O
ARTEMIS
Moon
"Mum?"
Hope wandered into the kitchen. Her father was sitting with his face in his hands and her mother was speaking softly to him, leaning forwards with her hand on the back of his neck. Hope had only seen her parents look like this once before, after the death of an old friend, and knew it to be a sign that they should be left alone.
The news from earlier had overwhelmed her with fear and the mere thought of going upstairs to her room all by herself was terrifying. If Teddy had been there, she would have talked to him. But he was out with Victoire.
"When will Greyback come out of prison?" She flicked tiny metal handles on the kitchen drawers as she spoke, voice as jaunty as she could manage.
"Can we talk about this in the morning please, Hope?" Tonks looked across at her with a small, sad smile. "It's late."
"I'm going back to school in the morning," Hope protested. "It'll be busy, it always is."
"We will make time to talk to you, I promise," Tonks said. "You need to give us a moment now."
"But-"
"Hope, please do as I say, and go up to bed." There was an edge to her mother's voice that told her she was pushing her luck. She knew, knew, that if she told her parents the truth, that the thought of the monster who had maimed her father's life had always been her worst fear in the world, their attitude would be different. She knew it would take only the simplest of admissions to get her parents' undivided attention, their reassurance and their sympathy, to get them to talk to her and comfort her for as long as she needed. They put their children before themselves. They always had.
I'm too scared to go to bed and I'm so afraid that Greyback will come and attack you and I want to make sure you'll be safe.
The words wouldn't come. Hope didn't like admitting her fears or problems out loud. Her don't care attitude and bright-eyed expression was the armour behind which her weaknesses – or so she felt they were – dwelled, never allowed to see the light of day. She had pretended, ever since the news of Greyback's trial, that he didn't bother her at all. She had deliberately avoided any attempt on their end to discuss the subject with her. She had forced a passive expression and unconcerned air at the mere mention of his name. They had no way of knowing how truly worried she was.
She should do as she was told; go upstairs and talk to her parents in the morning. Go upstairs and get into bed. Turn off the light in her bedroom.
Where Greyback may be lurking in the shadows.
"I'm not tired," she persisted.
"Then go and read a book. I won't ask you again."
"I want to know one tiny thing," she said, aware that she sounded sulky, still unable to say what was really on her mind. "It's not going to take-"
"Hope, for god's sake get upstairs and leave us alone." Hope reeled at the uncharacteristic harshness in her father's voice. She was used to her mother getting irritable from time to time, fleeting bursts of anger that fizzled out within minutes. Dad was different. He was always calm, mellow and steady. He could be stern and serious, but she couldn't remember him getting properly angry since that horrible incident in the cellar six years ago. He had never snapped at her like that before, all hard and cold, his eyes narrowed as if he... hated her.
He passed a hand over his forehead and she could tell he already felt guilty. He reached out the other hand placatingly.
"Listen-"
Hope turned away without a word, left the kitchen and stumped upstairs. She buried herself under her duvet and tried to banish all thoughts of werewolves and monsters, but every time she shut her eyes she saw a flash of jaws, a splatter of blood, a pale, lifeless body-
"Hope?"
Hope did not reemerge from under her duvet.
"Hope, I'm sorry." She felt a slight pressure through the sheets as he put his hand on the lump that was her curled up form. He must know that she was awake. "I didn't mean to snap at you. This news has been a shock. But I know it's not fair to take it out on you."
Hope refused to reply. She heard him sigh.
"We'll talk in the morning."
O
Dear Hope,
I'm so sorry about how we left things before you went back to school. I truly didn't mean to seem angry with you. The news took me by surprise and I didn't handle it well.
We'll have a proper talk about it when we next see you.
Please write back if you need anything.
I love you.
Dad
Hope was not enjoying the new term at school. She felt guilty about how she had behaved towards her parents on the morning before going back, her father in particular, refusing to let him hug her when he dropped her at the station and not even going to the window to wave once she boarded the train. And although she had written a couple of brief updates to her parents and Teddy in general, she had not responded to his individual letters at all.
Nightmares about Greyback started to plague her. Several nights a week, particularly in the run up to the full moon, she would wake up drenched in sweat from an awful dream. Greyback's cold eyes were always particularly vivid in them, his scars lurid scarlet and dripping with fresh blood. She could almost smell the steel stench of it. Often she was sure she was screaming through the dreams, but as none of her dormmates had commented so far - and Elodie would have had no qualms about doing so - she surmised that her dream screams were as stifled and silent as her current emotions.
Her lack of concentration, not to mention sleep, was starting to impact on her flying, and although Cal and Dom remained patient, the feeling of letting her teammates down was not helping in the slightest.
The January Hogsmeade visit was, at least, more fun than the November one, with Dom and Roxanne fully fit and recovered from their illnesses.
"Where shall we go first?" Roxanne enquired, as they threaded their way through the throngs of students. "Not Honeydukes or the Wheeze. Somewhere less crowded."
"The Flyaway?" Hope suggested, speaking of the luxury quidditch shop that had opened five years ago. "I know we can't afford any of the stuff, but it's fun to pretend."
Due to the Flyaway's extortionate prices, Hope was right about not being able to buy the products, but it also meant it was almost deserted, and it was fun to look through the exquisite quidditch robes, polished broomsticks and fancy accessories. None of them were discounted, of course.
"Where do they get their business from when it's so expensive?" Roxanne grumbled, inspecting a tiny golden tail compass in the window that had a price tag of sixty seven galleons. "Not from Hogwarts students, that's for sure."
The only student they met was Cal, who was at the tills as they entered. He took the package that the cashier had wrapped up for him and went on his way with a smile towards the three of them.
"Wait - is he rich?" Roxanne hissed to Dom, watching him depart.
"What does that matter?"
"Added bonus, isn't it?"
Roxanne nudged her in the ribs but Dom ignored her and stalked off towards the quidditch glove selection.
"Rox, don't tease her," Hope pleaded, grabbing Roxanne's arm and pulling her in the opposite direction. "She doesn't like talking about that stuff, you know she doesn't."
"OK, I'm sorry. But I know she likes him and she won't say anything to me. Has she not talked about him to you?" Roxanne said. "Not even when you guys are in the common room."
"No." It was the honest truth, although unlike Roxanne, Hope hadn't asked. "She chats to him most evenings, but I think it's about practice drills and game tactics. She hasn't told me about liking him as more than a friend."
"Oh she definitely does," Roxanne said. "I think he likes her back, so if they like each other what's the problem? Totally simple situation."
Even Roxanne's voice had a guilty edge to it as her sentence tailed off. They both knew that when it came to Dom's innermost thoughts and feelings, situations were hardly ever simple.
O
Hope's life didn't feel simple either at the moment, and to make matters worse, Edgecombe announced at the end of January that their next topic would be werewolves. They were, as usual, to do a bit of research on the subject and write a hundred word summary ready for the next class.
Elodie, who had been fairly quiet for a while now, no doubt due to her close call with expulsion the previous year, was cackling as they packed away their bags. She always took liberties in Edgecombe's classes, on the basis that the teacher liked her and rarely reprimanded her.
"Some of us could probably skip this module all together," she said to Natalie, who laughed loudly as well. "What do you say, Lupin? You've had a lifetime of first-hand study on the topic, haven't you?"
"You've had a lifetime's experience of being a slimy maggot, but you still had to study flobberworms last week," Hope retorted.
She was heartened when there was a ripple of laughter from the listening students. Elodie marched out of the room with her nose in the air and one of the Gryffindors muttered "Nice comeback, Lupin." It was difficult to get one over on Elodie.
That evening, writing her homework, Hope didn't feel cheerful at all. How on earth was she supposed to summarise the condition that had plagued her father's life, distorted her family's world, and haunted her nightmares for weeks now, in one hundred words?
In the end, knowing that Edgecombe would not approve, she ignored the books and wrote what she felt needed to be said.
oOo
February
"Settle down!" Professor Edgecombe clapped her hands for silence. "We're already late starting so let's get on with it, please. As Lennox and Longbottom are absent… " she scanned the register briefly. "Lupin… please read out your summary to get us started."
No, no, no.
Hope swore silently to herself. She had calculated. She had made sure that it wouldn't be her turn. But she hadn't factored in Marion getting smacked on the nose by a bashing begonia in Herbology and Michael, on Neville's orders, having to accompany her to the hospital wing. Elodie and Nathalie had offered to take her, but Neville had vetoed that at once. Hope suspected that he didn't trust the pair of them any more than she did.
"Miss Lupin?" Edgecombe sounded impatient at her hesitation.
"I'll read it out, Professor," Elodie piped up from the neighbouring desk, and for a second Hope was wrong footed, thinking that Elodie being kind for once and trying to spare her feelings. Then she realised that Elodie had no intention of reading her own summary and was trying to snatch the parchment from Hope's desk.
"That won't be necessary Miss Carmichael," their teacher replied. "Miss Lupin, we don't have all day and we are already behind schedule."
"Professor, I can't."
The woman eyed her with frosty disapproval.
"Have you done the homework?"
"Yes."
"Then you will read it out to us. You know the rules of this class, Lupin, and you are not exempt from them, no matter how many important friends and family members you have."
Stung by the injustice of this and the irrelevance of the comment, Hope shot to her feet, snatched up her parchment, tossed back her hair and read out.
"Fenrir Greyback is a werewolf. He is an evil, dangerous man and he deserved to die in the war for everything he did. He attacks innocent people, whether it is on the full moon or not. He has caused terrible pain and suffering and he should still be rotting in prison.
Remus Lupin is also werewolf. He is kind and good and brave. He fought in both wizarding wars and saved people's lives and he got an Order of Merlin, first class. Remus Lupin takes Wolfsbane potion every full moon and he is never dangerous. He has never attacked anyone.
Werewolves are all different. Just like other human beings. You should never judge one person based on the actions of someone else."
A heavy silence fell over the classroom following her speech. She thumped the parchment back down in the desk and glared back at her professor, expecting to see fury at her blatant disregard of the homework brief, but there was a different expression there. She couldn't quite make out what it was, but it definitely wasn't anger.
"Thank you, Miss Lupin, you can sit down."
Relieved, Hope sank back into her chair. Elodie, as always, was unable to keep her mouth shut.
"Nice story Lupin, but aren't you forgetting an important detail? Aren't you forgetting how the good werewolf once didn't take his wolfsbane and nearly killed some of his own students?"
Hope's blood ran cold. She knew the story. Her parents had told her about it long ago. She knew it was one of the reasons her father had not wanted to apply for the job a second time. She had not expected anyone else to know, but then Edgecombe would, having been taught by her father, and of course Elodie would know too. Her mother had been in the same year as Harry, Ron and Hermione, in Slytherin. And her father had been forced to leave his job because of horrible, slimy Professor Snape - head of Slytherin house - who had told all his students that Remus Lupin was a werewolf.
She swore under her breath at Elodie, unable to think of a suitably smart reply.
Edgecombe cleared her throat loudly but Elodie ignored her. "So much for not being dangerous. You know." She raised her voice so that everyone in the room could hear. "My mother says that werewolves should never have been allowed to breed at all."
"Miss Carmichael-"
"It should be a crime that you were even born, Lupin."
"Carmichael, be quiet now, or you will be going straight to Professor Vector with a week's worth of detentions." Edgecombe's voice was harsh. "Such language and prejudiced views are not tolerated at Hogwarts, and you know that fine well. I believe you have been warned about this before."
Edgecombe's anger appeared completely genuine and Elodie, clearly not expecting this from a teacher who normally treated her with favoured liking, glowered down at her desk. The tense atmosphere in the room was interrupted minutes later by the reappearance of Michael and Marion. Marion's nose was reduced back to its normal size and Michael was smiling cheerfully as he always did.
Great, Hope thought bitterly. Only five minutes too late.
oOo
March
Matters did not improve over the next few weeks. They lost their second match against Gryffindor, for which Hope felt responsible, although Cal and Dom both assured her separately that a few extra goals would not have made any difference. Rowan, suffering from the aftermath of stomach flu, had played dreadfully and with no decent reserve seeker, the game had been a non-starter.
"We're still in with a chance," Cal assured them. "Our first match has given us some leeway, and Slytherin lost at least three decent players last year. They're struggling to get back up to form. We need to thrash them after Easter and we'll be fine."
"Are you OK at the moment?" Dom asked, as Cal walked away. "You seem really down."
Hope shrugged.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said. "I just –"
She thought of the three unanswered letters that sat in the drawer by her bed and her stomach gave a guilty squirm.
"I wish I'd written to Dad more," she blurted out. "I haven't all term."
"You don't write many letters home, though, do you?" Dom said, smiling slightly. "He's probably used to it. Anyway, you'll see him soon, at Easter."
She shook her head. "I'm not going home for Easter."
"What?" Dom blinked at her in shock. "Of course you are. You always do. We always do."
"I've got work to catch up on, that's all."
"Work to catch up on?" Hope couldn't blame Dom for her incredulity. She had never shown the slightest interest in working harder than was necessary in term time, let alone during the holidays.
"Hope, what's going on?"
Dom was sympathetic and Hope haltingly explained, although she omitted some of the details, how she had left things with her father in January and how she hadn't responded to any of his letters since.
"But your dad won't still be angry with you," Dom said at once. "I doubt he was even angry in the first place. Your dad never gets angry. You know he'd want to see you at Easter."
Which was precisely the point, Hope thought. He had been angry with her. Had she done the decent thing and accepted his apology everything would have been fine. After her cold, indifferent attitude all term, she couldn't imagine that he'd want to see her at Easter at all.
O
During their final Defence class of the term, Hope wasn't listening to Alec Peter's summary about boggarts.
She was thinking of the letter which was sitting on her bedside table up in her dormitory.
Dopey,
Are you sure you won't come home for Easter, even for a few days? Victoire says the other Weasleys are. I know you didn't end the holidays on great terms with Mum and Dad but it really shouldn't become a big thing. They've missed you this term and they would love to see you.
And the full moon is Friday, remember. It would definitely cheer Dad up if you were here the next day.
Let me know. If you do, I'll come pick you up at the station. I can always take you back up to Hogsmeade myself after a week or so if you don't want to stay the whole time.
Love you,
T xxx
Hope wanted to go home, desperately. More than she ever had before. The idea of staying in a half empty castle without all the other Weasleys was very depressing. Pride and shame had so far prevented her from replying to Teddy's letter of two days previously.
Edgecombe's voice filtered through her thoughts and she jerked out of her daze.
"…Jang, Johns, Lennox, Longbottom and Lupin. This will be our last practical of the term, but I'll make sure everyone has had an equal number by the end of the year. If we have some time at the end and the boggart is still standing, then Okare and Peters might get a chance as well."
Hope's attention was returned in full to the situation now. Edgecombe had to be joking. She wanted them to fight a Boggart? In front of the whole class?
Karl, Alice, Marion and Michael were already on their feet looking eager to begin, but Hope stayed put. She sensed the blood leaving her cheeks but forced it back with a morph.
"Scared, Hopeless?" Elodie sniggered, seeing that she hadn't moved.
Hope would take even Elodie's taunts if it meant she didn't have to witness her worst fear in front of her classmates. She took a deep breath and addressed the teacher politely.
"Professor, please can I be excused from the practical?"
The teacher sighed in irritation. She had not been in a good mood recently.
"Why should you be excused?"
"I just - I don't want to have to do it."
"I've told you before that you are not exempt from the rules of this classroom. We all have to do things we don't want to from time to time."
"But professor, that's not fair!"
"Life isn't always fair. Now, come up to the front. I won't tell you again."
Hope got up shakily and took her place behind Michael. She watched, heart thumping, as her other four classmates successfully transfigured the boggart into amusing parodies of their worst fear. How on earth was she supposed to make her worst fear funny?
Perhaps I can pretend I'm afraid of something else, spiders or something, she thought wildly, as Michael's boggart showed him drowning, only to be rescued half a minute later by a friendly looking octopus, which threw him cheerfully into the air as a dad might throw a young baby. The class laughed and the boggart seemed to pause. But it did not hesitate further as Hope stepped forward, and it was well aware that she was not afraid of spiders.
The scene appeared, terrifyingly lifelike, before her eyes, as the laughter brought on by Michael's boggart died away. Her mother and Teddy lay before her in a pool of their own blood, their eyes blank and staring. Next to them, her father gasped for breath, still alive but barely. A wound gaped open on the side of his neck.
Hope's hand shook violently as she pointed her wand. Nothing remotely amusing came to mind. "Riddikulus."
Nothing happened.
"Riddikulus!" The incantation was louder this time. There was a loud crack.
The scene changed. This time her father lay lifeless on the ground. Her mother shook his shoulders ineffectually, tears running down her cheeks.
"Riddikulus."
Blood poured from three slashes on Teddy's neck while both his parents stood there, unable to assist him.
Hope took a step backwards, trying to focus her vision. She could do this. She had to. Everyone was watching. She took a deep breath and pointed her wand again. Then several things happened at once. Michael, who had been watching in horror, stepped towards her, his own wand out. Professor Edgecombe strode forward too, but as Hope cried Riddikulus for the fourth time, the scene changed, and this time the spell seemed to have worked, even though Hope had not held a particular vision in mind. Her parents stood there, unscathed, holding a baby. That baby, with wide blue eyes and a tuft of scarlet hair, was surely her. They were both looking down at the bundle of blankets with identical, loving expressions on their faces. Her mother's eyes were filled with tears of joy. Teddy – presumably seven years of age, if the baby was her – bounced up and down on the balls of his feet to try and look too, and her mother lowered the baby gently to his level.
Hope didn't have time to process what she was seeing before her professor gave the harsh command of the spell and the boggart exploded completely.
Hope stared up at Edgecombe, expecting to see irritation that she had not been able to tackle the boggart efficiently. There was a different emotion there, a very deep and soulful one. Was it pity? Regret? Guilt? She had no idea at all. Everything had happened so fast.
Everyone was quiet, most people avoiding Hope's eye, except Michael, who was still standing next to her. He patted her on the arm sympathetically and she felt a rush of affection for him. Then Elodie's smug tones broke the silence.
"So was it your dad that did all that, Lupin? I thought he was good and brave and never attacked anyone."
"Miss Carmichael, kindly-"
The teacher's sentence was cut off. Fury building up in her, Hope snatched a large bottle of ink from the front desk and threw it as hard as she could across the room. Her aim was true – skilled chaser as she was – and the bottle hit Elodie square in the face. Ink exploded everywhere and Elodie screamed in pain.
"Hope Lupin!" Whatever expression had previously been on her teacher's face, there was no mistaking the anger now. "How dare you behave like that!"
"She started it," Hope protested. "Didn't you hear what she said?"
"Nothing excuses violence," Edgecombe said coolly. She strode over to Elodie to assess the damage, waving her wand and muttering. Within thirty seconds the ink was cleaned up. Elodie had a large lump on her head but seemed otherwise OK, despite the tears still pouring down her cheeks.
"We'll get you checked over by the nurse," Edgecombe sighed. "As for you, Lupin…"
Hope watched sullenly as the teacher waved her wand at a piece of parchment on her desk. Text appeared on it instantly and it curled itself into a scroll. "I'd like you to go and see Professor Flitwick. You are to take him this."
Hope knew only too well that arguing was not going to help, but the injustice was making her blood boil. She had been forced to witness a horrific scene in front of her classmates, been mocked openly for it, and yet she was the one being punished?
"This is so unfair," she raged, snatching the parchment and stamping over to her desk to retrieve her bag. She shoved her book in it with a thump. "You didn't make Elodie fight the stupid damn thing. And now she gets to humiliate me and sit there all smug, while I get punished?"
"I didn't throw an ink bottle at your head though, did I, you stupid cow," Elodie shot back, still rubbing her forehead. Hope felt grim satisfaction to see the egg-shaped lump getting bigger as they spoke. "You could have killed me."
"Miss Carmichael, I would advise you to keep your mouth shut," Edgecombe said sharply, as the class watched, agog. "Or you will be going to see Professor Flitwick as well."
"It would hardly be a loss, would it?" Hope snarled at Elodie, as Edgecombe tried to escort her out into the room. She threw off her teacher's hand. "You've got some nerve saying that it's a crime my dad had kids. Your parents probably wished you'd never been born when they found out what an evil bitch you are."
"Lupin, get out of my classroom." Professor Edgecombe was white as chalk now. "As you can't be trusted to act your age, you are to go across the hall to the staffroom and give that letter to whichever teacher is there, so that they can escort you to Professor Flitwick in person. If no one is there you will wait until I come to you. Do you understand me?"
Hope didn't reply, turned on her heel and stormed off towards the staffroom.
O
The staffroom was empty. Hope threw her bag on the floor and slumped into a chair at the end of the table, trembling.
She uncurled the parchment she had been given and scanned the text. If she was to give this to a teacher she was determined to know what it said. It explained how she had lashed out at Elodie and could have gravely injured her. It stated that Hope would be given a long detention the next two evenings, and requested that Professor Flitwick write to Hope's parents, as an extra warning.
It didn't mention the boggart at all.
Incensed, Hope slammed the note back down on the table. The image of her family bleeding to death burned suddenly on her retinas and she shook her head violently to get rid of it.
"Hope?"
Professor Longbottom was standing in the doorway, looking confused, his arms full of large, wriggling fruit-like objects.
"Are you alright?"
Hope did not speak, merely held out the scroll of parchment. Neville placed the fruits carefully in a box in the corner and took it from her. His expression became more serious as he read the text to the end.
"Professor Flitwick isn't here," he said, looking up at her. "He's had to go home unexpectedly. He'll be gone until the holidays now."
Another silence.
"Shall we have a chat?"
Hope shook her head, then nodded, then shrugged.
"Come on," Neville said. "Let's go to my office."
Hope's stomach churned unpleasantly as she followed him along the corridors. She was very much in awe of Neville, and did not want him to be angry with her as well.
When they arrived in his office, Neville pulled a tartan tin off a shelf, looking at it somewhat fondly, and offered Hope a biscuit from inside.
She shook her head.
"No thanks."
He took one himself and sat down, rereading the letter. Then he looked up at her.
"Is there any particular reason why you hurt Elodie?"
"She made fun of me." Hope scowled. "She said horrible things about me and Dad and it's so unfair because she didn't even have to fight the stupid boggart herself. Although God know what she's afraid of. Probably running out of lipstick or something ridiculous like-"
"Hope." Neville sounded stern as he cut across her and Hope checked herself. It was easy to forget that the Neville who came round sometimes in the holidays to laugh and joke with her parents was a different Neville to the one she knew at school. Neville in the holidays was still professional, but he always joined in with the teasing jokes and light hearted comments shared by the members of her extended family. Professor Longbottom had to be completely fair and impartial and would never be one to favour a student because he was friends with their parents.
"So you were studying boggarts?" Neville said, his tone calm. "You know, that was the first subject your dad did with us, when he taught here himself. It was a very good lesson!"
"Yes, but would Dad have made you fight it, if you didn't want to?" Hope asked bluntly. "I asked Professor Edgecombe if I could be excused and she said no. My dad would not have done that."
Neville looked uncomfortable and Hope knew she had done it again. Crossed a line that shouldn't be breached at school. She registered dimly that she had put Neville in a difficult position. He was a straight and honest person, but he was hardly going to side with a student over one of his colleagues.
"No, I don't think he would have done," he said after a thoughtful pause, surprising her by answering at all. "But all teachers have different rules. Can I ask why you didn't want to?"
Because I knew that it would become my family, all dead or dying from a werewolf attack. It's not a fun thing to share with your classmates, is it? Especially when half of them don't like you.
She couldn't get the words out.
"It's personal," she mumbled. "You shouldn't have to show your worst fears to people you don't like when not even your friends and family know about them."
Neville was looking very grave.
"Hope, I will have a word with Professor Edgecombe," he said at last. "I happen to agree that you should not have been forced to tackle a boggart against your wishes. It is an extremely personal thing. However," he tapped the letter that now lay on the desk in front of him. "You could have done Elodie serious harm. You must know that you can't be allowed to lash out at someone just because they say something you don't like. The teachers are much better equipped to deal with unkind and unpleasant behaviour and you are aware of that. Professor Flitwick would say the same thing if you were speaking to him right now."
Hope flushed a deep, dull red. Being told off by the people she liked and admired was a hundred times worse than being reprimanded by people she didn't care about, like Edgecombe. Even so, she was not going to apologise for hurting Elodie, the girl she despised. Not when she hadn't even been able to make amends with her own dad for a full term.
"Have you talked to anyone about what you're afraid of?" Neville asked, more kindly, after another blank silence. "There are plenty of people you can go to, Hope. I'm here, and Professor Flitwick is normally, of course. Or your friends. Or your parents and Teddy. I can assure you that none of us would ever want you to suffer in silence."
I tried to talk to my parents and they snapped at me and sent me to my room.
You know that's not fair, came the instant reply in her head. You know they were trying to take everything in themselves that night. You didn't even tell them what was wrong, and they tried to talk to you the next morning and you ignored them.
"Are you going home for Easter?"
She shrugged, thinking of Teddy's unanswered letter upstairs.
"I think it might be a good idea," Neville said. "We never used to go home for Easter in our day, but it's commonplace now and we encourage it for those who have places to go. Life is intense here, and it's good to have a proper break."
Hope stared at the desk in front of her. Neville sighed, but the stern tone had disappeared from his voice as he continued.
"I will talk to Professor Flitwick when he is back, and I will have a word with Professor Edgecombe as well. You will do your detentions this week as requested, but I don't see any reason to write to your parents at this stage. I would suggest talking to them about this yourself, though."
Hope nodded stiffly.
"My door is always open, whether you're in my house or not," Neville finished. "Remember that."
Hope knew a deep pang of regret as she left the office. She remembered the sorting hat's insistence that Gryffindor would be the best house for her. If she had listened, Neville would be her head of house and she would be in a tower with the Gryffindor girls, who were cliquey but otherwise friendly. She would see James and his fun group of friends all the time, and lovely, kind Michael, not horrid Elodie and stupid, childish Alec Peters.
But you wouldn't be with Dom.
Dom – along with Roxanne - was her best friend in the world. Dom had been so happy that they were in the same house.
Hope sighed heavily and mooched down to The Great Hall for dinner.
O
"What happened with the Boggart again?"
Dom and Roxanne had been delighted when she had told them she was coming home for Easter after all, and the three of them were now sitting in a train compartment chatting about the events of the past term.
Hope screwed up her face, trying to remember. Everything had happened so fast.
"So I tried to get out of doing it, because I knew what it would be and I didn't want anyone to make fun of me. Then Edgecombe made me."
She swallowed. She had already told her friends what form the Boggart took. She was not prepared to describe it again.
"I just froze. I couldn't do anything. The spell wouldn't work however many times I said it. So Edgecombe started coming forward, and then... it's all a blur. I did manage to change it - it was still Mum and Dad, but Teddy was young and I was a baby. So I guess I must have done the spell last second before she stepped up? We were supposed to make it funny, but it looked like a normal scene. But then how are you supposed to make your parents dying funny? Then Edgecombe said the spell properly and the Boggart went away."
Dom put her arm round Hope, whose face had fallen at the memory of the scene.
"I hate her," she burst out. "Dad taught boggarts as well, when he was at Hogwarts. Neville told me. He would never have made anyone face it if they didn't want to. No chance."
"I hope I never have to do it," Dom gave a shudder. "Especially not in front of everyone."
"What would yours be?" Hope was suddenly curious.
"Probably being in hospital," Dom mumbled. She had a terrible fear of hospitals. "Or maybe just me. But how I was… before, you know. How people think I'm supposed to be."
"Not how we think you're supposed to be," Hope said fiercely. "We think you're supposed to be exactly how you want to be."
Dom gave her a small smile.
"What about you Rox?"
Roxanne did not answer for quite a while.
"I think it would be my parents splitting up," she said eventually. "And it's all my fault. Sometimes I'm scared it really will happen. I swear their worst arguments are when I've done something bad."
Hope thought of George and Angelina. It was true they often were at loggerheads, but there were other times when, looking at them, you couldn't imagine two people more suited to each other. She could remember them dancing at Charlie and Alex's wedding, completely in their own little world, gazing into each others' eyes for the slow songs and falling about in hysterics for the faster ones.
"Rox, I'm sure they'd never split up!" Hope tried to reassure her friend. "They do seem happy most of the time. And-"
She broke off as the door slid open and Albus's earnest little face appeared. Scorpius was right behind him.
"Can we join?"
"Yeah!"
"What would your boggart be?" Roxanne asked the two boys as they sat down and Albus, sugar addict as always, pulled out a bag of sweets and started handing them round.
Neither of them replied and Hope certainly wasn't going to press them, after her own experiences. She changed the subject hastily and resumed her rant about Edgecombe. Scorpius joined in at once.
"She's not nice to me either," he finished. "I think she hated my dad at school. He was in the year below her."
"She not always horrible to me," Hope mused. "I can't make her out, it's so weird. Sometimes I think she's OK but then other times she's bizarre. She definitely doesn't treat anyone else in the class the way she treats me! Ron says it's because of Hermione."
"Nah, I don't think so," Al said. "She likes Rosie. Surely if she was going to hate anyone because of Aunt Hermione it would be her actual daughter."
"All teachers like Rosie," Scorpius pointed out, and Hope rolled her eyes in acknowledgement.
"Maybe it's because of your dad, like with Scorpius. She might hate werewolves," Roxanne suggested.
Hope pondered this. "I wondered that, but I don't think it can be the reason. We did werewolves a few weeks ago, and Elodie was saying horrible things. Edgecombe told her off, was super strict with her. She's normally nice to Elodie – she was friends with her Dad at school. So she wouldn't have done that if she hated werewolves, would she?"
"Maybe she loves werewolves!" Albus said. "Maybe she was in love with your dad. No, seriously," he insisted, as Roxanne started giggling. "That's what happened with Snape. You know… Severus." His mouth twisted in disgust. "The man my parents gave me my middle name for. He hated Grandpa – Dad's Dad - at school, but it turns out he was in love with Grandma Lily. That's why he hated Dad so much when he taught him, even though Dad didn't really do anything wrong himself."
Dom was looking thoughtful, but Hope shook her head.
"It can't be that either," she said. "Edgecombe wasn't at school with either of my parents – there's too big an age gap, and there's no way she was in love with Dad. I mean, yeah he taught her, but only for a year and it sounds like he barely remembers her."
"Maybe they were secretly in love then." Roxanne was still chortling. "Or maybe she fancied him and he never knew."
"Eww!" Hope hit Roxanne on the arm, though gently. "He was her teacher, and way older. Who would fancy my dad, anyway?"
"Your mum must have done." Dom was laughing as well now. "He's kind of good looking, Hope, especially when he was younger. Harry's got some old photos of him."
Hope screwed up her nose. "Can people please stop telling me that my family are good looking. People go on about Teddy all the time – Natalie said once that he was sexy." She gave an exaggerated retch. "Going on about Dad is even more gross."
"Sorry." Dom grinned. "It's not all about looks, though, is it? Your dad's like… one of the nicest people in the world. Maybe Edgecombe thought so too."
Hope was not impressed. "Can we change the subject please," she said firmly. "Edgecombe does have a problem with me. I'm sure of it. But she did not fancy my dad. No way."
That wasn't the reason she wanted to change the subject. Her insides were churning unpleasantly at Dom's last words. One of the nicest people in the world. And she had spent the whole term ignoring his letters.
O
Teddy was waiting for her at the station. Alone.
"How's Dad?" Hope said anxiously, as soon as she had hugged him hello.
"He's OK, don't worry. He was asleep when I left but he's fine. Mum was called into work last minute though. It sounded pretty serious – Red alert for the Aurors."
"That's the second highest, isn't it?" Hope knew yet another wave of anxiety. "Do you know what it's about?"
"No idea," Teddy said. "Harry's been called in too. I saw Ginny just now, but she didn't know the details either. Red alerts are fairly common Dope. At least one or two a year. Don't look so worried!"
Hope was very quiet as they left the station and Teddy summoned the Knight Bus. He hoisted her trunk into the luggage racks, paid both their fares, with a little extra for hot chocolate, and then chivvied her the stairs that spiralled over the driver seat. Emerging onto the upper deck, Hope was surprised by how quiet it was, then remembered that several buses ran on the Hogwarts Express days. No doubt they'd missed the main rush when the train had first disembarked.
"Hello!" Teddy was waving at the seats at the back. Hope immediately recognised two of his school friends; Dougal, Hufflepuff's former quidditch captain, and Clara, who had been in Teddy's year in Ravenclaw and who now worked as a writer for the Magizoologist.
"What are you two doing on here?" Teddy enquired, leading Hope over to sit in the seats opposite.
"We had lunch in Diagon Alley and now we're going to Jessye's. But someone still hasn't got round to booking his apparition test." Clara shot Dougal a pointed look. "And I've got a bit of a headache so didn't fancy Floo. Forgot it was the back from school rush today, but we seem to have lucked out with a quiet bus."
Unenthusiastic as she was for additional company, Hope was nevertheless relieved that this intervention meant that she was not required to talk, and she stared out of the window without taking in the views as the conversation drifted to people she didn't know and incidents she had not been involved in.
"How's the quidditch cup looking, Hope?" Dougal enquired, looking over at her. "I hear Hufflepuff aren't maintaining my high standards."
Hope managed a half smile and shook her head. "Still all to play for this year."
Dougal seemed satisfied with this short response, but Teddy shot his sister a mildly concerned look before turning back to Clara, who was talking about her most recent article.
"You're sure your Dad will be OK to chat about it next week? I can always push it back again if not."
"He'll be fine, Clara. He's always back to work the day after the full moon, so next week will be no issue."
"OK, if you're sure," Clara looked animated. "Tell him I really appreciate it. He's always such a help. Come on Dougal, this is us."
The bus had stopped next to a row of neat brick houses with different coloured doors and pretty flowers in the front gardens.
"Are they together?" Hope asked Teddy, as his two friends stepped off the bus and it zoomed away.
Teddy let out a bark of laughter. "Dougal and Clara? Merlin, no. Love them both dearly but she's always in tenth gear and he spends most of his days sleeping. Not exactly a match made in heaven. They're good friends. Jessye's having our group round to dinner tonight. I was invited but I wanted to spend it with you, Mum and Dad.
Hope managed a second, tiny twitch of the lips in response to this reminder of Teddy's many school friends, who he still kept in touch with and met up with on a regular basis. She had always wondered if she would find the same thing at Hogwarts. It seemed unlikely now. The conductor brought their hot chocolate and Hope pushed the ornate, silver spoon round with her finger, waiting for it to cool.
"You OK?" Teddy said, looking at her in concern, after several minutes of silence. "You aren't normally this quiet after a term. Where's all your quidditch talk?"
"I'm fine," she said. "Quidditch is good. We're in with a good chance of the cup again, even though we lost to Gryffindor, because Gryffindor were slammed by Hufflepuff. We just need to beat Slytherin by enough points. I'm tired. That's all."
"Fair enough."
They sat in silence for a few more minutes.
"How's your work?" Hope said at last.
"It's really positive, actually." Teddy sounded animated. "Everything's starting to take shape. I'm still hopeful about this being the right way to approach it, and hearing about Greyback at Christmas made me even more determined to-"
At the mere mention of the name, Hope burst into tears.
"Hope!" Teddy looked appalled as he closed the gap and put an arm round her, pulling her towards him. "Hope, don't cry. You never cry! What on earth's wrong?"
Haltingly, through many choked sobs, she told Teddy what had happened with the boggart, and how awful it had been and how she had been having nightmares all term.
"And- and that's not the worse part," she hiccoughed. "I haven't written to Dad since Christmas, even though he sent me letters and apologised for being angry with me that night and asked me to write back. But I didn't. Not once. And I keep thinking about Greyback coming and attacking them, and you... But I still didn't write. What if something had happened and I'd never bothered to make things right again?"
"Hope, calm down," Teddy said gently. "No one's been attacked. Everything's OK. Dad's fine too. He mentioned that you hadn't written back to him but he's not angry about it. I don't think there is anything to make right. We've still had bits of news from you and you weren't the world's greatest letter writer to begin with, were you?"
Hope dragged her sleeve over her eyes.
"I didn't say goodbye properly after Christmas and then I told them I wasn't coming home for Easter."
Teddy conjured her up some tissues.
"I don't think they bought your excuse that you needed to stay at school and study..." He prodded her shoulder affectionately. Hope merely sniffed. "But I do reckon you're overthinking this. Everything's fine. They'll be delighted to see you and that'll be it. You'll see."
Hope was silent for a little while, watching the blur of green and grey outside the window.
"So you chucked an ink bottle at Elodie's head, huh?"
Teddy's brown eyes were sparkling. Hope managed a reluctant smile.
"She deserved it," she said, her voice still thick. "I guess I shouldn't have told her that her parents wish she'd never been born. But she deserved the lump on the forehead. One hundred percent."
"Now that sounds more like the Hope I know," Teddy said, grinning at her fondly.
"Don't tell Mum and Dad though," she added, finally reaching for her hot chocolate and taking a large gulp. It did improve her mood instantly.
Teddy nodded in understanding.
O
The house was quiet when they got back. Teddy put Hope's trunk in a corner and Hope looked round the familiar kitchen, feeling a welcome rush of calm. She tried to imagine being in her dormitory alone, while all the Weasleys were back at home. This had been the right decision.
"Teddy?"
Their father was pale and tired as he came down the stairs. He stopped short in the doorway at the sight of his daughter.
"This is unexpec-"
Hope had thrown herself at him and hugged him before he could finish the sentence.
"Hope?" Remus tried to take a step back and get her to look up at him but she held on tightly and in the end he just hugged her back, equally fiercely. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes," she mumbled into his chest. She knew that Teddy would tell their parents what had happened. 'Don't tell Mum and Dad' was their code for: you can tell Mum and Dad as long as I don't have to talk about it with them myself. 'Swear you won't tell Mum and Dad' was a different matter entirely.
"I'm just glad to be home."
"And we're glad to have you home," he said at once.
"Is Mum back?" Teddy asked, as the two of them broke apart.
"Not yet," he replied. His expression gave nothing away. Hope tried to work out if there was anything to worry about, but it was difficult. At times, their father was harder to read than the Ancient Runes syllabary.
Probably where you get it from.
Teddy made the dinner as Hope filled them in on her term at school, carefully avoiding anything to do with boggarts and werewolves.
"And Elodie's still staying away from Dom?" Remus asked.
"Yes," Hope said, relieved that this was a question that she could answer truthfully. "She's not a nice person - never will be - but she hasn't said a word to Dom all term, which is good because Dom's already worrying a lot about her OWLs. And people have heard about how angry Vector was last year, so no one else has said anything either. People aren't always friendly, but no one's being horrible to her anymore."
"I'm glad," he said sincerely. "How is the new defence teacher?"
"Oh, fine," Hope said, as Teddy caught her eye but didn't say anything. "Same old, really."
O
"Shouldn't Mum be back by now?" Hope said anxiously, glancing at the clock on the wall, which had just chimed ten. "Or said if she was going to be this late?"
"Red alerts generally mean late nights and little communication," Remus said. His tone was still casual, but Hope could not fail to notice his air of absolute exhaustion, and knew that had Mum not been out on a dangerous assignment, he would have been in bed long ago. He looked back at her with a slight crease in his forehead. "Are you sure you're OK? You don't look very well."
"I'm fine," Hope said stubbornly. "I-"
She broke off, a wave of relief crashing over her, as the front door opened and her mother walked in at last. She looked exhausted, her shoulder length hair very matted, several bruises flaring up on her cheek.
"Hope!" she said, looking round at the three of them. "You're home. I wasn't expecting you. Is everything alright?"
"Teddy picked me up," she said. "I wanted to come back for Easter after all."
Tonks beamed and hugged her. "It's lovely to see you."
She still looked exhausted, despite this, and winced slightly as she sat down in a chair.
"Dora?" Remus was looking at her with growing concern. "What's happened? Are you alright?"
Tonks did not reply for several long moments and Hope's heart thumped wildly, but eventually she nodded and looked Remus straight in the eye.
"Fenrir Greyback is dead."
A silence followed this statement. Hope reached out for Teddy's hand under the table and he squeezed her fingers reassuringly. Their father, stunned, stared wordlessly back at his wife.
"Are you sure?" he said at last.
"Yes." Her eyes were flinty. "I killed him myself."
OOO