Baker Morty, Cash Morty, Smooth Morty, Beachy Morty, Casino Tycoon Morty, Psychic Morty, Bling Bling Morty, Cool Morty, and Five Star Morty, were at Cash Morty's house having a groomsmen celebration because Cash Morty didn't like the meaning behind a bachelor party. It had been a couple of months since the beachy proposal and Cash Morty was always having some kind of celebration. Honestly it was starting to get exhausting. He felt like he was rarely at home anymore, he was either at work or at one of Cash Morty's parties. He rarely got to spend time with his buddies he had made on the Citadel. He tried to remind himself that the wedding would soon come and go and things would return to normal. They were currently outside hanging out in the pool and grill area. It was now mid spring where Cash Morty lived so the weather was pleasant but not yet blistering hot. Richard had prepared a whole buffet of food and they were enjoying mocktails.
"I still can't believe that you are getting married" Bling Bling Morty said as he sipped his Not So Long Island Iced Tea.
"He won't be married for long, it's only a matter of time before he royally screws this up and is divorced" Cool Morty joked. He swirled his sparkling grape juice around in the glass before taking a swig.
"Excuse me, I'll have you know that I'm going to be the best husband in the history of husbands, but for real tho, you married fellas got any advice for a newbie?" Cash Morty asked.
"Never stop communicating, heck, over communicate, lack of communication is the killer of most marriages" Casino Tycoon Morty said.
"Give each other lots of grace, for instance, the other night I was late for a nice dinner my wife had planned for us, she could have just gotten really mad at me for being late, instead she gave me grace and tried to understand why I was late instead of just getting angry, it's one if the many reasons why I love her so much" Beachy Morty said.
Baker Morty smiled. After years of being around his mom and dad's toxic marriage it was nice to see and hear about married couples who genuinely loved each other.
"Remember to always foster the intimacy, and remember that intimacy isn't just sex, it's also holding hands, cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, holding and comforting each other when one of you is sad, taking care of each other when one of you is sick, those are also forms of intimacy and it's how you grow and nurture your bond" Smooth Morty said.
"Remember whether you're a newly wed or you've been married for decades, your marriage will never get old and your bond will never fade as long as you keep putting in the effort to keep it strong" Beachy Morty said.
"I-I may not be a marriage expert seeing as I-I've never been married, but growing up around a toxic marriage has given me a pretty good idea on what not to do, always be respectful of each other, my parents w-were so disrespectful to each other and they wonder why they despised each other so much" Baker Morty said. All the married Morties nodded in agreement.
"That's exactly right Baker Morty, never ever disrespect each other, it is never ok to cuss or yell at each other, no matter how angry you are at each other never be disrespectful because then you begin to resent each other" Beachy Morty said.
"That's when you get the toxic screaming matches that tear couples and even families apart, as in any marriage me and Gala have had some disagreements, but we never raise our voices at each other and we certainly never cuss at each other, if you feel yourself getting angry in an argument, it is better to end it and go cool off and revisit it once you've calmed down than to say something you regret out of anger" Casino Tycoon Morty added.
"Always always apologize, I think us men especially need the reminder to swallow our pride and say we're sorry" Beachy Morty said.
"And remember Cash Morty, that means apologizing even you aren't necessarily wrong, if you hurt your wife, you need to apologize regardless of rather you think whatever was said or done was hurtful or not, you don't get to decide for her what is and isn't hurtful" Smooth Morty said.
"Ok, what if I get on my knees and say baby I'm sorry, and then buy her all the chocolates and flowers there are?" Cash Morty asked.
"Hehe, that could work, but you can't throw money at all your problems, just say you're sorry, save the flowers and chocolates for dates, anniversaries, gifts, or if you really really really mess up" Smooth Morty chuckled.
Baker Morty was taking notes, he hoped to be married someday and the Morties were offering really good advice. He vowed that his marriage will never end up like his parents' marriage. Five Star Morty opened his mouth to speak.
"You don't have a stake in this" Cash Morty cut him off.
"Hey, I'm technically still married, me and my wife are separated but we never legally divorced" Five Star Morty said.
"Yea, but you are the worst husband ever, you literally used and abused your wife's love for you to gain control of her father's resort" Cash Morty narrowed his eyes at him.
I wonder how the dress shopping is going" Cash Morty said.
"Oh, s-she's dress shopping today?" Baker Morty asked.
"Yep, she's dress shopping with her bridal party, I got her an appointment at Platinum Bridal, it has the most talented designer in the galaxy, she makes the best bridal gowns in the whole galaxy, normally it is really hard to get an appointment with her, but when you've got the cash to flash you get in a lot easier" Cash Morty said.
"Platinum Bridal? How in the world is she going to afford shopping at that place? Does she have a lot of money too?" Cool Morty asked.
"I gave her my diamond bank card and told her to buy whatever she wanted" Cash Morty said.
"Where are you going on the honeymoon?" Psychic Morty asked.
"We are going to Golden Island, it's a private beachfront bungalow, that way we can have privacy to have sex wherever we want, in the bungalow, on the beach, heck even in the water" Cash Morty gave a mischievous smile. Baker Morty blushed. He knew that was a part of marriage but did Cash Morty have to be so blunt.
"You already have some plans huh bro?" Smooth Morty elbow jabbed him.
"Oh you know I do" Cash Morty winked.
"Yea right, you're still a virgin, you will have no idea what you are doing, you are going to get to the bungalow and be like, I-I-I-I-I-I because you have no idea what to do" Cool Morty gave a sly smile. The other Morties save Baker Morty erupted into laughter.
"Whatever man, when we get there and the mood strikes it's going to be on and popping" Cash Morty clapped his hands together for emphasis.
"Me and Clairabelle's secret to a happy marriage is laughter, this may be tmi, but when we went on our honeymoon and had sex for the first time, obviously neither one of us had any idea what we were doing so it was rather cringy and awkward, we just laughed with each other and somehow it still turned out to be a rather romantic night, there is almost nothing better than the both of you laughing together in a tough situation" Psychic Morty said.
"Cheers to that" Casino Tycoon Morty raised his glass of Less Bloody Mary. All the Morties clinked their glasses together before taking a drink.
"Shouldn't you be shopping for your tuxedo?" Smooth Morty asked.
"Are you kidding, I already paid Tailor Morty a visit and have already bought my tuxedo, here, let me show you" Cash Morty said as he led them to his bedroom and into his huge walk-in closet.
"Rosie wants a white and gold themed wedding to honor both of our favorite colors, so I picked this one" Cash Morty said.
On a clothing rack was a white tuxedo with a gold vest, bowtie, buttons, and cufflinks. The jacket of the tuxedo had gold floral designs. He had some white leather loafers, with gold buckles on them.
"What do you think? Pretty fresh huh?" Cash Morty asked.
"W-wow, it looks really nice" Baker Morty was impressed. Cash Morty sure knew how to dress to impress.
"Hard to believe that in a few short months you'll be getting married" Smooth Morty said.
"Yea I know…..honestly I feel so nervous….is that bad? Am I… getting cold feet?" Cash Morty sat on the round velvet tufted ottoman and heaved a sigh. Smooth Morty sat next to him and put his arm around him.
"Brother trust me, it is very normal to feel this way, you think you are nervous now, just wait until your wedding day, you might even feel like changing your mind, your life is about to completely change it's bound to come with some nerves and stress, it doesn't mean you don't love her, remember, I cried so much before my wedding, you had to keep consoling me and reminding me why I wanted to marry Catalina in the first place?" Smooth Morty told him.
"Yea, hehe, I do remember that" Cash Morty gave a small chuckle.
"Take it from us married Morties, it is normal to feel anxious, you really don't know what to expect going into marriage, we can give you all the advice we have, but at the end of the day it's your marriage, and you two have to figure out what does and doesn't work for you" Beachy Morty said.
"It is often assumed that the honeymoon and newlywed stage is the best part of your marriage right? It's all lovey dovey and fresh and new, that's completely false, the early stages of your marriage are the hardest, you are still learning how to be a husband or wife, you are still figuring out how to be married, and trust me it comes with lots of butting heads, the longer you are married and the more you learn each other and how to coexist with each other the better and easier it gets" Psychic Morty added.
"And remember everything waxes and wanes, there are going to be highs and lows, but that doesn't mean something is wrong with your marriage, it's natural for things to change occasionally" Smooth Morty said.
"At the lowest point, it always helps to go back to basics, remember why you fell in love with each other, remember why you got married in the first place" Casino Tycoon Morty.
"Thank you guys, I promise I won't be all deep this whole celebration, come on let's have fun now" Cash Morty said.
They moved to the game room, they were throwing darts and playing pool. Baker Morty was playing pool with Cool Morty, he was afraid to throw darts. One time he and his family went to a game room for his sister Summer's thirteenth birthday party. He nearly took his eye out with one of those darts. And when he tried again he completely missed the board and hit and popped one of her confetti filled balloons. Which showered confetti all over her pink Hanny Montanny cake ruining it. None of the guests were able to have cake, Summer was furious. He spent the drive home apologizing profusely and begging for Summer's forgiveness for ruining her party. Summer was angry with him and didn't speak to him for two weeks. And when his birthday rolled around she smashed his face into his Arachnid Guy cake so hard the table collapsed. He chuckled at that memory. He'd best stay away from the darts.
Baker Morty was solids and Cool Morty was stripes. Baker Morty sunk the eight ball into the pocket before he sunk his other balls resulting in an instant loss. He jokingly threw a fit and stomped off. Baker Morty was having fun but he missed his buddies on the Citadel. He loved Cash Morty and his business owner friends. But this was Cash Morty's group. He couldn't relate to any of them, they were all extremely wealthy business owners and he was just a simple Morty who worked at a factory. He preferred to be with the Morty friends he had made on the Citadel. They too were just simple Morties. They should go hang out and do stuff like this more often.
A few moments later they heard voices coming from the foyer.
"Our wives are back!" Beachy Morty's eyes lit up.
"Man I'm going to hug Clairabelle and kiss her and…..nevermind" Psychic Morty said. The Morties raced to the foyer to meet their babes. Well, the married ones anyway.
"Are you ok?" Smooth Morty fussed over his clearly exhausted wife.
"I'm fine darling" Catalina giggled.
"What about you sweetie? Are you ok? You must have been so cold, you know my baby is tropical, she has special environmental needs" Beachy Morty hugged his wife tight.
"Don't worry Beachy Morty, we were considerate of Mayrina's need for warmth and humidity" Rosie said.
"Hey honey, how did the shopping go? Did you find the dress you wanted?" Cash Morty gave Rosie a peck on the cheek.
"I did! It so pretty I love it" Rosie handed him his card back.
"Really? Well in that case I can't wait to see you in it" Cash Morty hugged her.
"I just remembered that we have to get Cool Morty, Five Star Morty, Bling Bling Morty, and Baker Morty dates for the wedding or they are going to look like total losers with no babes to walk down the aisle with during the ceremony and no babes to dance with during the reception" Cash Morty said.
"Excuse me? I'm Cool Morty, it is impossible for me to look like a loser" Cool Morty said.
"I'll tell you what Cash, I'll find more bridesmaids so they can all have dates, I know plenty of girls I can have as bridesmaids" Rosie said.
"Thank you babe, you are the best" Cash Morty gave her another peck.
"And who knows, maybe we'll be attending one of their weddings next" Rosie said.
Excitement fizzed through Baker Morty. He knew he was going to sound pathetic for thinking this way. But he was excited to have a date for the wedding. Who knows maybe this was his chance to fall in love and get married. Maybe his wedding would be next. He was excited but Cool Morty, Five Star Morty, and Bling Bling Morty groaned.
"We don't need dates to avoid looking like losers, Rosie, don't feel pressured to invite more people than you originally intended" Bling Bling Morty said.
"Oh but I want to! It will be so fun" Rosie said.
"Can't wait" Cool Morty said sarcastically. Cash Morty glared at him.
"I mean, wow that sounds fun, I can't wait, thank you so much Rosie for adding to your bridal party so us loser single Morties can have dates" Cool Morty said enthusiastically.
"Well Cash, this has been fun, but I think Catalina needs to get home and rest" Smooth Morty said.
"Of course, take care of your wife, see you later" Cash Morty gave his brother a hug.
"Bye Catalina" Cash Morty carefully hugged her. Although he was hugging her very swollen belly more than he was hugging her.
"Hey I felt one of the babies kick me! They love their uncle already" Cash Morty said.
Everyone said their goodbyes and went on their way. Baker Morty returned to the Citadel and there was a mass celebration going on. He cocked his head in confusion, what was happening? He approached the nearest Morty.
"W-what happened?" he asked.
"H-have you been under a rock? Candidate Morty won the election" the Morty responded.
"H-he did!?" Baker Morty was shocked. How did that happen? How did a Morty beat a bunch of Ricks? He thought it impossible for a Morty to rule anything on the Citadel.
He stood in the crowd and watched President Morty give a speech.
"Today the Citadel has changed in a way we never thought possible, no longer will Ricks be the higher power, no longer will Ricks be the higher class and Morties the lower, Ricks and Morties will be treated equally and will be given equal rights, that means that there are no places that Morties are banned from, Morties are now allowed to go to and live in the city of Rickmond" President Morty began. That was followed by loud cheering and whistling from the Morties in attendance.
"Each Morty will be given a portal gun, no longer will they have to rely on Ricks, even Ricked Morties will have their independence, speaking of Ricked Morties, since the Citadel is no longer a Rick dominated place, Morties will no longer be treated as the Ricks' slaves, Ricked Morties can now be free from their Ricks if they so choose, their Ricks cannot make them work for them anymore, the Morties are free to choose their own path" President Morty said. More cheering followed. Some Ricks shouted in outrage.
"Hey! I bought my Morty fair and square! You can't take that from me!" a Rick shouted. But he was quickly drowned out by the cheering Morties.
Baker Morty glanced about nervously. Surely the Ricks would be furious about the things that President Morty was going to change. Ricks would no longer own Morties or be the higher class or power, he didn't imagine that Ricks would give up that power so easily or willingly. He just knew that there would be another assassination attempt on President Morty. No way the Ricks were going to take this sitting down. He thought about his friend Soft Morty. He had always expressed a desire to be free from his Rick. Would he finally have that? And would his Rick let him go so easily? Baker Morty worried that this would cause a lot of unnecessary violence against Morties looking to be free from their Ricks.
"Morties will no longer be bred as clones to serve Ricks, we will no longer be the underdogs, We WILL HAVE OUR FREEDOM!" President Morty shouted. Thunderous applause and cheers and chants of Morty Morty Morty followed his speech. It was so loud that he almost worried that it would shatter the glass domes protecting the Citadel from space.
Baker Morty liked the things President Morty was saying. He knew he should be happy that the Citadel was going to be a much better place for Morties to live. But he couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive. He knew that with change comes resistance. How would the Ricks react to all the change? And what if Cash Morty is right and President Morty doesn't have good intentions? He headed back to his apartment building, no longer able to take the loud celebration going on outside. There was one Morty he definitely wanted to talk to. He took the elevator up to his floor and walked six doors down from his apartment. He knocked on the door. A couple moments later Soft Morty answered the door.
"H-hey Baker Morty, come in" Soft Morty said.
Baker Morty entered his apartment. Missy came up to him and gave him a sniff. Baker Morty patted her head. They sat on his couch.
"So I-I'm guessing you saw that Candidate Morty won the election" Baker Morty said.
"Haha, i-it's hard not to know that he won, t-the Morties are going bananas over it" Soft Morty laughed.
"So w-what are your thoughts on it? Now that he said you can leave your Rick if you want, w-will you?" Baker Morty said.
"Well, he seems like he wants to even the playing field, make it more fair for Morties, honestly, I'm kind of afraid to leave my Rick, I don't know if he will like kill me or something, I make him a lot of money, I don't think he'll just let me stop" Soft Morty said as he scratched his dog's ears.
"Maybe I-I should leave well enough alone, I-I mean for the most part he leaves me alone as long as I post videos, I live here in my own place with my dog, it isn't so bad, I-I think emancipating from him will be more trouble than it's worth" Soft Morty said.
"Yea, I-I get that, I wonder how many Morties will really seek to get away from their Ricks, I-I wonder if they fear the consequences too, h-how can President Morty make it safe for Morties to emancipate from their Ricks?" Baker Morty said.
"I-I know, what would really stop the Ricks from just killing their Morties?" Soft Morty said.
"I-I sincerely hope that the Citadel changes for the better" Soft Morty said.
"M-me too" Baker Morty agreed. Well at least he would be getting his own portal gun it would make traveling to Cash Morty's parties much easier.
He talked with Soft Morty for a couple of hours before he headed back to his own apartment since he had to work in the morning. Thankfully there were no parties to attend tomorrow, as he climbed into his bed he could still hear the loud partying going on outside. Worse than that, many of his neighbors were having loud celebrations of their own. Loud music and laughter and talking was all around him. He growled and slammed his pillow over his head to muffle the noise. But the noise was still coming through. He tried to close his eyes and ignore it.
As his clock struck midnight the partying showed no signs of stopping. The Morty that lived in the apartment above him was having a karaoke night. He was singing really loudly and jumping around. The loud thud of his jumping was shaking Baker Morty's walls. The Morty neighbors to his right sounded like they were fighting, things were crashing and banging. Some Morties were out in the hallway carrying on loud conversations. The Morty that lived on his left was currently shouting expletives off his balcony presumably at some Ricks below. Baker Morty wanted to rip his hair out.
Finally he could stand it no longer and got out of bed, he slipped his blue kitten slippers on and headed out his door. Making sure he glared at every loud partying Morty he passed. He went down to the front desk. In the lobby there were several Morties who clearly had one too many to drink. A Morty was drunkenly dancing on one of the tables. Whilst his buddies loudly cheered him on. He grimaced as a Morty was projectile vomiting in the corner. To his absolute horror and disgust two Morties were on one of the lounge chairs wildly making out. He stalked up to Property Manager Morty.
"E-excuse me, is there a way we can stop all this noise? S-some of us have to work in the morning" Baker Morty had to raise his voice to be heard over the racket.
"Chill out, a Morty just won t-the presidency, finally Morties are going to be treated fairly, we have a right to celebrate, s-stop being such a buzzkill" Property Manager Morty slurred. He was obviously very drunk.
"I-I understand that, but some of us Morties have to get up early in the morning and need to get some sleep" Baker Morty responded.
"What is your problem!? Y-you clearly hate Morties!" Property Manager Morty suddenly shouted.
"What? I-I don't hate Morties, I-I'm a Morty" Baker Morty was stunned that he would even come to that conclusion.
"T-then you understand the Morty struggle, a-and you recognize our right to celebrate the end of that struggle, why don't you lighten up and have a drink" Property Manager Morty slurred.
He sighed he was clearly going to get nowhere with this. He turned to head back to his apartment. A drunk Morty ran into him spilling his drink all over Baker Morty.
"Msorry" the Morty slurred drunkenly.
"I-its ok" Baker Morty struggled to keep his voice even. These drunk Morties were really starting to work his nerves.
He continued on his way back to his apartment. He stepped out of the elevator and immediately collided with a Morty that was standing directly in front of the elevator door.
"D-didyoujuspushme!" the drunk Morty slurred his words whilst swinging a bottle of liquor.
"No, I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't notice you there" Baker Morty said. The drunk Morty slugged Baker Morty right across the face.
Baker Morty fled to his apartment with the angry drunken Morty chasing after him. He slammed and locked his door. He even closed the safety latch on his door just in case the drunkard tried to kick his door in. the drunk Morty was pounding on his door and shouting expletives and threats. His heart was pounding. He was scared that this Morty knew where he lived. What if he made good on his threats? He was beginning to wish he had just stayed in bed. He changed out of his alcohol-soaked clothes. He wondered how Floor Manager Morty and Soft Morty were faring in all of this. By the time he climbed back into his bed it was one in the morning. In four and half short hours he would have to get up for work. Finally he could stay awake no longer and his eyes closed.
It felt like he had slept for two minutes when his alarm went off. He was a zombie as he ate and got dressed for work, a very very tired zombie. For the most part the noise had stopped. He opened his door and found the drunken Morty that was pounding on his door passed out in front of his door. Normally he would be horrified but he was too tired to care. He just stepped over him.
The lobby was like a war zone. Passed out Morties littered the place, there were broken bottles and those red Dolo cups everywhere. The place reeked of vomit and alcohol. There were even puddles where drunk Morties had gotten sick all over the place. He was absolutely appalled. He paid to live in a nice apartment complex. He didn't pay to live in a dive. He could understand the Morties being happy a Morty was elected president but this was too much. It was like the Morties lost respect for themselves and everything else. This was a nice place and they were ruining it.
He headed toward the door dodging Morties and sick puddles. He saw that the two Morties that were making out with each other last night were now fully nude their clothes scattered about the floor. It was obvious that the make out session had progressed into something more. He wanted to puke, were these Morties just going at it here in front of everyone? He supposed the other Morties were most likely too drunk to notice or care. He hoped they woke up sober and were utterly ashamed of themselves; he hoped they all were ashamed of the way they acted. This place had better be spotless when he returned from work. He felt like having words with Property Manager Morty for not only allowing this to happen but joining in on it.
He went outside to his motorcycle. There were knocked out Morties littering the sidewalks! This was ridiculous. As he sat on his motorcycle he realized it was not safe for him to operate a vehicle with how tired he was. You know what? He would inform Floor Manager Morty that he wouldn't be making it into the office today. He just couldn't even deal with today right now. With a quick call to Floor Manager Morty he headed back up to his apartment. He changed back into his pajamas and settled into his bed for a nice long nap. Hopefully when he woke up the Morties will be sane again.