(Pony)
I was floating. Somewhere between asleep and awake. A gray darkness swirled around me, enveloping me in it. My head felt fuzzy and I couldn't quite remember where I was or what had happened. But nothing hurt and I wasn't afraid so I just let myself float.
And then I woke up. My eyes snapped open and I was standing in front of an old, run down house. A bicycle leaned against the side of the house, a half inflated football next to it. The grass was overgrown and in need of mowing, the long strands dancing lightly as a warm breeze brushed over us. In front of the porch was a garden, much better maintained than the grass surrounding it. Flowers bloomed, adding splashes of color against the faded paint of the house behind it. I knew instantly in my heart where I was. I was home.
I walked up the porch steps, the third one emitting a squeak as I stepped on it. I stood outside the door, unsure if I should knock or just go in. Figuring it'd be more polite to knock, I did, wrapping my knuckles against the worn wood.
The door opened and there they stood, smiling at me. My mom and dad. My mom is beautiful, her smile goes straight to her eyes and lights up her entire face. My dad's eyes crinkle from his smile, tears building up in his eyes as he opens his arms wide, beckoning me to him, welcoming me home.
I lunge into his arms as he wraps me in a crushing hug, my moms arms snaking around me also as she peppers my head with soft kisses.
"Oh my sweet Ponyboy" she says and her voice sounds like music to my ears, her soft hand coming to caress my face, cupping my cheek in her hand.
I lean my head into her hand, "Hi Mama".
My dad ushers us inside, leading us to the couch. I sit in between them, my Dad puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his side while my mom takes one of my hands in hers, rubbing her thumb over my hand. All I can think is how happy I am, how safe I feel.
I think I must be dead because this must be Heaven.
"There's my boy" my dad says affectionately, giving my shoulders a squeeze. I look up at him and I almost think I'm looking at Darry for a second, the two look so similar. Then I realize with a shock, Soda and Darry aren't here.
"Where's Soda and Darry?" I ask, looking between the two of them. My eyes can't seem to settle on one of them, wanting to drink in as much of them as they can.
My mom brushes my hair back from my forehead, "They aren't here right now. But they're okay, I promise"
"Am I dead?" I ask, nervous for the answer.
My dad chuckles, "No, you aren't dead. Just…sleeping, sort of, right now."
"Is this real? Or am I just dreaming?"
"It's more than a dream. It's real but it's a bit complicated. But you'll be okay, you'll go back soon" my dad reassures.
"Go back?! I don't want to go back, I don't want to leave you!" I jolt up, clutching my mom's hand tighter.
"Oh baby" she says, her voice sweet as honey and just as soothing, "We don't want to leave you either, we never wanted that. But you belong there now, with your brothers"
"What if I forget you again?" I whisper.
"You won't" my dad says, sounding so sure, "You won't forget, and we'll always be with you, in your heart"
I sniff, fighting the tears that are threatening to fall. I lean closer into my dad, savoring the warmth and comfort radiating off of him.
"I'm sorry I forgot about you. I didn't mean to." I say closing my eyes, scared to meet their eyes.
My dad leans to press a kiss into my hair, "You have nothing to be sorry for. None of that was your fault"
"But I forgot about you! And Darry and Soda -"
"It wasn't your fault" my dad interrupts, "You were so little and had so many terrible things happen, it's okay that you forgot. And in time, you'll remember what was important, it'll come back to you."
"We're so sorry we had to leave you and your brothers but we're so proud of all of you" my mom says.
I shrugged, not sure what I could've done to make them proud of me. I was nothing but a runner and a coward who forgot his own family.
Almost as if she could read my mind, she takes my chin in her hand, turning my head to face her. I peek my eyes open and meet hers. They're green and so filled with love that it heals the hole in my heart I didn't know I had.
"I am so proud of you, Ponyboy. You've been so strong and through so many hardships, but you're still so kind, so good." She draws me into a hug, wrapping me in her warmth and love. I start to cry, knowing that this is one of things I've been missing almost my whole life, a mother's unconditional love, her hugs that can heal a broken heart, her voice that soothes a tortured soul. She rocks us gently while my dad rubs my back, both of them whispering words of comfort to me, healing the wounded child I was and still kind of am. Their forgiveness for forgetting them was what I needed, what my soul needed.
After crying my heart out, I sit up and wipe my face and smile sheepishly at them. My dad ruffles my hair and stands up, clapping his hands, "I know just what you need, wait here". He disappears into the kitchen and comes back moments later, three plates balanced on his arm. He hands one to me and the delicious scent of chocolate fills my nostrils.
"That is your mama's famous chocolate cake" he says with a warm smile.
I smile back. I love chocolate, but I almost never get to have it. Most foster parents aren't showering their foster kids with sweets. I take my fork and take a big bite, savoring the rich, sweetness that washes over my tongue.
"Ain't that the best thing since sliced bread?" he asks and I nod enthusiastically.
"This is the best thing I've ever had" I say sincerely, both of my parents laugh, eating their own slices of cake, albeit slower than me.
My mom glances over her shoulder, out the front window, "Why don't we take it to the porch to eat while we watch the sunset?"
The three of us go out and settle on the porch swing, my dad rocking us slowly with his heavy boots that are planted on the ground.
"We used to do this when you were small" my mom says, her legs tucked up on the swing, our sides leaning into each other, "You loved to watch the sunset, I'd put the Elvis record on loud enough to hear from inside and I'd hold you on my hip, and we'd watch it together"
I lean my head against her, and the ghost of a memory flits through my mind. I remember being held, looking out at the sky, pointing out the colors while a warm voice praises me for being able to name all the colors while the king crooned in the background.
"I remember that" I whisper, looking out at the new view in front of us..
The sunset is beautiful, the sky colored in oranges and pinks and purples. All the colors swirled around like God himself was painting at the easel. It's an almost perfect moment, sat between my parents, chocolate cake settled in my stomach, looking out at the most beautiful sky I've ever seen. The only thing missing was my brothers.
"Ponyboy, I know you boys have had it rough, but now that you're all back together, I want you to promise me that you'll take care of each other" my dad says, still rocking us gently as the sky starts to darken.
"Darry and Soda already have been taking care of me. I don't really know how I could take care of them" I say, unsure what I could ever do to help them.
"Those brothers of yours love you so much, more than anything, and they'll take real good care of you. But they need you just as much as you need them, you'll see" my dad replies, "You boys all need each other, to look after each other"
"I promise, Dad, I will"
"Good man" he says.
The sun has set completely and night has settled. Stars blink overhead, illuminating the porch in a soft glow as cicadas start up their noise. Aside from a small ache in my side, I'm perfectly content, the rocking is soothing, and my mom is running a hand through my hair. I start to feel real sleepy and cuddle even closer to my mom.
"I love you, Ponyboy" my mom whispers, still carding her hand through my hair, "You and your brothers are the best thing I ever did with my life, I love you all so much"
"I love you too, mama. I miss you so much" I whisper back, she gives me a soft kiss on my forehead.
"We are so proud of you boys" my dad adds softly, "I wish we could be there with you"
I reach a hand out and my dad takes it, cradling it in his own while his other hand trails up and down my arm.
"I love you, dad" I whisper to him.
"I love you too, little colt" he whispers back to me.
My eyes are drooping, it's getting harder to stay awake, the gray darkness starting to swirl around me once again.
And I drift off to a peaceful sleep, held and comforted in my parent's arms.
A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my sweet dog Mabel, who unexpectedly and tragically passed away this week. She was the sweetest gal, a food demon, and a great cuddler. I'll miss you forever. Hope you found the warmest sunbeam up in Heaven
As always, thank you for reading my friends!