Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

Elena, superstar actress and one of Pokestar Studio's finest, was enjoying a night in with her fiance.

Said fiance was her longtime partner, costar, and childhood friend, Lola the Lopunny.

There were some in the press and in the industry - quite a few, really - who derided her for getting together with and publicly declaring her intent to marry her Pokemon.

The hypocrites. Like most of them wouldn't do a Gardevoir if given the chance - and who could blame them, really?

(Some of them were, in fact, and not always consensually. Elena relished the looks on their faces when she barged in on their illicit actions, exposed them to the world, and let Lola beat the shit out of them. She had quite the collection of pictures on the wall to memorialize her triumphs.)

She was used to people trying to tear her down for one reason or another. Other actresses, some she'd once idolized, envious of her success and popularity, greater than they'd ever had. Male actors of high standing who got pissed when she dared to refuse their advances or play along when they got a little too 'into character' on set until the executives finally got it into their heads that she was so lesbian she bled orange pink and white and stopped pairing her with men in films. Journalists who were frustrated that she had no real vices to exploit and how easily she was able to refute all their attempts to make some up or owned the ones she had. Parents who were displeased by the 'values' she promoted in her films. Stalkers who felt entitled to a piece of her. Writers who tried to kill her in elaborate deathtraps because they were furious at how she'd lampooned their favorite serial killers in her movies-

Okay, that last one had only happened a couple times, but still.

A brief aside for clarification. Elena's most famous role is the star of a long-running series of films called 'Final Girl for Hire,' where, after surviving a standard slasher film plot, Elena's character vows to prevent others from going through the hell she did, and with the help of her Lopunny partner and team of lovable side characters, seeks out and inserts herself into scenarios based off of classic slasher/supernatural serial killer movies, rescues as many people as she can, and takes down the killer, who often dies in their own sadistic deathtraps.

They were a huge hit.

Some of the writers whose OP diabolical masterminds and killers were being bested in the films, however, weren't very happy about it, and a few had even tried putting Ellen in a real-life slasher film scenario to show her how impossible her character's feats were against their uber-powerful murderers and trapmakers. Considering Elena is still alive, it should be obvious how well that went.

"So, what do you feel like for tonight?" Elena called from her place vegetating on the couch, playing video games as her darling bun-bun made dinner. "Game tournament? Movie marathon? Binge-watching? I think a new season of that one show we like just dropped..."

There was a cry from the kitchen.

"Well yes, of course it'll end in bed, but, you know, how're we gonna get there-"

There was a knock on the door.

Elena froze. She hadn't been expecting anyone that night, and after the last few dozen attempts by stalkers to break in or vengeful writers or actors trying to murder her for some perceived slight, she was EXTREMELY wary of unexpected visitors.

Lola poked her head out of the kitchen, wielding a frying pan in one paw and a steak knife in the other. Holding a finger to her lips, Elena quietly walked past the wall full of poster from her hits and her trophy cabinet, grabbing the one she knew from experience was best at bludgeoning someone. She pressed the button on the security panel beside the door and saw that Unovan Champion and fellow star actress Rosa was standing outside her door, looking miserable and angry. She'd clearly been crying a lot.

Elena's compassion for a fellow (definitely closeted) lesbian warred with her understandable caution. Pressing the button on the intercom, she said, "Rosa? What are you doing here?"

Rosa looked startled. "You can see - that's not important. I need to talk to you."

"About what?" Elena asked, glancing at Lola, who was poised to spring at the door and cave in Rosa's chest at a moment's notice.

"Look, can you just let me in-"

"Not until you give me a reason why-"

"My boyfriend broke up with me and it's your fault!" Rosa blurted.

Elena blinked, taking her hand off the button and glancing at Lola, who shrugged. "Well, I guess it was going to happen sooner or later."

"If I let you in, will you try to attack me?" Elena asked, turning on the mike again.

"No!" Rosa insisted, affronted.

Well, naturally she'd say that, but Elena supposed it was good enough. Hiding the trophy behind her back just in case, she disengaged the locks and let Rosa in, putting an arm around her shoulder and leading her to the couch as she palmed the trophy off to Lola, who put it back when Rosa wasn't looking. "Now, what do you mean it's my fault?" she asked gently.

"He saw our movie! The one we costarred in!" Rosa snapped irritably. "And after watching it, he realized...h-he said he realized that he had no chance with me, because I was OBVIOUSLY gay since I'd never kissed him nearly as hard as I kissed you!"

"Mmhmm," Elena nodded, knowing full aware he was right.

"A-and I told him I'd just been ACTING, and he said there was nothing heterosexual about what I did in that film!" Rosa yelled. "S-so, you're going to call him up and tell him he's wrong, that I AM straight, and-"

"Rosa," Elena interjected.

"What?" Rosa snapped.

"You're gay."

"Wha - no I'm not-"

"You're gay."

"That's-"

"You're gay-"

"Stop saying-"

"You. Are. Gay. Isn't that right, Lola?"

Lola nodded.

"See, even she can tell, and she's got terrible gaydar," Elena said.

Lola scowled.

"But...but I...but I can't be-" Rosa stammered, worn down by Elena's flawless arguments.

"You've given extremely detailed descriptions of how beautiful the other Champions are and how big Gloria's muscles are," Elena said.

"Everyone does that!" Rosa insisted.

"And how many of them are straight?"

"Lyra!" Rosa insisted proudly, causing Elena and Lola to burst into laughter, to her frustration.

"Rosa. Imagine that you're lead actress in yet another retelling of the S.S. Anne," Elena said. "You're on a piece of debris and there's only room for one other person whom you'll need to cuddle with in close proximity to survive the cold night. Do you pick the character played by Fabio, or by Diantha?"

"Diantha," Rosa said immediately. "Wait. SHIT. I AM...wait, hang on, how do you know I'm not bi-"

"None of you have clothes on," Elena added.

Rosa turned very red and facepalmed. "I'm gay."

"Yes."

"I'm gay and attracted to Gloria. And the other Champions."

"I know," Elena said, holding her as she processed this.

"AND to you," Rosa moaned.

Elena nodded. "I know."

Rosa sighed. "It was never going to work out with Curtis, was it?"

"No," Elena said, Lola nodded in agreement.

Rosa slumped against the couch. "So what happens now?"

Elena glanced at Lola, who sighed and went back into the kitchen to make extra. "Wanna spend the night?"

Rosa paused. "...Are you propositioning me?"

"Only if you want to," Elena said.

"I...no, I think I'll just sleep on the couch, if that's okay," Rosa said. "I just got broken up with, I don't think I'm ready for something else right now."

They got engaged the next day.