Forbidden love for a Barkley
Part Twenty:
"I Knew You Were Trouble, pt. 7: Chained or Tied?"
Nick finally got the details about his father's affair with Leah that would later result in the birth of one Heath Barkley. Albeit, the affair would actually turn out to be a one night drunken rendezvous with Leah was entirely different than his passionate affair with Kerry. Tom explained what he could remember as a lot of it was hazy due to him being drunk off his behind. Upon finding out what he did, Nick stated that he understood why his father said there was nothing much to tell in regards to Leah while saying that it was to his understanding that he never told Victoria. Tom said his understanding was correct and that there were two reasons he didn't tell Victoria; One, everything that happened in between the night before and the next morning was such a blur and nobody can explain the events that go on during a drunken blur & Two, he was so focused on making things right with Victoria that he didn't feel the need to bring up Leah and what all he knew. After all, had he done that, it would've added insult to injury/poured salt into the wounds and Tom never wanted to do such a thing, even though, he technically did by committing infidelity three times; Twice with Kerry and once with Leah. Plus, he pointed out that Nick, Victoria, and the other Barkley children would find out for themselves not too long after he was gone when Heath showed up and told them what he knew. The reasons sounded logical, but understandably, Nick was very confused and said neither he nor anybody else could truly reconcile his father's actions, because he broke the commandment regarding adultery while conceding that what's done is done and it is taking him some time to process it and react to it as one part of him is angry at the betrayal, but the other part of him understands that Tom was immature and young during the first affair with Kerry and the rendezvous with Leah & plain ignorant during his second affair with Kerry that would happen later on. He is just confused on how to take things, but he knows he'll somehow get past it eventually. Nick would then ask a very pointed question on whether or not Tom's rendezvous with Leah was while Victoria was pregnant with Audra, earning himself a slap to the back of the head, followed by a brief bout of banter and laughter, before the two men got serious, again and Tom would explain how it was a year before Victoria would beat the odds. What did he mean by that, you may ask? Well, he explained that Victoria had been delivered the worst news anybody could hear; she may no longer able to have any more children let alone handle childbirth since she went through hell the times she had Jarrod and Nick & that even if she could, the next baby would most likely die or be stillborn. Tom explained how he still felt guilty for snapping at Victoria who was feeling bad about the news and about herself as it was & how he made it worse when a husband is supposed to make it better or at least, ease the blow. Plus, the guilt and remorse over the thrice infidelity and how if he could, he would reverse it, but he can't, because what's done is done. Nick agreed and stated that they have all of eternity to talk it over. This is when Tom would tell him that he was not dead and would show him a mirage where Nick saw himself lying unconscious somewhere. Tom told him he would be waking up very soon, but Nick didn't seem glad about the news at all which threw Tom for a loop as anybody would be glad to know they haven't died. Nick stated he wanted to stay as part of him just isn't ready to say goodbye to his father, but Tom would explain that nobody is ever ready to say goodbye, but on the same token, goodbye isn't the final thing as our loved ones will always be with us in our minds, hearts, spirit, and memories. Beth and Dominique would come into the room and give messages to Nick for him to pass onto Jarrod and Stefania, Tom making the same request. Nick would promise to pass the messages & protect Stefania as per Dominique's wishes before pulling his father, sister-in-law, and his girlfriend's cousin into a hug, the one with his father lasting a long time before bidding them farewell and going through the door. Now, the questions that remain are as follows: Where on earth is Nick? Who had him? Will he work on self forgiveness? and Will he remember to pass Tom, Beth, and Dominique's messages? Stay tuned and find out!
Author's Note: I do NOT own The Big Valley or its characters. I ONLY own this fic and the characters of: Stefania Mangano, Carmine Mangano Sr, Carmine's friends, Paulie Mangano, Leonard Barkley, Seth & his gang, and the Mangano family. This is the seventh to however many parts in second multi parter saga. You get the idea by now and also, this one may or may not be another brief chapter. We shall :D and huge apologies for repeating myself in the Author's note section in the previous chapter. I'm going to go back and fix it. Anyways, happy reading! Oh and this chapter is basically from one's point of view, so most of it is in Italics. Just a heads up :D
WARNING/TRIGGER WARNING: Someone may be tied or chained to a bed or something & there may be a slight hint of one's psyche being toyed with in this chapter. If it gives off an uncomfortable vibe/makes you uncomfortable, I understand completely and urge you to skip this chapter. Rated 'T' for a reason.
(Flashback to part 19)
"You don't make things easy, do you?" Tom smirked.
"Nope." Nick shook his head, "And who did I get that from?"
"Touche." Tom shook his head and still had that smirk on his face.
"Father." Nick put his serious face back on.
"Right. Well, I realized way later on that I had that encounter with Leah a year before your mother beat the odds." Tom started.
"What odds and how later?" Nick asked.
"After I was gone and in regards to the odds...giving birth to Audra let alone getting pregnant and going to full term. That very day that I yelled at your mother, she had been to the doctor and was told in no uncertain terms that she may not be able to have anymore children let alone handle childbirth, especially after she went through an excruciating labor with you and Jarrod prior. Plus, she was told that even if she could, the next baby may pass away, because Jarrod almost did and you were stillborn until I dipped you in cold water. That got you going. Anyways, the doctor delivered that news and as you can see, it crushed your mother, because she and I noticed you boys were thriving quickly and we wanted to give you two a sibling. Also, we wanted to dote on a baby again. So, hearing that she may not be able to handle the labor or have anymore kids plus knowing that the next one may pass on just broke your mother's heart." Tom continued, before shaking his head and getting a look of regret on his face, "There your mother was delivered the worst news which made her feel horrible about herself and what did I do? I hollered at her then I go off, meet a woman, get drunk, and wake up the next morning in a bed that I had no business being in. That's the kind of person, I am. Here, I ended my first tryst with Kerry Doherty years prior and made a vow then I break it again by having a drunken one night stand with Leah Thompson then many many many many years later, I'm at it with Kerry again. This time, you kids are older. Man alive, if I could have a do over, I would do it over and never ever get with Kerry or Leah. Ever! I would erase that, but what's done is done."
"Yeah, what's done is done, but we have all of eternity to talk it over." Nick nodded.
"No...no, we don't." Tom shook his head.
"What do you mean? I'm dead. I'm stone cold dead." Nick insisted.
"No, Nick...you're not dead." Tom looked Nick right in the eyes.
"What are you talki-I don't understand. If I'm not dead, how come I'm talking to you?" Nick was taken aback by this.
Tom motioned for Nick to follow him over to a window which he opened and whisked away fog.
"What are-What's this?" Nick had a weird look on his face.
"Take a look, son." Tom stepped aside.
"Hey...Hey! Hey, that's me. I'm...I'm..." Nick was at a loss of words, yet again after looking into what appeared to be a mirage.
"Uh huh. You're unconscious and have been for almost an hour and a half. You will be waking up soon." Tom looked into the mirage.
"I will?" Nick tilted his head to the side.
"That's right, son. You will be waking up very very soon." Tom nodded and put his hand on Nick's back.
"But...But..." Nick was at a loss for words, once again.
"Well, Nick, aren't you glad to know you're not dead?" Tom asked.
"Part of me says "Yes" and another part of me says "No". I mean I am glad & relieved, but I hate that I will be leaving you soon and we didn't get much of a chance to talk. All I did was apologize and badger you. We didn't really talk." Nick sighed, before walking away from the mirage.
"What are you talking about?" Tom closed the mirage and walked over to Nick, "We did indeed talk. In fact, we talked about things that we never had the chance to plus air out some things."
"Well, I guess...we...uh did that, but-" Nick was cut off.
"But nothing, Nick. You finally got the chance to apologize to me although there was no apology necessary. You had the right to feel the way you feel. Not only about Father Carmichael and his misdeeds, but the misdeeds I committed. Like you said, you looked up to both of us. Me, because...well, a son always idolizes his father...usually. Father Carmichael, because as you stated, after I was murdered, you felt you could go to him and confide into him about everything you were feeling. In a sense, he was the second father figure to you like how your uncle Jim was to Audra during the aftermath of my murder. Like how Jarrod's law school professor/mentor Strickland was to him during that time and your uncle Joe was to Eugene. You kids all had a different father-like person to lean on and unfortunately, Father Carmichael proved to be the exact opposite of the person you thought he was. So, naturally, just like my thrice infidelity, you freaked out after finding out about Father Carmichael stealing money and living a dishonest life. Plus, it is also natural for a parent and their child to feud for a while and say things they don't mean. It's all part of the game, Nick. That being said, so is forgiveness. I forgave you and now, you, my dear son, need to work on forgiving yourself." Tom put his hand on Nick's arm.
"I know, father, but-" Nick cut himself off.
"But what?" Tom asked.
"But...But...But...Volo Manere." Nick replied.
"Volo Manere?" Tom raised an eyebrow.
"That's Latin for...I wanna stay." Nick told him.
"You wanna stay? Why?" Tom was thrown off.
"Part of me wants to stay. Part of me just isn't...just isn't...ready to say...goodbye." Nick shook his head.
"Nick, nobody is ever ready to say "Goodbye". Nobody is, son. However, "goodbye" is what we all say at funerals when it comes to a loved one's death. It's just what we say. It isn't the final thing." Tom started.
"It isn't?" Nick asked.
"Nope. Just, because we say 'goodbye', doesn't mean that is it. It's all over. It's just something we say, because in actuality, our loved ones will always be with us and a part of us. They may not be with us physically, but they are there with us in spirit, in our hearts, and the memories we had, even if those memories are short lived like with Jarrod and Beth or Stefania and Dominique. Our loved ones don't leave us forever. Sure they leave us in the physical form, but they never truly leave as they are and always will be in our minds and hearts." Tom smiled.
"That...That's beautiful, father." Nick choked back the tears that were threatening to spill.
Just then, the door opened again and in came not only Beth, but Dominique alongside her, this time.
"Nick, it is almost time for you to return, but before you do, Dominique wanted to meet you." Beth stepped aside, so Dominique could walk up to Nick.
"Piacere di conoscerti, signor Barkley. Potresti passare un messaggio a Stefania ? (Nice to meet you, Mr. Barkley. Could you pass a message to Stefania?)" Dominique walked up to Nick and shook his hand.
"Hello, Dominique. I'm sorry, but I didn't understand that." Nick shook her hand.
"She said it is nice to meet you and asked if you could pass a message to Stefania." Beth translated what Dominique said.
"You know Italian?" Nick was surprised.
"I was in Italy for a vacation or retreat if you will and decided to pick up the language. Out of respect, of course." Beth smiled.
"That's amazing, Beth. Jarrod would be very fascinated by that and so would Stefania. Speaking of Stefania, I will definitely pass a message along. What is the message?" Nick smiled.
"So che Stefania non ha mai significato per me annegare come ho fatto io. È stato solo un brutto incidente e anche se non ce n'è bisogno, la perdono. Non ho nulla contro di lei. (I know Stefania never meant for me to drown like I did. It was just a bad accident and even though, there is no need for it, I forgive her. I hold nothing against her.)" Dominique told him.
"She said to tell Stefania that she knows she never meant for the drowning to happen. It was a bad accident and she forgives her even though there's no need for forgiveness or apologies." Beth translated.
"I certainly will pass that to Stefania." Nick nodded.
"Dille che la amo molto e che cerchi di perdonarsi. (Tell her, I love her very much and to try to forgive herself)." Dominique added.
"She said to tell Stefania that she loves her very much and to try to forgive herself." Beth passed the message to Nick.
"I sure will. You know, I think self forgiveness is something Stefania and I are both going to have to work on." Nick replied, before kneeling down to Dominique's level after she gestured "come here" followed by pointing downward.
"Un'altra cosa... prenditi cura di Stefania. È la mia migliore amica. (One more thing...take care of Stefania. She's my very best friend)." Dominique pulled Nick close to her so that they were on the same eye level.
"She said for you to take care of Stefania, because she is her very best friend." Beth told him.
"I will. I promise. I promise with all my heart." Nick looked into Dominique's eyes.
Dominique, apparently convinced, smiled and pulled Nick into a hug.
"I promise, Dominique. I promise." Nick said, before pulling away from the hug after a few minutes and walking a few feet back towards the door, "Well, I...I guess...I should be heading back."
Tom and Beth didn't say anything and only nodded.
"Father?" Nick turned to his father.
"Yes, son?" Tom asked.
Nick walked up and pulled him into a tight hug, burying his face into his shoulder. Tom hold onto Nick very tightly as well while Beth and Dominique exchanged glances before looking back at the father/son duo and smiling.
After a few more minutes of the embrace, both men breathed a sigh of relief before breaking away from it. Nick then walked over to Beth and Dominique & pulled them into a quick hug, before walking over to the door and opening it.
"Arrivederci, signor Barkley. (Bye, Mr. Barkley)." Dominique waved at Nick.
"Arrivederci, Dominique." Nick nodded to Dominique before turning to his sister-in-law and father, "Goodbye, Beth. Goodbye...father."
"Goodbye, Nick. Oh and please, tell Jarrod that I love and miss him & that it is okay to move on and find love, again. I want him to be happy and I know he'll always love me. Plus, to please, forgive himself for what happene to me." Beth told him.
"I will, Beth. I will." Nick nodded to Beth before making eye contact with his father, "I love you, father. I'll...be seeing ya."
"I love you too, son and anytime you need to talk, I'll be around." Tom nodded.
Nick nodded before turning around and walking through the door.
(Now)
Nick slowly opened his eyes and what he saw wasn't what he had previously seen. It wasn't a beautiful bedroom. It was a room that appeared to have been unoccupied for years. In fact, it looked more like a chamber than a regular bedroom with the wallpaper all faded & peeling, the ceiling & walls having cracks in them, the window sill having vines starting to creep into the little cracks, a lantern not supplying enough light, and a hanging fixture which appeared to be a chandelier that looked as if it was going to fall at any given moment due to the chain hanging by a thin piece of metal that had long rusted by now just added to the eerie vibe this room was giving Nick. Well, that and the creaking noises.
*Nick's POV*
'Ohhh, this place does not look familiar. It does...not...look like somewhere...I have ever been before.'
I look at the peeling wallpaper and cracks before closing my eyes in order to see if somehow I could remember what it looked like before this, but nothing happens. I open my eyes.
'Nope. This place doesn't draw any familiarities. I would've remembered it in its former state. Nah, this place looks so derelict that if you were to lean onto the wall, the whole damned structure would topple over within a split second.'
I look up at the chandelier that hangs over my head...literally and get wide eyed.
'That thing looks like it is just seconds away from collapsing on top of my head if not my whole body. I hope it doesn't, but whatever happens...happens.'
I shake my head at all the observations I made so far.
'What is the matter with me? I'm not even questioning how I got here! That should be my number one concern. Not all of the obersvations I made.'
I begin to wonder who could've brought me here.
'How did I get here and who brought me here?'
I come up with a list of people who are the possible culprits.
'Okay, it was either Paulie Mangano, that Massimo guy, the rest of their friends, McMahon and his gang, & Carmine Mangano himself. Those are the only ones I can think of. Goodness! I don't think I have ever been taken and put into a dark room someplace.'
I start to remember the times that Danny Wiggins kid took me hostage in a cave and that Ben Dawes put me in that dungeon with those other guys after believing that one of the three of us were his wife's lover.
'Oh yeah. Danny Wiggins and that cave & Ben Dawes and that dungeon place. Times I really want to forget.'
I try to sit up only to find myself unable to do so.
'Hey! What's going on here?! What gives?! I just tried to sit up, but...but...I'm paralyzed! I can't move!'
I look down to see myself restrained to what appeared to be a concrete slab of sorts. Even my neck is restrained by lord only knows what!
'Well, this is just great! I'm trapped like a rat!'
I hear approaching footsteps and look over at the door.
'Okay...okay, this-this is it. The great reveal. I wonder who it was that took me here and tied me down like this. I truly do.'
I hear the footsteps getting closer and closer.
'Alright. This is it. This has to be it. It...just has to. However, who could it be?'
The footsteps go dead silent after a while and I feel my heart starting to race.
'What in the world? The footsteps stopped. They...They just stopped. Is this person toying with me like a cat with a mouse right before he kills the mouse? What's going on here?'
Nothing happens and I shake my head.
'Whoever brought me here obviously can't come in and face me! Otherwise, they would be in here right now! I mean it's funny that they can bring me in here unconscious and chain or tie me to this slab thing, but now, they can't even come into the room to check on me?! Pathetic! Then again, they're probably playing some sort of mind game with me! Whatever is going on is just sick and twisted!'
I look up at ceiling and think of Stefania.
'Then again, I shouldn't think about myself. I must remember what happened to Stefania. I can't forget that! Not even for a minute. No, scratch that. I'll never forget what happened to her nor will I forgive it. Nope, I'll never forgive and forget that & I'll make sure McMahon and his gang don't forget it either! In fact, once I get each and every one of them, I'll make them know why I'm getting them!'
I nod and get a determined look on my face, only to roll my eyes and remember I am still chained or tied up in a strange place.
'Yeah, those are great plans, but how do I go about them when I can't even move?! Focus, Nick! One thing at a time. First, find out who brought you, then get out, and start your quest.'
*Outside of Nick's mind*
Nick was eager to come face-to-face with the person who brought him to this place and either tied or chained him to the slab thing. It had to be somebody desperate enough to hold him hostage and possibly demand ransom after interrogating him of course. Weren't these kind of scenarios always carried out in that fashion? One would think so. Anyways, Nick felt that whoever was behind this owed it to him to come into the room and at least show their face, if nothing else. Fair was fair, right?
*10 minutes later*
Nobody had entered the room yet, but footsteps were heard out in the hallway. In fact, it almost sounded as if the person was pacing back and forth intentionally. It really did seem like the person was playing games with Nick's mind and Nick was growing very very understandably annoyed and slightly impatient.
*Nick's POV*
'Okay, whoever is doing this is going to regret it and wish they were never born, because once we're face to face, they're going to be dealt with...Barkley style! I don't go for these games and being toyed with is not I repeat not fun!'
I take a deep breath.
'Calm yourself. Steady, Nick. Steady. Don't lose your temper, yet.'
I realize that is easier said than done.
'Easy said than done, because it is hard for me to remain composed and resist the urge to either lash out or punch somebody when they've annoyed me or provoked me to that point!'
I feel myself getting angry.
'This is ridiculous! Here I am...chained or tied to God knows what while McMahon and his buddies are out running free and probably victimizing more women as I lay here!'
I start struggling in my restraints due to my patience growing thinner and thinner only to stop when I hear the doorknob slowly twisting.
'Brace yourself, Nick. This may be it. The person behind all of this just may come into the room and we'll go from there.'
I see the knob continuing to twist.
'Come on in here! Come on! Just open the door and come in!'
*Outside of Nick's mind*
Nick was eyeing the door like a Hawk about to swoop down and take a Mouse for its meal. He was bound and determined to see who was behind the door and all of what had happened. He wanted all of this to be done and over, so that way he can get on with his goal of getting McMahon and his gang, one by one and making them pay for what they did to Stefania.
'Any day now. It is a little rude to keep someone waiting.' Nick thought, as he stopped struggling against his restraints.
The door started to slowly open only for it to close immediately, followed by soft laughter heard out in the hallway. It was almost as if the person enjoyed doing this to Nick, knowing they may be getting to him.
'This is going from ridiculous to immature within a minute! Just get in here, show yourself, and we can go from there! Come on!' Nick thought.
The door started to open again and went to shut just as fast only for somebody to be heard whispering: "Get in there already. You've stalled long enough!" even though, the whisper was very faint. As soon as the door shut, a figure started to walk towards Nick.
'Finally! Now, just to see the face of whoever this person is and go from there.' Nick mentally told himself.
As soon as the figure stood right next to Nick, they remained silent. A lantern could be heard being set down, followed by the sound of a match striking and the flame that came from the match after being struck.
'This is promising.' Nick said in his mind.
Just as the lantern was lit, the room started to brighten up a little. Nick took his attention away from the lantern, looking over to see that the figure was clad in nothing, but black boots, black pants, black gloves, a black hat, and a black cape. He couldn't see their face as they had their back to him, but that all changed when the person took their cape and hat off, letting their long dark hair fall onto their back.
"Good. Good...so far." Nick quietly said under his breath.
The person slowly turned around to face Nick.
To Be Continued...
?: Hello!
Nick: Who are you?! What's going on?
Jarrod: Nick, where are you?
Stefania: Nick, who has you? What are they doing?
Heath: Boy howdy! Wait for the next chapter.
Carmine: Yeah, in the meantime, R&R!
Author's Note #2: I fixed the Author's Note section in the previous chapter, so that way I wouldn't be repeating myself. Again, huge apologies for that.
September 11, 2001-Never Forget! 23 years ago, nearly 3,000 people lost their lives that day. May they Rest in Peace & Never be forgotten.