all fired their payload into the spinning blades. Two seconds later, the Vortex Blaster unleashed a massive four-way blast consisting of a large electromagnetic beam surrounded by a spiraling wind blast and a barrage of laser bolts.
The blast screamed through the air before colliding with the Deadly Director and sending it careening into the upper wall, where the blast continued to batter at it until the machine could take no more and exploded violently, sending parts flying every which way.
In the midst of his machine's destruction, Lumiere attempted to invoke rule twelve and slip away, but Haruka and May both noticed and rushed in to attack.
"Nice try, buddy," Haruka taunted as she leg sweeped Lumiere off of his feet, then grabbed him by the ankles to slam him back into the ground, followed up by May swinging her anchor to send Lumiere flying into the opposite wall, after which he slid down in a swirly-eyed daze.
"Seriously, why are so many villains so bad at following rule twelve?" Nick chuckled as he raised his hand to capture the dazed Lumiere inside of a psychic bubble.
"You'd better consider yourselves really lucky that that's all we did, you film hack," Haruka proclaimed.
"If we're all done with that, let's get the heck out of here, shall we?" May quipped. "I've kinda had enough of this dude for a long time."
"Freakin' tell me about it," Hikari laughed.
8:11 P.M. – W.O.O.H.P. Headquarters
Jerry's Office
"Once again, a fantastic performance, spies," Jerry proclaimed once the post-mission briefing was over and Lumiere had been carted off to containment. "Oh, by the way, that film crew that 'visited' you has offered an official apology for what happened."
"To be fair, they probably had no idea that Lumiere had hijacked the 'movie' for his own ends," Hikari quipped. "That's usually how a lot of those bad guys do it, by taking advantage of the innocent people."
"Let's just hope that Lumiere stays in containment for a while," Makoto admitted. "A little of that guy goes a long way."
"Trust me, I know that feeling," Alex giggled.
"Now that that's over, I'll send you all back home so you can relax, since I'm pretty sure this has been quite the stressful day," RiCO stated as she waved her hands to send everyone back to the beach house.
10:40 A.M. – The Spies' Beach House
A Few Days Later
After the mission had concluded and some time had passed, the spies had just finished their breakfasts while Mat occupied the TV again for the fifth round of 12 of the 2010 Lucas Oil Pro Motocross Championship. This time, they were racing at Thunder Valley Raceway in Lakewood, CO – site of the 2010 Motocross of Nations. Calling the race were Jason Weigandt of Racer X (back after missing the last race at Budds Creek), former TV analyst David Bailey, and Erin Bates as the pit reporter.
"Oh, they're not racing at night this time?" Melissa wondered when she came to see.
Currently, Mat was watching along with Nick, Haruka, May, and Sam.
"No, it's back to the traditional daytime race; no idea why," Mat replied.
Currently, the 250cc broadcast was just about finishing up, and leading the way was series points leader Christophe Pourcel on his #377 Pro Circuit Kawasaki. Pourcel had gotten the lead very late into the second moto after dominating the first moto.
"Great ride so far by Pourcel," Nick remarked.
With over 3 minutes remaining, GEICO Powersports Honda's Justin Barcia #17 and DNA Shred Stix Yamaha's Broc Tickle #20 were battling when they had passed a rider who had crashed.
Jason: OH!
David: Speaking of bringing out the worst... geez!
Jason: That was Jake Weimer.
David: He might want to pull in. He's out of the points... just... save yourself at this point!
Jason: I don't even... we're out of words as for Weimer...
"I really thought Weimer was going to contend for this title, too, but nothing is just going right..." Mat sighed and shook his head at Weimer crashing for the fourth time in this moto alone.
Clover saw what was going on, and she was happy to see Pourcel leading on the final lap.
Jason: No such trouble here in the altitude this time... Christophe Pourcel DOMINATES HERE IN COLORADO!
"Yeah, French-y!" Clover cheered.
"Oy vey..." May groaned and rolled her eyes.
"Ah, just like old times," Nozomi quipped.
Pourcel had become the first 2-time winner of the 2010 250cc Motocross season. He was followed by GEICO Powersports Honda's Trey Canard #38 in 2nd, and Pro Circuit Kawasaki rookie Dean Wilson #108 finishing in 3rd. The overall top 3 looked exactly the same with Pourcel sweeping the motos, and Canard and Wilson going 3-2 and 2-3 respectively with Canard winning the fight for 2nd place due to the better second moto.
"Well, obviously this stuff hasn't changed with Mat," Makoto chuckled.
"No, but I would like this year to be going much better than it is... to be frank," Mat replied.
"Oh, we know that feeling," Melissa sighed. "It was seriously no fun seeing Mat all down in the dumps so early..."
With that, Hikari and Makoto were brought up to speed from the first Supercross round at Anaheim up to the last round of Motocross at Budds Creek.
"Yeesh, that sounds pretty bad," Hikari admitted.
"I'm sure we've all got those kinds of moments, where you're really sad your favorite team isn't doing so hot," Makoto quipped.
"Oh, tell me about it," Nick responded, knowing exactly what that felt like.
The 450cc broadcast began shortly after that, but the moto 1 highlights left Mat with some mixed reactions once again.
Honda's Andrew Short #29, a local Colorado native, had gotten the early lead only to crash and drop back to around 12th place. Later, Josh Grant on his #33 Joe Gibbs Racing Toyota Yamaha made a ballsy move around the outside of points leader and 450cc rookie Ryan Dungey on his #5 Rockstar Makita Suzuki.
David: One percent faster and his bike would've drifted over that berm! Look how (Jason grunts) aggressive that move was, and that's what it took! Dungey looks over and goes, "Well, if you want it that bad, you can have it!"
Jason: What'd you say at the top of the show? You gotta attack Dungey... that's what Josh Grant did.
"Did he ever!" Mat exclaimed.
"You got that right," Bridget chuckled, having just come in to see the 450cc class.
Everyone else was right behind her after a Smash game upstairs.
Yamaha's Grant would win the first moto with Dungey in 2nd and Canidae Suzuki's Tommy Hahn #10 finishing 3rd; early leader Short finished in 8th. As for the defending champ Chad Reed on his #1 Monster Energy Kawasaki, he had another bad moto with a 10th place finish, much to Mat's dismay.
"Oh, not again..." Mat sighed.
"I guess that's only the tip of the iceberg, then," Hikari deduced, feeling sorry for Mat.
"I wouldn't feel any different than you would be, Mat," Makoto added.
Haruka was tempted to ask Melissa about getting that next car wash battle out of the way, but she kept it to herself while the second 450 moto got under way.
Jason: And it's almost a replay of the first moto – Andrew Short edging out... OH, A BIG PILEUP in the first turn! [Kyle] Cunningham, who was 5th in moto 1 is down... JOSH GRANT, OUR MOTO 1 WINNER IS DOWN! Dan Reardon as well!
"Oh, are you serious?!" Mat sighed in frustration again.
"What the heck?!" Melissa chastised as well.
Grant had finally gotten going, but once again, Ryan Dungey was the benefactor of some real bad luck from his opponents.
About 20 seconds later, GEICO Powersports Honda's Brett Metcalfe #24 had gotten stuck in a rut, but after that, Chad Reed had nowhere to go and crashed himself.
David: OH NO!
Jason: CHAD REED GETS BURIED UNDER BRETT METCALFE... AND A BUNCH OF RIDERS GOT SLOWED UP THERE! KYLE REGAL AS WELL!
Mat could only roll his eyes and groan. "You see what I mean?" He asked Hikari and Makoto.
A replay came up of that first turn crash that claimed Grant and several others.
David: There's nowhere to go. He gets pinched a little bit, then he finds an opening... and then the front wheel tucks...
Jason: He does a complete flip!
David: That's just... only Josh Grant could do that! It reminds me of that Mt. Morris deal last year where he did a big flip, the bike wandered along and ran into a car... [chuckles] It's not funny... it's hard not to chuckle a little bit...
Mat chuckled a bit, too. "But the result's still the same... another race where Dungey benefits!"
In the meantime, it was Short, Dungey, and Ben Townley on the #101 Troy Lee Designs Honda in 3rd.
At the 22-minute mark, Dungey finally made the move on Short for the lead, much to Mat's dismay. Meanwhile, Tommy Hahn, who was 3rd in moto 1, was running in 6th (despite a dislocated shoulder) and making a move for a top 5 and hopefully an overall podium finish. It turned into a 4-rider fight for 2nd place with Honda's Metcalfe, and Honda privateer Kyle Regal #41 included until Regal crashed in the ruts.
"Oof," Haruka stated.
"He was so close, too," Blaine replied.
Regal, on his Merge Racing Honda, had remounted in 7th place.
"Bro, where are you right now as far as Chad Reed goes?" Nick asked Mat.
He was about to answer until...
David: For these guys who are capable of winning... and mess up... and see Dungey up there, and then Dungey's leading this again, you're like, "Ugh... just hate the guy!"
Jason: Yeah!
David: You know, 'cause he's taking money out of your wallet, and he wants what you have... or wants what you want, and he's getting it, and you're not! I've been there – it's frustrating!
"That should sum it up," Mat sighed.
Everyone reacted as Suzuki's Hahn crashed in one of the upcoming turns.
"Oh, jeez," May sighed.
"Hey, sometimes that just happens," Nick answered.
As for moto 1 winner Josh Grant, he had climbed up to 11th place, but his odds of winning the overall were still slim to none.
One of the next shots found Chad Reed had fought up to 8th place (still to Mat's dismay) before the next shot went to Tommy Hahn, who was now in the pits and being carried off by two others to the Asterisk Medic Cart.
Jason: Uh... Erin Bates, what do you have?
Erin: Well, guys, I just asked Tommy Hahn if we could grab a word from him, but apparently he just mentioned that he's got a broken leg, and riders know their bodies well enough to know the situation that's taking place, and as you're witnessing, he was just sat on the back of the mule. The Asterisk Medical Team is taking good care of him; they'll observe him, take him back, and make sure everything's okay.
"I CANNOT BELIEVE this guy's luck sometimes," Mat sighed.
"Sometimes you've just got bad luck at something," Makoto admitted. "Like that one camera that Hikari bought from Amazon?"
"I swear, I thought that thing was cursed," Hikari groaned, remembering that debacle well. "That's why you never buy brand new cameras used."
As for the fight for the lead, there was still none since Dungey took the lead from Short.
With 2 laps to go, Chad Reed had moved up to 7th place and was chasing the privateer Kyle Regal for 6th (again).
David: His lines are better; he looks faster, his body English, body language is more aggressive than the first moto, but having to come from behind again is such a heartbreaker. He's ridden enough, he's been a champion enough, he's got that #1 plate... it's just frustrating to be back here looking at Kyle Regal again going, "Can somebody get me around in front of this guy?! I'm sick of Kyle Regal right now!"
"Tell me about it..." Mat remarked and chuckled again.
Sam and Britney consoled Mat that this was another bad round for Chad Reed.
Jason: He's looking at 4 in a row! RYAN DUNGEY TAKES THE TOYOTA TRUCKS NATIONAL HERE AT LAKEWOOD, COLORADO! Unbelievable run for Dungey!
"Love that," Alex giggled at a yellow Suzuki winning again.
The final results of moto 2 had Ben Townley in 2nd, and Andrew Short rounding out the podium in 3rd. As for Chad Reed, 7th was the farthest he could get to. Josh Grant, who crashed in the first turn and front-flipped over his Yamaha, had come back for a 10th place finish. In the overall, it was Dungey the winner with a 2-1, Ben Townley 2nd with a 6-2, and Brett Metcalfe with a 4-4. Grant's 10th place finish put him 4th place overall; Chad Reed's results of 10-7 put him 9th place overall, much to Mat's dismay once again.
The points standings showed Dungey with a bigger points lead of 51 over the new man in 2nd place, Brett Metcalfe, who jumped ahead of Chad Reed, now 58 points behind Dungey's 218.
"So, Hikari, do you wish to show us how your movie's coming so far?" Nozomi requested.
"We'd be glad to," Hikari grinned.
Haruka groaned slightly since she wanted to ask Melissa about that next car wash battle, but she did bring it up to Melissa.
"Right now?" Melissa asked.
"Car wash battle?" Makoto wondered.
"Oh, one of our newer forms of fun these past few summers," Nick laughed.
"Hmm... maybe Haruka might not be the best person to ask, but maybe you could... show us your battle and maybe we could film it for our next project?" Makoto wondered.
"Like a garbage scene or something?" Blaine wondered.
Some of the spies were pretty surprised that Makoto was asking that question.
"After that last caper?" Dawn wondered.
"No, no... it's fine," Haruka insisted.
"Totally," Melissa added. "Let me just get a two-piece."
"Yeah, we're not gonna let a crazy filmmaker stop us from having some summer fun!" May laughed.
"You would say something like that, May," Nick chuckled.
While Haruka and Melissa suited up for their "battle", Hikari and Makoto set up their cameras and all the necessary equipment.
"So, just do what you usually do, and we'll do our thing," Makoto quipped.
"I hope you're ready to get dunked," Haruka taunted as she readied herself.
"Oh, we shall see, won't we?" Melissa chuckled.
"Oh, before we get started, I'm calling the next one," Bridget stated. "It's been a while since I got to be in one, and I'm making you my opponent, Dawn!"
"You've got yourself a deal," Dawn responded rather dramatically.
"All right, quiet on the set!" Hikari proclaimed, shifting into 'director mode', as Makoto so eloquently put it. "Check zoom, steady the camera... lights, camera, action!"
Almost immediately after that call, Haruka quickly aimed the hose towards Melissa and started spraying her.
"That's right, my little puppet, dance!" Haruka cackled, too focused on her quarry to see Melissa getting closer on purpose.
"Nah, I'm not much of a dancer," Melissa chuckled before reaching out to yank the hose away. "How about you show me?"
Melissa aimed the hose and fired, only for Haruka to duck at the last second so that the water blast hit May instead.
"...ummmm... oops?" Melissa sputtered.
"All right-y, then, if that's how we're gonna play it," May proclaimed, using her X-Powder to change into her orange two-piece and charge into the fray, grabbing the hose from Melissa. "Just remember, you reap what you sow!"
With that, May proceeded to spray both Haruka and Melissa in wide, sweeping splashes.
"This got way more interesting than I thought, huh?" Alex giggled.
"That it did," Nick chuckled as the rest of the spies watched Haruka and Melissa try to escape from May.
8:13 P.M. – Dearly Beloved Memorial Hospital
Three Months Ago
Sarina looked like an angel when she was sleeping.
At least, that's how Nick saw it.
Sarina had naturally exhausted herself during their whirlwind gaming adventure, so she had decided to take a nap.
Nick knew from personal experience that you could never really get much sleep when you were a patient in a hospital, given that the nurses and other doctors were always checking in every couple hours or so.
So Sarina had figured she'd get some rest while she could.
Nick couldn't help but think that, in this sleepy state, Sarina looked like your average teenager that had just gone for a run and was sleeping the exhaustion off, not an unfortunate soul who had been screwed over by fate at what felt like every turn.
And that just made Nick even more angry with Sarina's parents. What Sarina had told him lingered even now, and he wished that image would just go away.
He didn't want to think about them while he still had a promise to keep.
Nick looked back up when he heard his parents calling for him, which meant it was time to go back home for now.
"Hey, Sarina, I don't know if you can hear me right now," Nick stated. "But I gotta go. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can, okay? School doesn't seem to like me lately, does it?"
But as Nick stood up to head out, he was overcome by a sudden impulse.
After a couple seconds of internal debate, he decided to go for it and leaned down to kiss Sarina on the forehead before heading out to link up with his parents.
When Nick was out of sight, though, Sarina opened her eyes and smiled.
Totally Spies: The Creepy Jeepers Peepers
~The End~
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Final Note from Mat49324: Well, that's all for The Creepy Jeepers Peepers! Be honest, were you thinking that Haruka and May were going to be topless or naked or anything worse? None of that was ever going to happen from the start, so there was nothing to worry about there. My inquiring mind was never coming back here at all since that's for my thoughts only. Anyway, we hope you enjoyed this project, and that you'll view our next project, which is titled The Nebulous Narcissistic Nanny, and The Blue Time Ranger will be authoring that one. For now, here is The Blue Time Ranger for his final thoughts here.
Final Note from The Blue Time Ranger: And that's a wrap! For those of you worried, we weren't going to go anywhere beyond swimsuits for this, but we figured this is something Lumiere would probably do. And besides, I think I mentioned that I couldn't write 'raunchy' to save my life, especially without making it feel tacked-on and deflated.
Okay, with that done and dusted, let's preview the next caper of Totally Spies: The New Adventures! It's time for the first L.A.M.O.S. caper of the season, but this one has a bit of a crinkle in it. You'll see what we mean next time on The Nebulous Narcissistic Nanny, which will be posted by me. So, until next time, have a fantastic day, don't listen to the screeching morons, enjoy this preview of The Nebulous Narcissistic Nanny, and we'll see you next mission!
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"So, Jer, who do we have to shake down, knock out, or dope slap today?" Clover wondered.
"Well, that's the tricky part," RiCO answered as she materialized in the office and waved her hands to change the viewscreen to show a mugshot of both Helga von Guggen and Myrna Beesbottom.
"Ugh, not these chowderheads again," Alex groaned. "When is she ever going to learn that we don't need nannies?!"
"And that's the crux of this problem," RiCO replied. "Our trackers show that each of them is in different places."
"We detected Myrna somewhere in Europe, and Helga in the vicinity of Tachikawa, Tokyo," iCO explained.
"Wait, our moms are still in Europe, aren't they?" Clover gasped.
"And lord only knows which one of us Helga's trying to mess with this time, too," Nick stated.
"So, here's how we decided to handle this," RiCO proclaimed. "We're going to have you split up into two different teams so we can tackle both side of this problem at once. We'll send Sam, Alex, Clover, Britney, Mat, Bridget and Blaine to Europe to deal with Myrna, and we'll send Nick, Haruka, Nozomi, May, Melissa and Dawn to Tachikawa."
"Ah, playing to our strengths, I see," May chuckled.
"But wait, our team's one short, right?" Nick quipped, knowing who would be showing up any second now.
"Never fear, for I have arrived!" Sortiliena exclaimed as she skidded to a stop in the office and threw her hand up in a salute before standing with Nick's team. "No way would I miss out on something like this."
"We've already got all of your gadgets and gizmos inside your Skyskimmers, so all you have to do is go there and head out," iCO proclaimed.
"Sounds like a plan to me," Sam responded. "All right, spies, let's do this!"
To be continued in Totally Spies: The Nebulous Narcissistic Nanny...