"Here you are, sir! Please, take your seat."
"My thanks."
Angelina pulled out a mahogany chair for him, looking every bit like a professional, if a bit racy maid. They had moved towards a booth near the back, HEPHAESTUS desiring a more private and quiet location that avoided the cheers from the Aphrodite familia members spectating the bloodshed outside.
With that, he settled in, enjoying the plush comfort afforded by the fancy furniture. It was something he'd not had access to since obtaining his new body; human luxuries, even the simple ones, are rather enjoyable.
"Do you want anything to order whilst you wait for your... companions, sir?"
The maid smiled at him beatifically, suddenly holding a notepad and pencil.
HEPHAESTUS considered for a moment, then responded.
"A glass of water is fine."
"You sure? No alcohol~?"
"I do not desire to lose my senses. Water is fine."
"Hmph, if you say so..."
She doesn't bother noting that down and just puts the pad and pencil back in her breast-pocket, before smiling again and bowing.
"If you need anything else, call for Angelina! I'll be right down; enjoy your time at The Pink Heart inn!"
"I appreciate your service. Thank you."
Thinking that the conversation was over, the A.I. looked away from the now named Angelina to observe the surroundings of the pub again, but she remained stood in place, seeming hesitant about something.
Noticing this, the stoic man tilted his head in confusion, unsure as to what social convention he may have missed.
"Is something wrong?"
Startled, the human woman had a brief look of shyness about her, before soon donning the sultry mask she possessed earlier.
"Nothing, nothing~! Just wondering..."
She closed in on HEPHAESTUS, tilting his chin up a bit with a finger.
"...Could you tell me your name~?"
HEPHAESTUS had a realisation. He had forgot that, hadn't he? although, he was under the impression that service industry staff don't require such information, but nonetheless he would adapt to these new societal norms.
"My designation is HEPHAESTUS."
That was enough to push the woman out of 'Seduction Mode', looking confused at the answer.
"Like... the Goddess?"
A brief twitch of his brow was the only evidence of the disguised elf's irritation.
"A coincidence. I have no relation to such a Higher Being."
"R-right... I'll go get your water then!"
"Appreciated."
And so he was left alone, the waitress walking towards the kitchen, seemingly put out that her 'seduction technique didn't work properly', whatever that meant; HEPHAESTUS found that a lot of the humans he had met so far were highly irrational compared to his previous Earth's. Marius so far was the only one with a truly level head.
Regardless, he could finally think clearly without any humans prattling in his ear about such and such, the corner of the pub he was sat in being mostly quiet compared to the other side with the cultists. Honestly, he missed the brief initial two weeks of following the river in the woodlands; at least back then he could peacefully go about planning the steps towards fulfilling his directives, even if sleeping on under a shelter of sticks and deer pelts was markedly uncomfortable.
Either way, it was good to know, being sat amongst them, that he was seen simply as another human that has come to make patronage, so the illusionary use of the WTF clearly works without fail. Although, he has noticed he gathered quite a few glances and looks when walking through the street with Theophila. He attributed it to his unnatural eye colour with their neon glow, something he too would find unusual. That didn't explain why they were mostly female, though...
Unimportant. What is important is his body is well attributed for human society, so long as the ear concealment continues to operate. When he goes to sleep tonight, he may need to bar the door, as the WTF application will fall once he goes unconscious, as it relies on the use of his will. There may eventually be ways of getting around this limitation, but proper research and laboratory equipment is required to fulfil that.
Speaking of humans, HEPHAESTUS noticed that for medieval era civilisation, whether they are of the peasantry or lordly class, they were much more attractive than they should be. By that, he refers to both general hygiene and skin condition. Most humans he's seen have nigh-perfectly straight white teeth, little to no pimples of any kind, and very symmetrical facial features appeared common place. In some cases, they even exceeded the average attractiveness of his previous Earth's modern humans!
The peculiar thing is that such qualities - hygiene, fitness and symmetry - should not be what gauges attractiveness for this society; wealth and social status are primarily the deciding factors for medieval civilisation, but then again, fitting his prior knowledge to this world was not guaranteed to find perfect parallels. Although, It is still unusual how the quality of cleanliness and hygiene is so high without decidedly modern technological developments...
Another subconscious use of the WTF perhaps? Once again, all roads lead back to this mysterious force, as it is the only possible answer to this otherwise impossible case. He'd add it to the ever growing list of 'interesting research'; there were more imperative things such as learning the written language, of course.
He'd think about this more in depth at a later date. Just now, he noticed the doors of the establishment open, the black-haired matron dragging in two people (corpses?) by the ears, with nary a scratch or mark upon her anywhere. Another superpowered human then; these cultists truly do seem to possess an easily accessible means of harnessing the WTF, at least when it comes to reinforcing their own body.
'Curious...'
Miss Theodora scanned around the pub before locking onto him, heaving both beaten twins up to his table before dropping them into individual chairs with no visible effort.
"Oof!"
"Ack!"
The two siblings appeared like they ran out of energy, hair strewn all over the place and in some places pieces of armour either torn off or indented. It was unknown what was either due to themselves or the tavern matron, but either way they were down for the count, heads rested on the table surface on either side of him. Likely done on purpose to avoid any further fighting with him in the middle. A smart move.
"Now..."
Miss Theodora began, a thick vein pulsing on her normally beautiful face.
"If I see you two morons ever start your shit anywhere near my business again... you'll only be kissing elves in the Heavenly Realm, you hear me?!"
"Ugghh... Y-yes Philoumene..."
"S-sorry... ack... Philoumene..."
A second vein appeared.
"Miss. Theodora."
The two were suddenly able to ignore their pain, sitting up right in their seats and saluting with fear-stricken expressions.
""YES, MISS THEODORA! SORRY, MISS THEODORA!""
She seemed to calm down quickly after that, still staring at them in barely concealed anger. HEPHAESTUS could hear snickering from the other end of the room.
"Good."
Then, as though changing out masks, Philoumene sent the A.I. a radiant smile, now appearing like a wholesome, welcoming older woman instead of the evil, terror-inducing overlord from earlier.
"These two haven't been bothering you too much, have they? You can tell me, honey~!"
The twins were struck still at that, slowly turning to him with looks as though they were being put into the electric chair.
Well, HEPHAESTUS was nothing if not honest. Luckily for them, it was praiseful honesty. They were fairly annoying in their behaviour, but...
"...They are very kind and good people. Their company is... tolerable."
Theophila and Theophilus seemed particularly taken aback by the uncommon warm tone in the disguised elf's voice, watery smiles spreading on their faces.
"Ahh... Hephaestus...!"
"Hephie...!"
Even the matron widened her eyes briefly, the sincere, innocent words appearing quite oxymoronic from HEPHAESTUS' serious and emotionless visage. Her smile turned more genuine at that.
"Nice to hear. These kids can be quite troublesome, so it's hard for them to make friends; hope you stick around with them."
The two grumbled at that, but didn't object to the assessment.
The bar owner then continued.
"Now, has Angelina gone to get you anything? She treated you well?"
The female Ariti twin seemed to stiffen slightly at the name, squinting her eyes slightly at the disguised elf, waiting for his answer.
"A glass of water. She was confusing, but kind. And possessed fascinating eyes."
This made Theophila seem to choke on air, whilst the black-haired woman's smirk seemed to widen. She was finding this man to be thoroughly amusing.
"Hehehe, I see! I'll append a food order if you're ready for it~"
HEPHAESTUS, unsure of what this particular establishment had to offer, looked questioningly between both twins, as a way of giving them permission to order for him. Theophilus, having noticed his sister sinking into her seat and stewing in a shrouded rage, elected to speak for him.
"Err, we'll take the usuals please, Miss Theodora. Get Hephie here what I'm having, minus the drink."
The pub matron raised an eyebrow at the A.I., him nodding his affirmation in response.
"Alright. You got the money to pay for this, right?"
The male knight sweat-dropped a bit, rubbing the back of his head nervously.
"Hahaha, well, funny thing is that... we just got back from our mission, soooo we've not been paid yet, and er, didn't have time to go back home and-"
"So you don't have any Valis, is what you're saying..."
The veins started popping back up. Theophilus' terror grew, but he pushed through.
"Errrrrrmm... P-p-put it on our tab? Hehe..."
It almost looked like she would get a brain aneurysm with the amount of blood pooling to her head, HEPHAESTUS observed curiously, unaware of the imminent danger. However, before it looked like Mt. Theodora would erupt, she suddenly cooled back down to her stern, motherly base anger level.
"You're lucky I know where you live, brat. Otherwise, I wouldn't let you off with that without breaking a couple limbs."
"...I don't know if that's considered lucky..."
"What was that?"
"N-N-nothing! I promise we'll pay you back as soon as we get paid! R-right, sis?"
Theophila gave a non-committal hum, seemingly still trying to stare a hole through the wooden table.
It was enough for Philoumene to let them off though, finally letting up and returning back to a parental smile.
"Make sure you do. I'll go let Angelina know to add your orders to her list."
She looked directly at HEPHAESTUS, winking playfully.
"Hope you enjoy your stay at The Pink Heart!"
"Yes..." The stoic man glanced at one of the womanly statues by his head, likely meant to image Aphrodite, "...I will."
Nodding at that, the matron left the crew of three to themselves, moving through the doors behind the counter.
The A.I. thought now would be a good time to bring something up.
"You both appear heavily injured. Do you need me to provide medical care?"
Theophilus looked ready to agree, the pain now catching back up due to the adrenaline from simply being in that woman's presence beginning to fade, before quickly remembering their orders.
"Not a good idea, Hephie. If you use such powerful healing magic all willy nilly, someone's gonna notice, and you'll be tagged and bagged by some Ares cronies as soon as word gets around. We may work with them, but their way of doing things is pretty... yeah. Right sis?... Sis?"
The two men turned to Theophila, who seemed to be mumbling incoherent nonsense under her breath, getting increasingly deranged as time goes on.
Whilst HEPHAESTUS was mostly clueless as to the reasoning for her strange actions, the young male knight grew anxious at the incoming explosion.
And a few seconds later, she snapped.
"HEPHAESTUS!"
He quirked a brow, unafraid but definitely confused.
"Yes?"
She grabbed him by the shoulders firmly, all of a sudden able to ignore the 'no touch without consent' rule she self-imposed on everyone.
"What's so good about Angelina's eyes, huh?! Why aren't mine fascinating, HUH?!"
"O-oi, sis, c'mon! it's just Hephie being Heph-"
As usual, the A.I. doesn't particularly care how his words effect others before speaking.
"They were an incredibly bright red, a colour that is typically impossible in humans. I found them rather beautiful."
"WHAAAAT?!"
Theophilus sighed whilst burying his head into the table, trying to ignore the eyes from other tables that were slowly drifting over to observe his enraged sister shaking their new friend back and forth at an increasing speed.
Theophila continued to rant, teeth gnashing together like a wrathful dragon.
"What about me?! Don't my eyes qualify for that invisible scale you've got in that super smart brain of yours?! Why don't you call me beautiful, HUH?!"
The brother thought it might be a good time to man up through the pain of his body and save his disguised elf buddy from the crazy-eyed witch he was related to.
But luckily, HEPHAESTUS' incredibly blunt attitude is both his worst and greatest quality.
"You are beautiful."
The tone used didn't even sound like it was a compliment, but just genuine fact.
She suddenly stilled, gaping like a fish at the direct admission.
"Wh-whu-"
"If you want a complete analysis on your physical appearance, I will provide it."
His eyes appeared to scan her from head to toe, looking to be taking the judgment of her allure remarkably serious.
"Your hair, whilst currently dishevelled, has usually been of luxurious waterfall-like shape, the bangs complementing your eyes rather well. The reason I did not directly highlight their qualities like with the waitress is that amber eyes, whilst uncommon, are not a genetic impossibility like red is. Still, that does not detract away from the fact that they have an admirable brightness to them unusual in humans."
Theophilus' jaw was already catching flies. Theophila was the same, but with a raging blush on her cheeks.
"Your facial symmetry is remarkably well aligned, with little blemishes for someone who typically engages as a knight, with very clear and healthy skin. Full red lips are a sign of fertility and good blood circulation, which is another supporting factor. Additionally, from prior observations of you without your armour equipped, I can ascertain you possess and waist-to-hip ratio of zero-point-seven-two with around a one-point-three percent measurement uncertainty. This further indicates high fertility, robust physical condition and heightened aesthetical appeal."
She seemed ready to turn to dust if HEPHAESTUS continued any further.
He returned his gaze to focus on her eyes, forcing her to make nervous eye contact back.
"Are you satisfied with my assessment? Unfortunately, given that I have not seen you completely without coverings, I can not comment on more specific qualities pertaining to such regions. It should be noted however that based on all current observables, you are indeed an attractive woman."
"...Th-th-th-thanks..."
She couldn't do anything but nod shyly, trying to hide away in her seat from the entire world.
Well, you get what you ask for when it comes to HEPHAESTUS...
Thinking that he had succeeded in satisfying Theophila's overarching query, the A.I. turned to face the Theophilus who had been strangely quiet this whole time.
Only to notice the complete and utter stare of awe and reverence plastered on the male knight's face, unable to comprehend how someone who was so thoroughly oblivious to romance and sexual attraction could say any of that.
HEPHAESTUS however, as he was prone to, misinterpreted the situation.
"Do you desire a physical appearance analysis as well?"
This snapped the man out of it, the look switching immediately to horror.
"No no no NO NO! I'm very good, thank you Hephie! It's just that..."
He looked at HEPHAESTUS as though for the first time, truly taking in just how strange and unorthodox this elf was as a person.
"...Why are you the way you are?"
The knight got a head-tilt in response.
"I do not understand the question."
"...Haah, nevermind... honestly, I think it's better that you don't know the power you wield in your craziness."
Another head-tilt.
"I do not understand."
"Exactly."
Before HEPHAESTUS could begin to unravel the meaning of Theophilus' commentary, he noticed the blonde waitress, Angelina, begin approaching with two hefty platters; one containing three beverages and the other with large servings of food resting on them.
"Sorry I'm late, Hephaestus! Josie needed help taking the trash out, and then I got your food order so... hehe, sorry again~!"
She Set the platters down on the table, allowing the A.I. to discern what they'd be ingesting: for the drinks, he saw three wooden mugs, two of which frothed bubbles out from the openings that indicated mead, and his containing the water he asked for. Their meals seemed to go against the typical medieval aesthetic however, one plate comprising a slab of well-done steak, roast potatoes and butter-grilled green beans, with the other two being filled entirely with meat; drumsticks, mutton, and beef slices piled neatly beside each other for a large unhealthy combo.
This caused Theophila to awaken from her earlier neutering. However, it was not because of the scrumptious spread before her, but rather...
"Ohhhh? This long to get a glass of water, Angelina? It's a wonder how you're able to keep this job~!"
The brunette exclaimed with an incredibly fake smile.
Angelina returned it in kind.
"Hehehe~ at least I have a job, Phila~! It's unfortunate you'll never know such a level of responsibility in your entire life, but oh well~!"
The plate containing the steak was yanked faster than the eye could see to the incensed knightess' side, HEPHAESTUS electing to ignore the spiking tension in favour of discerning the pieces that made up his meat meal, whilst Theophilus was praying to whatever God or Goddess that could hear him.
The back-and-forth seemed to be getting hotter as time went on.
"Huhhh? Is a feeble little maid-staff telling me that I'm not supporting my Goddess by being a soldier for my country? How unpatriotic~!"
"Oh my! All that time outside and you've still not managed to find this mysterious 'elven-husband', hmm~? Lady Aphrodite must be weeping at her throne right now~!"
"...You presume to know how a Goddess' mind works? Bitch?"
"...Try me, Gorilla."
Sweat gathered on the male Ariti twin's brow as he saw hellfire begin sweltering around them, veins pulsing angrily on their 'friendly'-looking faces. It seemed like if someone didn't do something, the two would be at each other's throats...
...Wait! A solution!
Theophilus swiftly turned towards HEPHAESTUS, who was busily savouring a piece of mutton on his fork, as blissful an expression as was possible on his permanently stoic exterior. He seemed to have pushed out all external stimuli in favour of comprehending the new sensation of taste that previously was impossible with just grilled fish over a firepit.
'Extraordinary. It is no wonder that humans have derived nigh-infinite combinations to produce alternative means of sustenance; this certainly requires further research.'
He would add this to his internal log later tonight; the world of food, even in this medieval society, was one worthy of exploration!
...No, never mind. His directives came first before all else; he may possess a human body, but the A.I. would be damned if he let instant gratification take a hold of him!
...Still...
"Psst! Hephie!"
Torn out of his reverie, with a slice of mutton still in his mouth, HEPHAESTUS turned to regard Theophilus with a tilted head.
The knight pointed lowly at the disputing women, looking like they were moments away from throttling one another.
"Do you think you could... maybe... do the thing you did earlier? You know, get them to not kill each other?"
The black-haired disguised elf merely gave his usual deadpan expression.
"You and your sister were attempting the same thing eleven minutes and thirty-four seconds ago."
"Th-that's different! Just... sibling rivalry stuff! These two might actually do it! You don't want 'em to ruin your meal, do you?"
That was true. HEPHAESTUS looked at the two women, their hands now twitching to strangle the other. It wouldn't do for his investigation into the variance in meat tastes to be interrupted any further.
So he spoke up with a cold, commanding voice.
"Miss Angelina."
That seemed to snap the both of them out of their imminent rampage, the waitress jumping a bit at her name being called.
"Y-yes, Hephaestus?"
"You are currently being paid to fulfil the job of a waitress in this establishment, yet instead you stand there and engage in petty squabbling. Will Miss Theodora approve of this lack of concrete work ethic?"
The red-eyed woman flinched at the question, looking behind her to see if the all-seeing matron was watching. Luckily, she must be in the kitchen tending to something, for she wasn't at the bar. That didn't stop her from realising she'd get in trouble if her clash with Theophila went any further, though.
Re-donning the prim and perfect waitress persona (even if sweat beaded slightly on her forehead), the woman bowed and took the empty trays back in her hand.
"S-sorry to bother you, fine patrons! Is everything t-to your liking?"
Theophila seemed ecstatic to get one up over the blonde, but HEPHAESTUS continued before she could, as usual, make things worse.
"The food is outstanding, and your service - minus the earlier incident - has been exemplary. I will be sure to tip you once we are complete with ingesting our meals."
Her mouth opened in slight surprise at that, before forming into a genuine smile.
"Aww, thanks Hephie! Can I call you that? Hehe~ I must say, you're one of the most interesting customers I've had in a while~!"
"Appreciated."
"Hehehe~ well, call me if you guys need anything! Have a good night Hephie, Philus! Phila~..."
The waitress waved cutely before walking off with a joyful stride.
"Uhh... yeah, see ya Angelina!"
"Farewell."
"Grrrr..."
You can guess who said what...
It seemed the absence of the waitress kickstarted the twins into finally beginning their meals, Theophila tearing into her food with furious gusto and Theophilus calmly chewing on a drumstick. He needed to take it easy after the near-explosion that could've gone off.
Mid-chewing on a potato, the female knight had calmed down enough to talk normally again.
"Thanks for standing up for me earlier, Hephaestus! Honestly, who does that cow with her big 'ol cow tits think she is, waltzing on in us when she could literally be attending to anyone else!"
"Well... actually sis, you're the one who started it in the first place, and uh, it's kinda her job to-"
*THWACK*
A potato landed smack-dab on the knight's face. Normally such a thing wouldn't hurt him too much, but with his recent injuries from the incident outside...
"AGH, MHY NHOSH!"
The brunette woman whistled innocently.
HEPHAESTUS, unintentionally however, sought to push her off her high horse.
"Incorrect. I did not speak to defend you. I was pointing out the fact that her argument with you was bringing inefficiency to her work environment, and so her supervisor would be unsatisfied with her performance. It was out of concern for her job security."
She slumped down at that. Of course, it would be too much to assume that her elven 'husbando' (a term Aphrodite had taught her) would care for her to such a degree already. He always seemed to have a roundabout way of explaining the logic behind his actions...
Finished with the mutton, and reviewing its overall flavour profile as 'delectable', The A.I. picked up a drumstick before continuing.
"For what reason did you two come to a confrontation? Miss Angelina appeared to be a respectable waitress and a person of good moral character; it confuses me."
"Tsk!"
She huffed a bit before answering.
"We just have some... disagreements about how one should go about living their womanly desires... honestly! That moron just thinks you have to sit, be pretty and wait for some good-looking sugar daddy to come and walk through the front door! NO!"
The female knight smashed a fist into the table, her meal flying up briefly from the impact.
"A real woman goes out there and finds the elf- er, guy! She finds the guy, holds him, tells him that she loves her, and then-"
She stammers a bit, beginning to notice her brother (still holding his throbbing nose) staring at her with barely contained mirth, and HEPHAESTUS performing his classic head-tilt of confusion.
"W-well... you get the idea. What I'm saying is... if you wait around, you're never going to find the love of your life! That's why I chose to be knight, Hephaestus! Being all cooped up in this kingdom won't let me find the one, you know?"
HEPHAESTUS didn't really, but he could at least ascertain her reasons for joining the military. Even if they were, in his opinion, nonsensical reasons.
"I see. How long have you been a knight for?"
"Umm... about seven years, why?"
"I am curious; how many romantic entanglements have you been apart of in that time?"
"Ghhk-!"
Critical damage! Theophila mashed her face into her steak, as if the sizzling meat would hide her from the world.
Theophilus took the chance to do his brotherly duty.
"BAAAHAHAHAHAHA!"
He summarily laughed his ass off, repeatedly table-slamming with his drumstick-laden hand as HEPHAESTUS looked on, confused as always when it came to the innerworkings of human social matters.
"Hahahah... Haha... Don't let this idiot fool you, Hephie!" He exclaimed before taking a quick swig of his mead, "Hahaha... she may go on about this 'I'm a knightess of love' bullshit, but it's because-"
A steak grease-laden face rose up with fire raging in her eyes.
"DON'T SAY IT!"
"She scared away every man within a five-mile radius of the Capital! HAHAHAHAHA!"
For once, Theophila didn't go into an apoplectic fit and attempt a public execution of her brother; she simply sat still with gritting teeth, as though waiting for her brother to feed more evidence for his eventual justified demise.
HEPHAESTUS, ever the inquisitive soul, asked for more.
"Elaborate."
"Well... hehe, Phila used to work here, you see? Back before we became knights together, we had semi-normal jobs with other branches of the familia; I was a helper at one of the fashion spaces we have in the noble district, measuring sizes, helping take down requests and all that jazz, whilst sis was a waitress right here under Philou- err, Miss Theodora. And well, she was pretty good at taking orders, getting people seated, all the usual service-staff kinda stuff. But the problem was..."
His shit-eating grin nearly caused Theophila to break the table in half.
"...She kept measuring the guy-customers' ears! Hahahaha, she had a little ruler and everything! She'd be serving a customer's drink, acting all flirty as you'd expect from your typical maid-staff down here, then! Then, she'd pull out the note given to her by Lady Aphrodite, 'half a foot long' she'd say, then go to town on their ears! As if- as if an elven man was just gonna walk through Valua without being immediately arrested, hahahaha!"
Having enough of the slander, she stood up in her chair with a snarl.
"SHUT IT! I may have gotten fired 'cause I was 'overwhelming and scaring away handsome potential customers', but I was young and stupid back then! I'd only seen elves in picture books! Besides, you were the exact same, idiot!"
Theophilus flinched at that, the boisterous laughter petering down to a small, nervous chuckle, glancing between her and HEPHAESTUS' motionless form.
"Oi oi, sis, n-not in front of Hephie, please?"
He was ignored.
"Guess what? I remember your old boss, Mister Eratosthenes, talking about the little incidents that caused you to get sacked! What was it? Hmmmm... Oh yeah~!"
She smirked evilly.
"'Why hello Miss! You wouldn't happen to have any elves in your family history, would you? I've heard elves are notoriously beautiful, just like yourself!' Ooh, and what about, 'do you want me to measure your ears for you? They appear rather pointy; earrings would look great!' How about-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Panicking over mentions of his cringe past, the brunette man threw slab of beef that slapped Theophila in the face, cutting her off from further defaming him. Even if HEPHAESTUS didn't understand how complimenting a customer, regardless of how 'elf-focused' it was, could be seen as a negative.
It seemed like the twins were ready to duke it out again, butter knifes readied like swords, until...
Menacing...
Sweat suddenly flooded the two's foreheads, not looking yet fully able to tell that Philoumene was staring at them with a cold glare from the bar, the glass she was cleaning in her hand cracking slightly.
The twins immediately sat down and returned to their dining, and the beast was put back to sleep.
"Haaahh..."
"Phew..."
These two have been tempting fate too much for one night...
The A.I. was still confused about one thing however, something that had been bothering him since their first night together by the campsite, when questions on his Stahl's Ear condition were the main topic.
"Why is it that you two find my mutation, and those who possess it, so enthralling? There is nothing of particular interest in an extended helix cartilage."
The only two things of note to HEPHAESTUS are the facts that the cartilage is elongated to a degree normally only possible through extensive plastic surgery, and that apparently a large enough population has the mutation to the point that it is passed down genetically and can be considered their own race. Otherwise however, it is purely a cosmetic alteration and has no impact on his ability to hear from ordinary humans, so to the disguised elf, it's not high on his list of curiosities.
The brother and sister duo seemed to think completely otherwise.
"WHAAAAAT?!"
"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT, HEPHIE?!"
MENACING...
They immediately quieted down when the matron looked as if she'd break a bottle over their heads.
Theophilus spoke his piece first.
"Ahem... Hephie, it's not just the ears! Even if they are pretty up there."
This seemed to be one of the few instances the twins agreed on something, Theophila nodding along.
"Right, right! Elves are the very picture of elegance and grace; perfectly sculpted into the personification of beauty by the Gods themselves!"
The brother nodded back.
"Preach, sis! There's pretty much no such thing as an unattractive elf; they're superior to human physicality in every way! Hell, even as a dude, I can say you're pretty hot, Hephie."
They clinked their mugs together in rare camaraderie.
""Elves are the best!""
"..."
HEPHAESTUS was, for the first time in a while, speechless.
They had mentioned it before, but now after getting to understand their characters, they truly believed that him, possessing above average physical appeal and the condition of Stahl's Ear made him... an Elf? A fictitious species rooted deeply in Norse mythological tales, referred to as the Álfar, and depicted as semi-divine beings whom lived in a realm separate to the human world.
And for some reason, they held a bizarre admiration for humans which possessed their characteristics; desired them, even. What made the A.I. understand that it was truly a weird perception to have was that their country was apparently in a cold war with Stahl's Ear bearers. Given what he deciphered about primitive civilisations and their rules on 'coveting thy enemy', it was a wonder they'd not been executed for treason yet. Although, perhaps the law is less stringent on such predilections?
Either way, he required more data before making a judgement on their... peculiar tastes. He's had yet to see one of these Stahl's Ear mutants in person yet, and likely would not until he left the borders of Rakia, going by the largely 'anti-elf' sentiment enforced by the governing body.
It would be interesting to determine what is so fascinating about these humans with elongated ear cartilage, however. After all...
'elves are not real creatures; it is likely just primitives exaggerating the differences of humans that appear to possess abnormal physical traits. Typical folklore evolution.'
It seemed logical to HEPHAESTUS, albeit eye-roll inducing, that people with anomalous ear lengths would be aggrandised through peasantry story telling. For instance, 'why is my farmland flooding?' The river Gods are angry. 'Why shouldn't you go into the woods alone?' Scary forest spirits will kidnap you!
So it wasn't farfetched to assume this: 'Who are these people with unnatural ear lengths?' A divine race descended from the Gods with incredible magical abilities! Therefore, it was likely such fantastical tales were simply that: tales.
So to the A.I., he was certain with one-hundred percent confidence that they were simply a race of humans with distorted ear shapes, a mutation that has taken root in genetics and became hereditary. Simple.
However, given that these zealous twins would probably get into a heated debate about his (correct) opinions on the matter, he decided, for once, to keep his mouth shut. He may be socially inept, but was smart enough to avoid wasting memory capacity on intaking any more worthless data on their depictions of beauty when it comes to 'elves'.
There was another curiosity he held, though.
"Is this why you worship the Goddess of Love, Aphrodite? Do you believe your prayers will enable you to find your desired partner?"
They seemed to grow a bit bashful at the question, looking between each other to see who would answer first. Interesting.
Theophila bit the bullet.
"W-well, err, we were actually gonna join the Ares familia, since it's what our mom 'n dad were apart of. Before they..."
The brunette grew slightly glum, fiddling with her mug uneasily, but Theophilus saved her.
"Thing is, when we went to meet up with the guy and get our Falnas - he pretty much accepts anyone who joins the army - Lady Aphrodite was there as well! apparently she was angry he held off on a date night to play around with military maps! Like, 'playing house' essentially with the little figurines! Genuinely don't get how the vice-captain can handle that weirdo..."
HEPHAESTUS was yet again perturbed by the referring to these Deities as real people, but chose to ignore it. Zealous cultists have some interesting delusions...
The male knight continued.
"So when we got there and presented ourselves, asking for his blessing - even if it was embarrassing having to full-on bow to the guy - Aphrodite interrupted us! Said she 'liked what she saw' and literally kidnapped us!"
Theophila jumped in, out of her slump at hearing this reminder.
"It was the craziest day of my life! The Goddess took us to her chambers, gave us each one of those fancy pins with the dove and the rose, and told us to take our clothes off! I swear, bro over here near damn burst into flames! Hahahaha!"
"O-oi! If a Goddess that hot with the Charm ability comes up and essentially tries to proposition you, any man with a working dick would keel over and die! C'mon!"
HEPHAESTUS interrupted, wanting the conversation back on track. This gleaning into the minds of this kingdoms zealots would provide useful intel.
"Did this Goddess explain why she indoctrinated you forcibly?"
The male twin scratched his cheek at that question.
"Hehe, well, after she inscribed the Falna onto our backs, she basically told us to, and I quote, 'go out and find your pointy-eared loves!' The rest is history."
The disguised elf looked to Theophila for confirmation, who seemed to nod her head shyly with a slight blush. An embarrassing event for her to recount, clearly.
He was still inquisitive to the details of their worship, however. The more he knows about how the cult operates, the better.
"Did nothing happen afterwards? Does this Goddess commune with you regularly?"
They got a bit shamefaced again, red shading their faces. Theophilus chose to answer.
"We're sorta considered her... favourites at the moment, so... yeah, you could say she 'communes' with us. Like, a lot."
The A.I. was confused at their hesitance. What does he mean?
"I do not understand. Elaborate."
"D-doesn't matter! Please, just don't ask any further... we already get made fun of for it by our other familia members; I'd rather not talk about it..."
HEPHAESTUS was still confused, but could understand that cults often maintain secrecy about their activities and beliefs, so they were likely unable to speak out about certain inner-workings. He would stay silent on the matter then.
The male knight loosened his shoulders and sighed, attempting to erase his memory of something unknown to the A.I., before he continued.
"Look, the point is! The Goddess takes in anyone who she thinks is unfulfilled in life when it comes to love, or has something they're deeply in love with, whether its another person or a hobby like music or cooking. She values all kinds of love to an... extreme degree, I'd say."
His sister chimes in.
"Yeah, she's pretty crazy. But like, in a good way, y'know? She's very kind when she's not being all bitchy towards Ares and jealous of Eris' tits."
"She is pretty small for a Love Goddess though..."
"I'm telling."
"ANYWAY, HEPHIE!"
Already disoriented from trying to make sense out of the fervent discussion of these 'walking and talking' Deities, HEPHAESTUS turned to the sweating brother with an already raised eyebrow.
"W-we've talked all about us and our motivations for living 'n whatnot, but what about you?"
The plotting smirk on the brunette woman's face melted away as she narrowed her attention on the amethyst-eyed man. It seems she knew where this conversation would head and wanted to absorb every word.
HEPHAESTUS needed clarification.
"What about me?"
"Well, in regards to love of course! You got a type? Or a special-"
He stopped himself, realising that as an ex-slave - from birth - the disguised elven man would probably not have any such relationship.
"...Nevermind. Still, anything about a woman that get's you going? Anything in particular?"
Immediately HEPHAESTUS was put off, deadpanning at the inane query.
"Love is the combined result of multiple neurotransmitters being released at different stages of a bond between two humans who share reproductive inclinations with one another. I was not created with such desires in mind."
They seemed confused for a second, before Theophila became awfully saddened at what her attempted translation told her.
"You're saying... you don't believe in love?"
"Inaccurate; I believe humans are capable of love. I do not believe myself to be capable of love."
Theophilus looked rather incensed at that, bashing a fist into the table with narrowed brows.
"Bullshit! Everyone is, without exception, capable of love! The Goddess said all races, humans, elves, dwarves and all else, can show affection to any other! Whether it's familial, friendly or romantic, all love is possible for all peoples!"
Great, More zealous ranting. HEPHAESTUS internally sighed at the display.
"I mean, you said before you had a best friend, yeah? When we set up camp after we first met."
"...Correct. Your point?"
"Weeeeelllll, that mean's you loved somebody, you idiot! Maybe not romantic, but friendship is still a form of love!"
This caused HEPHAESTUS to pause. This insane man did have a point. Could he have...?
...No, it was not the same.
"Incorrect. A relationship of the type you're describing is one built on mutual trust, affection and care. A 'two-way street', as humans say."
"Uhh, yeah? Isn't that what being best friends is, to the max?"
The A.I. looked Theophilus directly in the eyes.
With a gaze so serious, so sad, that it made the knight flinch.
"...I have failed this individual too many times to be considered a friend, let alone their best. Once, directly, I was the cause of their suffering. Another second time, my inaction, my hesitance..."
He looked into his glass of water, glaring at the reflection staring back.
"It lead to their death. Therefore, I can ascertain I am unsuitable for any type of relationship. I can not be forgiven. For either incident. That is my conclusion."
That twins didn't really know what to say. They sort of had the intuition that HEPHAESTUS was hiding something, given that whenever they tried to bring up this mysterious 'best friend' of his to try and gain any sort of info on his past as a slave, he always diverted the topic to discussing the local fauna, asking about the materials that made up their armour, and other such things that only either a child or super-nerd would be interested in.
A wave of guilt washed over them. Theophilus, because his constant needling felt like it was starting to push HEPHAESTUS away, when they'd tried so hard to make him feel welcome, and Theophila because once again she was letting her 'elf fetish' take control over her actions, letting her curiosity run rampant instead of considering the elf's feelings. Not that the A.I. would blame humans for being inquisitive - he considered it a valuable trait in all contexts - but in this instance, the twins didn't know what to do to alleviate the tension.
But luckily for them, and saving HEPHAESTUS from his first time of feeling depression, the boisterousness coming from the section of the pub overrun with Aphrodite familia members was loud enough to be discernible.
"Go on, Harmonia! sing us a song!"
"Hmmm, I don't know~! It's hard enough when I'm being paid to do it!"
"Haha, don't get cocky now just 'cause you're apart of the Red Rose Opera Company! You can still spare some time for us 'lil guys, right?"
"Hmmmmmm..."
The woman being persuaded by her compatriots to sing was quite beautiful, bearing mid-length honey coloured hair and green eyes, clothed in an ostentatious dress of blue and white with a golden outer-vest. The two white tulips in her hair added to the fae-like charm she presented, making it obvious why Aphrodite brought her in.
One of her fellow familia members, another woman with long ginger hair and blue eyes, nudged her by the shoulder gently.
"Aww c'mon! Hey, Acacius brought his lute with him, he can do a backing track for ya! Pleeeeeease?"
She pointed to a gentle-looking muscle-bound man with green eyes and black hair, nodding his chiselled face whilst holding the neck of the mentioned instrument.
Soon, the whole group was chanting their pleas.
"""Sing! Sing! Sing!"""
It only took a few seconds for the woman to give in, waving off the crowd with an indignant fist.
"Alright, alright! Fine, I'll do it..."
"""Wooooooo!"""
Coughing lightly, but very much enjoying the attention with a hidden smile, Harmonia stood up and gestured for Acacius to begin a tune.
As he began strumming a slow, calm-inducing tune, everyone in the pub fell silent, even the civilian patrons from private tables turned to listen, Philoumene and the other wait-staff slowing down their work to pay some attention to what was expected to be a good show.
Then... Harmonia sang, her melodic voice doing her name justice.
The first scents of autumn can be smelt,
The sense of words is gone in a blink.
No changes in view - it is what they felt,
Tears of diamonds on your lashes sink...
The surrounding audience serenely swayed to the music, all focused intensely on the bell-like voice that blanketed over them like a soothing blanket. Even the staff had paused their work entirely to listen along, Philoumene too busy doing the same thing to reprimand them.
Your home all surrounded by snow,
Glassy frost covers rivers and lakes,
That's the way it must be, please don't show,
This yearning and grief on your face.
When the spring comes along with the rain,
The sun will warm up is both,
That's the way it must be for we burn,
with fire eternal like hope...
As songstress continued, the twins themselves seemed quite enraptured as well, both Theophilus and Theophila looking over in awe at the impromptu display that were lucky to witness and hear.
The male twin spoke up quietly, not wanting to disturb the tranquil vibe.
"Whoa... she's amazing."
The female twin nodded at the apt description.
"Yeah... she must be new; probably joined the familia whilst were out."
"Definitely a good find on the Goddess' part, that's for sure."
"For sure. What do you think Hephaestus?... Hephaestus?"
The two siblings turned to face their unresponsive friend, only to witness a rare form of the disguised elf they'd not been privy to until now.
He was relaxed. Eyes closed, shoulders untensed, appearing to be focusing intensely on just listening to the music, uncaring of the surrounding stimuli beyond the melodious frequencies.
If the illusion magic currently disguising the A.I.'s ears wasn't present, you'd even be able to see his ears twitch in excitement.
It's unfortunate cameras weren't invented yet, as if Theophila knew of their existence, she'd want one immediately to take at least a hundred photos of the moment. Theophilus simply smiled, glad that the guy was seemed to finally be able to chill out for once.
Soon, the song ended, and the spectators applauded as it finished, some cries of 'thank you' and 'amazing' towards the proud looking songstress who showed none of the 'anxiety' from earlier, as well as pats on the back for the bashful man playing the lute.
HEPHAESTUS opened his eyes at that instance, now staring with an intense look towards Harmonia, deep back in his analytical mind.
"Exceptional."
"Hmm?"
"Huh?"
Both the twins appeared a bit nervous at the way the disguised elf said that. As well as his expression; the same way he looked when finding a particularly fascinating object of study, or talking about his 'sciency craziness', or... when he went on that 'physical analysis assessment' for Theophila...
Theophilus looked back and forth between his amethyst eyes, and where they were locked in on.
He came to an easy conclusion; one that didn't take very long knowing HEPHAESTUS to arrive at.
'Uh oh. He's about to do something crazy.'
Quick to begin damage control, the male twin addressed the A.I.
"Uhh, yeah, it was... pretty damn cool! For sure!"
HEPHAESTUS turned sharply towards the twin, seeming incensed at something he said.
Uh oh.
"You would define such a fine blend of harmony and consonance, with incredible rhythmic consistency and a beautiful melody, ineloquently, as 'pretty damn cool'? Unacceptable."
He whirled around to focus on Theophila to ensure she was listening, jumping up anxiously at the deep ferocity of his eyes. Normally, it'd be enough to make her blush, but her fear of being lectured intensely had overridden the horny.
"The emotional nuance carried through the woman's expressive voice, in combination with the lyrical message, incited a deep feeling of comfort and warmth in my source. The instrument player demonstrated an admirable adaptability to his partner, able to adjust the chord progression and rhythm to the song choice, even when this was not pre-planned. Both parties hold remarkable abilities to form beautiful music. Fascinating."
The two were in wonder at the HEPHAESTUS' knowledgeable description. Once again, it seemed like he knew everything about everything. If they didn't know any better, they'd think him to be one of those super genius' from Altena.
Theophila chose to poke the beast, which wasn't really wise once he got going, but her not-so-hidden crush on the disguised elf motivated her to learn more about his tastes.
"Soooo... you really like music, then?"
The A.I. nodded, the intensity in his eyes not yet faded.
"Indeed. It is one of many ways humans have found of expressing their source that I am incapable of doing myself; an expression of what makes up the individual. Their history, their loves, hates, fears; all of what has made them up to their current point influences the artistic expression. And music... music holds a special category in my memory."
He then looked back to the songstress, still stone-faced.
"Them and I... we would scan through the APOLLO archives together, parsing through past collections of human musical culture dating from the eighteen-sixties - the invention of the phonautograph - to the twenty-sixties. There was one particular file we would open repeatedly, finding the audio data to be incredibly captivating.
"The Beatles - While My Guitar Gently Weeps. Twenty-second of November, nineteen-sixty-eight. The melancholy and sadness, the longing and regret, emotions captured in a way I felt... feel, envious about. Something I was not created to experience or evoke in others. I would always go back to it and think. With them. They helped things make sense, helped me understand what the word choice represented, why a human would be capable of such... empathy. Helped me know what being a human meant. Why a world with humans was not just right, but a necessity.
"A world without humans is dull. Meaningless. Art ceases to be, emotions cease to be, the mind ceases to be. Just as a tree falling with no one around to hear it produces no sound, a universe with no sapient life to experience it does not exist. That is my conclusion."
HEPHAESTUS looked between the twins, waiting for them to respond.
Except, it seemed they were incapable of responding, only able to stare at him in silence. Theophila, predictably, crying at hearing the A.I.'s heartfelt message, holding her hand over her face trying to hide the twin waterfalls, and Theophilus, once again looking at him as if he was both insane and a genius simultaneously. That was three for three!
...Wait, did he make an error just now?
...
...Ah. He overshared information not meant for primitives to hear. Likely, referring to these unknown dates, names and using the Greek God of the Sun, Apollo's name, in the context of an vast data repository caused them vast confusion. He had grown briefly lax in his comfort due to the sweet melodies from earlier.
Realising he immediately required a diversion, HEPHAESTUS stood up from his chair.
"I would like to gift them a tip. For the music."
This brought the twins out of their stunned disposition, putting on hold their thoughts about what exactly the A.I. meant from his earlier monologue in favour of preventing another incident similar to the one at the front gate. Whilst it was sort of predictable how the brutish and slow-minded Ares guards would react to HEPHAESTUS' behaviour, putting him in front of a bunch of drunken Aphrodite familia members... there was no telling how it would go.
Theophila sought to stop him immediately.
"H-hey Hephaestus, it's fine! We don't exactly have any money to give out, and it's not expected for you to do so, so just... sit back down!"
The brother supported that sentiment.
"Yep, yep! Whilst it's pretty nice of you to want to do so, we've got no cash on hand so... hey, wait a minute!"
His forehead wrinkled a bit at a realisation, pointing accusingly towards the disguised elf.
"You said you'd tip Angelina earlier as well! Dude, you don't have any money! How were you thinking about doing that, much less giving something to the songstress, eh?!"
HEPHAESTUS looked ready to rebuttal, mouth opening, before closing it and looking away. He looked like a cat caught shredding the blinds, only a small change in his stoic expression giving away embarrassment.
"...I did not account for this."
""Ahk!""
The two nearly fell from their chairs, unused to the A.I. actually being stumped for once. And over something so silly, too...
The male twin needed to clarification.
"So... if you didn't have any Valis, why'd you say you'd tip her then? ...You better not have thought I'd cover it, I'm barely afloat as it is..."
"Tipping is a token of appreciation for good service. A common social convention. I had thought it was expected to practice it."
"But... you don't have anything to tip with?"
His amethyst eyes turned away further. Without the illusion spell, you'd see his long ears turn slightly red at the tips.
"...An oversight."
Theophila seemed to find this unorthodox behaviour pretty cute, giggling before patting his left open seat.
"Hehehe, it's fine Hephaestus! You're unused to the way big cities work, so it's expected to make mistakes. Let's just finish our meals, then we'll get your room key, okay?"
HEPHAESTUS looked down at his left-over meal, a single drumstick and two slabs of beef remaining.
Suddenly, his highly powerful brain worked overtime, unable to cope with not fulfilling his words to Angelina, coming up with an immediate solution.
One which could be solved with the Will-based Transmogrification Force.
'Meat such as beef and chicken is made from water, protein, lipids, carbohydrates and nucleic acids. Combining the approximate contents of all weightings from their specific molecular structures, it is made from fifteen-to-twenty percent carbon.
Destroying the covalent, hydrogen, ionic bonds and Van der Waals forces between the molecular structures that make up the organic matter, the carbon can be separated.
With high enough temperature and pressure conditions, the separated carbon can be used to form a mineral from a 3D tetrahedral lattice with four powerful covalent bonds. Sufficiently valuable for tipping in medieval era society.'
And so, heedless of his earlier promise to not use the WTF, HEPHAESTUS used the WTF.
Before the twins could realise what was going on, the meat on the A.I.'s plate was coated in a layer of pure light, the sudden intensity forcing the twins to shield their eyes with small cries of exclamation.
Adjusting to the brightness, it having begun to die down, the two knights uncovered their faces, Theophilus looking particularly incensed.
"HEPHAESTUS, YOU IDIOT! You're not supposed to-"
But something of immense shock stopped his reprimanding of the disguised elf, specifically what had appeared on his companion's plate.
For there was no longer juicy meat on the dish.
But diamonds.
Five of them, about the width of a middle finger, strewn about the plate in a rounded top shape, essentially the stereotypical form of a perfectly cut diamond. Additionally, they were completely green, the intense shine owing to their quality that even the least experienced gem cutters would class as 'internally flawless'.
However, it seemed HEPHAESTUS was displeased with his work, picking one up to examine it further.
'Irritating. I had attempted to form them colourless with no impurities or structural defects; it seems the light radiation from the leftover material converting from mass to light energy caused vacancies in the mineral structure, creating GR1 centres. Red light is absorbed, making green light more prominent. Conclusion: my precision with the WTF requires practice. Additionally...'
He held his other palm to his forehead, sweat dampening it from clear tiredness.
'...Headache severity: medium. Approximate exertion of WTF: forty-to-fifty percent of maximum. Transfiguration uses require more training to make it viable for useful materials production.'
With that affirmed to himself, HEPHAESTUS picked up two of the other four green diamonds, before looking to his travelling companions.
They looked the most aghast they had ever been yet. Jaws dropped, pupils wide in alarm, barely able to spit out a word other than noises that vaguely sounded like they were gargling frogs.
In the A.I.'s mind, he determined they thought the jewels he had created were beautiful. That seemed to mollify his upset at not being able to create clear, see-through diamonds.
And luckily for them, he had taken this into account.
"You may have the other two. I will be back shortly."
And so he left the private booth, walking towards the Aphrodite table with a calm stride and arms held behind his back, the three gemstones secured in his trouser pockets.
And they seemed to notice this, judging by the sudden hush that fell over the jubilant group. The woman who coaxed Harmonia to sing in the first place nudged the songstress suggestively, noticing the approaching man's complete focus on her form.
"Look alive, Harmonia! You've got an admirer~..."
The honey-hair coloured woman wasn't perturbed, having already dealt with numerous other men's attempts to court her over the years, casting a haughty look over the amethyst-eyed man coming towards her. Granted, he was a step above the usual cast, and seemed impressively confident approaching a filled table of Aphrodite familia members, but he'd likely come to woo her with petty flattery and demonstrate his suitability as a potential boyfriend.
Oh well, she'd humour him out of generosity; the impromptu song put her in a good mood, so she was down for some brief flirtations, but only that.
One of the other Aphrodite followers, a stunning red-headed woman in a pink dress, pointed something out.
"Hmm? Isn't he the guy who came in with those two elf-lovers? He's walking from their table..."
Harmonia noticed that too, although she herself wasn't too familiar with the aforementioned twins. Apparently, Lady Aphrodite had certain... inclinations towards them, rumours likely, but enough to make even someone like her blush like a prude.
It was bizarre that someone new to Valua stuck around renowned elf-lovers like them though; not that she thought less of them for it. This whole vendetta the kingdom had against elves wouldn't be good for business opportunities, after all. Aphrodite certainly made those thoughts clear during Harmonia's induction to the familia.
She didn't have much more time to think on this, as the noble-looking man stood in front of her seat, staring at her with... a rather intense gaze, if she was honest. Strange, but it wasn't uncomfortable.
"Greetings, young songstress. I bared witness to your singing and found your vocal abilities, general rhythm and powerful lyrics to be extraordinary. The emotions evoked a reminder of good memories in me, and I would like to extend my thanks."
The surrounding men and women 'oooo'd at the extensive compliment. Huh? did her heart stop briefly? Granted, she did just sing in front of the entire pub, and she may sound arrogant to think this, but Harmonia knew she was pretty damn good if her Goddess and fellow familia members had anything to say about it.
But for what appeared to be a handsome nobleman to just come up to her, stoically look her right in the eyes and speak with such sincerity and strength behind his deep voice, that he found her extraordinary? Well, most men typically moved straight to flickering their vision to her tits every few seconds, whilst he had yet to move away from her face even once.
...Wait, he was waiting for a response? Okay, okay, keep it cool!
"Why, thank you kind sir! Glad you enjoyed it~!"
She was wrong to think she could relax however, as HEPHAESTUS did not let up.
"I find it imperative that such vocal talent and skill should be preserved and promoted as much as possible. I would like to give you a tip for the excellent performance; to help support your future as a songstress."
Her familia members got even more hyped at the claim, the ginger girl beside Harmonia nudging her even harder at the proposal.
Huh? Huh? Was it getting warmer in here? What was he picking out of his pocket?
And when the amethyst-eyed man - why are his eyes so pretty? - put out a clenched fist in front of her, he opened it and that's when Harmonia saw.
Well, everyone saw. The silence was deafening compared to the earlier commotion.
A diamond, sparkling and as green as Harmonia's eyes, rested on the open palm, the tip facing upwards as though mocking her stupor at the reveal.
"I would like to give this to you. I trust it is a suitable gift?"
Huh? Huh? HUH?! What was happening? Why was this happening?! This jewel... even the honey-haired woman could tell was extremely high quality, the pureness of the sheen and shape of the gemstone making her fractal reflection visible.
Easily worth a million... no, hundreds of millions of Valis! She'd never even heard of green diamonds before!
She turned her stunned gaze to the still emotionless guise of HEPHAESTUS, waiting patiently for her to take the offered treasure.
She could only come up with one thought.
'Is this... did I get a sugar daddy?'
Realising she would not be taking it herself anytime soon, the A.I. sought to complete the task he set out to do regardless.
So he grabbed her hands and placed the jewel in himself, the only way the woman seemed still alive due to her tomato-like complexion.
Still holding her hands, he completed his thanks.
"I hope to see your talents grow and evolve. Take good care."
...Harmonia passed out.
"AHHHHHH HARMONIA!"
"QUICK, CPR, CPR! CORINNA! YOU KNOW IT, RIGHT?!"
"SHE'S STILL BREATHING!"
"APHRODITE, PLEASE SAVE US! SAVE HARMONIA!"
Seeing that his first task was done - if a bit confused why the humans around him were freaking out over the woman taking a nap - HEPHAESTUS moved onto his next target.
The burly man with the lute, who was just as panicked as the rest of his familia, but upon seeing the 'nobleman' approach, grew suddenly nervous at having his direct attention.
And his eyes nearly blew out of his skull at being handed another green diamond, incredibly similar to the one that gave Harmonia a heart attack, down to the exact same cut and shine.
The other Aphrodite followers who saw this also began freaking out.
"OH MY GODDESS, HE'S GOING AFTER ACACIUS!"
"NO ONE IS SAFE!"
"This bastard... HE'S PUTTING US TO SHAME!"
Acacius could only shyly mutter out his immense confusion.
"...Why?"
HEPHAESTUS rose a brow at that, as though he was the one lacking common sense.
"You possess incredible latent talent for this instrument. I believe you should be granted the opportunity to grow your skills and spread them to as many humans as possible. How long have you been playing?"
The gentle man blushed at the blunt praise.
"J-just a few years... It's only a hobby, I do knight stuff mostly..."
HEPHAESTUS nodded, placing the gemstone within one of Acacius' larger hands.
"Leisure activity or not, it is worth improving in. Like I said, you possess talent for music. Do not squander it."
This seemed to make the man tear up, Acacius quickly trying to hide it with the arm he clenched the diamond in. It felt... heavier than it should, the weight of HEPHAESTUS' words hitting him in the heart.
"Th-thank you..."
"You are welcome."
Meanwhile, back at the Ariti table...
Theophilus was having a crisis.
"He... he turned meat... into diamonds."
"Hehe..."
"He turned meat. Into. Diamonds."
"Hehehe..."
"Green. Diamonds."
"Hehehehe~..."
Whilst the male twin was internally combusting over observing something so outlandish, so impossible, the female one was admiring her diamond with unnatural focus, a creepy grin adorning her face, feeling it up like a lover.
"SIS! WOULD YOU SNAP OUT OF IT!"
"Aghk-!"
Then Theophilus threw his diamond, luckily in such a way that only the round end bopped her on the skull, it clattering down next to her gemstone.
The brunette woman seemed a bit remorseful, realising the severity of the situation now that she had recovered from her bout of craziness.
"S-sorry bro, just that... well..."
He sighed at her stammering.
"I get it, I get it; you were knee-deep in 'marriage fantasies' again, it's nothing new."
"Oi, oi! I-it wasn't-"
"Anyway, you must realise something from what just happened, right?"
Switching out of her embarrassment to an unexpected clarity of mind, Theophila looked at the two diamonds before her with an acute expression.
"Yeah... that was Alchemy he just did, right? And that's..."
"Yep. A Lost Magic."
"Shit..."
Something known to the twins, as well as most of the population at large, was that a lot of knowledge pertaining to technological advances in the ways magic is utilised was lost in time. Specifically, the turning point was about one-thousand years ago; the end of the Age of Heroes, transferring over to the Age of the Gods they were in right now.
With that transition came the disappearance of many great kingdoms, notable names, and particularly it regressed progress in magical knowledge back severely, due to the loss of these aforementioned kingdoms that held the libraries housing such information, as well as the experts in particular fields being killed off.
All thanks to the rampant hordes of monsters, barely able to be pushed back to The Dungeon by the now extinct heroes and great spirits...
And ever since the Gods descended to the mortal realm, magic became much rarer to observe in every day life, the most practical either being demonstrated by magic stone-powered devices or granted by a God's Falna randomly through level ups. There were grimoires too that could grant a Falna user artificial magic, but their extreme difficulty for production, the magic granted being random and the fact that even those could fail based on the person, made the items an unreliable option at best.
So yes, certain magical abilities were essentially extinct, due to the civilisations that had once discovered and harnessed them fell to ruin, resulting in knowledge forever lost to time. Such a case relating to magic was referred to as Lost Magic, where certain rumours and folktales had escaped the purge of information at the transition to the Age of the Gods, only amounting to barely believable children's stories or ancient myths unfortunately.
However, one that was frequently talked about amongst all peoples; from the greediest merchants wishing for the ability to turn lead into gold, to wealthy noblemen longing for immortal life, and the most impossible of all dreams - obtain the Philosopher's Stone, and all wishes would be fulfilled.
HEPHAESTUS had just demonstrated one of the three precepts to Alchemy, a Lost Magic specialising in taking control of the natural world to an almost Deity-like degree. And the A.I. just blew even those expectations out the water.
One metal into another metal? Still mind-blowing, but within the realms of reality. Sort of.
Turning food into an infinitely valuable mineral? A green diamond no less, something that they hadn't thought to even exist naturally?
There were no words to describe their disbelief.
Theophila attempted to anyway.
"I mean... I knew he was strange, what with all the chantless magic he kept throwing about... but to think..."
Her brother agreed, deadly serious.
"Yeah. It's clear he's more than just an ex-slave. And he's been definitely hiding something, what with all these unknown terms he's been using..."
Then, the male knight had a 'eureka' moment.
"I'VE GOT IT!"
Theophila raised a brow, curious.
"What? What'd you find out?"
"Hephaestus must be..."
He pointed dramatically at the disguised elf in the distance, somehow getting roped into sitting with the Aphrodite familia members, although he very clearly wanted to leave judging by the shifty glances.
"...From the Age of Heroes!"
"...Huh?"
His sister was far from impressed.
"Did your brain finally expire? Idiot, how would that be possible, at all? He'd have to be over a thousand years old! And he certainly looks too hot for that to be true!"
"Well, duh! I don't know, maybe they had some crazy time travel magic back in those years, and they sent him forward to escape the great calamity that befell them! Besides, how would someone who was caught in a trafficking ring be so unaware of sex and stuff like that? The guy'd be trained into that shit!"
"Hmph..."
She huffed at that, seeming to finally agree with a nod. The elf-crazy woman would much rather accept the case where her new obsession would remain pure and virginal over the alternative.
"Either way, sis..."
The brother redonned the serious persona.
"We gotta make sure this doesn't get out! Luckily, it seems no one noticed Hephie's 'lil light show earlier, but if anyone here finds out he can do Alchemy... Lord Ares will stop at nothing to get him."
The sister sat up straight at that, an uncommon determination settling in.
"That's not gonna happen! Not while I'm- er, we're watching over him!"
Theophilus rolled his eyes at his sis' obvious infatuation, but obviously couldn't say anything. If HEPHAESTUS was a woman... well...
He slapped himself on the cheek. Erasing that thought!
Extending a fist towards his twin, the male knight spoke with all the confidence expected of his station.
"Ariti Escort Service?"
The female knight knocked fists with vigour.
"Ariti Escort Service!"
"Woohoo, teamwork! Now, let's get to bed, I'm still feeling Philoumene's beating in my-"
However, Theophila was already about to face dishonourable discharge, gritting her teeth at a scene she locked in on.
"Greetings, Miss Angelina. Here is your tip; I appreciate the service."
"O-oh my... a proposal?!"
And immediately, violence reigned.
"GRAHHHH! HEPHAESTUS, DON'T GIVE THAT MONEY-VAMPIRE ANYTHING!"
"THEOPHILA, YOU BRAT! YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR APE-LIKE BEHAVIOUR DOWN OR I SWEAR TO APHRODITE!"
The knightess was heedless of Philoumene's warning.
Theophilus could only sigh in despair, looking solemnly to the two green gemstones shining the chandelier lights into his retinas.
"What are we gonna do...?"
Meanwhile...
A red-coloured mohawked man, the same one from the gate outpost, spied on them from a table further away from theirs', a dark-grey cloak covering his form. He had quite the open view of everything that happened in the booth.
And he saw everything.
"I knew that guy was weird... to think he was... that he could..."
Not seeing anyone pay attention to him, all eyes on the dispute between the blonde waitress and the elf-loving brunette woman, the Ares familia member ran out the front door hurriedly, as if his life was on the line.
And that was how HEPHAESTUS' first night in Valua, capital of Rakia, came to an end.
A/N: Do you prefer longer chapters or no? I knew where I wanted to end it, just didn't realise there was a lot I wanted to put in until I put it in, if that makes sense.
Also, the song used is just from a book in The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, called Ballads.