O
CAERUS
Opportunity
November
Hope wasn't sure how she made it through the month that followed. The days merged into a meaningless expanse of time. Lessons passed in a haze of failing to grasp any new concepts. Dom and Roxanne were as supportive as they could be, but they had an ever increasing mountain of work to get through and Hope was seeing less of them than before. The girls in her dormitory ignored her as always. There was something sympathetic about their demeanour, even Elodie's - Hope supposed this was due to Flitwick's discussion with them - but that didn't mean they were friendly. They had no reason to be. Hope had never quite managed amicable, in the end.
One positive was that Adam seemed to be finding excuses to come and talk to her, and Hope was starting to wonder if Roxanne was right about him liking her. Her own feelings for him had not gone away, but they had been deadened, eclipsed by the terrible events of St Mungo's, the ever present worry about her mother's health, Teddy's job security, the curse in general. And then there was the added dread of the full moon, the second full moon of the month, which would fall directly on Halloween.
The first of November dawned and Hope was out of bed at the crack of dawn. It was a clear day, the sun bright in the sky, perfect for their quidditch practice later, but Hope could not think about that at all. She was one of the first down to breakfast and looked up every time an owl soared through the Great Hall, disappointed but unsurprised when none of them were addressed to her. It was only seven in the morning.
"Come on Hope, we'll be late," Dom said, appearing next to her with her broom underi her arm half an hour later. Hope had managed three mouthfuls of cereal. "You alright?" she added, noticing her expression. "You haven't eaten much."
"I'm fine." Dom had enough on her plate at the moment without Hope piling on her worries as well.
Quidditch practice went by in a blur of going through the motions, and Hope hurried back to her dormitory as soon as she could. Missed breakfast post was normally brought up to the dormitories by the house elves.
There was nothing on her pillow or on her nightstand. Hope, starting to feel panicked, traipsed up to the owlery to check the dropped mail pigeon holes.
Nothing for her there either.
She rifled through them again, checking every single one, but there were only a handful of letters and definitely nothing for her.
There had to be. Teddy always wrote to her after the full moon. First thing. Without fail. Surely he never would have forgotten to write on this one.
Dread began to pool in the pit of her stomach. This full moon had always had the potential for nasty consequences. Hope could still remember asking Teddy, many years ago, why Dad felt so ill after Halloween transformations. Mid winter, she had understood even then. More darkness meant longer nights, which in turn meant more moonlight. Halloween, the worst one of all, had confused her, and Teddy's reply, while severely simplified for her seven-year-old self, had hit her hard. The full story, told to her when she was twelve, had been more haunting still. How Halloween night many years ago had been the date of Voldemort's first fall, how Harry's parents had been killed, Sirius imprisoned, their other friend Peter lost forever to the dark side. How their father had spent month after month in exile and isolation during the years that followed. How that night had left a scar deeper and blacker than any bite could have done. And how every year on that day, the wolf was there to remind him of the tragedies of the past.
Hope knew that only one full moon since that night had fallen directly on Halloween. She also knew it had been bad. Bad enough that no one would tell her the details. That had happened before the invention of Wolfsbane, but who was to say this one wouldn't be even worse, now that Dad was many years older?
You'd have heard by now if something had gone wrong.
I should have heard anyway.
No news came from Teddy all day and it was another sleepless night and early rise. Dom and Roxanne were already in the library doing some last minute homework when she got down to breakfast, and Hope, sitting alone, chewed a piece of toast without tasting it, wondering if she should write to Teddy to check. Maybe he had owled but it had gone astray. Maybe he had written the letter but had then been caught up in some work and forgotten to send it. Maybe -
"Hey Hope." Natalie tapped her on the shoulder and Hope was jolted out of her thoughts. "This came when you were at quidditch practice yesterday. I forgot to give it to you, sorry!"
She held out an envelope with Hope Lupin written on the front. Hope recognised Teddy's small, rounded writing at once, and reached out a hand, heart thudding deep in her throat.
"You've had this the whole time?" Her voice was strained.
"Yes." Natalie faltered at Hope's expression. "Was it important? I genuinely forgot, Hope. Honest. It was delivered to the common room after normal post hours and I put it in my bag to give to you. I didn't see you all day and I only remembered now."
There was not a trace of mockery in Natalie's face. Elodie was next to her but wasn't even watching, unconcerned and clearly impatient to be on her way, and Hope understood that this was a simple mistake. There was no trick or malice involved. Natalie had taken receipt of a letter and forgotten about it.
It could have been anyone.
She still felt so angry. All that dread and panic. The sleepless night. Wondering and worrying if something had happened, if she was to be met in the morning with more bad news, when the answer had been in the dormitory the whole time.
If you bothered to talk to them at all, you would have asked if any post had come for you. It's your fault as much as hers.
She knew her face had frozen, probably in an unpleasant expression.
"I wasn't keeping it from you on purpose, you know!" There was a bite of impatience to Natalie's voice now. "If it was that urgent you could have asked around."
Precisely my point.
"Yeah," she managed, snatching the letter. "I know. It's fine."
"Freak," she heard Elodie mutter to Natalie as she stumbled away. "Don't know why you bothered at all. I'd have burned the damn thing."
Hope found a secluded corner of a deserted corridor and slumped down against the wall to read the letter. It was quite short.
Hey Dopey,
Sorry this letter's a bit later in the day. Dad's OK though. Worse than usual, I'll be honest with you, and we had a bit of a scare this morning, but he is recovering now. This was always going to be a bad one, given the date. Mum and I will stay with him all day. I'll let you know if anything changes, but otherwise assume all is fine.
Mum's doing much better too. Harry's insisted on signing her off practical work until after Christmas though, so she's bouncing off the walls.
I'm sorry to put this in a letter but I know you'd want to know and it's not like we can meet up in Hogsmeade at the moment... I'm going to be off work for a bit. Won't go into details here but you can probably guess why. Don't worry about it for the moment. Might come to nothing. I just didn't want you hearing about it from anyone else.
Enjoy the rest of term and we'll be looking forward to having you back at Christmas. Also, some good news to be announced in a couple of weeks!
Love Teddy
Her heart rate slowed as she read the words again.
Dad's OK... That, at least, was a relief, a huge weight already lifted from her shoulders.
...bit of a scare this morning... Hope tried to dull her imagination. Teddy said he was recovering now; maybe it was best she didn't know the details.
...might have to be off work for a bit... That was bad news. Did St Mungo's know what he had done with the cure? They must do. Her father had said that they would realise in the end.
...good news to be announced... A real cure? Harry had said that Hestia and Jessye were making significant progress.
Hope wondered if Elodie and Natalie had read this. For all Natalie's genuine demeanour, she wouldn't put it past them. Even if they had, she supposed it didn't give much away. You would need to know exactly what Teddy was talking about to gage any meaning from it. Then her eyes flicked up to the top of the letter, bringing her further reassurance.
Dopey.
Recent civility or not, Elodie would never have passed up an opportunity to mock her for that particular nickname.
o
December
Only a week later, the news that Teddy had hinted at was announced by Vector.
"A cure has been found," she said, addressing the school at large after dinner one evening.
It took several minutes before she was able to make herself heard over the storm of cheers and excited chatter.
"A cure has been found," she repeated. "A collaboration by our own researchers in St Mungo's and a laboratory in The States. It has been extensively tested and confirmed as safe for muggles and wizards alike, however -" she had to raise her voice over increased hubbub. "That does not mean that we can drop our guard immediately. The cures are being replicated in safe environments, and Hogwarts will receive a dose for each of you very soon, hopefully as early as the first week in December. As to the roll out of vaccines in the muggle world, this will be significantly slower, for obvious reasons. Please continue to be sensible, and remember this curse is not beaten until the whole world is free of it."
"What's up, Hope?" Dom asked, when they had been dismissed. "It's good news. Even if the muggle world has a long way to go, it's still a massive step forwards."
Hope didn't want to share her worries about Teddy. Not yet. No one else in the family knew what had happened in that room at St Mungo's and Hope intended for it to stay that way.
"I know it is! I'm just tired," she said.
"Well, maybe this will cheer you up," Roxanne said. "Hogsmeade will reopen once we've all been given the cure, and they'll be keen to get business up and running again as soon as possible, which means Underworld party might be back on!"
"Fantastic," Hope said dismally. "I'm too young to go, remember?"
"Is that the right attitude?" Roxanne demanded. "I'm already working on a way round that."
O
"Come on, it'll be great."
"Rox, don't make her if she doesn't want to."
"But she does want to, don't you?"
Hope did want to, very much. The Christmas party at Underworld Lounge in Hogsmeade was legendary, an end of year celebration that had taken place every year since the club had opened in the early 2000s. Hogwarts students who were of age were allowed to attend, as long as they signed in and out of school and were back by the 2am curfew. Dom and Roxanne, with February birthdays, had both missed out narrowly in their sixth year. Hope was far too young, both for this year and next. She would be allowed to go in her final year.
When you have no friends to go with.
It would be so much fun, a way to let off steam after a difficult year, celebrate the good news that a verified cure was now blazing through the wizarding world and starting to make progress in the muggle world too, and generally have a great time with her friends.
There was, of course, one problem. It was strictly forbidden to go if you weren't of age.
"It's too risky," she insisted. "So many people will be there who could turn me in."
"Hmm, if only you could change your appearance at will so that no one recognised you," Roxanne said.
"It's not just that. I'd be hanging around with you two. People are going to wonder who the hell your new friend is, aren't they? Someone's bound to put two and two together."
Roxanne shrugged. "It's not only students who go. You could be my pen pal. Or Dom's Veela cousin who wants to experience the British student lifestyle. They've opened the floo borders with France now, so that won't even seem suspicious."
Hope was starting to feel convinced.
"Don't they have other checks to make sure you're of age?"
"In theory, but they aren't strict about it. They want as much business as possible so they aren't going to care if you're underage as long as you're not a Hogwarts student. They can't afford to get on the wrong side of the staff here in case old Vector bans us all from going, but they'll let anyone else in. Morella used aging potion last year and the bouncer at the door didn't even question her. It was the stamp thing that caught her out. She didn't know about that, but now we do and you must be the only person who can get round it!"
Hope studied the backs of her hands. She had been experimenting for the last half an hour with forcing inked tattoos onto her skin. It was as easy as changing her hair colour.
"And you're sure the stamp works like that? Fades if you're an underage Hogwarts student but stays in place for everyone else?"
"Yes! Well... ninety nine percent sure..."
"Rox!"
"Look, if not, what's the worst that can happen? You'll just be sent back to school. Morella only got a detention for it. You'd probably get a bit more of a telling off, because Morella was nearly of age. But if you do get in it will be so worth it."
"Morella got out of school no problem without being caught?"
"Yep. With her invisibility cloak. That one you borrowed last year. Stuck really close to the guys she was with and made sure not to tread on anyone."
"We know someone else with an invisibility cloak," Dom said. She was also coming round to the idea the more they talked. "A much better quality one than Morella's. Someone who probably won't mind you using it, as he'll be able to go to the party himself."
Hope was so, so tempted. But it was stupid and reckless and she had promised her parents over the summer that she would be sensible.
You promised them you wouldn't take an illicit cure for the Narcoviral Curse. You never promised you wouldn't sneak out to a party.
"Adam will be going," Roxanne said slyly. "His birthday was a few weeks ago."
"I hardly want Adam to fall for a random Weasley cousin instead of me, do I?"
"Yeah, but he'll still be there. Having fun. Drinking. Dancing."
Hope tried not to imagine dancing all night with Adam in a club, but it was difficult.
"Elodie will notice I'm not in my dormitory for sure." Deep down, Hope knew if it had come to that lame an excuse, she was nearly out of them altogether.
"Oh come on!" Dom exclaimed, most disappointed in her. "We can find a way round Elodie Carmichael!"
"Please Hope," Roxanne begged. "Even if you were able to go next year we won't be in the country to come and have fun with you. We'll be travelling, and your seventh year is ages away. We'll be old and boring by then."
"I don't think you are ever going to be boring."
Hope was grinning.
"Is that a yes?"
"Of course it's a yes."
O
"Can I borrow your invisibility cloak next week?"
James's eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"What for?"
Hope had decided to let him in on the plan, instead of making up a cover story. James had a big mouth. The last thing she needed was him going on about Roxanne's previously unmentioned pen pal or Dom's mystery cousin over Christmas. But he was trustworthy when it mattered, and he loved a bit of mischief, so she told him. By the end, his eyes were gleaming.
"Your dad would be proud."
"My dad," she said firmly, "would be as far from proud as it is possible to be. You are not to tell him, or Mum or Teddy or anyone. Swear to me."
"Of course I swear," James snorted. "Solemnly swear."
O
A week later, Hope was glad she'd come without a doubt. The music was amazing, the club buzzing with life, and she felt more animated than she had in months. It had been so unbelievably easy. With the help of some Weasley products and her own morphing ability, she had faked an odd, clammy sickness late afternoon, well within view of Elodie, and allowed Dom to escort her out of the common room under the pretence of going to the hospital wing.
They had lain low for a couple of hours before sneaking off to the prefects' bathroom to get ready, Roxanne having enough weight within the student body to commandeer it and refuse entry to anyone else. Hope had decided against the veela look on the basis that too much attention was not sensible, and had opted instead for medium height, average build, shoulder length brown hair and hazel eyes, with as unremarkable a face as she could manage.
"You look exceptionally ordinary," Roxanne declared, grinning. "And it's perfect."
Getting out of the castle under the cloak packed tightly between Dom and Roxane had not been a problem. Once down in Hogsmeade, Hope had slipped out of sight, removed it and stowed it in her bag, before greeting Roxanne loudly and cheerfully outside the club under the guise of Sophie Wood, an old family friend who now lived in France but who would be staying with the Weasleys for Christmas.
Getting past the door bouncer had been easy - she had taken aging potion to be sure, but she doubted it would have made a difference - and then it had been a case of duping the stamp test. Dom went first, held out her hand, and Hope watched closely, holding the image of the stamp firmly in her mind as her turn came. She felt the ink touch her skin and forced the mental image to appear, replacing like for like the pattern that she knew would otherwise have faded from view. The bouncer looked at it closely for several long moments, and for a second Hope was convinced she had been found out, but then he grunted and moved on to Roxanne.
"See," Roxanne hissed, as she was admitted too. "Simple!"
They had been here for two hours already and time was flying.
"Let's get another drink," Roxanne said, as they paused in their dancing, signalling Hope and Dom over to the bar. Seeing that James and Adam were there too, Hope's heart rate accelerated.
"Hey Sophie," James said, shifting up to make room for them. "It's been ages since I last saw you. How've you been? How's Paris?"
Hope smiled. James might be arrogant at times but his solidarity meant a lot when it came.
"Not bad," she said. "Not quite as fast with the cure rollout as you guys, but we're allowed to travel if we've had it, so that's why I could come over. Roxanne told me all about the party so I thought I'd come and check it out."
"Definitely! It's the best one around." James indicated his friend. "This is Adam by the way."
It felt very odd to be introduced to a boy who had been occupying her thoughts for over a year now, and Hope's stomach gave the usual pleasurable jolt as she shook his outstretched hand.
The five of them made idle small talk as they waited for their drinks. James then became very interested in talking to a pretty, dark-haired Hufflepuff seventh year, and Roxanne, winking at Hope, pulled Dom off to the bathroom. Feeling a rush of confidence, Hope turned to Adam.
"Do you want to dance?" Then, as he looked hesitant, added hurriedly, "Just - just for fun, you know. I do have a boyfriend." She certainly didn't want Adam to get any ideas about 'Sophie's' intentions.
Adam agreed, looking more relaxed, and they headed over to the dance floor. He knew a lot more of the songs than Hope did, but Hope tried to sing along anyway, thankful that the music was very much 'dance around like an idiot' and not slow and romantic, à la Celestina Warbeck that Granny Molly was so fond of.
"Ooh you're having fun, I see!" Roxanne's dark eyes sparkled as she came towards them half an hour later. She seemed to have drank quite a lot in the time she and Dom had been absent. Her words were slurring and Dom gripped her arm tightly as she stumbled.
"She's got a boyfriend," Adam blurted out. Dom raised her eyebrows and Roxanne looked a little confused. "Yeah," she sniggered. "Yeah I know. Sophie, you coming for another drink?"
"Um. Yeah. Sure. In a minute."
"Sorry," Adam said, hanging back and looking very uncomfortable as they made to follow Dom and Roxanne over to the bar. "Sorry. That was really embarrassing. I - err. It's just, I kind of like someone, and she hangs out with those two all the time. Might be another cousin actually." He screwed up his face for a moment. "No," he said. "Not related. But you know - good friends, and, err..."
An enormous bubble of joy was swelling inside Hope's chest. That was definitely her. She kept her face politely inquisitive. "So you didn't want them getting the wrong idea and telling her you were here with someone else?"
"Yeah." Adam seemed heartily relieved that she had cottoned on so quickly. "Yeah. Kind of. Don't tell them though," he added, clearly horrified at what he had done. "They might tell her."
Hope couldn't resist this opportunity.
"But if you don't tell her and they don't tell her... how is she ever going to know that you like her?"
Adam screwed up his forehead. The thought had evidently not occurred to him. Not wanting to arouse suspicion, Hope said nothing more on the subject, but she floated round on a cloud for the rest of the evening, dancing with anyone who came near her and singing gibberish at the top of her voice, two in the morning coming much too soon.
Back at school, Hope relayed her conversation with Adam to Dom in whispers, as they climbed back up to Ravenclaw tower, deliberately lagging behind and letting the others from their house go ahead. They had already planned that Hope would sleep on one of the common room sofas under the cloak until early morning, then return to the dormitory sporting a still ill but recovering pallor.
Hope cast a quick glance around as they came through the doorway to the common room. It was deserted.
She pulled off the cloak, still laughing, let her morph fall away and turned back to Dom. "It was so funny when-"
She stopped short at the look on Dom's face. Dom was staring over towards the other side of the room, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. Hope, already fearing the worst, turned around. Professor Flitwick, unnoticed on her initial scan due to his tiny stature, was standing by the wall observing the two of them, his arms folded and his expression stern.
Crap.
O
Flitwick was surprisingly nice in the end, if a little resigned. "You are hardly the first underage student to try sneaking out to the Underworld Christmas party, Miss Lupin," he said, regarding her from behind his desk the following morning. "To my knowledge, you are the first person to get away with it, presumably because you are a metamorphmagus. I have to confess I never foresaw that as an issue."
Because Teddy would never have done this. Hope finished the sentence for him in her head, but was grateful that he didn't say the words out loud, merely rested his chin on his fingertips and surveyed her.
"These rules are in place for your own safety and what you did last night was reckless, especially in the current climate."
Hope nodded dutifully.
"You will do a week's detention in the new year."
She had been expecting far worse.
"And I will be writing to your parents today."
Hope's head jerked up. "Professor," she protested feebly. "Professor, please. Please don't tell them!"
"Hope, you cannot seriously think I have any choice in the matter," the little man sighed. "While you are at this school, the staff are responsible for your safety and welfare. You are not of age - not even close - and you were out of the castle all evening and for most of the night without permission. It is therefore my legal and moral obligation to inform your parents."
O
"How did he find out?"
"How do you think?"
The smug smile on Elodie's face that morning had been the confirmation.
"Bitch."
"I'm an idiot for thinking it would be that simple," Hope groaned. "Like she was ever going to buy that I was spending a night in the hospital wing on the evening of the Christmas party. I bet she went down to visit me before bed, acting all concerned, and when she had confirmed I definitely wasn't there left it as late as possible to tell Flitwick, to get me into maximum trouble. Bet Natalie was in on it too."
"Double bitch."
Hope stroked Oompa with her index finger and Oompa nibbled her fingernail.
"Are your mum and dad going to be cross?" Dom asked nervously.
Hope couldn't even answer that question. They were going to be furious. Angry that she was adding to their worries on top of everything else they currently had to deal with. The worst part was that she had been looking forward to Christmas, unfortunate circumstances aside, with both Teddy and her mother guaranteed to be at home for the full holiday and her father suffering no lasting effects from his most painful full moon in years. It would have been a nice family Christmas and she'd had to go and ruin it.
Roxanne wound a strand of blank hair round her finger, looking troubled.
"Hope, I'm sorry I made you come."
"You didn't make me," Hope assured her at once. "I wanted to. You know I did. It was my choice and it was totally worth it."
Was it worth it?
She supposed that would depend on her parents' reactions.
O
"…of all the stupid, ridiculous things to do."
"I was just having a bit of fun."
"You were out of the castle, in a night club, until two in the morning, when you're barely fifteen!"
"With a load of other students. I was safe the whole time. I didn't even drink."
"Oh come on, Hope. Is that true?" She flushed under her father's piercing stare as he spoke for the first time. Bending the rules was one thing. Lying to her parents was another.
"Didn't drink much," she amended. This, at least, was true. She had been having too much fun finding out that Adam liked her to bother with going up to the bar.
Her mother glared at her for a long moment, then shrugged.
"What's done is done, but as you have had a fair amount of celebration already, you can stay behind when we go to the New Year party at George and Angelina's next week."
"What?" Hope felt a wave of dismay and fury. "NO! Mum!"
She had been looking forward to this one so much, after the depressing event of last year's celebration - indeed, the events of the last year in general. The whole family would be going, even Teddy and Victoire, and everyone was keen to meet Fred's now not so secret girlfriend Alison who was staying with him over Christmas. And it would have been her last one with Roxanne and Dom before they went off travelling.
Then who will you hang out with?
"That's so unfair!" she raged. Her mother raised her eyebrows.
"How is it unfair? Punishment is an automatic consequence of breaking the rules. That's a standard agreement and you know that fine well. So please tell me how this is unfair?"
"For one thing, everyone knows Dad and his friends spent plenty of nights running around Hogsmeade during their last three years at Hogwarts."
The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. They hung in the air, and her parents exchanged an uncomfortable look.
"It's not the same," her mother said at last, after a stiff silence.
"Exactly!" Hope was well aware that she was on perilously thin ice, but fury at herself for ruining what should have been a lovely time with her family and family over Christmas was loosening her tongue. "It's a hundred times more stupid than what I did. I only wanted to have a bit of fun with my friends while they're still at school with me, and I have to be punished for that? Dad broke the rules every single month, he actually put people in danger and he got away with everything."
Remus flinched and jerked his head away as though Hope had physically hit him.
"Get upstairs," Tonks snarled, snapping completely. "Get upstairs and don't come down until your prepared to speak to us in a civil manner."
Shaking, Hope left the kitchen, not daring to look directly at either of them.
O
She waited until her mother had gone off on her evening run, knowing that by the time she had pounded out ten miles along the beach, all her anger would be burnt out and they would be able to have a normal conversation.
The situation with her father was far more complicated. Hope was now feeling sick every time she thought of her furious outburst. However willing he was to talk about other aspects of the Marauders' time at Hogwarts - James was especially fond of requesting stories from his school days - this was the one topic that was always skirted around. The Animagus transformations, the full moon escapades, the first steps that would eventually lead down the murky road to tragedy. Tragedies. Plural. Weren't those tragedies precisely why her father suffered so much every Halloween full moon, the very reason she had been so worried in November? With all that had happened since the summer, Hope knew that throwing such a delicate subject in her parents' faces had been an inexcusably low blow, regardless of her inner turmoil.
She crept downstairs ten minutes after her mother had left. Her father was seated at the kitchen table, reading a paper. She had done the same thing all those years ago after her night in the cellar, feeling just as nervous, equally afraid of seeing the suppressed anger and disappointment in his eyes. Except back then, it hadn't really been her fault, she hadn't understood what she had done wrong and he hadn't truly been angry with her. This was her fault, she definitely knew what she had done, and he must be furious with her under his usual mask of collectedness.
He looked up as she entered the room. His smile didn't reach his eyes, but his tone was as serene as ever.
"Your mum and I have had a chat. You'll be grounded for the entirety of the holidays, but if you stick to it you can come with us for New Year."
Hope felt this was more than she deserved.
"OK," she said in a minute voice. "Thank you."
She couldn't bear that smile. It was so different to his normal one, so forced and lacking in warmth.
So apologise. Be nice for once in your life. Say sorry.
"Dad, I'm - I'm sorry. For what I said."
He had not been expecting this, and she couldn't blame him for the surprised double take. She could count on one hand the number of times she had apologised in front of her parents over the last few years. But she knew that saying it now had made a difference. His face had softened.
"It's alright," he sighed, folding up the newspaper in his hands. "You were absolutely right about putting others in danger. We did. I did. Repeatedly. Nothing excuses it. I'm ashamed of it and I always will be. As for the 'getting away with everything', as you put it-" He focused on creasing the last fold between finger and thumb before looking up at her again, and after his previously controlled air of calm resolve, Hope could not have been less prepared for the sudden bitterness in his face, the haunted flicker in his eyes, the rawness of his voice. "I can assure you, Hope, that I was punished in kind. I paid the highest price of all. In the end."
He got to his feet and left the room. Hope stared after him mutely, a sickening swell of guilt and misery rising like bile in her throat.
Not worth it at all.
O
The argument with her parents was not spoken of again. Hope knew they had far greater worries than a night of broken rules. She wished she could take back the fiery words thrown out in anger and frustration, but her apology had been accepted, the argument closed and so Hope did her best to ignore her continuing pricklings of guilt.
"What's happening with your work?" she asked Teddy, the following day, having sought him out in his room for a proper catch up. He did not mince words.
"St Mungo's know," he said, casting aside the book he had been reading as she perched on his desk chair. "They know what I did. Or at least, they know I was involved in some way that goes against the hospital's code of conduct. I've been asked to suspend all research while they investigate further."
For all Hope had been expecting this, it was still a weight to the stomach.
"There'll be a hearing," Teddy continued. "Not at the ministry - it'll be dealt with internally, within St Mungo's. I could easily be dismissed for good."
"But you saved Mum's life," Hope hissed. "You saved her. How can they fire you for saving a life at a hospital?"
Teddy spread his hands in resigned fashion.
"I don't regret what I did, Dopey. I never will. But they have reason to do this. Phennah was right, I'm not a healer. Imagine if everyone went around overruling the healers when visiting their loved ones in hospital, just because they believed they had the knowledge and ability."
Teddy wasn't anyone, Hope scowled to herself. Teddy was Teddy and he had done right and their mother was alive and well because of it.
"Was it Phennah who reported you?"
"I think so. But,' he admonished, as Hope made an angry noise in the back of her throat, "I can't blame her for it. If it got out that she'd been aware of what happened and not reported it, then her job would be on the line as well."
Hope did not share Teddy's lack of ill feeling towards the healer at all, but she accepted his point of view with as much grace as she could manage.
"What about Hestia?" she asked. "Is she in trouble? For giving you the cure in the first place?"
Teddy shook his head. "Kingsley has taken full responsibility for that, so he'll be able to excuse her having it in her possession, even excuse me having it. That was all dealt with during the Cortez debate. It's what I did with the medicine that's the problem. Give it to a patient with no authorisation when I'm not licensed to treat patients in the first place."
"But can't Kingsley help?" Hope protested. "Can't he fight your corner? The risk you took means that Mum is better, and he's friends with her. And Dad. He loves them, even-" she thought of the Minister's face just over a year ago, full of joy and fondness for her parents as he watched them renew their vows. "He can't expect you to let her die."
Teddy lay back with his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.
"You know our friendship with the Minister can't get me out of this," he said. "I'm sure he's incredibly relieved that Mum's better, but the respect everyone has for Kingsley comes in part from the fact that he always does what's fair and just, with no personal bias. I'm being treated like anyone else in my situation, and they're right to do so. I just have to hope that the arguments work in my favour at the hearing."
"When will it be?"
"February at the earliest. Maybe March - it's not the hospital's biggest priority right now."
"That's ages not to be working though. Even if you get off in the end."
Hope tried not to think of the consequences. Two or three months added to the already long delay in Teddy's research.
"It'll fly by," Teddy said, sitting up again and smiling reassuringly at her. "I'm not going to mope around doing nothing, believe me. I'll be doing whatever study I can while I'm at home. The more research I've done, the more I can prove I'm on the right track with finding a permanent Lycanthropy cure, the stronger the case I'll have against dismissal."
Hope tried, without total success, to adopt Teddy's positive outlook.
"Does anyone else know what happened?"
"Apart from those who were in the room with us, and those now investigating within the hospital, the only ones who know are Kingsley, Ginny and Vic. The rest of the family will think I'm doing a period of study from home, while St Mungo's laboratories are being used for reproducing mass batches of the cure to be shipped off to muggle hospitals. It's not technically a lie," he hastened to add, gazing at her imploringly.
"Of course it's not a lie," she assured him, knowing that Teddy could not bear to be anything other than straight and honest. "And you don't have a choice. It's not like you can tell everyone what happened. What good would that do?"
"Exactly. If this gets out, St Mungo's may have no choice but to dismiss me, to avoid setting a precedent. I don't like being part of of a cover up-" His face twisted with guilt again "-but I don't think losing me or my research will help anyone, so it's better that it stays secret for now."
"You know my lips are sealed," Hope said, putting a finger up to them. "Who does your trial? Is it lots of people?"
Teddy laughed ruefully. "Trial sounds pretty ominous, Dope. It's only a hearing. It's normally three people. Old Henson, who's Head of the Disciplinary Panel, and then a couple of randomly selected members of the board. They are mostly a decent group. I'll have to hope I get a few sympathetic ears and that my research can back me up."
Hope nodded, picking at a splinter of wood on Teddy's desktop.
"Don't worry," Teddy said. Easier said than done. "You have a lot on yourself this year, especially with your exams coming up. How's revision going?"
Hope had barely given a second thought to her OWLs, and she couldn't bear to think of them right now either.
"Fine," she replied at once, avoiding his gaze. "Boring. I don't want to talk about school, I want to know proper gossip that the teachers never tell us. Is there any news on what The Crow is up to?"
"No, actually," Teddy said, after a moment's hesitation. "Not at all. It seems he's still lying low."
"How come?"
Teddy surveyed her. "Dad said he told you what Mum did when she came face to face with him? Pretended to hit him with a tracking spell?"
Hope nodded.
"It appears to have worked better than she could have imagined," Teddy said. "Nothing came of that awful magical dampening spell in the end, and that can't have been his intention. Phennah said herself how long that would have taken to create, and the Ministry are pretty sure he had big plans for it. But there haven't been any signs of other wizards falling ill like Mum did, other than the ones who were reported initially. He messed it up. He only had a small window of opportunity, and now the verified cures are being rolled out, he's missed his chance to get a hold over magical leaders."
"Surely he's planning something else?"
She was certain that she detected another shifty look in Teddy's eyes, but his reply gave nothing away.
"It's difficult to tell." He shrugged. "Possibly, but the more time that goes by without him acting, and the more muggles get given the cure, the less chance he has of success, regardless of what he's up to."
"And they don't have any leads on who he is or how to catch him?"
"It's only a matter of time. No one evades capture forever when this many people are on the case."
The situation still looked bleak to Hope.
"Let's look at the positives," Teddy said. "Cure's being rolled out. Mum's better. You're back for Christmas. First family Christmas we've had for ages, with all of us at home, and it will be lovely."
"If I hadn't ruined it yesterday."
The words slipped out on their own. Teddy's forehead knotted as Hope dropped her eyes to the floor again.
"You're not worrying about the row, are you? Mum and Dad are over it. They weren't model pupils at school themselves, as you know."
Which was precisely the point. Teddy didn't know the full extent of the argument.
"Hope?"
Shamefaced, Hope told Teddy what she had said to their father the night before.
"...and I feel awful and I said sorry, but-"
"Dad will know you didn't mean it," Teddy interjected softly. "It's all in the past now, especially as you apologised. You don't need to worry about that."
Again, easier said than done.
O
"Are you forgiven?" Roxanne asked, just over a week later. Hope, after ten days of model behaviour while grounded at home, had been allowed to go round to George and Angelina's house early to help with the party preparations. She, Dom and Roxanne, having set up a variety of interesting games that would definitely not involve hide and seek, were now up in Roxanne's bedroom getting ready.
"I think so," Hope replied, sitting by the mirror experimenting with different hair styles. "It's been great, being together as a family all Christmas. We've never had a Christmas like that, because Mum's always had shifts. So maybe getting grounded wasn't such a bad thing. We played games and went for walks. Very tame, but I think it was what we needed."
"Sounds calmer than ours," Dom said, rolling her eyes. "Victoire's been flying off the handle about everything. Angry at this, stropping about that. We've all been walking on eggshells the whole holiday. Then yesterday she got her new healing placement for January and now she's upset about that too."
"Why?"
"How should I know?" Dom huffed. "She's on the Incurable Affliction Ward and she wasn't supposed to be on that rotation for another six months - something like that. I don't know how the junior healer training programme works, but she seems to think she's been given a raw deal."
"It must be a tough ward," Roxanne reasoned. "Treating patients when you know there is nothing you can do to cure them."
"She also has a horrible mentor, Teddy said," Hope added. "That must be difficult."
"There's no excuse for taking it out on the rest of us," Dom shot back, visibly put out that both her best friends were defending Victoire. "She's been in a foul mood recently - I think she's pissed off she won't be able to see as much of Teddy until he can go back into the lab. I mean, come on, she can go to work without him for a bit! They spend enough time together as it is."
Hope knew an instant sense of disquiet. She didn't like keeping secrets from Dom and Roxanne, but Teddy was right. The more people who knew about his work situation, the more likely it was to reach the wrong ears, which would in turn hurt his chances at the hearing.
"Hopefully life will be more normal soon," she said, steering the conversation to the safer territory of vague talk about the curse. "I'm so glad we're able to go to school by train next week. I hate going by floo. I feel like I need the seven hour journey to prepare, you know."
At this, Dom shot a fleeting, almost guilty look towards Roxanne. "We're actually going to go back on Thursday. A few days early."
"How come?"
"To make the most of the library being quiet," Roxanne said, finishing one of her elaborate black curls. She sounded far less enthused. "Now that we can apparate we might as well make the most of it."
Hope experienced that sinking sensation in her chest again, but wiped it away sternly. She could manage a train ride without her friends, for heaven's sake. She was going to have to once they left school.
"Fair enough." She turned back to the mirror, and settled on long, straight hair streaked with blue and silver.
"You could come up early with us," Dom offered, after a small silence. "We can do side along. We're allowed now we've had our permits more than six months."
Hope snorted and turned back round, forcing an amused grin.
"Come back to school early to use the library?"
Dom bit her lip.
"You're going to have to do some proper studying at some point. OWLs are tough at the best of times, let alone when you're not properly prepared."
She's right, you know.
"I'm fine. And so's my work. Thanks for the offer though."
Dom and Roxanne consented to let the matter drop.
oOo
January
The journey up to school wasn't so bad in the end. Hope found a compartment with Rosie and Niamh, who was travelling up from London this year. Both younger girls immersed themselves in their books, earnestly discussing the pros and cons of an experimental charm, while Hope flicked idly through her quidditch card collection. She had no doubt that a lot of people would think her too old for quidditch cards, but she wasn't prepared to give them up. Quidditch remained the only thing she was good at and passionate about, and proof of all these famous players gave her a sense of determination. Maybe... one day... it would be her on one of those cards.
Michael put his head in to their compartment mid afternoon and the three girls greeted him cheerfully.
"Good Christmas?" Hope asked, as Rose and Niamh resumed their intense discussion and Michael sat down opposite her for a proper chat.
"Not bad thanks. The pub is back up and running and it's busier than ever, which is great. Dad was a bit fed up though. We normally visit his parents at Christmas and we couldn't this year, with all the added security in St Mungo's."
"How - how are they?" Hope asked tentatively. She knew all about Michael's grandparents.
"Same as usual," he sighed. "They've no idea about the chaos going on in the world, which is a blessing. They don't know about anything else either though."
"I'm sorry."
Michael shrugged.
"I never knew them as they were before," he said, pragmatic as ever. "Dad didn't either - he was too young when they were attacked. It's harder for Great Gran, but she's used to it, and they don't suffer at all, the healers are certain of that. What happened to them originally is horrific, of course." His jaw clenched and he shuddered. "But as to the long term consequences, there are those who are worse off, in St Mungo's."
"I suppose..."
"Oh there are," Michael assured her, noticing her doubtful expression. "Someone on Gran and Grandad's ward has to take continuous blood clotting potions because of a curse they received twenty years ago. The healers have no other way to treat it, and if they weren't in St Mungo's they'd bleed out within a day. Then there are old incurable wizarding diseases that are awful and cause incurable pain. Necrophylemia, for example. Grenville Maskers Disease. Gorsemoor's."
"I've heard of that," Hope said. "Gorsemoor's Syndrome. One of Mum and Dad's friends has it. It sounds horrendous. It causes fits and delirium and paralysis, doesn't it? Patients completely lose their mind in the end?"
"It's a spasmodic cerebral disorder," Rose chipped in from the corner, before Michael could reply. "Causing erratic symptoms that are completely unpredictable and worsen over time, eventually resulting in quadriplegia and total loss of self and awareness."
"Isn't that what I said in normal person speech?" Hope said to Michael in an undertone, rolling her eyes. He nodded in amusement, then looked more serious.
"In America they call it Dementor's Syndrome," he said. "Because when the symptoms have progressed into the final stages, the sufferer might as well be a victim of the Dementor's Kiss. No sense of self, no nothing. But unlike a dementor's victim, there is always a chance that a cure might be found eventually, and euthanasia is prohibited by worldwide wizarding law, so the patients are kept alive, under careful observation, in a slow but continuous state of decline."
Hope screwed up her face. "I think I'd end it myself before it came to that."
"Sorry," she added, realising that speaking callously of taking your own was not the most sensitve of statements. "I only meant-"
"Oh I get it, believe me," Michael said. "And I think it would happen a lot, but Gorsemoor's is a near impossible thing to accurately diagnose until the sufferer is already in the final stages and showing symptoms. There's no test for it. It's rare, thankfully, but once you've got it..."
Now he said it, Hope remembered that being the case for Dedalus Diggle, her parents' friend. He had only had his confirmed final diagnosis two years ago.
"Are there patients on your grandparents ward with it?"
"Not on their ward. They're in Permanent Spell Damage. I think there are a couple on the Incurable Afflication Ward. It's a tough place to work, especially when you're treating illnesses like that."
That was Victoire's new ward, Hope remembered, with a pang of sympathy for her. Victoire was made of stern stuff, whatever Dom might think, but starting healing placements in the midst of a global medical crisis could not have been easy.
"I couldn't be a healer," she muttered. "I have so much respect for them at the moment. I mean-"
She lost her train of thought as Adam walked past their compartment and, catching her eye, flashed her a broad smile, which Hope returned, heart thudding. In spite of the fall out from the Underworld party, she had not forgotten the fun of dancing with Adam, nor his words. "I like someone."
Her.
"Err - sorry." Hope turned back to Michael. "I - um - forgot what I was saying."
To her relief he appeared amused rather than offended at her rudeness.
"Want to play a card game?" he asked, throwing a meaningful look at the two girls in the corner. Rose, having given her two knut's worth to their own conversation, had turned back to Niamh to continue their debate, oblivious to everyone else.
"They're quidditch cards, not regular cards." For a reason she couldn't explain, Hope felt both embarrassed and defiant, but Michael was not perturbed.
"Great, I've been looking for someone to swap cards with for ages!" He dug in his jacket and pulled out a large wedge of blue backed cards from an inside pocket, and Hope's eyes lit up. Not for the first time, she felt a deep pang of regret that she didn't see more of Michael. They only had Herbology with the Gryffindors this year, as potions was now shared with the Hufflepuffs and Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins. Hope was still struggling to maintain meaningful relationships with others in her own house, and now that Dom was on the brink of leaving, her already lukewarm enthusiasm for being a Ravenclaw was diminishing by the day.
Quidditch was the one thing retaining her house pride, as Ravenclaw were in the running to win the cup for the fourth year in a row, and she was still harbouring a secret hope that she would be captain next year. It might not be much, but it would be something. Hope came across Ginny in her card collection while hunting for a suitable swap for Michael's limited edition Florence Melling, first female captain of the Wimborne Wasps and one of Hope's favourite players of all time. Ginny beamed back at her before streaming off to the goalposts on the background of the card and throwing the quaffle effortlessly past the nameless keeper.
It could be her. One day. Maybe.
O
The quidditch card swapping kept them occupied for the best part of the journey. Only when the train began to slow down - the sign it was entering Hogsmeade station - did Michael leave to get changed with the other Gryffindors, and Hope pulled on her robes from her suitcase. She lost Rosie and Niamh in the in the throng, but as the crowds made their way to the carriages, someone squeezed her shoulder from behind.
"Hey pal!"
James of course. With Adam. Hope only just prevented herself from stumbling over in delighted shock. Safe in the knowledge that he did like her, as confirmed before Christmas, she found her tongue more than in previous conversations, chattering away to them both as they queued for the thestral carriages up to school. Adam, in turn, told her about a couple of antics from the boys carriage on the way up to school, and the queue for the carriages went far quicker than usual. Adam clambered in and pulled Hope up as well. Then James paused with his hand on the steps.
"Ah crap, I dropped my -" he mumbled a word that Hope couldn't catch. "I'd better go and have a look. You go on though!"
Before Hope could protest or register what was happening, he had shot her a triumphant stare and was gone, leaving her alone with Adam in the carriage, which trundled off without waiting for anyone else. She gaped after him. Dom had mentioned about James wanting to matchmake - Hope hadn't taken her seriously. James Potter was not synonymous with Cupid.
Yet here she was, thanks to him. Properly alone with Adam for the first time.
Don't act like a prat like you normally do.
"How was your Christmas?" she asked, as the carriage began rattling up the path. Every inch of her was fizzing suddenly.
"Nice, thank you. Quiet one - I was with my Dad. Had a really chill time. What about you?"
Hope decided not to mention being grounded. How embarrassing, to have to admit to Adam about the night in Hogsmeade. She told him some other snippets, making him laugh at the anecdote about her mother dropping an entire vat of gravy over the hallway. She gazed out at the view below.
"Hogsmeade always looks so pretty from up here."
"Maybe we should go together some time?"
"Yeah." She must look like such an idiot, grinning away. "That would be great."
This term was already shaping up to be better than the last.
O