O
ANANKE
Inevitability
May
Four weeks later, there was some light emerging from the end of the tunnel. Hope knew that matters were far from perfect, and that it would take many long months - years even - before the world was back to normal. She knew that Kingsley Shacklebolt was still in talks with the Muggle prime minister, begging him to remain cautious, trying to impress upon him that while the perpetrator of the curse was now behind bars, the dangers he had unleashed lingered on, and the curse was now part of muggle medicine as much as wizarding affairs. Leaders around the world were enduring similar battles, many without success, and muggle restrictions were set to lift completely before the summer.
Hope also knew from Teddy that her mother was having a better time at work, although Harry was still struggling with the impact of Umbridge's deception. Investigations were underway at St Mungo's to determine the precise events of the past two years, and work out how everything had gone so disastrously wrong.
As for herself, school was much the same as she muddled along. Quidditch was going well - Ravenclaw were still solid favourites for the cup - but motivation for studying was conspicuous by its absence as usual. She was also seeing less and less of Dom and Roxanne, as they spent most evenings in the library.
Then there was Adam. Her boyfriend. Supposedly.
Too proud to keep asking her older friends for their opinion, Hope was trying to come to her own conclusions about his inconsistent attitude, without great success. When they were alone, he was affectionate and warm. Their conversations weren't always riveting, but he was easy going and fun to chat to. Kissing was as enjoyable as always, and he never made any attempt to take things further than she was comfortable with, which she appreciated. But when they were with other people, he changed completely, and his aloofness was beginning to grate on her. Hope was certain that anyone watching on without context would have assumed they didn't know each other at all, which surely wasn't normal for two people in a relationship, even if they were only teenagers.
Maybe he's ashamed of you.
Why would Adam be ashamed of her? They were good together, weren't they? The thought had been plaguing her with increasing frequency, and Hope was now running out of alternative explanations.
"Are you ashamed of me?" she asked abruptly, one bright, clear evening, after they had spent the afternoon with James and some other sixth years. Adam had sat himself several feet away from her, and had not addressed two words to her all afternoon, despite James and Neil's deliberate attempts to engage her in their conversations. With the other boys now departed for quidditch practice, Hope decided to get it off her mind while she had the nerve.
"Ashamed of you?" He looked genuinely appalled. "Of course not! Why would you think that?"
Because you spent the whole afternoon ignoring me and not talking to me and you won't even hug me in front of other people.
Even in her head, the words sounded petty and childish. Adam was still regarding her with wide eyes, his forehead furrowed. Hope's resolve to demand the truth faded to nothing.
"Doesn't matter," she mumbled, scuffing her toe against the grass. "Forget it."
Adam did not press her, merely shrugged and pulled her towards him.
Maybe I can live with him being a bit distant, Hope mused, as his lips met hers and all negative thoughts faded from her mind. It's worth it really.
"Still on for Hogsmeade at the weekend?" he enquired, as they broke apart. "I'll book us a table for lunch somewhere, then we can go and sit up on the hill with some drinks if it's good weather." Hope nodded, vaguely reassured. She had been half expecting him to give her a lame, last minute excuse, or insist they spend the day as a group with 'the guys'. He was apparently looking forward to their date, so he must like her really, mustn't he?
O
"Kirstin Carmichael's had a baby. That's why she hadn't come back to school."
"What?"
For once it was Roxanne, not Morella, who had secured this juicy bit of gossip, and Dom and Hope listened open mouthed.
"She's been pregnant since the summer, but managing to hide it with concealing charms. Then the baby came a bit early during Easter."
"How do you know?"
"One of her mates were talking about it at the top of her voice in the toilets, dopey cow." Roxanne snorted in derision. "I know I wasn't exactly sensible last year, but I hope you'd at least have had my back if the unthinkable had happened. Wouldn't have gone yapping all over the school."
"Course not."
"Imagine if it was you though," Dom said. "I mean, how would any of us cope with that, at eighteen?"
"I know." Roxanne "I hope she's doing alright. I would even feel sorry for her if she hadn't been so vile to us all these years."
"That make's Elodie an Aunt," Hope said. "I wonder what that's like."
"Ha, you two will find out sooner than any of us on that front." Roxanne said. "The way Teddy and Victoire are going."
But Hope didn't think that was on the cards for their siblings quite yet. She had a feeling Victoire was hoping for a ring on her finger before thinking about family. So far, Hope's not-so-subtle attempts at probing Teddy had got her no information on his intentions.
She did study Elodie that night as they got ready for bed. On closer inspection, her rival looked pale and drawn this term, tiny worry lines between her eyebrows. Hope thought back to when she had seen the Carmichaels at the Leaky Cauldron. Kirstin must have been days - maybe hours - away from becoming a mother, the moment where her life changed forever. As her sister, Elodie's life would have been changed irreversibly as well.
Elodie's head snapped to the side and, embroiled in her imaginary sympathy for her usual nemesis, Hope bestowed her with a genuinely warm smile. Elodie glowered.
"What exactly are you smirking at Hopeless?"
Oh right. So aunt or not, Elodie Carmichael was still her same old self.
O
Saturday brought with it warm weather, clear skies, and for Hope, painful stomach cramps, a dull headache, and three new spots on her forehead which could only mean one thing at this time of the month. Growing up, it turned out, was not as much fun as she had been led to believe. She put off getting out of bed as long as she could, wishing she could stay curled up under the covers, but the sun was blinding through the tall windows, reminding her that the day was too perfect not to make the most of, and eventually she forced herself up and got dressed for her date.
Lunch was delicious, and as Adam had suggested, they spent the afternoon up on the hill that overlooked the village, washing down their meal with cold butterbeers.
"I hope the solstice visit is like this," Hope sighed, stretching out and appreciating the cool grass against the backs of her arms, now glad she had dragged herself out of bed. She loved this time of year; the crisp smells, the heartening bird songs, the feeling of warm freshness in the air that only came with early spring time.
"Hope so," Adam agreed. "For you guys, at least. I won't be here though."
Hope, who had been about to take another drink, lowered her bottle and blinked in surprise.
"You won't?"
"No, I'll be in America. Going back to see Mum soon. Vector's given me permission go back home early and do some studying from home, as I haven't been able to travel there for so long."
"That's great!" Hope said. "How long are you going for?"
"About two months," he yawned. "I'll be back home by mid August."
"That's a nice amount of time! When did Vector tell you that?"
"Few weeks ago." He took a gulp of his own drink. "She was super nice about it."
A few weeks ago? Hope stared at him for several long moments. He'd known for weeks that he'd be in America for the last month of term and most of the summer, and he hadn't told her.
Was it reasonable that she would have liked to be kept informed? she wondered. They had been going out for five months, seen each other nearly every day. Surely it was a normal expectation that he would tell her - his girlfriend - that he was going to America in two weeks time, and wouldn't see her until the end of the summer?
He did not seem to have noticed her consternation, just grinned lazily and pulled her towards him, his hands warm and strong on her back, his mouth firm against hers. Hope, as she often did, let the matter slide in favour of more enjoyable activities, but something was nagging at her, and it wasn't only the unexpected news of Adam going away. It was after another five minutes that she realised and sat bolt upright. In her rushed exit that morning she had forgotten something crucial.
"What's up?"
"Um." Hope swallowed. Admitting it was embarrassing, but the alternative was far more so. "Can we go down to the village? I need to use the bathroom."
"Oh." Adam shrugged. "I guess. Plenty of trees though." he grinned and gestured around. "Doesn't bother me, if you must!"
Having grown up in the wilds of Devon, it wouldn't have bothered Hope either, under normal circumstances. However...
"This is kind of something I need a proper bathroom for." Then, realising how Adam may interpret this, she flushed and blurted out. "I don't mean-" Fuck it, why should she be embarrassed about it? It wasn't a rarity, after all. "I have my period. That's all. I need to sort out the charm for it. I was in a rush this morning and forgot."
Adam looked horrified. So much so that Hope had a sudden urge to giggle, which was promptly wiped away by his next words.
"I didn't need to know that," he said shortly. "Seriously, you should keep that sort of thing to yourself."
Hope gaped at him, now perplexed. It wasn't the most glamorous of subjects, admittedly, but was it that appalling? Weren't you supposed to talk to your boyfriend about personal topics?
"What's wrong?"
Adam wrinkled his nose.
"It's a girl problem, isn't it. I'm not a girl. So why would I want to know about it?"
Hope wasn't sure where to start with countering such flawed reasoning, and was too flustered to try. She got to her feet, scowling.
"I'm sorry that my being a girl is causing you so much inconvenience. You can wait here then. If I've got time when I'm done sorting out my problems then I'll see you later."
She shoved her bag on her shoulder and stalked towards the gate, close to tears. How could something so stupid ruin what should have been a lovely afternoon?
Stop it. You don't cry, remember.
"Hope!" Adam came running after her at once. "Hope, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
Hope walked even faster, refusing to acknowledge him as his thudding footsteps drew nearer and he fell into place by her side. The walk down to the village was conducted in stony silence, and after what felt like an age they came to Nifflers. Adam followed her inside, immersing himself in browsing through the haphazard gift shop while she darted to the bathrooms at the back.
The only non-occupied stall was labelled as Out of Order, but Hope ignored it and pushed open the door. Thankfully she had caught herself before any major embarrassment, and once sorted with the most pressing issue, she slumped forwards with her head in her hands, trying to work out why she felt so upset. Was it because of Adam going off to America? His reaction just now? Both? But why should either of them matter? She had long expected him to be spending most of the summer with his mother's side of the family. Maybe he had assumed she knew about it. As to her girl problem, as he had called it, some people were awkward about biological functions. Was it that big a deal?
It felt like a big deal. Hope glowered at a chipped tile on the floor, wishing she could apparate back up to school and leave Adam waiting all afternoon. It would serve him right.
The toilet next door flushed. Hope waited until the apparently ancient inhabitant had shuffled out and, about to leave herself, paused as more footsteps told her that other people had entering the bathroom. She didn't recognise either of the laughing voices, but they were undoubtedly Hogwarts students and, with no desire to be sociable right now, she refrained from making a noise which would alert them to her presence. Judging by the brisk snaps and clicks, they were touching up their make up in the large ornate mirror that hung above the sink.
"What the hell is Adam Towler doing in Nifflers' gift shop?" one of them giggled. "I don't think he'll find anything in here that's his style, somehow."
"Could be shopping for his gran or his mum. He's going back to America in a couple of weeks, isn't he?"
"Aw, I bet you're right. He's so cute."
"Fit, you mean."
More laughter.
"He's lovely, though. Like, such a genuine person. How many guys do you meet who are that good-looking and that nice?"
"I know! He was helping me out in Charms the other day and he was so patient when he was explaining stuff, even though I was being a total dimwit."
The other girl sighed.
"Hope Lupin is so lucky!"
"I know, right."
There was the sound of a bag being buckled up and their voices died away again. Hope, still in her cubicle, stood frozen, the words ringing in her ears.
Hope Lupin is so lucky.
Hope Lupin is so lucky.
Didn't that say it all?
She had a clever, kind, good-looking, older boyfriend. Who everyone clearly adored. She was the envy of girls she had never even spoken to. And she was in a bathroom cubicle sulking, because he had forgotten to tell her he was spending time with his family having not seen them for two years, and because he had preferred not to know about her period, the subject of which she found fairly uncomfortable herself.
I don't think Adam is the issue here.
Hope pulled the chain and went out to wash her hands. The tall, slim, red headed reflection gazed back at her from the cracked and ancient mirror, eyes bright as always, hair in its shiny, vibrant curls. Hope smiled and the reflection grinned back at her, not an outward care in the world. Then, with a heavy sigh, she turned off the tap and left the bathroom too.
Adam was waiting for her outside.
"You were a while!"
Various retorts sprang to her lips but she held them back. Adam was looking very anxious.
"I didn't mean to upset you," he said. "Next time I won't say anything, I promise."
That's not really the point, she wanted to snap. Why is it a problem at all? You're acting ashamed of me again, and also why didn't you tell me you were going to America in two weeks' time? Your other classmates seem to know."
You're lucky, remember. Don't blow this by being a bitch. Adam doesn't have to forgive you the way your family does when you're unpleasant.
"It's fine," she muttered. "Just tired. Too much sun, I guess."
"Shall we go back up to school? We can hang out in the grounds if you prefer?"
"Yeah, that would be nice. Thanks."
Adam held her hand all the way back to school.
Everything was good. Everything was going to be fine.
She was lucky, after all.
O
While the situation with Adam was perfectly adequate, if not perfect, the same could not be said of her studies, and it was becoming more obvious with each passing day that Hope was trailing far behind her classmates. Marion currently spent every spare minute with her nose in a book, and even Elodie and Natalie had given up on their usual whispering and gossiping in the evenings, using the time to pore over essays and notes, testing each other and scribbling frantically on scraps of parchment.
Dom, in particular, was beginning to notice her lack of commitment to her forthcoming OWLs, and Hope was not blind to her concern.
"Do you want to come to the library with me and Rox?" she asked, one Sunday morning. Hope shook her head.
"No thanks. I'm meeting Adam by the lake. Maybe tomorrow."
"Hope." Dom chewed her lip as she packed a stack of books into her own satchel. "I know it's not really my business, but – but you don't... you're not really…" she broke off.
"I'm not studying much?" Hope supplied for her. Dom went red.
"Stop worrying," Hope assured her, grinning. "You've got enough to think about with your own exams, without fussing over mine! There's no need. I'm going to be fine."
Was she going to be fine? she wondered, as she left Dom by the library and headed out into the grounds. It was what she kept telling people. Surely she was. She was always fine.
The truth was she could not bear to study with Dom and Roxanne now, for it would make it all the more apparent how behind she was. And while she was more than willing to sit with Dom in the common room and test her on her own revision in the evenings, she was continuing to refuse her offer of returning the favour. That night was no exception.
"...what colour is a fatiguing solution supposed to be, and what is a key sign that it's gone wrong?"
"Green," Dom said promptly. "A key characteristic is that it issues no smoke or steam, so if it does then you've messed up the recipe. Most likely cause of that is the beetle eyes were too warm when added."
"Perfect answer," Hope said, scanning down the list of questions for another one. Surely this was helpful to her revision too? Just because it was officially NEWT level stuff didn't mean it would not be helpful for OWLS.
It would be more helpful if you actually let her test you on your own list of questions.
Shut up. I'll be fine.
"What is Golpalott's third law?"
"Golpalott's third law states that the antidote to a blended poison will be equal to more than the sum of the antidotes for each of its separate components," Dom reeled off, again without hesitation.
"Correct."
Hope knew, deep down, that this was no help to her revision at all. None of what Dom had said made any sense to her, and she only knew the name Golpalott because of the Narcoviral curse. She ignored the nagging voice in her head and pushed on. Any time spent with Dom was worth it at this point.
"What are the regulations surrounding the control of Veritaserum within the Ministry of Magic?"
This time, Dom thought hard for a moment before replying, although her answer was comprehensive. "Veritaserum interviews have to be conducted in two parts," she said. "If there is enough suspicion on the individual then they do what they call a stage one interview - only closed questions that don't go into specific detail. If that raises suspicion then they proceed to a second interview where they can ask more ind depth questions. If there is no concrete rationale for questioning them in the first place then Veritaserum isn't permitted at all. They tightened regulations after the war as too many people were refusing to come forward as witnesses, terrified that they were going to be slipped some truth serum and be forced to spill random secrets."
"Exactly," Hope nodded, trying to retain this information too. "What year did the changes come in?"
"Err... 2001?"
"Close. 2000."
The quizzing continued for nearly an hour, until Dom insisted that Hope had helped her enough, and that if she wasn't willing to let her return the favour, then she needed to at least go and do a bit of private study on her own. Hope obeyed with reluctance, sat down in a cubicle in the reading room and tried to remember everything she had just asked Dom about, if nothing else to prove that her memory for academic facts was working well, and that despite her lack of revision, she would be in with a good chance in the examinations.
She could barely recall a single word.
o
Professor Flitwick was of a similar mindset to Dom, and called on her to stay behind after Charms the following day.
"We need to have a little talk," he said, once she had followed him into his office with some trepidation. "Sit down."
She sank onto the oak chair in front of him as instructed, and he offered her a cupcake from the pile that always sat on his desk. Today they were vanilla sponge with bright blue icing, tiny bubbles rising from the surface, but Hope declined with a shake of her head and murmur of thanks.
"How are you?" Flitwick asked. "Honestly?"
Hope did hesitate before answering, pulling at a stray thread on her robes as she mulled over possible answers.
Last year my mum nearly died. This year my brother was suspended from his job where he is trying to make sure that my dad lives a longer, healthier life than he's currently expected to. My two best friends are leaving soon to travel the world, and then I won't have any friends because no one in my year likes me. I have no motivation to study for my exams. Oh, and my boyfriend, whatever he says, is ashamed of me and won't talk to me properly in front of other people. How do you think I am?
"I'm fine, sir. Why?"
Flitwick continued to look at her intently, but there was no unkindness in his gaze.
"You are not doing well at the moment, Hope. There's no point pretending otherwise. Your Charms work is borderline acceptable, but that in itself is concerning as it's always been one of your strengths. I have reports from a lot of teachers that you aren't performing to standard, and that includes most core subjects; Potions, Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts." Hope scowled, aggrieved at this. Defence Against the Dark Arts was the only class she was making any effort in, mainly because she was too afraid of her parents' and Harry's reactions should she fail it. Trust Edgy Edgecombe to give her bad reports anyway.
"This hasn't been an easy year for anyone," Flitwick continued. "And I know it has been particularly difficult for you, given the situation with your mother before Christmas and everything that has happened since. I'm here to help you, Hope. I want to help you, especially as-" he hesitated, a sudden sadness clouding his eyes, then shrugged.
"I'll be announcing to the school this week anyway, so there's no harm in telling you now. I'm leaving Hogwarts, after this year."
"You're leaving?" Hope's head jerked up in pure dismay. "Why?"
Her surprised tone appeared to amuse him. "Do I not look to have reached retirement age, Miss Lupin?" he chuckled. "I have worked at Hogwarts for sixty years, and I was no youngster when I started. I taught your father's generation - I am sure he and his friends are responsible for half the white hair on my head and they weren't even in my house. I taught Harry Potter's generation, which included the Weasley twins – they took care of the other half. Your mother came in between them, and got herself into far more scrapes than you have so far, whatever she might tell you now. And one of my first ever students was Arthur Weasley, at eleven years old, who paid avid attention to my lessons about levitation and spent every subsequent class trying to create his own theory on building aeroplanes and hoping I wouldn't notice." Hope did smile fondly at this. "And, after the chaos of this year, I have decided that sixty years and three generations of Weasleys is quite enough. It is time I retired."
Hope said nothing. She couldn't imagine Hogwarts without Flitwick. He was as much a part of the castle as Hagrid, or the ghosts or the forest. And she was quite certain that no teacher would be as good a head of house as he was. Speaking of which-
"Who will be head of Ravenclaw?" she asked abruptly.
"That will be worked out in due course." He didn't meet her eyes as he said it, and Hope tried to do the maths. Which teachers were old Ravenclaws? Batty old Babbling, but it wouldn't be her. Or Trelawney, the equally batty but slightly kinder old witch who taught Divination. Leppard and Hagrid had been in Gryffindor and Calvert already headed Hufflepuff. Binns might have been a Ravenclaw, but Hope doubted that they would make a senile old ghost head of house. Then she thought of Edgecombe, and her heart sank even further. Edgecombe had definitely been in Ravenclaw, and as a young and reasonably dynamic member of the staff, she would be first in line for the position.
"Don't worry about that right now," Flitwick said. He seemed to have read her thoughts. "It is you I'm worried about Hope, and I'm concerned for your wellbeing more than your work."
Hope wondered if she should tell him. How she was feeling lost and confused. Terrified of going down the wrong path but unable to find the right one. Lacking in motivation for everything but quidditch, and that was only because flying came to her with absurd ease. Flitwick was kind, and he always had the students' backs. She remembered his resolute support of Dom in the face of Elodie's cruel bullying.
Dom had real problems to deal with.
Hope didn't feel like her worries were real problems at all.
"Thanks Professor, but honestly, I'm OK. I know I'm not doing great in class, but I'll work harder for the exams."
The little man held her gaze for a long moment, a crease in his forehead. Hope was certain he did not believe her, but he didn't raise any further objections. He nodded and, insisting that she took a cupcake - if not for now then to eat later - dismissed her.
oOo
June
"Look at this!" Roxanne exclaimed, pushing a newspaper article over to her two friends one morning. She had taken to joining them at the Ravenclaw table for breakfast, something that no other student had dared challenge so far, even though it wasn't normal practice.
Hope glanced at the unpleasant picture that Roxanne was indicating. The wizarding world was still trying to unpick the details of Umbridge's terrible deception, and new stories emerged each week, with the horrible, toad-faced woman glowering up at them from the printed pages. "It turns out Umbridge used a two way mirror to talk to The Crow. It was concealed in that old book he brought her while she was in hospital. That's how she was able to communicate with him so easily without even casting any spells. She just had to open the book at the right page and say his name into the mirror when no one was around on her ward, and she could pass on all the information she wanted."
"I've heard of two way mirrors," Dom said, screwing up her forehead. "Didn't Harry use one? During the war? To help them escape from somewhere or other?"
"Oh probably," Roxanne snorted and waved an impatient hand. "Harry's done everything. But just think!" She turned excitedly to Hope. "We could get some for when we're travelling. Then we could talk to you loads. Tell us what we're up to, show you where we are. How great would that be?"
"Yes!" Dom exclaimed, as Hope's mood lifted substantially at the thought. "It would feel like you weren't that far away at all."
The girls' excitement was short lived. Two way mirrors, it turned out, were rare, hugely expensive, and increased in cost the longer the distance of communication required. With Dom and Roxanne already having to save every knut to afford the trip in the first place, and Hope barely having enough savings to purchase a new set of quidditch robes, it was simply not possible.
"Maybe we can get a Phone-Eye like Grandad always goes on about instead?" Roxanne suggested. "You know - like muggles use."
"You mean an Iphone," Dom corrected her, rolling her eyes. "And you know there's no point in Hope having one of them. They wouldn't work at Hogwarts at all."
Hope tried to look nonchalant. Without much success.
"We'll still write to you loads," Dom promised, distressed at Hope's crestfallen expression. "All the time. We'll send you pictures and souvenirs, and a year isn't that long. We'll be back before you know it!"
O
Hey Dopey,
I have a meeting with Professor Vining on Saturday. Seeing her at Hogwarts, so fancy having a catch up afterwards?
Love you,
Txxx
Hope reread the letter that had just arrived for her, frowning.
"Who's Professor Vining?" she enquired, turning to Dom.
"She teaches the Magienetics module for seventh years," Dom replied. "You know, the little one. Dark hair always in a tight plait. You must have seen her around, she's worked here for years!"
"Oh." Hope had forgotten that seventh years could take extra modules, and wasn't sure she would recognise this Professor Vining lady. It was amazing how long you could be at Hogwarts and still run into people you had never noticed before. She decided, however, not to draw further attention to her poor observation skills. "Yeah. I know the one you mean."
"Saturday's the quidditch final." Roxanne had picked up Teddy's letter and was reading it, her eyes gleaming. "Tell him to come and watch Slytherin win the cup. Finally!"
"Tell him to come and watch Ravenclaw win the cup," Dom corrected at once. "Or will that put you off?" she added, seeing that Hope was looking dubious.
Hope raised her eyebrows.
"Why would it put me off?"
"I dunno. Extra pressure and all that."
Unconcerned, Hope shook her head. It wasn't easy these days to put her off when she was flying. On the other hand, watching quidditch matches wasn't really Teddy's favourite activity. Unlike every other member of their family, he remained impervious to all hysteria surrounding the popular wizarding sport. Hope didn't think he could have named a single player in the professional leagues.
She told him about the match all the same. It would be nice for him to see her succeed at something for once.
O
'And that's Lupin with the quaffle, nice steal in the mid pitch, ooh, that was a close one. Great dodge! Swift pass to Weasley, straight on to Wicks - intercepted by Tolaris, and Slytherin back in possession!"
Hope turned sharply and flattened herself against her broom to catch up with the Slytherin player who now had the quaffle. This was Ravenclaw's match to lose. If they beat Slytherin, they would win the cup for the fourth year in a row. Even if they lost the match, the championship would come down to points difference, so packing in the goals was crucial. She, Dom and Daphne, now in their fourth season of flying together, were working well, and the scoreboard currently ready thirty points to one hundred and ten. Good, but not enough to ensure a Ravenclaw win if Roxanne beat Mitchell Sullivan to the snitch.
Dom intercepted the quaffle after a fumbled Slytherin pass, and Hope streaked off towards the opposing hoops at once, ready to catch it on the acceleration, feeling the usual swoop of adrenalin. Fast breaks were her speciality. There was no other sensation like this, darting towards the goals with that sense of purpose, that determination to get to the hoops and bank another ten points, leaving her opponents trailing behind her.
"I TOLD YOU TO BLOCK HER WHEN SHE DOES THAT!" Hope heard Isaak Tolaris roar at another Slytherin chaser in frustration, but his teammate's splutter of protest was drowned in the cheers from the Ravenclaw end of the stands as Hope sent the quaffle soaring through the middle hoop.
Then the screams rose to fever pitch, cheering of an intensity that could only ever mean one thing in a game of quidditch, and, wheeling round, Hope saw Mitch and Roxanne, neck and neck, pelting towards the snitch that was hovering metres above the stands. Hope knew that even she would not be able to get there in time to block Roxanne, and could only watch as the two of them fought it out, neither of them able to pull ahead. Slytherin's keeper was holding tight to the quaffle within the scoring area, and there was no point trying to steal it until the snitch had either been caught or disappeared again; she would only risk giving away a penalty at a crucial moment.
The match was decided in a matter of seconds, and Hope knew that Roxanne had been unlucky, may well have scraped the win for Slytherin if a perfectly aimed bludger from Philip, Ravenclaw's beater, hadn't smashed into the handle of her broomstick, taking the tip clean off. It knocked her completely off course, spinning her, helicopter style, towards the ground. Roxanne held on and landed on her feet with poise, staring ruefully upwards as Mitch rose higher into the air, his fist raised in triumph, and the sea of blue at the end of the stands erupted with the force of a small volcano.
O
"You did great!" Teddy informed her, an hour later, when they had escaped the throngs of excitable students and were sitting, just the two of them, on a stretch grass near the edge of the forest. "Well deserved win for Ravenclaw!"
Hope sniggered.
"You've no idea, have you?"
Teddy raised his eyebrows in mock outrage.
"Of course I do. You scored more goals and you caught the snitch! Isn't that all it comes down to?"
Hope had long ago given up trying to explain the intricacies of quidditch to Teddy. For all his intelligence, his sporting understanding was nil. But she shrugged and nodded. There was no point in arguing. Ravenclaw had won. Again! She beamed as she thought of Dom's glowing face half an hour ago, as she was swept up to the castle by her jubilant housemates. It was impossible to reconcile this Dom with that of a few years previously, with her heightened confidence, her mature composure, her complete acceptance of who she was and disdain for anyone who said otherwise. And it was beautiful to witness.
"Where's your boyfriend?" Teddy enquired, breaking into her thoughts. "Do I get to meet him?"
"He's in America seeing his family," Hope said, her tone casual. In actual fact, their goodbye that week had upset her: a rushed, brief affair before Adam had left her to go and pack - he'd had six weeks notice, could he seriously not have packed before? - vaguely promising to write to her "when he had time", but she was keeping those feelings to herself.
Teddy did not press the point.
"What was your meeting about?" Hope asked. She could tell Teddy had been bursting to tell her from the second they had sat down, and sure enough, his face glowed at her question.
"I've had a breakthrough. In my research. Quite a big one."
A bubble of painful hope welled inside her chest. It was still early days. Very early days. But breakthroughs meant that Teddy was inching closer to finding a cure. Which meant that their father, in turn, was closer to an easier, happier life.
"That's amazing news. Is there any point in me trying to understand the technicalities of it?"
Teddy laughed a little.
"Do you remember me saying how I wanted to study gene mutation. Get the afflicted person past the point where the werewolf bite is harmful to them."
"Yes."
"There's a cell type that all wizards have in their bodies, called the Sigma-Phi cell," Teddy went on. "And I think we've discovered that's the key. Targeting those cells specifically with high magical current is how we will induce further gene mutation, but also how we'll stabilize it, once there is no threat of Lycanthropy left within the body."
Hope was already lost. How could Teddy grasp such bewildering concepts but fail to understand something as simple as a two chaser drift in quidditch?
"Sounds pretty technical! But congratulations. And how come you were speaking to Professor Vining?"
"She published a paper on Sigma-Phi cells last year, so I wanted to ask her some questions about them, see what experiments she could recommend. I've got a couple of extra hands to help me in the lab now too. St Mungo's are being much more generous with funding now that I'm making real progress!"
Hope stared at him with an odd emotion in her chest. She couldn't quite decipher it. Envy? No. Pride, definitely. But there was something else. Regret, perhaps, that she would never be able to follow in the mighty footsteps that Teddy was leaving behind him. And, somewhere deep down, a determination to do better in future.
As if reading her mind, Teddy asked, "What about you? How's your OWL revision going?"
Hope swallowed the lump in her throat.
"Could be better," she admitted. "Haven't had much motivation for studying recently."
"Ahh, you'll be ok!" he assured her, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. "Still got a couple of weeks to cram in some revision, and a lot of the papers cover things you learnt in years one to four, they are always easy points."
Far from reassuring her, Hope felt more apprehensive than ever on hearing this. She couldn't remember anything she'd learnt in years one to four. Teddy's face was earnest. Studying had always been in his nature. It came to him as easily as flying came to her and Hope couldn't admit to him how badly she was really doing.
"Yeah, you're right," she nodded. "I'll be fine!"
O
Try as she might to salvage the last couple of weeks and knuckle down to some hard revision, it was too little too late. Hope wasn't prepared in the slightest, and predictably, her OWL examinations were a disaster.
Potions and Transfiguration were an immediate write off, her carefulness concoction curdling into black char at the bottom of her cauldron and the vase that she was instructed to transfigure into a penguin shattering into several pieces and scratching the examiner's glasses. The papers were not much better.
She thought she might have scraped a pass in Herbology, and felt fairly confident in Defence Against the Dark Arts, but History of Magic and Astronomy were catastrophic and as for Ancient Runes, Hope cringed at the thought of the paper she had handed in when the two and a half hour exam was over. Admittedly was only in Ancient Runes, and she detested batty old Babbling. But hating the professor was not enough to alleviate her overwhelming sense of failure.
It was with a sinking heart that Hope came out of her final exam, Charms, knowing that, as one of her best subjects, it had not gone nearly as well as it should have done. She did her best to push the exams out of her mind and enjoy the last couple of weeks of term with Dom and Roxanne, who had all the time in the world now that NEWTs were complete, but it wasn't possible to forget them entirely, and every time she thought of them, a knot would materialise deep within her chest.
O
Adam or no Adam, exam failure or otherwise, the summer solstice Hogsmeade visit was set to be the highlight of the term. It wasn't the brightest of days - the skies were overcast and rain showers kept threatening - but the atmosphere was lively, and there were more vendors than ever before, as food and drink merchants tried to pack in business after an economically disastrous year. Hope did not hold back on any of them. Being served alcohol, it turned out, was remarkable easy when you had the power to disguise yourself as middle aged women.
"Hope, please stop," Dom begged her, as she approached them with three large glasses of pumpkin punch from The Hog's Head outdoor bar, grinning broadly as she let her short, brown bob morph back into her habitual curls and smoothed out the fake creases around her eyes. Even Roxanne, who had been egging her on for a while, was now apprehensive. "You're drinking too much, and way too fast, you'll make yourself ill."
Hope ignored her and took a gulp of the bright orange liquid, then gagged a little. Did people really drink this stuff because they enjoyed the taste of it? It seemed unlikely, but she couldn't see any other benefits to it, unless you counted a burning throat, loss of balance, and a need to use the toilet every ten minutes.
Hope stumbled off to the bathrooms on her own, knowing that Dom would insist on accompanying her despite not wanting to, and found, to her dismay, that she was queuing directly behind Stella Morton, Adam's ex-girlfriend. Before she could slip away to find a different set of toilets, Stella caught sight of her.
"Hope!"
"Oh, hi."
This was severely awkward, as they had never spoken to each other before, but Stella, inebriated too, appeared oblivious.
"It's Hope." She turned to her friend. "Hope's going out with Adam now."
Her friend, whose name Hope didn't know, shot her an apologetic grimace.
"Oh, I don't mind," Stella said loudly. "You're welcome to him!"
Hope knew she should just walk away, smile politely or else ignore her, but she couldn't. Her heart rate had accelerated.
"What do you mean?" she blurted out.
Stella screwed up her face for several moments.
"Lets just say he liked the idea of having a girlfriend more than the actually having a girlfriend part. Pretty sure he got bored after the first month, but he didn't have the guts to break up with me. Had to do it for him in the end."
Hope swallowed. Was that how Adam felt about her?
"I'm sure that's not the case with you!" Stella's friend said hastily, even more embarrassed. "Everyone's different, after all. Come on Stella, toilet's free."
Stella ignored her and swayed on the spot for a couple of seconds. "I've realised," she said, her eyes sliding out of focus as she addressed no one in particular. "That it doesn't always make a difference - you could be the best person in the world and some people will still treat you like crap. Why waste your time on them?"
With that, she let her friend drag her to the cubicle, and Hope stood there, replaying the words over and over in her head, until it was her turn.
She drank even more on her return from the bathroom and the following hours passed in a blur. One minute she was with Dom and Roxanne as they laughed at a street performer outside The Poltergeist. Next minute she was inside The Poltergeist, now with James, Eoin and Matt, as they gleefully plied her with garishly coloured shots. Hope downed them cheerfully, one by one, until they were interrupted by a fuming Rosie, who told James he was being stupid and irresponsible and dragged her away. Somehow, in the crowds, Hope become separated from Rosie and Niamh too, and now was sitting on a stone bench to the side of a food stall, her surroundings swirling in a haze of sickly colours.
"Hey Lupin!"
Hope looked up and with extreme effort managed to focus her vision enough to make out the bulk of Cadmus Flint.
"Hello."
She had grown quite fond of Cadmus that year, after all their defence classes together, but wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now. His humour was dark, his manner brusque and he wasn't the easiest of company. Not that there was anything she could do about it. He had plonked himself down next to her, a small carton of food in his hands.
"What are you doing here all alone?"
The comment stung her.
"I'm not all alone," she retorted. "I'm taking a break and... freshening... getting fresh air."
Her words were coming out jumbled. Her stomach was churning. Maybe Dom had been right. She should have stopped drinking a while ago. Cadmus was apparently of similar mind.
"Has someone had a bit too much to drink?"
"No! Just one. Or maybe three."
"I suppose you can get served anywhere if you morph a few wrinkles and an old lady hair cut."
"Yup. What's that?" she indicated the food in Cadmus's hands.
"Boar ribs and pumpkin fries. They're alright actually. Want some?"
Her stomach heaved slightly at the thought of more pumpkin.
"I'll pass."
Cadmus raised one of his thick, black eyebrows and chewed a fry himself.
"Where's your boyfriend?"
"In America," she replied shortly. "With family."
"You must miss him."
Hope narrowed her eyes. Even drunk, she didn't like where this was going, but she couldn't quite work out why.
"I don't need boys." she said decisively, remembering Stella's earlier comments. "Boys waste the time that is the time... that I have."
"Merlin, you really are wasted." Hope couldn't tell if he was amused or disapproving, but before she could respond, someone called her name.
"Hope!"
She looked up to see Rose hurrying towards her, followed by James. Beaming, she threw her arms round Rosie's waist as soon as she was close enough to touch.
"See," she said thickly to Cadmus, her face pressed against Rose's ribcage. "It's Rosie! I don't need boys because I have Framily. I mean... Friends who are... Family... and Rosie's here. I love Rosie. Rosie is the cleverest - cleverest in the whole world, and-"
"Yeah, yeah that's great. I love you too, Hope," Rose said, cutting her off and looking anxious as she prized her arms away. "Listen, your Mum's here. In Hogsmeade. She must be one of the Aurors on shift today. They always have a couple on patrol."
Hope stared at her suspiciously. What was it with this month and family members turning up all over the place? They were never normally up this end of the country. She must be mistaken.
"No," she said, shaking her head. "Mum would have told me if she was going to be in Hogsmeade today. She would have wanted to see me. For lunch. Or - or for dinner. Yes."
"Well, maybe she had to swap shifts last minute or something," Rose said, a bite of impatience in her voice. "I definitely saw her. Not ten minutes ago."
Hope screwed up her face, heartily confused and wishing she could lie down and go to sleep and have people stop talking to her. Rose shook her shoulder, trying to get her undivided attention.
"Hope? Seriously Hope, do you want your mum to see you like this? You'll be grounded for weeks. We should get you back up to school."
"No!" Hope glared at her, mouth open in outrage. "School is boring." And she sat back with her arms folded tightly over her chest.
James was chortling.
"It's not funny," Rose snarled, rounding on him. "This is your fault, giving her all those foul shots. It's alright for you - you're of age. You won't be the one who gets into trouble for it." James did have the grace to look chastened, and underneath a firewhisky and pumpkin punch induced haze, Hope knew a bewildering swirl of emotion. Gratitude that her friends had dropped whatever they were doing just to help her avoid trouble combined with pricklings of shame that it was necessary. Why couldn't she ever do anything right?
Cadmus, annoyed at being interrupted and now bored by proceedings, rolled his eyes. "I'll leave you to it," he muttered, and sloped off towards a group of Slytherin sixth years who were nearby.
"I'll take you back up to the castle," Rose offered. "I was going to leave soon anyway."
"But-"
"Hope, trust me on this," Rose pleaded. "Your mum will not be impressed and you don't want to waste half the summer being grounded, do you? Not when Dom and Roxanne are leaving in August."
Hope felt her face fall. Rosie had managed to hit the nerve that hurt the most.
"Where are Dom and Roxanne?" she said in a small voice. "They've left me behind."
"They're probably looking for you," Rose countered at once, her tone now gentle. "But if we try and find them in these crowds we'll risk running into your mum."
"I'll keep an eye out for them," James said. "Tell them Rose took you home. And if I see Tonks," he added, grinning. "I'll tell her I haven't seen you at all!"
Hope nodded dolefully and allowed herself to be escorted through the back streets and up the path towards the castle. Rose maintained a steady stream of chatter but Hope kept her mouth clamped shut, convinced that if she spoke she would vomit. The world was spinning, and the rest of the night merged into a meaningless grey blur of sickness, voices and dizziness. They were back in Ravenclaw tower. She was in bed. Then somehow not in bed. And then there were more voices - she could make out Dom's calm, gentle tones, and for a second felt deliriously happy. Everything was fun when Dom was here. But then her chest ached as she remembered, yet again, that Dom was going away. Far away. She thought she might be saying something along those lines, but then the room was quiet and peaceful, and she was drifting away herself. And then everything went black.
O
Hope opened her eyes and rays of light pierced the back of her skull. Morning already. What had happened? Had she fallen off a broom? Been in a duel? Been hit by the Hogwarts Express?
The unpleasant taste of pumpkins was coming back to her.
Urgh.
With a groan, she pushed herself up in bed, and saw both Natalie and Marion looking across at her from the other side of the room. Was this was what a hangover felt like? Why did people ever drink again after the first time?
"Christ, are you OK?" Marion goggled at her in alarm.
Hope gingerly prodded her temples.
"Just about."
"You look sort of yellow," Natalie chipped in. Hope glared at her, but to her surprise Natalie was looking sympathetic.
"Dom and Rose Weasley were here when we got back last night. You weren't well, so they stayed with you to make sure you weren't on your own."
Hope noticed a large - and mercifully empty - bucket sitting by her bed, and felt thankfulness swirling in the pit of her stomach again, along with shame and embarrassment. She reached out for the glass of water on her nightstand and took a gulp.
"I'm fine," she said. "May have had a few too many illegally purchased firewhiskies. That's all."
"You're not the only one," Marion assured her, grinning. "Alec threw up in the entrance hall when everyone got back at curfew. Flitwick's got him in detention for the next week scrubbing all the downstairs floors, so count yourself lucky that you got home with no one noticing!"
Hope wanted to laugh, but it hurt her head, so she smiled weakly instead.
"Saw you chatting up Flint last night, Hopeless." Elodie had appeared through the door, her hair brushed and gleaming, and Hope felt the relaxed atmosphere in the room fade instantly. "What would Towler say?"
Flint? Oh yes, she'd been talking to Cadmus just before Rose had taken her back to the castle. She couldn't even remember the conversation.
"We were just talking," she spat back at Elodie.
Elodie raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow.
"Hmm, I wonder what Adam would believe. Looked like a very cosy conversation to me. Come on Nat, I'm hungry, let's go to breakfast."
Hope stared at her as she exited the dormitory and made for the stairs. She wouldn't, would she?
"Don't mind her, she's all talk," Natalie said, noticing Hope's expression as she got up too.
"Oh yeah?" Hope rounded on her, her temper rising even as the anger made her head pound. "Flitwick's crystal ball told him about the Underworld party at Christmas, did it?"
To her surprise, Natalie looked highly uncomfortable, biting her lip and fiddling with a strand of her dark blond hair.
"I didn't know about that," she said. "I would have tried to stop her if I had. Honest. I don't care if you break the rules. What's it to me?"
Hope blinked at her, but Natalie was clearly telling the truth.
"Why don't you come down to breakfast with us?" Natalie suggested, her tone still kind, as she and Marion both made for the door. "You look like you need some food."
Hope only had six days left to spend with Dom and Roxanne at Hogwarts, and was feeling too weak, sick and fragile to politely decline. She just shook her head and slumped back down onto her pillows, and heard Natalie sigh as her footsteps died away as well.
Congratulations. Yet another opportunity to be amicable masterfully swept away.
O
The last week of term proved far more enjoyable than previous ones, but, as was always the way, flew by ten times quicker, and Hope was back home for the summer in the blink of an eye.
"How was your term?" her mother asked, as she breezed round the kitchen on her return, hunting for something to eat, despite the copious amounts of chocolate she, Dom and Roxanne had consumed on the train.
"Fine." Was there any other way to answer that question?
"Good journey back down?"
"Yep."
"I was in Hogsmeade for the solstice visit last week, last minute shift. Was hoping to run into you!"
"Really?" Hope crunched on a biscuit, doing her best to look vague. "That's odd. I was there until quite late and didn't see you. But it was packed!"
"Tell me about it. Was a late night, I can tell you. Some people just wouldn't go home."
"Yeah."
"And how did your exams go? You didn't say much about them last I heard from you. Were they all alright?"
"Y-Yes."
A lead weight dropped into Hope's stomach as she remembered her examinations. She may have dodged a bullet by avoiding her mother in Hogsmeade while intoxicated, but there would be no getting around the repercussions of her disastrous OWL results, when they came soaring through the window tied to the leg of a Ministry owl, in just a few weeks' time.
OOO