(Ponyboy)
A soft light was breaking through my sleep. Soft touches on my head. A warm pressure against my arm. Bits and pieces of what had happened came through slowly, and then all at once, slamming into me and jolting me awake and back into reality.
My eyes shoot open, taking in the plain white ceiling above me. I shift around a bit to try and take in more of the room, but a white hot pain lights up in my side when I move, making me wince. I close my eyes against the pain, gritting my teeth and trying to breathe through the pain. The pain subsides to a dull ache and I open my eyes again, making sure to make my movements slower this time.
I'm laying in a hospital bed, Sodapop is asleep next to me, his head pressed against my arm, his mouth hanging open. Darry is slumped over in a chair next to our bed, his arm outstretched on my pillow and his head hanging so his chin rests against his chest. It looks mighty uncomfortable.
There's no clock in the room but morning light is streaming brightly through a small window on the other side of the room, the thin curtain doing nothing to keep the light out.
Everything from yesterday feels like a dream. I remember being at the park with Johnny, the Moore's being there and them trying to drag me off. I remember the icy plunge into the fountain and then things get a little fuzzy because somehow Darry and Dallas had appeared to help us. I remember a gun and a knife, and being scared not just for me but for Darry and our friends. And then the hot, blinding pain of the knife piercing into my side and Darry's look of despair as he held me to his chest. And after that, my mind draws a blank. Clearly I somehow ended up at the hospital but I don't remember how. I just remember drifting, feeling like I was in a peaceful dream for the last few hours. I can't recall any real details of the dream, but I know it was a good dream, of safe places and of people I love watching over me.
Wanting more details about what happened after I got stabbed, I reach a hand out and shake Darry's knee, "Hey Darry"
His head snaps up and his eyes dart around the room before settling on my face. He breaks out in a smile, his hand going from my pillow to my head and brushing my hair back off of my forehead.
"Hey Pony. How are you feeling?" He asks softly.
I shrug, not wanting him to worry, "Just a little achy, but I'm okay"
"The nurse came in and gave you some pain medicine a few hours ago so you should be able to get some more here soon" Darry says.
"How did I get here?" I ask him.
He studies my face for a moment before he answers, "What's the last thing you remember?"
"Being at the park, right after Mr. Moore…got me"
"Well we got you to the hospital and they had to do surgery, seems your kidney got nicked but it's all fixed up now" Darry says "And after that you slept for a bit and then they let me and Soda in to be with you. You woke up twice last night but you seemed a little out of it, probably from the medicine".
I take a moment to process all of that. It's a little freaky that I had surgery and don't even remember it. I think that it's probably a good thing though, I would have been mighty scared beforehand so I guess it's good I don't remember that at all. Speaking of being scared, I fiddle with the edge of my blanket before working up the courage to ask another pressing question, terrified about what the answer will be.
"What happened to the Moores?"
"Officer Moore and his wife are in jail, they're locked away" Darry says, quick to reassure me as I glance up to meet his eyes, "And Mr. Moore is dead. He was shot by the police after he hurt you"
"Oh" I say, unable to think of anything else. I feel guilty that he's dead but also immensely relieved that he's out of my life for good. Then more guilt floods through my gut as I realize I'm relieved he's dead, what kind of messed up person thinks like that?
"It's not your fault, Ponyboy" Darry says gently, like he can read my mind somehow, "He was a bad person and he got what he deserved. The Moores aren't ever going to be able to hurt you again"
I shift in the bed to try and squirm away from my mixed emotions and accidentally jostle Sodapop, who groans and stretches, his arm almost smacking me in the face.
"Watch it, Soda" Darry warns.
Soda squints his eyes open, shooting a glare at Darry before looking over at me. His face lights up "Pony! You're awake!"
He squirms and wiggles as he awkwardly lifts himself up, accidentally elbowing me and making me wince in the process, but then he's sitting up next to me and pulling me tightly into a side hug.
"You scared the shit out of me, kid" he whispers.
"I'm sorry" I whisper back, leaning my head against his.
"Just dont ever do that again" He chuckles, pulling back and looking at me, his eyes scanning me up and down, "You're okay, aren't you Pony?"
I nod "I'm okay, Soda"
He gives me another squeeze and then looks over at Darry, "Did I miss anything while I was sleeping?"
Darry rolls his eyes fondly, "Nope. The nurse came in a few times and checked on Pony and gave him some pain medicine. She said her and the doctor would be back some time this morning"
Soda nods and then almost as if they had heard us talking about them, there's a knock on the door. A doctor in a white coat and a middle aged nurse stand in the doorway.
"Is it okay if we come in?" The doctor asks as the nurse bustles over to me. Soda gets off of the bed but stays standing right by me as the nurse starts to take my blood pressure and pulse.
"I'm Dr. Green, I took over for the emergency room doctor after your surgery. How are you feeling this morning, Ponyboy?"
He talks fast with a no nonsense tone and I'm a little intimidated by him, but I think that's maybe just how doctors talk.
"I'm alright" I answer.
"He said he was feeling a little achy when he first woke up" Darry informs him. I feel kinda betrayed that he ratted me out to the doctor but when I see the look of concern on Darry's face I figure he must just be worried about me.
Dr. Green looks over at Darry, "That's too be expected after the surgery. As long as the pain isn't unmanageable."
He puts on a pair of gloves, "I'll need to check the incision site to make sure it's healing correctly."
I nod and shift myself up a little in bed. Darry and Soda stand up on either side of me and help me to sit up all the way. Darry steps back to make room for the doctor but Soda leaves his hand on my other arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
The doctor peels off the tape and it feels like he peels off a layer of my skin right along with it. I hiss in pain, thinking the tape might hurt worse than actually being stabbed. Soda narrows his eyes at the doctor.
"Sorry, sorry" Dr. Green apologizes, actually looking sorry, "We'll wrap it after this so we don't have to put anymore tape on"
"Thanks" I tell him sincerely.
He pokes around a bit and the area feels pretty tender, especially when he pushes on it but apparently it looks okay because he lightly places a new gauze pad on it before continuing on with his assessment.
"I'm just going to listen to your lungs now. Your brother told me you were held underwater for a bit, are you having any difficulty breathing?"
I shake my head, "No, my breathing feels fine"
"Good, good" he mutters as he places a cold stethoscope against my chest, moving it around as I breathe in and out. I notice it's a bit hard to take a deep breath, like my lungs won't fully cooperate but I decide not to mention it, I don't want to be stuck in this hospital bed any longer than necessary.
"Well, it sounds like there may be a bit of fluid in your lungs. We'll shoot a chest x-ray to make sure there isn't too much fluid or a possible pneumonia going on. But overall, everything looks good"
Darry nods along to what he says while Soda just looks relieved.
"I'll have the nurse wrap you up again. I'll be back later today to check on you but have the nurse call me if you need anything" Dr. Green says, throwing his gloves in the trash as he leaves the room.
The nurse comes back over to me with a roll of gauze in her hands. She smiles warmly at me in what I can only think of as a motherly way.
"I'm Nurse Marjorie" she introduces "I took over for the night shift nurse so I'll be taking care of you today"
She secures a large piece of gauze against my side and then winds a roll of gauze around me to keep it in place. I already like this set up way better than the bulky tape I'd had earlier.
"There. All set" she declares, looking proudly down at her work. "Now, there's some visitors who have been anxiously asking after you down in the lobby. I'm going to bring you some more pain medication and then I can bring them back, if you like"
"What'd you say, Pony? You up for some company?" Darry asks.
"Sure" I say, kind of touched that my brother's friends are willing to come visit me in the hospital.
Nurse Marjorie bustles out of the room with a promise to return with my medicine. I'd been feeling okay but it was starting to hurt a bit more after the doctor had poked and prodded it. Luckily, Nurse Marjorie is fast and returns to the room quickly, telling me she brought some pain medication and an antibiotic for the fluid in my lungs.. She pulls a syringe out and attaches it to the IV tubing that's taped to the crook of my elbow and slowly pushes the medicine into it. Then she props a pillow behind my back to help me sit up all the way, fluffing it out behind me. She gives me a white pill and a cup of water which I down quickly, not bothering to ask what it is and trusting the nurse not to poison me. She pats me good naturedly on the arm as I hand her back the empty cup and then she smoothes my blanket over me.
"It looks like your social worker is here, boys. Apparently they need to talk to you all about something. I'll bring your friends up as soon as their done in here"
A ball of dread drops in my stomach and I frantically look over at Darry. He's quick to reassure me, his hand grabbing mine in a tight grip.
"Oh sweetie, it'll be okay" Nurse Marjorie soothes, reading the fear that is clearly evident on my face. Her soft hand pats me gently on the arm before she moves to leave the room.
Her words are kind but they do nothing to dull my mounting panic. What if these social workers make me leave? What if they take me from my brothers and I won't get to see them again? What if they put me with someone bad again?
"Ponyboy" Darry says, his calloused hand tilting my chin up to look him in the eyes, "Everything is going to be okay. They just need to talk to you real quick but they ain't taking you anywhere. You're staying with me and Soda, okay? I promise"
"Darry's right, Pony. You're stuck with us from now on" Soda adds.
"I don't wanna go back" I whisper.
"You aren't going back. Mrs. Smith is putting you in my custody and I ain't ever going to let us get separated again" Darry promises while he pulls me into a tight hug.
There's another soft knock on the door before it's opened quietly and two women enter the room. They don't look like evil monsters, just normal people, but I've learned you can't always judge someone based on the way they look.
Darry keeps an arm around me while he greets the two women, "Good morning Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Lawrence"
"Hi Mrs. Lawrence" Soda says with a wave to the younger of the two.
"Good morning boys" she replies kindly. This one must be Mrs. Lawrence, Soda's social worker of the last few years.
"Darrel, Soda, if I could have you two step out for just a few minutes. We need to talk to Ponyboy on his own"
That's the absolute last thing I want. Soda seems nervous about it too but he gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze and whispers "It'll be okay".
"We'll be right outside, Pony. We ain't leaving you" Darry says, giving me one more quick hug and smiling politely at the social workers as he and Soda leave me to the wolves. Well, maybe that's dramatic but it's kinda how it feels.
"Hi there. You must be Ponyboy" says the older of the two, she reminds me of a school principal with her neat appearance and strict face. "I'm pleased to finally meet you" she continues with a small smile that reaches all the way to her eyes, making her look much nicer.
"Hi" I say softly, desperately wishing that Darry and Soda had been allowed to stay in the room with me. I haven't had good luck with social workers in the past, and even though my brothers had reassured me these two were okay, I couldn't help but be nervous. I wasn't going to let my guard down.
"I must say, I'm glad to finally meet you too. Your brother has talked a lot about you" Mrs. Lawrence says, pulling the chair Darry had been sitting in towards her and then turning it to face me. Mrs. Smith does the same with the other chair, and for some reason it makes me feel a little better that they're both sitting on a level plane as me and not looming over me.
"So, Ponyboy. I must first start off with an apology to you" Mrs. Smith says, folding her hands on her lap and looking at me with sincerity. Her statement has thrown me for a loop. What the heck did she need to apologize to me for?
Before I can panic too much, she continues, "I've worked for the child welfare department for many years, and I've never seen a case as mishandled as yours. I'm truly sorry that we have let you down, but I will do all I can to make it up to you".
"It's okay" I mumble, looking down at my hands instead of at her.
"It's not okay" she says, almost sadly, "You've been let down and mistreated too many times in your young life and for that I will always be sorry. But from here on out, we'll work to make it right for you"
It's the first time I can remember a grown up ever apologizing to me. It's the first time I feel like maybe there is a grown up looking out for me and wants what's best for me. A tiny glimmer of hope forms deep in my heart, but I've been burned too many times to let it keep growing.
"Thank you" I tell her, eyes flickering up to briefly meet hers before they go back to staring at my hands.
"Of course, dear" she says kindly before her voice reverts to a professional tone, "Now onto business. Your brother Darrel has asked for you to be placed in his custody. Is this what you would like also?"
"Yes!" I reply quickly, the desperation obvious in my voice but I don't care, "I want to stay with Darry. Please let me stay with my brothers"
"You're sure? Because if you don't feel safe there or you don't want to I can find you another fos-"
"No! I want to stay with them, I want to stay with my family" I interrupt.
"Alright, Ponyboy. I understand. Mrs. Lawrence here will be your new social worker, you can talk to her if you ever change your mind. Now let's bring your brother's back in so we can all chat for a moment." says Mrs. Smith and then she stands up and goes to the door to bring my brothers back in.
Mrs. Lawrence leans forward, "I know you've had some rotten social workers, but I promise I'm not like that. I only wants what's best for you and you can always come to me if you need anything"
Maybe against my better judgment and maybe against all the walls of distrust I've built over the years, but I believe her.
I give her a small smile and a nod, "Thanks". She smiles back and stands up as Darry and Soda come back into the room. Soda comes to bed and sits next to me, knocking my shoulder with his own while Darry looks me over, like he's looking for new injuries or something. I shoot him a smile and a look of relief washes over his face.
"Now, Darrel. As you know, Ponyboy has been placed in your temporary custody until the court case, I'll be speaking with the judge beforehand about the circumstance of this case so we should have no problems with Ponyboy being placed in your permanent custody. In the meantime, you'll need to get him registered for school and set up with the essentials- doctor, dentist and things of that nature. I'll leave you a list of referrals before I go"
Darry is nodding along seriously, drinking in her every word but all I can focus is on permanent custody. Nothing in my life has been permanent and I only now realized how badly I want that.
"I'll be coming around soon to check on both Sodapop and Ponyboy but feel free to call me anytime before then" Mrs. Lawrence says and hands me her card.
And with that, the two social workers shake all of our hands and Mrs. Smith hands Darry a huge packet of paperwork and then they take their leave, leaving me in a stunned silence as I realize that I get to go home with Darry and Soda after this. That I'll actually belong there.
Of course the silence is broken as four rowdy greasers come barreling into the room.
"Well if ain't the Curtis brothers!" Two Bit crows as he practically bounces into the room, "How ya doin' kid? You sure had us worried".
Dally rolls his eyes and elbows Two Bit, "I wasn't worried. The kids tougher than he looks". But as he says it, his eyes scan me up and down, just like Darry had done, like he was checking to make sure I was okay.
"Well that's a good thing because he don't really look that tough" Steve mutters, tossing a backpack to Soda who was flipping Steve the bird for saying that to me. Steve just scoffs and starts digging through the bag he's carrying, pulling out a muffin and tossing that to Soda too.
"Don't be rude to the guys who brought you breakfast" Steve says with a smirk.
"Keep it down a little, guys" Darry scolds, pulling one of the chairs back next to the bed and starting to rifle through the paperwork. Johnny walks up to him and hands him a muffin and a plastic cup, the aroma of coffee that I've come to associate with Darry hitting me a moment later.
"Thanks Johnny" Darry says, shooting a hand out to ruffle his hair. Johnny dodges away from him and comes up the side of my bed.
"You okay, Pony?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. And Johnny, I'm so sorry about what happened and it's all my fault and-"
"Hey slow down, man!" Johnny interrupts, "You don't gotta apologize, it ain't your fault"
"But -"
"Nope. Ain't none of it is on you, okay?" He looks at me sternly, looking more stubborn than I've ever seen him.
I turn to Dally and open my mouth to try and apologize to him but he glares at me "Don't even think about it, kid. Just cause you're hurt dont mean I won't smack you for saying stupid shit"
Soda whacks him on the head for that.
"But you guys are okay, right? You aren't hurt too bad?" I ask, looking between the two of them.
"Don't worry about us. We're fine" Johnny reassures me, waving off my concern. I don't know if I would call them 'fine' though. Johnny's lip is split and I saw him holding his ribs as he walked in. And Dallas has a big cut that's been stitched up and is surrounded by a huge, dark bruise on his forehead. He sees me staring at it and sighs.
"It ain't that bad, kid. Don't worry about it" he says gruffly.
"Yeah, Dally has a real hard head. He did more damage to the gun than the gun did to him" Two Bit quips with a grin.
I can't help the laugh that escapes me at that. And even though it hurts my side a bit, I keep laughing as Dally and Two Bit start shoving at each other and trying to get the other in a headlock. Darry gets up from his chair and pulls the two of them apart, muttering about 'morons are gonna get us all kicked outta here'.
After Darry threatened them all with bodily harm, all the guys settled down. Steve distributed the rest of the muffins and everyone sat around eating them. I just picked at mine, taking only a few bites because I wasn't really feeling hungry. In fact, I was starting to feel real tired even though I'd just woken up a bit ago.
Two Bit pulled out a deck of cards and everyone scooted in as he dealt them out. We all played a few hands of blackjack before I could barely hold my cards up from how tired I was.
"You hurting again, Pony?" Darry asks, leaning forward and looking concerned.
I shake my head, "No, just a bit tired"
He nods and then started adjusting the pillows behind me so that I was lying back down again.
"Why don't you rest for a bit more? We'll keep it down" He says, smoothing my hair back from my forehead.
I kind of want to knock his hand away and tell him I'm not a baby and he didn't have to coddle me, especially in front of the guys, but before I know it my eyes are so heavy I can't open them back up and I drift off to sleep.